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entris posted:I bought $60 worth of fireworks for tonight, none of the really good stuff but some fun things, and now I'm debating whether to bring our kitchen's fire extinguisher with me. There is a park nearby, and apparently that's where my neighborhood goes to set off fireworks. So that's where we're going. Thinking like a lawyer. I was able to turn the lawyer brain off tonight long enough to fire off around $600 worth of fireworks. Only one burn, and can't hear a thing.
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Jul 5, 2010 04:13
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Abnormally hazardous!
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Jul 5, 2010 04:16
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Draile posted:Although Skagway is one of those towns that wouldn't exist if the tour boats / Juneau ferry didn't stop there. What's with all the jewelry shops in Skagway? Is that all they can think to sell the tourists? Protip: if you want "I'm going to beat you up as soon as you leave this hotel" looks, sit in the lobby of your hotel in Anchorage with an Obama sticker on your laptop. I was waiting for Sarah! herself to show up and kick my rear end.
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Jul 5, 2010 04:39
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Roger_Mudd posted:What's with all the jewelry shops in Skagway? Is that all they can think to sell the tourists? The cruise lines own many stores in the towns that their ships stop in, so when tourists disembark and buy fancy baubles from the local shops they're actually buying from the cruise lines themselves. Hence the large number of luxury stores in remote towns that barely subsist at the poverty line.
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Jul 5, 2010 04:46
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entris posted:Too many law firms act like non-businesses, and it's a stupid, antiquated attitude. Maybe that attitude worked back in Pythagoras' day, but nowadays a business is a business, and it's all about the numbers. The PI firm I'm working at this summer has one of the partners go on the local top 40 radio station every week during their morning show for an "ask a lawyer" spot. It's pretty hilarious because the partner is quite witty and the people calling in obviously have ridiculous stories but I'm sure it's helped their business a lot. When I inevitably start my own PI shop I'm gonna put my mug on bus stop benches and on urinal cakes a la "I Love You Man"
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Jul 5, 2010 04:56
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Welp, I burned myself on July 4th. But not with fireworks. I found a great deal on ebay for this awesome State Department Foreign Service engraved zippo. Now, having never used a zippo before, I figured I could just get a thing of zippo fluid and fill it up. But apparently this thing has a really weird way of being filled. Well, I start to light my cigar (on the rooftop of a luxury condo in Pentagon City, literally across the street from the Doubletree Hotel next to DCA, watching the fireworks and the planes landing right in front of me) and instead of the flame coming from the wick portion of the lighter, it comes from out the corner? And the whole lighter erupts in flames. What the gently caress. I payed 200,000 in tuition, in order to enter a career that virtually guarantees that I will be driven to smoke and drink, and they didn't teach me how to fill a loving lighter without burning myself. Law school is a joke.
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Jul 5, 2010 05:31
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Five in a row... booyah. It's fun being smart and poo poo and being up against newbie DA's. I mean... I'm a newbie too but Christ they forget to ask the most basic questions. Favorite line from closing. (after DA says my client made a mistake and he was irresponsible and the jury can't just let him off the hook). "This IS a case about a mistake. Not a mistake that Mr. Jones made though, but a mistake that Officer Smith made. And y'know, no officer wants to arrest an innocent person. I'm not saying Officer Smith arrests innocent people on a regular basis. But it happens. And you know what? That's okay. Because this is America! We have this (gestures around the courtroom at all the participants) for precisely that reason -- to correct mistakes like the completely understandable one officer Smith made that night. So members of the jury, don't think for a moment that if you vote "not guilty" you're letting Mr. Jones off the hook. No, you're letting Officer Smith off the hook! And if he knew all the facts in this case, he'd thank you for that." Jury deliberates for 20 minutes and asks for full readback of Officer Smith's testimony. Officer Smith's testimony leaves no room for doubt as to the guilt of my client. 15 minutes after readback they return a not guilty verdict. Gun case too. Crap this job feels great when you're winning... srsly fucked around with this message at 08:20 on Jul 5, 2010 |
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Jul 5, 2010 08:17
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I officially spent all of July 4th doing BarBri poo poo. God I hate law school, even when I've graduated law school. Edit: And by "all of July 4th" I mean I literally haven't seen another human being today. I sat in an abandoned office building at my desk writing Contracts flash cards and practicing MPTs. gently caress.
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Jul 5, 2010 10:08
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Don't practice MPTs.
