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And don't be afraid to mix elements from several pre-written ceremonies and add your own things in too if that's important to you! Our officiant had a huge binder, so I went through various ceremonies that ran close to what we wanted (secular, but not screaming 'non-religious ceremony', combined different parts of them and then added in some quotes/vows that we both liked to make it uniquely ours. Look online for some inspiration too 
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Jul 20, 2010 00:49
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| # ? May 25, 2024 06:43 |
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Here's what our ceremony looked like...We did have a couple of generic prayers, but it was pretty much secular. Opening Remarks We are gathered here today out of affection for Jessica and Brad we have gathered together to witness and bless their mutual vows which will unite them in marriage. To this moment they bring the fullness of their hearts as a treasure to share with one another. They bring the dreams which bind them together. They bring that particular personality and spirit which is uniquely their own, and out of which will grow the reality of their life together. We rejoice with them as the outward symbol of an inward union of hearts, a union created by friendship, respect and love Presentation of Jessica: Although we go forth from the homes of our childhood, we never outgrow the special love and support of our parents. When a father presents his daughter in marriage, he is honoring the covenant into which she is entering and gives his and her mothers promise of loving support. With that understanding, I ask, "Who presents this woman to be married to this man"? Her mother and I do *Our officiant talked a little bit about marriage & what we mean to each other, but it's a little long to post here* Expression of Intent Brad, the woman who stands by your side is about to become your wife. She will look to you for gentleness, for support, for understanding, for encouragement and for protection. You must never take Jessica for granted, but be continually sensitive to her needs. Your life and love will be Jessica's greatest source of joy. So I ask you, Brad, will you have Jessica, to be your lawfully wedded wife? Will you love her, and cherish her? Will you always uphold her and encourage her? Will you be loyal to her, and true? Will you honor her all her days, and be respectful of her, and will you promise to always to bestow upon her your heart's deepest devotion? If so you may answer, I will. Brad: I will. Jessica, the man who stands by your side is about to become your husband. He will look to you for gentleness, for support, for understanding, for protection and encouragement. You must never take Brad for granted, but be continually sensitive to his needs. Your life and love will be Brad's greatest source of joy. So I ask you, Jessica, will you have Brad, to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you love him, and cherish him? Will you always uphold him and encourage him? Will you be loyal to him, and true? Will you honor him all his days, and be respectful of him? And will you promise to always bestow upon him your heart's deepest devotion? If so you may answer I will. Jessica: I will. Vows Today, Jessica, I join my life to yours, not merely as your husband, but as your friend, your lover, and your confidant. Let me be the shoulder you lean on, the rock on which you rest, the companion of your life. With you I will walk my path from this day forward. Exchange of Rings What symbols do you bring as a reminder of the promises given and received today? Response: A Ring Our wedding rings are circles and circles are the symbol of the Sun, and the Earth, and the universe. It is a symbol of holiness, and of perfection and peace. It is also the symbol of the eternality of spiritual truth, love, and life . . . that which has no beginning and no end. And in this moment, Jessica and Brad choose for it to also be a symbol of unity, but not of possession; of joining, but not of restricting; of encirclement, but not of entrapment. For love cannot be possessed, nor can it be restricted. And the soul can never be entrapped. These rings are symbols of the love that joins you spirit to spirit. They represent the oneness, eternity, and renewal inherent in your marriage union. May these rings serve to remind you of the freedom and power of your love. Now Brad and Jessica, please take these rings you wish to give, one to the other, and repeat your ring vows after me... Bless, Oh God, these rings, that they who give them, and they who wear them may abide in Thy peace - remembering their vows unto their lifes end. Brad puts rings on Jessicas hand: I give you this ring as a symbol of our unity, love, respect and trust. May my heart be your shelter and my arms your home. May we walk together through all things. May you feel deeply loved, for indeed you are. With this ring I give you my heart. I have no greater gift to give. Benediction May the dreams you share bring you hope. May the beliefs you share bring you peace. And wherever you are in your journey through life, may your hearts always find their way home. And as I am so very privileged to bring you together in marriage today, I have a personal wish for both of you. My wish is that many, many years from now you are able to look back on your life together - pleased, satisfied, and fulfilled - and that you are able to look at one another and say: With you, I have lived the life Ive always wanted to live - with you, I have become the person I always longed to be. Jessica and Brad - by the love that has brought you here today, by the vows you have exchanged and by the integrity of your commitment in the presence of your dearest family and friends, it is my pleasure and my honor to pronounce you husband and wife.
