Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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Handsome Ralph: Sep 3, 2004; Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!

crime fighting hog posted:

Special "It came from FaceBook!" edition

(X) posted: I PLEDGE
ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND TO THE
REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH
LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL. (I grew up saying this every morning in
school - it's a shame we no longer do that for fear of offending
...someone). NOW, LET'S SEE HOW MANY AMERICANS WILL REPOST AND NOT CARE
ABOUT OFFENDING ANYONE

I commented saying "We still do this?" but I imagine he'll just say something about atheists ruining the country.

Came to post this one, so I'll post this one instead.

some retard on facebook posted:

okay michelle obama, why don't you go run up the deficit some more so you can take your vacation and use a jet plane that costs $11000 per hour, and so you can have around the clock security that costs almost $100000 total.....courtesy of us taxpayers ....aren't you obamas rich enough to afford that on your own?

Yeah? Where the gently caress were you when Bush vacationed all the loving time in Crawford?

Also in regards to that weapons email, I like how they say the weapons were a mixed variety of Russian, Chinese and Afghan made weapons.

When the gently caress did Afghanistan start importing weapons?

Handsome Ralph fucked around with this message at 21:51 on Aug 7, 2010

# ? Aug 7, 2010 21:43

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# ? May 11, 2024 13:28

nsaP: May 4, 2004; alright?

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

"It's a shame we no longer do that"?

What the gently caress is he talking about, I had to say it every single morning K-12 without fail. Hell, it was mandatory. As far as I know that is pretty much the case in every public school.

I really don't remember elementary or middle school, but in high school we only did the pledge once a week. It is also definitely non compulsory, although you couldn't tell a few of the teachers that. I was quite pleased when the Vice Principal told my art teacher she couldn't give me detention for not standing during the pledge.

# ? Aug 7, 2010 22:11

chesh: Apr 19, 2004; That was terrible.

Boondock Saint posted:

Came to post this one, so I'll post this one instead.

Yeah? Where the gently caress were you when Bush vacationed all the loving time in Crawford?

Also in regards to that weapons email, I like how they say the weapons were a mixed variety of Russian, Chinese and Afghan made weapons.

When the gently caress did Afghanistan start importing weapons?

Why can't Michelle Obama and her security detail vacation like normal people????

These guys really don't understand the security required for a head of state, since the closest anyone got to Bush ever was a flying shoe.

# ? Aug 7, 2010 22:28

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

Law in PA the P o A must be said but students do not have to say it.

P o A is really freaky and weird especially the god part. When I taught I was always really conflicted.

# ? Aug 7, 2010 23:41

hitension: Feb 14, 2005; Hey guys, I learned Chinese so that I can write shame in another language

I actually did voluntarily refuse to say the pledge starting from Middle school due to my opposition to the war and because I didn't want to say "under God", and I got so much flak for it it's unbelievable. I was sent to the office countless times, accused (by my teachers!) of being a "Commie" and a "Russian", had various "long chats" where I had to defend the fact that I didn't hate America or anything like that, etc. Ultimately, it's your right to not say the pledge, but it was a hell of an effort and I was harassed every step of the way for it. Preposterous that people would actually feel defensive about wanting to say the pledge-- reminds me of that "well what about when women rape men?!" and "well what about reverse racism?!" mindset.

# ? Aug 8, 2010 01:35

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

Boondock Saint posted:

Yeah? Where the gently caress were you when Bush vacationed all the loving time in Crawford?

I love not only how deceptive these "WELL LOOK AT HOW MUCH OBAMA'S FAMILY SPENDS ON FRIVOLITY MY TAX DOLLARS" emails are, but that even if they were true they're a drop in the bucket compared to how much we're spending on the military.

Actually a drop in the bucket is the understatement of the year.

hitension posted:

I actually did voluntarily refuse to say the pledge starting from Middle school due to my opposition to the war and because I didn't want to say "under God", and I got so much flak for it it's unbelievable. I was sent to the office countless times, accused (by my teachers!) of being a "Commie" and a "Russian", had various "long chats" where I had to defend the fact that I didn't hate America or anything like that, etc. Ultimately, it's your right to not say the pledge, but it was a hell of an effort and I was harassed every step of the way for it. Preposterous that people would actually feel defensive about wanting to say the pledge-- reminds me of that "well what about when women rape men?!" and "well what about reverse racism?!" mindset.

Jesus. Can I ask where you grew up?

# ? Aug 8, 2010 02:44

Alastor_the_Stylish: Jul 25, 2006; WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

RagnarokAngel posted:

Actually a drop in the bucket is the understatement of the year.

In this context it would be an overstatement.

# ? Aug 8, 2010 04:05

Beowulfs_Ghost: Nov 6, 2009

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

"It's a shame we no longer do that"?

