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Sundae posted:I am amazed at how well the ring came out. The quality of the top gem emeralds really shines through even in petite sizes.
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Dec 29, 2010 00:10
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Duckman2008 posted:My big worry is i really want to have a good number of our friends there, and that would probably end up being the biggest expense (feeding them and whatnot). Do a potluck 
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Dec 29, 2010 20:16
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I finally get to post in this thread too! I got engaged on the 14th, and i am already in full planning mode. I have to do as much as possible before school starts back on the 9th. We are planning on getting married March of 2012. I have the place picked out (hope we get the date I want),event planner hired, my dress picked out, budget set, mom is doing the cake (she has done this as a hobby for a few years now), colors picked, half of a wedding planning book filled out pretty much. The issue I am running into is our guest list. We have so many friends with children and if they all bring their kids we are at a list of 100+ people, which I don't mind. But if they don't we are at a 75 or below, which makes a huge difference in the catering cost. Is there a polite way to ask if they will be finding a baby sitter or bringing them? I don't plan on booking my caterer till summer so I have a little while to ask. I'm also hoping that the ones with bratty kids do get a sitter, but I know there is no real way to say "your kids are bastards leave them at home". Anyone else have experience with this?
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Dec 29, 2010 21:41
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We simply said "please no guests under 19 years of age" (legal drinking age) for our wedding and everyone obliged with the exception of one couple when their babysitter bailed last second (the mother was our emcee). But her kids were so cute they stole the show and totally well behaved. I didn't even notice them until after the ceremony.
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Dec 29, 2010 22:30
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I'm officially engaged! Click here for the full 720x540 image. We've been planning on getting married in June for convenience, but due to finances, I didn't think I'd be getting this ring for another few years. It's a very pale blue sapphire, with ten tiny white sapphires. It's exactly what I wanted.  Anyway, we're just doing a little courthouse thing in June, but we'll be having a bigger wedding in a few years, after he gets back from his first deployment and we can afford it. First thing's first. We're getting engagement pictures taken next month, and we're thinking about doing some sort of announcement with them. Since we're only inviting the very closest people to us (about 20 people) what would be the proper way to do this? I feel like usually, that sort of thing comes with a save the date, but we won't have en exact one for our big wedding for a while still. I don't want to come off like I'm saying "Here is who I am marrying AND YOU'RE NOT INVITED". Even if it isn't taken that way, I'd feel a little odd sending out announcements when a wedding that everyone is invited to is still a few years away. Help me, Goons!
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Dec 29, 2010 23:11
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Joellypie posted:The issue I am running into is our guest list. We have so many friends with children and if they all bring their kids we are at a list of 100+ people, which I don't mind. But if they don't we are at a 75 or below, which makes a huge difference in the catering cost. Is there a polite way to ask if they will be finding a baby sitter or bringing them? I don't plan on booking my caterer till summer so I have a little while to ask. I'm also hoping that the ones with bratty kids do get a sitter, but I know there is no real way to say "your kids are bastards leave them at home". Anyone else have experience with this? A lot of caterers will offer you a discount on child plates, so make sure to ask about that when looking for a caterer and you may be able to find a nice compromise on kids/money.
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Dec 30, 2010 01:27
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Do any of you guys have recommendations for engagement rings that are a little more ornate...my gf likes a sort of edwardian / victorian style ring..less stone more metal work. I'm in the UK and wondered if you guys knew of good places to look.
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Dec 30, 2010 16:14
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ChloroformSeduction posted:This is an awesome ring. Out of curiosity, what do you mean by finding out where the emeralds come from? Was there a specific type you wanted, or was there some sort of meaning in the geographic locale? I meant geographic location. I wanted to know whether the stones were natural or man-made, and if natural, their country of origin. There are certain countries I am not keen on ordering gemstones from.
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Dec 30, 2010 19:26
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Nuntius posted:Do any of you guys have recommendations for engagement rings that are a little more ornate...my gf likes a sort of edwardian / victorian style ring..less stone more metal work. I'm in the UK and wondered if you guys knew of good places to look. I liked a lot of the antique style rings at http://www.topazery.com/ and http://marleneharriscol.com/ although I did not end up buying from either place.
