- SpiderHyphenMan
- Apr 1, 2010
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by Fluffdaddy
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Well, seeing what today is, I eagerly await all the crazy poo poo all our crazy relatives are gonna send us.
Edit: Hell of a page starter, huh?
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Sep 11, 2010 06:06
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 15, 2024 17:36
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- JGTheSpy
- Jul 31, 2002
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Excuse me, but if I could have a moment of your time, I'd like to explain why you're not actually enjoying that game that you're enjoying. You see, I am in fact an expert. At games. I know, it's impressive.
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I got this one this morning.
quote:
Subject: Holocaust Survivor's View on Fanatic Islam
This is one of the best explanation of the Muslim terrorist situation I have read. His references to past history are accurate and clear. Not long, easy to understand, and well worth the read. The author of this email is Dr. Emanuel Tanay, a well-known and well respected psychiatrist.
A Holocaust Survivor's View on Islam
A man, whose family was German aristocracy prior to World War II, owned a number of large industries and estates. When asked how many German people were true Nazis, the answer he gave can guide our attitude toward fanaticism. 'Very few people were true Nazis,' he said, 'but many enjoyed the return of German pride, and many more were too busy to care. I was one of those who just thought the Nazis were a bunch of fools. So, the majority just sat back and let it all happen. Then, before we knew it, they owned us, and we had lost control, and the end of the world had come. My family lost everything. I ended up in a concentration camp and the Allies destroyed my factories.'
We are told again and again by 'experts' and 'talking heads' that Islam is the religion of peace and that the vast majority of Muslims just want to live in peace. Although this unqualified assertion may be true, it is entirely irrelevant. It is meaningless fluff, meant to make us feel better, and meant to somehow diminish the specter of fanatics rampaging across the globe in the name of Islam.
The fact is that the fanatics rule Islam at this moment in history. It is the fanatics who march... It is the fanatics who wage any one of 50 shooting wars worldwide. It is the fanatics who systematically slaughter Christian or tribal groups throughout Africa and are gradually taking over the entire continent in an Islamic wave. It is the fanatics who bomb, behead, murder, or honor-kill. It is the fanatics who take over mosque after mosque. It is the fanatics who zealously spread the stoning and hanging of rape victims and homosexuals. It is the fanatics who teach their young to kill and to become suicide bombers.
The hard, quantifiable fact is that the peaceful majority, the 'silent majority,' is cowed and extraneous.
Communist Russia was comprised of Russians who just wanted to live in peace, yet the Russian Communists were responsible for the murder of about 20 million people.The peaceful majority were irrelevant. China's huge population was peaceful as well, but Chinese Communists managed to kill a staggering 70 million people.
The average Japanese individual prior to World War II was not a warmongering sadist. Yet, Japan murdered and slaughtered its way across South East Asia in an orgy of killing that included the systematic murder of 12 million Chinese civilians; most killed by sword, shovel, and bayonet.
And who can forget Rwanda, which collapsed into butchery. Could it not be said that the majority of Rwandans were 'peace loving'?
History lessons are often incredibly simple and blunt, yet for all our powers of reason, we often miss the most basic and uncomplicated of points:
Peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their silence.
Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don't speak up, because like my friend from Germany, they will awaken one day and find that the fanatics own them, and the end of their world will have begun.
Peace-loving Germans, Japanese, Chinese, Russians, Rwandans, Serbs, Afghans, Iraqis, Palestinians, Somalis, Nigerians, Algerians, and many others have died because the peaceful majority did not speak up until it was too late. As for us who watch it all unfold, we must pay attention to the only group that counts -- the fanatics who threaten our way of life.
Lastly, anyone who doubts that the issue is serious and just deletes this email without sending it on is contributing to the passiveness that allows the problems to expand.So, extend yourself a bit and send this on and on and on! Let us hope that thousands, world-wide, read this and think about it, and send it on - before it's too late.
Emanuel Tanay, M.D. 2980 Provincial St. Ann Arbor , MI 48104
* Dr. Emanuel Tanay MD is a well-known forensic psychiatrist who has been an expert witness in many famous cases. He has served as an officer or committee member on the Michigan Psychiatric Society, theAmerican Academy of Psychiatry and the Law, the American Psychiatric Association (APA), and others.He is a diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology and of the American Board of Forensic Psychiatry and a distinguished fellow of the APA and the American Academy of Forensic Sciences (AAFC).
