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Adar
Jul 27, 2001

BigHead posted:

Gawker has a story about some whiney bitch complaining about $200,000 in student loan debt. This is just like most lawyers, except she has a job. Hilarious article.

I came here to post this, but not for the original article. Check out the comment halfway down:

quote:

loving Ridiculous. Private Loans? 200k for undergrad? I won't be that in debt for my private undergrad and Northeastern Law Degree COMBINED.
She seems to have made a LOT of stupid choices (the least of which is her major sociology= moron) . There is NO intelligent reason, even if you go to a private school, to blow 200K for your undergrad degree.
I'm guessing she was one of those assholes who made fun of me because I wasn't wearing the newest $200 jeans, taking vacation ski trips. Guess whose laughing now. Hope she enjoyed those jeans.

This is so beatiful it makes me want to cry

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nm
Jan 28, 2008

"I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

zzyzx posted:

Now that's a sentence.
triple negatives, what?

evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002

A handy gem from a recent columbia email:

quote:

The number of graduates taking public interest/public service jobs in 2010 was 33% higher than in 2009; and the number of 2Ls taking public interest/public service summer positions in 2010 was nearly seven times as many as in 2008.

commish
Sep 17, 2009

evilweasel posted:

A handy gem from a recent columbia email:

I can't believe Columbia 2Ls can't find firm jobs.

prussian advisor
Jan 15, 2007

The day you see a camera come into our courtroom, its going to roll over my dead body.

commish posted:

I can't believe Columbia 2Ls can't find firm jobs.

The trouble with the internet is it's hard to figure out if someone's being sarcastic or not.

10-8
Oct 2, 2003

Level 14 Bureaucrat
A student at the fourth tier Touro Law School sets us all straight on why he's made a smart investment in his future:

quote:

I am a Touro Law Student and I am proud to be a part of that institution. The professors and administration at Touro are not only highly qualified, but they actually care about their students. Also, the sense of camaraderie among the students is something that students at other law schools should consider emulating.

Is Touro the best law school? Well, it is in Suffolk County, NY . You see? I have a sense of humor about Touro Law School too and can poke fun at myself – everyone regardless of what they do or where they go to school should do that. However, what I refuse to do and what other people outside the Touro community fail to do is recognize that one gets out of any education only what they put into it. For example, I started out in Suffolk County Community College (aka 13th Grade, Scruffolk, High School with Ashtrays) but I worked drat hard and graduated. After graduating with my A.A., I went on to earn my B.A., then an M.A.. Today I am working on a J.D. Take from that what you will.

Here are some questions that I would like to pose to Mr. Mystal:

1. You and other bloggers have implied that Touro Law sells degrees. Not only is that a patently unfounded suggestion, but one who lives in a glass house should not throw stones. True, Touro College had some of this going on, but it was swiftly taken care of. Furthermore, this never occurred in Touro Law School. Now, let’s consider the Ivy League. Anyone with an inkling of the inner-workings of the Ivy League would know that almost nobody fails out. Many should be familiar with the Ivy League’s “Gentleman’s C” for example. So, if there are any schools that “sell” degrees, one could argue that the Ivy League is the worst offender since one only has to pay the tuition to get the degree.

2. You and just about everyone else on this blog and in the legal community at large seem to give a lot of weight to the U.S. News & World Report’s ranking system. Well, you don’t like Fourth Tier schools – that is readily apparent. So why on earth do you value the judgement of a Fourth Tier Magazine such as U.S. News & World Report? When was the last time you or anyone else has even seen someone buying or reading that magazine?

Mr. Mystal, you certainly have a right to say whatever you want about Touro Law School or any other school for that matter. However, when your comments are unfounded, people will start to wonder what your motivations are. Listen, you went to Harvard Law School and that is awesome. I would imagine that you are very intelligent and hardworking. I don’t think it was fair of others to say that you got into the school because of your race, etc. I don’t know you personally and I will go out on a limb and assume most of the people on this blog don’t either.

With that being said, instead of making negative and largely unfounded comments about Touro Law School, why don’t you consider adding something constructive to the dialogue? I don’t know how you can do this exactly, but you can figure it out as you went to Harvard! I don’t buy your argument that you are doing people a favor about “warning” them about the cons of going to law schools, particularly ones that are lower ranked. People that go to law school are smart enough and should do their due diligence when going into the legal field. Times are tough, no one will dispute that. However, these smart people that are going to law school should smarten up and come to terms with reality. And do you know what the reality is? 1. Do well in law school 2. Pass the bar 3. Network 4. Have realistic expectations 5. Don’t be too proud to start at something beneath your ideal 6. Always maintain a positive attitude 7. Be patient

Now, here is something for current students to remember.

