|
I don't think having to drive through traffic is such a horrible burden that you should miss her wedding ceremony. Is there something else going on that day that has you pressed for time? If not I'd probably sacrifice the few hours of web surfing necessary to make the drive. I guess if you'd have to miss work or some other important obligation it might be an issue.
|
#
?
Jul 27, 2010 05:03
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 9, 2024 23:33 |
|
|
I love weddings so much. So much. I truly do. Don't you just love it when people second guess your decisions. 
|
|
#
?
Jul 27, 2010 07:42
|
|
|
I think it's typical to have some people at the reception that can't make it to the ceremony, especially guests that aren't family. You'll still get a chance to sign the guest book at the reception, and most ceremonies these days are pretty short anyway.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 01:22
|
|
|
My ceremony and reception were at the same place, and I still had people who could make it to one or the other. If the bride has said she won't care, then go for it.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 01:24
|
|
|
Just a quick question about reply cards. Do we fill out the name on them or do we let the person do that?
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 01:27
|
|
|
I left that part blank, personally. I figure there are plenty of situations where the person or people you are inviting have a modification. For instance, my friend from college who I had no idea was very seriously involved. She filled in her boyfriend's name and marked down 2. Or another friend who separated after we sent the invites. She just filled in herself and her kids.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 01:34
|
|
|
calandryll posted:Just a quick question about reply cards. Do we fill out the name on them or do we let the person do that? We've received only one so far without a name, it is a mystery!
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 07:09
|
|
|
To combat the blankness, my husband had a good idea-- we put a little tiny number on the back corner of the reply cards that corresponded with an entry on our wedding invites spreadsheet. We got a lot of blank ones back, so it really proved valuable to have the numbering system.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 13:41
|
|
|
Fire In The Disco posted:To combat the blankness, my husband had a good idea-- we put a little tiny number on the back corner of the reply cards that corresponded with an entry on our wedding invites spreadsheet. We got a lot of blank ones back, so it really proved valuable to have the numbering system. I absolutely second that. I did it with my bat mitzvah and my sweet sixteen, and it's been invaluable. Also, my boyfriend, when put in charge of response cards, has no idea how to handle them. We were both invited to a wedding, and he responded back with his name, and how many guests? "1" Because in his mind, it was him, and one guest - me. And this is a doctoral student. In short, even smart people are stupid, and don't understand how to use response cards. Use numbers!
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 14:31
|
|
|
We left ours with blank lines and thankfully we only had one person who thought that meant she could bring a guest even though we only invited her (at $67 per person, I'd prefer to only pay for people I actually know and who would actually care about being there). We had enough people decline that it didn't matter, but I'd hate to have to call her and say, "Well, you see, we only budgeted for X people, not X+1 people..." On the "help I need advice" side of things, is it normal to get wedding cold feet? Not cold feet like, "I don't know if I want to marry this dude," but wedding cold feet like, "I really am not looking forward to my wedding?" It's probably just that all of the stress is getting to me, but I'm really not looking forward to the wedding. Between a rude caterer, people who can't freaking call me back when I leave a voicemail asking whether they were planning on attending, having to struggle to get more than 100 guests out of ~165 invited (less than 100 guests makes the caterer's prices go WAY up), running back and forth between two church dioceses to make sure my paperwork is A-OK and some other small problems, I find myself asking, "Is it really worth it just for a one hour ceremony and a six hour reception? Is all of this stress REALLY worth it?"
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 15:06
|
|
|
Ms. Happiness posted:Question about etiquette for other people's weddings. My fiance and I are attending a wedding this weekend. It'll be held at a church in the afternoon. Fine and dandy. The reception will be about an hour drive away which that drive consists of going through the middle of Dallas at around 5pm. Not so great. I know the bride mentioned to me that it is a hassle and they'd be fine with people just going to the reception. Would that be okay just to go to the reception or is that just terribly rude?
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 15:44
|
|
|
vanessa posted:On the "help I need advice" side of things, is it normal to get wedding cold feet? Not cold feet like, "I don't know if I want to marry this dude," but wedding cold feet like, "I really am not looking forward to my wedding?" Oh yes, I was for sure ready for all the insanity to be done. I had pretty low expectations, since no big event goes off without snags. And it turns out I was pleasantly surprised-- the only snag that took place at our wedding was the downtown train's whistle going when I was walking down the aisle (we had an outdoors wedding). Apparently it was perfectly timed for my entrance from the spiral stairs to the aisle. The guests were suitably impressed, I'm told (I don't remember hearing it at all).
