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Cabana Boi <3 posted:So I am the groom.. We have been told by everyone and their sister, get a videographer.. This is just my personal opinion, but I would say if you really want the thing videotaped, just have a family member do it. Several of my friends who paid a videographer have never watched the video except once when they first got it. Another thing to keep in mind is that unless you don't mind the videographer being in front of you all facing the crowd, you're going to have alot of shots of you from the back. To me, it just seemed like an unnecessary expense so we're just having a photographer. If you're still interested in hiring a professional, I know alot of photographers do double duty and do both. That might be something to consider.
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Jan 19, 2010 19:28
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ucmallory posted:This is just my personal opinion, but I would say if you really want the thing videotaped, just have a family member do it. Several of my friends who paid a videographer have never watched the video except once when they first got it. Another thing to keep in mind is that unless you don't mind the videographer being in front of you all facing the crowd, you're going to have alot of shots of you from the back. To me, it just seemed like an unnecessary expense so we're just having a photographer. Ill likely do that, brother has a videocam, tripod the thing for ceremony and have a guest rotate it once we do vows, then just hand it to the will-be drunk brother to film reception..
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Jan 19, 2010 19:40
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There are a couple of reasons I'd consider hiring a videographer. One would be that professionals might have a better grasp on the ins and outs of the camera than amateurs. The biggest reason, though, is that many work in teams, so they can capture more than just one angle or one shot of the wedding. Then, they do their editing magic to give you a complete video. When interviewing them, you want to see their work just like you would a photographer. Look for videos that really fit you-- if they tend to use lots of effects or weird music and that's not your bag, move on.
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Jan 19, 2010 19:46
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Cabana Boi <3 posted:Videographer I think a lot would depend on what type of ceremony you are having. For my ceremony, the priest made it clear that no photographer nor videographer will be allowed in the sanctuary. So we're going to have the photographer in the choir loft and set up a video camera on a tripod in the first pew, angled so that it gets our profile more than our back. (My fiance doesn't care as much about having the video, but I do.) The plus to having a videographer is that they are (presumably) trained in being discreet, so that they can move around and get different angles without making your guests stare constantly at that guy walking around. But if you have restrictions on where your media people can go, think about just doing the tripod thing.
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Jan 19, 2010 20:06
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I had my cousin videotape my wedding, using my brother's video camera. Unfortunately, no one realized that the camera was in night vision mode so all the colors are off. So if you do have a friend/family member do it, make sure everything is set correctly.
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Jan 19, 2010 20:38
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Rhaegar posted:Does anyone have any experience with Spence Diamonds? I just bought an engagement ring from their Langley store in December, actually. While I can't really comment on their warranties and stuff since I haven't taken advantage of them yet, I can tell you that their exchange policy is pretty good. My fiancee liked the ring I picked, except that the band looked a little too wide for her small hands. So we went into the store, picked out a similar design but slimmer band, and had the diamond put on that ring. There was no hassle, she just had to do without her ring for a little while. And I got a nice refund because the new ring cost less  I also found the staff very helpful throughout the process. They were very accommodating to my needs and requests (I wanted a diamond from a particular Canadian mine, due to that mine's environmental record), and I'd buy from them again. I considered the online thing, but it seemed like less hassle to buy locally than to do it online. Lemons fucked around with this message at 23:27 on Jan 19, 2010 |
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Jan 19, 2010 23:25
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Which mine did you want to buy from? I've requested a Canadian diamond but I did not specify the mine. A mine with a good environmental record would be something that I would consider when making my purchase.
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Jan 20, 2010 01:07
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The estimate came in today for the venue... $14,885... I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
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Jan 20, 2010 01:51
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Bruiser posted:The estimate came in today for the venue... $14,885... I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. Yea I had that same sticker shock a few times. Living in the Napa valley of CA, there were some places that wanted a $10,000 deposit. We're lucky that we found a great place that was all inclusive (can substitute your own vendors for up to 3 things), and reasonably priced. Hopefully you aren't firmly attached to that venue specifically!