What the gently caress is he talking about, I had to say it every single morning K-12 without fail. Hell, it was mandatory. As far as I know that is pretty much the case in every public school.

For me, 80's to mid 90's in Oregon, we only did it for school assemblies after 5th grade. Mid way through 6th grade I learned that you could sit through it on "religious" grounds from a fellow student who's family was Jehovah Witness, and I stopped doing it altogether. Most of the other students where just mouthing the words or saying parodies any way.

Thinking back, I'm not even sure we did it for assemblies in high school at all. Either that, or I just got so used to sitting through them I just forgot about it.

# ? Aug 8, 2010 05:18

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

Alastor_the_Stylish posted:

In this context it would be an overstatement.

Eh? A drop in the bucket means a very small amount of the whole. How much the Obama family spends on travel is microscopic compared to military spending.

# ? Aug 8, 2010 06:32

OrangeKing: Dec 5, 2002; They do play in October!

RagnarokAngel posted:

Eh? A drop in the bucket means a very small amount of the whole. How much the Obama family spends on travel is microscopic compared to military spending.

I think he was trying to say that even "a drop in the bucket" was overstating how much the Obama travel fund costs.

# ? Aug 8, 2010 07:18

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

OrangeKing posted:

I think he was trying to say that even "a drop in the bucket" was overstating how much the Obama travel fund costs.

Oh. I suppose either works, depends on what direction you're taking the comment. We knew what we meant so disregard.

# ? Aug 8, 2010 08:05

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

Boondock Saint posted:

Also in regards to that weapons email, I like how they say the weapons were a mixed variety of Russian, Chinese and Afghan made weapons.

When the gently caress did Afghanistan start importing weapons?

I think you mean exporting. :eng101:

And yeah, I noticed that too. Sure, Afghans have their own cottage industry for Kalashnikov copies et cetera, but they all go for fighting their own little wars. Afghanistan doesn't even have trade ports so they'd have to go through Pakistan. It would be incredibly daft to export handmade guns from there to North or Central America, might as well start smuggling drugs from USA to Mexico.

# ? Aug 8, 2010 15:45

Vonnegut Asterisk: Apr 14, 2007; Brandon, you put Pat White down this instant young man!

crime fighting hog posted:

Special "It came from FaceBook!" edition

(X) posted: I PLEDGE
ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND TO THE
REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH
LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL. (I grew up saying this every morning in
school - it's a shame we no longer do that for fear of offending
...someone). NOW, LET'S SEE HOW MANY AMERICANS WILL REPOST AND NOT CARE
ABOUT OFFENDING ANYONE

I commented saying "We still do this?" but I imagine he'll just say something about atheists ruining the country.

You know what other country has to pledge allegiance everyday? North Korea.

Little strange that you want to limit my free speech, eh Comrade?

# ? Aug 8, 2010 17:00

Dick Milhous Rock!: Aug 9, 1974

crime fighting hog posted:

My friend just responded with this: idk, but they dont cuz it reps the G-man...

What the gently caress?

"I don't know, but they don't do [the pledge] because it represents God."

Perhaps you could ask him what his opinion would be if the muslim students replaced the word "God" with "Allah?"

Or if public schools began teaching Catholicism to students?

# ? Aug 8, 2010 18:20

crime fighting hog: Jun 29, 2006; I only pray, Heaven knows when to lift you out

I thought G-man meant big government?

# ? Aug 8, 2010 18:22

Dick Milhous Rock!: Aug 9, 1974

crime fighting hog posted:

I thought G-man meant big government?

90% chance he means god there, but he's probably unwilling to type it out if it doesn't come copy-pasted from something. The actual definition of "G-man" doesn't make sense in context.

# ? Aug 8, 2010 18:26

shotgunbadger: Nov 18, 2008; WEEK 4 - RETIRED

crime fighting hog posted:

I thought G-man meant big government?

It's The Gambler, dude's just a huge Kenny Rodgers fan.

# ? Aug 8, 2010 18:28

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

crime fighting hog posted:

I thought G-man meant big government?

In my understanding, it comes from Government Man and more specifically was used as a referral to FBI agents in some old detective novels.

# ? Aug 8, 2010 19:27

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

Nenonen posted:

In my understanding, it comes from Government Man and more specifically was used as a referral to FBI agents in some old detective novels.

J Edgar Hoover made up the term and got it popularized by claiming a criminal ("Machine Gun" Kelly) called the agents that when he was caught.

# ? Aug 8, 2010 19:51

Lansdowne: Dec 28, 2008

There isn't really anything new opinion-wise about this email, but I had to post it just for the gifs. Also, imagine the text is all comic sans.

quote:

Subject: TO PEE OR NOT TO PEE

Like most folks in this country, I have a job. I
work, they pay me.
I pay my taxes & the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.

In order to get that paycheck, in my case, I am required to pass a random urine test (with which I have no problem).