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 15:46
|
|
|
So, My fiance and I are thinking of having a destination wedding. We're not sure where yet, but it will be hot. I'm not coming in here asking about the super details, but rather how to handle announcing it to our guests and handling the "I have to pay how much to go to your wedding?!" Also, the expectations on the couple to the guests. Start TL;DR: A little background, I will be graduating from university about a month before the approximate wedding date. On top of that, we're both saving up to move to europe for a year. So obviously, money for us is an issue and I don't think our parents can help out with this either. Neither of us want a traditional wedding. I used to, but then I saw how insane the planning was at a friends wedding and said no thank you. My Fiancee never wanted one in the first place. Our initial idea was to just have a reception, but the costs for that would be way beyond what we could afford since we would feel obligated to invite over 100 people. Many of whom I wouldn't mind not seeing at my wedding. Extended family, not so close friends, jerks that would raise a fuss if they didn't get invited. The usual. We entertained the idea of eloping for a while, but I thought that might insult the people I actually want to come, like my grandmother. And thus, a destination wedding compromise. End TL;DR. Since I've never been invited to a destination wedding or know anyone who has had one, I have questions. How do people generally react to being told about a destination wedding and the costs involved? What can I say to make it seem like i'm not a huge jerk expecting them to spend a lot of money for the privilege see me get married? What costs should we cover as a courtesy to the guests, if any? What should we expect to organize in terms of flights/accommodations/transportation for guests? Gifts? I'm thinking i'll decline all gifts, if they come or not. Any general advice is welcome, thanks!
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 18:02
|
|
|
Cronican posted:Since I've never been invited to a destination wedding or know anyone who has had one, I have questions. I've been invited to a few and never gone - I was never close enough to the couple to warrant the expense. That being said, if they were good friends and I had a lot of time to save up for their wedding, then I'd consider it. Send out a save-the-date so people know ahead of time what's going on and they can plan accordingly. Obviously you are going to cover the main meal and possible rehearsal, but anything else would be gracious. Possibly covering a brunch the day after or some other activity would be a nice gesture. You don't need to entertain everyone who comes all of the time, but it might be nice to plan a separate activity so no one gets bored. Also be very generous to any attendants - they are required to attend and buy dresses/tuxes, throw showers and parties. Whoever you ask may be your best buddies, but if they are students or don't have the cash flow, they may not be able to swing all of the costs. Be sensitive to their situation. Show 'em some love if they do attend! You can't decline gifts, but ask the important people in your life to spread the word that you don't require any. You can also check with the place your wedding will be to see if they can book a group rate for hotel and airfare which might reduce the costs for everyone in involved. If you don't have a place in mind, go visit a travel agent. They have a wealth of information.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 18:15
|
|
|
Cronican posted:destination wedding So far, I've had more rejections than confirmed attendants, so it's something to take into consideration.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 18:30
|
|
|
Holy poo poo we leave for PA today and the wedding's in 3 days where the gently caress did the last 2 years go? OK time to pack for a week in the Dominican Republic followed by a trip to NY Finger Lakes wine country.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 19:39
|
|
|
Those of you who have been to afternoon weddings or who had an afternoon wedding, what is the common amount of time most people want to spend at your reception? I told my mom (who was booking the venue) that we'd need at least until 5:30 p.m. and she only booked it until 4:30. Now a couple months later, she realizes maybe that extra hour would be nice and so she called the venue back to request it, and someone else already booked that evening so we have to have everything out by 5:00. Our wedding is at 12:30 and will be very short, and the reception site is only about 15 minutes away so it won't take too long for people to get there. Is 1:15-4:30ish going to be too short for people? I don't want people to feel like they're being shooed out at 4:30, but as she snarkily told me on the phone today, "it's too late to do anything about." 
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 20:03
|
|
|
ucmallory posted:Those of you who have been to afternoon weddings or who had an afternoon wedding, what is the common amount of time most people want to spend at your reception? I told my mom (who was booking the venue) that we'd need at least until 5:30 p.m. and she only booked it until 4:30. Now a couple months later, she realizes maybe that extra hour would be nice and so she called the venue back to request it, and someone else already booked that evening so we have to have everything out by 5:00. I had a 10am wedding (full Mass) followed by a lunch reception at 1pm. We had the room booked until 4pm and didn't have any issues. We only had lunch & cake (no dancing), so that probably helped. My husband and I very specifically didn't want an all night sort of affair for our reception. I know that some people went straight home after our reception, so you may not have too much trouble getting everyone and everything out in time. The wait staff was helpful in this respect, as well - they seemed to have a good grasp on how things should flow to get everything done in 3 hours.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 20:56
|
|
|
ucmallory posted:Those of you who have been to afternoon weddings or who had an afternoon wedding, what is the common amount of time most people want to spend at your reception? I told my mom (who was booking the venue) that we'd need at least until 5:30 p.m. and she only booked it until 4:30. Now a couple months later, she realizes maybe that extra hour would be nice and so she called the venue back to request it, and someone else already booked that evening so we have to have everything out by 5:00.
|
|
#
?