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Jan 1, 2011 22:36
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Gonna try again... is it weird to send out some sort of engagement announcement that isn't a save the date? We're having something very small in June, but I still want to send around a picture of the two of us to my more distant relatives. We're planning on having a larger wedding in a few years where everyone will be invited. Should something like that be mentioned on such an announcement? Better yet, is there any sort of resource for the etiquette on a small wedding followed by a later big wedding thing? I'm feeling pretty lost. uberwekkness fucked around with this message at 07:42 on Jan 4, 2011 |
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Jan 4, 2011 07:37
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Well, time for me to start lurking this thread for a while. I was proposed to on New Year's Eve, and we've both agreed to a long engagement for various reasons. Still haven't told either of our families yet, if only so we don't give anyone a literal heart attack with "Yeah, we were separated for six months, but now we're engaged!  "
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Jan 4, 2011 16:51
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taiyoko posted:Well, time for me to start lurking this thread for a while. Congrats! uberwekkness posted:Gonna try again... is it weird to send out some sort of engagement announcement that isn't a save the date? We're having something very small in June, but I still want to send around a picture of the two of us to my more distant relatives. We're planning on having a larger wedding in a few years where everyone will be invited. Should something like that be mentioned on such an announcement? Some people send marriage announcements a day or two after you're already married. That might work best for you guys. I really like the idea of the engagement announcements, and if your family is pretty non-traditional, then go for it. If I sent them to my family though, they'd all assume it's an invitation.
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Jan 4, 2011 17:09
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uberwekkness posted:Gonna try again... is it weird to send out some sort of engagement announcement that isn't a save the date? We're having something very small in June, but I still want to send around a picture of the two of us to my more distant relatives. We're planning on having a larger wedding in a few years where everyone will be invited. Should something like that be mentioned on such an announcement? We did this and we sent out a wedding announcement after the wedding with a wallet sized picture of us at the ceremony for all of the relatives who didn't come. We felt like sending it out after felt more appropriate and less rubbing it in peoples faces that they weren't going to be invited. The other thing I struggled with was the wording of the later party invitations. I will have to dig them out but I had a hard time finding wording that I felt implied it was not a wedding. If you want to have a second wedding that's fine. My second thing was more of a relaxed get together/BBQ and there was no second ceremony. For some reason, it was SO hard to say that in invitation form.
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Jan 4, 2011 17:10
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uberwekkness posted:Gonna try again... is it weird to send out some sort of engagement announcement that isn't a save the date? We're having something very small in June, but I still want to send around a picture of the two of us to my more distant relatives. We're planning on having a larger wedding in a few years where everyone will be invited. Should something like that be mentioned on such an announcement? The sending it out after thing that some have suggested seems like the best choice. When I read your post what strikes me as possibly problematic is that some people may react to it as a "Wedding Announcement But You're Not Invited but we still want gifts tia." Obviously that is not what you're going for; I try to interpret situations as the cattiest relatives might just in case I'd say send it out after with a short explanation of your plans. You have a really good reason for what you want to do, as you said in your previous post ("Anyway, we're just doing a little courthouse thing in June, but we'll be having a bigger wedding in a few years, after he gets back from his first deployment and we can afford it."). People should be understanding about that, so long as they know that that's what's up.
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Jan 4, 2011 17:14
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Hooray for engagement, now to enjoy the planning process while we work toward a mid Octob... *Local catholic church demands 1.5 years advance notice* *Every nice venue within 200 miles already booked out for the entire autumn season* *Mother-in-law suggesting we rent $6000 castle for a week when our budget is $5,000 total* *Relatives demanding lots of impossibly expensive things while simultaneously offering no money toward anything* *Fiancee's boss threatening to fire her for getting engaged* *In-laws wondering why we're taking so long making decisions when we've only been engaged since a bit before Christmas*  Holy moley. I've been engaged for about ten days and it's like everyone on earth except for the two of us has simultaneously gone bat-poo poo insane. It's downright incredible. We basically shrugged and said, "well, I suppose 2012 is okay too if we can't find any place that can do it affordably in 2011" and the sky opened up and rained down flaming pigs or something. OH GOD NO YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT IN 2011, WE DEMAND IT IN SPITE OF NOT PAYING A DIME OF IT! Sundae fucked around with this message at 18:44 on Jan 4, 2011 |
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Jan 4, 2011 18:41
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Well, I got myself good and engaged over the holidays, so now it's time to shift into wedding planning mode. We're trying to set up a budget, but I'm clueless as to where to even start. My fiance is a schoolteacher so we're limited to a summer wedding as she won't be able to take time off during the school year, so we're stuck in prime wedding season. We're currently aiming for July 2012, and initially took a stab in the dark and said we'd set our budget at $15,000 - though once we started doing a little bit of research, we found that many reception halls (Chicago suburb area) alone are going to be at least $15,000-$20,000. Have I severely underestimated the cost of a wedding these days? What's the average amount people pay for weddings? Is there a good wedding cost per household income standard to aim for? (similar to the whole two months pay for the engagement ring metric?).
