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Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!

Harashaw posted:

Perhaps the same could be said of all movie adaptions!

Well, except The Shining. That was pretty great.

The Shawshank Redemption (based on a short story) and The Green Mile movies are pretty awesome, plus The Mist was decent. Also Carrie.

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Leovinus
Apr 28, 2005

by Y Kant Ozma Post

Deltron 3030 posted:

The Shawshank Redemption (based on a short story) and The Green Mile movies are pretty awesome, plus The Mist was decent. Also Carrie.

And Merlin's Shop Of Mystical Wonders :haw:

I have no idea why the screenwriter of that half of the movie didn't get sued into oblivion.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


Man, I wrote this long thing about that "Blockade Billy" book King released not too long ago but it got lost in a server hiccup. Suffice to say, it sucks and would be a waste of money to buy it. If you must read it get it from your local library.

lamb SAUCE
Nov 1, 2005

Ooh, racist.

muscles like this? posted:

Man, I wrote this long thing about that "Blockade Billy" book King released not too long ago but it got lost in a server hiccup. Suffice to say, it sucks and would be a waste of money to buy it. If you must read it get it from your local library.

On the first page, is the narrator seriously addressing King like King is interviewing him?

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


Zimadori Zinger posted:

On the first page, is the narrator seriously addressing King like King is interviewing him?

Yeah, pretty much. I'm not exactly sure why he bothered with it though since it never really plays into the narrative.

The problem with the story is that he plays up the whole mystery of what happens at the end to make people forget about what happens but when you actually get there it's completely unrealistic that it would be.

LeosBoots
Aug 26, 2005

The mail is the one final hope for resurrecting a dead planet from its ashes, and the letter carriers are the brave soldiers of God in this righteous crusade.
I really liked Cell, which basically started out as 28 Days Later, and it started because everyone's cell phone goes off at the same time and the people who answer it go all batshit crazy.

But about a third of the way through the cell phone zombies start showing psychic powers for some reason, and then they start flying, and then they start rounding people up and making them listen to the phone signal. They have an evil leader who they never really explain WHY he is the leader and the ending was just sort of absent because we never learn what cause it

Ornamented Death
Jan 25, 2006

Pew pew!

LeosBoots posted:

But about a third of the way through the cell phone zombies start showing psychic powers for some reason, and then they start flying, and then they start rounding people up and making them listen to the phone signal. They have an evil leader who they never really explain WHY he is the leader and the ending was just sort of absent because we never learn what cause it

It's been a while since I've read the book, but I'm fairly certain that both of these issues are covered.

The "leader" isn't really a leader, he's just the body the collective consciousness uses to communicate with the regular humans.

It was strongly hinted that everything was caused by a terrorist plot that went horribly wrong. It's not a concrete answer, but with the nature of the story it's the best we'll get.

SploogeDood84
Sep 1, 2008

by Ozma
Cell or Under the Dome. Under the Dome was great for the first couple hundred pages and just went off track and never came back. All of his novels since the accident have sucked rear end, but he's managed to write decent short stories.

...of SCIENCE!
Apr 26, 2008

by Fluffdaddy

SploogeDood84 posted:

Cell or Under the Dome. Under the Dome was great for the first couple hundred pages and just went off track and never came back. All of his novels since the accident have sucked rear end, but he's managed to write decent short stories.

Duma Key would like a word with you, muchacho. :colbert:

ladymikochan
Mar 15, 2006

A-hunting I will go! A-hunting I will go! Hi-ho the derri-o! With a vagina full of bees!

Mr.Brinks posted:

The Dark Tower.

The failure that is this book is not matched by any of his other works. Sure, most of them are complete garbage, but the problem in this one is how long people invested themselves into the series. After all that time, they were given a book that was just awful, in every way possible.

Thank goodness I am not the only one who dislikes this series. I love the idea of having a central mythos to your work. And when that mythos is based lightly on the works of HP Lovecraft, all the better. I just...never liked the dark tower books. They just bored me. I tried to read them, but got bored and quit. King's fantasy does not do it for me.

In the same vein. I did not like his collabration with Peter Straub, Black House. It drew too much from King's DT stuff and was too fantasy for me. King should stick to pure horror if you ask me. He just, does not cut it with this fantasy stuff.

SploogeDood84
Sep 1, 2008

by Ozma

Cuchulainn posted:

The Long Walk is my favorite story of all time. You won't be disappointed.

Hahaha, I remember some stupid prep in 10th grade did an oral book report over how this was so stupid and dumb and he how he didn't get it. I corrected him over everything he got wrong :smug:

janklow
Sep 28, 2001

whatever in creation exists without my knowledge exists without my consent.

ladymikochan posted:

In the same vein. I did not like his collabration with Peter Straub, Black House. It drew too much from King's DT stuff and was too fantasy for me.
i think it's even worse if you compare it to how much better his prior collaboration with Straub was, but then again, if you're not wild about his more fantasy stuff, you still might not like it.

