Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

«‹›1550 »

Bro Enlai: Nov 9, 2008

yo taking tim wu's communications law/policy class

watched a bunch of howdy doody and gi joe on the projector, it was tight

# ? Jan 7, 2011 01:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 22:54

billion dollar bitch: Jul 20, 2005; To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.

My girlfriend tells me that tim wu was very unpopular in Stanford because of the creepy vibe he gives off to EVERY FEMALE STUDENT.

In other news, Green Crayons, I was looking at the FDIC and the NRC; they're still open.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 01:46

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

BigHead posted:

For anything good, yes. The good stuff is gone at the end of OCI. Ask your career services for options related to clerking for a judge or DA/PD.

OCI hasn't happened at my school yet? I'm 1L, does that count? I guess that explains a lot. Dammit.

blar posted:

Yep now you have to act like you are excited about public service otherwise you're not going to have any funding this summer.

The federal guy with the penguin avatar is the happiest in the thread. I would be excited to do that.

billion dollar bitch posted:

In other news, Green Crayons, I was looking at the FDIC and the NRC; they're still open.

Awesome, thanks.

mushi posted:

Alternatively: complaint for $74k (no attorney fees, clearly not meeting the requirement) filed in state court and removed to federal court by defendant, who adds in counterclaims for $74k on partially related issues i.e. related to the same contract but alleging additional facts that give rise to their damages.

Does the answer + counterclaim operate as the "face of the complaint" and if so, does that add the values together or can the original plaintiff move to ~~dismiss~~ remand for lack of jurisdiction?

Counterclaims don't count because you have to evaluate the value of the case at the time of filing. That's directly from my outline but I don't have a case to substantiate it -- I believe my professor just threw it out there rather than having us read up on it. So remand away.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 03:23

prussian advisor: Jan 15, 2007; The day you see a camera come into our courtroom, its going to roll over my dead body.

billion dollar bitch posted:

AHAHAHAH I GOT SEC WHOOOOOOOOO

Of course my friend had to be a total buzzkill and ask if summer = job offer later, to which I could only respond, "I hope so," but we'll see!

If the experiences of the people I know at CLS who worked for that same agency 2L year is any indication, the answer is "lol no."

The other agency notorious for telling it's 2L summers to gently caress Right Off when it comes time to apply for permanent employment is the Department of Justice. I don't think a single one of the DOJ SLIP people I've talked to have gotten so much as a second round interview for the DOJ Honors program.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 04:20

billion dollar bitch: Jul 20, 2005; To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.

Ummmmmmm okay now I don't feel so good about it. Thanks.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 05:37

billion dollar bitch: Jul 20, 2005; To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.

I guess it's best to be informed, so thanks non sarcastically.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 05:40

prussian advisor: Jan 15, 2007; The day you see a camera come into our courtroom, its going to roll over my dead body.

If it makes you feel any better, I don't think there's any indication that the SEC actively selects against its 2L summers when making permanent hiring decisions, as opposed to the Justice Department which seems to do precisely that.

Everyone I know who worked 2L summer at DOJ didn't get invited to DC to interview for their Honors program, and conversely, everyone I know who got invited to DC to interview for their Honors program didn't work there over the summer (and only one of them worked at an agency at all.) It's bizarre.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 06:10

billion dollar bitch: Jul 20, 2005; To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.

Okay but if they don't hire people from their summer program, then why even have a summer program? Do they just want free labor?!?!

# ? Jan 7, 2011 06:30

prussian advisor: Jan 15, 2007; The day you see a camera come into our courtroom, its going to roll over my dead body.

billion dollar bitch posted:

Okay but if they don't hire people from their summer program, then why even have a summer program? Do they just want free labor?!?!

Both agencies pay their 2Ls though, probably substantially more than their actual value as employees (if any).

# ? Jan 7, 2011 07:20

billion dollar bitch: Jul 20, 2005; To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.

Actually they don't have a budget right now because gently caress the republicans, so I'm signed on as a volunteer, and I'm currently budgeting on PILF money. If they pay me that'll be great, but I definitely want to work for them.

Why doesn't anyone want me...

This must be what it's like to be the fat girl at a party.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 07:26

prussian advisor: Jan 15, 2007; The day you see a camera come into our courtroom, its going to roll over my dead body.

billion dollar bitch posted:

Why doesn't anyone want me...