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Jan 4, 2011 18:44
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Meefy - weddings can be STUPIDLY expensive. My mother's wedding was $15,000 almost thirty years ago, and there are places all around where I live right now where the food and drink minimums are $20-30K. If I go one state over, $50K minimums start appearing. You can still do it cheaper than $15K, guaranteed, but it's going to take a lot of planning and probably a bit of luck on nobody else beating you to great locations. (My budget is $5K, begrudgingly expanding to $7.5K, and with an absolute cut-off 'not a cent more' at $10K. It's tough.) You can also 100% do it cheaper with 'meh' locations, but those don't count because they suck. ChloroformSeduction posted:I was wanted some emeralds in it, but I guess they're quite soft and aren't much for longevity, so went with a sapphire and a ruby. Yours look like they're set in deep enough that they should be protected from most wear, I would think. Sorry, I missed this somehow in your earlier post! The stones are deep enough that they don't make contact if it hits anything, and for a lot of times, the gold itself won't even make contact. If you lay the ring on its side (wheel-style) on a table, the wooden rims are actually just slightly higher than the gold, and they'll make contact instead. Truthfully, that part was pure luck, but the end result is that the stones are remarkably well-protected. They're so beautiful, also. I was worried that their deep settings would prevent light from really letting them show off, but it works great. The ring glitters in the light amazingly well, and the stones practically glow. I could not be happier with how that design worked out! The ring is going to have to be taken on and off a lot due to her field of work, anyway, so our next step, jewelry-wise, is getting chains for both of our rings so that they can go around our necks. She works in illustration and does a lot of painting (aka paint on rings), and I work with some heavy machinery and have a "no exposed jewelry" rule at work. If anyone else has a taste for wood jewelry, the ring-maker for it was Gustav Reyes. He runs a company in Chicago called "Simply Wood Rings", and they were pretty fantastic to work with. Sundae fucked around with this message at 18:58 on Jan 4, 2011 |
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Jan 4, 2011 18:46
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I also just recently got engaged and am in the process of starting to get the ball rolling with wedding planning with the fiance. Does anyone have any general tips for saving money? It's looking more and more that we'll be paying for most of the wedding and reception ourselves, and I'm not looking to overspend, if that's even possible. So far we're looking at places (not churches) that we can have both the wedding and reception at.
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Jan 4, 2011 18:51
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Wedding showers. My mom is going to throw one in my hometown, about an hour away from where my wedding is and where I'm currently going to school. I'd love to invite some of my classmates but I am going to have the shower during our spring break when a lot of other students will be out of town. Should I just wait and maybe let my friends throw the shower in my school town and just invite hometown friends and family? I don't want to break some etiquette rule. Just hit me that the wedding is 7 months away. Gotta step up the planning.
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Jan 4, 2011 18:52
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Can anyone recommend a venue for a reception in the Northern Virginia/DC area? Looking for around 300 people, budget is up in the air. Timeframe would be in the Dec 2011/Jan 2012 area so outdoors is a no go. Good luck to all those in here with thier planning.