A Holocaust survivor himself, Dr Tanay coauthored a book about the survivors of the Holocaust and was asked by the German government to consult on just compensation for the Holocaust survivors. Dr. Tanay has served on several journal editorial boards, authored many publications, and presented countless times on forensic medicine. His efforts have also produced many awards and commendations from groups such as the Michigan State Medical Society, APA, the Detroit Institute of Technology, and AAFC, among others.
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Sep 11, 2010 20:04
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- MOLLUSC
- Nov 30, 2005
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JGTheSpy posted:
I got this one this morning.
I've seen that one before and there's no proof it was written by the person they claim and most likely originated from a guys blog.
When did this "Religion of peace" meme start anyway? I have only ever heard it referred to by right wingers criticising muslims.
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Sep 11, 2010 21:00
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- De Nomolos
- Jan 17, 2007
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TV rots your brain like it's crack cocaine
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quote:And who can forget Rwanda, which collapsed into butchery. Could it not be said that the majority of Rwandans were 'peace loving'?
Well, based on this alone, this guy obviously has no idea what he's talking about. Please don't use examples which you obviously haven't bothered to learn more about other than "some people killed a lot of people".
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Sep 11, 2010 21:12
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- BonoMan
- Feb 20, 2002
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Jade Ear Joe
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I love how those emails pre-load the opinion on you.
"This is the best and it's been factually checked and it's clear and unbiased please don't do any research yourself we did it all for you no its true I promise."
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Sep 11, 2010 21:29
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- i am the bird
- Mar 2, 2005
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I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS
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quote:
Peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their silence.
Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don't speak up, because like my friend from Germany, they will awaken one day and find that the fanatics own them, and the end of their world will have begun
Using this logic, Jews were the enemy during WW2. Why didn't they just stand up to the Nazis?!
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Sep 12, 2010 04:00
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- hirvox
- Sep 8, 2009
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JGTheSpy posted:
I got this one this morning.
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Sep 12, 2010 07:39
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- nm
- Jan 28, 2008
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"I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."
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MOLLUSC posted:
I've seen that one before and there's no proof it was written by the person they claim and most likely originated from a guys blog.
When did this "Religion of peace" meme start anyway? I have only ever heard it referred to by right wingers criticising muslims.
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Sep 12, 2010 08:12
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- RagnarokAngel
- Oct 5, 2006
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Black Magic Extraordinaire
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Naet posted:
Using this logic, Jews were the enemy during WW2. Why didn't they just stand up to the Nazis?!
Look if the Germans didnt stand up who knows what the Jews would have done?
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Sep 12, 2010 11:19
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- Cowslips Warren
- Oct 29, 2005
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What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?
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Grimey Drawer
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I usually delete all FWDs, but this one I opened. I learned my lesson.
quote:
do not mean to offend anyone....so read on
"Be who you are and say what you feel...
Because those that matter...don't mind...
And those that mind...don't matter."
This is GREAT made me laugh so hard, my eyes watered.
WHY I'M DEPRESSED
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of
Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels,
and I will lead you to the Promised Land."
Nearly 75 years ago,(when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt
said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light
up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."
Today, Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses,
raised the price of camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!
I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care
Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social
Security, retirement funds, etc . . . I called a Suicide
Hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was connected to
a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They
got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
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Sep 13, 2010 08:46
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- MariusLecter
- Sep 5, 2009
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NI MUERTE NI MIEDO
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Cowslips Warren posted:
I usually delete all FWDs, but this one I opened. I learned my lesson.
"What is mind? No Matter. What is matter? Never mind."
Was my first thought and I cannot stop giggling.
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Sep 13, 2010 16:45
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- RagnarokAngel
- Oct 5, 2006
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Black Magic Extraordinaire
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So is this pro or anti Roosevelt I seriously cannot tell.
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Sep 13, 2010 16:59
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- Intel&Sebastian
- Oct 20, 2002
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colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
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He's white so at best it's a well natured ribbing.
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Sep 13, 2010 17:25
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- i am the bird
- Mar 2, 2005
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I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS
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I read the last part of that e-mail as Michael Scott as racist Rodney Dangerfield.
"Hey, I was so depressed last night." <collar tug> "I called the suicide hotline and it asked if I spoke English! I get no respect. I was connected to a hotline in Pakistan. I told them, hey, I'm suicidal here!" <collar tug> "They asked if I could drive a truck. No respect!"
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Sep 13, 2010 18:56
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- Push El Burrito
- May 9, 2006
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Soiled Meat
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MOLLUSC posted:
Some conservatives I've seen on the internet say he's the worst president ever (or at least 2nd worst after HUSSEIN Obama).
