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I have an idea of when I want to start having kids, so that question never bothered me...unless someone my age asked and then immediately got up my rear end about it. They also get uppity about getting married, buying a house, and doing anything that isn't completely focusing on my career, though, so whatever. My conservative grandma is more accepting of my life choices than my peers are. I just joined the Offbeat Bride board (I remember someone here linked to the blog a while ago and I ate it up and wanted more) and it's pretty good so far. Everyone's really active and there's a lot of advice. I thought the people on The Knot were kind of freakish and scary, so it's nice to see inspiration and planning ideas from normal people. It does weird me out that everyone's so nice- like, absolutely no criticism nice. I guess I'm just used to SA. e: Oh, my mom has a weird thing about kids. She wants grandkids really badly, but I'm also only 21, so if the subject comes up, she says, "Oh, I can't wait for you to have my twins BUT NOT YET. They're going to be adorable BUT NOT YET. I'll move closer to you so I can babysit and you can have time off BUT NOT YET." Zaftig fucked around with this message at 02:03 on Aug 28, 2009 |
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Aug 27, 2009 20:27
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I'm not planning on getting married any time soon so this is hypothetical: Is it acceptable to ask for an engagement ring back if things don't work out? I have the engagement ring my Dad gave to my Mom when they got married, and I'd like to use it when the time comes, but I don't want it to be gone forever if something fucks up.
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Aug 27, 2009 21:10
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Foodahn posted:I'm not planning on getting married any time soon so this is hypothetical: I think legally it's a gift so the recipient can do what they want with it but I think it's common courtesy to give it back. I mean if things didn't work out, I wouldn't want a reminder of the relationship hanging out in my jewelry box.
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Aug 27, 2009 21:16
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Gravitee posted:I think legally it's a gift so the recipient can do what they want with it but I think it's common courtesy to give it back. I mean if things didn't work out, I wouldn't want a reminder of the relationship hanging out in my jewelry box. Actually in some states the ring is considered a contract that you agree to marry someone and you are legally bound to return it if the engagement ends. Look it up for your state though. It's also just common courtesy. Maso: Off topic but, a bunch of people kept hassling my sister about when her and her husband were going to have babies. They stfu when they found out she had recently been pregnant and had miscarried at three months. My boyfriends mom doesn't even care that we're not married yet - she wants babies! At least she's polite about it though.
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Aug 27, 2009 22:00
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Foodahn posted:I have the engagement ring my Dad gave to my Mom when they got married, and I'd like to use it when the time comes, but I don't want it to be gone forever if something fucks up. Do not use it if the ring holds sentimental value for you. A broken engagement/marriage would ruin the family attachment forever. We see it all the time.
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Aug 28, 2009 00:02
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GoreJess posted:One more month & then I can start preparing for "So when are you having kids?" I married into a Catholic family and we are one of the few couples who didn't have a shotgun wedding. People are astonished when I tell them I don't want more than two kids. It's loving horrible sometimes. Thank god my actual mother and father in law only have two kids (smallest family of them all - most have four or five or even six kids) and completely understand, so I don't have to put up with them asking about it or I would go batshit, and quick.
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Aug 28, 2009 00:12
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My mom's been all about the grandkids for years at this point. She keeps saying "you know, the first kid can come at any time. The second one takes nine months, but the first... Any time..." and then she threatens to go hunting for our stash of protection. Just wrong. I have another major question, for those that bought their dress from the standard dress outlets... If you had to have your dress made, how long did it actually take for you to see the finished product? I would prefer to have the dress in the process by this October for my wedding next October, so there is plenty of time for any necessary alterations. Am I completely crazy? My mother's saying we don't need that much time. I'd rather be safe than sorry, and I don't want her to have to worry about paying for rush fees and all that. I've heard from the few dress places that I went to that it could take from six months up to ten if you're getting a dress that's got to be measured hollow-to-hem. Any info you ladies might have for me would be so very appreciated, it's not even funny, if only to help settle things with my mother and I.
