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My guess is that the family and friends would be PISSED. Plus, no gifts.
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Apr 13, 2010 23:23
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Good lord, maso you have the best bridal photos ever!Smai posted:Has anyone ever gotten legally married, not told a soul, and then had a gigantic one-year anniversary party to let everyone know and celebrate the love still being there (as well as a major national statistical defeat)? I've never heard of anyone doing that, but I would be interested to see how it goes over with friends and family. I think it's definitely better to tell people, even just to say, "We can't afford a wedding right now, but we'll have an anniversary party in a year and we're really looking forward to celebrating with you then!" You don't want to end up like this goon, Elopement and Pregnancy - how do I break the news to our families?
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Apr 14, 2010 00:02
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anythingbutbloo posted:I've found that, at most weddings, guests remember the length of the ceremony (especially if it is long or if there is a HUGE gap between the ceremony and reception), the food/drink and the music/dancing. In fact, talking to most of my guy friends, it's all about the food/drink and music. What defines a huge gap? (I am starting to worry...) Our ceremony is at 1, cocktails/hors d'oeuvres at 5, dinner at 6. So about a three hour gap. We were hoping that since our reception is near the Milwaukee Art Museum/other museums and near the Summerfest grounds (where it will be Irish Fest that weekend), we could recommend these attractions to our guests so that it didn't seem like such a huge gap. Good idea/bad idea?
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Apr 14, 2010 00:19
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vanessa posted:What defines a huge gap? (I am starting to worry...) I dunno, I don't really think anyone would want to pay ~$20 per person to go to Irish Fest or MAM for a couple hours. Especially in wedding attire. If you keep that large gap, I'd bet a lot of people would just find a bar to hang out it. Maybe recommend some (inexpensive) bars around there? Plus parking is an issue. I don't know exactly where you're getting married, but parking downtown sucks, especially if you've got Irish Fest parking to deal with. I'd want to park in one spot for the day, if possible. And no one will want to walk very far in heels...That's just my opinion but you knwo your friends/family better than I do.
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Apr 14, 2010 01:16
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Crusty Nutsack posted:I dunno, I don't really think anyone would want to pay ~$20 per person to go to Irish Fest or MAM for a couple hours. Especially in wedding attire. If you keep that large gap, I'd bet a lot of people would just find a bar to hang out it. Maybe recommend some (inexpensive) bars around there? Plus parking is an issue. I don't know exactly where you're getting married, but parking downtown sucks, especially if you've got Irish Fest parking to deal with. I'd want to park in one spot for the day, if possible. And no one will want to walk very far in heels...That's just my opinion but you knwo your friends/family better than I do. I'm gonna have to agree. The last thing I'd want to do as a wedding guest is go to an Irish Festival in my pretty dress & heels. Three hours is a long time to kill in a city you don't live in. Vanessa is there a reason why you're having the ceremony so early in the day?
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Apr 14, 2010 02:25
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We're having the ceremony at a church, which dictates what time we do that, and the restrictions on the reception venue (and wanting to do an actual dinner versus afternoon appetizers) dictated what time we had the reception. Every wedding I've been to has had that kind of gap between ceremony and reception, so I guess I assumed it was normal?? We were sort of hoping that by giving suggestions of things to do, people would get the idea and NOT wear heels or anything too fancy. I can see how walking around festival grounds might not be desirable, but the museum wouldn't be too bad. Bah, and here everything was so stress free.
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Apr 14, 2010 04:03
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Ms. Happiness posted:Has anybody had to deal with a wedding where your parent/grandparent has a bad illness? Could you get a webcam and do some sort of set up, so you could see him on a screen, and he could see you. He could get all dressed up too, and make a speech :3
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Apr 14, 2010 04:23
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vanessa posted:What defines a huge gap? (I am starting to worry...) I agree with other posters. 3 hours is a long time to kill when you are dressed up. Could you do cocktails/hors d'oeuvres and cake at 2ish and have everything end at a time where people could then go have dinner? Maybe 6 or 7? That way you have less of a gap, people still get enough food, and you have plenty of time to socialize and dance if you were planning that. You will also save a lot of money this way since you don't need to serve a full meal.
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Apr 14, 2010 07:15
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I have a question for those who used Milly Bridal or a website that is similar for their wedding dress. Did they, or can they bustle the train for you, or did you have to go somewhere else to have that done?
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Apr 14, 2010 13:18
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vanessa posted:What defines a huge gap? (I am starting to worry...) I have one this summer that's an 11:00 ceremony, 6:00 reception. Absurd.