Chinook
Apr 11, 2006

SHODAI

janklow posted:

i think it's even worse if you compare it to how much better his prior collaboration with Straub was, but then again, if you're not wild about his more fantasy stuff, you still might not like it.

Yeah, The Talisman was a pretty great book. I remember being genuinely creeped out by the ideas in that book. I was very young, probably 14 or so, but it's still a book I'll never sell or give away. Can't say the same for Black House.

OMG JC a Bomb!
Jul 13, 2004

We are the Invisible Spatula. We are the Grilluminati. We eat before and after dinner. We eat forever. And eventually... eventually we will lead them into the dining room.
Awhile ago in a mom and pop book store I managed to find a first edition of a Stephen King book that I didn't even know existed (although I'm sure someone mentioned it in this thread at one point)--The Colorado Kid. The lady I bought it from saw the cover and thought it was porn or something. Hell, I thought it was one of his earlier books until I started seeing references to American Idol.

I'm only about a quarter of a way through the book, and I just can't get into it. It's all so--I don't know--pretentious. Hard crime is okay when only a handful of characters have that the-dame-was-loaded-style cynical wit. But King seems determined to make every goddamn character in the story talk and act like that, with the exception of the protagonist herself--who is portrayed as intelligent and skilled, but still trying to earn her noir detective dialog merit badge. I'll still probably finish it. Even if my attitude towards it doesn't improve, the page count is far more reasonable then Insomnia or Just After Sunset, which I basically ran screaming from halfway through.

hatelull
Oct 29, 2004

OMG JC a Bomb! posted:

Awhile ago in a mom and pop book store I managed to find a first edition of a Stephen King book that I didn't even know existed (although I'm sure someone mentioned it in this thread at one point)--The Colorado Kid. The lady I bought it from saw the cover and thought it was porn or something. Hell, I thought it was one of his earlier books until I started seeing references to American Idol.

I'm only about a quarter of a way through the book, and I just can't get into it. It's all so--I don't know--pretentious. Hard crime is okay when only a handful of characters have that the-dame-was-loaded-style cynical wit. But King seems determined to make every goddamn character in the story talk and act like that, with the exception of the protagonist herself--who is portrayed as intelligent and skilled, but still trying to earn her noir detective dialog merit badge. I'll still probably finish it. Even if my attitude towards it doesn't improve, the page count is far more reasonable then Insomnia or Just After Sunset, which I basically ran screaming from halfway through.

I have second thoughts about doing this, so I'm going to just say that you should totally post your immediate thoughts upon finishing that book.

Ornamented Death
Jan 25, 2006

Pew pew!

OMG JC a Bomb! posted:

Even if my attitude towards it doesn't improve, the page count is far more reasonable then Insomnia or Just After Sunset, which I basically ran screaming from halfway through.

I get what you mean about Insomnia, but Just After Sunset is a collection of short stories - even if it has a high page count (it doesn't, at least not compared to most of what King has been putting out for the last ten years), at worst you're only spending ~100 pages with any given story.

ImpAtom
May 24, 2007

I literally could not stand the way The Black House was written. I have a hard time explaining it, but the writing style drove me loving insane. I enjoyed The Talisman enough to try to force myself through it, but the scenes where you'd get the narrator 'flying' you through the town to the various characters just made me want to throw it out the window.

HUSKY DILF
Jan 13, 2007

aggressively chill
Fun Shoe
don't want to start a new thread for this, but I'm reading Imajica now and when Gentle sees the pivot THAT is what the dark tower should have loving been, not bullshit and sneetches

Local Group Bus
Jul 18, 2006

Try to suck the venom out.
The problem there is King just doesn't have Barkers eye for fantasy or is able to create a world(s) that is full of imagination. King is a camp fire story teller; Barker builds loving cathedrals.

Barker is more of a cocktease though. Where the hell is my third book of the art? :argh:

Ornamented Death
Jan 25, 2006

Pew pew!

Are Barker's books better than his short stories? Or more specifically, is he able to put aside his sexuality and write three pages without random gay sex happening?

Local Group Bus
Jul 18, 2006

Try to suck the venom out.
Depends what you mean by better and what turned you off his short stories (and which ones).

There are many different type of Barker novels. The smaller horror ones - Nightbreed etc - and the larger fantasy ones. You could go in order of publication on the latter and be on safe ground. So that's The Damnation Game and Weaveworld.

