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GoreJess posted:You need to get your fiance, parents & in-laws to start calling people for you. Start a spreadsheet if you haven't already! It'll make keep tracking RSVPs and gifts much easier.
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Oct 21, 2009 00:08
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jomiel posted:Start a spreadsheet if you haven't already! It'll make keep tracking RSVPs and gifts much easier. This a zillion times over. We kept a spreadsheet with who we invited, their addresses, when they RSVP'd and what their RSVP was (yes/no/# attending), what gift they gave us, and a place for us to sign off when we sent a thank you card. It made everything so much easier. When it came to about 3-4 weeks before the wedding we tracked down everyone who hadn't already RSVP'd and got their answer.
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Oct 21, 2009 00:44
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I'm having a dilemma. One of my bridesmaids dropped out of the wedding, due to lack of cash. I'm not getting married for almost a year, (353.5ish days, but who's counting.) so it's not like the wedding is around the corner and I'm stuck now, but it's a lovely position to be put in. I've always thought of this girl as my little sister, and I really really wanted her to be in the wedding, but if she's decided that she really can't do it, I'm not going to bitch her out for it. She's doing what she needs to do for herself, I get that. My problem is that no matter what I do, it's going to look like I'm pulling from a B-List or something. I have a couple of options I'm considering, (one: a friend who I was thinking about asking in the beginning, but didn't because we decided on 3 BM/GMs not 4; two: cousins' wives step in and we add a guy.) but I just can't decide what I should do. Both options are probably doable. Either way, it's going to be an ordeal, and I'm just sad that my friend isn't going to be in my wedding. And here, I thought my wedding was going to be fairly stress free. HA.
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Oct 21, 2009 05:59
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What exactly is the lack of cash affecting? Is it just her dress, or is it travel, dress, hotel, etc.? Is there any way you can think of to help her raise money for what she needs in the year you have? That's a decent amount of time, so maybe you can even ask some of your close friends/family to forgo getting you regular presents and instead donate to her fund?
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Oct 21, 2009 06:17
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If you aren't willing to cover her costs, why not just have one less bridesmaid? One groomsman can walk two women down the aisle, or your maid of honor can walk alone - or something like that.
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Oct 21, 2009 13:27
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Fire In The Disco posted:What exactly is the lack of cash affecting? Is it just her dress, or is it travel, dress, hotel, etc.? Is there any way you can think of to help her raise money for what she needs in the year you have? That's a decent amount of time, so maybe you can even ask some of your close friends/family to forgo getting you regular presents and instead donate to her fund? I second this. You want HER there, and that's sweet. Don't pester her like a bridezilla, but ask calmly if there's anything you could do to help her be able to participate, and if she'd be willing to allow you and your friends/family to contribute. Stress what you told us- it's important to you that she be there because she is important to you.
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Oct 21, 2009 13:39
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Off of probation and happily wedded. Everything went great, and the advice people have given before about not worrying about everything going perfectly cannot be repeated enough. We forgot some things (unity cocktail, whoops) the weather was very cold and windy, some people couldn't come last minute, but I still say everything was perfect. GodDAMN does the day go by quickly. My husband (yay!) and I are both bummed at how quickly it came and went, because it was soooo much fun. Everyone I've talked to says they had a great time, and that it was a really fun wedding, and our friends who did the catering, decorations, and flowers for us can never be thanked enough for the amazing job they did. There was so much love put into our wedding from all our friends, it was spectacular. Our good friend, one of our flower guys, even registered online and married us (we found out a month before the wedding that our officiant had been arrested. not good.) So my advice to anyone looking to have friends to help with the wedding is DO IT because it made everything seem so much more meaningful than to have had staff running around somewhere. We haven't gotten our "professional" (again, done by a dear friend) pictures back but I'll post a few my friends took. Oh, and regarding the dress, it got here less than a week before the wedding (can you say YIKES) but it fit perfectly and was gorgeous and well-made and I highly recommend lilywedding.com for anyone looking for a dress that doesn't cost a billion dollars. Mine was $300 including shipping and that included a free petticoat and veil (though the veil doesn't have a comb...I used a different one.) OK blah blah blah PICTURES... our altar:  i forgot to take my heels off before getting on the beach and i was trying SO hard not to stumble in the sand...BUT you can see my bouquet in this one and it rocked so hard  yay marriage!        That tables were soooo pretty. Those are syrup-soaked hybiscus flowers in the champagne...a surprise gift from our flower guys.  cutting da cake  LOL MARRIED  Here's something funny...we didn't set the sound system up quite right so our first dance was...interesting. It was supposed to be "as the world falls down" by David Bowie but the vocal track wasn't going through, just the music...well the echoes from the vocal track are on the music part so it just sounded like poor David was drowning and about a beat too slow. We danced through it anyway, but laughed a lot.
