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Zalb
Oct 12, 2009

Who do you think you ARE?
The greatest poster to ever grace the internet with your PRESENCE?!

Pikaoh posted:

Alright, now in mirror world. A Danish cartoonist draws an image of Jesus operating one of the many torture devices used during the Spanish Inquisition. I wonder, would peaceful protest/political correctness be destroying are country then?

Remember Piss Christ?

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Karatela
Sep 11, 2001

Clickzorz!!!


Grimey Drawer

Zalb posted:

Remember Piss Christ?


I don't recall anyone burning down the suburbs in Chicago over it :colbert:

I am seriously lucky that my family doesn't really use email for much of anything aside from planning family reunions every few years or for work.

Then again, I have to live vicariously through you guys, so...

The Macaroni
Dec 20, 2002
...it does nothing.

Gripen5 posted:

Of course I will believe that a bunch of odd ornaments taken at extremely close range had to come from no other place than the White House Christmas tree.
Actually, I just took a White House tour a couple weeks back, and there were indeed some crazy-rear end ornaments on that particular tree. I shot a pic of this one myself:

Only registered members can see post attachments!

ManoliIsFat
Oct 4, 2002

Ya, wasn't that a project for students?

The Macaroni
Dec 20, 2002
...it does nothing.

ManoliIsFat posted:

Ya, wasn't that a project for students?
No signs or anything indicating that it was a student project. Not that that means any ornaments on the tree represented the Obammunist Atheist Gay Death Panel Plans for America, but I just remember thinking, "With all this nice, elegant stuff around, wtf is up with Crazy Tree?"

chesh
Apr 19, 2004

That was terrible.

Childlike Empress posted:

No signs or anything indicating that it was a student project. Not that that means any ornaments on the tree represented the Obammunist Atheist Gay Death Panel Plans for America, but I just remember thinking, "With all this nice, elegant stuff around, wtf is up with Crazy Tree?"

Old ornaments were sent to schools around the country for children to decoupage. But they were also sent to community organization. This is how, for example, Hedda Lettuce's ornament got there:

quote:

“I was doing some volunteer work with SAGE at the Gay Community Center in NYC. SAGE is an organization that helps elder gay people by providing them social activities and a community space to hang out with their peers," says Hedda Lettuce.

He continues, "It was a festive afternoon for our task of the day was decorating Christmas ornaments for the Presidential tree in the White House. As it turns out, the White House sends ornaments to various organizations, so the job is to make them dazzle in hopes that they will be proudly displayed at the big white mansion in our nations capital.

"So a few of us gathered around pots of glue, brushes and torn paper to decoupage the afternoon away. After I was done with my ornament, I discreetly signed it-xoxo Hedda Lettuce, let it dry, and then placed it in a box to be shipped to Washington. I completely forgot about it until yesterday when I received an excited phone call from Bertis, one of the executives at SAGE,” writes Hedda Lettuce.

The fact that it's on the tree is all the fault of Simon Doonan, creative director for New York's Barney’s department store, who was in charge of decorating the trees this year. Thanks, Doonan, for stirring up a nontroversy.

The Macaroni
Dec 20, 2002
...it does nothing.
Speaking of Christmas, I just received this e-mail from one of my organization's members.

Huge Jerk posted:

In your attempt to remain neutral or politically correct by stating Happy Holidays you have offended me. Have you ever stopped for a second and given it any thought that you might offend those of us who believe in the celebration of Christmas for what it truly is, the birth of Christ? It is so typical of a company to take this politically correct stance or "way out". I suppose it has become easier to offend those of us who believe in the true meaning of Christmas. I have been a loyal member for many years and want to let you know that I am very disappointed in your organization for taking this position.
And here's what got him so up in arms, the "Happy Holidays" message we put in our weekly political newsletter:

Our Newsletter posted:

December 22, 2009 - Happy Holidays!

Our Policy and Advocacy Department Staff want to wish you and your family Happy Holidays and a safe and prosperous New Year! So that we can all take some much needed time to relax with our families and friends, [Our newsletter] will not be published on December 29, 2009. Our next issue will be January 5, 2010. See you next year!
I begged my boss to let me send the bastard that awesome forwarded e-mail from a few pages bak that was like "Hey, it's me Jesus, and I'd rather have you worship Me by spending some time in a soup kitchen or being kind to people than bitching and moaning about people not saying 'Merry Christmas.'" She wouldn't let me. :sigh:

Gripen5
Nov 3, 2003

'Startocaster' is more fun to say than I expected.