Plenty of people want you, you just said you were a PILF

# ? Jan 7, 2011 07:33

Abugadu: Jul 12, 2004; 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

billion dollar bitch posted:

This must be what it's like to be the fat girl at a party.

Nah, fat girls have it good.

So no one makes a move on them, whatever, they go home, eat some ice cream, get some self worth from their cats, watch Eclipse and then masturbate to a Cullen-filled fantasy, and fall snugly asleep.

You, on the other hand, will get to do 3L OCI interviews with firm interviewers that obviously would rather be in line at the DMV, probably graduate without a job, spend the next few months after graduation sending resume after resume in a Sisyphian deluge, never receiving a reply, start looking for something, anything, too proud for the first year to leave the JD off your resume, but slowly realizing that it is a $150k albatross around your neck, dragging you down financially, emotionally, killing your job prospects worse than if you'd walked in the room and farted in the interviewer's face, until you finally pretend law school never even happened, why no Mr. Pearson, for those years, the reason I didn't have anything on there was because I was doing gay porn.

And when he smiles, easing back into his chair, unzipping his fly as you stumble over, you'll feel free, elated, ecstatic as you gobble his manhood, because you finally have a job. A wonderful, middling white-collar job just like you always dreamed. Might not be in law, but well law never felt right anyway.

Me, I'd pick ice cream.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 07:56

billion dollar bitch: Jul 20, 2005; To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.

Well the plan is to get a clerkship 3L year instead of 3L OCI...

Because gently caress 3L OCI. Who does that?

# ? Jan 7, 2011 08:27

JudicialRestraints: Oct 26, 2007; Are you a LAWYER? Because I'll have you know I got GOOD GRADES in LAW SCHOOL last semester. Don't even try to argue THE LAW with me.

billion dollar bitch posted:

Ummmmmmm okay now I don't feel so good about it. Thanks.

Talk to In Absentia. He did SEC in Chicago. I think he's currently in an alcoholic stupor waiting for the offer based on his summer that will never come.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 09:24

The Warszawa: Jun 6, 2005; Look at me. Look at me.

I am the captain now.

Red Bean Juice posted:

yo taking tim wu's communications law/policy class

watched a bunch of howdy doody and gi joe on the projector, it was tight

Haha you have class with one of my good friends.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 10:19

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

So I've come to realize that I hate lawyers.
But I also hate non-lawyers with their ignorance of everything legal from your "rights" to "law school makes millionares."

Don't go to law school, it makes you hate everyone. At least they probably hate you right back.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 11:04

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Abugadu posted:

Nah, fat girls have it good.

So no one makes a move on them, whatever, they go home, eat some ice cream, get some self worth from their cats, watch Eclipse and then masturbate to a Cullen-filled fantasy, and fall snugly asleep.

You, on the other hand, will get to do 3L OCI interviews with firm interviewers that obviously would rather be in line at the DMV, probably graduate without a job, spend the next few months after graduation sending resume after resume in a Sisyphian deluge, never receiving a reply, start looking for something, anything, too proud for the first year to leave the JD off your resume, but slowly realizing that it is a $150k albatross around your neck, dragging you down financially, emotionally, killing your job prospects worse than if you'd walked in the room and farted in the interviewer's face, until you finally pretend law school never even happened, why no Mr. Pearson, for those years, the reason I didn't have anything on there was because I was doing gay porn.

And when he smiles, easing back into his chair, unzipping his fly as you stumble over, you'll feel free, elated, ecstatic as you gobble his manhood, because you finally have a job. A wonderful, middling white-collar job just like you always dreamed. Might not be in law, but well law never felt right anyway.

Me, I'd pick ice cream.

except for the part about the blowjob that actually kind of accurately describes where i'm at right now

# ? Jan 7, 2011 14:04

Petey: Nov 26, 2005; For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

Ainsley McTree posted:

except for the part about the blowjob that actually kind of accurately describes where i'm at right now

well what are you waiting for?

# ? Jan 7, 2011 14:16

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

My bosses are all women

# ? Jan 7, 2011 15:08

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

Ainsley McTree posted:

My bosses are all women

I hear women like sex now too. They had that whole thing in the 60s

# ? Jan 7, 2011 15:35

Petey: Nov 26, 2005; For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

Ainsley McTree posted:

My bosses are all women

you're doing this wrong

# ? Jan 7, 2011 15:40

Defleshed: Nov 18, 2004; F is for... FREEDOM

Ainsley McTree posted:

My bosses are all women

gross!