What current law students don’t know and what many in the legal field don’t want them to learn is that:

1. The field of law is constantly growing. While certain areas shrink or almost completely fold from time-to-time, there are always emerging areas. Just look at how bankruptcy and elder law are growing and how real estate law isn’t so great (for now at least).

2. People always are going to need lawyers, thus there will always be a demand despite what the state of the economy may be. The law profession is actually “recession proof”.

3. Many lawyers fear increased competition, so they have a direct interest in discouraging people from entering the field. Law services are a product in a sense. The same reason you don’t see Microsoft encouraging competition is the same reason why lawyers don’t – more money can be made when there is less competition.

4. There may actually be a shortage of lawyers in the future, particularly in certain fields and in certain localities. Things like “brain drain” create opportunities for those with skills and an education who stay in such a drained area. Also, why do we forget the coming retirement of the baby-boomers? That actually relates partially to what has been referred to above (more elder law work) and the fact that there are thousands upon thousands of baby-boomer lawyers who will be out of the field in the next 5-10 years.

What does all this mean?

It means that if you go to an ABA accredited school, whether it is Harvard Law or Touro Law, you will likely have great career opportunities in the very near future. As long as you want it, work hard, remain flexible and realistic. If I have not made a solid enough case that is capable of motivating even the students of Fourth Tier schools, I highly recommend reading the works of Norman Vincent People, particularly The Power of Positive Thinking.

[. . .]

– Greg at Touro Law

The sad rationalizations in this letter are staggeringly awesome. If I had this kid's ability to self-deceive I'd just sit at home secure in the illusion that I'm dating a supermodel while making seven figures and working six hours a week.

nm
Jan 28, 2008

"I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

quote:

2. People always are going to need lawyers, thus there will always be a demand despite what the state of the economy may be. The law profession is actually “recession proof”.
Bawahahahaha!

Ainsley McTree
Feb 19, 2004


Adar posted:

I came here to post this, but not for the original article. Check out the comment halfway down:


This is so beatiful it makes me want to cry

Not me FYI

Omerta
Feb 19, 2007

I thought short arms were good for benching :smith:
These are my favorites:
3. Many lawyers fear increased competition, so they have a direct interest in discouraging people from entering the field. Law services are a product in a sense. The same reason you don’t see Microsoft encouraging competition is the same reason why lawyers don’t – more money can be made when there is less competition.

4. There may actually be a shortage of lawyers in the future, particularly in certain fields and in certain localities. Things like “brain drain” create opportunities for those with skills and an education who stay in such a drained area. Also, why do we forget the coming retirement of the baby-boomers? That actually relates partially to what has been referred to above (more elder law work) and the fact that there are thousands upon thousands of baby-boomer lawyers who will be out of the field in the next 5-10 years.

3: One would think, but the 75 law schools in the past 30 years says otherwise. Also lol at "law services are a product in a sense."

4. Is he seriously suggesting that the United States is becomes such an unattractive husk of a country that people are actively fleeing it? As an attorney trained in US law, your "product in a sense" is invaluable to other countries not experiencing " things like brain drain."

I am a Touro law grad. I have no understanding for basic logic (thousands retiring + tens of thousands entering = job opportunities?) or sentence structure.

billion dollar bitch
Jul 20, 2005

To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.
We didn't do things because they weren't hard, we did them because they were in fact hard. We doing hard things. If things were anything other than hard, we would not do them because everyone else would be doing these non-hard things.

Linguica
Jul 13, 2000
You're already dead

did my best without going into any major rewrites

quote:

I am a Touro Law Student and I am proud to be a part of that institution. The professors and administration at Touro are not only highly qualified, but they actually care about their students. Also, the sense of camaraderie among the students is something that students at other law schools should consider emulating.

Is Touro the best law school? Well, it is in Suffolk County, NY . You see? I too have a sense of humor about Touro Law School, too and can poke fun at myself – everyone, regardless of what they do or where they go to school, should do that. However, what I refuse to do, and what other people outside the Touro community fail to do, is recognize that one gets out of any education only what they one puts into it. For example, I started out in Suffolk County Community College, (aka 13th Grade, Scruffolk, High School with Ashtrays) but I worked drat hard and graduated. After graduating with my A.A., I went on to earn my B.A., and then an M.A.. Today I am working on a J.D. Take from that what you will.

