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King_Crimson posted:Alright let's see if I can put this as not retarded as possible... Can you link to the law? Because the albeit brief search I did says that they're not prohibiting the sale of these items, they're just adding a 25% tax on them.
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# ? Apr 25, 2010 07:49 |
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# ? May 15, 2024 02:57 |
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Here ya are Red: http://flhouse.gov/Sections/Bills/billsdetail.aspx?BillId=42392 idk if that's exactly what you're looking for... so here's a link to a 'news' article about it also, riddled with obnoxious cannabis banner ads. http://stash.norml.org/florida-legislature-considers-limiting-retail-sale-of-smoking-devices I'll try and find the .pdf of the text of the actual bill if that's what you meant, but I wouldn't know where to find the law that it creates. fake edit> http://www.myfloridahouse.gov/Sections/Documents/loaddoc.aspx?FileName=h0187c.CCJP.doc&DocumentType=Analysis&BillNumber=0187&Session=2010 there we go
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# ? Apr 25, 2010 08:04 |
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Might want to crosspost that to the legal issues thread in TCC, they might be more familiar with what's involved in that sort of thing.
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# ? Apr 25, 2010 10:44 |
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ArcaneMan posted:Might want to crosspost that to the legal issues thread in TCC, they might be more familiar with what's involved in that sort of thing. thanks for the good idea, hadn't seen that thread yet. I figured my chances were 9/10 for getting something between 'idk' and 'you need to just get a lawyer' on here as it were so yeah, that might just be a better route.
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# ? Apr 25, 2010 10:58 |
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I helped draft a municipal drug paraphernalia ordinance once. If there's a dispute over whether you're selling tobacco pipes or marijuana pipes, the government has been known to call tobacconists as expert witnesses to explain whether anyone would ever want to smoke tobacco through your pipe.
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# ? Apr 25, 2010 17:19 |
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NancyPants posted:Was I having a dream, or isn't it completely illegal for cops to set up checkpoints and just pull over X number of cars that are not seen to be performing any violations and request licenses and registrations? I'm not talking about times they set up with five cars in busy areas on summer holidays and they wait for drunks and speeders and whatnot to pull over, I mean pulling over drivers who aren't visibly breaking any laws. I'm not a fan, but it is fine. These checkpoints actually target unlicensed/suspended drivers, not DUIs and are set up around poorer neighborhoods (because suspensions are basically economic crimes). Checkpoints within X number of miles from the border are also ok. Other checkpoints are far more problematic. Loopyface posted:Why would that be illegal? You basically agree to allowing the cops to stop you anytime they want when you get your license.
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# ? Apr 25, 2010 21:03 |
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I may be responsible for a family member's estate in the near to mid-future. There is not and likely will not be a will. Here in Ohio, the probate courts have a "summary release from administration" for estates valued at less than $5000. My questions : 1) Am I correctly reading the order of descent as whoever is closest to the decedent has full rights and responsibilities to the estate, or would people in the next category also have a say? For example, if a child is the closest living relative, but the decedent's mother is also living, would the mother be able to contest the child's administrator request? 2) Are personal items, such as clothing, small electronics, furniture etc. considered to be part of the estate? Do these things need to be part of the inventory, or is there a dollar limit below which items need not be disclosed? 3) When writing the inventory, is it necessary to hire an appraiser, or can the administrator assign value him/herself? 4) Would I need to file an application to be named administrator before requesting summary release, or can these be done concurrently? 5) How long does the process typically take? Would it be feasible to have everything completed within a week of the family member's death? [asking as I live several thousand miles away.] 6) If the estate is over the $5000 limit (unlikely), how does this complicate the probate process? What are the effects on the timeline? Thank you.
