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Hot Jam posted:When did I say I planned to ignore it or said I thought it will go away? I know shes not willing to take a test until her next missed period which will be at least another week. I was just looking for a reference point as to how much thought I should be giving this until that point. I know nobody can actually tell me. Shes a fairly heavy drinker, which heightens my concern and makes it harder to sit and wait. Sorry to interrupt your gettin' knocked up thread with a question about gettin' knocked up. I tested positive 5 days before my period with an early response test, you might want to try one of those.
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Nov 22, 2010 10:53
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Hot Jam posted:Sorry to interrupt your gettin' knocked up thread with a question about gettin' knocked up. Problem is that you walked into a thread full of people trying really, really hard to get pregnant with an anecdote about how your girlfriend may have accidentally gotten knocked up by telling us how she's feeling instead of going to the pharmacy and getting a pregnancy test. The answer is "maybe." Does she think she's possibly pregnant, or is it just your speculation at the moment? Has she expressed any feelings about possibly being pregnant one way or the other? What course of action would you both take if she is pregnant? Is your relationship strong enough to deal with this? Is this a good time for a baby? Are you financially sound enough to cover a pregnancy and a child? Do you want to spend the rest of your life raising a child from here on out? These are all questions you both should have addressed with each other before coming to us.
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Nov 22, 2010 13:12
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Hot Jam posted:When did I say I planned to ignore it or said I thought it will go away? I know shes not willing to take a test until her next missed period which will be at least another week. I was just looking for a reference point as to how much thought I should be giving this until that point. I know nobody can actually tell me. Shes a fairly heavy drinker, which heightens my concern and makes it harder to sit and wait. Sorry to interrupt your gettin' knocked up thread with a question about gettin' knocked up. She had unprotected sex (apparently during her ovulation time!  ) while seemingly not wanting a baby. She refuses to take a pregnancy test right now, but has a slight problem with heavy drinking in the interim.And you come to a thread where people are trying to live healthy and get pregnant, asking something that only a pregnancy test can answer. Yes, you should worry. At least until the test comes back negative. Wishful thinking means nothing, your dual pregnancy dreams mean nothing. And then you should maybe ask yourselves all the questions Good_Vs_Evil mentions before you experiment with contraceptive-free sex again.
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Nov 22, 2010 17:46
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Hot Jam posted:When did I say I planned to ignore it or said I thought it will go away? I know shes not willing to take a test until her next missed period which will be at least another week. I was just looking for a reference point as to how much thought I should be giving this until that point. I know nobody can actually tell me. Shes a fairly heavy drinker, which heightens my concern and makes it harder to sit and wait. Sorry to interrupt your gettin' knocked up thread with a question about gettin' knocked up. There's a birth control megathread where questions like yours come up all of the time.
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Nov 22, 2010 18:51
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I think one of the reasons we've had two people in the past week come in here to ask about accidental pregnancies is the title of the thread. "Gettin' Knocked Up" gives the impression that it could be about finding yourself pregnant, rather than the process of trying to get pregnant. Reading the OP would dispel that misconception, but how many people read that if they've got a one-off question like the two we've encountered? Maybe "Trying to Get Knocked Up" would be more in line with the actual purpose and content of the thread and not make people think that it's a place to talk about the consequences of accidental pregnancies. I think that guy's biggest problem though was that he was asking a question that has no online answer. He would have gotten the same "are you stupid, we can't tell you that, she needs a pregnancy test" answer regardless of where he'd posted it.
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Nov 22, 2010 19:25
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I Wish I Was posted:I think one of the reasons we've had two people in the past week come in here to ask about accidental pregnancies is the title of the thread. "Gettin' Knocked Up" gives the impression that it could be about finding yourself pregnant, rather than the process of trying to get pregnant. Reading the OP would dispel that misconception, but how many people read that if they've got a one-off question like the two we've encountered? I was thinking that same thing. The Trying to Conceive Megathread? I don't want to read about anymore dudes having unprotected sex with their drunk girlfriends and getting them pregnant. gently caress them. Also, I got my period.
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Nov 22, 2010 22:16
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fishandcandy posted:
This. Also, that sucks, fishandcandy. 
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Nov 22, 2010 23:53
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Hot Jam posted:When did I say I planned to ignore it or said I thought it will go away? I know shes not willing to take a test until her next missed period which will be at least another week. I was just looking for a reference point as to how much thought I should be giving this until that point. I know nobody can actually tell me. Shes a fairly heavy drinker, which heightens my concern and makes it harder to sit and wait. Sorry to interrupt your gettin' knocked up thread with a question about gettin' knocked up.