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Apr 14, 2010 14:01
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vanessa posted:We're having the ceremony at a church, which dictates what time we do that, and the restrictions on the reception venue (and wanting to do an actual dinner versus afternoon appetizers) dictated what time we had the reception. Every wedding I've been to has had that kind of gap between ceremony and reception, so I guess I assumed it was normal?? Honestly, the worst gap I've heard of was 5 hours. Luckily, I didn't go to that wedding. Your gap of 3 hours is pretty standard, especially for church weddings/evening receptions. I won't lie -- guests don't like it, as they find themselves milling about looking for something to do while waiting (and face it, people like to and will dress up for weddings, no matter), but it isn't the end of the world. I've been to a wedding like this, am going to go to another one next month like this, and I'll survive  In the end, it's your day and your big memories, so don't let something as standard as a traditional ceremony/reception gap trouble you -- people will understand, are likely used to it, and are there for you guys anyway.
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Apr 14, 2010 16:48
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Well, if we were in the UK I know what my fiance and I would be spending all our money on for the wedding: http://tanklimo.com/tank_limo_hire.htm I can't find anything similar in New England.
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Apr 14, 2010 21:03
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I have a slight problem: Our wedding is about 3 months away, and during a discussion about photographs I asked my partner what his parents were likely to be wearing - would they dress for a formal wedding, considering I'd only ever seen them in old t-shirts, joggers and fleeces, even when going out to dinner? He tells me he doubts they even own any formal clothes, and it probably wouldn't occur to them to "dress up" since that would mean buying new outfits (they're somewhat not well-off). Personally, I feel they should "make an effort" (read: I couldn't care less where they get 'em, they could borrow from friends or whatever, but I think they should wear smart clothes instead of joggers.) since it's their son's wedding and they are going to be at the head table. They will also be in some of the main photographs, and those are fairly important to me. Another issue (by no means my main concern, because I am too busy being fussy about the photographs and such) is that my Granny is fairly old-fashioned and would definitely be offended by them dressing down at her granddaughter's wedding, and she might vocalise this to them. Is there any way I can (or can get the groom to) broach this subject with them, or would that be rude and incredibly selfish?
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Apr 14, 2010 23:19
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Cota Froise posted:
Just to make you feel better, I'd have a problem with this too. Your fiance needs to be the one to bring it up, since they're his parents. I can't believe that someone would show up to their son's wedding in track suits, but I guess it's possible. Not that your fiance should guilt them into it, but he should appeal to the side of them that wouldn't want people talking about them behind their backs. If they show up in sweats, it is guaranteed that everyone will think they are white trash.
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Apr 14, 2010 23:55
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These were our save the dates; Getting married at the museum of contemporary art gave me the inspiration to make it Lichtenstein themed;  I got them printed through work on high gloss card, DL sized and we put a magnet on the back. It's weird seeing them on the fridges of all our friends and family. This is the venue,  Our wedding will be on the balcony on the left hand side in the afternoon. You can see the MCA building center right above the Ferry;  This is the view from the balcony;  Pressure is now on me to do the invitations.. I want to continue the contemporary art theme, but I am having a hell of a time putting it together.
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Apr 15, 2010 00:01
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Wow, that is such an awesome idea. Love the STD cards!
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Apr 15, 2010 00:52
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Cota Froise posted:He tells me he doubts they even own any formal clothes, and it probably wouldn't occur to them to "dress up" since that would mean buying new outfits (they're somewhat not well-off). I've known a few people with this situation - The solution is to take them shopping. It won't cost you anything to buy a couple of nice outfits "for the wedding." If you have a stylist coming in invite the mother-in-law to get her hair and makeup done as well. That would resolve the situation, and you'll help them fit in and feel comfortable.
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Apr 15, 2010 02:30
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I love those save the date cards, very clever.Cota Froise posted:I have a slight problem: Can't the father of the groom hire or rent formal wear with the rest of the bridal party? I mean, all your groomsmen don't own tuxes, they're renting, right? For your future mother in law, I'm sure you and your fiance could go shopping with her and get her something she likes for around $50 as a gift, and it be good bonding for you and your future mother-in-law.
