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KevinCow posted:I've had a corporate job for about a month now, and I have just one question for those of you who have been doing it for years: How have you not shot yourself yet? I can already feel it draining my soul away. All in all, you're just another brick in the wall.
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Apr 28, 2010 21:56
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quote:Not being allowed to take vacations is outright theft. Report it to your state labor department, or gently caress it and organize. Eight hour day and five day week my rear end. Reporting it's about all you can do. You can't organize if everyone is so loving stupid and/or brainwashed that they think this is how it should be. My project in France is a real eye-opener in the sense that I got to see the enormous differences in quality-of-life between the workers for our company's overseas divisions versus the ones here. Even more, though, it was an eye-opener in watching my co-workers make fun of the French advantages. They spent dinner making fun of the vacation schedules, the long lunch breaks, the proper hours, etc. Not a single word uttered by anyone along the lines of "hey, why the gently caress don't we get any of this poo poo?" (I keep my mouth shut since I am far and away the minority in my viewpoints.) In short, similar pay-scales (we get slightly more than they do), we have vastly inferior benefits and longer hours, ridiculously shorter vacation schedules, and somehow in the eyes of my co-workers, the French are the laughable ones? To put it another way: If I worked my entire career here, as long as I lived, I would never reach the vacation-accrual granted to entry-level employees at our french sites. They start at 7 weeks, apparently, and our maximum after 30 years is 6 weeks. We start with 3 weeks and gain another week every decade. Sundae fucked around with this message at 21:59 on Apr 28, 2010 |
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Apr 28, 2010 21:57
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Sundae posted:We start with 3 weeks and gain another week every decade. I actually got that fourth week at 10 years, it was pretty sweet. Until I realized I had worked there for 10 loving years to get an extra goddamn week of vacation.
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Apr 28, 2010 22:03
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TheAmbassador posted:I love how so many jobs expect you to be 100% gung ho in it for the company, but they'll lay your rear end off the second it becomes profitable. In a previous job, I told my boss that I would never be available to work weekends as I needed to spend time with my wife and son. Some time later he tried to get me to work evenings and weekends :  So Stoatbringer, I know that you obviously have strong loyalty to your family, and I respect that. Okay, thanks... As you have such a loyal personality I think it's reasonable to expect you to show a similar level of loyalty to the company, which is why I'm asking you to put extra time in to get <insane, impossible idea> finished.
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Apr 28, 2010 22:34
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Sundae posted:If I worked my entire career here, as long as I lived, I would never reach the vacation-accrual granted to entry-level employees at our french sites. They start at 7 weeks, apparently, and our maximum after 30 years is 6 weeks. We start with 3 weeks and gain another week every decade. We don't get sick days though. None. At all. If we're out sick it either comes out of saved vacation time, or we don't get paid. I saved up all my vacation time my first year, so I could plan a real vacation for once. It was a good plan. Then I ended up getting the drat swine flu and was out for a week, which used up all of my saved vacation time plus left me with a couple days unpaid on top of that. That was in Spring. I managed to save up all of my vacation time from then on and had enough to take two whole paid days off for my Honeymoon in early November. Which put me back to zero, of course. The only times in the past decade that I've had longer than a four-day weekend off work were when I was unemployed. Which somehow feels like the opposite of being on vacation. I just checked my pay stub, I'm back up to 16.5 whole hours of vacation time saved up. That's two days and thirty minutes of pure vacation time, and it only took me around 6 months to save it up. Yee haw. USA! USA! US 
Robot Hobo fucked around with this message at 23:12 on Apr 28, 2010 |
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Apr 28, 2010 22:35
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Stoatbringer posted:In a previous job, I told my boss that I would never be available to work weekends as I needed to spend time with my wife and son. Sure boss! No problem! **Go back to desk, update resume, look for jobs**
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Apr 28, 2010 22:35
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Baddog posted:I actually got that fourth week at 10 years, it was pretty sweet. Sweet loving Jesus Horacia Christ! They give me 20 hours on Jan 1st, another 20 hours on June 1st and I earn 6.2 hours every other week. Next year my accrual rate goes up to 7.5 hours every two weeks. Sure, it only took me 8 years to get to that point. 