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Jul 5, 2010 13:35
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entris posted:I bought $60 worth of fireworks for tonight, none of the really good stuff but some fun things, and now I'm debating whether to bring our kitchen's fire extinguisher with me. There is a park nearby, and apparently that's where my neighborhood goes to set off fireworks. So that's where we're going. My friends bought $100 worth of fireworks, mostly mortars. Now, my friends are idiots. They purposely didn't buy a mortar tube. Instead, they would light the drat things and throw them in the yard to watch them explode, only a few feet from spectators. The entire time I'm thinking that I really, really want to see the carnage if it goes down but I don't want to be a fact witness so I can be the one to bring a case against the fireworks throwers and the home owner. Luckily, attorney brain shuts off with enough alcohol and the carnage was amazing.
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Jul 5, 2010 16:23
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CaptainScraps posted:Luckily, attorney brain shuts off with enough alcohol... This must be why I never learned how to "think like a lawyer." Edit: Happy Birthday Ainsley! HooKars fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Jul 5, 2010 |
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Jul 5, 2010 17:30
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entris posted:I love lawyers who dislike advertising, because it means that I can treat my law firm like a normal business and out-compete them. Because it is shameful and low class. If your whole world can be boiled down to an economic calculation, then how many dollars does it cost for you to take a gun and kill yourself? quote:Too many law firms act like non-businesses, and it's a stupid, antiquated attitude. Maybe that attitude worked back in Pythagoras' day, but nowadays a business is a business, and it's all about the numbers. barristers are, even to this day, still heavily regulated as to how they can receive business hth the belief that "business is a business" is so low class it hurts; its not rocket science to realise that when you back stab or screw someone, the suffering and sin exist regardless of how many dollars you sold yourself for. Anything less is an admittance that you are a low class oval office, or some sort of sick, moral relativist who thinks eating babies is as proper as cupcakes. We are not bleep bloop computers that just churn out numbers and profit, and there are plenty of business models and government regulations that involve responsibility and ethical behaviour. What's stupid and antiquated is the attitude that somehow business absolves you of blame, nothing is ever personal, and that this sort of thing makes you a great successful person. precious little is more disgusting than this; you can make your business decisions but don't pretend that filth and opprobrium wash off when you apply a few dollars Lykourgos fucked around with this message at 18:56 on Jul 5, 2010 |
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Jul 5, 2010 18:53
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Lykourgos posted:Because it is shameful and low class. If your whole world can be boiled down to an economic calculation, then how many dollars does it cost for you to take a gun and kill yourself? I'm going to ignore the weird rant about how advertising turns everyone into a thieving, evil Weyland-Yutani clone marched straight off the pages of the old Pravda. I just have one demand: stop the forced Britishisms. "oval office" is one of the last remaining swear words that's widely considered offensive and inappropriate in the U.S. Don't ruin it for us, ok?
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Jul 5, 2010 19:13
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Kinda easy to say all that when you don't need to find clients.
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Jul 5, 2010 19:40
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Lykourgos posted:Because it is shameful and low class. If your whole world can be boiled down to an economic calculation, then how many dollars does it cost for you to take a gun and kill yourself? you loving peasants and your "food." why is that so important to you? be cultured like me.
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Jul 5, 2010 20:08
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Mookie posted:I'm going to ignore the weird rant about how advertising turns everyone into a thieving, evil Weyland-Yutani clone marched straight off the pages of the old Pravda. Yeh... no. If you're going to quote my posts, then try responding to the content. There's no "weird rant" about advertising turning everybody into thieving monsters. Rather, I pointed out that the sort of ideology and behaviour approved by entris was simply too low class and shameful for lawyers. If you want to pretend that business is business, whether it is in law or, say, steel production, then you have to willfully ignore a host of differences. Lawyers are officers of the court, with the honoured status and heightened ethical rules that go along with that. Many lawyers are also dealing with determinations of right and wrong; the gentlemanly nature of the job is by virtue of it dealing with questions of morality and justice. The commons look up to us as creatures of immense knowledge and ability, even though they detect the vulgar scent that follows certain types of practitioners. How any of you can think that lawyers should behave like a common businessman is beyond me, and certainly you lot have done nothing to explain or justify it. quote:I just have one demand: stop the forced Britishisms. "oval office" is one of the last remaining swear words that's widely considered offensive and inappropriate in the U.S. Don't ruin it for us, ok? That's rich; (1) don't see how it's a forced britishism, plus carnt is widely yelled out by bogans, too, and (2) your entire persona is offensive and inappropriate.