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Jul 20, 2010 01:30
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At my cousin's wedding, she gave a rose to his mom and he gave a rose to her mom (my aunt). It was really touching. Another option with secular ceremonies is to incorporate elements from your ethnic heritage. If you're both gemanic-anglo mutts descended from the founding fathers it might be a little hard, but if you have grandparents who are Italian, Indian, Scottish, Greek, Chinese, whatever, there's lots of cultural wedding traditions you can include in your ceremony.
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Jul 20, 2010 07:42
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All that worrying for nothing. The wedding was pretty much perfect - besides a lackluster DJ that played Justin Bieber about five times. A few pics:     Standing on tables is fun.
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Jul 20, 2010 07:44
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leidend posted:All that worrying for nothing. The wedding was pretty much perfect - besides a lackluster DJ that played Justin Bieber about five times. A few pics: Congratulations!! I love the pics, especially this one. Very cool. 
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Jul 20, 2010 14:19
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Eggplant Wizard posted:(read in translation of course) I'm disappointed in you. But I think the magician idea is fantastic.
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Jul 20, 2010 16:38
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So I've been trying not to worry to much about my wedding and reception which is in three weeks. But I guess subconsciously I am more worried than I think. I keep having dreams (not scary enough to be nightmares) where stuff goes horribly wrong. Is this normal? lol
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Jul 20, 2010 22:12
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Awesome Kristin posted:So I've been trying not to worry to much about my wedding and reception which is in three weeks. But I guess subconsciously I am more worried than I think. I keep having dreams (not scary enough to be nightmares) where stuff goes horribly wrong. Any time I start worrying about stuff going wrong, I just remind myself that there is ALWAYS an easy plan B if anything does happen. Cake didn't get delivered? Run to the grocery store and get cupcakes and sheet cakes. Dress got stained by careless relative who dropped coffee all over it thirty seconds before I'm supposed to walk down the aisle? I'll wear my MOH's dress. Parking garage have part of the facade collapse, closing the parking garage and putting the location of my event in jeopardy? Oh wait, that already happened. In other words, no matter what happens, at the end of the day you'll still be married. (And yes, it's normal to have those kinds of dreams! I had one recently where my officiant turned out to be a mob thug who got caught up in gang business during my ceremony.)
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Jul 20, 2010 22:36
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Awesome Kristin posted:So I've been trying not to worry to much about my wedding and reception which is in three weeks. But I guess subconsciously I am more worried than I think. I keep having dreams (not scary enough to be nightmares) where stuff goes horribly wrong. I did this, expected several horribly embarrassing moments throughout the evening (couldn't even watch the wedding episodes of The Office since it made me too jittery), and my veteran wedding planner said at the end of the night it was the smoothest-running wedding she's ever experienced. Everything goes by in such a blur you have no time to dwell on anything anyway.
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Jul 20, 2010 22:48
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Caerulius posted:I'm disappointed in you. I think it would be incredibly alienating and pretentious to do readings in a language that a) nearly all of the audience can't understand and b) has no ritual/cultural significance to the couple (unlike, e.g., a Latin mass or maybe a Greek prayer for a Greek orthodox family or a Hebrew prayer for a Jew, etc.). That said, doing it in both original & translation might be okay. And I'm glad SOMEONE else does. Eggplant Wizard fucked around with this message at 23:02 on Jul 20, 2010 |
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Jul 20, 2010 22:59
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I guess I will just deal with the dreams and try to appreciate the weirdness of them.
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Jul 20, 2010 23:01
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I was proposed to on Friday so now I can post in here! Yay! First thing, obligatory ring picture: He had it custom made from me in England, (we're in Orlando) and I LOVE it. A sapphire in the middle, two accent diamonds, all conflict-free. I was never a fan of diamonds and drat, he really did a nice job with the design aspects. For those who are interested, he wrote a song to propose and teamed up with a voice actor friend of his to create it: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6085548/Chase%20n%27%20Matt%20-%20How%20I%20Feel.mp3 It's been a few days and we've been looking at bunch of wedding sites, etsy, etc. I think we've committed to eloping somewhere and having a reception when we get back. We don't like the idea of the traditional (even secular) ceremony with a bunch of people staring at us. We've talked mainly about Europe (Italy and Greece, mostly) so we can combine a honeymoon into the trip as well. Any thoughts?
