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Phil Moscowitz posted:
hahaha who does this? That's like something out of the Mad Men era.
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Dec 17, 2010 21:52
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entris posted:hahaha who does this? 
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Dec 17, 2010 22:01
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Phil Moscowitz posted:One time when I was a young associate about three lawyers and me were entertaining a client in the Quarter. By the end of lunch a partner was running around the table with a bottle of Crown Royal he stole from the bar, filling wine glasses with whiskey while a waitress followed him around keeping track in a little notepad. I think the tab was just under $2k for the five of us. Well now I am definitely going to call you when I'm in town on Saturday.
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Dec 17, 2010 22:01
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Stunt Rock posted:Well now I am definitely going to call you when I'm in town on Saturday.
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Dec 17, 2010 22:06
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Petey posted:Don't go Sophia. It will ruin you. Petey, SA has already dragged me to evil. I may as well finish the process!
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Dec 17, 2010 22:10
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You're not far off. This was the sane guy who ran round with the bottle of Crown in the other story. One time around Halloween someone told him a female paralegal was wearing a cat mask and so he yells from his desk, "[paralegal], come in here so I can see your costume. And you better be on all fours like a good little pussy." This is the same guy that made the decision about who to list first on the letterhead between me and a guy who passed the bar with me by whoever could pound a beer the fastest. Another time we were having lunch at Galatoires (think old time blue blood) and this guy is on fire drunk, yelling at the top of his lungs and running around the dining room talking to people he knows. We were there with a heavy hitter who probably dropped $20k a year at the place so the staff wasn't saying a word, but one old man took it upon himself to intervene. The guy was like 80. He walks over to our table and says to the partner, "I just wanted you to know that you have ruined my wife's lunch." The partner picks himself up and gets a solemn look an his face and says. "Sir, I apologize. Let me buy you and your wife a drink." "No thank you. You, sir, are an rear end in a top hat." Not missing a beat: "Then I'm in good company, because you're a dick and your wife's a oval office." We were banned for a month for that one. A WHOLE MONTH Phil Moscowitz fucked around with this message at 22:34 on Dec 17, 2010 |
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Dec 17, 2010 22:14
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Phil Moscowitz posted:
You better have won that challenge! quote:Another time we were having lunch at Galatoires (think old time blue blood) and this guy is on fire drunk, yelling at the top of his lungs and running around the dining room talking to people he knows. We were there with a heavy hitter who probably dropped $20k a year at the place so the staff wasn't saying a word, but one old man took it upon himself to intervene. I am laughing so hard right now. Lawyer & Law School Megathread 13: Phil with it.
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Dec 17, 2010 22:21
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entris posted:You better have won that challenge! I won the first one but was told I spilled some and so we had to do it again. The other guy won that time and so I took my place at the bottom of the letterhead in shame.
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Dec 17, 2010 22:30
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ah memories   
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Dec 17, 2010 23:08
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Today in Manhattan Criminal court we saw New York County's finest do battle with the public defender service to convict a fifty-five year old crack addict on a buy bust. Both sides continually used phrases like, "When defendant sold you the crack (sustained)" and "When Mr. Thomas arranged for UC 0914 to buy crack (sustained)" and "When you look at your notes, you remember full details about the day in question (sustained)." All in all, it was a complete waste of a jury, of three lawyers, a judge, four court officers, and a clerk. When I grow up and be a prosecutor (if that's where I end up), I swear I'm just going to ACD these stupid arrests.
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Dec 17, 2010 23:14
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also hahahaha wtf http://www.bus.miami.edu/graduate-programs/one-year-mba/jd-llm-mba/index.htmlquote:Miami Law and the School of Business has created a new offering: the possibility of obtaining three degrees-a JD, and LLM in Tax or Real Property Development, and an MBA-in only four years and 2 summers.