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Apr 28, 2010 22:44
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All this talk about vacation time reminded me to tell you all about how my friend got fired from his job. He worked at a big insurance company. Apparently they had three different systems that tracked vacation/pto and none of them liked each other. Some how, despite what he was told and allowed to take, he went negative on his vaca/pto. Once his manager found out, Friend's pay was deducted the errant amount of hours to make up for the mistake. Friend soon after got the transfer to the different department that he was working on getting for a good 6 months. As soon as the transfer went through, his new manager let him go because of the error with the vaca/pto, even though it was a) not really his fault b)resolved and c)happened under a different department. He was not able to get unemployment either.
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Apr 28, 2010 23:29
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Ah buddy of mine got canned and my office fought his unemployment on the grounds that he was paid out .25 hours of PTO upon his termination. That 2 dollar some odd amount constituted a bonus/severance package.
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Apr 28, 2010 23:40
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Sundae posted:Even more, though, it was an eye-opener in watching my co-workers make fun of the French advantages. This loving blows my mind. "Haha, those frenchie assholes get double our vacation time, long lunches and normal hours for slightly less pay* - what a bunch of suckers!" Is this based on some stupid belief that the rewards are somehow better if you have to work harder for them or what? loving christ. *I'm guessing this difference is due more to local costs of living or USD:EURO currency conversions more than anything else.
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Apr 28, 2010 23:42
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Solkanar512 posted:
I often find that this attitude is born from a place of "AMERICA IS NUMBER ONE AND IF YOU DON'T THINK SO, gently caress YOU!" rather than any real thought about the question at hand.
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Apr 28, 2010 23:48
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Maker Of Shoes posted:Ah buddy of mine got canned and my office fought his unemployment on the grounds that he was paid out .25 hours of PTO upon his termination. That 2 dollar some odd amount constituted a bonus/severance package. Here in Washington, unused PTO has to be added to the last paycheck, though companies can withhold it if it was previously agreed that one would give two weeks notice before leaving. Otherwise, it's lumped into the last check, no questions asked. I cannot believe that this isn't the case everywhere else.
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Apr 28, 2010 23:51
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Dead Cow posted:All this talk about vacation time reminded me to tell you all about how my friend got fired from his job... When I worked at Apple as a tech, in two years I went through four supervisors. Three good, and then as you would guess the last was the bad one. My Aunt, who was a pretty close part of the family, died. I asked for the day off to go to her funeral. I put in the request, my supervisor approved it, and I went. All was good. Nearly a month later I got called into a one-on-one with this supervisor. She pointed out now that bereavement leave only covered immediate family. I pointed out that the guidelines didn't actually state what the limit was regarding funeral leave. I had submitted it for her approval with all of this information very clearly stated, and she could have questioned or denied it at any time. I gave her all of the facts, and she chose to approve it. Her stance was that even though she reviewed and approved it herself, that didn't mean it was ok. I told her to just deduct it from my vacation time, or not pay me for the day. After all, no harm had been done. She refused, and RETROACTIVELY marked me down as a no-call/no-show for the day, because technically I had not come in or called on that day to explain why I wasn't there. This was an offense that they could fire you for on-the-spot, on the first offense. She didn't fire me then. She waited a month or two and then fired me over a combination of my poor attendance (spotless record before that) and not meeting my sales quotas. They were expressly forbidden from firing anyone over sales quotas, since we weren't actually supposed to have them on the goddamn tech support floor, but she used my poor attendance as a loophole, referring to my poor sales as "insubordination." (her explanation was that I didn't obey when she told me to sell more) Robot Hobo fucked around with this message at 23:58 on Apr 28, 2010 |
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Apr 28, 2010 23:55
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Solkanar512 posted:Here in Washington, unused PTO has to be added to the last paycheck, though companies can withhold it if it was previously agreed that one would give two weeks notice before leaving. Otherwise, it's lumped into the last check, no questions asked. I cannot believe that this isn't the case everywhere else. Same here but according to DES a severance package disqualifies you for unemployment.
