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The fact that people not only come up with these scenarios, but probably enjoy thinking about it, boggles my mind.my uncle posted:Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
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May 3, 2010 17:34
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I love how the kids callously enjoy murder like they're hopped up on brown-brown or some poo poo.
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May 3, 2010 18:03
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Hey did you hear about all those Americans who were drowned by a Hurricane and had their entire city destroyed? Now they have to deal with a giant oil well belching black goo from the ocean floor at 5000 barrels a day! Wow really? gently caress them. They suck. 
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May 3, 2010 18:09
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Man, I've lost count of the times a knife wielding MUSLIM has lunged at me on an abandoned street.
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May 3, 2010 18:15
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Intel&Sebastian posted:Hey did you hear about all those Americans who were drowned by a Hurricane and had their entire city destroyed? Now they have to deal with a giant oil well belching black goo from the ocean floor at 5000 barrels a day! 5,000? Last I heard they'd upped the estimate to 25,000.
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May 3, 2010 18:22
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Chaos Emerald posted:Man, I've lost count of the times a knife wielding MUSLIM has lunged at me on an abandoned street. I'm impressed that one can tell it is an Islamic terrorist merely by looking at him. Two things which are fairly independent of how someone looks. Its almost like saying a serial killer with a degree in sociology. On top of that, I am lead to believe that the fool in the story is the one who thinks before he acts, and the hero of the story is the guy who either has terrible aim, or keeps firing long after the threat has passed. And clearly taught his kids that this is the correct course of action. Also, ignore the fact that terrorists typically blow stuff up in crowded places. As it turns out, terrorists actually attack a single four person family on a deserted street.
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May 3, 2010 18:25
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My dad called me today and was talking about how the Russians are saying that the North Koreans torpedoed the oil rig and that Obama has ordered a media blackout/cover up about it. As far as I can tell, it is sourced from http://www.eutimes.net/2010/05/us-orders-blackout-over-north-korean-torpedoing-of-gulf-of-mexico-oil-rig/  Guess this is going to be the next crazy FW: FW: FW: email.
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May 3, 2010 18:54
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Chaos Emerald posted:Man, I've lost count of the times a knife wielding MUSLIM has lunged at me on an abandoned street. Our greatest threat isn't terrorists steering planes into buildings, setting off bombs in Iraq every time we think things are settling down, or even Arizona rear end-raping the Bill of Rights, it's obscenity shouting Muslim muggers.
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May 3, 2010 18:55
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Lansdowne posted:* We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day. I fully support paint and weed day.
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May 3, 2010 19:53
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crime fighting hog posted:I fully support paint and weed day. We call it "Huff N' Puff" in my particular Liberal Commune.
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May 3, 2010 21:01
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Lansdowne's Uncle posted:
HAHAHAHA THEN GO HAVE BEER
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May 3, 2010 21:24
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the posted:I love how the kids callously enjoy murder like they're hopped up on brown-brown or some poo poo.
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May 4, 2010 04:36
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Gripen5 posted:I'm impressed that one can tell it is an Islamic terrorist merely by looking at him. Well they all have turbans and beards right? I mean it's not rocket science you liberetard 
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May 4, 2010 12:30
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He sure has a pretty rare 1911, since it can hold at least 12 rounds.  This led me to googling if perhaps Kimber has some advanced models or something. They don't, but they definitely have a great marketing department. Way to improve their google rating.
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May 4, 2010 13:07
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Oogh, this loving doozy crossed my desk. Have at it.Arizona State Senator Sylvia Allen (R) posted:Subject: Arizona State Senator Sylvia Allen. I want to explain SB 1070
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May 5, 2010 16:51
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quote:In the last two years he has found 17 dead bodies and two Koran bibles. 
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May 5, 2010 16:55
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quote:In the last few years 80% of our law enforcement that have been killed or wounded have been by an illegal. Also, clearly the only thing more dangerous than a Muslim is an Illegal Mexican Muslim (IMM).
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May 5, 2010 17:14
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Navaash posted:Oogh, this loving doozy crossed my desk. Have at it. LOL ask a socialogist about the rise of crime in Arizona over the last decade. See what he says is really happening. All the "our white culture isn't taught in schools anymore, we're losing our nation!" stuff is just icing on the cake.
