Geeky Star Wars Loser Thread Episode VII: Attack of the bugnest orgies

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Geeky Star Wars Loser Thread Episode VII: Attack of the bugnest orgies

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Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

I hate how they keep shoving Ahsoka into every goddamn thing nowadays, as if she's as big a character as Luke or Vader.

edit: The right way to start a page, with prequel hate.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 02:15

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# ? May 15, 2024 11:31

Lukano: Apr 28, 2003

Holy crap you guys... I consider myself to be one of the biggest SW closet fans I've ever met, and pride myself on already knowing at least 70% of the random EU related trivia I read in this thread. That said, I just can't frickin keep up. Every few weeks when I have a couple hours of down time, I like to pop over to GBS and fire up this thread. Every few weeks, I find that I've missed out on 3x more content than i can keep up with.

You all make me sick (aka; jealous).

# ? Sep 6, 2010 02:23

Rev. Bleech_: Oct 19, 2004; ~OKAY, WE'LL DRINK TO OUR LEGS!~

post this on every page

# ? Sep 6, 2010 02:33

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

Hamill seems to have a bit of a hunch going on.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 02:47

Lukano: Apr 28, 2003

I'm sorry Mark, but the ravages of time have not been your friend!

# ? Sep 6, 2010 03:18

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Tobaccrow posted:

They got nothing on BoShek:
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/BoShek

Oh what the gently caress.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 03:34

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Oh what the gently caress.

To be fair, some of that is from his awesome comic in Star Wars Tales (or was it Empire?).

# ? Sep 6, 2010 03:53

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

Casimir Radon posted:

No Lucasbooks, you're not going to get any of my money that way. The only way I'd even consider spending that kind of money is if Zahn was given complete creative control to write his loving Star Wars Magnum opus, and in the process stepped all over much shittier authors. Then I could justify spending $60 on a hardcover Star Wars book that comes in a little vault. Get on it.

Clearly they are preparing for Jedi Camp and a Star Wars themed holiday resort now.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 04:32

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

SeanBeansShako posted:

Clearly they are preparing for Jedi Camp and a Star Wars themed holiday resort now.

They already let little kids fight Darth Vader out in front of Star Tours, so not much of a stretch.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 04:35

Locutus of Bald: Aug 20, 2009; by Debbie Metallica

Lukano posted:

I'm sorry Mark, but the ravages of time have not been your friend!

When 900 years old you are, look as good, you will not!

# ? Sep 6, 2010 04:39

oh dope: Nov 2, 2006; No guilt, it feeds in plain sight

What would happen if you put a lightsaber in water?

# ? Sep 6, 2010 04:41

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

Casimir Radon posted:

They already let little kids fight Darth Vader out in front of Star Tours, so not much of a stretch.

Money wise, excellent idea. All those obsessed single neckbeards with too much cash and not enough oppotunities to run around in robes swinging replica props and making noises?

# ? Sep 6, 2010 04:43

Moose King: Nov 5, 2009

ghoti sticks posted:

What would happen if you put a lightsaber in water?

Click here for the full 720x406 image.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 05:01

Loopyface: Mar 22, 2003

ghoti sticks posted:

What would happen if you put a lightsaber in water?

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightsaber#Lightsaber_Resistant_Materials

# ? Sep 6, 2010 05:05

Kingtheninja: Jul 29, 2004; "You're the best looking guy here."

Rev. Bleech_ posted:

post this on every page

Man if that's what Luke looked like in the fate of the jedi books, I'd be laughing constantly with that image in my head.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 05:06

oh dope: Nov 2, 2006; No guilt, it feeds in plain sight

Loopyface posted:

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightsaber#Lightsaber_Resistant_Materials

And now I know. I'm going to bed. Thanks!

# ? Sep 6, 2010 05:08

Wingnut Ninja: Jan 11, 2003; Mostly Harmless

Lukano posted:

I'm sorry Mark, but the ravages of time have not been your friend!

Nice thing about voice acting, you don't give a poo poo.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 05:11

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

Kingtheninja posted:

Man if that's what Luke looked like in the fate of the jedi books, I'd be laughing constantly with that image in my head.