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Nov 23, 2010 00:59
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Ok sorry guys, I realized soon after that my question was kind of pointless and nobody here can give me the answer. The poster who said I was looking for peace of mind is exactly correct. That's really all I'm after. I do love this girl more than anything, but I don't know if our relationship can sustain this right now. That said I would never make her get an abortion. Shes expressed a bit of concern that she might be pregnant, but we are apart for a week due to the holidays and I feel like the pregnancy test thing is something we should do together. We've discussed it before and have come to different conclusions at different times depending on how our relationship is going. This is probably an indicator that since we aren't entirely sure we should be taking every precaution to make sure it doesn't happen. I apologize for derailing discussion for the rest of you who honestly concerned with getting pregnant in a healthy environment/relationship. I wish all of you the best of luck and hopefully I too will have a fortuitous outcome. fishandcandy posted:I don't want to read about anymore dudes having unprotected sex with their drunk girlfriends and getting them pregnant. gently caress them. I am sorry, I don't mean to trivialize something that is so important to a lot of people. I know the way I talk about it probably makes people struggling to get pregnant feel pretty frustrated. When your entire world is on the verge of changing I think people tend to be a bit more selfish and shortsighted, I guess that is my excuse. Best of luck to you. old-timey newspaper gal fucked around with this message at 06:04 on Nov 24, 2010 |
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Nov 24, 2010 05:53
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Forget taking the test together, that part really doesn't matter. If she's the drinker you say she is she needs to man up and take the goddamn test and decide what she wants to do. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is absolutely terrible and selfish to inflict onto another person, should she decide to keep it.
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Nov 24, 2010 06:16
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I'm back again! Ultrasound confirmed a missed miscarriage again - going to hospital to have a D&C Tomorrow morning. They tested the fetus last time and in laymans terms she basically explained that when the egg and sperm come together, they swap and share all the "information" for lack of better word, then split apart. But it didn't split apart, so the whole lot went into the uterus with too many chromosomes and stuff, so it wouldn't have been livable. Matt and I are getting blood tests done to check our chromosomes and stuff too, in case there's a problem, because we fall pregnant easily but just can't STAY pregnant.
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Nov 25, 2010 00:44
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dishonesty posted:I'm back again! Well, poo poo. Are they doing the testing on the fetus again?
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Nov 25, 2010 02:30
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fishandcandy posted:Well, poo poo. Yeah they will be.
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Nov 25, 2010 02:57
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dishonesty posted:I'm back again! I'm so sorry.
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Nov 25, 2010 02:59
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dishonesty posted:I'm back again! Oh god, that's awful. I'm so sorry.
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Nov 25, 2010 04:01
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I'm so sorry dishonesty. That's terrible.
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Nov 25, 2010 04:11
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I'm so sorry to hear that, Dishonesty. 
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Nov 25, 2010 05:32
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I'm sorry to Dishonesty and Fish. I really hope it happens soon for the both of you!
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Nov 25, 2010 08:47
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dishonesty So sorry to hear that, hon. Hopefully the testing will find out what's going wrong with your pregnancies.
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Nov 25, 2010 15:09
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I don't know if any of you are familiar with Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope - it's a website featuring stories from women who've lost pregnancies and infants. They also have a forum. I was pretty obsessed with dead babies for awhile and I'm a mod for the Termination for Medical Reasons board. It's a good place to vent about stuff I can't really talk about with other people. Anyway, I don't know if you, dishonesty, or anybody else would be interested but I thought I'd throw it out there.
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Nov 25, 2010 21:57
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Has anyone had a hysterosalpingogram? How does it compare to cryotherapy in terms of pain and expulsion?
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Nov 29, 2010 15:34
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Aericina posted:Has anyone had a hysterosalpingogram? How does it compare to cryotherapy in terms of pain and expulsion? Oooh I have. I haven't had cryotherapy but I had an HSG last year during my search for the cause of my fertility issues. I had to go to the hospital and prep like I was having surgery. They filled me up with a very sticky ink solution that maps out your fallopian tubes and then you can see your whole reproductive system on a monitor (to check for blockages). It doesn't take very long at all. I had to wear a pad to deal with the sticky discharge but was able to go to work that day. They make you sit around for a while to make sure you don't pass out. I think I got a prescription for pain pills but didn't need them.