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May 5, 2010 17:16
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quote:The leftist media has distorted what SB 1070 will do. It is not going to set up a Nazi Germany . Are you kidding. The ACLU and the leftist courts will do everything to protect those who are here illegally, but it was an effort to try and stop illegal's from setting up businesses, and employment, and receiving state services and give the ability to local law enforcement when there is probable cause like a traffic stop to determine if they are here legally. Federal law is very clear if you are here on a visa you must have your papers on you at all times. So what if you are a US citizen, are you required to carry identification on you? You are now! They really didn't think through how big of an invasion of your personal liberties this is. Also does nothing to stop unchecked illegal immigration. I'm especially curious how checking for id's is going to be effective against the boogymen they've set up in drug runners. quote:Another rancher testified that daily drugs are brought across his ranch in a military operation. A point man with a machine gun goes in front, 1/2 mile behind are the guards fully armed, 1/2 mile behind them are the drugs, behind the drugs 1/2 mile are more guards. These people are violent and they will kill anyone who gets in the way. This was not the only rancher we heard that day that talked about the drug trains. I think you might be illegal sir, please show me your identification.
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May 5, 2010 18:01
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Vilerat posted:So what if you are a US citizen, are you required to carry identification on you? You are now! They really didn't think through how big of an invasion of your personal liberties this is. Also does nothing to stop unchecked illegal immigration. They did all the thinking they needed to do if you don't try to sugar-coat this in non-racist terms.
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May 5, 2010 18:30
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Brennanite posted:How ever has the state managed to survive with 80% of its police officers dead or wounded? That's not what the e-mail says though.
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May 5, 2010 19:34
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Navaash posted:We must know who is coming and they must come in an organized manner legally so that we can assimilate them into our population and protect the sovereignty of our country. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE SHOW ME YOUR PAPERS
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May 5, 2010 20:10
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Isn't there some sort of cognitive dissonance involved when you rail against a government by calling them "fascist," "a dictatorship," and "nazi germany," and then openly support such legislation?
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May 5, 2010 20:17
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the posted:Isn't there some sort of cognitive dissonance involved when you rail against a government by calling them "fascist," "a dictatorship," and "nazi germany," and then openly support such legislation? What, you mean how ironic it is that the same people who thrive on saying 'no to big government' don't seem to mind having to have identification on themselves 24/7 now?
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May 5, 2010 20:18
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crime fighting hog posted:What, you mean how ironic it is that the same people who thrive on saying 'no to big government' don't seem to mind having to have identification on themselves 24/7 now? They are assuming it will never be an issue for them and they're probably right. Like a lot of people think traffic cams are a violation of your privacy because that will affect me - but a law that requires people to have their papers on hand is ok because it only affects those other people. If you look a punishment for drug related crimes and punishment for white collar crimes you might get the lingering suspicion that a lot of the criminal code is really about that.