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Apr 29, 2010 00:03
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Robot Hobo posted:She waited a month or two and then fired me over a combination of my poor attendance (spotless record before that) and not meeting my sales quotas. They were expressly forbidden from firing anyone over sales quotas, since we weren't actually supposed to have them on the goddamn tech support floor, but she used my poor attendance as a loophole, referring to my poor sales as "insubordination." (her explanation was that I didn't obey when she told me to sell more) I love this poo poo. It's like watching honest to god 1984-style double think in action. If I put my mind in a car going a hundred miles an hour and slammed it into a telephone pole I could still never wrap it around how hosed up you must be to pull slimy, underhanded poo poo like this and still think you are a decent human being deserving anything other than a short, merciful death for the betterment of society.
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Apr 29, 2010 00:27
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SumYungGui posted:I love this poo poo. It's like watching honest to god 1984-style double think in action. If I put my mind in a car going a hundred miles an hour and slammed it into a telephone pole I could still never wrap it around how hosed up you must be to pull slimy, underhanded poo poo like this and still think you are a decent human being deserving anything other than a short, merciful death for the betterment of society. I just wonder if the people who do these things are truly evil, or merely stupid and incompetent.
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Apr 29, 2010 00:33
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Wow. I almost feel guilty about getting five weeks vacation on top of something like three or four weeks of sick time annually. Almost. However, with all the stories of inefficient and incompetent managers, I feel compelled to share the story of the first (and thusfar, only) time I was fired. I was a new hire and still in training as a part-time employee. I had two managers - one male and one female. To this day, I couldn't tell you how they were different, aside from their gender. At the end of week 2, my female boss tells me that my schedule for the coming week is Monday and Tuesday. Fine - I was working on my undergraduate degree at the time, so I didn't want a ton of hours. At the end of that Tuesday, the male boss calls us in to say that another employee had to fly across the country to attend to his sick son. They asked for a volunteer to take over his shift the next day, and I said I could take it. Everyone is happy. And at the end of that Wednesday, my female boss tells me that I'm on the schedule for Thursday as well. I tell her, in front of another employee (Aaron), that I have an rear end-ton of work to do and really had no idea I was supposed to work that day. Fortunately, the other employee chimes right in. "I need the hours! Let me take his shift!" Bosslady is happy, says we're good to go, and I think everything is fine. I spend Thursday buried in the library working on a project, and this was before cell phones were widely used amongst college students, so there was no way to get a hold of me. I got back to my dorm well after midnight and had about a dozen voicemails from male boss. Apparently he was pissed that I pulled a no-call/no-show! I called and managed to catch him before he left. He was fuming, telling me what a douche I am, etc. I get all  on him as I explain that bosslady had not only heard me switch my shift with Aaron, but she agreed to it and said we were all good. I told him that Aaron was working in my place tonight."Then where is your Shift Change form? And besides, Aaron never came in!" "gently caress..." Yup. Bosslady, who heard the conversation and approved us changing shifts a) never told the male boss and b) never informed me that I had to fill out any paperwork. And apparently Aaron had decided that, because no forms were filed, he would take the night off. Bosslady called the next day, told me that I needed to fill out the form (a form no one had mentioned prior to this), and fired me. I've fortunately been very, very lucky when it comes to competent managers. I've only had two horrible experiences. One was a withered old bat who had no interest in training me as she was only about six months away from retirement. The other was a loving psychopath who ended up punching me... and I didn't go to HR and try to get her fired. Ah, employment in higher education. It's an adventure.