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Aug 28, 2009 01:48
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Friendly Geek posted:
A lot of this depends on the designer of the dress. There are some designers that will create a dress from scratch from your measurements, but I think most designers produce dresses in standard sizes. And then from there, your bridal shop or local seamstress alters it to your body. My dress took 6 months to come in, which I think is a pretty standard time frame.
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Aug 28, 2009 01:52
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Farewell Horizon posted:Maso: Off topic but, a bunch of people kept hassling my sister about when her and her husband were going to have babies. They stfu when they found out she had recently been pregnant and had miscarried at three months. My boyfriends mom doesn't even care that we're not married yet - she wants babies! At least she's polite about it though. See that's exactly the thing. Children can be a very sensitive and private issue, it really horrifies me when I've been asked. I mean what if the answer is something like "I can't have children because my uterus is horribly scarred from a previous abortion." You don't know. It's so inappropriate.
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Aug 28, 2009 03:00
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well holy poo poo, I'm getting married in a week.
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Aug 28, 2009 06:25
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CelestialScribe posted:well holy poo poo, I'm getting married in a week.  Congrats!Whats a good present to send to someone who got married? A friend of mine had to miss two of his cousins weddings and wants to send them something anyway. They're not that close so he can't just ask.
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Aug 28, 2009 08:20
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JohnnyRnR posted:Do not use it if the ring holds sentimental value for you. A broken engagement/marriage would ruin the family attachment forever. We see it all the time. Thanks, this makes perfect sense to me, and I didn't think of it at first. If something went awry then my sentiments towards the ring would be tarnished. Maybe something of this nature is best served for an anniversary of some importance. Also congrats to all you weirdos who're announcing marriages.  (Please note the self loathing )
Foodahn fucked around with this message at 11:15 on Aug 28, 2009 |
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Aug 28, 2009 11:11
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Lackadaisical posted:
They most likely have registries. That is always the safest thing to do, because if you're not close with the couple you don't know their style or needs. They could already have everything they need for their kitchen, but really need some great sheets. Gift cards & money are always really great too
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Aug 28, 2009 12:56
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GoreJess posted:They most likely have registries. That is always the safest thing to do, because if you're not close with the couple you don't know their style or needs. They could already have everything they need for their kitchen, but really need some great sheets. What about things nobody thinks of? It'll be months before I see friends who've gotten married but I'd still like to give them something unique. Is there anything you thought "I wish we got"?
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Aug 28, 2009 13:22
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The only "I wish we got..." items that I can think of from my own wedding were more high-price items, so I agree with GoreJess that gift cards or money are the best way to go. Honestly, both of those are the best presents anyway; there's always something you add to your registry that you really hope you get and, of course, don't get!
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Aug 28, 2009 13:25
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Work in progress: a little sugar skull centerpiece for the bridal party table.   My parents have been trying to keep me from doing as much work for the wedding as possible, which frustrates me to no end, so I figure some homemade decorations can't hurt.
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Aug 28, 2009 13:49
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Lackadaisical posted:Whats a good present to send to someone who got married? A friend of mine had to miss two of his cousins weddings and wants to send them something anyway. They're not that close so he can't just ask. As a Chinese person going to my Chinese friends' weddings, I always give them money. For my American friends, I usually buy things off their registry that is useful and nice (chef knife, roast pan, Le Creuset) instead of occasional use items (cake stand, etc.) Also he/she could ask other cousins or their parents. I'm sure the parents would know.
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Aug 28, 2009 22:35
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Add me to the list of engaged people! We made it official on the 13th, right before my fiancee (isn't that a weird word?) went back across the country for his last year of law school. Don't ask if we know when the wedding is, because we haven't even picked a year yet. The stones are sapphire, handed down in his family, and the setting is white gold; we picked it out together. It nearly wasn't done in time because the stone setter person (?) was sent the wrong setting, which is so my life it's not even funny. Now, a question- a male friend of ours is in the midst of ring shopping with his girlfriend. He's concerned about wedding bands because he's allergic to pretty much all metals. I thought I saw a post about wooden rings a few years back, but I can't find it. Does anybody have suggestions for a durable non-metal ring material? Thanks!