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Jan 4, 2011 19:02
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WaffleStomp posted:I also just recently got engaged and am in the process of starting to get the ball rolling with wedding planning with the fiance. Does anyone have any general tips for saving money? It's looking more and more that we'll be paying for most of the wedding and reception ourselves, and I'm not looking to overspend, if that's even possible. So far we're looking at places (not churches) that we can have both the wedding and reception at. We are paying for our wedding ourselves as well, and so far I've done pretty well at staying in my $5k budget. If there are any local parks, look there. They are usually free but book up incredibly fast. Start asking your friends for referrals. I have found that a friend of a friend of a friend does catering, Djing, pictures, hair, ect. They have all pretty much agreed to cut me a fair price because I know their friend, or they aren't a full on business yet and just need the experience. I'm doing all my centerpieces and flowers my self (with the help of my mom). I guess you would have to be somewhat crafty to do this. Oriental Trading is where I am getting most of my stuff, almost all of it is sold in bulk. Also, go to bridal shows in your area, and sign up for all the drawings. My friend won a free photog package for her wedding day, a hotel for the night of the wedding, half off her caterer, and a few other things. I am going to my first one this coming weekend, so keep your fingers crossed for me!
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Jan 4, 2011 19:50
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Meefy Bread posted:Have I severely underestimated the cost of a wedding these days? What's the average amount people pay for weddings? Congratulations! You can spend as much or as little as you want. Like Sundae said, it's just a lot harder to get things done at a reasonable price. We were absolutely stunned when we started asking around and were getting $6,000 venue quotes, $4,000 photo quotes and $8,000 catering quotes. Those weren't even from really outstanding vendors; we thought they were pretty average as far as their offerings. Talk to friends and family and see what corners you can cut. We're going to end up doing pretty much exactly what we want for about $5,000 thanks to friends and family who are doing things for us for cheap/free. WaffleStomp posted:Does anyone have any general tips for saving money? Number one is get as much help from friends and family as you can. We're saving a ton because photography, hair/makeup, and music are all being done by friends. A few other things that may be helpful: Venues: Nth-ing the park idea, and do it now. They do book really far in advance and we weren't able to get one ten months ahead of time. We're doing ours at a place we found on the local historic site registry. It's not as cheap as parks, but it's a lot better than other private venues we looked at. Photography: Get a friend or a student if you can. Pro photographers are obscenely expensive, and if you're like us and don't want a bunch of posed studio photos, there's really not much difference between a pro and a good amateur. If you are getting a pro, ask them to take albums out of the quote. One photographer lowered our quote by almost $1,000 when we asked her to take out the album. You can make comparable albums yourself for much, much less. Dress: If having a new designer dress isn't something you/your fiance cares about, you can save a good bit by either buying a dress that's not specifically a "wedding" dress, or by buying secondhand. This is a really good website for secondhand dresses: http://www.oncewed.com/used-wedding-dresses/ Good luck!!
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Jan 4, 2011 20:58
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Meefy Bread posted:Well, I got myself good and engaged over the holidays, so now it's time to shift into wedding planning mode. If you don't need to be really close to the city, we did a Geneva, IL wedding for ~$10,000 (~80 people) at a reception hall right on the Fox. We did it in June, but saved money by having it on a Sunday. It was beautiful (we were able to buy the minimum in flowers/other decorations) and I would really recommend Geneva as a great little town. Edit: [quote="hennypenny"] Photography: Get a friend or a student if you can. Pro photographers are obscenely expensive, and if you're like us and don't want a bunch of posed studio photos, there's really not much difference between a pro and a good amateur. If you are getting a pro, ask them to take albums out of the quote. One photographer lowered our quote by almost $1,000 when we asked her to take out the album. You can make comparable albums yourself for much, much less. [\quote] I completely disagree with this unless you don't care about the photography at all. Every person I know that had a friend or relative do their photography has been really disappointed and there are a lot of pros who do a lot more than posed shots. Amateurs don't tend to have the equipment to handle a wedding (I know, I'm one of them), which usually involves a lot of low-light and motion situations. Photographers are expensive, yes, and even the pros often suck, but it's worth it to shop around until you find a good balance between quality and affordablity. But yes, definitely have them not make you an album and you can save money on photographers (and pretty much everything else) if you do it off season or on an off-day. Also, find one who will give you a dvd with right to print afterward, so you can make your own album and not have to order prints. The Dorkroom has a wedding photography thread if you need help deciding if particular photographers are worth the money. Kiri koli fucked around with this message at 21:13 on Jan 4, 2011 |