For me it's always Jimmy Carter as the worst.
Apparently an ineffectual president is worse than someone who actively tries to make things terrible.
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Sep 13, 2010 19:59
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- De Nomolos
- Jan 17, 2007
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TV rots your brain like it's crack cocaine
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Traditionally (ie: prior to 2009), the conservative's worst president list is roughly as follows:
1. Carter
2. FDR
3. LBJ
4. Kennedy
5. Clinton
(if in the South, substitute Lincoln for any of the above)
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Sep 13, 2010 20:07
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- De Nomolos
- Jan 17, 2007
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TV rots your brain like it's crack cocaine
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quote:A LITTLE GUN HISTORY
In 1929, the Soviet Union established gun control. From 1929 to 1953, about 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
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In 1911, Turkey established gun control. >From 1915 to 1917, 1.5 million Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
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Germany established gun control in 1938 and from 1939 to 1945, a total of 13 million Jews and others who were unable to defend themselves were rounded up and exterminated.
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China established gun control in 1935. >From 1948 to 1952, 20 million political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
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Guatemala established gun control in 1964. From 1964 to 1981, 100,000 Mayan Indians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
---- ------------- -------------
Uganda established gun control in 1970. From 1971 to 1979, 300,000 Christians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
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Cambodia established gun control in 1956. From 1975 to 1977, one million educated people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
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Defenseless people rounded up and exterminated in the 20th Century because of gun control: 56 million.
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Aside from the fact that the Nationalists were in charge in China when that was passed and the Communists ruled for (most of) the time when people were exterminated like that, and the fact that a rifle will do little to nothing against the potential strength of armies with any sort of air power, armored divisions, or long-range weaponry, where else is this falling short?
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Sep 13, 2010 20:31
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- MOLLUSC
- Nov 30, 2005
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RightHonourableHolt posted:
Aside from the fact that the Nationalists were in charge in China when that was passed and the Communists ruled for (most of) the time when people were exterminated like that, and the fact that a rifle will do little to nothing against the potential strength of armies with any sort of air power, armored divisions, or long-range weaponry, where else is this falling short?
A happened and B happened, therefore B happened because of A. This does not compute. Also lol at blaming the holocaust on gun control.
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Sep 13, 2010 20:35
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- Intel&Sebastian
- Oct 20, 2002
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colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
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November 6, 1860 - A republican is elected president. Within 5 years over 600,000 Americans are dead due to civil war.
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Sep 13, 2010 20:51
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- Push El Burrito
- May 9, 2006
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Soiled Meat
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RightHonourableHolt posted:
Traditionally (ie: prior to 2009), the conservative's worst president list is roughly as follows:
http://thinkprogress.org/2010/07/01/scholars-bush-worst-president/
I remember reading a Fox News article about this where it was questioned "What do these people know about the presidents? Why should we trust them?! Carter should be at least in the bottom 5!"
And that is what is wrong with America.
Also, the UK's gun control laws are going to lead to genocide any second now. I know it!
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Sep 13, 2010 21:01
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- De Nomolos
- Jan 17, 2007
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TV rots your brain like it's crack cocaine
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MOLLUSC posted:
A happened and B happened, therefore B happened because of A. This does not compute. Also lol at blaming the holocaust on gun control.
If only the Jews had all possessed a M-1 Garand, the finest rifle of the time! Then they could have beat back the German army that wanted to exterminate them. What the gently caress is a blitzkrieg?
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Sep 13, 2010 21:06
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- Intel&Sebastian
- Oct 20, 2002
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colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
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That's a football play right
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Sep 13, 2010 21:08
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- De Nomolos
- Jan 17, 2007
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TV rots your brain like it's crack cocaine
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Intel&Sebastian posted:
That's a football play right
Backs in the I, trips right, blitzkreig to the center on 4, ready, break!
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Sep 13, 2010 21:14
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- the
- Jul 18, 2004
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by Cowcaster
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Got a crazy forwarded political op/ed from your college newspaper? Post them here.
quote:Biased professors pose problems
When you are planning to attend college, there are a few things you expect to encounter, like getting used to all your homework being posted online and having to manage your time. It is likely that you have walked into classes expecting some of your professors to be a little one-sided in their arguments. When you stick around for a couple years, you come to find out this troubling assumption is truer than you thought.
