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WestofEden posted:I'm not engaged, but I'll give my opinion as a photographer who has shot a very wide range of weddings (from hillbilly types, to OC 'Platinum' shindigs). I haven't seen anyone do any sort of gift opening at the wedding itself, are you talking about during a shower or something? I definitely think you can get away with not opening anything AT the wedding, but at a shower or similar event, that's just part of the whole process, so I wouldn't exclude cards. Yeah, sorry I wasn't clearer about that. The morning after the wedding, we're having a gift opening (more of a get together, really) before all the guests take off back home. I think what we'll do is open the cards but just read them aloud and make no mention of the value inside.
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Jun 17, 2010 18:57
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teamgod posted:Yeah, sorry I wasn't clearer about that. The morning after the wedding, we're having a gift opening (more of a get together, really) before all the guests take off back home. I think what we'll do is open the cards but just read them aloud and make no mention of the value inside.
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Jun 17, 2010 19:46
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gvibes posted:I have never heard of this before. I hadn't either, until last summer, when a friend of my then-fiance's did it at his wedding. Honestly, we didn't feel like doing that sort of thing (long, potentially boring, at more cost to our 99.9% out of town guests wedding). Granted, said friend had this big to-do about the whole thing, with brunch at the hotel where they had their reception and all that. I think a laid back sort of thing would be all right, especially if you are close to everyone that's coming. My maid-of-honor helped us out the next day with making a gift spreadsheet for our thank you cards, but that was it.
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Jun 17, 2010 20:32
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I don't know, it just seems to me like an opportunity for feelings to get hurt. That, and all the forced oooohing and ahhhing over someone else's gifts gets old quickly.
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Jun 17, 2010 20:51
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Abbeh posted:We weren't expecting gifts either, so we ended up just waiting until the next morning (complete with a bunch of friends sleeping over) and opened them at our home. And by that I mean I opened them. I opened the cards at the same time, and we sent thank-you cards to everyone who showed up at the wedding and/or sent us a gift. I loved your picture post, and looks like your wedding was a blast! I really liked the play-doh idea too. I'm not even engaged yet, but I think I will plan to do this. On the gift opening note: I've never seen someone open wedding gifts/cards at a wedding reception. Last year my boyfriend and I got a couple a gift card and they didn't send us a thank you note, but let us know that they spent it on a karaoke machine the next time we saw them. What makes me more irritated is that they have never invited us over to sing!  I've also heard tons of horror stories about people opening gifts from people who have re-gifted fondue pots and the like, and the original gifter's card left enclosed in the box. Chu Chu fucked around with this message at 21:04 on Jun 17, 2010 |
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Jun 17, 2010 21:01
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We got one present we think is re gifted. We're keeping it in the box (since we have no place to put a wicker/silver plate holder and matching condiment basket) and may re gift it some day to friends as a joke. We got two crock pots from different people  the first one I was all, oh, a bigger crock pot - that's nice! I had a small one so I told my mom she could have our old one. Then we got another! In fact the same model as our old one! But they gave us the receipt with it and we returned it to Macy's and got a nice king-sized blanket since our queen sized one never seems big enough...If you end up using the play dough as well, make sure if you take it home, not to leave it on the kitchen table. My cats ate all the little sculptures and we're still finding oddly-colored piles of vomit in hidden places.