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Jan 20, 2010 03:29
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I'm thinking about proposing on a trip to Belize/Guatemala in a couple of weeks but I'm a little worried about 1. getting it there without her knowing and 2. general safety of the ring while we're there. Anyone have some advice?
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Jan 20, 2010 19:42
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Here's my dilemma, I'm buying an engagement ring from Brilliant Earth (yes, hippie, I know...) and I can afford either a very high quality 1/2 carat (F, very good cut, VVS2) or a somewhat lesser 3/4 carat (H, very good cut, SI1). Is anyone other than a jeweler really going to notice the difference of the higher quality 1/2 carat stone? Should I just go bigger?
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Jan 20, 2010 19:58
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Kaddish posted:I'm thinking about proposing on a trip to Belize/Guatemala in a couple of weeks but I'm a little worried about 1. getting it there without her knowing and 2. general safety of the ring while we're there. Anyone have some advice? Placeholder ring until you get back?
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Jan 20, 2010 20:12
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CalamityKate posted:Placeholder ring until you get back? That's certainly a possibility but I think it would take away from the whole proposal experience for her. I may just do it on her birthday in March. I just thought it would be pretty cool to do it on top of a pyramid in the jungle.
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Jan 20, 2010 20:25
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Kaddish posted:That's certainly a possibility but I think it would take away from the whole proposal experience for her. I may just do it on her birthday in March. I'm sure if you kept it on your person it would be fine, you may look into one of those wallets you can strap under a shirt or some such. And bury it really deep in luggage for the trip and then stick it in that when she's in the bathroom or something.
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Jan 20, 2010 20:27
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RexSS345 posted:Here's my dilemma, I'm buying an engagement ring from Brilliant Earth (yes, hippie, I know...) and I can afford either a very high quality 1/2 carat (F, very good cut, VVS2) or a somewhat lesser 3/4 carat (H, very good cut, SI1). Is anyone other than a jeweler really going to notice the difference of the higher quality 1/2 carat stone? Should I just go bigger? From my experience with the diamond i bought, my 0.75carat (I SI1 excellent cut) looks in a white-gold setting completely colorless to me and my fiancee, and is eye clean. The important thing is the type of impurity leading to the SI1 designation. Feathers as I understand it are bad (as they are essentially cracks, if i am remembering right). But if is has a small crystal/needle or cloud? Especially if it's in the pavilion instead of the crown you will likely never have an issue. Especially at these sizes, I wouldn't want to pay a premium for a VS or VVS when a SI1 can easily be eyeclean. Hawkeye fucked around with this message at 21:51 on Jan 20, 2010 |
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Jan 20, 2010 21:49
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If I remember correctly, my ring is a G or H, SI-something or other, set in white gold, and I can't see a thing until I stare at it closely, and it looks completely bright and clear. If she's into having a big rock on her hand, go for the bigger one. She probably won't even know the difference until you tell her. My newest question for the group is, how did you guys find your florists? I'm looking for someone in the Central NJ area, and I don't know anyone really in the area. I hunted around on theknot.com, but I know that it costs a pretty penny to even advertise on there, so being on there doesn't necessarily mean much of anything. Those of you that found your florists not by word-of-mouth, how did you go about it? I've also been pondering the idea of DIY bouquets, etc, and found a couple of great sites for wholesale flowers. Did anyone do this? How crazy was it in the days before the wedding, putting all that stuff together? Less than 9 months left, and I'm starting to freak out. So much to do, and the time is just flying by! Eep!