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Oct 22, 2009 18:30
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maso posted:WEDDING! Congrats, maso! I don't know how you planned it all so quickly and made it look so awesome. Want to lend me some of your friends?
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Oct 22, 2009 23:46
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maso posted:It looks like you two really enjoyed yourselves  So glad to see that the dogs could make it out for at least part of the celebration!
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Oct 22, 2009 23:59
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Congrats and welcome to the club. Now people will be on your back about babies - it never ends... The colors and tables are beautiful. I also love your hair!
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Oct 23, 2009 01:29
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maso posted:Gorgeous photos I love your colors They're very similar to mine, but since we're getting married in the spring, the brown is more of an accent color and we have a darker lilac color to go along with the green. Your dress is GORGEOUS and I love your hair too.I actually have a question for general opinion. I really like my hair short, and I've seen some cute wedding styles done short, so I know I could rock it, but I'm torn between keeping it short and growing it out to give my stylist something to play with in April. Anyone have any suggestions?
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Oct 23, 2009 01:46
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GoreJess posted:It looks like you two really enjoyed yourselves Haha yeah...well the dogs weren't allowed on the beach but we took them out for pictures. Snapshot preview of what my real photographer was posing us for, just for you  Thanks everyone for the compliments! I loved my colors sooo much, everyone at the crafts store and people who didn't know me got ugly faces when I told them our colors were green and brown. Whatever, I knew how nice it would look, most people have stupid taste in color so I never let it bother me. ALSO we took our wedding pictures before the ceremony, I liked it that way. One of my favorite moments of the day was coming clumsily down the beach house stairs to go take pictures, with my friend helping me with my bulky skirt, and I was concentrating on not putting a heel through the slats in the wooden steps and was looking down, and when I finally got to the bottom, straightened myself and looked up, there was my soon-to-be husband, standing with the door to the car open and just BEAMING and looking so handsome, we hadn't seen each other dressed yet and we had a very nice quiet few minutes in the car driving to the fort where we took pictures. It was nice to get it out of the way before things got crazy. Plus, I just weeped during the ceremony and just after, and I wouldn't have wanted to then go take pictures looking a little puffy and red. So tldr I would recommend taking pictures beforehand. Sneaky Monkey if you live in Ohio you just might be able to borrow them. They work magic. Ah the perks of having close friends and family in the wedding business. Gravitee: I expected it in spades from my new in-laws, but my side of the family knows better. To my delight and surprise, my husband's grandpa, after making a stork joke and hearing me tell him the stork would have to come back in ten years, told me that was actually really smart and left it at that. I haven't heard anything since, and it's been great. Everyone else who isn't family can go screw themselves if they feel the need to badger us about it, haha. YAY MARRIAGE e: on a totally goony note, we totally rickrolled our wedding. Started playing another song and like 20 seconds in, Rick Astley. And a good thing, too, because it got everyone out on the dance floor. If you have a bunch of friends who spend a lot of time on the internet, DO THIS because it was hysterical. maso fucked around with this message at 05:52 on Oct 23, 2009 |
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Oct 23, 2009 02:26
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maso posted:Haha yeah...well the dogs weren't allowed on the beach but we took them out for pictures. Snapshot preview of what my real photographer was posing us for, just for you Cambria: Thank you for the picture I promise I'll share the ones of us & Cambria when I get them back. I don't think I mentioned it in my post-wedding reply, but she made it down the aisle & sat through the ceremony without making a peep. I was so proud of her My initial color choice was green & brown, but I became obsessed with green....so all the accents became green & the backdrop was white. I can't believe people said that green & brown would be ugly! That is one of the hottest color trends in weddings & home furnishings right now.
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Oct 23, 2009 02:33
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For God's sake, would someone please give me ideas on what to get my best man as a gift? In the past I've received everything from flasks and pint glasses, to cigar cutters and money clips - I'm not looking for anything wild, just something slightly memorable. It's not that I'm against buying from Things Remembered, but goddamn does it seem like a cliche.
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Oct 23, 2009 05:06
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jackpot posted:For God's sake, would someone please give me ideas on what to get my best man as a gift? In the past I've received everything from flasks and pint glasses, to cigar cutters and money clips - I'm not looking for anything wild, just something slightly memorable. It's not that I'm against buying from Things Remembered, but goddamn does it seem like a cliche. I got my groomsmen engraved leatherman tools. As a best man and groomsman, I've received bottles of whiskey. So, a weapon or an intoxicant would be my recommendation.