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Dec 17, 2010 23:22
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They should get their proofreader a couple more degrees
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Dec 17, 2010 23:26
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My brother works at Kaplan, and their "university" makes degrees like a factory. They decided a certain singer/songwriter appealed to their demographic, so they awarded him a degree in creative writing and paid him a bunch of money to promote how the degree helped him become a great success 
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Dec 17, 2010 23:31
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Bahn mi chat Grilled pork. Mmmmmm.
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Dec 17, 2010 23:58
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Phil Moscowitz posted:One time around Halloween someone told him a female paralegal was wearing a cat mask and so he yells from his desk, "[paralegal], come in here so I can see your costume. And you better be on all fours like a good little pussy." i don't mean to be Brigadier General Gender Equality up in this thread or anything but this sounds like this would be mega uncomfortable for everyone else in the office
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Dec 18, 2010 00:34
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Just So You Nerds Know, it looks like the PMF website has been completely overhauled and the new one is located here. What's more, the PMF Program Officequote:now estimates that the notice of results for all nominees in the PMF Class of 2011 on whether or not selected as semi-finalists are projected to be sent via email the week of December 20-24, 2010. Once the official list of semi-finalists is ready, a copy will be posted to the PMF website. Thank you! My understanding from reading random blog posts I found on some blog somewhere is that last year they sent out a number of false positive emails to finalists so my advice would be to wait until the official list is posted before you get excited about any email you receive for OPM, provided you are even biologically capable of becoming excited this far along in your graduate studies. prussian advisor fucked around with this message at 00:43 on Dec 18, 2010 |
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Dec 18, 2010 00:40
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nm posted:Bahn mi chat Oh jesus. I loving love bahn mi. The bread is like crack. Some places now are selling them with chinese bbq pork inside and somehow it gets even better. But the best I've ever had cost me a nickel, was a small loaf with a chopped snout in it and some cucumber that cost the equivalent of a buck. And I got ripped off. Fucke.
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Dec 18, 2010 00:57
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builds character posted:What's the best way to set up a college fund? If I buy an index stock and put it into a trust in the name of not-atlas-of-bugs-in-20-years and they're entitled to the trust estate on enrollment in not-school-in-new-orleans will the tax base be the initial amount I put the stock in at? I vaguely recall there being some trick here but don't remember what it is. I have to admit we don't do a lot of college planning. I know of one client who set up 529 plans for some of his grandkids, but then there was a big issue we had to research about whether under the terms of the trust, the beneficiaries were entitled to X amount that was put in the fund, or X amount distributed out - as some of the 529 plans had lost a ton of money in the market crash. People in our group are actually pretty divided about the best way to save for college - some like 529s and some don't. builds character posted:Which firms are good at T&E law and how much lateral movement is there among those practices? What are your exit opportunities? In terms of national presence, Chambers and Partners has a pretty accurate list of the top firms and practitioners: http://www.chambersandpartners.com/USA/Editorial/37128 These are the firms that dynastic families and other incredibly rich folks will use, but I'm sure most of them do lower end planning as well. Also, there are firms with good regional reputations. Here in LA, in addition to those on the list I would say off the top of my head, Mitchell Silberberg, Hoffman Saban, Oldman Cooley, Venable, the Weinstock firm, and probably others. builds character posted:Which firms are good at T&E law and how much lateral movement is there among those practices? What are your exit opportunities? Once you have worked in T&E for a while it is very easy to move around. I think around 3-5 years is ideal to lateral. I have been getting at least 1-2 recruiter calls a day for the last few months. In terms of exit opportunities, there are a lot but they are not necessarily lucrative. The best would be working for a wealthy client's family office or as their private attorney or trustee. Otherwise you can work for a Private Bank department of a large bank or a smaller wealth management firm, or as some sort of legal advisor or risk management officer for various trust companies or banks. builds character posted:Do you typically establish statutory trusts or common law trusts? In Ca. or in Delaware? I believe they are all common law trusts - when I think of statutory trust I think of something like a Massachusetts business trust. We do primarily CA trusts, but occasionally draft irrevocable DE trusts when the client is willing to pay for the Delaware Trustee. Delaware trusts have a few advantages in that they can last forever and if they are drafted in a certain way and you don't have CA trustees or CA source income, the retained income isn't subject to CA tax. builds character posted:What do institutional trustees typically charge? It depends on what you want them to do. For a directed Delaware Trustee who won't have to do much but make distributions when you tell it to, you can get one for like $3500 per year. If you want a full service trustee - like if you name JP Morgan as trustee of the trust for your no-good grandson, they will charge a lot. Usually something like 1% of assets - with that percentage getting smaller if you put in a lot of money - say $30 million or so. They also charge a ton of additional fees, like for administering your estate or trust right when you die, or managing real estate or LLC assets, or for investing your stocks, or selling or buying assets - it comes out to a about 1-1.5% of assets per year typically, but if you have a lot of money you can negotiate.