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Jan 4, 2011 21:03
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I'm loving this influx of newly engaged couples after the holidays I got engaged on New Year Eve 2009 and our wedding is in 11 days, so we're nearing the end of our year-long engagement. It's amazing how quickly the time passes. To contribute - As far as saving money, we saved a lot by using friends and family, much like others are saying. My brother works at a print shop so he designed and printed our Save-The-Dates and invitations. A friend of ours is DJing the wedding, another friend will be the emcee. Another relative is doing the programs for us. You get the picture. Use any and all connections that you may have! I can't really believe we only have 11 days. We got our marriage license yesterday. I feel like I still have 8943000 things to do yet every night I get so overwhelmed that I do nothing and browse the internet instead. My bridal shower is this Saturday and I'm terrified nobody will show up. Weddings are stressful 
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Jan 4, 2011 21:17
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We had our wedding/reception in a city-owned venue in Chicago, and it was awesome for saving money. I'd stay away from private places that have required lists of caterers, there's usually not much room for negotiation on price with those guys. Instead of starting our search with "wedding caterers" for food, we picked one of our favorite restaurants and set up a catering menu with them. WAY less expensive, and more unique than the chicken breast/weird lasagna that a lot of caterers default to. It was still the most expensive part of the wedding, with the venue coming in 2nd. Third tip: we supplied our own alcohol, and hired a bartender with a valid license to serve liquor. It was around 1/3 as expensive as a per-head full bar. Bonus: at the end of the reception those who are crazy drunkards can take the remaining bottles with them for the afterparty! Totally my personal opinion here, but in your quest to save money, don't be the rear end in a top hat that has the Thursday night or Sunday afternoon reception. Especially if you have people driving in.
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Jan 4, 2011 21:17
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CalamityKate posted:Totally my personal opinion here, but in your quest to save money, don't be the rear end in a top hat that has the Thursday night or Sunday afternoon reception. Especially if you have people driving in. I so totally wish I could do that, though. It's the difference between the park I want being "$2500 and unavailable until October 2013" and "$600, pick your day no problem." (But yeah, I kind of want guests to show up. Otherwise, I could skip the entire thing!)
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Jan 4, 2011 21:22
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As far as saving money goes, sometimes you can get really amazing package deals, where you get the venue and a lot of the other parts included, such as the catering, cake, flowers, decorations, reception, DJ, photographer, etc. Our entire wedding for 120 people was around $6,000. That includes all of what I mentioned above. The only things we bought outside of that was the clothing/my dress, the alcohol for the bar (bartender and sodas, water, tea, coffee, were included) and the officiant.
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Jan 4, 2011 21:26
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CalamityKate posted:Totally my personal opinion here, but in your quest to save money, don't be the rear end in a top hat that has the Thursday night or Sunday afternoon reception. Especially if you have people driving in. As a counterpoint opinion, we had a Sunday wedding and everyone I expected to show up did and had a great time. It was the only way we could have afforded what we did and if someone begrudges me that they couldn't get loving plastered on my dime because they had to work the next day, I'm pretty sure they're the rear end in a top hat.
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Jan 4, 2011 21:31
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Sundae posted:*Fiancee's boss threatening to fire her for getting engaged* Let's all slow down here. What?
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Jan 4, 2011 22:28
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FISHMANPET posted:Let's all slow down here. What? "Ohhh, you're engaaaaged now? Are you sure you'll be able to cope with the work around here now that you've got your mind on... other things? I need dedicated employees who can keep their focus on the job and not on their home life, you know. I'd hate to need to find new people to train..." She's getting that treatment right now from her boss. It's a thinly-veiled "how dare you do anything that may, at some point, potentially inconvenience my profit-margin" basically. Basically every other sentence from her boss is apparently a snide remark now.
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Jan 4, 2011 22:47
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Sundae posted:"Ohhh, you're engaaaaged now? Are you sure you'll be able to cope with the work around here now that you've got your mind on... other things? I need dedicated employees who can keep their focus on the job and not on their home life, you know. I'd hate to need to find new people to train..." Are you in Illinois? If so, that sounds illegal as gently caress: http://www.unmarriedamerica.org/ms-employment-laws.htm quote:"It is the policy of this State ... to secure for all individuals within Illinois the freedom from discrimination against any individual because of his or her ... marital status ... in connection with employment ...."
