Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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The Warszawa: Jun 6, 2005; Look at me. Look at me.

I am the captain now.

IzzyFnStradlin posted:

Funny story, one of the books visible in this picture was called out by name as insane/less than useful in the big "welcome to law school (3 weeks in advance)" e-mail I got this week.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 00:41

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# ? May 15, 2024 09:57

IzzyFnStradlin: Jun 19, 2004

The Warszawa posted:

Funny story, one of the books visible in this picture was called out by name as insane/less than useful in the big "welcome to law school (3 weeks in advance)" e-mail I got this week.

Which one?

I am genuinely curious, as I agonized over which books to buy for my 0L prep regimen, and those pictured come "gunner approved".

Please indulge me, I beg of you. I am not being sarcastic.

Edit: Is it "Law School Insider"? Cause that book is BS - one guy went to Cornell and wrote a book. I am fighting in a higher weight class, to be certain.

IzzyFnStradlin fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Jul 31, 2010

# ? Jul 31, 2010 00:45

Roger_Mudd: Jul 18, 2003; Buglord

job posting posted:

The Blah Firm is looking for a law clerk who is eager to learn about litigation and enjoys being a team player. The clerk will be required to do a variety of different types of legal work inside and outside the office. A strong work ethic and ability to balance many tasks and responsibilities are required. The firm is looking for someone who is dependable and passionate. No egomaniacs, lose the attitude, be willing to work hard, mind your manners, be able to laugh at yourself and, most importantly, don't throw people under the bus! Interested students, please e-mail a cover letter and resume to Blah at blah@blah.com.

What could that part even mean? How would a law clerk "throw people under the bus!"

# ? Jul 31, 2010 00:53

Elotana: Dec 12, 2003; and i'm putting it all on the goddamn expense account

Reporting ethical violations?

# ? Jul 31, 2010 00:55

The Warszawa: Jun 6, 2005; Look at me. Look at me.

I am the captain now.

IzzyFnStradlin posted:

Which one?

I am genuinely curious, as I agonized over which books to buy for my 0L prep regimen, and those pictured come "gunner approved".

Please indulge me, I beg of you. I am not being sarcastic.

Edit: Is it "Law School Insider"? Cause that book is BS - one guy went to Cornell and wrote a book. I am fighting in a higher weight class, to be certain.

Law School Confidential, actually.

You do realize that "gunner approved" is a pejorative, right?

# ? Jul 31, 2010 01:01

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Sexual harassment is such a vague term, let's not make a big thing of it

The Warszawa posted:

Law School Confidential, actually.

You do realize that "gunner approved" is a pejorative, right?

I got that book as a gift. I only skimmed it but I think it opens with "don't go to law school if you don't want to be a lawyer" so how bad could it be?

# ? Jul 31, 2010 01:02

IzzyFnStradlin: Jun 19, 2004

The Warszawa posted:

Law School Confidential, actually.

You do realize that "gunner approved" is a pejorative, right?

Granted, I haven't actually been to law school, but Confidential is superior to Insider, and comes with cautioned approval from TLS. Perhaps you are too eager to drink to adcom kool-aid, or going to a school too smart to care.

In any case, I read it on a Saturday, hungover. Thus far, LEEWS and Getting To Maybe have been the best prep, and the Bluebook elicited a chortle or ten.

Edit: Also, I contacted the library and got early electronic access to old 1L exams. Printed those babies out and have 'em on file. That is useful prep.

IzzyFnStradlin fucked around with this message at 01:16 on Jul 31, 2010

# ? Jul 31, 2010 01:12

The Warszawa: Jun 6, 2005; Look at me. Look at me.

I am the captain now.

IzzyFnStradlin posted:

Granted, I haven't actually been to law school, but Confidential is superior to Insider, and comes with cautioned approval from TLS. Perhaps you are too eager to drink to adcom kool-aid, or going to a school too smart to care.

In any case, I read it on a Saturday, hungover. Thus far, LEEWS and Getting To Maybe have been the best prep, and the Bluebook elicited a chortle or ten.

Edit: Also, I contacted the library and got early electronic access to old 1L exams. Printed those babies out and have 'em on file. That is useful prep.