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Apr 29, 2010 00:36
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Robot Hobo posted:She waited a month or two and then fired me over a combination of my poor attendance (spotless record before that) and not meeting my sales quotas. They were expressly forbidden from firing anyone over sales quotas, since we weren't actually supposed to have them on the goddamn tech support floor, but she used my poor attendance as a loophole, referring to my poor sales as "insubordination." (her explanation was that I didn't obey when she told me to sell more) At my company, "insubordination" can mean "having a different opinion from the CEO on any topic, even if he outright asks you for your opinion." I have seen a guy get fired for this.
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Apr 29, 2010 00:39
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edit is not quote
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Apr 29, 2010 00:40
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This talk of vacation time screw over reminds me of my first year at the Graphic Design & Printing company with the micromanaging President I mentioned earlier in the thread. See, between Christmas and New Year, the company shut down. I learn this and think "YAY!!! A week and a half or so off, no questions asked!" At the time, funds were really tight for my husband and I, and I literally depended on getting my set salary paycheck every two weeks, the exact amount. I had 1 week paid vacation and a set number of sick days (don't remember the number). I used my week vacation over my birthday week, and I ended up using all my sick time that year. Come my pay between Christmas & New Year (direct deposit), I had been deducted that entire week from my pay, resulting in using our Christmas money to pay the rent. I was livid. Turned out that in order to be paid for the days the company volutarily shut itself down, I had to have that exact amount of vacation and/or sick time. No one told me that. Still doesn't make sense to me, as every job I had after that hellhole shut down over the Christmas Break AND paid us in full for that time.
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Apr 29, 2010 00:42
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On project management. We only have one project manager on a project at any given time; a good thing if the project manager didn't get swapped out at least 3 times in the life of the project. In ways the PM is a glorified secretary, mostly copypasting already formatted specs from various departments and nagging people about due dates, but they're also the direct link to senior management, wrangle various budgets, and keep politics and egos in check. Useful! They're managers without direct reports -- I don't envy them. They also have to ensure all of the last minute changes passed down from senior management don't totally gently caress up the entire project. Below the project manager the larger departments have a middle manager business analyst. The BA gathers specs from the smaller departments' SMEs and groups them all together to pass up to the PM or to read them out loud at SMEs have been working for the company between 3 and 5 years or 15+ years. They are front line coders, processors, reps etc that are either bright and upcoming and will probably be promoted out by the end of the project, or will never be promoted because they can't or won't do anything beyond acceptable performance but know the most due to attrition alone. The occasional competent SME will have to write all specs themselves. They'll also realize some BAs jealously guard their position from the dangers of competence. They do this by stripping out all names in all email chains between departments so that SMEs under different BAs won't be able to talk directly to each other, creating life affirming busy work for the BA but generally loving up the entire project. The best members of a project chuck all of the bureaucracy out of the window when they recognize they're dealing with capable adults. But that also strips out all accountability when someone does make a mistake. Whoops. Entire project is hosed up and now no one's to blame. WHY THIS IS SOUL SUCKING I spend 50+ hours a week within this structure and I know it sucks and I struggle against it just to be good at my job but I also know it well enough to understand the logic that makes the worst parts necessary. That logic is thus: If my job depends on other people, my job is to guard myself as best as I can against stupidity. Stupid people are inevitable and my entire career rests on navigating true through the sea of stupid. Everything else I do is just raises and bonuses (as if anyone got those anymore).
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Apr 29, 2010 01:03
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Lucky me, the Australian government makes companies give every part or full timer worker 4 weeks annual leave as standard. I generally can't complain, the people above me are pretty awesome. Their generally idea is it's a give and take relationship, I do overtime/weekends when poo poo goes down and they let me take 1/2 an hour to an hour here or there for personal errands every now and then. Probably my only complaint is that I'll get told to change how I do something, then 4 weeks later have the people who told me to change it come back crying that nothing makes sense anymore because it's changed.