For students who have ever taken a political science course or the like, there tends to be a common trend among professors. For example, it seems to me that most of them probably voted for President Barack Obama during the elections. There is nothing wrong with voting for Obama, but if I am in a classroom to learn about politics in-depth, I am going to want both sides of the argument. Don’t get me wrong; not all professors are equal. There are plenty of great professors I’ve encountered who present non-biased arguments and make you think about both sides, but the main arguments that dominate lectures and debates in these classes are strongly Democratic. If we are to receive a proper education, we need to see how each political party -- Republican, Democrat or Independent -- views certain relevant issues.
For example, my introductory political science professor decided he would give a lecture and argument about the questions people raise about whether there is racism involved in the death penalty. He showed statistics and slides, but decided he would conclude the lecture with, "My examples are proof that the death penalty doesn’t work. Just look at Texas; they are gung-ho about the death penalty and yet they have one of the highest crime rates in the United States." As a student who has been taught never to simply take just anyone at their word, I made sure I checked his information before I commented. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, Washington, D.C., counted among the states, has the highest crime rate in the U.S. Texas is at No. 16. I show him my data, after which he bellows through the classroom, "I don’t care!"
This kind of behavior was both immature and unnecessary. Being in position 16 on the list may not be an excellent crime rate, but it’s certainly not top 10 and certainly no Washington, D.C. When someone is so wrapped up in their side of the argument they can't even look at data, then they are simply impossible to persuade or even argue with.
Why bother? It’s just your education. I should have walked out of his class feeling refreshed and freed from my unjustified political notions, thankful he was there to show me, right? So I ask you as students, are you really going to question the answers or take everything at face value?
There are plenty of "nice" people out there who can sweetly tell you a boldface lie. One of the biggest parts of education and a part we tend to forget to mention is that we must learn how to interpret someone who may or may not have good intentions or all of their facts straight. Everyone makes mistakes, but watch out for the ones who are simply there to turn you into little robots for their political ideals.
Find ideals of your own. Go out and research on your own. Know your information so that when you are confronted, you are prepared to answer the questions honestly and credibly.
Not only are your conclusions wrong, but now you've publicly tried to call out the man in charge of grading your tests. Idiot.
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Sep 13, 2010 22:07
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- Walter
- Jul 3, 2003
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We think they're great. In a grand, mystical, neopolitical sense, these guys have a real message in their music. They don't, however, have neat names like me and Bono.
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"This is the best response to / explanation of __________ I've ever read. I can't believe it was written by a ___________, but every American should read this."
What's the deal with these intros? Does the intended audience of these emails need to be told explicitly that X letter is written by a "smart," but conservative, author? And do they need what appears to be validation that other, like-minded conservatives have read it and agree? The more I think about it, it's like they're letting each other know it's okay to read something other than the directions on the mac and cheese box.
Is this a way of basically saying, "This guy talks like a fag and his poo poo's all retarded, but you should listen anyway"?
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Sep 13, 2010 23:24
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- BonoMan
- Feb 20, 2002
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Jade Ear Joe
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Walter posted:
"This is the best response to / explanation of __________ I've ever read. I can't believe it was written by a ___________, but every American should read this."
What's the deal with these intros? Does the intended audience of these emails need to be told explicitly that X letter is written by a "smart," but conservative, author? And do they need what appears to be validation that other, like-minded conservatives have read it and agree? The more I think about it, it's like they're letting each other know it's okay to read something other than the directions on the mac and cheese box.
Is this a way of basically saying, "This guy talks like a fag and his poo poo's all retarded, but you should listen anyway"?
I mentioned it earlier, but I think it's just a way of pre-loading an opinion.
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Sep 14, 2010 00:11
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- MrPhaethon
- Aug 22, 2005
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wyrd oft nereð unfægne eorl þonne his ellen deah
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the posted:
Got a crazy forwarded political op/ed from your college newspaper? Post them here.
Not only are your conclusions wrong, but now you've publicly tried to call out the man in charge of grading your tests. Idiot.
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Sep 14, 2010 00:30
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- Saint Sputnik
- Apr 1, 2007
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Tyrannosaurs in P-51 Volkswagens!
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My mom just sent me this, which is weird because she hasn't sent me a single email in 10 years, let alone a forwarded one. And I thought she was pretty chill about muslims.