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

So, here is my question: Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their BUTT----doing drugs while I work.

Can you imagine how much money each state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

I guess we could call the program "URINE OR YOU'RE OUT"!

Pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don't. Hope you all will pass it along, though. Something has to change in this country - AND SOON!
P.S. Just a thought, all politicians should have to pass a urine test too!

Hmm, need to make my opinions more palatable. Better add some gifs straight out of 1995.

# ? Aug 8, 2010 23:50

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Somehow I feel like having to administer urine tests to everyone who needs government aid would actually not save any money at all!

e: And I also feel like many conservatives, faced with this obvious refutation of the point, would respond with "well, then obviously we ought to just shut down welfare entirely" or even suggest that it's worth spending extra money just so no drug users can "cheat" the system.

# ? Aug 9, 2010 00:12

shotgunbadger: Nov 18, 2008; WEEK 4 - RETIRED

Put the loving gun down if you don't want to be labeled crazy, dude.

# ? Aug 9, 2010 02:46

crime fighting hog: Jun 29, 2006; I only pray, Heaven knows when to lift you out

shotgunbadger posted:

Put the loving gun down if you don't want to be labeled crazy, dude.

What's in his pocket? ANOTHER GUN?

# ? Aug 9, 2010 03:35

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

shotgunbadger posted:

Put the loving gun down if you don't want to be labeled crazy, dude.

His fingers on the trigger that's not very good safety protocol.

# ? Aug 9, 2010 03:48

crime fighting hog: Jun 29, 2006; I only pray, Heaven knows when to lift you out

RagnarokAngel posted:

His fingers on the trigger that's not very good safety protocol.

trigger discipline goes out the window shortly after they took away...his freedom

# ? Aug 9, 2010 03:50

Cjones: Jul 4, 2008; Democracia Socrates, MD

crime fighting hog posted:

trigger discipline goes out the window shortly after they took away...his freedom

Gather you armies

# ? Aug 9, 2010 05:06

MOLLUSC: Nov 30, 2005

Frankly it seems like a huge invasion of privacy to have to take a urine test at your place of work (unless you're a pro athlete or something). I'd see that as more of a problem than MAH TAXES going to the poor.

# ? Aug 9, 2010 20:19

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

quote:

I guess we could call the program "URINE OR YOU'RE OUT"!

Ok this part was great

# ? Aug 9, 2010 20:54

oxbrain: Aug 18, 2005; Put a glide in your stride and a dip in your hip and come on up to the mothership.

I think requiring random UAs for federal politicians would be the quickest method of ending the war on drugs.

# ? Aug 9, 2010 20:57

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

shotgunbadger posted:

Put the loving gun down if you don't want to be labeled crazy, dude.

He looks really sad that no one's around to shoot at.

# ? Aug 9, 2010 23:08

shotgunbadger: Nov 18, 2008; WEEK 4 - RETIRED

Toad on a Hat posted:

He looks really sad that no one's around to shoot at.

Yea that's a terrible image to use really, ol Gus is just wigglin his gun all around and he's just so sad he can't shoot someone, and we're supposed to go 'that poor man being called crazy!'.

# ? Aug 9, 2010 23:54

Stoic Madman: Dec 4, 2004; This title space left unintentionally blank

I know right-wing types who actually feel that not being allowed to shoot people they personally disagree with is a horrible infringement on their rights. They view having their beliefs challenged as an attack that is no different from being shot at, and therefore, meriting armed response.

# ? Aug 10, 2010 02:21

Saint Sputnik: Apr 1, 2007; Tyrannosaurs in P-51 Volkswagens!

crime fighting hog posted:

Special "It came from FaceBook!" edition

(X) posted: I PLEDGE
ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND TO THE
REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH
LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL. (I grew up saying this every morning in
school - it's a shame we no longer do that for fear of offending
...someone). NOW, LET'S SEE HOW MANY AMERICANS WILL REPOST AND NOT CARE
ABOUT OFFENDING ANYONE

I commented saying "We still do this?" but I imagine he'll just say something about atheists ruining the country.

I have to cover a lot of government meetings for work and every single one starts with the pledge (and some with a prayer). I've literally just started saying "blah blah blah" sotto voce.

# ? Aug 10, 2010 04:23

baquerd: Jul 2, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

quote:

There's a man on YouTube who ran as an independent for some political office (I'm not sure which one) in Colorado, and he makes a ton of videos.

Well, it appears that "some viewer" wrote him about some topics, and he made a video based on that letter.

For your amusement:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4sn5t0zwJ0

Which of you goons is this in the video?

# ? Aug 10, 2010 12:17

Bombadilillo: Feb 28, 2009; The dock really fucks a case or nerfing it.

Dameius posted:

Subject: Can you believe this?