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Jun 17, 2010 21:07
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What a loving budget coup: I used the University of Maine's print shop to do my invites---they are printing 70 of them, plus the RSVP cards for $3.22. The .22 cents is partly Maine state tax. How loving sweet is that? All you need is an affiliation with the school. I didn't, but I have a friend who works there; the print shop is for anyone who attended(s) or works at the Uni. Anyone who has to do invites and is a student, or wants to do a soon to be wed friend a huge favor, here's your chance. loving AWESOME not to have to pay an arm and a leg for a frigging simple task. A cousin of mine is a wedding planner and she is always advising people that the only folks who'll actually keep an invite you may have sweated over and obsessed about for ages before printing, is you, and probably your parents. No sense in spending a fucktonne of money in something that will get thrown away. *happy budget dance*
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Jun 18, 2010 17:37
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I've been a long-time lurker of this thread, and while I'm not engaged, I do now finally have a reason to post in it! I'm rather worried I may have made a faux-pas, and am wondering how to follow-up. A friend of mine is getting married in roughly a month's time, and she, her fiance, my partner and I have all become close friends in a short time (less than a year). They're trying to have a fairly low-key wedding and are basically trying to play it down a bit, partly for costs I think as well as the fact that they're not really big on the whole traditional stuff. Through conversations in the past, it sounded like neither of them were going to have a bachelor/bachelorette type party, which is fine. However, through my partner, I'm starting to hear that he and friends of the groom-to-be will be putting together a surprise bachelor party. Great! But, I certainly don't want my friend to feel left out, and hey, she deserves a little party too, right? I casually mentioned to her sometime recently about whether or not she thought she was going to have a bachelorette party or any kind of "girls night" before hand, just for fun. She really seemed to think that nobody would be planning it, and sounded like she'd be interested in it but would be too embarrassed to set it up on her own. So I boldly decided to let her know that I'd put something together for her, even if it was just a casual "girls night", since she doesn't enjoy the bar scene. So my questions are: - Have I totally overstepped the line here by offering to throw her something? By all the sounds of it, it didn't sound like anybody in the wedding party would be able to put something like this together (too far away, engaged in other things at the moment), HOWEVER, I'm not in the wedding party myself and certainly don't want to upset anything. My friend seemed to be happy about the idea, but now I'm concerned about the other ladies. - How do I setup something like this? I've never been to a "bachelorette" party, although she expressly mentioned that she hates any of those silly games and that sort of thing. How do I know who to get in contact with to invite? Do I get a list of friends from her and facebook them all or something? - Any ideas on a laid-back thing like this? It sounded like she wanted something simple and at-home like watching Sci-Fi movies and stuff, with like some nice appetisers and such. I'd like to incorporate something special into it though, to kind of make it a little bit of an occasion, but don't really know what. Also, I'm not sure the best way to entertain all the friends, since they may not all be into sci-fi, what have you. Also, any stories of pre-wedding parties you ladies have gone to would be great to hear! Party games/favours/activities, anything. What did you like, dislike, etc would all be very appreciated!
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Jun 18, 2010 18:41
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I had a bachelorette party at my house with a bunch of my friends, and it was pretty awesome. We got all sorts of phallic candies and cakes (got some online and I made my sister get some at the erotic bakery near her work since it was funny to see her embarrassed...  and she ended up buying a bunch of chocolates too) and some goofy decorations. My sister and my best friend got to my house a few hours before I did and put together all my favorite foods from my childhood, and some other snack foods, and started a fire out behind the house. So we had music, goofy foods, fire, sexy madlibs, we even had a porn (xxx Big Lebowski - it's pretty terrible). And we got completely hammered and had a great time. Quite a few people slept over, so that was fun too.So basically we had a big house party with a bunch of girls (though my husband showed up at the end, since he has to sleep somewhere, and had fun doing sexy madlibs around the fire). Alternatively, his bachelor party included batting cages, a stretch SUV, go-carts, a strip club, vomiting on his shoes, two whole days of activities, etc.
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Jun 18, 2010 19:32
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Camembert posted:I've been a long-time lurker of this thread, and while I'm not engaged, I do now finally have a reason to post in it! I don't think you overstepped your bounds at all! I knew about my bachelorette party because my sister needed a guest list (same with my bridal shower and baby shower, now that I think about it). We got manicures and pedicures, and then went to a restaurant/bar (Bamboo Club, awesome Asian food). My sister did some gag stuff, like a penis charm bracelet and a bachelorette tiara, but no silly games. It was the perfect bachelorette party for me, since I like things low key. Pretty sure my husband's bachelor party consisted of massive amounts of alcohol and Wii.
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Jun 18, 2010 19:51
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Camembert posted:
I definitely don't think you're overstepping any boundaries. It might be worthwhile to talk to her bridesmaids if you can to figure out if they really aren't planning anything, though. Ask her about contacts and who to invite, and be sure to pick a date that works for her. You can pretty much do whatever you want as long as the bride-to-be has fun.  My bachelorette party was sushi and bowling. Low-key, inexpensive, and lots of fun for all of us. My husband's bachelor party was at an arcade with go-karts, laser tag, batting cages, bumper cars, mini golf and a whole arcade game area (Zaftig, since I think I remember reading you're getting married in Asheville too, it's called the Fun Depot. $20 for one game of laser tag, one go-kart ride, 3 choices of mini-games like minigolf and bumper cars, and $10 of game tokens) followed by a bar.
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Jun 18, 2010 23:04
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Thanks so much for the replies guys, it makes me feel a lot better to hear that I shouldn't be overstepping. It's great to hear everything that happened at your respective showers--definitely stealing some of those ideas, they all sound like they were awesome! Now that I know it's okay, I guess I'll get back to her and discuss the guest list and double-check with her ladies that nothing's already planned, and then get set for a fun time! Oh, and if anybody else wants to share what happened at their party too, go ahead--the more I know the better!