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May 5, 2010 22:05
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quote:We have already lost our history it is no longer taught in our schools. As a history major, I have to say that this kind of rhetoric pisses me off to no end.  You didn't "lose" your history - all you "lost" was the particular catechism your history teachers chanted at you. The "history" they teach today is every bit a catechism as the "history" you learned - you're just objecting to the moral emphasis of the new history. But get this: history can't give you a perfect moral system. Sometimes the good people lose and the bad people win; sometimes the good people do bad stuff and the bad people do good stuff. And that's just as true today as it has been since time immemorial. If you insist on putting your great forebears up on a pedestal, they're only going to get knocked down.Edit: It's almost as if the answer to a question like "What would George Washington do?" won't always steer you right. V V
Pththya-lyi fucked around with this message at 01:49 on May 6, 2010 |
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May 6, 2010 01:43
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Sporadic posted:My dad called me today and was talking about how the Russians are saying that the North Koreans torpedoed the oil rig and that Obama has ordered a media blackout/cover up about it. The funniest part is that he thinks the North Koreans actually have a sub capable of getting further than the Sea of Japan. EDIT: poo poo, I should read the article first next time, they claim it was a cargo ship. Oh well, now its just retarded AND unfunny. Shimrra Jamaane fucked around with this message at 04:20 on May 7, 2010 |
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May 7, 2010 04:17
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THIS IS TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS ADD NEW CHAPTER TO STORIED HISTORY by Brent High On May 1st and 2nd of 2010 a historic amount of rain, as much as 17 inches, fell on middle Tennessee and the city of Nashville in less than 48 hours. Historians are using terms like “thousand year flood” to describe what took place here. The Cumberland River, Nashville’s main waterway, crested at just over 51 feet, flooding iconic structures including the Grand Ole Opry, LP Field and Bridgestone Arena where the Tennessee Titans and Nashville Predators play, Country Music Hall of Fame and the Opryland Hotel and Convention Center. The water rose so much, so fast and in places water has never been seen that thousands had to be rescued by boat. Dozens lost their lives. Thousands of homeowners lost everything they had. Thousands more are now trying to salvage what’s left. Most had no flood insurance because before May 1st they didn’t need it where they lived. Early estimates are that the damage will top $1 billion and this storm will go down as the most devastating non-hurricane event in American history. This is Tennessee. It’s Monday, May 3rd. The rain has stopped, finally. What happens next shouldn’t come as a surprise. Almost instinctively, after a long night of restlessness, volunteers spring into action. It’s in their blood. They’ve been trained to do so by their parents and grandparents. From Waverly to Cookeville, Winchester to Cross Plains and in the capital city of Nashville the sights and sounds are the same. Without being asked, fishermen launch their boats into the muddy soup, joining the rescue efforts. Business owners and supervisors tell their employees to take the day off and jump in and help wherever they can. Neighbors, many of whom helped empty entire houses in brigade fashion the night before, transition into cleanup mode. Sump pumps and generators whirr. Drywall, carpet and ruined floors are ripped out. Elderly ladies gather at the church to make lunches for workers. Teenagers distribute bottled water. Pickup trucks, trailers and storage units are loaded with what could be salvaged. Photos and documents are spread out in the sun to dry. Wads of $20 bills are slid into pockets of those affected. Checks are written. Hugs are given. Prayers are said. Tears are shed. This is Tennessee. Almost 200 years ago Tennessee first earned the nickname “Volunteer State.” In 1812 More than 2,000 Tennesseans volunteered to fight for Andrew Jackson and were the main part of Jackson’s army that destroyed the British three years later in the Battle of New Orleans. A generation later the U. S. Secretary of War asked Tennessee for 2,800 soldiers to fight a war against Mexico. 30,000 volunteered. This is a state where faith comes first. We don’t ask why. We know there is a reason and look forward to it being revealed. We are guided by scriptures such as Philippians 2:3-5 which says: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus.” Family is a focus, not an afterthought. Don’t bother trying to do business with us the week of Christmas or July 4th. We’ll be with family. When our kids have a school play we will be there. We throw big birthday parties. We teach our kids right from wrong and aren’t afraid to give them a whippin’ when they need it. Here we say “Yes ma’am” and “No ma’am.” We try to leave a place better than we found it. We put our hand over our heart when the national anthem is played. We pull over on the side of the road when funeral processions pass on the other side. We are savvy business people. We are farmers. We are teachers. We drink Coke here. We like gravy with our biscuits and potatoes. We are serious about our sports. We keep score in little league and we still have all-star teams and MVP trophies. We are givers. You won’t hear us wailing about where the federal government and insurance companies were in all of this. We’ll get by just fine without them. Right now we have a lot to deal with here in our backyard. We will handle it with dignity and class. We will sacrifice for each other in ways that are unfathomable to most. We will stand together. We will stand tall. We will come out of this stronger than we were before it. One day in the not too distant future a hurricane, tornado, fire, flood or other unspeakable disaster will strike your community. As you struggle to put the pieces back together we will be there. We will volunteer. We are Tennesseans. This is Tennessee. Brent High, 36, is a lifelong Tennessean from Nashville. He serves as Assistant Director of Athletics for External Affairs at Lipscomb University and can be reached by email at brent@brenthigh.com.
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May 7, 2010 19:00
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I dunno. Will they? http://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article_175011.asp Not bad, but mentioning the government in it?