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Apr 15, 2010 04:50
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I just kind of skimmed over the thread, so apologies if this has been asked before. I'm planning on getting married in my parents' backyard, on their deck. I don't belong to any church, but I was baptized Lutheran. I'm wondering how common it is to find someone to officiate the ceremony who isn't a religious figure. I don't mind religion being in the ceremony, it just seems easier to go non-denominational. I'm right outside of Chicago if that helps. I just know goons know their poo poo, so I figured I'd ask you first. Loving the art museum wedding, btw.
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Apr 18, 2010 04:12
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Isis in Illinois you can have an internet ordained minister marry you. If you can find a friend who can keep a straight face for a few minutes, you can tailor the ceremony however you want. My husband married my brother and sister-in-law in Chicago. Many venues also have a list of recommended ministers and pastors on file that you can call if you are in need of one. I'm sure in Chicago you can find quite a few "Dial-A-Minister"s if you look in the right place.
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Apr 18, 2010 14:14
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Gravitee posted:if you look in the right place. That's my problem, I don't know where to begin to look. :[
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Apr 18, 2010 15:43
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Isis Q. Dylan posted:That's my problem, I don't know where to begin to look. :[ http://www.decidio.com/local-businesses/officiants-chicago-illinois-s52.html Try this, maybe?
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Apr 18, 2010 15:55
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That's a great one. A quick "Minister services chicago" google search came up with a few. Try any Chicago brides message board on theknot or Offbeat brides and ask for recommendations.
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Apr 18, 2010 17:17
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We had a friend get ordained through Universal Life Church and she married us. It was fantastic.
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Apr 20, 2010 03:13
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zap actionsdower! posted:We had a friend get ordained through Universal Life Church and she married us. It was fantastic. That's what we're doing as well. I'm really looking forward to it because it's someone that we've known for years and years, not a complete stranger, so the ceremony will be a lot more personal and meaningful (to us, anyway).
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Apr 20, 2010 18:45
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Here's another question for you guys. We're a little less than 6 months out, and I'm starting to think about what I'm going to get him for a wedding present, but we haven't really broached the subject except to say "hey, that'd be a fun wedding present" just in passing, or people saying "oh hey, wedding present!!" to us about one thing or another. I've got a couple ideas, but we haven't really gone into talking about budget stuff for that. (I'm really hoping he's not forumstalking me right now...) In my head, I've got things anywhere from a beer home brewing kit (anywhere from $95-400) to racing school (which starts at $700), and all kinds of stuff between. Am I crazy? What are you guys doing/what did you do for your spouse-to-be?
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Apr 20, 2010 19:34
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Wait, we're supposed to get poo poo for each other? I sorta figured, you know, the rings and the party and the honeymoon were great gifts to ourselves. Almost to the 2-month mark for me. Graduating end of may, married end of june. Honestly the most stressful part so far is trying to learn to dance, since we both want to be the leader (swing/lindy hop style). Everything else is way easier than I thought it'd be.
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Apr 20, 2010 19:48
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Friendly Geek posted:Here's another question for you guys. We're a little less than 6 months out, and I'm starting to think about what I'm going to get him for a wedding present, but we haven't really broached the subject except to say "hey, that'd be a fun wedding present" just in passing, or people saying "oh hey, wedding present!!" to us about one thing or another. I've got a couple ideas, but we haven't really gone into talking about budget stuff for that. (I'm really hoping he's not forumstalking me right now...) In my head, I've got things anywhere from a beer home brewing kit (anywhere from $95-400) to racing school (which starts at $700), and all kinds of stuff between. I've never heard of this "tradition." We got each other a wedding, rings and a night not at home!
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Apr 20, 2010 19:50
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I know a few people here have mentioned using google forms to manage their RSVPs. Anyone willing to share the form that they used? I've made a few versions, but I'm never quite satisfied.
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Apr 20, 2010 20:19
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Doc Faustus posted:I know a few people here have mentioned using google forms to manage their RSVPs. Anyone willing to share the form that they used? I've made a few versions, but I'm never quite satisfied. https://www.theknot.com has a free RSVP form you can use. It's what I'm doing currently. It even has tabs where you can say if the invite is sent out and what the response is. It's lovely.