Childlike Empress posted:

Speaking of Christmas, I just received this e-mail from one of my organization's members.
And here's what got him so up in arms, the "Happy Holidays" message we put in our weekly political newsletter:
I begged my boss to let me send the bastard that awesome forwarded e-mail from a few pages bak that was like "Hey, it's me Jesus, and I'd rather have you worship Me by spending some time in a soup kitchen or being kind to people than bitching and moaning about people not saying 'Merry Christmas.'" She wouldn't let me. :sigh:

It's ok. It would only make him mad and defensive. Ignorance is bliss.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
The thing is that Happy Holidays encompasses both of the New Years Holidays, Christmas and Hannukah. It's a hell of a lot easier to say "Happy Holidays" than it is to say "Merry Christmas (or Hannukah if you're Jewish) and have a good New Years!" but a lot of people don't seem to understand that.

I say Merry Christmas and I don't really care what people say to me personally. If they're Jewish I just say "whoops sorry" and make a mental note for the next time I see them.

Zwabu
Aug 7, 2006

Toad on a Hat posted:

The thing is that Happy Holidays encompasses both of the New Years Holidays, Christmas and Hannukah. It's a hell of a lot easier to say "Happy Holidays" than it is to say "Merry Christmas (or Hannukah if you're Jewish) and have a good New Years!" but a lot of people don't seem to understand that.


You assume that the people who make a fuss about this actually care about respecting a non-Christian person's holiday or cultural customs and aren't simply all about rubbing their awesome Christianity in everyone's face.

This is a faulty assumption.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Zwabu posted:

You assume that the people who make a fuss about this actually care about respecting a non-Christian person's holiday or cultural customs and aren't simply all about rubbing their awesome Christianity in everyone's face.

This is a faulty assumption.

True. Maybe I just want an ideal world sometimes :sigh:

LorneReams
Jun 27, 2003
I'm bizarre

Toad on a Hat posted:

True. Maybe I just want an ideal world sometimes :sigh:

Well there you go, in an ideal world, no one would give a flying gently caress.

Plom Bar
Jun 5, 2004

hardest time i ever done :(
I can't stand the whole "Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays" thing. I used to think that it was almost exclusively Christians who got upset about Happy Holidays, but lo and behold, this year I was proven wrong when a pagan friend of mine put a rant up on Facebook about how offended he is that people had the gall to wish him a Merry Christmas.

I'll tell ya who's never getting a card from me ever again.

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Plom Bar posted:

I can't stand the whole "Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays" thing. I used to think that it was almost exclusively Christians who got upset about Happy Holidays, but lo and behold, this year I was proven wrong when a pagan friend of mine put a rant up on Facebook about how offended he is that people had the gall to wish him a Merry Christmas.

I'll tell ya who's never getting a card from me ever again.

I can't tell if a pagan getting mad about people celebrating Christmas is incredibly ironic or makes perfect sense.

Plom Bar
Jun 5, 2004

hardest time i ever done :(

Mornacale posted:

I can't tell if a pagan getting mad about people celebrating Christmas is incredibly ironic or makes perfect sense.

It WOULD make perfect sense if he were a pagan for reasons beyond "I'm a twenty-something Fine Arts student and want to be different from the rest of you sheeple"

His paganism is recent, you see.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
I'm sad that I live on the liberal island of Seattle. I desperately wish someone would call me out over some happy holidays instance just so I could ask them what I should do when I change it to Merry Christmas and a Jew sends in his exact same complaint.

But noooooooooooooo, we have to have metro busses with Santa declaring "Yes Virginia, there is no God" and common sense. This is America, I need someone to hate and blame all my problems on.

Intel&Sebastian fucked around with this message at 19:39 on Jan 5, 2010

RagnarokAngel
Oct 5, 2006

Black Magic Extraordinaire

Intel&Sebastian posted:

I'm sad that I live on the liberal island of Seattle. I desperately wish someone would call me out over some happy holidays instance just so I could ask them what I should do when I change it to Merry Christmas and a Jew sends in his exact same complaint.
"This is a Christian nation if they don't like it they can get out."
Now you know.

Schweig und tanze
May 22, 2007

STUBBSSSSS INNNNNN SPACEEEE!

