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Doctor Zero
Sep 21, 2002

Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.


That is the most depressing loving story ever.

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Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Doctor Zero posted:

That is the most depressing loving story ever.

Watch it on Youtube:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

fritz
Jul 26, 2003

Doctor Zero posted:

That is the most depressing loving story ever.

I'm not responsible for depressions.

jeremiah johnson
Nov 3, 2007

coffeetable posted:

I read a short story online years ago about two scientists that invent a acausal computer, and use it to simulate the universe. The point of interest is that the simulation simulates another universe, and an infinite regress occurs - in both directions, so when the scientists spawn a black sphere behind the scientists in simulated universe, one also appears behind them.

Anyway has anyone got a link to it because I want to beat the people calling Inception a mindfuck around the head with it.

http://qntm.org/responsibility

regulargonzalez
Aug 18, 2006
UNGH LET ME LICK THOSE BOOTS DADDY HULU ;-* ;-* ;-* YES YES GIVE ME ALL THE CORPORATE CUMMIES :shepspends: :shepspends: :shepspends: ADBLOCK USERS DESERVE THE DEATH PENALTY, DON'T THEY DADDY?
WHEN THE RICH GET RICHER I GET HORNIER :a2m::a2m::a2m::a2m:

Short story that I read at least 15 years ago. There's some kind of magic charm that's been around for centuries. Whoever owns it finds that they come into wealth and power, or something along those lines. Napoleon owned it at one point. Two catches to it: if you die while you are the owner of this charm (might have been a coin now that I think about it), your soul is damned to hell (or something similar); and, you must sell it for less than you paid for it. May be one additional catch, that after you relinquish ownership you end up losing all your wealth and power (hence, Napoleon sold it and then lost at Waterloo). So the price of this item has been steadily decreasing throughout the ages. IIRC, our protagonist buys it, sells it, has misfortune and ends up buying it again some years later, the price is now very low (like 2 cents or something) ... and who's going to buy it at one cent, since they won't be able to sell it and will be damned to hell*

Eventually, foreign currencies worth less than a penny (and the man's girlfriend) come into play. Don't remember exactly how it ends, though. It was a fun and interesting idea and I'd like to read it again if anyone knows the name of this story.


*which incidentally makes an interesting line of thought ... so the guy who buys it at two cents knows he can't sell it, so a rational person would never buy it at 2 cents. Therefore, the person who buys it at 3 cents knows that no rational person will buy it at two cents and so a rational person would never buy it at 3 cents ... and so on.

bengraven
Sep 17, 2009

by VideoGames
Mine might be hard:

It's a Choose Your Own Adventure-like book.

The cover was an armored (I keep seeing Trojan-like armor), possibly lazer gun wielding man riding a horse or some other creature, firing up at something. It took place on an alien planet and I remember it being fairly complex for a CYOA style book - I don't think I ever actually "beat" it, even by cheating. I remember it had a map as well.

That is all the details I have, it's been killing me since I read it - which would have been before 1993.

bengraven fucked around with this message at 02:44 on Jul 20, 2010

coffeetable
Feb 5, 2006

TELL ME AGAIN HOW GREAT BRITAIN WOULD BE IF IT WAS RULED BY THE MERCILESS JACKBOOT OF PRINCE CHARLES

YES I DO TALK TO PLANTS ACTUALLY

jeremiah johnson posted:

http://qntm.org/responsibility

holy poo poo yes exactly that

thankyou kindly :)

Bloodly
Nov 3, 2008

Not as strong as you'd expect.
Am trying to relocate a short story, or perhaps the book it came from-it was part of a collection. I miss the story, and wish to read it, but the book fell to pieces years ago, and finding the story again will likely be difficult. I know the plot almost by heart, but the wording was strong. Tghere's a strong difference between knowing the plot and reading the words, after all.

I believe it was called 'Quest', though I may be wrong.