I feel like I've read it before but didn't see it here after going back a few pages; sorry for the lovely formatting.
quote:Forgive my boldness sending this forward to you, but it was just too true to limit it to the few I normally send forwards to. Please read this and pass it to others to get the word out. The imam in NY said he would not be intimidated by Americans to move his mosque, but Muslims around the world intimidated our country with threats of killing us around the globe if their holy book was burned. Why didn't they just 'retaliate' by burning Bibles instead? Why threats to KILL? Thanks for reading it. Jenise
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Subject: Superb Statement
This is the most clearly stated, sensible, and
historically accurate statement that I’ve read on this
issue (and I’ve read a lot of them).
Statement on the Proposed “Cordoba House”
Mosque near Ground Zero
Newt Gingrich
July 21, 2010 6pm
There should be no mosque near Ground Zero in New
York so long as there are no churches or synagogues in Saudi
Arabia . The time for
double standards that allow Islamists to behave
aggressively toward us while they demand our weakness and
submission is over.
The proposed "Cordoba House" overlooking the
World Trade Center site –
where a group of jihadists killed over 3000
Americans and destroyed one of our most famous
landmarks - is a test of the timidity,
passivity and historic ignorance of American
elites. For example, most of them don’t understand that
“Cordoba House” is a deliberately insulting term. It
refers to Cordoba , Spain – the capital of Muslim
conquerors who symbolized their victory over the
Christian Spaniards by transforming a church there into the
world’s third-largest mosque
complex.
Today, some of the Mosque’s backers insist this
term is being used to "symbolize interfaith cooperation"
when, in fact, every Islamist in
the world recognizes Cordoba as a symbol of
Islamic conquest. It is a sign of their contempt for
Americans and their confidence in our
historic ignorance that they would deliberately
insult us this way.
Those Islamists and their apologists who argue
for "religious toleration" are arrogantly dishonest.
They ignore the fact that more than 100 mosques
already exist in New York City . Meanwhile, there are
no churches or synagogues in all of Saudi Arabia
. In fact no Christian or Jew can even enter Mecca
. And they lecture us about tolerance.
If the people behind the Cordoba House were
serious about religious toleration, they would be
imploring the Saudis, as fellow Muslims, to
immediately open up Mecca to all and immediately
announce their intention to allow non-Muslim houses of
worship in the Kingdom. They
should be asked by the news media if they would
be willing to lead such a campaign.
We have not been able to rebuild the World Trade
Center in nine years.
Now we are being told a 13 story, $100 million
megamosque will be built within a year overlooking the
site of the most devastating
surprise attack in American history.
Finally where is the money coming from? The
people behind the Cordoba House refuse to reveal all
their funding sources.
America is experiencing an Islamist
cultural-political offensive designed to undermine and
destroy our civilization. Sadly, too many of our
elites are the willing apologists for those who would
destroy them
if they could.
No mosque.
No self deception.
No surrender.
The time to take a stand is now - at this site on
this issue.
If, after reading this, you agree with it, please
pass it on to others. This is the most clearly stated,
sensible, and historically accurate statement that
I’ve read on this issue (and I’ve read a lot
of them). Why can’t we have a President as
intelligent, educated, and patriotic as this former
Speaker of the House?
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Sep 14, 2010 17:38
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- Saint Sputnik
- Apr 1, 2007
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Tyrannosaurs in P-51 Volkswagens!
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I looked it up on Snopes and responded (reply all, no less) with the article they link to there debunking the "Cordoba = secret Muslim keyword for conquest and those drat heathen browns are just laughing at us through their dirty brown beards" part.
quote:Thanks for the poorly formatted, misleading rantings of a lunatic! Here's a well-researched response for your consideration. Next please tell me what those wacky morning personalities are talking about on Fox and Friends, preferably in a form with lots of unsourced statements and arbitrary line breaks!
quote:
Professor Newt's Distorted History Lesson
http://gotmedieval.blogspot.com/2010/08/professor-newts-distorted-history.html
So what should modern Christians think when they hear a Muslim use the word "Cordoba"? Well, I know that Newt hasn't been a Catholic for very long now, but maybe his priest ought to direct him to read a little thing called "The Catholic Encyclopedia". Allow me to quote from the 1917 edition (which has the virtue of being in the public domain and easily searchable) and its entry on Cordoba:
"In 786 the Arab caliph, Abd-er Rahman I, began the construction of the great mosque of Cordova, now the cathedral, and compelled many Christians to take part in the preparation of the site and foundations. Though they suffered many vexations, the Christians continued to enjoy freedom of worship, and this tolerant attitude of the ameers seduced not a few Christians from their original allegiance. Both Christians and Arabs co-operated at this time to make Cordova a flourishing city, the elegant refinement of which was unequalled in Europe."