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# ? Apr 27, 2010 12:10 |
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At the end of last year I sold a sociology book on ebay to a kid in IL for him to use in his college class. When he recieved it he said it was the wrong book and demanded a refund, opened up a ebay dispute and all. I, not thinking, quickly gave him his refund in return for the book to be sent back to me. Anyways the book never showed up and I have emailed him a few times about, but never any response. I read on a message board yesterday that I can actually press charges if I contact his local police department. I emailed him yesterday saying basically that if he doesn't pay me back the full refund (I dont want the book back because than it would just be me letting him borrow it for his class, I'm not a library) I will contact them. I'm thinking of sending him a certified letter before going to the police though, just so that I have proof that he has recieved my letter. What type of legal babbel should I throw in there? Or is there anyone that has any experience with this. By the way, I opened a case with ebay about this and they closed it saying it was my own fault.
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# ? Apr 27, 2010 16:41 |
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floramarche posted:Ohio Probate questions With the clear understanding that this is not legal advice and is presented for information purposes only, here are my off-the-cuff, no-legal-research-performed, we-do-not-have-an-attorney-client-relationship answers: 1) Am I correctly reading the order of descent as whoever is closest to the decedent has full rights and responsibilities to the estate, or would people in the next category also have a say? For example, if a child is the closest living relative, but the decedent's mother is also living, would the mother be able to contest the child's administrator request? The administrator has full rights to manage the estate, subject to liability to the other beneficiaries for mismanagement or self dealing. Yes, any potential beneficiary may object to the appointment of an administrator. The administrator typically needs to be an in-state resident, and must have sufficiently good credit to be bondable. 2) Are personal items, such as clothing, small electronics, furniture etc. considered to be part of the estate? Do these things need to be part of the inventory, or is there a dollar limit below which items need not be disclosed? All assets are considered to be part of the estate, but most inventories I have seen have grouped the household goods together without individually listing the goods. 3) When writing the inventory, is it necessary to hire an appraiser, or can the administrator assign value him/herself? I don't think you need an appraiser for anything other than real estate. 4) Would I need to file an application to be named administrator before requesting summary release, or can these be done concurrently? Yes, you must file an application first. 5) How long does the process typically take? Would it be feasible to have everything completed within a week of the family member's death? [asking as I live several thousand miles away.] Nothing gets done in the legal system in a week, and if you live thousands of miles away, you are unlikely to be named the administrator. 6) If the estate is over the $5000 limit (unlikely), how does this complicate the probate process? What are the effects on the timeline? You would have to go through full administration, which takes longer and requires more filings. Hard to predict a timeline for a specific court - all county probate courts have their own rhythm.
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# ? Apr 27, 2010 17:42 |
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floramarche posted:I may be responsible for a family member's estate in the near to mid-future. There is not and likely will not be a will. Here in Ohio, the probate courts have a "summary release from administration" for estates valued at less than $5000. My questions : Edit: drat you Grundy! Well, I wrote this out so I'm posting it anyway. I'm not an Ohio attorney, so here are my general not-legal-advice answers. Check at the bottom for the good advice, which TLDR is "call the clerk's office." quote:1) Am I correctly reading the order of descent as whoever is closest to the decedent has full rights and responsibilities to the estate, or would people in the next category also have a say? For example, if a child is the closest living relative, but the decedent's mother is also living, would the mother be able to contest the child's administrator request? Typically, states have laws that give certain family members priority when the probate court determines who should be appointed administrator of the estate. This priority is not iron-clad, generally, and anyone with an interest in the estate can object to the appointment of administrator. So, in your example, if the child is the closest living relative, the decedent's mother can certainly object to the child's appointment as administrator. Similarly, if the mother is seeking appointment, the child (or child's guardian) could object. So here's the thing for you to think about. If you become the administrator, you will owe a fiduciary duty to every living heir of the decedent, whether or not that heir will eventually inherit anything. For example, if the decedent left behind two kids, his mom, and his brother, the kids will probably take everything. But until you close