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Nov 29, 2010 16:32
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They suggested that I take 800 mg of ibuprofen before. You're suggesting that it's not really painful? What was the next step after that? I'm going in for an ultrasound today and the HSG is scheduled for Wednesday at 2p. My GYN suggested based on the test results to put me on Clomid after that. Is that how fast things usually go?
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Nov 29, 2010 17:47
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Aericina posted:Has anyone had a hysterosalpingogram? How does it compare to cryotherapy in terms of pain and expulsion? I had one a few months ago, but I've never had cryotherapy. I was given Doxycycline which I started the night before and took it every 12 hours for 3 days. I was instructed to take 800mg of Ibuprofen 30-60 minutes before the procedure, so I did. The procedure wasn't horribly painful, but it wasn't fun either. I'd say uncomfortable with a hint of pain. They told me to take more Ibuprofen if I needed to, but I didn't need to. It was all rather simple. I went into the fertility clinic, they did what they needed to do, they gave me a pad, and then I left. I was on a cycle of birth control pills to try to get rid of an ovarian cyst at the time, otherwise I would have been put on Clomid that same cycle.
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Nov 29, 2010 18:10
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I'm pretty sure some of my ultrasounds have been more painful than my HSG since my right ovary likes to hide. My main recollection was feeling achy/crampy afterwards and the sticky sticky. If you're going into infertility cycles, be prepared for lots and lots of trans-vaginal ultrasounds (to measure follicles) and blood work. Also, in case anyone is interested... I had $20K worth of infertility coverage on my health insurance which was great until I received the shock that they don't cover infertility meds. A round of Clomid is pretty cheap (like under a $100?) but the injectibles are crazy expensive. In my last round, I was taking $460 worth of medicine PER DAY for like a week. Insurance covered the ultrasounds, bloodwork, IUIs and IVF. Hopefully all that is behind me now, but if I need to transfer my frozen embryos in the future I'll have to pay out of pocket.
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Nov 29, 2010 19:24
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I don't know WTF is up with my body; I guess I need an appointment with my gyn. It's been like two months since I've had a period, my boobs hurt like hell, but I get negative pregnancy tests every time I take one. I've been losing weight, so that may be contributing, but it's not like I'm on a starvation diet and previous weight-loss attempts haven't stopped my periods.
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Nov 29, 2010 19:26
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I Wish I Was posted:I don't know WTF is up with my body; I guess I need an appointment with my gyn. It's been like two months since I've had a period, my boobs hurt like hell, but I get negative pregnancy tests every time I take one. I've been losing weight, so that may be contributing, but it's not like I'm on a starvation diet and previous weight-loss attempts haven't stopped my periods. Seeing a gyn sounds like a very good idea. I don't want to give you false hope but I do know a woman who continued to get negative pregnancy tests until she was four months pregnant. It's a possibility. Anyway, regardless of what's going on, you probably should see that gyn.
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Nov 30, 2010 00:50
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I took a home pregnancy test on Monday because I had to do SOMETHING. I was all busy and then Thanksgiving was over and it was four days of torturous waiting. The HPT was negative, so I figured the blood pregnancy test would be too. I went in yesterday and, indeed, I am not pregnant. I felt really horrible yesterday. I'm feeling a bit better now, but it's hard to believe that some day I will actually get pregnant. This will be the 18th cycle of us trying to conceive. It's so frustrating and depressing. I don't know what else to say. It just sucks to get negative after negative.
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Dec 1, 2010 14:21
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Grayscale Rainbow posted:I took a home pregnancy test on Monday because I had to do SOMETHING. I was all busy and then Thanksgiving was over and it was four days of torturous waiting. The HPT was negative, so I figured the blood pregnancy test would be too. I went in yesterday and, indeed, I am not pregnant. I felt really horrible yesterday. I'm feeling a bit better now, but it's hard to believe that some day I will actually get pregnant. This will be the 18th cycle of us trying to conceive. It's so frustrating and depressing. I don't know what else to say. It just sucks to get negative after negative. I'm so sorry. The two week wait is torturous and then you get the bad news and holy poo poo does it suck. IUI seems like such a sure thing but it failed for me time after time even though I was able to get pregnant naturally last year. Are you moving on to another cycle? Did your body respond well to Clomid? Are you going to get a new protocol? It's really horrible to go through, but don't give up yet. Again, I'm really sorry.