---

The plot is as follows:

A Man in a megalopolis-type place is trying to find something natural, something real. He follows official channels, but doesn't get anywhere; the guy he's talking to is a robot and blows up from not understanding the question. he's advised to go to a certain office, but he rejects that. He takes lifts down as far as he can go, deep into the earth. He's unsatified as all of it's just storerooms; no bare earth or anything. So he tries walking, looking for a patch of grass, a single flower, anything. He goes 2-3 days before collapsing, and is taken in by local police, who are more shocked that he tried walking. Since he did try official channels, he's given a hovercar.

So he tries to go up to maximum height and out; the City must have an end! And after some time flying, the City gets lower and lower, turning into suburbs....when a SECOND City starts appearing before him. Our man's in despair: is there nothing real, nothing natural? He turns in a random direction, seeking....and suddenly he finds a giant park. Maybe if he'd gone to that office he'd been taken here immediately? But that would take away the sheer joy he feels at finding the place.

Anyway, he walks around, simply enjoying the plants, animals, flowers....and meets one old man. Does he maintain the place? No, there are robots that work by night to help. They talk further.

Finally, our man leaves, and tries to pick a flower. "You must not pick the flowers" Old Man says. Our hero feels angered at that, and picks the flower....which shrivels into plastic, metal tubes sinking into the earth.

It's a fake.

It's ALL fake.

You thought he was angry before? Now he's homocidal. He attacks the Old Man, beating him until skin and flesh tears to show metal and wires; the old man's a fake, too. Agents of the City show up to bring him home, now he's had his fun, seen 'real'. Our Hero is unwilling to return. He rips up the flowerbed and slashes himself. As the Last Real Man, he can still do something: He can DIE!...

...No he can't.

His blood drains out, but he still exists.

He's a robot, too. As much a fake as the park is.

He cries over the 'death of all things real'. As the agents 'cancel his soulless life' with an ion gun.


---

Sound familiar at all?

McCoy Pauley
Mar 2, 2006
Gonna eat so many goddamn crumpets.
When I was a kid I had this large format hardcover book about Irish mythology with, as I recall, a lot of large, very detailed paintings of various mythological people: Balor of the Evil Eye, Cu Chulainn, Lugh, various stuff related to the Tuatha Dé Danann, etc. I think I'm remembering correctly that it was a large format hardcover -- something along the lines of The Encylopedia of Things That Never Were (which I think I owned at around the same time -- sometime during the 80s, I guess). It definitely had these big paintings and drawings of things like Lugh casting a stone into Balor's eye and Cu Chulainn slaying Culann's hound.

Anyone have any ideas?

xcheopis
Jul 23, 2003


regulargonzalez posted:

Short story that I read at least 15 years ago. There's some kind of magic charm that's been around for centuries. Whoever owns it finds that they come into wealth and power, or something along those lines. Napoleon owned it at one point. Two catches to it: if you die while you are the owner of this charm (might have been a coin now that I think about it), your soul is damned to hell (or something similar); and, you must sell it for less than you paid for it. May be one additional catch, that after you relinquish ownership you end up losing all your wealth and power (hence, Napoleon sold it and then lost at Waterloo). So the price of this item has been steadily decreasing throughout the ages. IIRC, our protagonist buys it, sells it, has misfortune and ends up buying it again some years later, the price is now very low (like 2 cents or something) ... and who's going to buy it at one cent, since they won't be able to sell it and will be damned to hell*

Eventually, foreign currencies worth less than a penny (and the man's girlfriend) come into play. Don't remember exactly how it ends, though. It was a fun and interesting idea and I'd like to read it again if anyone knows the name of this story.


*which incidentally makes an interesting line of thought ... so the guy who buys it at two cents knows he can't sell it, so a rational person would never buy it at 2 cents. Therefore, the person who buys it at 3 cents knows that no rational person will buy it at two cents and so a rational person would never buy it at 3 cents ... and so on.