Jul 28, 2010 21:09
|
|
|
Cronican posted:Destination wedding Keep in mind that you will still have to pay for a venue and meal for your guests wherever you're going. I don't really see how this is going to be cheaper for you than a normal reception.
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2010 00:29
|
|
|
Cronican posted:So, My fiance and I are thinking of having a destination wedding. We're not sure where yet, but it will be hot. If you're going somewhere "hot" then I assume you mean it will be a holiday destination and not the middle of the Mojave desert. We treated it like a vacation that we shared with friends and I am sure your guests will too. Don't worry about this at all. Guests pay for everything including flights, accommodation, entertainment, food etc while the couple paid for the ceremony and reception, just like a regular wedding. There will be far less people attending and venues like these are used to 'smaller' weddings and don't punish you financially per head for having less people than you might at a local venue. If you choose your destination wisely, the wedding will almost certainly be cheaper than a local one. Most resorts offer a wedding package so you'll find it's all included and they do all the organizing for you. If you are a relaxed person, you can virtually just turn up on the day and leave everything else to the venue. Flowers, decorations, music, food and so on are all way cheaper and these places have done it thousands of times before. You talk about how you don't want to be involved in the wedding planning so I strongly suggest finding a resort to organize it for you.
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2010 01:08
|
|
|
I have a question about buying a diamond and ring online versus in a brick and mortar store. It seems one of the advantages to buying something locally is the fact that you generally get free cleanings and even diamond replacement if it falls out of its setting. How does online compete with this? Also, if I buy a loose diamond and the ring separately, can I just take it to any jeweler to get it set?
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2010 18:04
|
|
|
If you do the destination wedding, it might be nice to do a post-trip reception for people who aren't able to spend the money/travel (old people)/take the time off work. I had friends who had their wedding in Italy, and the reception in our hometown and it worked out great! If a lot of the people you are going to invite are in school or recent graduates, you might want to keep in mind that it's going to be a serious financial hit for them.
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2010 18:24
|
|
|
I was asked to be in my best friends wedding, he said it was going to be a destination wedding about 4 hours away. Turns out his wife-to-be wants it down in South Carolina. So now it's a 21 hour drive for me, plus hotel, gift, food, my personal time off, and all that stuff. Or it's a 4 hour flight for about $800, with less personal time off. I had to tell him that my wedding is 3 months later, we are paying for all of it, as well as the honeymoon, and we wont be able to make it to his wedding. He's not having a reception at home. That conversation with him really sucked. Just food for thought from the "oh crap I cant afford that" side of the wedding.
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2010 18:55
|
|
|
So... What the hell is a 'Rehersal Dinner'?
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2010 19:52
|
|
|
Bewildrbeast posted:So... It's feeding the people that go through the wedding rehersal.
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2010 20:42
|
|
|
Bewildrbeast posted:So... You do a run-through of how the wedding ceremony is going to go before the ceremony (often the day before, not always though). Once the run-through is done, you have a rehearsal dinner, traditionally (but not always) hosted by the groom's parents. Generally everyone in the wedding party as well as relatives or friends who came from out of town are invited to the rehearsal dinner.
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2010 21:13
|
|
|
Fire In The Disco posted:You do a run-through of how the wedding ceremony is going to go before the ceremony (often the day before, not always though). Once the run-through is done, you have a rehearsal dinner, traditionally (but not always) hosted by the groom's parents. Generally everyone in the wedding party as well as relatives or friends who came from out of town are invited to the rehearsal dinner. So it can be a backyard BBQ sort of thing, just an excuse to chill and spend time with family and close friends before the stress of the wedding day?
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2010 21:24
|
|
|
Bewildrbeast posted:So it can be a backyard BBQ sort of thing, just an excuse to chill and spend time with family and close friends before the stress of the wedding day?
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2010 21:30
|
|
|
Bewildrbeast posted:So it can be a backyard BBQ sort of thing, just an excuse to chill and spend time with family and close friends before the stress of the wedding day? Yep, it can be whatever you want-- catered formal sit down, or chill in the back yard. We had ours at my in-laws' house because it's huge and they have enough room for the 25 people we invited. I think we had Mexican food catered? It was really relaxed and chill. We used that opportunity to give our wedding party their gifts from us, which was digital photo keychains (they were rarer a few years ago when we got married.  ), which we preloaded with a dorky photo of us holding up a sign that said "THANK YOU!"