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Oct 23, 2009 05:17
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jackpot posted:For God's sake, would someone please give me ideas on what to get my best man as a gift? In the past I've received everything from flasks and pint glasses, to cigar cutters and money clips - I'm not looking for anything wild, just something slightly memorable. It's not that I'm against buying from Things Remembered, but goddamn does it seem like a cliche. We gave our wedding party, both mine and my husband's, digital photo keychains that we pre-loaded with pictures of us holding goofy signs saying "thanks" or something like that. They were a hit amongst all the party.
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Oct 23, 2009 05:28
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jackpot posted:For God's sake, would someone please give me ideas on what to get my best man as a gift? In the past I've received everything from flasks and pint glasses, to cigar cutters and money clips - I'm not looking for anything wild, just something slightly memorable. It's not that I'm against buying from Things Remembered, but goddamn does it seem like a cliche. Because my 2 groomsmen where broke and we only had 1 month to plan our wedding we got them their ties for the wedding (colors where black and white)  . I would have gotten them something more cool/interesting but yay 1 month to plan.
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Oct 23, 2009 05:50
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jomiel posted:Start a spreadsheet if you haven't already! It'll make keep tracking RSVPs and gifts much easier. We're giving this a shot, thanks! Neither one of us realized just how unprepared we were for the whole thing. 
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Oct 23, 2009 23:39
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jackpot posted:For God's sake, would someone please give me ideas on what to get my best man as a gift? In the past I've received everything from flasks and pint glasses, to cigar cutters and money clips - I'm not looking for anything wild, just something slightly memorable. It's not that I'm against buying from Things Remembered, but goddamn does it seem like a cliche. I know someone who gave the groomsmen personalized bobbleheads. Like, he sent in photos of the guys, and they made bobblesheads that looked like the guys. Amazing. Unfortunately, I don't know where he got them
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Oct 23, 2009 23:56
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Gravitee posted:Does anyone have any good first dance song selections? We really can't come up with anything solid. We enjoy rock and indie music, so no Phil Collins please. I'm going to have an endless engagement with no wedding on the horizon so you can have my song: Snow Patrol- Chasing Cars Beautiful song, perfect lyrics  edit- whoa, I think I accidentally got redirected here from another thread and then replied to the first page of a 62 page thread. Whoops! My response still stands for anyone who wants to use the song. Pilot to Gunner fucked around with this message at 15:24 on Oct 27, 2009 |
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Oct 27, 2009 15:22
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I got married over a year ago but thanks! You can still keep the song. We ended up dancing to the Black Keys "You're the One" for the record.
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Oct 27, 2009 15:25
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We're dancing to "American Wedding" by Gogol Bordello at our reception. My wife is awesome.
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Oct 28, 2009 01:42
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BulletRiddled posted:We're dancing to "American Wedding" by Gogol Bordello at our reception. My wife is awesome. We did that too and it was a big hit.
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Oct 28, 2009 02:07
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There has come a time in this young man's life where it's time to buy an engagement ring. My girlfriend loves diamonds but she also loves the environment. It seems every website I go to advertises that their diamonds are conflict-free, but very few even mention the environment. Can anyone recommend somewhere that sells environmentally friendly diamond, and is located in/ships to Canada? I don't mind spending a bit more or getting a smaller diamond in order to get an environmentally friendly one, as it would mean a lot to her.
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Oct 28, 2009 05:31
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Lemons posted:My girlfriend loves diamonds but she also loves the environment. It seems every website I go to advertises that their diamonds are conflict-free, but very few even mention the environment. To (badly) paraphrase Mister Jalopy, "The best diamond for the environment is one that already exists. Not one mined fresh." In short, get a used diamond. It will create zero additional damage to the environment.
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Oct 28, 2009 06:09
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I'd say that Mister Jalopy has a pretty bad understanding of basic economic principles. By purchasing anything you remove supply from the market and encourage the production of more goods to satisfy the demand that already exists. It's an interesting question, though. The environmental effect from diamond mining is: 1) Digging a big hole in inhospitable terrain 2) The energy expended to crush the ore and polish the diamond 3) Transporting the extremely valuable stone around the world The only diamonds that do not require mining are man-made diamonds, but they still require significant energy expenditures to produce. As far as CO2 emissions, I have yet to see any credible numbers. Most are just rough estimates that have no understanding of how diamond mining works.