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Jun 19, 2010 01:03
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I have to order all the alcohol for our wedding this coming Monday but have no idea what to get and was hoping some of y'all might have some suggestions. I just need a few generic beers that are popular these days and hopefully don't taste like total rear end and suggestions on a cheapish red and white wine would also be super helpful. Under 30 days to go and so much left to do. Stress city here we come!
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Jun 19, 2010 04:06
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Do you have a Trader Joes nearby? If so, you can float away in wine and still have money left over for decent beer.
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Jun 19, 2010 04:17
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Kitten Kisses posted:I have to order all the alcohol for our wedding this coming Monday but have no idea what to get and was hoping some of y'all might have some suggestions. I just need a few generic beers that are popular these days and hopefully don't taste like total rear end and suggestions on a cheapish red and white wine would also be super helpful. If your wedding is local and you have a Costco membership you could check their stock, they usually carry a good range of beers (non-assy brands too) and mid-range wines, which you could look up reviews for, in bulk for great prices. Probably won't work if you're hosting more than 100 guests or whatever but if it's a smaller affair Costco is a good DIY last minute bar option. Also, could see if a local mom-and-pop liquor store could give you a bulk discount on an order in your timeframe, if their shipping schedule allows, and they might be able help you narrow down wines suitable for the menu.
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Jun 19, 2010 04:23
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My fiancee is having high tea at the oldest hotel in town for her bachelorette party and is thrilled about it. Here: I don't even know what high tea is. Got our wedding bands today.  Custom made by a family friend; turned out better than expected (was a bit worried by the rough drafts of hers). They even re-coated her engagement ring for free.I've been wearing my ring off and on today and smiling like a goofball. Does that make me gay?
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Jun 19, 2010 05:19
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Sneaky Monkey posted:(Zaftig, since I think I remember reading you're getting married in Asheville too, it's called the Fun Depot. $20 for one game of laser tag, one go-kart ride, 3 choices of mini-games like minigolf and bumper cars, and $10 of game tokens)
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Jun 19, 2010 06:01
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Camembert posted:Oh, and if anybody else wants to share what happened at their party too, go ahead--the more I know the better! Well, my boyfriend and I sort of put together our best friend's party. We did pedicures with the under-21, dinner at a brewery, then surprised her with a limo for a couple of hours and a VIP lounge at a club with a ton of vodka. I think any of those activities could have been a bachelorette party on their own. Especially the limo... there's something about driving around with a limo full of champagne and good music. For another friend, we just had a pajama party and the theme was pigtails and cocktails. That was also a lot of fun. You just have to know what the bride to be would prefer for a fun night and not try to live up to the expectation of some kind of epic prescribed bachelorette party activities.
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Jun 19, 2010 06:17
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Kitten Kisses posted:I just need a few generic beers that are popular these days and hopefully don't taste like total rear end and suggestions on a cheapish red and white wine would also be super helpful. - Miller Lite - Bud Lite - PBR 1 would get a 12 pack per 24 people of - Corona Lite - Red Stripe I would then get a 6 pack per 12 people of - A skunky german green bottle beer - Something with "Summer" in the name - Another "Summer" beer. - Bass - Harp I'm not a big wine person, so I would go with boxed wine. If you wanted to go with bottles instead, I would go to your local total wine and ask for a reasonably priced case of white and red wine, one case per 24 people. It's very early in the morning though, so my math might be off.
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Jun 19, 2010 14:29
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Zaftig posted:Oh man, that sounds awesome. I think we're doing a joint party. We were thinking of renting a chick flick and getting a stripper. Hehe, it was! We actually went back AFTER the wedding (morning ceremony, and they're open until 11) with all our younger friends and family still in town. It was an absolute blast. I will warn you, the place has Bible verses everywhere, which is trippy (and hilarious when the bachelor party found out!) but the only thing they enforce is no cussing around any kids. Also, 2-story laser tag with 20 friends is the best laser tag. Sounds like fun! Are you talking good chick flick or MST3K worthy chick flick?
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Jun 19, 2010 17:56
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Has anyone had a diamond or other stones set in palladium as an alternative to platinum? Apparently palladium is as white as platinum and holds its shine about as well, but platinum is denser so it has a better heft to it. Aside from that, is there any reason to pay significantly more for it v. a palladium setting? Is 950 palladium preferable to palladium/gold alloys?
elle vee fucked around with this message at 15:00 on Jun 20, 2010 |
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Jun 20, 2010 04:46
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Sneaky Monkey posted:Hehe, it was! We actually went back AFTER the wedding (morning ceremony, and they're open until 11) with all our younger friends and family still in town. It was an absolute blast. I will warn you, the place has Bible verses everywhere, which is trippy (and hilarious when the bachelor party found out!) but the only thing they enforce is no cussing around any kids. Also, 2-story laser tag with 20 friends is the best laser tag.