Here are some questions that I would like to pose to Mr. Mystal:

1. You and other bloggers have implied that Touro Law sells degrees. Not only is that a patently unfounded suggestion, but one who lives in a glass house should not throw stones. True, Touro College had some of this going on, but it was swiftly taken care of swiftly. Furthermore, this never occurred atin Touro Law School. Now, let’s consider the Ivy League. Anyone with an inkling of the inner -workings of the Ivy League would know that almost nobody fails out. For example, mMany should be familiar with the Ivy League’s “Gentleman’s C. for example. So, if there are any schools that “sell” degrees, one could argue that the Ivy League isare the worst offenders since one only has to pay the tuition to get the degree.

2. You and just about everyone else on this blog and in the legal community at large seem to give a lot of weight to the U.S. News & World Report’s ranking system. Well, you don’t like fFourth tTier schools – that is readily apparent. So why on earth do you value the judgement of a fFourth tTier mMagazine such as U.S. News & World Report? When was the last time you or anyone else has even seen someone buying or reading that magazine?

Mr. Mystal, you certainly have a right to say whatever you want about Touro Law School, or any other school for that matter. However, when your comments are unfounded, people will start to wonder what your motivations are. Listen, you went to Harvard Law School and that is awesome. I would imagine that you are very intelligent and hardworking. I don’t think it was fair of others to say that you got into the school because of your race, etc. I don’t know you personally, and I will go out on a limb and assume most of the people on this blog don’t either.

With that being said, instead of making negative and largely unfounded comments about Touro Law School, why don’t you consider adding something constructive to the dialogue? I don’t know how you can do this exactly, but you can figure it out as you went to Harvard.! I don’t buy your argument that you are doing people a favor about by “warning” them about the cons of going to law schools, particularly ones that are lower ranked. People that go to law school are smart enough, and should do their due diligence when going into the legal field. Times are tough, no one will dispute that. However, these smart people that are going to law school should smarten up and come to terms with reality. And dDo you know what the reality is? 1. Do well in law school; 2. Pass the bar; 3. Network; 4. Have realistic expectations; 5. Don’t be too proud to start at something beneath your ideal; 6. Always maintain a positive attitude; 7. Be patient.

Now, here is something for current students to remember.

What current law students don’t know and what many in the legal field don’t want them to learn is that:

1. The field of law is constantly growing. While certain areas shrink or almost completely fold from time -to -time, there are always emerging areas. Just look at how bankruptcy and elder law are growing and how real estate law isn’t doing so great (for now at least).

2. People always are going to need lawyers, thus there will always be a demand despite what the state of the economy may be. The law profession is actually “recession proof..

3. Many lawyers fear increased competition, so they have a direct interest in discouraging people from entering the field. Law services are a product in a sense. The same reason you don’t see Microsoft encouraging competition is the same reason why lawyers don’t – more money can be made when there is less competition.

4. There may actually be a shortage of lawyers in the future, particularly in certain fields and in certain localities. Things like “brain drain” create opportunities for those with skills and an education who stay in such a drained area. Also, why do we forget the coming retirement of the baby -boomers? That actually relates partially to what has been referred to above (more elder law work) and the fact that there are thousands upon thousands of baby- boomer lawyers who will be out of the field in the next five5 to -ten10 years.

What does all this mean?

It means that if you go to an ABA accredited school, whether it is Harvard Law or Touro Law, you will likely have great career opportunities in the very near future, a. As long as you want it, work hard, and remain flexible and realistic. If I have not made a solid enough case that is capable of motivating even the students of fFourth tTier schools, I highly recommend reading the works of Norman Vincent PeoplePeale, particularly The Power of Positive Thinking.

[. . .]

– Greg at Touro Law

Linguica fucked around with this message at 02:41 on Nov 23, 2010

billion dollar bitch
Jul 20, 2005

To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.
Touro is a good school, because it gives people at Brooklyn an institution to look down on, which isn't a very easy task.

Draile
May 6, 2004

forlorn llama

Linguica posted:

What?



All this graph shows is whether the circuit judge providing the clerk was nominated by a Democrat or by a Republican. It's still possible for a circuit judge to hire someone of the opposite political party and for that person to get a clerkship with SCOTUS. It may not happen often (or at all in Thomas's case, apparently) but it could happen and wouldn't be reflected in this chart if it did.