The angel of he Lord encamps around those who fear Him and He delivers them.
The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.
Ps. 34: 7 and 17

THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS STATEMENT EVER MADE BY A PUBLIC OFFICIAL, LET ALONE BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. AND THIS GUY IS OUR "COMMANDER IN CHIEF".

HERE IS HIS RESPONSE WHEN HE BACKED OFF FROM HIS DECISION
TO REQUIRE THE MILITARY PAY FOR THEIR WAR INJURIES.

Bad press, including major mockery of the plan by comedian Jon
Stewart, led to President Obama abandoning his proposal to require
veterans carry private health insurance to cover the estimated $540
million annual cost to the federal government of treatment for injuries
to military personnel received during their tours on active duty. The
President admitted that he was puzzled by the magnitude of the
opposition to his proposal.

"Look, it's an all volunteer force," Obama complained.

"Nobodymade these guys go to war.

They had to have known and accepted the risks.
Now they whine about bearing the costs of their choice? It
doesn't compute.." "I thought these were people who were proud to
sacrifice for their country, "Obama continued. "I wasn't asking for
blood, just money. With the country facing the worst financial crisis in its
history, I'd have thought that the patriotic thing to do would be to try to help
reduce the nation's deficit. I guess I underestimated the
selfishness of some of my fellow Americans."

Please pass this on to every vet and their
families whom you know.

REMEMBER THIS STATEMENT... "Nobody made these guys go to war. They had to have known and accepted the risks. Now they whine about bearing the costs of their choice?"

If this jerk thinks he will ever get another vote from anyone who is or has been

associated with the military service he's nuts.. If you or a family member

is serving or has served their country, please send this to them.

I'm guessing that everyone, other than the 20-25 percent hardcore liberals

in the US , will agree that this is another example of why Obama is the worst
president in American history. Remind everyone over-and-over how this
man thinks, while he bows to the Saudi Arabian king.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/veteranshealth.asp

tl;dr version: conservative reads another conservatives satire and thinks its God's honest truth. Fires up the old internets to send me an email. I do not know when some one injected the psalm into the chain but it adds a touch of class to the whole thing.

This one. I am in the Coast Guard and got this on the internal email. gently caress. I sent reply all the snopes link and a heated warning to check fact before you slander you commander-in-cheif. This was a year ago and sent to about 100 people. Contrary to most cases here, he got a very embarrased response about the mistake. The guy reply alled his response too, so you CAN change opinions guys. Or at least make people question crazy claims they read! Keep fighting the retardation.

Bombadilillo fucked around with this message at 21:03 on Aug 10, 2010

# ? Aug 10, 2010 16:36

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

In this case the happy from the correction of something that really shouldn't even need a correction (seriously there's no one on this side of Sharron Angle who would even think that near a microphone) is completely cancelled out by the sadness of knowing that was going around in an internal coast gaurd email.

I was born with a heart full of neutrality.

# ? Aug 10, 2010 17:43

Papercut: Aug 24, 2005

Can someone help me with this "Three Things about Islam" video that's making the rounds on all of the crazy "Islam Watch" websites (and of course, my Holocaust-survivor grandparents' email chains)?

I'm hesitant to link the video because I don't want to increase its hit count, but it basically says Islam is different from other religions because of these 3 things:

Muslims believe the Qu'ran is to be taken literally, with no interpretation needed, and with the newest passages taking precedence over the earlier ones
Islam is less a religion than a "religious ideology", because Sharia is a mandatory legal and political plan for all of society that constitutes a totalitarian means of ordering society at every level (the video then goes into "creeping Sharia", scare slides about Sharia already having a "foot in the door" in Europe, Sharia orders that drinkers be whipped! etc)
Muslims are allowed to deceive non-Muslims if it helps Islam ("there are many examples of Muslim leaders today saying one thing in English to the Western press, followed by saying something completely different to their followers in Arabic [scary font])

The first point seems easy enough to refute. The very existence of different sects of Islam would indicate to me that the Qu'ran is in fact open to interpretation.

The other ones I'm not sure what to say, other than "nuh uh".

Video if you really want to watch some racist propaganda:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ib9rofXQl6w

# ? Aug 10, 2010 19:49

JerkyBunion: Jun 22, 2002

None of those things are inherent in or exclusive to Islam. :psyduck:

# ? Aug 10, 2010 19:57

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

I can't watch the video but I love the "creeping Islam in Europe!" themes. It's like unhistory.

# ? Aug 10, 2010 20:01

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# ? May 11, 2024 13:28

PerniciousKnid: Sep 13, 2006

Papercut posted:

The first point seems easy enough to refute. The very existence of different sects of Islam would indicate to me that the Qu'ran is in fact open to interpretation.

Well, I don't think this is a very good refutation. There are a million factions of Christianity and only like three or four of them don't take the Bible literally. Somehow they all and up being different sects regardless.

# ? Aug 10, 2010 20:55

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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