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Jun 20, 2010 05:05
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elle vee posted:Has anyone had a diamond or other stones set in palladium as an alternative to platinum? Apparently palladium is as white as platinum and holds its shine about as well, but platinum is denser so it has a better heft to it. Aside from that, is there any reason to pay significantly more for it v. a palladium setting? Is 950 palladium preferable to palladium/gold alloys? They are both fine metals, but Palladium is more temperamental. It requires a pro to handle it in both production and repair. We've tended to avoid it since the chance for mistakes is pretty high. I deal with hundreds of jewelers and there is only one shop I trust to do it right.
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Jun 20, 2010 16:10
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This is probably an question so meaningless the answer will be nonsense, but I'm going to ask it anyway since I'm curious. How much did you pay per head for food? I've been tasked by the lady to find a venue, but I don't know what I'm getting in to. I've found a place I like, and their lowest level of food is $62/head, but that includes some alcohol, and I'm also not sure if it includes the venue itself. I just don't want to get ripped off...
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Jun 20, 2010 18:36
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FISHMANPET posted:$62/head
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Jun 20, 2010 19:10
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I always heard to do $10 per head if you're serving alcohol and around $6-8 per head if you're not doing alcohol. Jeez $62 per head seems horribly expensive...but maybe I'm just poor and cheap?
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Jun 20, 2010 19:42
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Zaftig posted:Prices vary by region, but that seems really, really expensive. How much is "some" alcohol? I'm going the super cheap route because I'm poor, but I saw fancier meals going for $30/head. Shop around. This is the 'example' menus they link. Range from 62-82/head, depending on the package. The 72 and 82 plans include a suite for the bride and groom. Also, what is cake cutting service? Does that mean they'll cut up your cake for you? I really have no idea what's going on, and all the "wedding" stuff the lady does involves looking at dresses. I like this place because I really want the wedding at an old train depot because I'm a huge nerd, but I have no idea what stuff is supposed to cost. How did I get here I'm not very good with weddings 
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Jun 20, 2010 19:56
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We paid approximately $12 a head, as part of our all inclusive wedding package. And yes, cake cutting service is exactly what it sounds like, and it's nice to have-- they have you do the first slice for you and the groom to eat from, and then they take care of it from there for all the guests.
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Jun 20, 2010 20:10
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In general, the fancier or more in demand the venue, the more they will rape you from behind. We're paying $64 per person. Base was $54 for our package, but we did some changes and add-ons that raised it just a bit. For that $64 per person, we get: - Hand passed hors d'oeuvres during cocktail hour - Buffet line with three entrees (basic is two entrees, but we wanted one chicken, one beef and one vegetarian, so that added $3 per person) - Open beer, wine, soda and juice bar (package beers were Miller and Miller Lite, we changed it to Miller Lite, Leinie's Red Lager and Leinie's Berry Weiss for an additional $4 per person) - One glass of champagne per person for a champagne toast - Cheese and cracker trays for a "late night snack" (additional $3 per person) - Cake cutting service Adding to the high price is the fact that our venue is high demand, near the lakefront with a lake view and in the downtown part of Milwaukee. We would've been happy doing it on the cheap with a less expensive venue and bringing in the food ourselves, but we're fine with paying a little bit more for this since we only have to do this once.
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Jun 20, 2010 21:14
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We're about $42/head, with open bar for like 5 hours, buffet, appetizers, etc.
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Jun 20, 2010 22:06
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JohnnyRnR posted:They are both fine metals, but Palladium is more temperamental. It requires a pro to handle it in both production and repair. We've tended to avoid it since the chance for mistakes is pretty high. Thanks for the expert opinion, JohnnyRnR, I really appreciate it. We're talking to a designer at a B&M about having a ring custom designed using the stone from my grandmother's engagement ring. Palladium looks like a good alternative to platinum (on paper!) and I think the designer said that if that's what we wanted they would have to send it out to another jeweler who works with it using machinist tools. I think I might have been a little overwhelmed by then and the part about having to work with it in a vacuum didn't exactly sink in. I guess that's why he was pushing platinum so hard. Anyway, thanks again!