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Jul 5, 2010 20:16
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Lykourgos posted:Yeh... no. If you're going to quote my posts, then try responding to the content. There's no "weird rant" about advertising turning everybody into thieving monsters. Rather, I pointed out that the sort of ideology and behaviour approved by entris was simply too low class and shameful for lawyers. Can you go ahead and define "class" for me without anecdote? Oh, and also define how the qualifiers "low" and "high" apply. Once we have that I think we can respond to the substance of your post. Go ahead, dude, give it a shot!
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Jul 5, 2010 20:41
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Lucificate posted:Can you go ahead and define "class" for me without anecdote? Oh, and also define how the qualifiers "low" and "high" apply. yeh, class refers to different categories/groups. in my post they're clearly ranked by quality. low and high are terms that clearly refer to how the people or professions rank on the hierarchy; higher are better than lower. these are all pretty basic english words, but it's okay if english is a second language for you or something. also, don't be a dick and pretend like i haven't explained these terms and my position plenty of times already. Go ahead, mate, behave like you're over 13 years old!
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Jul 5, 2010 20:57
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Lykourgos posted:This thread attracts some of the best trolls in the business; hope everybody is taking notes
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Jul 5, 2010 21:33
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I don't know, I wouldn't really express it in classist terms but I kind of agree, TV lawyers and billboards and poo poo make me puke.
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Jul 6, 2010 00:04
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BigHead posted:I officially spent all of July 4th doing BarBri poo poo. God I hate law school, even when I've graduated law school. I watched fireworks on the deck of an atrocious riverfront bar that served Corona in aluminum cans and ended the night dry heaving into the hotel toilet BarBri resumes tomorrow
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Jul 6, 2010 00:13
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Lykourgos posted:Because it is shameful and low class. If your whole world can be boiled down to an economic calculation, then how many dollars does it cost for you to take a gun and kill yourself? Goddammit, I was doing such a good job of avoiding dipshit flame wars. a) if you take a gun and kill yourself, you can't spend the money you just got, so that's just dumb. A better example might be how much it might take you to the turn the gun on somebody else! b) And for the love of Christ, I'm not even bothering to reply to the rest of this crap. Here's a wikipedia link that will do it for me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reductio_ad_absurdum
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Jul 6, 2010 00:28
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Linguica posted:I witnessed at least 5 instances of bros icing bros This game took over my lacrosse team and probably contributed a lot to my overall negligence regarding law school. Half these bros now work at various investment banks in NYC. I plan on extending the game to some of my classmates who aren't locked in the library this next year, maybe they too can get a job when they attain "bro" status.
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Jul 6, 2010 00:31
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Daico posted:Goddammit, I was doing such a good job of avoiding dipshit flame wars. oh my, so you mean there's something higher than profit margins?  quote:b) And for the love of Christ, I'm not even bothering to reply to the rest of this crap. Here's a wikipedia link that will do it for me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reductio_ad_absurdum you're going to need to actually explain your point, champ, otherwise my response is "you're wrong, https://www.google.com"
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Jul 6, 2010 01:44
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On the scale of "high class" vs "low class" behaviors, I wonder where constantly informing everyone else that they're low class and you're not falls.
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Jul 6, 2010 01:51
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Lykourgos posted:you're going to need to actually explain your point, champ, otherwise my response is "you're wrong, https://www.google.com" My, what wit.
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Jul 6, 2010 01:57
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bleep bloop i want to be a lawyer to churn out x>y profit, where x is money made and y is money spent on hookers and blow bleep bloop
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Jul 6, 2010 01:57
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Alaemon posted:On the scale of "high class" vs "low class" behaviors, I wonder where constantly informing everyone else that they're low class and you're not falls. High class, obviously. What's the point of being classy if you can't rub everyone else's nose in it? Have you ever even read The Great Gatsby? Ainsley McTree fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Jul 6, 2010 |
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Jul 6, 2010 02:02
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Articling interview with a personal injury firm tomorrow. Any words of advice?
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Jul 6, 2010 02:12
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soj89 posted:Articling interview with a personal injury firm tomorrow. Any words of advice? Tell them you are a "high class" lawyer and therefore "rank high" in the "hierarchy" of lawyers! Tell them you will not be a part of an advertising law firm because it would "lower" your "rank" among the "lawyer hierarchy". (Use a lot of air quotes)
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Jul 6, 2010 05:33
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Do you have a gold tooth? If not, consider painting a tooth gold for the interview. Also, use the phrase "I'm just a simple country lawyer, but..." liberally throughout the interview.