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Apr 29, 2010 01:05
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~International projects~ Beware if your boss walks up to you and gleefully tells you that there's an ~amazing~ opportunity for an international project and they're short on staffing, because in the artificially lighted office environment you tend to forget that there are such things as time zones in the outside world. I was staffed on one such Amazing International Project over the summer to work with the Hong Kong and New York offices. The wonders of time zone meant that, as an intermediary, I could not leave the office during any time of the day. I set up a new record for the interns by staying in the office for two and half days. Nearly 60 hours without stepping outside the building even once. I was forced, for the first time, to use the shower in the office building (yes, we have those...). I had to borrow my friend's extra blouse so I could pretend to look "fresh" on the third day. By the time we finished the book, my desk was stacked with coffee cups and a bunch of dictionaries that I used as a makeshift pillow (I couldn't sleep for longer than 30min intervals either, due to the time-sensitivity of certain tasks.) What did I get for my hard work? "Good job socialism you can go home but it would be just fab if you can come back later today and help us catch up on the..." Of course I went home, died for 4 hours, pulled a Lazarus and trucked on for another night. 
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Apr 29, 2010 01:44
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I like my job. I like the people I work with. I really do. But today I got pulled in on a meeting where I got to listen to a group of people debate for ten minutes on whether to use "part" or "product" for a block in a flowchart. Anyone who cares enough about such a topic to debate it for ten minutes straight should be locked in a padded cell, having the conversation with their imaginary friend, Colonel Beauregard. Besides, the correct answer is "part/product"  .
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Apr 29, 2010 02:16
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Rudager posted:Probably my only complaint is that I'll get told to change how I do something, then 4 weeks later have the people who told me to change it come back crying that nothing makes sense anymore because it's changed. Oh wait actually, one other thing we do a weekly profit/loss and alot of it is based on the numbers I keep for production and sales. Everytime the profit/loss has seemed wrong (which is basically every week) they go through all my work for the previous week with a fine tooth comb because "Oh it HAS to be in Rudager's numbers somewhere?!" and everytime they've never found a thing wrong with my figures, they only ever find the problem when they start reviewing their own work for the previous week regarding wages or stock purchase.
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Apr 29, 2010 03:15
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Sundae posted:My company took the "FISH" program and tried to implement it to raise employee productivity. It's stupid poo poo in the first place, but here's info... I've seen that loving FISH! video at least ten times in various places because apparently it's such a mindblowing productivity booster. Every time I'm near the actual Pike Place Fish Market it reminds me of that video and makes me angry about all the time wasted on it. The Fish video alone is something like $800 which just shows I'm in the wrong business. I should spend the $50 it would take to borrow someone's camcorder and go film someone else working and come up with some incredibly obvious and meaningless "philosophies" then charge up the rear end for it.
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Apr 29, 2010 03:17
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Daddyo posted:woohoo. I love the corporate world. I love being at the top of my "pay scale" so I haven't gotten a raise in 3 years. I love being on call 24/7 and getting paid $2.50/hr to come in on the weekends to fix poo poo for idiots. I love being pushed into Six Sigma project management so I can tack on another bullshit certificate to my resume. If you were really brought in on weekends after working 45-55 hours a week (varies by state iirc) you can sue them into the ground and get damages + the time and half you are owed for violating a variety of labor laws. You'll probably lose your job for suing the company but honestly being unemployed with backpay sounds better than your current situation. CONTENT: I've only ever been an intern in the corporate world but 4 hour meetings that resolved maybe 1 or 2 issues made me goddamn sure that I was getting a science degree.