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Dec 1, 2010 16:00
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Grayscale Rainbow, that really sucks. I'm sorry. Last cycle when I got my negative I felt like sinking into the floor and dreaded going to work, where I knew my pregnant co-worker would be bubbling about her upcoming baby, nor did I feel like visiting my husband's family, where everyone cooed over my sister-in-law's 10 week old "accident." Negatives really, really suck when you've been trying for so long and I keep thinking "Well, the more more negatives we get, the more I'll get used to seeing them and stop being depressed, right?" I wish it worked like that... On a slightly different note, I have a question for everyone else in the thread. Do your family members know you're trying to conceive, and if not, why? A few close friends of me and my husband know we're trying for a baby (I sort of blew the secret by leaving ovulation and pregnancy test wrappers all over the bathroom), but we decided not to tell either of our families because of how polar opposite their opinions are on that (His family: WHERE IS OUR NEXT GRANDCHILD; My family: OH GOD NEVER HAVE KIDS DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!). We thought that if they all knew we were trying to conceive, the stress of constantly hearing two vastly different opinions would get to us and once we got pregnant, we'd just be like "Ha ha! Doesn't matter WHEN either of you wanted us to have kids, we have them NOW!" However, not telling anyone is coming with a whole different set of stress because at Thanksgiving with his family, people would coo over our little nephew, then immediately seek us out in the crowd and say, "So when are you having kids?" And since we didn't want to get into specifics, my husband would just answer with some vague "Oh, you know, when it happens" which earned us a lot of "Hmmm" looks, but thankfully only one person tried pressing further. I don't know, it's been almost a year and a half since we started trying to conceive and I'm beginning to wonder if we should just tell people, although that won't stop the barrage of questions every time we see his family because that's just how they are. But I don't know, I guess I don't want them looking at us with pity, like, "Oh, look at the young couple who can't get pregnant, poor them!" Or maybe my hormones are just having me make a big deal out of nothing. I can't tell right now.
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Dec 1, 2010 16:59
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Farrah: yes, we're moving on to another cycle. We're going to do IUI again. If it doesn't work after a few more tries I think they are going to look at my husband's sperm to make sure they're healthy. My body did respond well to Clomid. What I'm hoping is that there isn't another cyst, like what happened the last time I did a cycle of Clomid. However the ovary with the cyst was the one with the biggest follicle this past cycle, so I don't see why we couldn't try even if I did get another one. I'll ask them about it if need be. Banana Cat: my husband and I told his cousin and her husband when we first started trying, mainly because I was super excited and wanted to talk to someone about it. However, I really regret it now because I do NOT want to talk to her about the problems we've been having (she's in a lovely marriage, broke, and got knocked up easily with both of her children; I love her dearly but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't resentful). And when she asks me point blank how things are going I can't lie because, obviously, I'm not pregnant, but I don't want to tell her either. Luckily I don't see her all that often, so it's not a huge problem, but I still wish she didn't know. I feel like in the back of her head she's going "well, at least I can have children, unlike you!" She'll say things like, "I'm sorry you're having trouble. I can't help it, I'm just really fertile. The doctor even said so." At which point I want to punch her in the mouth. I mean, seriously? And she says poo poo like that a lot, little jabby comments. Sometimes I loving hate women and their psychological warfare Anyways, sorry for the derail. I've thought about telling my parents, but I don't want to deal with all the complications that would bring. They really want grandchildren. They haven't said so, but it's pretty obvious. I think it would just add more pressure, also I don't trust my mom to keep it a secret. Not that she'd tell it on purpose, she'd just let it slip. And then that entire side of her family will know (there are no secrets) and I REALLY don't want to deal with that. I also don't want to deal with the pity. There are so many other reasons we are keeping it to ourselves, and I think it's for the best for our situation. Not to say it's the best for everyone. My husband and I are also very private people (it took a long time for me to be comfortable posting here, and I still get nervous; I have a lot of anxiety around sharing personal information) and trying to conceive, especially when you're having problems, is very personal and emotionally charged and I just want it to be between us.So, I have no advice, but I have never regretted not telling anyone about us trying to conceive, and those we did tell, I regret telling.
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Dec 1, 2010 18:40
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Period started this rnorning. Suck. We haven't told anyone that we're actively trying, although we did tell our parents a year or so ago that kids might be on the horizon someday. I'm 38, so things may not proceed quickly or at all, and I don't want either of us being interrogated about our progress so we're keeping it to ourselves.