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2010 21:39
|
|
|
The ring I bought from Blue Nile came in the mail today, included was an appraisal that valued the ring at around 40% more than what I paid. What's the deal with this? I'm assuming that appraisals are all overestimates? Or is BN lying to make me feel better about dropping so much money on a rock?
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2010 21:50
|
|
|
How do families (well, mothers in particular) generally react when their son/daughter chooses to elope? We really really really don't want a big traditional wedding and would rather have a small, intimate ceremony in a beautiful, tropical location. We both know what we want but are terrified of of how our mothers will react.  There's always the reception when we get back, but we're both the oldest in the family/first to be married and well, I'm nervous to tell them.
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2010 00:04
|
|
|
Spermy Smurf posted:I was asked to be in my best friends wedding, he said it was going to be a destination wedding about 4 hours away. If it makes you feel any better, as a groom he should understand. I was forever grateful for those who were able to fly out for my wedding. And I have no ill feelings towards those who couldn't, even for my cousin who I asked to be one of my groomsmen. Most people who are paying for and planning their own wedding know how much time and money is required so shouldn't feel bad if you turn their offer down.
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2010 00:28
|
|
|
pauld posted:The ring I bought from Blue Nile came in the mail today, included was an appraisal that valued the ring at around 40% more than what I paid. What's the deal with this? I'm assuming that appraisals are all overestimates? Or is BN lying to make me feel better about dropping so much money on a rock? You understand it exactly. It's a cheesy sales tactic to make you think you were a smarter buyer than the next guy. Most brick and mortar retailers can match BN's prices these days so the mythical "retail priced appraisal" (what you have) isn't true. There is a massive chain that advertises their products "will appraise for double the price paid!" Of course... they write the appraisals!
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2010 03:14
|
|
My father in law enjoyed our wedding so much he's volunteering to pay the entire balance.  That's an extra $5,000 that we thought we were on the hook for.Thanks dad.  Pro tip: invite your father in law's friends that he doesn't see often enough as a surprise. He is still talking about how cool it was two weeks later.
|
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2010 03:30
|
|
|
So I'm looking to get a nice ring for my girlfriend for christmas. Right now its between a synthetic alexandrite ring and a garnet ring. http://www.divadiamonds.net/detail/?tbl=rings&itemnum=JD932GRR4S http://www.jewelsforme.com/item-main.asp?ItemNumber=2178R-14&Gemtype=CA&Metal=W&ItemMonth=&Ad=&CU= My question is do either of these look worth it? Neither of us like diamonds and I don't have the money for anything really big. I like the designs especially the garnet ring but I don't know if its worth it at all to even look at them or consider them. Its a surprise so I haven't let anyone know my plans and I suck at picking things out. Any little help is appreciated
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2010 17:05
|
|
|
Helvetica Neue posted:How do families (well, mothers in particular) generally react when their son/daughter chooses to elope? We really really really don't want a big traditional wedding and would rather have a small, intimate ceremony in a beautiful, tropical location. We both know what we want but are terrified of of how our mothers will react. Also, if it's for money reasons, you may find that destination wedding/eloping + reception isn't really any cheaper than a local wedding + reception.
|
|
#
?
Jul 30, 2010 17:11
|
|
|
I just want to thank everyone for the advice. Not only did I save a TON of money, but I also got a very beautiful ring all thanks to the advice in this thread. Thank you for the user who told me "CUT IS KING"! My fiance now has a diamond that shines and sparkles like the sun. Now the fun part of trying to plan a wedding!
|
|
#
?
Jul 31, 2010 00:51
|
|
|
Kaddish posted:It seems one of the advantages to buying something locally is the fact that you generally get free cleanings and even diamond replacement if it falls out of its setting. How does online compete with this? Kaddish, sorry I missed your question. You've pretty much hit the nail on the head. Many people buy locally because they like the service aspect. They like having a place to see jewelry and to walk in for a polishing, etc. Online jewelers are not going to offer polishing and cleaning services due to the expense and risk of shipping rings in for such a minor service. As for diamond replacement - That would typically be a function of your insurance (but rarely happens). Any jeweler will set diamonds that you bring in from elsewhere, but because of internet competition the local jewelers are generally charging more for these services to make a profit and keep the store open.
|
|
#
?
Jul 31, 2010 02:03
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 9, 2024 23:33 |
|
|
My jeweller re-coated my wife's engagement ring for free when we bought the wedding band without even asking. I'm sure there are good deals online but I'd recommend a good old fashioned mom and pop place over online any day. Especially if you're the type that fluctuates in weight a lot, like me.
|
|
|
#
?
Jul 31, 2010 05:43
|
|