How are you assessing "best prep?" I mean, you haven't gone to law school (neither have I, I'm a 0L too) so how would you judge what prepares you best? Unless you mean that it makes you feel prepared, like a lucky rabbit's foot or some other emotional talisman.

Edit: Whoa, what school gave you early access to exams? I've never heard of that happening.

The Warszawa fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Jul 31, 2010

# ? Jul 31, 2010 01:26

IzzyFnStradlin: Jun 19, 2004

The Warszawa posted:

How are you assessing "best prep?" I mean, you haven't gone to law school (neither have I, I'm a 0L too) so how would you judge what prepares you best? Unless you mean that it makes you feel prepared, like a lucky rabbit's foot or some other emotional talisman.

Most books offer self-apparent advice. The best books, by my estimation, are the ones that prepare you - directly and indirectly - for the exams. After all, that's what it is all about.

The Warszawa posted:

Edit: Whoa, what school gave you early access to exams? I've never heard of that happening.

Perhaps I misspoke. My understanding is that nearly every school's law library keeps old exams on file, some electronically and others on paper. I simply contacted my school's head law librarian and asked for early access to their online database of old exams. Thus, while my colleagues scramble, I will have them indexed and on hand. It's the little things, I imagine.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 01:35

The Warszawa: Jun 6, 2005; Look at me. Look at me.

I am the captain now.

IzzyFnStradlin posted:

Most books offer self-apparent advice. The best books, by my estimation, are the ones that prepare you - directly and indirectly - for the exams. After all, that's what it is all about.

Perhaps I misspoke. My understanding is that nearly every school's law library keeps old exams on file, some electronically and others on paper. I simply contacted my school's head law librarian and asked for early access to their online database of old exams. Thus, while my colleagues scramble, I will have them indexed and on hand. It's the little things, I imagine.

No, I understood what you meant with regard to the databases, but I was surprised to hear that the school didn't impose the precondition of official matriculation or course registration.

Also, that you felt the need to get those exams 6 months in advance, before having sat through a class with the professor that would teach the subject.

The Warszawa fucked around with this message at 01:52 on Jul 31, 2010

# ? Jul 31, 2010 01:42

JohnnyTreachery: Dec 7, 2000

and once you discover outline banks that bookshelf will just gather dust

# ? Jul 31, 2010 01:52

IzzyFnStradlin: Jun 19, 2004

The Warszawa posted:

No, I understood what you meant with regard to the databases, but I was surprised to hear that the school didn't impose the precondition of official matriculation or course registration.

Post-BA, the best lesson I learned is that people absolutely love when you approach then with humility, sincerity, and grace.

The Warszawa posted:

Also, that you felt the need to get those exams 6 months in advance, before having sat through a class with the professor that would teach the subject.

I wasn't telling you the whole story. I found out that ex-military jerk-offs were able to obtain their section assignments because of some government bullshit. I concluded, then, that we ALL must be assigned. Accordingly, I contacted the registrar and was able to obtain my section assignment and, thus, schedule. Naturally, it took some wrangling, but nothing a Yalie with 5 real-world years couldn't handle.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 02:09

Alaemon: Jan 4, 2009; Proctors are guardians of the sanctity and integrity of legal education, therefore they are responsible for the nourishment of the soul.

IzzyFnStradlin posted:

Post-BA, the best lesson I learned is that people absolutely love when you approach then with humility, sincerity, and grace.

Yeah, but that doesn't explain why they'd give them to you.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 02:51

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

IzzyFnStradlin posted:

Post-BA, the best lesson I learned is that people absolutely love when you approach then with humility, sincerity, and grace.

If that fails, consider calling them the n-word

# ? Jul 31, 2010 02:54

IzzyFnStradlin: Jun 19, 2004

Ainsley McTree posted:

If that fails, consider calling them the n-word

To be certain, many American blacks find it refreshing.

In other words, they are all imagining that we are thinking it anyway.

It is kind of like this double-parallel universe: American black have been so conditioned by white racism that they think that white racism is omnipresent.

Catch-22.

Thus, when dealing with American Blacks, just smile and act dumb. They will then attribute your carriage to in-breeding and/or just general stupidity.

Of course, if you have big lips, you are in like Flynn.

For, you see, most white people have thin lips. Doubly true for southern whites - ie, slave owners.

Now, I have big, thick lips that rival the most black of black men.