TheBestDeception
Nov 28, 2007

evilweasel posted:

A handy gem from a recent columbia email:

Hey I have a government job and I love it. I've been meaning to write about it but all the free time I have makes me lazy or something.

billion dollar bitch
Jul 20, 2005

To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.
Although I guess you can say that about every school except Yale. gently caress you, Yale.

Linguica
Jul 13, 2000
You're already dead

Draile posted:

All this graph shows is whether the circuit judge providing the clerk was nominated by a Democrat or by a Republican. It's still possible for a circuit judge to hire someone of the opposite political party and for that person to get a clerkship with SCOTUS. It may not happen often (or at all in Thomas's case, apparently) but it could happen and wouldn't be reflected in this chart if it did.
I'm not saying that it's a foolproof indicator, but the fact that Scalia and Thomas literally ignore the entire segment of the judiciary nominated by Clinton or Carter says something

G-Mawwwwwww
Jan 31, 2003

My LPth are Hot Garbage
Biscuit Hider
Roger_Mudd, I just had an idea.

We need an old, alcholic drunken redneck Texas lawyer to do it but I think it's possible (and I know one). Both of us join him and open a criminal law/family law firm, pitch it to TLC and get crazy loving clients through free advertising.

One of us has to sleep with our clients and one of us has to be the giant yelling rear end in a top hat.

We'll be rich. And have jobs.

G-Mawwwwwww fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Nov 23, 2010

Mookie
Mar 22, 2005

I have to return some videotapes.

builds character posted:

Class of 2009 – $7,500
Class of 2008 — $10,000
Class of 2007 — $15,000
Class of 2006 — $20,000
Class of 2005 — $25,000
Class of 2004 — $30,000
Class of 2003 — $35,000

gently caress YOU AND YOUR lovely BONUSES CRAVATH! NOT EVERYONE'S FIRM IS AS BONED AS YOURS BUT YOU hosed US ANYWAY YOU SHITWEASELS!

Omerta
Feb 19, 2007

I thought short arms were good for benching :smith:

Mookie posted:

gently caress YOU AND YOUR lovely BONUSES CRAVATH! NOT EVERYONE'S FIRM IS AS BONED AS YOURS BUT YOU hosed US ANYWAY YOU SHITWEASELS!

I was wondering how long that would take.

Adar
Jul 27, 2001
e: nm, comments still there, still laughing

Adar fucked around with this message at 05:13 on Nov 23, 2010

Mookie
Mar 22, 2005

I have to return some videotapes.

Omerta posted:

I was wondering how long that would take.

Until I took the time to check ATL and then get over the red mist of rage that came across my vision.

When I came to, there were three dead hookers in my office...

Petey
Nov 26, 2005

For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

10-8 posted:

A student at the fourth tier Touro Law School sets us all straight on why he's made a smart investment in his future:


The sad rationalizations in this letter are staggeringly awesome. If I had this kid's ability to self-deceive I'd just sit at home secure in the illusion that I'm dating a supermodel while making seven figures and working six hours a week.

My cousin graduated from Touro. In his defense, he is a smart kid who just bombed the LSATs, and he killed it in law school and was accepted into AF JAG.

But I went to that graduation, and their class speaker basically gave a speech about how he had been a struggling actor who met a lawyer in an Armani suit so he decided to go to law school, and now he is graduating from law school and there are no jobs.

It was horrid.

Copernic
Sep 16, 2006

...A Champion, who by mettle of his glowing personal charm alone, saved the universe...

Mookie posted:

Until I took the time to check ATL and then get over the red mist of rage that came across my vision.

When I came to, there were three dead hookers in my office...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G29d6RDSK1c

Napoleon I
Oct 31, 2005

Goons of the Fifth, you recognize me. If any man would shoot his emperor, he may do so now.
My evidence textbook was originally purchased at Touro Law School.

The former owner underlined basically every single word and wrote nonsensical or blatantly obvious notes in the margins.'

Also lots of exclamation points.

urmomhasaids
Oct 6, 2009
I have gone to law school specifically with the desire to practice elder law....where are these (non-solo) jobs?

nm
Jan 28, 2008

"I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

CaptainScraps posted:

Harvey, I just had an idea.

We need an old, alcholic drunken redneck Texas lawyer to do it but I think it's possible (and I know one). Both of us join him and open a criminal law/family law firm, pitch it to TLC and get crazy loving clients through free advertising.

One of us has to sleep with our clients and one of us has to be the giant yelling rear end in a top hat.

We'll be rich. And have jobs.
Huuum, can I get in on this? How hard is the TX bar? Can someone with CA and MN bar memberships pass in?