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Jan 20, 2010 22:23
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RexSS345 posted:Here's my dilemma, I'm buying an engagement ring from Brilliant Earth (yes, hippie, I know...) and I can afford either a very high quality 1/2 carat (F, very good cut, VVS2) or a somewhat lesser 3/4 carat (H, very good cut, SI1). Is anyone other than a jeweler really going to notice the difference of the higher quality 1/2 carat stone? Should I just go bigger? My finance receives multiple compliments about her ring every single day. People notice it on her hand and comment about how brilliant the diamond is. When shopping for her wedding band, even jewelers would fawn over it. She met a jeweler in the course of her work who commented on it straight away and said "wow that must be worth (over 3x its value)" When we get in elevators the main diamond sparkles and throws light around like a disco ball. Everything I learned about diamonds, came from advice given in this thread. I was able to specify the cut, colour, clarity and size to a jeweler and he was able to source exactly what I was looking for. Go for quality, not size. Unless she's a bitch who wants a BIG ROCK then don't marry her at all. Kaddish posted:I'm thinking about proposing on a trip to Belize/Guatemala in a couple of weeks but I'm a little worried about 1. getting it there without her knowing and 2. general safety of the ring while we're there. Anyone have some advice? If you don't have shared accounts, then take out insurance on the ring. It will be piece of mind and you can cancel the policy after you return and add the ring to your home insurance or whatever. I stored the ring hidden inside a sunglasses case inside our hotel safe. I proposed with a 'substitute' ring while underwater and gave her the real ring back at the hotel. The jeweler suggested to tie the real ring to myself with fishing wire, I think that's pretty good advice. Be aware that the box a ring comes in is usually pretty bulky so it would pay to find an alternative container well before you travel.
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Jan 20, 2010 22:41
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Excellent, thanks for the advice guys. Now I just need to cough up $3000+ in the next few weeks and I'm all set. I hate diamonds so much.
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Jan 21, 2010 00:59
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Kaddish posted:Excellent, thanks for the advice guys. Now I just need to cough up $3000+ in the next few weeks and I'm all set. I hate diamonds so much. We got engaged a few weeks ago. She kinda wanted a diamond but we went with a sapphire. She gets so many comments on it. She tried on two different ones, the first one was a large stone and looked good on her hand, the second one is smaller but better quality. The thing freakin' sparkles so well. Plus she has smaller hands and the smaller stone looks a lot better. Sorry for the crappy shot.  I do have a question. We are planning for the wedding, we started with a smaller budget, I am paying for it, we both don't want a ton of people or anything like that. What is the problem is the photographer. We went to a wedding show a week or so ago, we found a few photographers but the majority of them were meh. We found one that is amazing (link here) but pricey. He would be a large chunk of our budget. We talked to him the other day and spent 2.5 hours with him. He meshed well with us. I think the biggest problem is we both want him. But I'm having a hard time justifying the price. It's not that we have the money for it but I prefer to keep the money for a rainy day, in case something serious happens. How often do people really look through their photos? Now he said for the price it would be engagement, bridal and wedding day, at least 450 edited photos plus prints for the reception that are from the engagement and bridal shots. I guess I didn't end up asking a question and want other people to tell me just do it.
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Jan 21, 2010 02:40
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calandryll posted:We got engaged a few weeks ago. She kinda wanted a diamond but we went with a sapphire. She gets so many comments on it. She tried on two different ones, the first one was a large stone and looked good on her hand, the second one is smaller but better quality. The thing freakin' sparkles so well. Plus she has smaller hands and the smaller stone looks a lot better. First, beautiful ring. Second, to me photography was the most important thing other than location. I would talk to him again & see how much he would take off by just shooting the wedding. If engagement & bridal portraits are important to both you and your fiance, you could get them done by a less expensive photographer. You just don't get to redo your wedding day & if the pictures are less than stellar you might regret it later.
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Jan 21, 2010 03:58
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Can you maybe negotiate with him on the package? Maybe save money by prioritizing what kind of shots you want-- if you can live without engagement photos, for example, or prints, or whatnot? We did our picture package as just burned on a CD, and then we went through and posted the best of the pictures for our friends and family to print at home or to take to Walgreen's or wherever to get prints. That saved us a ton of money.