# ? Jan 7, 2011 15:51

Colorblind Pilot: Dec 29, 2006; Enageg!1

Abugadu posted:

Nah, fat girls have it good.

So no one makes a move on them, whatever, they go home, eat some ice cream, get some self worth from their cats, watch Eclipse and then masturbate to a Cullen-filled fantasy, and fall snugly asleep.

You, on the other hand, will get to do 3L OCI interviews with firm interviewers that obviously would rather be in line at the DMV, probably graduate without a job, spend the next few months after graduation sending resume after resume in a Sisyphian deluge, never receiving a reply, start looking for something, anything, too proud for the first year to leave the JD off your resume, but slowly realizing that it is a $150k albatross around your neck, dragging you down financially, emotionally, killing your job prospects worse than if you'd walked in the room and farted in the interviewer's face, until you finally pretend law school never even happened, why no Mr. Pearson, for those years, the reason I didn't have anything on there was because I was doing gay porn.

And when he smiles, easing back into his chair, unzipping his fly as you stumble over, you'll feel free, elated, ecstatic as you gobble his manhood, because you finally have a job. A wonderful, middling white-collar job just like you always dreamed. Might not be in law, but well law never felt right anyway.

Me, I'd pick ice cream.

Post of the thread right here. Made my god drat morning.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 17:27

G-Mawwwwwww: Jan 31, 2003; My LPth are Hot Garbage; Biscuit Hider

nm posted:

So I've come to realize that I hate lawyers.
But I also hate non-lawyers with their ignorance of everything legal from your "rights" to "law school makes millionares."

Don't go to law school, it makes you hate everyone. At least they probably hate you right back.

I had an information interview with a legal malpractice attorney; the guy who practices in boots. Guy was head of the trial lawyer's association and all that jazz, Superlawyer, all that fun stuff.

Him: :clint:

Me:

(for going to law school)

:clint:

: When I first started out, I tried to be real respectful to the lawyers as I was suing. I figured that if I was professional and courteous, the defendants would be more apt to settle their cases. So after my first legal mal case concluded, I called up the Defendant and asked how he thought I treated him. And you know what he said?

:saddowns:

: That you were professional and courteous but you were still that son of a bitch who was suing him.

:clint:

: Goddamn, you do have some experience with this. You know what I decided then?

:saddowns:

: gently caress 'em.

:clint:

: gently caress 'em.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 18:05

Eric Cantonese: Dec 21, 2004; You should hear my accent.

http://www.businessinsider.com/nathan-sawaya-and-the-journey-from-a-wall-street-lawyer-to-a-lego-master-model-builder-2011-1

Law school gives you options!

billion dollar bitch posted:

My girlfriend tells me that tim wu was very unpopular in Stanford because of the creepy vibe he gives off to EVERY FEMALE STUDENT.

That was a subject of much mirth at U.Va., but as a southern school that's actually pretty conservative, everyone just kind of laughed it off. At a more liberal-minded place like Stanford where students probably take the potential for abuse of authority more seriously, I could see why female students would dislike him.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 19:00

in absentia: Mar 20, 2006

JudicialRestraints posted:

Talk to In Absentia. He did SEC in Chicago. I think he's currently in an alcoholic stupor waiting for the offer based on his summer that will never come.

This is true. My advice is that if you get a job at something other than the SEC that may turn into a real job, you should probably take it. I think the recruiting directors would probably say likewise.

Last I heard about month ago was: "we are waiting for our budget, have no idea when it will get here, and no idea what it'll be when it does." So basically to get an offer I need to pray they have budget room and didn't like any of the other four interns better than me.

It's too bad because I really did love it there, and it was a great way to spend the summer. If nothing else, you have a great 10 weeks ahead of you, I suppose.

So, congratulations. You've nabbed a highly-prestigious, moderately-compensated, intellectually-stimulating 10 week exercise that may get you nowhere but the bottom of a bottle.

I'm more than happy to answer questions about it if you have them. I think my e-mail is in my profile, too.