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Jul 20, 2010 23:40
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Flootloop posted:It's been a few days and we've been looking at bunch of wedding sites, etsy, etc. I think we've committed to eloping somewhere and having a reception when we get back. We don't like the idea of the traditional (even secular) ceremony with a bunch of people staring at us. We've talked mainly about Europe (Italy and Greece, mostly) so we can combine a honeymoon into the trip as well. Any thoughts?
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Jul 20, 2010 23:50
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Fire In The Disco posted:Our officiant had a big ol' binder of various ceremonies to choose from, and once we said we didn't want religious, he flipped to a whole section of secular ceremonies (in fact, they were the lion's share of the binder). There was everything from Buddhist ceremonies to pagan ceremonies to wine ceremonies to rose ceremonies and so on, and so on, and so on. It was actually sort of overwhelming. But we finally settled on one where we gave a flower to our moms and a beer to our dads as a token of our gratitude for raising us (and for our dads to RELAX a little). If you find a non denominational officiant, I bet they can help you find a ceremony that works for you. Wow, we weren't given any choice at all. Just told that "These are the lines you have to remember, the service is non-religious, be there 15 minutes early and bring at least 2, and no more than 35 guests". I think I actually prefer it that way. A pre-set ceremony that the town hall uses for all couples that get married there, regardless of race, sexual orientation or faith. I guess it almost feels traditional... Just without the parts of tradition (church, god, priest, 2 hour long mass) that we are opposed to.
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Jul 21, 2010 10:23
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Well, we didn't get married at the town hall, we hired a private officiant. Maybe that is the big difference?
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Jul 21, 2010 15:01
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Fire In The Disco posted:Well, we didn't get married at the town hall, we hired a private officiant. Maybe that is the big difference? Yeah, I'd imagine if you hire someone privately you would have a lot more control over it all. I know most town halls give a lot more control than our one, as a friend in a different part of the city has a totally different process and a lot more control. Still, it's a fantastic old building with marble staircases, great for the photos... And it's cost us around 50 for the ceremony. So can't complain at the lack of control
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Jul 21, 2010 16:57
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Coming up on my wedding (day after next) and I'm wondering about tipping. Limo cost has tip built in, as does the cake. Our DJ is giving us a hell of a deal ($350 for setup and a six hour reception) so I feel like I should tip him well. Our non-dessert catering is being handled by the reception hall. They also handle linens and seating, provide wait staff (3), and handle the bar (1 bartender) for ~100 people. However it's also already our biggest expense by far, clocking in at a little over 6 grand out of probably 10.5 including cruise expenses. I've got no problem giving a tip for good service but a percentage of such a big figures seems a little over the top to me. I also feel like I want to tip the photographer but I'd like to see the final product first. Is there any etiquette guideline to this? Any advice?
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Jul 22, 2010 19:36
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All the reception halls I have seen include the tip, so make sure you aren't paying for it already. It's typically restaurant level, i.e., ~18% of the total.
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Jul 22, 2010 19:45
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Fumaofthelake posted:Coming up on my wedding (day after next) and I'm wondering about tipping. Limo cost has tip built in, as does the cake. Our DJ is giving us a hell of a deal ($350 for setup and a six hour reception) so I feel like I should tip him well. The reception hall probably has tip in there, with the tax. For everyone else, there's a lot of 'guidelines' out there, but the only one I think is helpful is this: if the vendor is an employee of a bigger company who will probably be taking a cut, then tip. If they are independent or own the company, tip only if you REALLY feel beholden to them for exceptional service because they're already charging you what they want to get from you. Our photographer was independent, so we didn't tip him. We did tip the DJ because he was sub-contracting from someone else. Our reception hall had it in there ~18% tip + ~10% tax. Blech.