Got this from my mom yesterday...it was the first crazy fwd email I've responded to, I was so disgusted by it and the fact that anyone would find it worth passing on. Not to mention it took me all of 10 seconds to look it up on Snopes and see that it's fake.

Seriously...the implication that lazyass coloreds sit around with their thumbs up their asses while hardworking white amurricans bootstrap it on up is insulting, racist, and ridiculous.

quote:

Emergency Weather Bulletin

This text is from a county emergency manager out in the western part of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan after a severe snow storm ...

The Mining Journal, Marquette, MI

WEATHER BULLETIN

Up here in the Northern part of Michigan we just recovered from a Historic event --- may I even say a "Weather Event" of "Biblical Proportions" --- with a historic blizzard of up to 44" inches of snow and winds to 90 MPH that broke trees in half, knocked down utility poles, stranded hundreds of motorists in lethal snow banks, closed ALL roads, isolated scores of communities and cut power to 10's of thousands.

FYI:


Obama did not come.


FEMA did nothing.


No one howled for the government.


No one blamed the government.


No one even uttered an expletive on TV.


Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton did not visit.


Our Mayor's did not blame Obama or anyone else.


Our Governor did not blame Obama or anyone else either.


CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX, or NBC did not visit - or even report on thiscategory 5snow storm.

Nobody demanded $2,000 debit cards.

No one asked for a FEMA Trailer House.

No one looted.

Nobody - I mean Nobody demanded the government do something.

Nobody expected the government to do anything either.

No Larry King, No Bill O'Rielly, No Oprah, No Chris Mathews and No Geraldo Rivera.


No Shaun Penn, No Barbara Striesand,
No Brad Pitts, No Hollywood types to be found.

Nope, we just melted the snow for water.


Sent out caravans of SUV's to pluck people out of snow engulfed cars.


The truck drivers pulled people out of snow banks and didn't ask for a penny.


Local restaurants made food, and the police and fire departments delivered it to the snow bound families..


Families took in the stranded people - total strangers.

We fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or Coleman lanterns.

We put on an extra layers of clothes because up here it is "Work or Die".


We did not wait for some affirmative action government to get us out of a mess created by being immobilized by a welfare program that trades votes for 'sittin at home' checks.


Even though a Category 5 blizzard of this scale is not usual, we know it can happen and how to deal with it ourselves.

hope this gets passed on.

Maybe .....
SOME people will get the message ......
The world does Not owe you a living.

Karatela
Sep 11, 2001

Clickzorz!!!


Grimey Drawer

Schweig und tanze posted:

Got this from my mom yesterday...it was the first crazy fwd email I've responded to, I was so disgusted by it and the fact that anyone would find it worth passing on. Not to mention it took me all of 10 seconds to look it up on Snopes and see that it's fake.

Seriously...the implication that lazyass coloreds sit around with their thumbs up their asses while hardworking white amurricans bootstrap it on up is insulting, racist, and ridiculous.

Yes, how dare those lazy Americans demand that the government they pay taxes to help them when us REAL AMERICANS just start shoveling!

Not like there is a difference between losing power to my house, and having it flooded out and uninhabitable, nope.

quote:

No one looted.

You mean that, in nearly four feet of snow, with severe wind, people were not out looting? :wtc:

the
Jul 18, 2004

by Cowcaster
I didn't know people could drown in snow.

jackpot
Aug 31, 2004

First cousin to the Black Rabbit himself. Such was Woundwort's monument...and perhaps it would not have displeased him.<
Except for Detroit I thought that part of the country was all white people anyway.

Gripen5
Nov 3, 2003

'Startocaster' is more fun to say than I expected.

jackpot posted:

Except for Detroit I thought that part of the country was all white people anyway.

Yeah, they purposefully cherry picked a part of the country that didn't have minorities. If you read the article. The original version was for Iowa, Wyoming, and the Dakotas, and later ones were of Colorado, and now its Michigan.

They aren't going to bring up when NYC had a severe storm that caused power outages to to over 70,000 customers, 500 of which (including me) were without power for 5 days. But granted, I am pretty sure it was a summer storm, so not nearly as bad overall.

I didn't get a FEMA trailer. :(

God, that was an epic failure of a government mandated private monopoly. But then again, they all are. But that is a story for another time and another thread.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
I take offense at the assertion that victims of Katrina didn't have the "work or die" attitude, it's just that a lot of them actually died.