Thus, they treat me like their own.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jul 31, 2010 03:00

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Tell me more!

# ? Jul 31, 2010 03:01

IzzyFnStradlin: Jun 19, 2004

Ainsley McTree posted:

Tell me more!

Well, black men artificially lower their voice, but it is completely cultural.

Much like white men from the midwest artificially raise the pitch of their voice.

Now, me, I have a naturally deep voice (and big lips, as I said earlier).

I also have very fair skin.

This puts me in a unique potion.

From what I have observed, black guys hate me, but - strangely - black women love me.

It is something having to do with cultural cues combined with physical feeling. I don't know. I can't parse it.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 03:10

Leif.: Mar 27, 2005; Son of the Defender
Formerly Diplomaticus/SWATJester

Draile posted:

Ben's Chili Bowl is hugely overrated

Draile posted:

Five Guys is delicious

Ahahahaha. No.

Just...no.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 03:12

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

When you say black women love you, do you mean sexually, or on a more intimate and spiritual, romantic level?

# ? Jul 31, 2010 03:13

IzzyFnStradlin: Jun 19, 2004

Ainsley McTree posted:

When you say black women love you, do you mean sexually, or on a more intimate and spiritual, romantic level?

I'd primarily say spiritually, as anytime I encounter one at a drive-thru or a ticketbox, they always call me "sweetie" or "sweatheart" or some variation.

But, in point of fact, there is this kind of unspoken understanding between us.

You see, I did a radio show that dealt exclusively in 1960s black girl group soul.

I did it for like 3 years.

Nothing but 1960s girl groups.

So, in a way, I think I kind of carry that with me. Like an unspoken understanding.

And, as you probably know, most of these songs dealt with single black women issues.

So, by proxy, I kind of "get it".

And, I imagine, the black women I encounter in my daily jaunts "understand" it, consciously or unconscionably.

For example: I went to the movies today, and the ticketaker was a large (obese) black woman. Well, we talked for a good 15 minutes about this and that! And we were only cut off when some black guy came over and tried to prance dominant male.

So, that is how my life goes!

# ? Jul 31, 2010 03:20

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

http://online.wsj.com/public/resources/documents/072910sanderyakowitz.pdf

quote:

The consistent theme we find throughout this analysis is that performance in law school � as measured by law school grades � is the most important predictor of career success. It is decisively more important than law school �eliteness.�

. . . .

As an illustrative hypothetical, imagine an average student (GPA 3.25-3.5) at 47th ranked University of Florida. Using the fifth column from Table 11 (AJD regressions on salary), we can predict how her earnings would be affected under various counterfactuals. If she had attended 20th ranked George Washington University, her grades likely would have slipped to the 2.75-3.0 range, and her salary would drop considerably (by 22%, all other factors held constant.) Even if she had managed to get a spot at 7th ranked UC Berkeley, where the tier premiums are highest, her grades likely would have fallen into the 2.5-2.75 range, and her salary would be 7% lower. On the other hand, if she had attended 80th ranked Rutgers, she probably could have improved her grades to land in the 3.5-3.75 range, and earned a 13% higher salary.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 03:23

IzzyFnStradlin: Jun 19, 2004

Linguica posted:

http://online.wsj.com/public/resources/documents/072910sanderyakowitz.pdf

makes complete sense. my parents are retard lawyers and they make poo poo money but we are middle class, so okay.

similarly, my uncle went to BU or BC (i can never remember which one) and never did Biglaw and practices in NY and makes like 200k i guess, but is still a loving failure.

meanwhile, i am going to h?c in three weeks and you see me sweating? DONT THINK SO!

# ? Jul 31, 2010 03:30

Leif.: Mar 27, 2005; Son of the Defender
Formerly Diplomaticus/SWATJester

Does it take into account that better ranked schools artificially inflate their GPA, so that you'd literally have to be a retard to graduate with below a 3.3?

# ? Jul 31, 2010 03:35

Elotana: Dec 12, 2003; and i'm putting it all on the goddamn expense account

Someone please get grumblefish and izzy to start arguing with each other it will be a perpetual motion thread dynamo

# ? Jul 31, 2010 04:16

Alaemon: Jan 4, 2009; Proctors are guardians of the sanctity and integrity of legal education, therefore they are responsible for the nourishment of the soul.