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Jan 21, 2010 03:59
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GoreJess posted:First, beautiful ring. Second, to me photography was the most important thing other than location. I would talk to him again & see how much he would take off by just shooting the wedding. If engagement & bridal portraits are important to both you and your fiance, you could get them done by a less expensive photographer. You just don't get to redo your wedding day & if the pictures are less than stellar you might regret it later. That's our same thought. We both think that the pictures are the most important thing. Our day is not till 12/18, which he informed us is apparently very popular this year. We have time but I hopefully will be starting a PhD program in the fall and want to get everything squared away before I leave.
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Jan 21, 2010 05:02
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Fire In The Disco posted:Can you maybe negotiate with him on the package? Maybe save money by prioritizing what kind of shots you want-- if you can live without engagement photos, for example, or prints, or whatnot? We did our picture package as just burned on a CD, and then we went through and posted the best of the pictures for our friends and family to print at home or to take to Walgreen's or wherever to get prints. That saved us a ton of money. This and it is very important that you mesh well with your photographer. Having a photographer who could make us laugh so we'd smile after the one million-nth photo showed up in the final product. She knew what we were looking for as far as the types and styles of photos so the day went well and didn't drag on. Photos eat up so much time - time management is a very underrated skill.
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Jan 21, 2010 05:45
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quote:Everything I learned about diamonds, came from advice given in this thread. I was able to specify the cut, colour, clarity and size to a jeweler and he was able to source exactly what I was looking for. Go for quality, not size. Unless she's a bitch who wants a BIG ROCK then don't marry her at all. It's not so much we were saying 'get the bigger one' as it was: 0.5 vs 0.75, both with very good quality cuts. Do you then put a premium on: a smaller stone that is F VVS2 or a bigger one that is H SI1. The point is that as long as the SI1 isn't eye visible, why pay a premium for a vvs2? Also, no one will be able to tell the color difference by the naked eye anyways, so why pay a premium for that? That's why a the two of us said get the 'bigger' one, not because it was simply bigger. quote:The jeweler suggested to tie the real ring to myself with fishing wire, I think that's pretty good advice. I actually did something similar. I sewed it very losely to the inside of my pocket, so it was secure in there (no keys or anything which could catch it in that pocket. Then when it came time to propose, with a small bit of force I could break the thread and give the ring. I think for underwater I would have definitely used a stand-in though. Hawkeye fucked around with this message at 20:40 on Jan 21, 2010 |
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Jan 21, 2010 12:59
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Rhaegar posted:Which mine did you want to buy from? I've requested a Canadian diamond but I did not specify the mine. A mine with a good environmental record would be something that I would consider when making my purchase. It was from the Diavik mine. I did some research that lead to it as one of the most progressive mines in terms of environmental and social impact on the area. I later found out that a friend of mine works as an engineer for the company that owns the mine, and that that particular mine has the highest ISO certification for environmental... stuff. I don't really remember now. Anyway, the guy I dealt with at Spence told me most of the Canadian diamonds they sold were from Diavik anyways.
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Jan 21, 2010 18:14
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Kaddish posted:I just thought it would be pretty cool to do it on top of a pyramid in the jungle. My vote is for a placeholder ring. Crime is a pretty big consideration when traveling internationally. RexSS345 posted:1/2 carat (F, very good cut, VVS2) In this scenario I would advise going with the 3/4 carat. As long as the SI1 grademaker is not offensive the optical difference will not be much. The problem comes in with Brilliant Earth. I'm pretty sure that they don't own the diamonds they are selling you, and are most likely having a supplier drop ship. Ask them to send you a microscope photograph of the inclusions so you can see for yourself what the SI1 inclusion actually looks like.
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Jan 21, 2010 21:57
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Hawkeye posted:It's not so much we were saying 'get the bigger one' as it was:
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Jan 21, 2010 22:26
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Thanks a ton everybody, I'm learning more about diamonds than I ever wanted to! I'll get some more info on that SI1.