It's your fault that I unpacked two boxes of books. You are totally to blame. Totally. The Bottle Imp by Robert L. Stevenson

*puts book back in box*

regulargonzalez
Aug 18, 2006
UNGH LET ME LICK THOSE BOOTS DADDY HULU ;-* ;-* ;-* YES YES GIVE ME ALL THE CORPORATE CUMMIES :shepspends: :shepspends: :shepspends: ADBLOCK USERS DESERVE THE DEATH PENALTY, DON'T THEY DADDY?
WHEN THE RICH GET RICHER I GET HORNIER :a2m::a2m::a2m::a2m:

xcheopis posted:

It's your fault that I unpacked two boxes of books. You are totally to blame. Totally. The Bottle Imp by Robert L. Stevenson

*puts book back in box*
Thank you!

StickySweater
Feb 7, 2008
Edit: Nevermind.

StickySweater fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Jul 22, 2010

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

coffeetable posted:

I read a short story online years ago about two scientists that invent a acausal computer, and use it to simulate the universe. The point of interest is that the simulation simulates another universe, and an infinite regress occurs - in both directions, so when the scientists spawn a black sphere behind the scientists in simulated universe, one also appears behind them.

http://everything2.com/title/I+don%2527t+know%252C+Timmy%252C+being+God+is+a+big+responsibility

Jay Milo
Oct 4, 2006
Your Hero!
I remember reading a series of sci fi novels in junior high involving an alien race invading earth and the only weapons we had that could penetrate their shields were bows and arrows. Everyone I know who also read it in school can't remember the name of it either, it's been driving us mad for years. I also remember something about them being gold, or shiny or something like that.

Help me Book Barn your my only hope.

anti-ela
Mar 22, 2010

"Like, oh my god! All I said is you're ugly, which is true!" Adventure Time!
I read this book around '97-'00. It was written by a male English teacher with white hair and glasses. (I know; this totally narrows it down.)

It's about a high school kid whose life is essentially invaded by fairies. His baby brother/sister is stolen by them and replaced with a chain-smoking changeling, so he has to go on a quest of sorts to get his sibling back, since he was supposed to be babysitting. I don't remember much about it, but there was one scene where a fairy that had stolen his identity and looks was trying to buy cigarettes at a convenience store, and the main character gets in trouble for it after walking in a few minutes later.

Sorry if that's too vague. Thank you for the help. (:

xcheopis
Jul 23, 2003


Jay Milo posted:

I remember reading a series of sci fi novels in junior high involving an alien race invading earth and the only weapons we had that could penetrate their shields were bows and arrows. Everyone I know who also read it in school can't remember the name of it either, it's been driving us mad for years. I also remember something about them being gold, or shiny or something like that.

Help me Book Barn your my only hope.
It might be one of the examples given here. (Page down to 'Literature'.)

RandomEffects
Apr 3, 2004

"That's not why people watch TV. Clever things make people feel stupid and unexpected things make them feel scared."

Jay Milo posted:

I remember reading a series of sci fi novels in junior high involving an alien race invading earth and the only weapons we had that could penetrate their shields were bows and arrows. Everyone I know who also read it in school can't remember the name of it either, it's been driving us mad for years. I also remember something about them being gold, or shiny or something like that.

Help me Book Barn your my only hope.

probably not it, But in the Tripods Series they eventually defeat the aliens by dropping bombs from hot air balloons. don't remember if there was any bows and arrows though. We also beat them with booze! Go Earth!!!

I only think of this because it was a popular book for many kids due to the Boys life comic version of it.

HeroOfTheRevolution
Apr 26, 2008

I read this book maybe 8 or 9 years ago... I think it took place in kind of an alternate fantasy steampunkish Earth, and there were airships, and one character was a gunslinger who escaped from a monastery (in alternate America, maybe?) where they taught people how to be gunslingers. The story was pretty engrossing but honestly I can't remember the title or the author for the life of me. I was like 14 at the time too so it might be terrible trash relatively speaking too.

lemonlime
May 1, 2008

When I was a little girl about 15 years ago, I read a sci-fi novel that I remember as being a story of Japan vs. Europe: In Space! There was one scene where the Japanese warship is conducting drills testing the response time of crew members, and at the end of the drill, the bridge member who had the highest (worst) response time was given a laxative pill by the captain and made to get into a space suit, which was then towed by its umbilical behind the ship. The captain listened to the bridge member sing Frank Sinatra's "My Way" until the man began to have audible diarrhea and then turned the intercom off.