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Apr 20, 2010 21:53
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Doc Faustus posted:I know a few people here have mentioned using google forms to manage their RSVPs. Anyone willing to share the form that they used? I've made a few versions, but I'm never quite satisfied. A friend who is getting married next month used weddingwire.com to track the RSVPs. I'm honestly not sure what else the site involves, but as a guest, it was really easy to RSVP, and we got an auto-confirmation email as well. Just throwing that idea out there too; not sure if you were 100% with sticking to google forms or not Of course, this site may be more involved than you were looking for!
brambling lass fucked around with this message at 22:17 on Apr 20, 2010 |
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Apr 20, 2010 22:13
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Doc Faustus posted:I know a few people here have mentioned using google forms to manage their RSVPs. Anyone willing to share the form that they used? I've made a few versions, but I'm never quite satisfied. We're using weddingwire.com. We made a website with all the pertinent information about the wedding and are using its RSVP system. It's really easy. You can group people by household and then they just type in their name and check who in the household is coming coming (they can send you notes too). It lets you have RSVPs for the ceremony, reception, rehearsal dinner, and bridal shower for different groups of people once you make guestlists, which are pretty useful as well. The only thing that annoys me is that there is no automatic guest option, but I just make extra people in the "households" of single people and name them Guest. I agree with those saying that getting gifts for the spouse is ridiculous, but I hear about it all the time. So we just decided we're going to get each other a dog, when the time is right (which we were going to do anyway).
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Apr 20, 2010 22:54
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ixo posted:Wait, we're supposed to get poo poo for each other? I sorta figured, you know, the rings and the party and the honeymoon were great gifts to ourselves. I have friends that got each other gifts, but we decided that spending money on our honeymoon was our gift to each other.
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Apr 20, 2010 23:50
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We're going to register this weekend, and any advice would be appreciated. If you registered (I know some couples don't), what were things you wish you had registered for? What were things you put on there that, thinking back, you probably wouldn't again?
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Apr 21, 2010 00:45
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ucmallory posted:We're going to register this weekend, and any advice would be appreciated. If you registered (I know some couples don't), what were things you wish you had registered for? What were things you put on there that, thinking back, you probably wouldn't again? For the love of god, don't put any 'joke' items on the registry! We put some Nerf dartboard and a bottle of ranch dressing on ours as a joke and to see if people really looked at it. When I checked the registry online before our shower, both were listed as not purchased. We ended up getting two of the dartboards and several bottles of ranch at the shower. Serves us right I guess. For more practical advice, just think about whether you will really use the things you register for. It's easy to get carried away zapping everything you think is cool, but then you end up with a bunch of stuff you don't really need, meanwhile that one item you *really* wanted is still sitting un-purchased on the registry. Also, definitely make sure to register for a wide variety of prices. Some people might only be able to afford some small kitchen items, while some rich friend might want to outdo everyone else and buy you a TV.
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Apr 21, 2010 01:45
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ucmallory posted:We're going to register this weekend, and any advice would be appreciated. If you registered (I know some couples don't), what were things you wish you had registered for? What were things you put on there that, thinking back, you probably wouldn't again? When do people normally start registering?
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Apr 21, 2010 06:33
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dopaMEAN posted:When do people normally start registering? When I asked that, I was told that you register soon after getting engaged (in case people want to buy you engagement gifts. I love the wedding industry). We're getting married in June and we registered in January just because we had time, but no one has bought anything yet. Of course, we've only sent out the Save the Dates so far and not the invitations, so that makes sense to me. I think most people shop last minute, but if someone wants to shop early, the registry should be available to them when they get the invitation. But that's just my opinion. I guess it also depends on how you're going to tell people about the registry.
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Apr 21, 2010 13:58
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dopaMEAN posted:When do people normally start registering? My fiance and I registered REALLY early, because people were asking where we were registered before our engagement party (and there's now a huge pile of gifts sitting in my room and taking up space because of that.) and that was like 15 months out. Basically, about a month before the first shower/party for the wedding is probably a good idea. Whatever you do, though, make sure you keep up with everything and see if anything's gone to clearance or anything. And also try to make sure you don't put anything too ridiculously expensive, because no one's going to want to buy you a $400 sheet set unless they're crazy. We actually had to change our fine china that we'd registered for because it seems it has been discontinued. (Thank goodness no one had gotten any of it.)
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Apr 21, 2010 14:04
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dopaMEAN posted:When do people normally start registering?
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Apr 21, 2010 16:42
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dopaMEAN posted:When do people normally start registering? If you do register early, and people actually start buying gifts early (in terms of engagement gifts, shower gifts, etc.) just make sure that the registry still has enough items of varying price for when the actual wedding arrives. Nothing like a ton of wedding guests accessing a registry to see most items are already purchased or cost a lot of money. We didn't need a lot of items, so we never registered anywhere. Most people gave us cash if they wanted to get a gift.
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Apr 21, 2010 19:11
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