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Oct 28, 2009 06:31
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JohnnyRnR posted:I'd say that Mister Jalopy has a pretty bad understanding of basic economic principles. By purchasing anything you remove supply from the market and encourage the production of more goods to satisfy the demand that already exists. To be fair to Mr. Jalopy, he was actually talking about bicycles, which otherwise end up in garbage heaps, whereas diamonds are held on to forever. All the same, if he buys a second-hand diamond, he's not creating any more demand for DeBeers and the other diamond companies. There's plenty of diamonds sitting in pawn shops and old jewelry boxes. Though I'm certainly no expert, I'd think Moissanite and any other lab-made gem would have to be better for the environment than anything that involves a large-scale mining operation.
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Oct 28, 2009 07:06
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Lemons posted:There has come a time in this young man's life where it's time to buy an engagement ring. Have you considered moissanite? Totally man-made, more refractive (more "fire") than diamonds, nearly as hard as diamonds, and hella cheaper. I love my moissanite ring, personally, and while I know it's not for everyone, it gives me a little squeeeeee inside whenever I look at it (and I've been wearing it for several years now). My ring is 1.5 carats, and to be completely honest, I don't think I would have liked it had my husband spent as much as a 1.5 carat diamond would have cost-- we tend to be a bit more sensible than that. So I have my gorgeous, sparkly ring, and it didn't break the bank, and my mother-in-law gets to call it my "space ring" to her heart's content. 
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Oct 28, 2009 13:57
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I posted my wedding woes a few pages back. See it here. A quick recap: My parents were vehemently against us getting married in Thailand and using my sister's death to make me feel guilty. I got the advice to stand my ground. And I did. Which resulted in me being called cold and not being spoken to for weeks. My relationship with my parents before this point was fine, if not quite good. This has all changed. My fiance's parents stepped in (as best they could, being as tactful and sensitive as possible). My parents finally agreed to come to Thailand. A day or so later, I get another call saying that, according to the State Department website, Thailand is unsafe and I should reconsider. A likely excuse. They're all normal and happy to my fiance's parents, then manipulative and contrary (and sometimes downright irrationally nasty) to me. At this point I was starting to show physical signs of stress. I just couldn't deal with it anymore. So I gave in. We're having a wedding in London (too). But we're not giving up! We're still getting married in Thailand *before* the London ceremony. Because Thailand is what we wanted. But it sucks because: 1) Now we're having to pay for TWO weddings. This is not impossible, but sucks. (We just bought a house that needs to be furnished and was planning to travel around Southeast Asia after the wedding, so it will eat into all of this.) 2) No one is coming to our Thailand wedding now, because why bother if they can just come to London. 3) Because of the above, no one is going to recognise my Thailand wedding because my parents are going to be blabbing to everyone about London. This entire situation has made the wedding lose all of the specialness and excitement for both me and my fiance (who has been awesome throughout). It's now seeming like an expensive chore. Sorry everyone, just venting. Nothing can be done now except a pang of regret for not having eloped. Anyone want to witness a wedding in Thailand?
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Oct 29, 2009 21:55
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Zoecore, sorry to hear that. But I think the Thailand wedding could still very significant for you despite your family, since it will just be two of you. It'd be a mini-honeymoon!
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Oct 29, 2009 22:07
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Lemons posted:There has come a time in this young man's life where it's time to buy an engagement ring. Brilliant Earth uses Canadian diamonds and recycled gold and they ship to Canada. http://www.brilliantearth.com/
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Oct 30, 2009 00:35
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jackpot posted:For God's sake, would someone please give me ideas on what to get my best man as a gift? In the past I've received everything from flasks and pint glasses, to cigar cutters and money clips - I'm not looking for anything wild, just something slightly memorable. It's not that I'm against buying from Things Remembered, but goddamn does it seem like a cliche. I got my groomsmen and ushers Leatherman multi-tools engraved with their initials. Functional AND cool.
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Oct 30, 2009 01:46
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zoecore posted:
I would say to get your own back by making sure those people know it's just a follow-up and not the real wedding. The boy and I got hitched with just our folks there (and we didn't know if mine would be able to make it). Everyone else knows, despite the guilt trips about my elderly grandparents, that was the the wedding. Ultimately, we had to make it our day. and a bonus pic- I'm from the US, he's Scottish and we married in the highlands. Also I have a loving fruitcake! 