:psypop:The scene was supposed to illustrate the mighty samurai's unswerving devotion to duty, I guess. There was a lot of description of traditional Japanese etiquette scattered throughout the novel as well.

This recollection of mine seems fantastic and recently I've been struck with the urge to reread the book to see if it's really as frightening as I remember. I can't remember the author or the title so I've had no luck at the library or the used book stores I frequent. Help?

discworld is all I read
Apr 7, 2009

DAIJOUBU!! ... Daijoubu ?? ?
This might have been asked before, or at least I vaguely remember a GBS thread being made about it, but there was a book written by just a random guy. Some long and winding science fiction novel involving child soldiers, and it was never published. In fact it seemed like he never meant for anyone else to see it, but it got found after his death. I wish I could remember more but it was just such an odd idea, and it was apparently like a 2000 page book. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

SlayVus
Jul 10, 2009
Grimey Drawer
Okay, so I'm trying to find a series of books that I read several years ago and my memories of the books are VERY sketchy.

Some of the book takes place in like a demon world where you have to take some type of magic portal to get to and there is a giant bazaar in the world there. I think the cover of the book had like a teen in a green tunic brushing a white unicorn in a stable...

I'm sorry, I don't remember a lot, it's been probably over 8-9 years.

NinjaDebugger
Apr 22, 2008


SlayVus posted:

Okay, so I'm trying to find a series of books that I read several years ago and my memories of the books are VERY sketchy.

Some of the book takes place in like a demon world where you have to take some type of magic portal to get to and there is a giant bazaar in the world there. I think the cover of the book had like a teen in a green tunic brushing a white unicorn in a stable...

I'm sorry, I don't remember a lot, it's been probably over 8-9 years.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MythAdventures

Doctor Zero
Sep 21, 2002

Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

I found one of the books I was looking for. I was in a used bookshop and there it was just sitting there. So I bought it for a buck and I am happy again to again own the worst book I've ever finished reading (there are a couple worse books I've read, but I never finished them.).

It's Armada by Michael Jahn. I highly recommend getting it for a few cents somewhere and checking it out. It's seriously terrible, but in a good way. I can't fathom the glowing reviews that some people are giving it, but whatever.

Detective Thompson
Nov 9, 2007

Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. is also in repose.

Niggurath posted:

This might have been asked before, or at least I vaguely remember a GBS thread being made about it, but there was a book written by just a random guy. Some long and winding science fiction novel involving child soldiers, and it was never published. In fact it seemed like he never meant for anyone else to see it, but it got found after his death. I wish I could remember more but it was just such an odd idea, and it was apparently like a 2000 page book. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Sounds like The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What is Known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion, which comes in at 15,143 pages. Henry Darger was a crazy dude. I think maybe it was published once in a very limited run, but I'm not sure about it. There was a documentary made a few years ago called In The Realms Of The Unreal. Pretty interesting.

Deep Winter
Mar 26, 2010
Awhile back I was I picked out a random book at BooksAMillion, and I believe it was an anthology horror book. One story was about a golem (or golem-like) creature coming to a Private Investigator for help. In this story, golems are slave-like subhuman creatures with few rights, and when the golem is accused of murder (or something), he doesn't get a trial, so he wants the P.I.s help to prove his innocence.


Yep.

Behonkiss
Feb 10, 2005
Just posted this in Ask/Tell:

I read a collection of short stories back in middle or high school, and one of them stuck with me due to its creepiness and has popped up in my thoughts every now and then. I've decided to look into it.

The story is told from a single mother's point of view, starting out with her describing life with her son and how wonderful he is. Around the point he becomes a teenager, she finds out their cat has been killed by fireworks being lit while shoved up its rear end. The boy seems sad at first, but there are later signs that he may be responsible. Various things that I can't remember happen throughout the story that I can't exactly remember, but they boil down to increasingly more obvious hints that they boy is secretly a sadistic monster when she's not around. By the time he's an adult, she confronts him and wants him to tell her the truth about all these events. He gives a very creepy and threatening speech that causes her to run upstairs and lock herself in her room until the next day, where she finds he's gone for good. She becomes a recluse due to her fear of him returning, and later sees him running for senator on TV.