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Jan 4, 2011 23:23
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Sundae posted:Holy moley. I've been engaged for about ten days and it's like everyone on earth except for the two of us has simultaneously gone bat-poo poo insane. It's downright incredible. We basically shrugged and said, "well, I suppose 2012 is okay too if we can't find any place that can do it affordably in 2011" and the sky opened up and rained down flaming pigs or something. OH GOD NO YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT IN 2011, WE DEMAND IT IN SPITE OF NOT PAYING A DIME OF IT! I've learned that you just have to ignore what other people request. Everyone has expectations, and I would always take offense to anything anyone suggested that wasn't in the plan ("A BAND?!? Who the gently caress is paying for that, huh?"). I also learned that people tend to shut up once you've made a decision and tell them the deposit is paid on it.
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Jan 4, 2011 23:42
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Even though we're still a loooong while out yet, I've already decided on my dress. I'm going to make this: in a white satin/some color (I'm currently leaning towards red) brocade. Depending if we go steampunk with it or not, I don't have to make the bustle, and the train is also detachable so it won't be a pain in the rear end at the reception. Since I was already working on trying to lose weight before the whole engagement thing, I'm not making it ahead of time, or buying the fabric yet...definitely don't need my mom asking, "So why do you have 7 yards of white bridal satin?" Even though I know nobody in my family will snoop on my computer, I still can't help but be paranoid enough before the official announcement to them to save everything wedding-related to My Documents/Firefox folders named "That Stuff". 
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Jan 4, 2011 23:45
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Aren't girls stereotypically supposed to be planning their dream wedding way before they're ever officially engaged, or even sometimes before they've met the right guy? Just chalk it up to imagining your dream wedding way down the line. And please make the bustle, it looks awesome!
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Jan 4, 2011 23:55
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Sundae posted:
That's not ok, make sure to check your state's employment laws but even still...
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Jan 5, 2011 00:06
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Thanks all for the money saving tips. I think we're going to shoot for a budget between 5-7k and look into having everything at a winery. Luckily, being in the northeast Philadelphia area, we have a nice selection of wineries in the suburbs and over in NJ to select from! Another question, for a 150-200 person wedding, what would you suggest for amount of booze? I was thinking 2 kegs plus whatever the winery would provide.
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Jan 5, 2011 00:19
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Meefy Bread posted:Well, I got myself good and engaged over the holidays, so now it's time to shift into wedding planning mode. The range is gigantic, but doing it in the suburbs should save you quite a bit over the city. If you want to stick a more traditional banquet-ish experience, check out large restaurants. A lot of them do banquets for cheaper than traditional banquet halls. WaffleStomp posted:Another question, for a 150-200 person wedding, what would you suggest for amount of booze? I was thinking 2 kegs plus whatever the winery would provide. gvibes fucked around with this message at 00:40 on Jan 5, 2011 |
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Jan 5, 2011 00:37
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Kiri koli posted:As a counterpoint opinion, we had a Sunday wedding and everyone I expected to show up did and had a great time. It was the only way we could have afforded what we did and if someone begrudges me that they couldn't get loving plastered on my dime because they had to work the next day, I'm pretty sure they're the rear end in a top hat.
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Jan 5, 2011 01:15
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Zaftig posted:I had a dry Sunday morning wedding, partly because the venue was not legally allowed to serve alcohol before noon and our wedding was over at 12:30. Dad-in-law ended up buying drinks for a couple of people lingering around the bar after 12, and we'd gone out for drinks the night before anyway. I don't see why alcohol is a necessary part of a wedding, really, and I drink quite a bit. I don't think it's necessary either. That said, I enjoy alcohol at other people's weddings and that's why we had an open bar. The reception ended at 11pm, people had plenty to drink, there was a convenient hotel nearby if needed, and everyone was given Save the Dates with plenty of time to figure out if they needed to stop drinking early for whatever reason. We also had half of the family that had to drive in three hours and spend the night. We planned ahead and they were able to take Monday off and so it wasn't a big deal. After all, if we'd had a Saturday wedding, they'd had to have come up Friday for the rehearsal dinner anyway and still lost a weekday. We had lots of people not able to make it for a variety of reasons, but it's a Sunday was never one of them. So it's a valid thing to consider and it saved us a LOT of money.
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Jan 5, 2011 02:06
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 Woo! Was going to do the Moissanite route, but found this at a jewelry store that was having a going out of business sale and got it at 50% off! I get giggly every time I look at it. Queen Of Spades fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Jan 5, 2011 |
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Jan 5, 2011 02:09
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