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Jun 20, 2010 23:32
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FISHMANPET posted:This is the 'example' menus they link. Range from 62-82/head, depending on the package. The 72 and 82 plans include a suite for the bride and groom. I'm not married and I don't know much about prices, but my brother got married at the Depot 4 or 5 years ago. I pretty much laughed when I saw how frickin' expensive it was just now. It was really, really not worth $62/head. Your guests do not get a choice of entree (brother and s-i-l picked salmon, wtf), and it was unspectacular for that price. The venue was nice, it wasn't bad, but honestly it was nothing special. They planned to have an open bar for an hour or two, and they ended up extending that all night, because they never met the minimum, if that gives you any idea. I can't give you any details about how the staff was or anything because I'm not close to my brother. But from a guest perspective, it was not worth that price.
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Jun 20, 2010 23:57
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My fiancee has run into a really weird situation with her shower thank yous. One of the women who gave her a gift has passed away since the date of the shower, but she isn't sure how to write the note, since her husband is still alive and she'd like to acknowledge the gift. Google wasn't much help to us in finding rules of etiquette for such a situation, but maybe someone else here has thoughts. Should it be a thank you to the husband, with a quick note of sympathy, or a sympathy note with a quick thank you, or 50/50?
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Jun 22, 2010 02:59
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Lord Hawking posted:My fiancee has run into a really weird situation with her shower thank yous. One of the women who gave her a gift has passed away since the date of the shower, but she isn't sure how to write the note, since her husband is still alive and she'd like to acknowledge the gift. Google wasn't much help to us in finding rules of etiquette for such a situation, but maybe someone else here has thoughts. Should it be a thank you to the husband, with a quick note of sympathy, or a sympathy note with a quick thank you, or 50/50? I'd definitely emphasize the sympathy rather than the thank you. If this woman was close enough to your fiancee to attend the shower/give a gift, then it is important to send your condolences to her husband. I don't know if I'd even acknowledge the gift, to be honest, it just seems so weird to me to receive a note like that if your wife just passed away. You'd have to phrase it very delicately, I think.
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Jun 22, 2010 03:15
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I agree, probably leave out the gift and just tell him how much she meant to your fiancee, and empathize with his loss. At a time like that, pure sympathy would be much more meaningful than 'Thanks for the blender, sorry about Edna!".
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Jun 22, 2010 03:51
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So my mom just said she'd give us $5000 for the wedding 
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Jun 22, 2010 04:17
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I think a note can mention the gift but it's a sympathy card primarily. "always miss aunt Edna and so glad we got to see her so recently. Having her at our shower was so special. Whenever I use her gift of a blender, I'll think of her and count our blessings"
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Jun 22, 2010 13:07
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I picked up an estate engagement ring that I was planning to repurpose as a pendant. I hate to tear apart old jewelry so if anyone would like it they may have it at the wholesale cost of the components. You'll need to have the prongs tightened and the ring repolished, but it is a lovely ring. http://bit.ly/cPepeR If I still have it in a few days I'll be taking it apart.
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Jun 22, 2010 19:36
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FISHMANPET posted:How much did you pay per head for food? I've been tasked by the lady to find a venue, but I don't know what I'm getting in to. I've found a place I like, and their lowest level of food is $62/head, but that includes some alcohol, and I'm also not sure if it includes the venue itself. I just don't want to get ripped off... We found some absurdly underpriced place (they are booked 2 years in advance - every Friday and Sunday booked 8 months in advance), and it is only costing us like 80 a head (plus tax and tip) for 5 hours bar, an assload of passed orderves, and plated dinner. People who have looked at wedding locations in Chicago typically stand agape when we tell them how little it costs.
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Jun 22, 2010 20:28
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I'm totally an old married lady who shouldn't still be thinking about wedding stuff, but check this out: Our wedding was featured in San Francisco Brides Magazine! digital copy online here (we're on page 70-71) I got an email randomly a couple of months ago asking if they could interview me about our wedding for a feature, and the issue we're in hits newsstands in the next week or so. I'm totally going to go buy a bunch when I'm back in SF later this month. My mom is way more excited than I am. I'm not sure why they chose us, the magazine is totally for swanky rich people, and as my husband said, "Wow, they made our wedding sound way better than it was!"  Click here for the full 1241x1542 image. The best parts are the smarmy ad copy; I love how we're a "quintessential SF couple" (not true, we hated SF and now live in Portland) and how we "tweeted every step of the way" (also not true, our photog posed us like that) The best one is the engagement announcement "through a sweet tweet" (if by "sweet" they mean "I'M ENGAGED, BITCHES" which is exactly how I announced it) And I have no idea if those appetizers were good, I didn't get any 
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Jun 23, 2010 03:20
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