# ? Jan 7, 2011 20:41

GamingOdor: Jun 8, 2001; The stench of chips.

I thought I was going to have to go sober this weekend since my loan disbursement hasn't come in yet... but then I opened the mail and was greeted with a Wal-Mart MDL class action settlement check. I'll be sure to pour a little Dogfish Head for ol' Sam Walton tonight!

# ? Jan 7, 2011 21:54

billion dollar bitch: Jul 20, 2005; To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.

Well, it's not like I got anything else. And I really want to work for a regulatory agency. I guess I just have to be the best intern I can! I've heard that they hire more from DC than from regional offices; is this true? Your email isn't in your profile, by the way.

On a general note, is it better to take classes before or after a relevant internship? I'm waitlisted on a bunch of poo poo right now...

# ? Jan 7, 2011 22:46

Elotana: Dec 12, 2003; and i'm putting it all on the goddamn expense account

Guys I just inherited my first case

A case I'm intermittently told I shouldn't be billing on because the client is bad at paying

And it has a bunch of poo poo due in the next six weeks including claim construction (most time-consuming step of a patent case)

And the reason I've inherited it in the first place is the only other guy my small firm hired this year just got shitcanned "for business reasons"

Don't go, very insecure jobs, die alone

# ? Jan 8, 2011 00:50

gvibes: Jan 18, 2010; Leading us to the promised land (i.e., one tournament win in five years)

Elotana posted:

Guys I just inherited my first case

A case I'm intermittently told I shouldn't be billing on because the client is bad at paying

And it has a bunch of poo poo due in the next six weeks including claim construction (most time-consuming step of a patent case)

And the reason I've inherited it in the first place is the only other guy my small firm hired this year just got shitcanned "for business reasons"

Don't go, very insecure jobs, die alone

Is your firm actually an IP lit firm?

# ? Jan 8, 2011 01:41

prussian advisor: Jan 15, 2007; The day you see a camera come into our courtroom, its going to roll over my dead body.

Have any other CLS students not received a single grade yet? I don't remember it taking this long in previous semesters.

edit: congrats lilosh

prussian advisor fucked around with this message at 02:06 on Jan 8, 2011

# ? Jan 8, 2011 01:54

Lilosh: Jul 13, 2001; I'm Lilosh with an OSHY

Cornell grades posted today!

Two A, two A-, and the requisite B+ in our LRW class (which pretty much everyone gets a B+ in).

Looking at the cutoffs from the previous years, this should be enough to hit the top 10%. I'm noting this moment, because I imagine this might be the highlight of law school.

# ? Jan 8, 2011 02:03

Elotana: Dec 12, 2003; and i'm putting it all on the goddamn expense account

gvibes posted:

Is your firm actually an IP lit firm?

We do both prosecution and litigation but there's not as much litigation business lately

# ? Jan 8, 2011 03:11

Leif.: Mar 27, 2005; Son of the Defender
Formerly Diplomaticus/SWATJester

Oh god thread. I am now officially a lawyer.

# ? Jan 8, 2011 03:25

atlas of bugs: Aug 19, 2003; BOOTSTRAPPING
MILLIONAIRE
ONE-PERCENTER

Ainsley McTree posted:

My bosses

brag some more

# ? Jan 8, 2011 06:03

billion dollar bitch: Jul 20, 2005; To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.

Congrats!

# ? Jan 8, 2011 06:24

billion dollar bitch: Jul 20, 2005; To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.

In absentia what's your gchat? Your email isn't in your profile.

# ? Jan 8, 2011 06:41

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Petey posted:

you're doing this wrong

YOU CAN'T GIVE BLOWJOBS TO WOMEN

anyway i have a job now - proper full time with health insurance and everything. $41k a year but I don't take my work home with me and it beats the $0k a year I was making as a lawyer so SUCK IT LAW, I'M OUT

didn't need a J.D. for this but whatever I have it now and I'm happy about it

# ? Jan 8, 2011 06:51

billion dollar bitch: Jul 20, 2005; To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.

Everyone is happy! Jobs for everyone!

# ? Jan 8, 2011 07:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 22:54

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

SWATJester posted:

Oh god thread. I am now officially a lawyer.

I became a lawyer, the bar ain't that high.
(Also, we prefer the term attorney)

# ? Jan 8, 2011 07:23

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

«‹›1550 »