Schweig und tanze
May 22, 2007

STUBBSSSSS INNNNNN SPACEEEE!

Intel&Sebastian posted:

I take offense at the assertion that victims of Katrina didn't have the "work or die" attitude, it's just that a lot of them actually died.

The whole drat thing is offensive. I did point out in my response to her that having several feet of snow outside with no power, and five feet of rank, fetid water IN YOUR HOUSE are two completely different situations...not to mention when you are destitute to begin with your options are kinda limited.


But whatever, she's a GOOD CHRISTIAN. Jesus was just kidding when he said all that poo poo about helping out the less fortunate and not passing judgement or whatever.

tek79
Jun 16, 2008

The writer seems to be missing the entire point of the concept of FEMA and why its necessary to have a federal emergency response system.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

Schweig und tanze posted:

The whole drat thing is offensive. I did point out in my response to her that having several feet of snow outside with no power, and five feet of rank, fetid water IN YOUR HOUSE are two completely different situations...not to mention when you are destitute to begin with your options are kinda limited.


But whatever, she's a GOOD CHRISTIAN. Jesus was just kidding when he said all that poo poo about helping out the less fortunate and not passing judgement or whatever.




Yeah I was trying to be a bit sarcastic with mine.

I'm right with you though, even ignoring the fluidity of the facts and location of this MOMENTOUS WEATHER EVENT, the smugness and ignorance of the basic facts of hurricane katrina is just disgusting.

Something else that strikes me, can you think of anything that defines "elitist" better than a bunch of people from MICHIGAN thumbing their noses at Katrina victims because they survived a snowstorm?

edit: I need to stop reading this thread, it's making me feel like Terri Schiavo is still around.

Craftics
Jan 31, 2006

fuckin yeah
Just got this gem, from a buddy of mine, who, oddly enough, has parents that immigrated here.

quote:

If u cross the north Korean border illegally u get 12 years hard labor...if u cross Iranian border illegally u get detained indefinitly....cross the Afghan border u get shot ....cross the Saudi border u will be jailed .....cross the Chinese border u will never be heard from again....cross the Venezuelan border u... will b branded a spy and your fate sealed...cross the Cuban border u will b thrown n prison to rot.....however ..cross the U.S. border illegally...u get a job, a drivers license, a social security card, welfare benefits, food stamps, credit cards, subsidized rent or a loan to buy a new house, free education, free healthcare, the right to vote, and all without speaking a word of english.....makes ya think a little bit huh?

Dang Mexicans taking all our jobs! :bahgawd:

:smithicide:

Armyman25
Sep 6, 2005
How the gently caress do you cross the Cuban border? Get a boat and start rowing?

So, what that letter's saying is that the USA isn't a lovely 3rd world dictatorship with draconian laws. I'm glad I live here.

Craftics
Jan 31, 2006

fuckin yeah

Armyman25 posted:

How the gently caress do you cross the Cuban border? Get a boat and start rowing?

So, what that letter's saying is that the USA isn't a lovely 3rd world dictatorship with draconian laws. I'm glad I live here.

The thing that's worse is that both of our parents immigrated here (he knows who my parents are), so to think that he'd rather they had been shot or tortured or jailed is so monumentally disingenuous it's not even funny.

His response to me was something to the effect of "Well our parents did it the LEGAL way, they WORKED HARD (bootstraps!), and all these illegals nowadays just expect everything handed to them on a silver platter!"

:suicide:

jackpot
Aug 31, 2004

First cousin to the Black Rabbit himself. Such was Woundwort's monument...and perhaps it would not have displeased him.<

quote:

cross the U.S. border illegally...u get a job, a drivers license, a social security card, welfare benefits, food stamps, credit cards, subsidized rent or a loan to buy a new house, free education, free healthcare, the right to vote, and all without speaking a word of english.....makes ya think a little bit huh?
So I guess what he's saying is...America rules?

LorneReams
Jun 27, 2003
I'm bizarre
Where is his contact for SS cards, I know a few people that would love to get one.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
There's actually plenty of opportunities to get shot in Afghanistan it's just that people are so excited after getting into the country it's the first thing they do.

Vilerat
May 11, 2002

Craftics posted:

Just got this gem, from a buddy of mine, who, oddly enough, has parents that immigrated here.


Dang Mexicans taking all our jobs! :bahgawd:

:smithicide:

Wait the Afghan govt. controls its border now?