Funny how Hamil and Fords old age look sort of fits the EU books but alas not for Carrie Fisher.

loving eighties drug habits.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 05:11

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Harrison Ford could step in to play Han Solo deep in the EU and not miss a beat.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 05:14

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Spike's been airing all 6 movies today. It's pretty telling that I fell asleep watching AOTC, but I'm pretty much glued to the screen watching A New Hope, even though I've seen it 1,000 times.

Moment of silence for Porkins, please.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 05:45

Mister_Eel: Jun 29, 2007

quote:

When filming began for the prequel trilogy, the new stunt coordinator Nick Gillard ramped up the speed and agility the Jedi characters demonstrated in lightsaber duels. The idea being that the prequel trilogy took place when the Jedi Order was in "full flower", at least in terms of combat techniques.[28] Gillard was careful to avoid giving the fight scenes a choreographed look, drawing upon his extensive knowledge of martial arts to create the moves

Ha. I hope that stunt coordinator never gets another job.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 06:01

Fateo McMurray: Mar 22, 2003

Big Mean Jerk posted:

Spike's been airing all 6 movies today. It's pretty telling that I fell asleep watching AOTC, but I'm pretty much glued to the screen watching A New Hope, even though I've seen it 1,000 times.

Moment of silence for Porkins, please.

I'm watching now too.

Poor Chewie. Everyone congratulates each other after the Death Star is destroyed and he's just standing in the background and everyone is ignoring him. Luke, Leia, and Han all walk off arms around each other and Chewie just follows along behind like a slave. And not only does he get shafted out of a medal, he stands down a few steps on the stairs from everyone else too.

EQUAL RIGHTS FOR WOOKIES

# ? Sep 6, 2010 06:03

haitfais: Aug 7, 2005; I am offended by your ham, sir.

Loopyface posted:

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightsaber#Lightsaber_Resistant_Materials

To elaborate, lightsabers can be modified to use a cyclical power system alternating between two crystals to prevent it from shorting out when submerged. As pictures above, Kit Fisto's lightsaber works that way for obvious reasons. Anakin/Vader's lightsabers were always waterproof as well, because he loved tinkering with them.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 06:04

Greedish: Nov 5, 2009; what does this say
i don't even know
help

Casimir Radon posted:

They already let little kids fight Darth Vader out in front of Star Tours, so not much of a stretch.

Why is this a bad thing?

# ? Sep 6, 2010 06:09

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Greedish posted:

Why is this a bad thing?

How dare those little kids have fun! :argh:

# ? Sep 6, 2010 06:11

feedmyleg: Dec 25, 2004

Casimir Radon posted:

Hamill seems to have a bit of a hunch going on.

You misspelled "paunch."

# ? Sep 6, 2010 06:12

T-1000: Mar 28, 2010

Big Mean Jerk posted:

Moment of silence for Porkins, please.

I'd love to see the casting call. "Corpulent bearded man needed to play star pilot."

I'm amazed by how they created distinct personalities for a lot of pilots despite having less than a minute of screen time and maybe three or four lines each. Porkins, Biggs, Wedge, Red Leader, Gold Leader, I don't know if it's the casting, script or acting. Watching them all get blown out of the sky, you really feel for them. Watching clones fight robots you don't feel anything. Even when you're watching the jedi all get slaughtered, other than the dude with the conical head (Ki Adi Mundi I think?) you don't know anything about any of them. He had maybe three lines in all three movies but the look of betrayal on his face is worth more than millions of dollars of special effects.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 06:32

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

I'll have you know that Wedge not only survived, but blew up the second Death Star and succeeded Luke as leader of Rogue Squadron.

Wedge is awesome. :colbert:

# ? Sep 6, 2010 06:36

T-1000: Mar 28, 2010

Big Mean Jerk posted:

I'll have you know that Wedge not only survived, but blew up the second Death Star and succeeded Luke as leader of Rogue Squadron.

Wedge is awesome.

Yeah, I know all that. But the point is there's no equivalent in any of the prequels. There are no minor characters outside of a few Naboo security guards, that blue guy who hangs out with Palpatine, and the guy who married Anakin's mum. Everyone else is either a major character or a cardboard cutout. Porkins is a stronger character than Darth Maul despite the vast disparity in screen time. No matter how many times I watch A New Hope, watching Porkins slam into the Death Star screaming that he can hold it just doesn't get old. All the grease on his flightsuit from eating KFC in the cockpit just helped him burn up faster.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 06:58

that awful man: Feb 18, 2007; YOSPOS, bitch

T-1000 posted:

Everyone else is either a major character or a cardboard cutout.