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Dec 18, 2010 01:24
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Feces Starship posted:i don't mean to be Brigadier General Gender Equality up in this thread or anything but this sounds like this would be mega uncomfortable for everyone else in the office No doubt. It made me uncomfortable enough to tell him not to say poo poo like that. I had to explain that he would get sued for sexual harassment before he agreed with me though. This guy was asked to leave the firm so while these are entertaining stories don't think that you can act like this consistently and keep a good reputation.
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Dec 18, 2010 01:39
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CaptainScraps posted:Oh jesus. I loving love bahn mi. The bread is like crack. It's banh mi you loving heathen.
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Dec 18, 2010 01:43
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Phil Moscowitz posted:No doubt. It made me uncomfortable enough to tell him not to say poo poo like that. I had to explain that he would get sued for sexual harassment before he agreed with me though. You must have better looking support staff than I do because I can safely say that there's not a single female in my office that I would ever want to see in a cat suit, much less on all fours.
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Dec 18, 2010 01:47
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yadayadayada posted:It's banh mi you loving heathen. 
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Dec 18, 2010 02:07
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Four Finger Wu posted:I have to admit we don't do a lot of college planning. I know of one client who set up 529 plans for some of his grandkids, but then there was a big issue we had to research about whether under the terms of the trust, the beneficiaries were entitled to X amount that was put in the fund, or X amount distributed out - as some of the 529 plans had lost a ton of money in the market crash. People in our group are actually pretty divided about the best way to save for college - some like 529s and some don't. The best way to save for college might be to not, depending on how much you make and where you plan to send your kids. Unless you can pay the whole way out of pocket when they're that age you might as well just bank on whatever financial aid they get and then IBR the rest of the way.
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Dec 18, 2010 02:11
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Recap of my week: Boss had his hand on my rear end the entire Christmas Party, told me to drink more and not to worry if I got pulled over because he'd represent me for free. Then yesterday I basically got goatse'd by the DA's office. Protip: usually, not ALWAYS are discovery photos required to be ordered on disc media. Sometimes they like to slip full color glossies of dead 16 year olds right into your email. gently caress this gay earth.
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Dec 18, 2010 02:39
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Save me jeebus posted:Recap of my week: Boss had his hand on my rear end the entire Christmas Party, told me to drink more and not to worry if I got pulled over because he'd represent me for free. Well the solution here's pretty obvious, you should move to GamingHyena's firm. Edit: I meant the solution for GamingHyena's problem
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Dec 18, 2010 02:49
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yadayadayada posted:It's banh mi you loving heathen. In my defense, I fat fingered it in my post. Cost $2.75
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Dec 18, 2010 02:59
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Save me jeebus posted:Recap of my week: Boss had his hand on my rear end the entire Christmas Party, told me to drink more and not to worry if I got pulled over because he'd represent me for free. Then yesterday I basically got goatse'd by the DA's office. Protip: usually, not ALWAYS are discovery photos required to be ordered on disc media. Sometimes they like to slip full color glossies of dead 16 year olds right into your email. Are you hot? you sound hot.