Does anyone have any idea what this is? I'm hoping it's not some super-obscure thing written by a local author in my area, but I remember reading it from a full paperback book, so it was probably in mass print at one point.

VAGENDA OF MANOCIDE
Aug 1, 2004

whoa, what just happened here?







College Slice
Back in the early 90s I read one book (out of a series of 4, at the time I read it, I think, which were trashy sci fi novels), involving a male main character, a silver female character, and a silver male character which was amusingly named Peterbilt.

Can anyone id this? I only vaguely remembered this series because I was thinking about books I was reading at the same time I was reading the Castle Perilous books ... which since I was basically checking them out of a poor public library, meant I only read about 2-3 of them out of 8, I remembered THOSE being fun.

Default User
Mar 30, 2010
I used to adore this book where there's some sort of end of the world scenario, and all the kids are left without adults or civilization. This girl takes charge of a group, and they fortify a school against the roaming gangs of feral kids. What the the hell book is this?

Hedrigall
Mar 27, 2008

by vyelkin

Deep Winter posted:

Awhile back I was I picked out a random book at BooksAMillion, and I believe it was an anthology horror book. One story was about a golem (or golem-like) creature coming to a Private Investigator for help. In this story, golems are slave-like subhuman creatures with few rights, and when the golem is accused of murder (or something), he doesn't get a trial, so he wants the P.I.s help to prove his innocence.


Yep.

Girl In Pieces by Graham Edwards. Here's a link to his website with info on where to read the story:
http://grahamedwardsonline.co.uk/girlinpieces.html

He has 4 other stories in the same series, featuring the same PI:
http://grahamedwardsonline.co.uk/stories.html
(The Wooden Baby, Dead Wolf In A Hat [which is free to read online], Syren and Still Point)

He also wrote the Stone Trilogy which i sperged about in the OP here:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3307757

superv0zz
Jun 24, 2006

Touch it.
I've been trying to find this short story forever.. it's about a kid living in the future and people have stopped going outside.. they use these teleporters to get from point A to B and he's scared that the power will shut off and he'll be half here and half there.

He finally goes outside and shows up at school with boots covered in mud and everyone starts going outside again. I read this in grade 8 or so so it may be in a kids reader or something.

Action Jacktion
Jun 3, 2003

superv0zz posted:

I've been trying to find this short story forever.. it's about a kid living in the future and people have stopped going outside.. they use these teleporters to get from point A to B and he's scared that the power will shut off and he'll be half here and half there.

He finally goes outside and shows up at school with boots covered in mud and everyone starts going outside again. I read this in grade 8 or so so it may be in a kids reader or something.
"It's Such a Beautiful Day" by Isaac Asimov.

Magnetar
Mar 29, 2010

by I Ozma Myself
I read this book 20 years ago or so. It starts with a guy that discovers a tunnel in the ground that goes down in a subtle slope, it has round walls so it doesen't look natural. He decides to follow the tunnel (with a buddy?) and they walk down for two or three days, with flashlights, etc. After that, they arrive at a city where they meet people and see weird technology. I don't remember that well but I think the walls emmited light using a fluid much like that of glow-worms.

Finally they want to return to the outside world, but they find a force-field blocking the tunnel. The field consists of an invisible "wall" made by slowing the passage of time, for example they can move their hands through it, but they can only move them very slowly, because time itself moves slowly in that spot. They infer that the barrier was down accidentally when they descended and now it is up again. They panic because they think they are trapped forever in the hidden city.

Later they escape to the surface interrupting this "slower-time shield", I think using electricity.

Does this ring any bells?

superv0zz
Jun 24, 2006

Touch it.

Action Jacktion posted:

"It's Such a Beautiful Day" by Isaac Asimov.

You're my hero!

wheatpuppy
Apr 25, 2008

YOU HAVE MY POST!