out the estate and do all of the appropriate paperwork, you have to give notice to the mother and the brother. Question: if you are going to seek appointment as the administrator, do you have any problematic relationships with any other family members? quote:2) Are personal items, such as clothing, small electronics, furniture etc. considered to be part of the estate? Do these things need to be part of the inventory, or is there a dollar limit below which items need not be disclosed? Yes, these things are part of the estate, and yes they need to go on the inventory. As a general rule, however, I've seen administrators list these sorts of things as "Clothing and other personal effects - $200" and "Furniture - $250." In my experience, personal tangible property is generally reported with a low value, except for the type that I mention in #2 below. You can list them in category, rather than listing out every single shirt or pair of pants. Despite the fact that the tangible personal property is generally the least valuable part of an estate, it is one of the trickiest parts: 1. Clothing, furniture, and jewelry can all carry sentimental value, so the administrator has to be very careful when figuring out who gets what. A family member is more likely to raise a fuss over Mom's favorite necklace than they are about a $1000 checking account. So you need to be careful when figuring out what to do with this stuff. 2. If any of the furniture, artwork, jewelry, etc, is of particularly high quality, then yes you need to get an appraisal. If the furniture is antique, if the artwork is by a known artist, if the jewelry is expensive, you need to make sure you value it correctly on the inventory. quote:3) When writing the inventory, is it necessary to hire an appraiser, or can the administrator assign value him/herself? For real estate, you can often use the latest tax assessment value that the county uses when assessing real estate tax. (If the county's tax assessment value is unrealistic, which is possible in today's environment, you could get an appraisal instead.) For a car, you use Kelly bluebook values. For anything tricky, like antiques, artwork, or anything that is unique and/or sufficiently unusual, you get an appraisal. If your estate consists of ordinary personal property and a checking account, you don't need an appraiser. quote:4) Would I need to file an application to be named administrator before requesting summary release, or can these be done concurrently? I have no idea, this is an Ohio-specific question. quote:5) How long does the process typically take? Would it be feasible to have everything completed within a week of the family member's death? [asking as I live several thousand miles away.] You probably cannot get this done within a week, but this is a Ohio-specific question since you think you might be able to do the "summary release." You should ask the Ohio probate clerk in the county where your family member died. In fact, you should probably call the clerk's office and ask them your questions. In general, you cannot expect probate to take less than a week, that's not reasonable. At the very least, most probate processes require that you a) get appointed as administrator, b) provide notice of your appointment and of the decedent's death to all of the potential heirs, c) marshall the assets, and figure out valuation issues, d) file the decedent's last income tax return, e) give notice to the decedent's creditors and pay off the decedent's debts, f) once all debts are paid off, make distributions to the decedent's heirs. With a small estate, all of this is generally pretty easy, and it sounds like Ohio has a streamlined process for small estates as well, so it probably will be easy to deal with the estate. But I think it will take longer than a week, because typically you have to give notice to potential heirs, and they get thirty days (or similar) to respond before you get to move onto the next step. quote:6) If the estate is over the $5000 limit (unlikely), how does this complicate the probate process? What are the effects on the timeline? If you aren't eligible for the streamlined Ohio probate process, then you're probably looking at a timeline of at least a month, but that depends on a lot of things - whether your other family members are going to complicate matters, whether the decedent has debts you need to take care of, etc. Like I noted above, however, some of your questions are specific to Ohio's probate laws, and so you really ought to call the local clerk's office. The probate clerk in most jurisdictions is the point-of-contact with the families of dead people, and in my experience this means that the clerk's office is very very used to helping people walk through the probate process. For small estates, you don't really need an attorney to help you unless you have a complicated family. Oftentimes, with small estates, you can just ask your questions of the clerk's office and you'll be just fine. So, look up the local courthouse in the county where your family member lived before their death, and call the courthouse. Ask for the probate division, or the registrar of wills, or whatever they call it in Ohio, and then ask your questions. If you can go down to the clerk's office, they probably have pamphlets and/or other literature with instructions for family members who want to probate a small estate. If you ask really nicely, since you are out-of-town they might be willing to mail them to you (although you may have to send them a self-addressed, stamped envelope or something similar).