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Jan 22, 2010 01:08
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I've found two venues so far that seemed perfect. I got in touch with them and was quoted a price for the rental of the venue and the minimum spend on food. When my fiance and I went to see each venue, maybe one week after being quoted the price and booking the appointment BOTH venues upped the price on us! I questioned them both as to where the change came from and was told I must have written it down wrong. One quote was over the phone and the other by email. I know I didn't get the quotes wrong but since it's just a quote I don't feel like I have any way to fight for the original amount. One quote was increased by $500 the other jumped by $2500 because I suddenly would need to buy out the restaurant. Has anyone had this problem before? Is there something I am doing wrong in my communications with these places?
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Jan 22, 2010 03:55
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Well, I did it. I proposed in Paris on a spot looking over Champs-Élysées and Eiffel Tower. She cried, said yes, yadda yadda yadda.   
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Jan 22, 2010 05:03
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Button posted:I've found two venues so far that seemed perfect. I got in touch with them and was quoted a price for the rental of the venue and the minimum spend on food. When my fiance and I went to see each venue, maybe one week after being quoted the price and booking the appointment BOTH venues upped the price on us! I questioned them both as to where the change came from and was told I must have written it down wrong. One quote was over the phone and the other by email. I know I didn't get the quotes wrong but since it's just a quote I don't feel like I have any way to fight for the original amount. One quote was increased by $500 the other jumped by $2500 because I suddenly would need to buy out the restaurant. It's totally possible this is bad advice, and I have never planned a wedding or been married, so take this with a whole shakerful of salt, but I wonder if saying "That's out of my price range, seeya" would have an effect on the price? Obviously only do this if you are seriously willing to walk away from the venue, but $2500 increase over the quote is ludicrous and I honestly wouldn't trust a vendor that changes things on you that much in this stage while they're still trying to sell you on it. Sounds like the sort of people who wouldn't mind nickel and diming you half to death if you did choose them. Then again, I'm paranoid.
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Jan 22, 2010 05:32
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Omits-Bagels posted:Well, I did it. I proposed in Paris on a spot looking over Champs-Élysées and Eiffel Tower. She cried, said yes, yadda yadda yadda. I think that's the prettiest ring I have seen in a long, long time. Is there a name for this style? I have a round diamond (from my great-grandmother) and never found a setting I liked that looked good with it. This is perfect.
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Jan 22, 2010 16:48
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I'm not sure if this is covered in this thread but...how many people went through premarital counseling? I really would like to go through some counseling to make sure the future husband and I covered all our bases before marriage. I know my church does do some counseling beforehand but I wanted to hear about other people's experiences with it. Also, does anybody have any recommendation for couples devotional sites (if it was Episcopalian specific it would be awesome)?
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Jan 22, 2010 17:30
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Eris posted:I think that's the prettiest ring I have seen in a long, long time. Is there a name for this style? I have a round diamond (from my great-grandmother) and never found a setting I liked that looked good with it. This is perfect. It is an antique ring, so I have no idea what it is called. I think it is an art deco style (1920's time period). But, while searching for this ring I found a jeweler in Hawaii that makes a reproduction ring that looks very similar to the ring I bought.  http://www.mellowantiques.com/gallery/main.php?g2_itemId=393 I emailed them and they said "The ring mount, which includes all but the center stone, is $3,500 in Platinum." You might be able to talk them down a bit. Or you might be able to take pictures to a jeweler and they can make a band for you. I think I have a few more pictures of the ring if you want them. Omits-Bagels fucked around with this message at 17:49 on Jan 22, 2010 |
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Jan 22, 2010 17:33
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Ms. Happiness posted:I'm not sure if this is covered in this thread but...how many people went through premarital counseling? I really would like to go through some counseling to make sure the future husband and I covered all our bases before marriage. I know my church does do some counseling beforehand but I wanted to hear about other people's experiences with it. We haven't started our classes yet, but my fiance and I will be doing the same thing. We're Catholic, so our experience will be a little bit different, but friends who have gotten married before me said that they were really glad to have the classes/counseling. They were able to have conversations about things that maybe they didn't think about, or that they hadn't talked about as thoroughly as they thought they had, like retirement, how to raise kids (it might be different for Episcopalian, but in the Catholic Church, getting married is like making the pope a personal promise that you'll procreate), etc. Some churches will pair you with a couple who have been married for a while, so you have a chance to ask someone who's been there before how they handled things.