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Aug 29, 2009 01:07
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Lackadaisical posted:
Thanks mate. I'm spending time on my vows today, but really have no idea what to write. I'm a writer by profession but this is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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Aug 29, 2009 01:45
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Juniper posted:
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Aug 29, 2009 01:56
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Juniper posted:Now, a question- a male friend of ours is in the midst of ring shopping with his girlfriend. He's concerned about wedding bands because he's allergic to pretty much all metals. I thought I saw a post about wooden rings a few years back, but I can't find it. Does anybody have suggestions for a durable non-metal ring material? Thanks! I think I've seen rings made out of black ceramic around somewhere. I thought platinum was good for people with allergies though?
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Aug 29, 2009 16:23
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Juniper posted:Now, a question- a male friend of ours is in the midst of ring shopping with his girlfriend. He's concerned about wedding bands because he's allergic to pretty much all metals. I thought I saw a post about wooden rings a few years back, but I can't find it. Does anybody have suggestions for a durable non-metal ring material? Thanks! Has he ever worn a ring before? I'm allergic to a lot of things on my neck and ears, and sterling silver makes my neck rashy, but I wear a ring of it every day with no problems. I've just assumed my fingers have tougher skin or something. Might be worth testing by wearing a ring for a day or two and seeing what happens.
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Aug 29, 2009 21:39
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My boyfriend of 3 years recently asked my ring size (of course I didn't know and had to figure it out, since I never wear jewelry) and I've been looking around for rings I like. I'm a bit of a nature girl and also like to be different, so my ideal engagement ring would have a green sapphire and some sort of oak leaf design in the band. I managed to find a designer with some rings I like, but of course she's in the UK and I'm in the US: http://www.georginaettridge.co.uk/gallery/?a=lis&cat_id=49 That's her oak leaf gallery. Really pretty stuff, but it looks like she doesn't have any oak leaf engagement rings. Which means we'd have to commission one, and we're trying not to spend a ton of money on an engagement ring.  I'm really quite torn, because I really want the oak leaf design as oak trees have sentimental value for me (I grew up in a forest). On the other hand, there's the "not spending several grand on a ring" thing and I also don't want to stress my boyfriend out (he's already stressing out about the whole ring and proposal thing from what some people have told me). At least we already know where we're going to get married and what sort of reception we're going to have. Been tossing ideas at each other for some time in regards to that. He wants to get married in the church his parents were married in (They recently celebrated their 25 year anniversary) and there's a park right down the road where we could have a potluck reception where everyone brings alcohol an delicious homemade dishes and we just party it up, kids, adults and all. Both our families are laid back country folk, so this sort of thing will go over well. What's best is that with all the good cooks between both sides of the family, we don't need to pay for catering! Looking at some of the handmade invitations and the pretty bouquets makes me really excited to start planning my own wedding.
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Sep 1, 2009 22:31
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Chajara posted:I'm really quite torn, because I really want the oak leaf design as oak trees have sentimental value for me (I grew up in a forest). On the other hand, there's the "not spending several grand on a ring" thing and I also don't want to stress my boyfriend out (he's already stressing out about the whole ring and proposal thing from what some people have told me). I just went on Etsy and searched for "oak" in rings and a bunch of interesting stuff came up. You should take a look over there. These are pretty: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.ph...levant&includes I just recieved my wedding band from Etsy, actually, and I couldn't possibly be happier with it: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29686480&ref=cat2_gallery_2
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Sep 2, 2009 02:09
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Chajara posted:so my ideal engagement ring would have a green sapphire and some sort of oak leaf design in the band. I managed to find a designer with some rings I like, but of course she's in the UK and I'm in the US: http://www.georginaettridge.co.uk/gallery/?a=lis&cat_id=49 You might be surprised at the cost of a custom ring. If you keep it simple, a custom ring can be quite reasonable. Ask for a quote from that jeweller anyways, and if its out of your price range, look for a jeweller locally. Mom n pop stores usually do custom work. There are lots of advantages to smaller jewellery stores. And Maso that ring is sooooo pretty.