Damnation Game still has a lot of horror in it and it's certainly a first novel with all that brings to the table but it's good.

Weaveworld is more dark fantasy and probably one of his best works.

The gay sex one you'd probably want to avoid is Sacrament but sex happens in his novels, some of it normal vanilla stuff, most of it weird and metaphysical, but I don't think it's ever every three pages or so.

My suggestion is: Weaveworld then move on to Great and Secret Show if you liked that. Save Imajica for later; it's a hell of a slog and unless you trust Barker the build up can be a little off-putting.

Whisker Biscuit
Dec 15, 2007

Ornamented Death posted:

Are Barker's books better than his short stories? Or more specifically, is he able to put aside his sexuality and write three pages without random gay sex happening?

I think Barker's horror often revolves to some degree around sex and sexuality. It's a pretty powerful part of most people's lives and I think the visceral reactions I've seen people have to his work are testament to his skill at pulling those strings.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010
Looking through this thread, the ending of the Tommyknockers seems to be getting a lot of love. I find this strange, because I thought the book completely went to poo poo 2/3 of the way through.

It's wonderfully subtle horror, then all of a sudden it turns into a b-grade action flick. It read like King wasn't sure how to end so he went "screw it, EXPLOSIONS".

Octy
Apr 1, 2010

Just finished reading The Stand. Man, that was amazing. It just blows all the other books out of the water. I can't remember who it was who recommended it, but thanks. Thank you so much.

Chinook
Apr 11, 2006

SHODAI

Octy posted:

Just finished reading The Stand. Man, that was amazing. It just blows all the other books out of the water. I can't remember who it was who recommended it, but thanks. Thank you so much.

If you like that, consider "The Passage" by Justin Cronin. It had a lot of the same themes, or at least a lot of the same enjoyable themes. It's a fairly new book, though, so you probably won't find it too cheap.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


Chinook posted:

If you like that, consider "The Passage" by Justin Cronin. It had a lot of the same themes, or at least a lot of the same enjoyable themes. It's a fairly new book, though, so you probably won't find it too cheap.

Just be warned though, the book doesn't really have an "ending" per se and Cronin has come out as saying that the next book in the series isn't a direct sequel.

DirtyRobot
Dec 15, 2003

it was a normally happy sunny day... but Dirty Robot was dirty

muscles like this? posted:

Just be warned though, the book doesn't really have an "ending" per se and Cronin has come out as saying that the next book in the series isn't a direct sequel.

Even though a lot is left "open" in a way, I would say The Passage has a more satisfying ending than just about any full-length novel King has written imho.

Rudy Riot
Nov 18, 2007

I'll catch you Bran! Hmm... nevermind.

Chinook posted:

If you like that, consider "The Passage" by Justin Cronin. It had a lot of the same themes, or at least a lot of the same enjoyable themes. It's a fairly new book, though, so you probably won't find it too cheap.

The Passage is about $15 bucks on Amazon for the hardcover. Paperback comes out next year I think. Great deal if you've got Amazon Prime. Haven't started it yet but SK himself has a big quote on the back saying how much he loved it.

I just finished Under the Dome a couple of weeks ago. About half of it was fun to read but it was mostly dissapointing. I used to love King growing up but the Dark Tower series bummed me out and I lost interest in his later stuff.

King's books that still hold up and I'd recommend are:
The Stand
It
The Shining
Salem's Lot (my first Stephen King book)

And like a lot of people have already said, he's got awesome short stories. The Mist is one of my favorites.

Asbury
Mar 23, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 6 years!
Hair Elf

Rudy Riot posted:

King's books that still hold up and I'd recommend are:
The Stand
It
The Shining


After he dies and becomes canon in American literature, I whole-heartedly believe that these three novels will top the list.

Octy
Apr 1, 2010

Chinook posted:

If you like that, consider "The Passage" by Justin Cronin. It had a lot of the same themes, or at least a lot of the same enjoyable themes. It's a fairly new book, though, so you probably won't find it too cheap.

I will check it out, thanks.

3Romeo posted:

After he dies and becomes canon in American literature, I whole-heartedly believe that these three novels will top the list.

It's a pity the first two were horribly adapted. I managed to get my mum to read Misery and she loved it, but I made the mistake of watching It with her. Tim Curry is fantastic, but it just left out too much. You can't adapt a thousand page novel into a three hour movie.

bean_shadow
Sep 27, 2005

If men had uteruses they'd be called duderuses.

Crowetron posted:

I...I liked Dreamcatcher, shitweasels and all. Sorry guys :negative:

That's OK. I like Cujo.

The Shining is my favorite, though.

Ragtimey
May 6, 2009
Not a novel, but comic adaptations count when King has a say during the comic's creation, right?