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Oct 30, 2009 06:21
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Since it was recently brough up, what's everyone's first dance song? We've got a live band (these guys here who really need to update their webpage, it's very out of date http://www.ashevillegentlemen.com/index.php, we're using the basic set of piano, bass, drums, and saxophone), so whatever we pick it needs to be something they can play and we can find the sheet music for. I've got a few ideas, but we haven't got anything nailed down. 1) Queen - You're my best friend (My top pick right now, dunno how my fiance feels) 2) Chicago - You're the inspiration 3) The Manhattans - Shining Star We also need a 'down the aisle' song, and I don't want the standard "here comes the bride". Same band will be playing our choice. We've had joke suggestions of Queen - Another One Bites The Dust or the Stormtrooper theme. What did/are you do/planning on doing? And zoecore: There's absolutely no reason to have a ceremony in London as well. Just do a reception, don't wear your wedding dress again (unless, of course, you really want to), make it clear to everyone invited that it is NOT the wedding and should not be treated as such and that if they want to see that then they can go to Thailand. I may be mistranslating and this is what you were planning on doing, but if not, don't let your parents or anyone else downplay the wedding you want, you downplay the wedding they're getting by not accepting the first one. Sneaky Monkey fucked around with this message at 19:28 on Oct 31, 2009 |
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Oct 31, 2009 19:24
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Our first dance was to Sarah McLachlan's "I Love You," followed by Fleetwood Mac's "You Make Loving Fun." Our last dance was what our original first dance was going to be, before we realized that we both can't dance and a slower song was our best bet-- Van Morrison's "Moondance." The only reason I went with the traditional bridal march for walking down the aisle was because it's a really good indication to the crowd when it's time to watch for the bride, since that's traditionally when everyone stands and stares. The version we used was really pretty, not the church organ style, but I can't remember the details on it.
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Oct 31, 2009 20:00
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We're going to do our first dance to the Four Tops's "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honeybunch)." We're one of those annoying couples that calls each other pet names all the time, and we're not really a "slow dance" bunch, so we're going to do that and just have fun with it.
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Oct 31, 2009 21:06
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I'll just give our whole "special song" playlist... Ceremony Seating of Grandmothers: Vitamin String Quartet - Tribute to Coldplay's Yellow Seating of Mothers: Ben Folds Five - The Luckiest Groom & Groomsmen: Greg Laswell - Off I Go Bridesmaids: Rilo Kiley - More Adventurous Bride: Coldplay - 'Til Kingdom Come Recessional: Further Seems Forever - On Legendary Reception Entrance: Coheed & Cambria - Welcome Home First Dance: Death Cab for Cutie - I Will Follow You Into the Dark (performed by one of our best friends) Cake Cutting: Cake - Love You Madly Bouquet Toss: Gwen Stefani - Crash Garter Toss: Secret Lives of the Freemasons - It Only Took a Whisper Last Dance: Bosc - Evolve (this is a beautiful song & would make a great bridal entrance or first dance song too) Vitamin String Quartet is great for ceremony music. They cover pop music as a string quartet (obviously) & is a great way to incorporate music you like.
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Oct 31, 2009 22:30
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Ours was "As the World Falls Down" from the Labyrinth. Sans vocals. It was very weird because half the guests were trying to act like nothing was wrong and the other half was laughing. We didn't have music at the ceremony. You wouldn't have been able to hear it on the windy beach anyway.
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Oct 31, 2009 22:31
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Songs! We agonized over songs until the week before our wedding. But we ended up with great picks. We walked down the aisle to Modest Mouse's 3rd Planet. We had a couple of songs play while people gathered, and then went into a looping of the guitar intro to 3rd Planet for a couple of minutes to give people a signal to settle. 3rd Planet may be a song about miscarriages, sure, but we like the part about "the universe is shaped exactly like the earth, if you go straight long enough you end up where you were". We're still emo kids, deep down. The recessional was Whole Wide World by Wreckless Eric. Awesome. First dance: The Beatles' In My Life. We're not even big Beatles fans, but it was perfect for us. Re: Used diamonds. My husband and I are also enviro-conscious. Not only is diamond mining rough, but if you're really curious do some research into how many tons of ore must be processed for each ounce of platinum/gold/silver. That's a lot of waste and pollution. So my husband bought a used ring at a Zales. Because it's pre-owned, it's a lot cheaper. I'm not much of a diamond person so I quickly forgot the combined weight, but it's a beautiful ring with one main stone and 10 around the band, and it's platinum. We're also cheap. For wedding rings we went with tungsten carbide for about $30/each. They're tough-- no scratches at all after the first six months. That was really important to me, as an oil painter often working with caustic chemicals and too stupid to wear gloves. I take my engagement ring off for the really rough stuff, but even it's platinum hide shows some wear with the thing I do while wearing it. zap actionsdower! fucked around with this message at 01:53 on Nov 1, 2009 |
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Nov 1, 2009 01:26
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Our first dance song was Nat King Cole's Unforgettable, which is kind of unoriginal, but my dad sang it which made it pretty special.
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Nov 1, 2009 02:03
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