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Apr 29, 2010 04:45
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Solkanar512 posted:This loving blows my mind. Yes. I've heard from a few people talking about European work schedules with the same tone you talk about someone raping a dog. "Can you belive those lazy fuckers? They don't work 45+ hours a week, they take vacation a lot, and they give generous sick time." Usually this is from someone who had to minimize solitaire when you walk into their office. I was treated like a pariah from a group because I said I'd love to have a shorter work week, and I'd even take a paycut for it. What really gets me is the bullshit the place I work at will do to avoid treating most employees like real people. A friend of mine in a department near me was taking her maternity leave, which is actually just you not working for a couple of months, and then coming back. She had a semi-complicated pregnancy, so a couple of us asked HR if we could donate our Sick/vacation time to her. We were told its too difficult. Apparently opening our time keeping software, subtracting 8 hours from my PTO and adding 8 to hers was far more difficult then I ever imagined. The thing that makes me sad is how our operations and IT department is generally treated like poo poo from corporate, for pretty much no reason. Our corporate office is a holding company for 10 other companies, and the sub-companies are pretty much ran however they want. Most of them realized sometime ago that you have to treat people right if you want them to stick around. For instance, a couple of years ago at the last Christmas party that I went to, was in a lovely restaurant 15 miles outside of town. We have a crappy meal, and then we get prizes that are handed out during a bingo game. All the prizes were free poo poo the vendors send in, or used office equipment. Yes, the golf divot repair tool that Juniper sent us is a fantastic prize. Also, the prizes can be won by an employee's guest, which means its actually possible to have a christmas giveaway at work and get nothing, while the CIO's wife wins a digital camera. Meanwhile, one of my coworkers goes to his wife's party at one of subcompanies in town, and they have a fantastic party downtown, gifts range from nice to goddamn, and they have a open bar. I got a lovely Chinese MP3 player that I've never taken out of its packaging. Also, I'm close to being capped on my vacation because we are busy enough that I can't find a good time to take off more then one day every now and then. However, according to the "Fight stress in the workplace" flyers that are in the bathroom, I should be taking some me time, as I'd hate to burn out. That went a lot longer then planned.
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Apr 29, 2010 06:34
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Robot Hobo posted:I've been in charge of I.T., critical data processing, and a dozen other duties at my company for two years now. I earn 5 days of vacation time per year. If I'm here for five years the good stuff kicks in, because then I start earning... 7 days of vacation time per year. Woo. That's horrendous. I live in the US, work as a part-time monkey at a Sears store, and we get 50 hours of vacation per year. I was born in the UK. I can't even think of a reason outside of my immediate family to stay here.
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Apr 29, 2010 06:59
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nac posted:That's horrendous. I live in the US, work as a part-time monkey at a Sears store, and we get 50 hours of vacation per year. I was born in the UK. I can't even think of a reason outside of my immediate family to stay here. What's up Sears buddy, I got $300 for a whole year of vacation pay for my 3 weeks off that I'm just finishing. That's $300 over a whole year!  I'm poor but I guess I'm just happy they let me have three weeks off in a row.
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Apr 29, 2010 07:19
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CitizenKain posted:
Pretty much every corporation sees the IT dept are a massive money hole, always costing money but generating a profit. I mean it's not like those nerds make tools that double the effeciency of the sales staff or anything, they just sit back collecting a paycheck and playing video games on the internet.
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Apr 29, 2010 07:26
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The anecdotes in this thread is why I generally seek employment in startups.
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Apr 29, 2010 07:34
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I worked for a company that worked primarily for major sport teams. I scheduled two weeks in advance four days of vacation to visit my folks in Portland. The Tuesday before I leave, they pull me into the conference room and inform me I'm being laid off. I wasn't too broken up about it. i've seen thing coming for quite a while. I ask them about my vacation. They'd completely forgotten about the days off I scheduled. A couple days into my vacation they let me know that I won't be getting that vacation pay, nor any of the rest of the 80 hours I had accrued. Company policy. Last year a brand new kind of timeoff was invented for the vice president: funeral time off
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Apr 29, 2010 08:42
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RobotEmpire posted:The anecdotes in this thread is why I generally seek employment in startups. The Anecdotes in this thread are why I'm seriously perusing a job in government someplace. I want to be the guy who puts in his 40 hours every week to the second, cannot be fired without generating my bodyweight in paperwork, and those delicious government employee benefits. That or a blue collar union job as a welder/pipe fitter. Paid by the hour, paid retarded overtime, awesome benefits, and I probably won't get maimed while working! Getting paid $75 an hour to melt steel tubes together sounds pretty good to me. trollstormur posted:I worked for a company that worked primarily for major sport teams. I scheduled two weeks in advance four days of vacation to visit my folks in Portland. The Tuesday before I leave, they pull me into the conference room and inform me I'm being laid off. I wasn't too broken up about it. i've seen thing coming for quite a while. I ask them about my vacation. They'd completely forgotten about the days off I scheduled. A couple days into my vacation they let me know that I won't be getting that vacation pay, nor any of the rest of the 80 hours I had accrued. Company policy. Please tell me you either took them to small claims over it, or you stole enough office supplies/equipment to make up for those 80 hours of pay. Because unless you're working in China, that's theft.