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# ? Apr 27, 2010 17:43 |
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I was charged with possession of marijuana paraphernalia when I was 16. I'm almost 24 now and am going to undergo a background check. Who do I contact to get a copy of my criminal record? I am getting mixed suggestions on whether or not this will show up. I live in Ohio.
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# ? Apr 28, 2010 02:01 |
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I'm not entirely sure where to ask this, but here goes- I'm Canadian, And I want to Emigrate to England, it's just been one of dreams for all my life and since I turned 18 recently I kicked things into gear. How does British citizenship law apply to people who are citizens of the "Colonies"? Does being a "Subject of the Queen" grant me a fast track or something? Thanks.
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# ? Apr 28, 2010 04:02 |
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SRQ posted:I'm not entirely sure where to ask this, but here goes- I'm not British, I just did some quick research, and my understanding is that (1) you have to move to the UK legally and remain there for 2-5 years; (2) apply for settlement in the UK to obtain "Indefinite leave to remain"; and (3) apply for naturalization after five years. http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/settlement/ I'd look into getting a job in England. Or going to school there.
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# ? Apr 28, 2010 04:30 |
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Virginia: People I've talked to IRL have given me conflicting advice on this without elaborating, but then again I don't know anyone with any legal expertise. I got pulled over for expired registration on my car. The officer who pulled me over was genial and claimed that if I appeared in court as listed on the summons, then the charge (is that the right word? I'm legal-terminology-retarded) will most likely be dropped, but I'm not sure he's an unbiased source exactly. Is it generally like the cop said - that kind of thing usually just gets dropped? Is there anything I definitely shouldn't say when I go to court? I've never had to show up in court so I have no clue how this might play out.
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# ? Apr 28, 2010 05:25 |
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Mr. Belpit posted:Virginia: In some places you have to show that your tags were current when you were pulled over, in others all you have to do is get them renewed before your court date. The clerk of court is really nice and really helpful and they'll tell you what kind of grace period you have to come to court/get fines paid and whether yours is a place that requires updated registration or proof that it already was. Regardless, they're not going to throw out the charge just for you showing up. You may still pay court costs when the judge throws it out. The clerk for traffic court will know what's required and will tell you. Don't stress yourself. It's traffic court. I got nailed once for expired tags and the cop couldn't be assed to unfold my registration (which my insurance card was folded into) so I couldn't find my card. Out of about 25 people, I was one of three wearing pants and literally the only person not wearing blue jeans. I'm not really sure what you could say to the judge besides obscenity that would cause a problem. He may not be lying in this case, but in my dealings with them, the police will totally lie about what they will and won't throw out in traffic court. Sometimes they don't actually know and sometimes they're just lying. Talk to the clerk, they're cool and they know stuff.
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# ? Apr 28, 2010 07:59 |
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SRQ posted:I'm not entirely sure where to ask this, but here goes- The answer to your specific question is: 'no, there is no benefit to being a Canadian citizen'. Same rules as all other non-EU persons. Also get better dreams.
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# ? Apr 28, 2010 10:00 |
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Thank you Solomon Grundy and entris. That cleared up a lot for me. Now I have one more question. Let's say I waive my right to administer the estate. Can the courts force me or a more distant relative to take the role, or is there a mechanism in place for a court-appointed guardian to finish the job? Or, is it possible to simply allow the state to take ownership of all the assets and not have anything at all to do with this?
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# ? Apr 28, 2010 12:08 |
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Eli Cash posted:I was charged with possession of marijuana paraphernalia when I was 16. I'm almost 24 now and am going to undergo a background check. Who do I contact to get a copy of my criminal record? I am getting mixed suggestions on whether or not this will show up. I live in Ohio. It was probably sealed when you turned 18 and expunged when you were 23. Call the court clerk for the county where you picked up the charge to find out for sure.