Bulky Bartokomous
Nov 3, 2006

In Mypos, only the strong survive.

I just applied for a job that requires a JD and pays $30k a year. gently caress this gay life.

Alaemon
Jan 4, 2009

Proctors are guardians of the sanctity and integrity of legal education, therefore they are responsible for the nourishment of the soul.

Dantu posted:

I just applied for a job that requires a JD and pays $30k a year. gently caress this gay life.

Have you considered working for TSA? In terms of public perception, lawyer to airport security seems like a lateral move these days.

nm
Jan 28, 2008

"I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

Alaemon posted:

Have you considered working for TSA? In terms of public perception, lawyer to airport security seems like a lateral move these days.
Lawyers probably touch less junk.
Maybe.

Alaemon
Jan 4, 2009

Proctors are guardians of the sanctity and integrity of legal education, therefore they are responsible for the nourishment of the soul.

nm posted:

Lawyers probably touch less junk.
Maybe.

I assume everyone's read about the Michigan lawyer who told his female divorce clients they could settle his fee on the "couch of restitution"?

Because that guy was MADE for TSA.

Petey
Nov 26, 2005

For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

urmomhasaids posted:

I have gone to law school specifically with the desire to practice elder law....where are these (non-solo) jobs?

Lots of client turnover in that.

Linguica
Jul 13, 2000
You're already dead

Petey posted:

Lots of client turnover in that.
This is true

Gotta turn them over every two hours to prevent bedsores :rimshot:

CmdrSmirnoff
Oct 27, 2005
happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy
I would much rather practice Elder law

:cthulhu:

Defenestration
Aug 10, 2006

"It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"


Grimey Drawer

Mookie posted:

gently caress YOU AND YOUR lovely BONUSES CRAVATH! NOT EVERYONE'S FIRM IS AS BONED AS YOURS BUT YOU hosed US ANYWAY YOU SHITWEASELS!
Shoulda gone to Quinn, since they seem to be the only firm that is willing to make an independent decision on anything rather than follow the leader like corporate sheeple

Sorry about your monies though :(

builds character
Jan 16, 2008

Keep at it.

Defenestration posted:

Shoulda gone to Quinn, since they seem to be the only firm that is willing to make an independent decision on anything rather than follow the leader like corporate sheeple

Sorry about your monies though :(

Plus then you could have gone hiking with JQ who is, I hear, a totally awesome dude and does run a "sweatshop" in any sense of the word. At least their firm leader is honest about bonuses (or at least he was last year).

Defleshed posted:

That is basically all I see when I read the posts about this poo poo on ATL. Why do I even read ATL I don't think I could care any less about 95% of the things that get posted over there.

Sometimes it's really difficult to walk a mile in someone else's bespoke shoes. :(

edit: 2007 was the best year. 115k bonus for 8th years. :allears:

builds character fucked around with this message at 15:53 on Nov 23, 2010

entris
Oct 22, 2008

by Y Kant Ozma Post
Can someone explain why Cravath's bonus structure is a big deal? From the comments here, I am assuming that Cravath is a benchmark that other BigLaw firms measure against.

Roger_Mudd
Jul 18, 2003

Buglord

entris posted:

Can someone explain why Cravath's bonus structure is a big deal? From the comments here, I am assuming that Cravath is a benchmark that other BigLaw firms measure against.

Cravath invented the modern business model for practicing law. All other big law just parrot them.

Mookie
Mar 22, 2005

I have to return some videotapes.

entris posted:

Can someone explain why Cravath's bonus structure is a big deal? From the comments here, I am assuming that Cravath is a benchmark that other BigLaw firms measure against.

Firms tend to make a concerted effort to follow each other on compensation and bonuses. Cravath tends to be one of the benchmarks (for good or for ill). Cravath also happens to have had a lot of problems during the recession, and took a very large hit to its bottom line.

So Cravath gave lovely bonuses. It also gave them early, most likely in order to prevent other benchmark firms from getting out in front of it.

I bet we get to watch Irell, Skadden, and possibly Kirkland pay better bonuses, and the rest of the major firms sodomize their associates because Cravath did.

Rad.

Stunt Rock
Jul 28, 2002

DEATH WISH AT 120 DECIBELS
If anyone is a UCC expert I have something I could use some advice on.

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entris
Oct 22, 2008

by Y Kant Ozma Post

Roger_Mudd posted:

Cravath invented the modern business model for practicing law. All other big law just parrot them.

I think you mean, the modern business model for practicing BigLaw.

...and isn't this the same model that is currently under attack?

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