The article then discusses the persecution of the Christians under Abd-ar-Ramman II, which included the martyrdom of St. Eulogius. Then it continues with the rule of those rulers who expanded the Mosque:
"In 962 Abd-er Rahman III was succeeded by his son Al-Hakim. Owing to the peace which the Christians of Cordova then enjoyed [...] the citizens of Cordova, Arabs, Christians, and Jews, enjoyed so high a degree of literary culture that the city was known as the New Athens. From all quarters came students eager to drink at its founts of knowledge. Among the men afterwards famous who studied at Cordova were the scholarly monk Gerbert, destined to sit on the Chair of Peter as Sylvester II (999-1003), the Jewish rabbis Moses and Maimonides†, and the famous Spanish-Arabian commentator on Aristotle, Averroes."
So it's easy to see why a group of Muslims creating a community center in the heart of a majority Christian country in a city known for its large Jewish population might name it "The Cordoba House" They're not, as Gingrich hopes we would believe, discreetly laughing at us because "Cordoba" is some double-secret Islamist code for "conquest"; rather, they're hoping to associate themselves with a particular time in medieval history when the largest library in Western Europe was to be found in Cordoba, a city in which scholars of all three major Abrahamic religions were free to study side-by-side.
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Sep 14, 2010 18:23
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- Intel&Sebastian
- Oct 20, 2002
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colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
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I think the most pressing issue in that whole email is the matter-of-fact treatment of the idea that because Saudi Arabia treats christians and jews poorly that means that America should treat muslims poorly. This is poo poo you're supposed to learn in grade school. Yeah, you're right. Saudi Arabia does a poor job letting religions do what they should be free to do, they cherry pick which ones get preferential treatment and that sucks. I don't want to live there. Which is exactly why we should be ignoring this playground recess justice crap.
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Sep 14, 2010 18:30
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- iLurk
- Jul 25, 2007
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Who wants to get PREGNANT?!?
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I got this at work. I made the person apoligize for fowarding it to me.
quote:
E-Mail of the Year!!
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT
TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
'My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.
Since Congress does
not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave
the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action
will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have
two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side
during the Iraq conflict This list is short . The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains
every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list.
My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by
saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases
indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay
for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR
THEREAFTER It'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.
The American people
are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those
government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a
famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together
with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still
have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations: Screw with us and
we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of
the earth.
Thirsting for a
gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China.
I am ordering the
immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, and Russia. Thanks for
all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.
I have instructed
the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located
in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles
will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains
to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some
of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to
our neighbors: Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more
of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on
List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude
adjustment. I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry divisions sitting
around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.
Oh, by the way,
the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.
We are tired of
the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will
take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist
who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move
there.
It is time for America
to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism.
I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'
Nearly a century
of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us
the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet It is time to eliminate
hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. To the nations
on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on
List 2, a final thought : You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America .. Thank you and good night.'
If you can read
this in English, thank a soldier.
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Sep 14, 2010 18:33
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- 24-7 Urkel Cosplay
- Feb 12, 2003
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^Somehow the six months or so of oil in ANWAR will last us decades.
Intel&Sebastian posted:
I think the most pressing issue in that whole email is the matter-of-fact treatment of the idea that because Saudi Arabia treats christians and jews poorly that means that America should treat muslims poorly. This is poo poo you're supposed to learn in grade school. Yeah, you're right. Saudi Arabia does a poor job letting religions do what they should be free to do, they cherry pick which ones get preferential treatment and that sucks. I don't want to live there. Which is exactly why we should be ignoring this playground recess justice crap.
America, land of freedom to do what I say.
24-7 Urkel Cosplay fucked around with this message at 18:43 on Sep 14, 2010
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Sep 14, 2010 18:38
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- angrytech
- Jun 26, 2009
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iLurk posted:
I got this at work. I made the person apoligize for fowarding it to me.
I wish that reporting people like that for misuse of company resources wouldn't be counterproductive. 
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Sep 14, 2010 18:44
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- Intel&Sebastian
- Oct 20, 2002
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colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
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It kind of reminds me of the wide range of reactions I'd see when I informed people that even if we pumped all of the oil out of the Gulf/BP spill well (assuming there was no spill and we let it run it's entire lifespan) it'd only be enough to last the entire country somewhere under 1 week.
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Sep 14, 2010 18:56
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Sep 11, 2010 06:06