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# ? Apr 28, 2010 13:13 |
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SRQ posted:I'm not entirely sure where to ask this, but here goes- you should be able to get a working holiday visa if you are under 31, which will let you stay in the UK and work for 2 years. Not a "fast track" to immigration per se, but 2 years is a long time to find work/a cute girl/boy to sponsor you. http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/workingintheuk/tier5/youthmobilityscheme/eligibility/whocanapply/
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# ? Apr 28, 2010 14:36 |
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floramarche posted:Thank you Solomon Grundy and entris. That cleared up a lot for me. Well, you do not have to serve as administrator if you do not want to. The courts cannot force anyone to serve as administrator. What usually happens, with estates that are not probated, is that the decedent's creditors will sometimes get themselves appointed so that they can collect on the decedent's death. But this doesn't happen with small debts, because creditors can't be bothered to do that, and it probably wouldn't happen with your family member's estate. The state will not simply take ownership of the assets if nobody does anything, so far as I know. The only time that the state "takes ownership" of a decedent's estate is when the administrator determines that the decedent has no living heirs at all, including distant cousins, and then the probate rules generally have some sort of escheat statute. States generally have procedures whereby someone can get themselves appointed as administrator, but I've never heard of a court proactively selecting an administrator for an estate, especially if family members are alive. Here's the thing. If no one probates your family member's estate, then technically any assets in his/her estate remain in his/her estate, and nobody should be taking them. So, if nobody probated and the family just divided up the assets, that would technically be illegal. This happens all the time with small estates, however, because a lot of people are completely ignorant of the existence of probate. In these cases, the biggest problem is that creditors will come looking for the decedent, find out that the decedent's assets have been subdivided amongst family members, and then go after family members to collect on the decedent's debts. The other issue that you run into, if nobody probates the estate, is that the bank is not supposed to disburse any assets from the decedent's accounts to anyone who isn't already on the account as a joint owner with the decedent. Any real estate that the decedent owned cannot be sold, same with the car. The title would get all screwy. Basically, if no one probates, the assets don't move anywhere, at least not legally. Was the decedent's bank accounts jointly titled, do you know? Did the decedent own any real estate, a car, anything with a title to it? Edit: if you don't want to do anything with the estate, you don't have to. But don't expect to receive anything from the estate, and don't expect the estate assets to go to anyone else. If you don't care about the assets in the estate, you can just walk away. Of course, if you do, someone else in your family may decide to serve. What's your hesitation with serving (aside from being out-of-town)? Do you mind if someone else in your family serves as administrator? entris fucked around with this message at 21:22 on Apr 28, 2010 |
# ? Apr 28, 2010 21:20 |
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So I hired the best lawyer I could for my probation violation. As you might remember they sent me a notice that they have an arrest warrant in the mail. My lawyer has given me some papers to take to the court tomorrow to get me in front of the judge to plead not guilty on my violation and get a hearing set. He said he talked to them and that they will release the arrest warrant once I do this. Does that sound right? It sounds to me like they just want me to show up to the court building so they can arrest me...
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# ? Apr 28, 2010 21:35 |
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uG posted:So I hired the best lawyer I could for my probation violation. As you might remember they sent me a notice that they have an arrest warrant in the mail. My lawyer has given me some papers to take to the court tomorrow to get me in front of the judge to plead not guilty on my violation and get a hearing set. He said he talked to them and that they will release the arrest warrant once I do this. Does that sound right? It sounds to me like they just want me to show up to the court building so they can arrest me... Well, you gotta trust your lawyer man. If you are confused about this, if you don't understand these papers that he wants you to take to the court, then call him up and ask him for clarification. If the police want to arrest you, they will arrest you, either at your house or at the court building. They don't need to engage in some round-about scheme to get you to come down to the courthouse just so they can arrest you. But you have a lawyer, trust him.