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Apr 29, 2010 09:45
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This thread makes me so glad that I work for a business where I can just strap myself into a box truck and go deliver food when poo poo gets boring.
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Apr 29, 2010 10:56
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I once got sacked from a job for a startup IT company because I wasn't 'showing enough dedication'. I had been hired on as a systems programmer which apparently translated as 'the bosses typist because he can't use the shift key and when he types his own stuff he just whacks capslock and types in all caps at 2 wpm'. This company also hired a hardware expert whose sole expertise was gained on a Packard Bell production line screwing motherboards to the cases and lost the company thousands in her first week on the job. A year or so later I was working in a proper job for a multinational training company and happened to mention the bosses name and the entire training team cracked up laughing at the thought that this guy had actually been stupid enough to start a company - he had consistently failed even the basic certification exams in his chosen field. Of the people I worked with back in the startup, the hardware expert went on to work as a nanny happily for a year before she got thrown out of the country for an expired visa, one guy is in prison for assault, and pretty much everyone else got laid off within 6 months of me leaving. The boss is now (back) working as a nightshift manager in a garage.
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Apr 29, 2010 11:39
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Least favourite thing about working in an office: Revenue Projections. Client: We need you to estimate how much extra revenue the improvements you are going to make will bring in. Me: OK, we'll do that. Bear in mind all this stuff has a bedding in period and it's an estimate ONLY. Client: OK, that's fine! *creates projection, sends to client* Client: No, that's nowhere near ambitious enough! Me: But if you put higher figures in, it simply isn't going to happen! Client: I KNOW that, but I want to show my MD good figures. Fudge it up, say, 2.5x in a guess. Me: OK. But I need to let you know that this is NOT what we are saying is going to be the estimated revenue, and I'm going to write that on the sheet and lock it. I frankly think the figures you're asking for are totally impossible. Client: Ok, that's fine! 6 MONTHS LATER (timeshift effects etc.) Client: THE REVENUE FIGURES ARE WAY LOWER THAN WHAT YOU SAID THEY WOULD BE AND WE'RE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING OUR FUTURE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR COMPANY Me: 
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Apr 29, 2010 14:10
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Clamps McGraw posted:Me: Yeah, sounds like you just got a lesson in corporate math! Here's an exerpt from a meeting:  - One market - Another market - My boss: So our plan is to come up with metrics that we can agree on, like your budget.: Well we factor in our goals in the budget, so our GOAL may be 5% over our budget.: That's fine, you can come up with your own numbers, but here at corporate, we won't be looking at that.: Sounds fair, I think we can come up with some numbers that work for us!: Yeah! It'll be easier, we can work together to make our numbers look better!: That's not the po-: -This is going to be great! I can't wait!: No, you're not getting it. The idea is not to embellish your numbers!: I don't follow.Unfortunately, these guys keep their job based on having good numbers. They have every reason to embellish them. This is going to be a tough project 
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Apr 29, 2010 14:22
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Clamps McGraw posted:
And this, folks, is why you keep everything in email and make sure you save it. I'm not so sure 'writing it on a sheet' is good enough.
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Apr 29, 2010 14:24
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As for vacation time, my new job is giving me a month per year. Every job I've had since graduating college has been 2 weeks, so my eyes nearly popped out of my skull when I saw how much I got when they sent me the offer.
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Apr 29, 2010 14:48
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