Default User posted:

I used to adore this book where there's some sort of end of the world scenario, and all the kids are left without adults or civilization. This girl takes charge of a group, and they fortify a school against the roaming gangs of feral kids. What the the hell book is this?

The Girl Who Owned a City by O.T. Nelson.

Deep Winter
Mar 26, 2010

Hedrigall posted:

Girl In Pieces by Graham Edwards. Here's a link to his website with info on where to read the story:
http://grahamedwardsonline.co.uk/girlinpieces.html

He has 4 other stories in the same series, featuring the same PI:
http://grahamedwardsonline.co.uk/stories.html
(The Wooden Baby, Dead Wolf In A Hat [which is free to read online], Syren and Still Point)

He also wrote the Stone Trilogy which i sperged about in the OP here:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3307757

From your first Link,

quote:

Girl in Pieces was nominated for a Nebula Award and appears in Ellen Datlow's anthology The Best Horror of the Year Volume One.

That's probably what I'm looking for, thanks! Also, that thread you linked caught my eye, and I've been meaning to look into those books. Thanks also for the reminded.

discworld is all I read
Apr 7, 2009

DAIJOUBU!! ... Daijoubu ?? ?

Detective Thompson posted:

Sounds like The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What is Known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion, which comes in at 15,143 pages. Henry Darger was a crazy dude. I think maybe it was published once in a very limited run, but I'm not sure about it. There was a documentary made a few years ago called In The Realms Of The Unreal. Pretty interesting.

Thank you so much; this is exactly what I was looking for.

Jack the Lad
Jan 20, 2009

Feed the Pubs

Here's one that's been bugging me lately, I hope you guys can help.

I read an awesome book a while ago which was written from several perspectives, about this spirit which possesses people and goes around the world living their lives and also an AI program which had secretly taken over the world and was stopping all the scientists from seeing the impending (meteor?) disaster because he's decided, as AIs do, that humanity needs to be wiped out or something. Oh and there's some weird cult which may or may not have mental powers and plan to eventually take over the world using yogic fliers.

..This is a terrible description, but I hope someone recognises it. It was a pretty deep and interesting book, not at all as wacky as I just made it sound.

Dr. Fancypants
Dec 18, 2003

:siren::siren::siren::siren::siren:
SOMETIMES
I LIKE
TAFFY
:siren::siren::siren::siren::siren:
Science fiction story. Astronauts (or someone?) find a bunch of brains that have been sitting in jars with nothing to do for thousands of years but think. The astronauts (?) put them out of their misery by smashing the jars on the ground and I remember a line about the brains blessing them with their final thoughts for putting them out of their misery.

I wanna say it was Heinlein or Bradbury but I'm not sure.

hallo spacedog
Apr 3, 2007

this chaos is killing me
💫🐕🔪😱😱

My friend kept recommending me a science-fiction/fantasy series that I know is somewhat popular or at least well known, but I cannot for the life of me remember the name or enough salient details to do a reliable search for it online.

All I remember is that it involves dragons fighting in aerial wars. I want to say they are either fighting alongside airships or something like it, or fighting against said airships.

If anyone has any clue what this series might be (or if it is even actually worth reading, I ask because I'm truly hard up for things worth reading nowadays,) based on my terribly vague description, it would be a great help. Time-wise, I'm fairly sure the series started in the past 10 years or so. Late '90s at the very earliest.

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VAGENDA OF MANOCIDE
Aug 1, 2004

whoa, what just happened here?







College Slice

hallo spacedog posted:

My friend kept recommending me a science-fiction/fantasy series that I know is somewhat popular or at least well known, but I cannot for the life of me remember the name or enough salient details to do a reliable search for it online.

All I remember is that it involves dragons fighting in aerial wars. I want to say they are either fighting alongside airships or something like it, or fighting against said airships.

If anyone has any clue what this series might be (or if it is even actually worth reading, I ask because I'm truly hard up for things worth reading nowadays,) based on my terribly vague description, it would be a great help. Time-wise, I'm fairly sure the series started in the past 10 years or so. Late '90s at the very earliest.

Could be this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temeraire_%28series%29

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