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# ? Apr 28, 2010 22:00 |
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uG posted:So I hired the best lawyer I could for my probation violation. As you might remember they sent me a notice that they have an arrest warrant in the mail. My lawyer has given me some papers to take to the court tomorrow to get me in front of the judge to plead not guilty on my violation and get a hearing set. He said he talked to them and that they will release the arrest warrant once I do this. Does that sound right? It sounds to me like they just want me to show up to the court building so they can arrest me... Dude, if you don't trust your lawyer, why are you paying him?
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# ? Apr 28, 2010 22:15 |
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UK law, asking purely out of interest. A question that is often asked, often answered (often contradicting others), but never cited. The question itself: If someone in a shop accidentally breaks an item that was on display, do they have to pay for it? I assume it's a civil matter and not criminal, since there would be no mens rea, being that it's an accident. If you are able to decisively answer this question, is there any chance you could back it up? Like I said before, I never see anyone provide a source for their answer and I see people say both yes and no so I don't know which is right. 7 years ago my A-level law teacher said no, 6 months ago the programme Watchdog said yes.
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# ? Apr 28, 2010 22:20 |
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Anjow posted:UK law, asking purely out of interest. A question that is often asked, often answered (often contradicting others), but never cited. The question itself: Yes, you've caused damage to property belonging to someone else. The tort is negligence. There's no special reason why a shop wouldn't be afforded the same protection under the law as a person. There are several reasons why it doesn't happen much but mainly it's because the amounts are often so small they simply aren't worth pursuing. e: this isn't back-up able because nobody's been foolish enough to try to argue in court that they should be able to escape responsibility for causing damage 'because it's a shop'. Alchenar fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Apr 28, 2010 |
# ? Apr 28, 2010 22:31 |
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Incredulous Red posted:Dude, if you don't trust your lawyer, why are you paying him?
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# ? Apr 29, 2010 00:54 |
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floramarche posted:Thank you Solomon Grundy and entris. That cleared up a lot for me. Most Ohio probate courts will appoint a local probate lawyer to act as the adminstrator under these kind of circumstances. It is often a losing proposition for the lawyer, but they/we do it to keep the goodwill of the probate court. But if nobody seeks to open the estate, the court will never know to appoint someone.
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# ? Apr 29, 2010 01:25 |
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uG posted:So I hired the best lawyer I could for my probation violation. As you might remember they sent me a notice that they have an arrest warrant in the mail. My lawyer has given me some papers to take to the court tomorrow to get me in front of the judge to plead not guilty on my violation and get a hearing set. He said he talked to them and that they will release the arrest warrant once I do this. Does that sound right? It sounds to me like they just want me to show up to the court building so they can arrest me... The procedures and rules for how stuff like this works are extremely localized. You're 1000+ miles and several states from me, and I couldn't even tell you how they do it 25 miles from me in the next county. Sorry. But thanks for the (backhanded) PD love...
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# ? Apr 29, 2010 02:26 |
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uG posted:Why would I trust a lawyer? I honestly trust your guy's advice way more, which is why I retained a lawyer in the first place. So your position is perhaps summed up this: quote:I don't trust a lawyer I can see and have paid, I trust a bunch of lawyers I've never met and who owe me no ethical duty. It is a fair position to be skeptical of the professionals you hire. However I think any issues of trust should be worked out with that professional, rather than inviting a group of outsiders with limited knowledge to second guess their judgment.