There's a considerable overlap between those two classes.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 07:36

Mecheon: Nov 27, 2007; And that was when Ecco realised the world just fucking hates dolphins.

I sincerely apologise for the content of this post. I feel it is my duty to scar you, however

Click here for the full 744x800 image.

This is apparently a toy based off one of Starkiller's costumes from TFU. I've never played it, so I cannot confirm or deny this allegation

I'm sure you'll appreciate knowing of its existence, though

Unfortunately I can contribute little else to this topic other than seething hatred towards Star Wars toy fans, so I'll resume lurking

# ? Sep 6, 2010 12:00

Bene Elim: Feb 9, 2010; The beast from Crete that can't be beat!

Mecheon posted:

Click here for the full 744x800 image.

Oh what the gently caress?!

Jango and Bobba aren't cool! Stop shoving Madndalorian gear on everything to get a few sales out of the ZOMG! Bobba Fett is the greaterest! crowd.

TRAVISS! :argh:

# ? Sep 6, 2010 12:09

Mister Roboto: Jun 15, 2009; I SWING BY AUNT MAY's
FOR A SHOWER AND A
BITE, MOST NATURAL
THING IN THE WORLD,
ASSUMING SHE'S
NOT HOME...

...AND I
FIND HER IN BED
WITH MY
FATHER, AND THE
TWO OF THEM
ARE...ARE...

...AAAAAAAAUUUUGH!

T-1000 posted:

Porkins is a stronger character than Darth Maul despite the vast disparity in screen time.

Really? Come on, man. A fat guy hilariously named Porkins who dies after 2 lines isn't a "Stronger character."

That's EU-level stuff of making a background character into something "deeper" and projecting big time.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 12:45

Kazy: Oct 23, 2006; 0x38: FLOPPY_INTERNAL_ERROR

Mister Roboto posted:

Really? Come on, man. A fat guy hilariously named Porkins who dies after 2 lines isn't a "Stronger character."

That's EU-level stuff of making a background character into something "deeper" and projecting big time.

Truth be told, they both die after 2 lines. :v:

# ? Sep 6, 2010 12:57

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

The best thing about Porkins though is apparently according to the EU, he was the butt of fat jokes with the Rebel Pilots.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 15:00

mynnna: Jan 10, 2004

SeanBeansShako posted:

The best thing about Porkins though is apparently according to the EU, he was the butt of fat jokes with the Rebel Pilots.

He was the original Piggy.

So uh...duh? :haw:

# ? Sep 6, 2010 15:12

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

It is hilarious though, these bunch of fighter jocks with their bad porn moustaches, weight gain and neurotic behaviour (one of the Gold Squadron Pilots seemed pretty neurotic to me anyways the guy who is all like Switching To Targetting Computer) are more interesting than the bland cast of the prequals.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 15:15

deathsuxdontdie: Apr 12, 2004; Excellent Patient Care

Bene Elim posted:

Oh what the gently caress?!

Jango and Bobba aren't cool! Stop shoving Madndalorian gear on everything to get a few sales out of the ZOMG! Bobba Fett is the greaterest! crowd.

TRAVISS!

I hate the mandalorian poo poo as well. I'm not sure why people stuck to Boba like leeches. When did that start? In the original trilogy he was a lovely bounty hunter who only caught Han because Vader gave him to Boba. Then he got killed in a really embarrassing way in Jedi.

I'm not sure how badass you can be if you're accidentally knocked into the mouth of an immobile creature.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 15:27

Kingtheninja: Jul 29, 2004; "You're the best looking guy here."

Plo koon was in a video game and had a sweet bronze colored lightsaber, that poo poo is memorable. :colbert:

# ? Sep 6, 2010 15:58

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# ? May 15, 2024 11:31

Faerunner: Dec 31, 2007

deathsuxdontdie posted:

Then he got killed in a really embarrassing way in Jedi.

I'm not sure how badass you can be if you're accidentally knocked into the mouth of an immobile creature.

The EU fixed that.

# ? Sep 6, 2010 16:34

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Geeky Star Wars Loser Thread Episode VII: Attack of the bugnest orgies

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