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Jul 22, 2010 20:08
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I haven't read through the thread yet (there's 87 pages) so forgive me if this question has already been answered. My dad owns a coin store where he buys and sells jewelery all of the time, but he just takes the stones out and melts the metal down. Because of this, and the fact he doesn't want to bother with selling all the stones (and he thinks his "rock collection is cool) he has a plethora of stones ranging from some double star sapphires to lots of diamonds to some glass made to look like something else. Since he has all of these stones lying around, he gave me an amethyst which I want to use to propose to my girlfriend with. The only problem is that I have no idea where to look for a good deal on a setting for the stone. I have googled it and shopped around a little bit, but I was wondering if the wonderful goon community has a secret website that sells setting for $5 a pop or some sort of a price that I should not go above. Some pertinent information: the stone is oval cut, but he has more so I can pick a different one if I needed to. I am looking for a simple white gold or platinum setting (the ones she's told me that she liked are the solitaries or something similar and simple) tldr: Does anyone know where I can find cheap engagement ring settings?
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Jul 22, 2010 21:31
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Yes, no, maybe. I just sent you a PM. ;-)
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Jul 22, 2010 22:26
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We had a super productive day today- ordered our wedding rings, (EEEEEEEE!! Mine's so pretty and sparkly, and his is manly and not boring, so yay us!) set up our first dance lesson, and I snatched up some cute cards to use as thank yous for my bridal shower. We did have a question for you lovely people, though. We haven't nailed down transportation yet. I want to have some time with the honey between the chapel and the reception hall, so we were talking about getting a car to get us to and from. One of the guys was asking about what we were doing for transport, and we kind of didn't have an answer for him... Should we tell the BMs and GMs that they need to find their own, or is it on our shoulders to provide them with a limo/car/something? We're getting very close to our budget's limits, but we didn't really know if this was something we should be covering on top of everything else. Are we being tightwads if we tell them they need to deal with it?
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Jul 23, 2010 03:32
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So, I scratched my plans for my previous dress because the Etsy seller has been getting a lot of mixed reviews lately. Instead, I found a bridemaid's dress that has the same qualities I liked about the first one and happens to be half the price. I guess my deal is, is it weird to go to a bridal shop and ask for a maid's dress instead of a regular wedding dress? Would any shop be able to order it from the particular designer or should I have to find a specific place? And if I order it online, I'll probably have to find a place to get it fitted/altered, I suppose. So confused. I don't know anything about wedding planning.
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Jul 23, 2010 15:48
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JohnnyRnR Do you do bridal jewelry other than rings, such as a necklace? Tulip Candy I actually just ordered my wedding dress and it is a bridesmaid dress! A lot of bridesmaid dresses can be ordered in ivory or white and they are much less expensive. Also, shops do not carry all designers. You will need to find your designer online and do a store locator to see where the dress is available near you. You can then go there to order it! MechanicalUnderwear fucked around with this message at 16:42 on Jul 23, 2010 |
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Jul 23, 2010 16:33
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Tulip Candy posted:So, I scratched my plans for my previous dress because the Etsy seller has been getting a lot of mixed reviews lately. Instead, I found a bridemaid's dress that has the same qualities I liked about the first one and happens to be half the price. I guess my deal is, is it weird to go to a bridal shop and ask for a maid's dress instead of a regular wedding dress? Would any shop be able to order it from the particular designer or should I have to find a specific place? And if I order it online, I'll probably have to find a place to get it fitted/altered, I suppose. No, it's not weird, but you will need to find out which shops near you carry the designer you like. If you don't care about going to an actual bridal shop, I know lots of girls that had a lot of luck ordering dresses through Pearl's Place. Their prices are usually way below what a normal bridal shop would charge & they ship fairly quickly.
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Jul 23, 2010 18:01
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MechanicalUnderwear posted:JohnnyRnR Yes, we do a lot of custom work and sell quite a bit of the traditional pearl necklaces as well. Use the contact form on the website and I'll shoot a message back when I get into the office.