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# ? Apr 29, 2010 02:28 |
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entris posted:So, if nobody probated and the family just divided up the assets, that would technically be illegal. This happens all the time with small estates, however, because a lot of people are completely ignorant of the existence of probate. In these cases, the biggest problem is that creditors will come looking for the decedent, find out that the decedent's assets have been subdivided amongst family members, and then go after family members to collect on the decedent's debts. Very interesting. There is probably unsecured debt, though I don't know for certain. I wonder how likely it is that any creditor would learn the assets had been dispersed. entris posted:If you don't care about the assets in the estate, you can just walk away. Of course, if you do, someone else in your family may decide to serve. Do you mind if someone else in your family serves as administrator? The non-personal property assets are a vehicle worth at most $1000 and a bank account with even less money. The vehicle is in her name only. I may be listed on the bank account in some fashion - not as a joint account holder, but something along the lines of "payable on death" designee. I wouldn't mind at all - would in fact be grateful - if someone else stepped up to do this, but the trouble is that this person has been estranged from all other family members, except her very ill mother, for well over a decade. It's hard to imagine anyone volunteering to go through this hassle for her, when everyone else has busy lives and no liking for the person to begin with. If anyone did agree to do it, I would happily waive all claims to the estate. entris posted:What's your hesitation with serving (aside from being out-of-town)? Solomon Grundy posted:Most Ohio probate courts will appoint a local probate lawyer to act as the adminstrator under these kind of circumstances[...]But if nobody seeks to open the estate, the court will never know to appoint someone. Is it possible to formally open the estate with the understanding that an administrator will be appointed? My main concern is that she is a renter, and something will have to be done with all her things very soon after her demise. What that something is, I don't care. I just want to do everything that must be done by the book, with as little inconvenience and as much speed as possible. And the less I have to be involved, the better. I really appreciate the two of you taking the time to help me understand this. I feel much better now I have a clearer view of the process.
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# ? Apr 29, 2010 11:41 |
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Try calling the bank where she had her account, and see if you are the transfer on death beneficiary. If you are, you can probably avoid probate on that. You may have trouble getting them to talk to you since you aren't the administrator of the estate. If no one removed her personal effects from her apartment, or whatever, eventually the landlord would just toss it all away as abandoned property or something, I imagine. S/he would probably sell anything of value. I'm not saying it's legal for the landlord to do this immediately but if you were to leave everything in the apartment, then eventually the landlord would have a right (probably) to deal with the stuff. You probably won't be able to sell the car because typically only an administrator can pass good title. But you could let the car sit there, and call in a report to the police about an abandoned vehicle. Someone will tow it eventually.
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# ? Apr 29, 2010 12:33 |
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Hello - hope someone can help me with this... I am divorced and have joint custody with my ex of our 12 year old son - we'll call him Thomas. I am the custodial parent. Our divorce decree specifies that my ex gets visitation with our son every on the first, third and fifth weekend of each month, on Wednesday evenings, and holidays/birthdays switching off each year. Pretty typical, really. Up until last year, I lived 2.5 hours away from my ex. He only came to pick up Thomas about once every 2 -3 months for a visit because he felt it was too far for him to travel more often than that. He also took Thomas for the summers. The ex rarely ever picked up Thomas for his holiday visits, however. So our son would see his father for the summer and maybe 4-6 weekends out of each year. Now we have moved closer and my ex lives only 40 or so minutes away. While he still does not pick up Thomas for holidays and Wednesday visits, he has tried to pick him up every other weekend (though only for one night of the weekend instead of both nights). It has been a major adjustment for Thomas to spend so much time with his dad...and he hates it. I have tried to encourage him to enjoy his time with his dad - make the best of it - try to have a good relationship with his father. (I have no relationship with my dad and regret it...) I had really hoped that they would bond more (my son needs more male influence). But every other weekend, when it comes time for my ex to pick Thomas up, it is a battle. I've tried talking to Thomas about why he doesn't like going over there...and what it all really boils down to is that he just doesn't like his dad. Their personalities clash. He feels uncomfortable around their house (my ex is married with another child now). He gave me some specifics (like his dad drinking too much) but I feel they were exaggerated - I know my ex pretty well. I have even