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Jul 6, 2010 06:12
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HooKars posted:
super late edit: Thank you I'll just assume that the rest of you were thinking it but just didn't get around to posting it like me
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Jul 6, 2010 06:45
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Had the cops called on my friends and me three times yesterday, managed to not get anyone arrested. The work of a lawyer is never done.
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Jul 6, 2010 06:55
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Grumblefish you didn't respond to my Pythagoras reference I am disappointed.
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Jul 6, 2010 11:20
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Query: how can lawyers be low class, when the very act of passing the bar puts you in the highest class of all?
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Jul 6, 2010 14:59
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HooKars posted:Okay everyone. Let's try REALLY hard to help me get this job. I know we went over good questions to ask during interviews awhile back but does anyone have any other good ones - specifically for someone not entering the summer program. If I were you I would want to know the following things: 1. How is work assigned? 2. Are you being hired by the department or are you going to work for a particular partner. Often laterals are brought on to work with a particular partner. 3. What kind of work will you be doing. Ideally you would know the general answer before interviewing but if it's litigation what is the process for this particular kind of litigation and are you going to be doing doc review or sent around the country taking depositions or researching and writing briefs. 4. How many associates that were up for partner made partner? 5. How many years is the partner track and has it been extended recently? (ex. Simpson used to be 8 years and now is 47 years). (6. How many hours per year are you expected to bill to remain in good standing. This is a dangerous question and if you're going to ask it you have to make it absolutely clear that you want to work and will bleed yourself dry for them but that you're only concerned because at your last job you were assigned to work in finance and then through no fault of your own the hours just weren't there.) Is this position transactional or litigation? entris posted:I love lawyers who dislike advertising, because it means that I can treat my law firm like a normal business and out-compete them. The billboard thing varies a lot by market, but I agree that lawyers are terrible at business and need a significant paradigm shift. CaptainScraps posted:My friends bought $100 worth of fireworks, mostly mortars. Now, my friends are idiots. They purposely didn't buy a mortar tube. Instead, they would light the drat things and throw them in the yard to watch them explode, only a few feet from spectators. Mortar protip: mortars come in different sizes. Basically they are balls of fireworks with a fuse. Big ones are three connected balls with a long fuse, little ones are one ball with a short fuse and medium ones are two balls with a medium fuse. The big ones also come with a longer tube. What you do is put a big firework in the big tube, then put a medium or small firework on top of the big one. Twist their fuses together and use a big lighter so that you're sure you get both of them at once. Then light and run away. You can thank me next fourth of July. Green Crayons posted:bleep bloop i want to be a lawyer to churn out x>y profit, where x is money made and y is money spent on hookers and blow bleep bloop When can you start? billion dollar bitch posted:Query: how can lawyers be low class, when the very act of passing the bar puts you in the highest class of all? Practice in NJ.
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Jul 6, 2010 15:04
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builds character posted:If I were you I would want to know the following things: Adding to this, ask about a couple of recent major clients - they will give you a sense of the sort of work the firm does. If, for example, they rattle off Microsoft, Amazon, Apple, and Google, you know what you're getting into. Similarly if they say AIG, State Farm, Met Life, etc.
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Jul 6, 2010 15:41
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builds character posted:Is this position transactional or litigation? Transactional. Thanks for the list (you too Mookie) - I didn't know that laterals often just work with a particular partner so that's good to know. I actually don't know much about what I'm even interviewing for because I never applied for any particular position. My resume got forwarded there through a friend and a partner contacted me telling me to come in for an interview (lunch then office visit). He's in transactional - finance type stuff again - so I'm assuming that's what it is. Nothing on their website up or that I can actually find online about an open position there. Hopefully that means I don't have a lot of competition.
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Jul 6, 2010 16:06
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Hey question for you guys, maybe a suitchat question. I'm meeting with a lawyer at the end of the week for coffee, and it's just a networking/let's talk about the lay of the land/let me pick your brain/I can't give you a job but I might know someone who can type meeting, not really sure what the appropriate dress is. I was thinking business casual, wearing a suit feels like overkill but a t-shirt and jeans is for losers who haven't passed the bar yet. What say you, single female lawyer?
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Jul 6, 2010 16:28
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Peaked lapels, side vents, oxfords that you can see yourself in. French cuffs if your sleeves are wide, buttons if they're narrow.
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Jul 6, 2010 16:30
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