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Jan 22, 2010 18:12
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Omits-Bagels posted:It is an antique ring, so I have no idea what it is called. I think it is an art deco style (1920's time period). My fiancee loves that style of art and wanted something along those lines until we saw the one I got her. That is a really nice ring.
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Jan 22, 2010 18:18
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Nicol Bolas posted:It's totally possible this is bad advice, and I have never planned a wedding or been married, so take this with a whole shakerful of salt, but I wonder if saying "That's out of my price range, seeya" would have an effect on the price? Obviously only do this if you are seriously willing to walk away from the venue, but $2500 increase over the quote is ludicrous and I honestly wouldn't trust a vendor that changes things on you that much in this stage while they're still trying to sell you on it. Sounds like the sort of people who wouldn't mind nickel and diming you half to death if you did choose them. Then again, I'm paranoid. I am definitely walking away from those two venues. I figure if they can screw up something as simple as their quote, then they will probably also screw up some major stuff on the big day. I'm just a bit terrified after this experience that every place is going to do this to me.
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Jan 22, 2010 18:26
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Button posted:I've found two venues so far that seemed perfect. I got in touch with them and was quoted a price for the rental of the venue and the minimum spend on food. When my fiance and I went to see each venue, maybe one week after being quoted the price and booking the appointment BOTH venues upped the price on us! I questioned them both as to where the change came from and was told I must have written it down wrong. One quote was over the phone and the other by email. I know I didn't get the quotes wrong but since it's just a quote I don't feel like I have any way to fight for the original amount. One quote was increased by $500 the other jumped by $2500 because I suddenly would need to buy out the restaurant. I definitely agree that I wouldn't go with these two venues, but here's a couple of tips for next time. If you get a quote via email, print it out and take it along. That way you have at least something from them that you can show them. And if it's over the phone, make sure you're talking to the person qualified to give a quote (if it's a restaurant I'd only talk to the general manager or owner) and make sure you get their name and position there. Take notes as you talk to them and write down every amount and bit of information they give you. Make them repeat prices so you know you wrote it down correctly. Then when you go in to visit you can say, "well I spoke with _____ on Tuesday and he said _____" which is where you whip out your very detailed notes. Hopefully you'll be meeting with the same person you spoke with and it will help. Ask at least twice if there are any other charges (such as gratuity, the tax percentage, bar fees, set up or take down fees, cleaning deposits, etc.). Also make sure that when you do pick a venue if they're giving you any deals or discounts that those are included, in writing, as part of your contract. We got a couple of deals because we booked ours far in advance and got in before they raised their prices. So despite the fact that they raised the open bar price by $4/person we have it in writing in our contract that we get the price from when we first got a quote. Especially since you never know if the person you spoke with when you booked it will still be there by the time you get married.
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Jan 22, 2010 19:40
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Omits-Bagels posted:Well, I did it. I proposed in Paris on a spot looking over Champs-Élysées and Eiffel Tower. She cried, said yes, yadda yadda yadda. GREAT ring choice! I'm a slave to anything Art Deco, especially jewelry.
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Jan 22, 2010 22:21
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Ms. Happiness posted:I'm not sure if this is covered in this thread but...how many people went through premarital counseling? I really would like to go through some counseling to make sure the future husband and I covered all our bases before marriage. I know my church does do some counseling beforehand but I wanted to hear about other people's experiences with it. Premarital counseling was required in order to get married in my church. It wasn't particularly good, and if anything in there came up that was new and you hadn't talked about yet, well, you are pretty unprepared. I don't use devotionals, but I have some books to recommend: Love life for every married couple by Ed Wheat. For (wo)men only-so much better than "Power of a praying wife".
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Jan 23, 2010 15:25
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