busted him lying to his dad about already having plans or being sick so he can get out of going. I've suggested to my ex that they go get counseling, but my ex won't have it - it's not manly to need counseling. So the situation just gets worse as my ex demands that our son go for his weekend visits and Thomas just hates him more and more with each visit. It has started to become painful to "force" Thomas to visit his dad when he is so adamant about not going. Since I don't think I can MAKE him like his father (I have tried, with no progress made), I feel like I should be standing up for his right to choose. What are the chances of me getting the divorce agreement to be changed where my son has the choice of whether he wants to go or not? I really think if it wasn't FORCED on him, he would be interested in going more often, and the tension between them would lessen. The ex will not agree to let our son make this choice - he's convinced that he can eventually make our son like him if he just keeps forcing him to go for his visits, but it's only getting worse. I worry the damage will be lifelong if something isn't done soon. Or should I just stick my nose out of their business and let them work it out? I've already tried to do this as much as I can, but it gets harder and harder. Edit: Sorry - forgot to mention I'm in Texas. GiveMeABreak fucked around with this message at 00:18 on Apr 30, 2010 |
# ? Apr 30, 2010 00:13 |
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edit: nevermind
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# ? Apr 30, 2010 00:28 |
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joat mon posted:It was probably sealed when you turned 18 and expunged when you were 23. I did just this and gently caress. The lady at the juvenile court looked my record up and told me over the phone my charges and that they were still open to be viewed(which I thought was weird, confidentiality-wise). I'm going there Monday morning to fill out an expungement application. Funny thing is my attorney told me a year ago that these charges weren't accessible and was surprised that I told him otherwise today.
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# ? Apr 30, 2010 02:20 |
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Eli Cash posted:I did just this and gently caress. The lady at the juvenile court looked my record up and told me over the phone my charges and that they were still open to be viewed(which I thought was weird, confidentiality-wise). I'm going there Monday morning to fill out an expungement application. Funny thing is my attorney told me a year ago that these charges weren't accessible and was surprised that I told him otherwise today. Why are you having a background check? There are some agencies that can view your record regardless of it being expunged or sealed.
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# ? Apr 30, 2010 02:24 |
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I got accepted to pharmacy school, so the state board of pharmacy for my intern license would be it if not additional methods. I'm pretty sure I'm hosed, though I'm sure they have accepted at least one person with a record. I did read, however, that expunging juvenile records (as opposed to adult records) erases them completely. Christ, the internet has been useless in finding info on this and the law confuses me.
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# ? Apr 30, 2010 02:46 |
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Eli Cash posted:I got accepted to pharmacy school, so the state board of pharmacy for my intern license would be it if not additional methods. I'm pretty sure I'm hosed, though I'm sure they have accepted at least one person with a record. I did read, however, that expunging juvenile records (as opposed to adult records) erases them completely. Christ, the internet has been useless in finding info on this and the law confuses me. Usually expunging a record means that they won't show up on external record checks, the police and the courts will still be able to see it.
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# ? Apr 30, 2010 03:05 |
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GiveMeABreak posted:What are the chances of me getting the divorce agreement to be changed where my son has the choice of whether he wants to go or not? I really think if it wasn't FORCED on him, he would be interested in going more often, and the tension between them would lessen. Not a Texas lawyer, but in my experience courts generally frown upon letting kids decide whether or not they want to do visitation. Your son is supposed to see his dad because it's good for him. Would you "force" him to brush his teeth if he didn't want to? Would you "force" him to go to his doctor's appointments if he didn't want to?
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# ? Apr 30, 2010 15:05 |
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GiveMeABreak posted:Or should I just stick my nose out of their business and let them work it out? I've already tried to do this as much as I can, but it gets harder and harder. Sorry, which one of you is the parent, you or your son? Twelve year old boys are supposed to have conflicts with their fathers. It's part of their natural development.
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# ? Apr 30, 2010 16:55 |
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# ? May 15, 2024 02:57 |
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Incredulous Red posted:Sorry, which one of you is the parent, you or your son? Tell that to Laius.
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# ? Apr 30, 2010 18:49 |