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Dec 18, 2010 03:05
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billion dollar bitch posted:Are you hot? you sound hot. I'm reasonably attractive but I need to lose some lingering 1L, 5 hours a day commuting weight. Although I'm not as ugly or repressed as his last assistant, so he may have been testing the limits. Predecessor is a 30-something 300# Mormon virgin, so it's not like I have a lot to live up to. Also in her motions she was still sending stuff out on captions listing partners that left 10 years ago (also one is now a client for DUI, along with his son), and spelling "signed" as "singed." So I guess Judges here light their orders on fire or something. Right up there with the "please agreement" I saw. Oh Christmas Party story time, speaking of my boss: He regaled the entire office and their various spouses of his escapades over Thanksgiving, wherein an on/off girlfriend of his (an ADA) showed up at his house drunk and horny. He took what he thought was a Viagra, turned out to be a sleeping pill (whatever else is blue, Ambien maybe?) The whole room went pretty much silent. Sometimes my boss is awesome in his inappropriateness. Also later that evening he retired to the hot tub (his house), dragging one of his other longtime partners with him while loudly proclaiming that he was, indeed, still a Man's Man. Also tried to drag myself and the only female atty in the office along with. Party pretty much broke up after that.
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Dec 18, 2010 03:27
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I love when a girl reveals herself to the thread
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Dec 18, 2010 03:30
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http://biglegalbrain.com Is this one of you? It's brilliant.
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Dec 18, 2010 03:34
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phil with it My boss is a NOLA native, so he makes me think of you Phil. And Atlas too of course. Maybe if I let him keep touching my rear end he'll take me to Mardi Gras.
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Dec 18, 2010 03:35
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Amazing Tales of a Patent Examiner: I went to the gym at 3 while my loving lazy dogs slept on my bed.
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Dec 18, 2010 03:35
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Baruch Obamawitz posted:Amazing Tales of a Patent Examiner: Amazing Tales of a Patent Prosecutor: I only go to the gym once a week now. Not having free time sucks.
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Dec 18, 2010 04:25
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Anyone know how to download a database in westlaw? I'm trying to download Bankruptcy Law and Practice 3d by Norton but it seems to want to make me go section by section rather than the whole thing?
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Dec 18, 2010 05:07
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Ersatz posted:Amazing Tales of a Patent Prosecutor: I'm having second thoughts about interviewing. I'm in the gym five days a week right now, and I have to keep it up for spring rugby starting in February.
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Dec 18, 2010 05:29
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Ersatz posted:Amazing Tales of a Patent Prosecutor: I'm a patent prosecutor, too, but I have tons of free time. Granted, I've switched over to a smaller boutique firm. But I haven't been to the gym so often in quite some time. Sometimes I'll just leave work at 3:30 or 4:00 and just head over to the gym. This must be the patent examiner life. mongeese fucked around with this message at 07:07 on Dec 18, 2010 |
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Dec 18, 2010 07:04
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Phil Moscowitz posted:I love when a girl reveals herself to the thread
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Dec 18, 2010 08:15
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Feces Starship posted:lawnet consulted. holland oats identified. Oh goddammit, I should have thought of that. Now all of CLS will know about my love of MMA and Pokemon.
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Dec 18, 2010 09:32
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Soothing Vapors posted:*breathes heavily* I tee em up, you hit em out, kid
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Dec 18, 2010 15:20
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Save me jeebus posted:Also in her motions she was still sending stuff out on captions listing partners that left 10 years ago (also one is now a client for DUI, along with his son), and spelling "signed" as "singed." So I guess Judges here light their orders on fire or something. Right up there with the "please agreement" I saw. Before I give my judge his copies of motions, I always make sure to highlight those items. I think they amuse him, but he's too nice to call out the attorneys on them. Although once we did get a brief on a motion for reconsideration (which I assume was copy pasta that the associate who drafted it didn't scan carefully enough) in which Plaintiff's attorney repeatedly referred to her client as Defendant and even signed herself "Counsel for Defendant." She didn't respond to a call offering her the chance to rectify it before Judge got his copy, so when the order went out, I dropped a footnote highlighting her inability to determine who she was representing. Do senior partners read orders like that? Would there likely be a chewing-out to follow? I like to think so.
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Dec 18, 2010 15:34
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