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Sep 2, 2009 02:16
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Ooh, I never thought of Etsy! I also did some googling and found a few shops nearby that do custom jewelry, I don't know how my boyfriend missed them since it took me like 2 seconds  Thanks a lot you guys, that's really encouraging.
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Sep 2, 2009 02:48
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Juniper posted:Now, a question- a male friend of ours is in the midst of ring shopping with his girlfriend. He's concerned about wedding bands because he's allergic to pretty much all metals. I thought I saw a post about wooden rings a few years back, but I can't find it. Does anybody have suggestions for a durable non-metal ring material? Thanks! What about a surgical steel ring? He might not be allergic to that
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Sep 2, 2009 05:40
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Lackadaisical posted:Whats a good present to send to someone who got married? A friend of mine had to miss two of his cousins weddings and wants to send them something anyway. They're not that close so he can't just ask. I'm a bit late, but hopefully this is still helpful. A recently-married friend of mine received a gift card for a nearby grocery store with a card that said something like, "Enjoy your first shopping trip together on us." I thought was pretty unique, and a lot of the older ladies got all reminiscent about cooking their first meals and whatnot. However, the value of the gift might be best recognized by more traditional couples. If Mr. and Mrs. spent the year prior living together, shopping for groceries together is probably more a chore than an experience. Also, cash seems to be hugely appreciated nowadays.
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Sep 2, 2009 18:00
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Juniper posted:Add me to the list of engaged people! We made it official on the 13th, right before my fiancee (isn't that a weird word?) went back across the country for his last year of law school. Don't ask if we know when the wedding is, because we haven't even picked a year yet. Your ring is gorgeous. I love sapphires and the setting is neat. Your friend could try a titanium ring. They're more expensive, but very very few people are allergic to it. You could probably get a custom surgical steel one too. Other than that, wood would be cool, but you'd need to oil it and possibly keep it from getting wet. If there are good ceramic rings out there like someone suggested, that would probably be good too, provided it's really strong ceramic and won't break if he hits it against something accidentally.
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Sep 2, 2009 18:19
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Kind of randomly throwing this out there, but has anyone bought beverages in bulk and have a rough estimate of what it would cost per person for beer, wine, soda for 100 people for a four hour reception?
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Sep 2, 2009 20:35
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Assuming that every guest enjoys their booze you should calculate that each person will have, on average, 1.5 drinks per hour across the three categories. If everyone drinks beer you'll need 600 bottles. That's 25 cases of bottled beer. Adjust from that formula based on the drinking tastes of your crowd.
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Sep 2, 2009 21:05
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Oh, and here's a handy calculator for estimating how much draft beer you need for a party. http://www.kegerators.com/beer-calculator.php
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Sep 2, 2009 21:08
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Several people posted:
Thank you everyone! The friend is more the fiance's friend than mine, so I've passed your ideas on to be passed on to him (pretend you can read that sentence). I wasn't clear on whether he can't wear any metals or has just had a bad experience with a watch in the past, so I'm especially suggesting surgical steel and titanium. I worry about how shatter-prone ceramic might be, but if I happen across really durable ceramic I'll let you know.