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Dec 1, 2010 18:41
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Banana Cat posted:However, not telling anyone is coming with a whole different set of stress because at Thanksgiving with his family, people would coo over our little nephew, then immediately seek us out in the crowd and say, "So when are you having kids?" And since we didn't want to get into specifics, my husband would just answer with some vague "Oh, you know, when it happens" which earned us a lot of "Hmmm" looks, but thankfully only one person tried pressing further. I don't know, it's been almost a year and a half since we started trying to conceive and I'm beginning to wonder if we should just tell people, although that won't stop the barrage of questions every time we see his family because that's just how they are. But I don't know, I guess I don't want them looking at us with pity, like, "Oh, look at the young couple who can't get pregnant, poor them!" Going through the whole "trying" thing has made me realize that there really is no reason to ask couples about children if they don't already have them. Especially if the person doing the asking had no issues getting pregnant.
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Dec 1, 2010 19:11
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Thanks guys, I was beginning to feel like there was something wrong or selfish of me for not wanting to tell our families, but deep down I really, really don't want to. I talked to my husband about it after we drove back from his family's place, and said something to the effect of, "That was really uncomfortable for me because I don't remember anyone in my family ever asking those questions to other people when I was growing up." He said, "Yeah, I don't like being asked personal questions like that either, but that's just how my family is." I think what really got to me was that people seemed to specifically seek us out to specifically ask us about kids and lost interest in talking to us when we didn't respond with a, "Oh YES, we can't WAIT until we have a little bundle of joy in our arms!" I swear next time I'm answering with, "Actually, yes, we're trying for kids and according to my fertility chart it looks like we're supposed to be having sex right now. Let's go find the bedroom, honey!" Lump Shaker, I agree, I'm not sure if the question would have crossed my mind before all this, but now I definitely would never ask a couple about their plans for kids. It's really grating!
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Dec 1, 2010 23:41
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Banana Cat posted:I swear next time I'm answering with, "Actually, yes, we're trying for kids and according to my fertility chart it looks like we're supposed to be having sex right now. Let's go find the bedroom, honey!" The worry with that is that they would respond with a, "Yes, yes! Go now! Get in there and do this!" 
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Dec 1, 2010 23:48
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I haven't told anyone we're trying apart from my hairdresser. Sometimes you feel like telling somebody and you don't want the drama that comes with telling friends/family. I know kind of want to know what happened with that stupid guy's drunk girlfriend.
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Dec 2, 2010 02:22
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Grayscale Rainbow posted:My husband and I are also very private people (it took a long time for me to be comfortable posting here, and I still get nervous; I have a lot of anxiety around sharing personal information) and trying to conceive, especially when you're having problems, is very personal and emotionally charged and I just want it to be between us. Yeah... and talking about trying to conceive is also talking about having sex and I feel weird about that. I post more on Babycenter and some other TTC boards where I feel more anonymous but I still don't talk about "babydancing" or post my chart or anything.
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Dec 2, 2010 17:44
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Okay, I don't know wtf. I've been tracking my fluids and temperatures since my cycle started and it's gotten a bit hard to judge the past few days. For instance, yesterday, I took my temperature and it had elevated. But I hadn't been at rest for 3 hours at least when i'd taken it. So I slept in some more and when i took my temperature again, it was not elevated and normal range. My cervix started getting soft and high and I was getting that lotiony fluid. My husband and I had sex yesterday and about an hour later, I checked my cervix and it was low and hard! I never got eggwhite! Today, my temperature was elevated and I checked my cervix about 20 minutes ago and it was soft and high! I don't know what to make of this. This is the first time I'm tracking and looking at all this so I don't know. The good news is that if I DID ovulate already, we've had sex three times the past 5 days so I think we're good in "catching" it. I'm gonna make sure we have sex at least a few times in the next 5 days to make doubly sure, but I wish I knew what the hell was going on with my body! ...this is a lot of info about my cervix to share with complete strangers. Is it weird?
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Dec 2, 2010 22:35
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I had similar confusion myself, and so I started using ovu strips. It was a good call for me, as I ovulated right after trying the strips for the first time, and got knocked up. 
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Dec 2, 2010 23:20
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So whoever said the HSG wasn't painful at all, I'd like to have a word with you. Four different catheters and they were all too big to fit in the cervical opening. The doctor resorted to just shoving it in there and holy poo poo, ow. I've been in bed for about 30 hours and it still hurts to cough or laugh. This poo poo better be worth it.
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Dec 3, 2010 05:04
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