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May 7, 2010 19:00
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This is a state where faith comes first. We don’t ask why. We know there is a reason and look forward to it being revealed. We are guided by scriptures such as Philippians 2:3-5 which says: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus.” For this reason and many others, we are the very best state and our people are superior in every way to yours. We will proudly inform everyone in our mailing lists of this fact. Also we drink coke.
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May 7, 2010 19:18
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I'm totally more humble than they are. 
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May 7, 2010 20:14
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Well, I was on the fence between spending a couple weeks of summer doing volunteer flood cleanup in Nashville or oil spill cleanup on the gulf coast. Sounds like the good people of Tennessee have their poo poo under control so gulf coast it is! (Not really, I'll go wherever the need seems to be greatest by then.) Also, for a state that's all about family it's funny how they're tied with Florida at #7 for highest divorce rate (the top 10 on that list are bible belt and southern states). They're quite cocky about their fiscal independence for a state that consistently takes in 25% or so more federal dollars than they pay out every year. I live in a pro-gay-marriage build-a-nice-rest-area-with-toilets-benches-and-drinking-fountains-for-illegal-day-laborers liberal-douchebaggy southern California town and we too keep score in little league and have all-star teams. Strangely, school auditoriums tend to be packed with parents on those special nights here too (I say strangely because you'd expect most of those faggots to be at home buttfucking each other amirite?). As for savvy business people, you bet they are. Last time I visited Tennessee my motel room didn't even have a smoke detector - presumably because the government there knows it's wrong to interfere with the free market by requiring such things, and as a result the business owner can use his savvy to save me the 0.1 cents per night's stay that detector would have cost, all the while giving me the freedom to choose whether or not to wake my children in the event of a fire (those disrespectful fuckers only call me 'dad' anyway), provided of course that smoke inhalation doesn't asphixiate me without waking me up. Sorry to sound like an rear end in a top hat but that was the biggest shitheap of I've seen in a long while.Edit: Spelling and grammar. Why do I post things from a phone... Choadmaster fucked around with this message at 05:56 on May 8, 2010 |
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May 8, 2010 01:11
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Why do southern states always try and describe their state like a real life version of a 1950s American sitcom? Sounds boring as gently caress.
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May 8, 2010 05:50
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quote:
thingsthatneverhappened.txt
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May 8, 2010 07:15
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http://www.snopes.com/katrina/soapbox/snowfall.asp No it did not. Wouldn't be surprised if those shots weren't from it either.
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May 8, 2010 08:39
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Snow Storm posted:stranded hundreds of motorists in lethal snow banks Hurricane Katrina posted:At least 1,836 people lost their lives in the actual hurricane Yeah this is comparable.
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May 8, 2010 09:51
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a handful of dust posted:thingsthatneverhappened.txt I never really understood these types of emails. Aren't things like FEMA essentially "we help our own", but on a macro scale? Isn't that the whole loving point of living in an organized society? And I like this line the best: "...and the police and fire departments delivered it to the snow bound families." Nope, no government assistance in North Dakota!
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May 8, 2010 13:49
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We need to send this out to all the crazies: This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the local public utility. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like, using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of U.S. Department of Agriculture-inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. At the appropriate time, as regulated by the U.S. Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the U.S. Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration-approved automobile and set out to work on the roads built by the local, state, and federal Departments of Transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the U.S. Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school. After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and Fire Marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department. And then I log on to the internet -- which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration -- and post about how SOCIALISM is BAD because the government can't do anything right.
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May 8, 2010 16:59
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tek79 posted:I never really understood these types of emails. Aren't things like FEMA essentially "we help our own", but on a macro scale? Isn't that the whole loving point of living in an organized society? No no no. FEMA helps lazy black people, those aren't "our own" at all.
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May 8, 2010 18:54
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tek79 posted:I never really understood these types of emails. Aren't things like FEMA essentially "we help our own", but on a macro scale? Isn't that the whole loving point of living in an organized society? Not when the email is talking about helping lazy, welfare socialist nazi fascist blacks. dammit choadmaster, that was supposed to be MY lazy blacks joke.
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