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Sep 3, 2009 05:39
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Juniper posted:I wasn't clear on whether he can't wear any metals or has just had a bad experience with a watch in the past, so I'm especially suggesting surgical steel and titanium. More than likely, he's really sensitive to nickel, which is an alloy in pretty well everything. Usually nickel sensitive people are okay with 18k gold, but if he's not, titanium and surgical steel have lower nickel content. There is also platinum and tungsten carbide which I think are nickel free, and in general low to no allery. As far as ceramics go, he could look into pyrex. Glass wear studios makes body jewellery but I'm sure you could request a ring, and I'm sure it would be cheap. There are also gemstone options. I've seen men wearing jade rings, and hematite. Farewell Horizon fucked around with this message at 06:11 on Sep 3, 2009 |
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Sep 3, 2009 06:03
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Here is my booze list for 115 people: Type Size Amount Rye 40oz 7 Vodka 40oz 6 Rum 40oz 5 Peach Schnapps 40oz 2 Amaretto 40oz 2 Gin 26oz 1 Cherry Whiskey 40oz 1 Labatts Blue Light Case (24) 4 Labatts Blue Case (24) 4 Canadian Case (24) 6 Coors Lite Case (24) 7
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Sep 3, 2009 14:27
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Farewell Horizon posted:More than likely, he's really sensitive to nickel, which is an alloy in pretty well everything. Usually nickel sensitive people are okay with 18k gold, but if he's not, titanium and surgical steel have lower nickel content. There is also platinum and tungsten carbide which I think are nickel free, and in general low to no allery. Titanium is actually completely nickel free, being that it's made entirely of titanium. :P A hematite ring would be ballin' though.
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Sep 3, 2009 18:24
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JohnnyRnR, I have a question for you: Do you sell wedding bands, or offer custom wedding bands for a woman? I have an antique engagement ring that's a difficult shape to fit a traditional wedding band with. All I know is that I'm looking for something in platinum that is contoured to fit with my ring. I don't have PMs, but if you can email me to discuss this, that'd be great. kristen at alphamag dot com. My fiance and I may also be interested in discussing men's wedding bands with you as well.
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Sep 3, 2009 22:32
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I have two questions, hopefully someone can give me some advice. 1. For those of you whose parents aren't paying for the entire thing but have offered some financial assistance (like mine), how should I go about this? My dad and stepmom told me right off the bat how much they were willing to contribute. My mother, on the other hand, keeps offering assistance but when I casually ask "so do you have any idea how much you were thinking?" or "is there something you'd specifically like to pay for" I don't get an answer. My parents don't talk to one another and she really dislikes my father so I can't really sit her down and say "Dad and Jane are giving us X amount, I'd like a firm commitment," because she'll just get upset that I brought up Dad, but at the same time I need to be able to start making decisions and I can't budget and figure out how much we're going to need to save up if I don't know what she's planning on doing. I'm not expecting a lot of money from her, if she would just say she'd pay for the flowers or the bar bill or something... 2. Wedding bands. My fiance doesn't really wear rings. I'd like for us to have wedding bands, I'm not doing an engagement ring but I'd like something. The problem is that he has long thin fingers and giant knuckles. Any ring that is big enough to fit over the knuckle on his ring finger is way too big when he gets it on. Part of me knows that if I get him a ring and he doesn't wear it I'm going to be a little sad, but it's not a deal breaker. Is there some way of getting around this, are we just not fitting rings properly? His suggestion was to get our "rings" tattooed on our fingers. I'd be willing to consider this, I have multiple tattoos anyway and we've been together for 9 years now, so we're both pretty sure this is forever. Has anyone else done this?
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Sep 3, 2009 23:09
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Nione posted:I need to be able to start making decisions and I can't budget and figure out how much we're going to need to save up if I don't know what she's planning on doing. I'm not expecting a lot of money from her, if she would just say she'd pay for the flowers or the bar bill or something... Just tell her this and don't bring up what your dad is donating at all, there is no reason you need to mention it if it's just going to upset her. You would need to know what her commitment is even if your dad was paying nothing.
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Sep 3, 2009 23:26
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Nione posted:Is there some way of getting around this, are we just not fitting rings properly? Something my fiancee and I are considering is wearing our rings as a necklace (just string it on a chain!). We both work in a field where we use our hands in a very sensitive environment, not allowing jewelry. Also, we bought wooden rings which you can't submerge in water. To top it all off, rings really bug me when I use a computer/play games (which is most of my free time). We thought that wearing our rings around on our necks was a neat and comfortable way to compromise.
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Sep 4, 2009 00:36
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