RagnarokAngel
Oct 5, 2006

Black Magic Extraordinaire

quote:

This is so scary. If true, it may be a warning sign about freedom in America.


Man, Patriot act was one thing but I cant make funny faces in the ATM security camera what the gently caress?!

(It's not real: http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/camera.asp)

dphrag
May 20, 2006
Ooga Booga Goo

Schweig und tanze posted:

Seriously...the implication that lazyass coloreds sit around with their thumbs up their asses while hardworking white amurricans bootstrap it on up is insulting, racist, and ridiculous.

So what´s the deal anyway, has the "for the people" part of government been completely eliminated? I mean, wtf is even the point of government if not to help in times of crisis. In fact, I believe I read an academic theory on sovereignty somewhere that stated the very *definition* of government is the body which is called upon in time of crisis.

But gently caress... hurr... coloureds!

Plinkey
Aug 4, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Just got this one:

quote:



Your Social Security

Just in case some of you young whippersnappers (& some older ones) didn't know this. It's easy to check out, if you don't believe it. Be sure and show it to your kids. They need a little history lesson on what's what and it doesn't matter whether you are Democrat or Republican. Facts are Facts!!!


Our Social Security

Franklin Roosevelt, a Democrat, introduced the Social
Security (FICA) Program. He promised:

1.) That participation in the Program would be
Completely voluntary,

No longer Voluntary


2.) That the participants would only have to pay
1% of the first $1,400 of their annual
Incomes into the Program,

Now 7.65%
on the first $90,000

3.) That the money the participants elected to put
into the Program would be deductible from
their income for tax purposes each year,

No longer tax deductible


4.) That the money the participants put into the
independent 'Trust Fund' rather than into the
general operating fund, and therefore, would
only be used to fund the Social Security
Retirement Program, and no other
Government program, and,

Under Johnson the money was moved to
The General Fund and Spent


5.) That the annuity payments to the retirees
would never be taxed as income.

Under Clinton & Gore
Up to 85% of your Social Security can be Taxed


Since many of us have paid into FICA for years and are
now receiving a Social Security check every month --
and then finding that we are getting taxed on 85% of
the money we paid to the Federal government to 'put
away' -- you may be interested in the following:

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Q: Which Political Party took Social Security from the
independent 'Trust Fund' and put it into the
general fund so that Congress could spend it?

A: It was Lyndon Johnson and the democratically
controlled House and Senate.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Q: Which Political Party eliminated the income tax
deduction for Social Security (FICA) withholding?

A: The Democratic Party.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Q: Which Political Party started taxing Social
Security annuities?

A: The Democratic Party, wit h Al Gore casting the
'tie-breaking' deciding vote as President of the
Senate, while he was Vice President of the US

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Q: Which Political Party decided to start giving
annuity payments to immigrants?

AND MY FAVORITE:

A: That's right!

Jimmy Carter and the Democratic Party.
immigrants moved into this country, and at age 65,
began to receive Social Security payments! The
Democratic Party gave these payments to them,
even though they never paid a dime into it!

------------ -- ------------ --------- ----- ------------ --------- ---------

Then, after violating the original contract (FICA), the Democrats turn around and tell you that the Republicans want to take your Social Security away!

And the worst part about it is uninformed citizens believe it!

If enough people receive this, maybe a seed of
awareness will be planted and maybe changes will
evolve. Maybe not, some Democrats are awfully
sure of what isn't so.

But it's worth a try. How many people can YOU send this to?

Actions speak louder than bumper stickers.

AND CONGRESS GIVES THEMSELVES 100% RETIREMENT FOR ONLY SERVING ONE TERM!!!

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson


Didn't research any of these points yet as I'm at work.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
Bush was right, we should've put SS into the stock market so we could gently caress those immigrants over :mad:

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

email posted:

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson Gerald Ford.

Fixed.

The quote doesn't even sound like Jefferson, or even any 18th- through 19-century figure. :eng99:

Vilerat
May 11, 2002
http://www.snopes.com/politics/socialsecurity/changes.asp

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ManoliIsFat
Oct 4, 2002

SpergyGirl posted:

Fixed.

The quote doesn't even sound like Jefferson, or even any 18th- through 19-century figure. :eng99:

People don't really internalize poo poo like that or contextualize and appreciate intellectual history unless they're philosophers or lawyers or historians or some other breed of nerd.

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