I really love The Talisman, so I was excited when I heard that there was going to be a comic adaptation. I waited until first individual issues were collected into one volume and bought it to read.

It turned out to be pretty awful. The art was nice, but the writer really dropped the ball when it came to dialogue and pacing.

To add something a little more relevant to the thread, Wizards and Glass was the novel that stopped me getting any farther in The Dark Tower series, but after everything I've read here I'm going to give it another chance.

CombineThresher
Apr 10, 2006

GIT R DONNE

Bookshop Memories posted:

That's OK. I like Cujo.

The Shining is my favorite, though.

Cujo was an awesome book. And I think It has been severely overrated - at best, it fits King's pattern of books with cool concepts and atrocious pacing.

Loving Life Partner
Apr 17, 2003

CombineThresher posted:

Cujo was an awesome book. And I think It has been severely overrated - at best, it fits King's pattern of books with cool concepts and atrocious pacing.

If you read On Writing, I believe he said he wrote Cujo in about 4 days completely high on blow the whole time.

Rev. Bleech_
Oct 19, 2004

~OKAY, WE'LL DRINK TO OUR LEGS!~

Loving Life Partner posted:

If you read On Writing, I believe he said he wrote Cujo in about 4 days completely high on blow the whole time.

...and remembers none of it.

Locus
Feb 28, 2004

But you were dead a thousand times. Hopeless encounters successfully won.

CombineThresher posted:

Cujo was an awesome book. And I think It has been severely overrated - at best, it fits King's pattern of books with cool concepts and atrocious pacing.

It had some good (and quite scary) parts, but I overall I really did think it was kind of bad. And not just because of the preteen gangbang scene, although I think that was a bit telling for King's mental state during parts of the book. It just floundered around too much, and it's weird that it's so many people's go-to recommendation or favorite out of his books.

Ornamented Death
Jan 25, 2006

Pew pew!

Locus posted:

It just floundered around too much, and it's weird that it's so many people's go-to recommendation or favorite out of his books.

Speaking from personal experience, whenever someone recommends It, chances are it's the only book by King they've read.

OMG JC a Bomb!
Jul 13, 2004

We are the Invisible Spatula. We are the Grilluminati. We eat before and after dinner. We eat forever. And eventually... eventually we will lead them into the dining room.

Ornamented Death posted:

I get what you mean about Insomnia, but Just After Sunset is a collection of short stories - even if it has a high page count (it doesn't, at least not compared to most of what King has been putting out for the last ten years), at worst you're only spending ~100 pages with any given story.

I know, but none of the stories were very engaging. I had the same problem with "Everything's Eventual". So many of the stories essentially went like "Normal guy does normal stuff, runs into a wacky situation involving violence, and eventually exits situation." Sure, some of the stories were good. I liked the snakebite paralysis one a lot, but the crazy matre' de and the abusive boyfriend at the reststop stories just seemed terribly lazy. What killed Just After Sunset for me was the exercise bike story. It just didn't engage me.

I actually finished The Colorado Kid. It wasn't bad, I guess, but it had a lot of similarities with the post-van-smashing Stephen King stories that I didn't like--mainly that it was more of a character study than a complete narrative. Nowadays, King reminds me a little of Tarantino. Tarantino is capable of making a fun, engaging movie. But let him get too wrapped up in the characters and their witticisms, and there's a chance that there will be so much emphasis on the wordplay that the narrative gets buried beneath it all. I sort of feel the same way about stories like "The Colorado Kid" as I did about "Deathproof". Strong characters should propel a story forward. And too often the story kind of exists as a backdrop to the characters and their behavior.

Quad
Dec 31, 2007

I've seen pogs you people wouldn't believe

OMG JC a Bomb! posted:

What killed Just After Sunset for me was the exercise bike story. It just didn't engage me.

I saw the audiobook of that a while back.... most "LAMP MONSTER" cover ever.

Just the imagery and the bleeding letters and the "windy" road sign and ooooooh STATIONARY BIKE... funniest drat thing in the world to me walking through a book store.
I wonder if the story has him getting lost, or has a child in some sort of mortal danger, as the font and the bleedingness of it suggest; or if it's just another "guy takes a magical trip and learns that life ain't all bad" kinda story like he's done 1,000 of.

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fishmech
Jul 16, 2006

by VideoGames
Salad Prong
Stationary Bike is a novella length excuse to his wife for why Stephen King wants to not exercise as much as she says he should and also have some donuts and poo poo. :v:

I read it mostly as a light-hearted humorous thing. There's no way that Imaginary construction worker who clears up all the poo poo from the bad food you eat committing suicide because he can't get enough work due to you being healthy isn't funny!

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