Elotana posted:

Someone please get grumblefish and izzy to start arguing with each other it will be a perpetual motion thread dynamo

That or they're the same person.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 04:16

Roger_Mudd: Jul 18, 2003; Buglord

Izzy, tell us more of your art.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 05:10

lipstick thespian: Sep 20, 2005; by Ozmaugh

People ask me all the time if I have plans to study abroad in the US/work there. It's getting a bit hard to answer without being really snappy about it.

Speaking of which, the actual numbers behind the racial bias inherent to the US justice system are pretty amazing:

http://www.pslweb.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=14289&news_iv_ctrl=1261

Now I just need to find something like this for northern Europe to compare it to.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 06:58

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

I will note the upside of law school (I would note you shouldn't go to law school).
I'm in the city I went to law school in and met up with my law school friends. Those guys are really among the bets friends I've had. Misery does build some great friendship.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 07:31

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

I, on the other hand, have not spoken to a law school classmate in nearly a year. Every now and then I'll post a whiny facebook status and get a like or two but that's about the extent of the fruits of my networking

# ? Jul 31, 2010 08:02

yronic heroism: Oct 31, 2008

Chances are if you made some of your best friends in law school you could have made at least as many living free during those years.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 08:13

JudicialRestraints: Oct 26, 2007; Are you a LAWYER? Because I'll have you know I got GOOD GRADES in LAW SCHOOL last semester. Don't even try to argue THE LAW with me.

Angry Midwesterner posted:

Chances are if you made some of your best friends in law school you could have made at least as many living free during those years.

I've been in too long. I don't know how to operate on the outside anymore.

*Carves username into ceiling beam at hotel*

# ? Jul 31, 2010 08:36

The Warszawa: Jun 6, 2005; Look at me. Look at me.

I am the captain now.

Linguica posted:

http://online.wsj.com/public/resources/documents/072910sanderyakowitz.pdf

How are they measuring for law schools with grading scales best described as babytown frolics? For example, HYS's h/p/lp/lol scale.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 09:17

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

The Warszawa posted:

How are they measuring for law schools with grading scales best described as babytown frolics? For example, HYS's h/p/lp/lol scale.

I've taken judicial notice that every time a law school does this, they always have 4-5 possible grades in addition to the A+ equivalent. There's not a special snowflake top school out there except maybe Chicago that doesn't easily convert to 4.0.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 16:36

Petey: Nov 26, 2005; For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

holybartender posted:

I'm told that is, and Five Guys.

Those are everywhere thought. But we're going to Hell Burger and Ben's Chili Bowl.

# ? Jul 31, 2010 16:59

Abugadu: Jul 12, 2004; 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

JudicialRestraints posted:

I've been in too long. I don't know how to operate on the outside anymore.

*Carves username into ceiling beam at hotel*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoUJh9L9r9U

# ? Jul 31, 2010 17:10

Daico: Aug 17, 2006

The Warszawa posted:

How are they measuring for law schools with grading scales best described as babytown frolics? For example, HYS's h/p/lp/lol scale.

I think I'd be cool with a grade of 'lol.'

# ? Jul 31, 2010 17:31

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Daico posted:

I think I'd be cool with a grade of 'lol.'

"lots of law"

# ? Jul 31, 2010 21:04

Lykourgos: Feb 17, 2010; by T. Finn

Ainsley McTree posted:

"lots of law"

sorry, there is no law in law school

# ? Jul 31, 2010 21:19

Mr. Fictitious: Jul 9, 2002; by Ozmaugh

evilweasel posted:

so are you quitting law school or no, I remember you said you were deciding based on this summer

Heh honestly I'm less sure now than ever. I'd always been leaning toward quitting, and I even felt like I'd finally made The Decision a couple weeks ago - but now in the last week or so I've been vacillating several times a day. Gonna take this one to double-overtime :cool:

Lykourgos posted:

The prosecutor will tell the def atty and judge if he knows the defendant is innocent.

laffo

# ? Jul 31, 2010 21:56

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# ? May 15, 2024 09:57

IrritationX: May 5, 2004; Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze in the Grand fucking Canyon.

School's done. No job yet, but a couple prospects.

# ? Aug 1, 2010 06:33

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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