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Jul 23, 2010 20:35
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Friendly Geek posted:We did have a question for you lovely people, though. We haven't nailed down transportation yet. I want to have some time with the honey between the chapel and the reception hall, so we were talking about getting a car to get us to and from. One of the guys was asking about what we were doing for transport, and we kind of didn't have an answer for him... Should we tell the BMs and GMs that they need to find their own, or is it on our shoulders to provide them with a limo/car/something? We're getting very close to our budget's limits, but we didn't really know if this was something we should be covering on top of everything else. Are we being tightwads if we tell them they need to deal with it? You should definitely SET UP something, whether it's asking your best man if he can drive the whole bridal party or paying for a car to take them. When my brother got married, they had a family friend that had a mini-bus take all the bridesmaids/groomsmen to the reception while they rode in the back of their friend's vintage Mustang. They didn't pay for either one but when we got to the reception the bridal party was all together in one place and they weren't waiting on one person to show up. (Because you know there'd be that one groomsman who decided to stop someplace on the way and then everybody's standing around waiting to do the introductions, pictures, etc.)
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Jul 23, 2010 21:53
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Eeeeee! Got my dress today~ I went to a bridal shop and ended up with a sample dress marked down to under $700 from ~$1500. Phewwww. It was marked down more since it didn't sell in the sample sale they had the week before. My mom also got her dress out of the way too, and it looks great on her. I was really nervous about the bridal shopping stuff since I didn't want a big traditional dress, nor did I want to spend a ton, but the lady was great. If anyone wants a store recommendation in the CT/RI area, go to The White Dress by the Shore.  (not me in Karalyn by Vineyard/Priscilla of Boston) I love it and I feel like a million-dollar cupcake in it. And now I don't have to dress shop anymore! 
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Jul 23, 2010 23:17
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Are those pockets? I love dresses with pockets. Plus you can hide your something old/new/borrowed/blue in there!
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Jul 23, 2010 23:50
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That dress was in my "Maybe's" list. It's gorgeous!
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Jul 23, 2010 23:52
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Love pockets! Plan on getting them myself. Probably one from this designer. The first four designs have pockets: http://www.ariadress.com/WeddingDressesThumbnails.htm I don't want to say exactly which one, since I know my fiance is perusing this thread (Paramemetic).
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Jul 24, 2010 01:38
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PopRocks posted:Are those pockets? I love dresses with pockets. Plus you can hide your something old/new/borrowed/blue in there! Yes. Yes they are pockets. They more than slightly influenced my purchase, too... innocent_deadly: Those are really cute! The long ones made me look really, really short, though, since I'm 5' and I have to cut off like 2' of dress.
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Jul 24, 2010 02:32
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I'm 5'1'' and that's exactly why I'm going the short dress route. This is one I have my heart set on right now, although that's likely to change at any moment...
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Jul 24, 2010 03:04
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We were singing a contract that asked something like "Can the serving staff stay and party after they serve the meal?" We both laughed and asked if that was serious, and apparently the staff at the location of choice enjoys mingling after they are done serving. What the gently caress. There simply arent any other halls in the area for us to pick from. We just left and said "We'll be back, that's a call from my mother." Is this normal? I dont want the hired help to chill out and be in pictures. It's a small town (5000 people max), and everyone knows everyone.
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Jul 24, 2010 03:41
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That's really weird. Unless the wait staff are actually friends of yours, why would anyone want them to stick around & celebrate with you?
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Jul 24, 2010 03:45
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For the free booze if there's an open bar, I imagine. I think that's really strange myself.
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Jul 24, 2010 03:57
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They're just trying to drink your beer. I'd say no.
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Jul 24, 2010 05:30
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Wow. I mean, we're having a meal at a restaurant my family use a lot then heading on to the reception venue, so I could see one or two of them asking if we minded them tagging along to the reception. We have known them (albeit through eating there, not socially) for years... But strangers? Bleh. I don't think I'd go for that.
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Jul 25, 2010 14:08
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JohnnyRnR posted:Yes, we do a lot of custom work and sell quite a bit of the traditional pearl necklaces as well. Use the contact form on the website and I'll shoot a message back when I get into the office. Which website? Feel free to email me at scheibla at gmail dot com, so we don't gunk up the thread.
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Jul 26, 2010 02:50
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Question about etiquette for other people's weddings. My fiance and I are attending a wedding this weekend. It'll be held at a church in the afternoon. Fine and dandy. The reception will be about an hour drive away which that drive consists of going through the middle of Dallas at around 5pm. Not so great. I know the bride mentioned to me that it is a hassle and they'd be fine with people just going to the reception. Would that be okay just to go to the reception or is that just terribly rude?
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Jul 27, 2010 03:15
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