Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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Mookie: Mar 22, 2005; I have to return some videotapes.

evilweasel posted:

[ask] me about my strict rule on diamond carat size for my prospective fiance to not get turned down flat!

k=greater of(2+.5(age-28),2)

So in what circumstances is it not greater than 2

And whatever happened to the two months' income rule?

# ? Jan 19, 2011 15:46

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# ? May 15, 2024 15:51

evilweasel: Aug 24, 2002

Mookie posted:

So in what circumstances is it not greater than 2

And whatever happened to the two months' income rule?

Age is less than 28.

# ? Jan 19, 2011 15:47

TheImmigrant: Jan 18, 2011

Have we gotten to IBR for law serfs yet?

Praise Allah for IBR!

# ? Jan 19, 2011 15:56

Roger_Mudd: Jul 18, 2003; Buglord

CaptainScraps posted:

Fun fact: Today I found out through the old boy's network that Texas is probably going through another tort reform and everyone's FREAKING OUT.

Wait, what?

# ? Jan 19, 2011 15:59

Mookie: Mar 22, 2005; I have to return some videotapes.

evilweasel posted:

Age is less than 28.

Oh duh. Was reading that as simply .5 * Age, which seemed insane.

# ? Jan 19, 2011 16:00

Defleshed: Nov 18, 2004; F is for... FREEDOM

Macunaima posted:

Have we gotten to IBR for law serfs yet?

Praise Allah for IBR!

IBR is awesome. Basically if it were not for IBR my entire paycheck would go to student loan payments and I would be broke and unable to provide for my family. Declaring bankruptcy would do nothing as it doesn't free you from your student loans. So yes, IBR loving owns and I praise Odin daily for the fact that PLUS Loans for law students debuted the same year I started law school, effectively allowing me to consolidate my entire law school loan package into one big-rear end loan and pay reasonable payments on it.

# ? Jan 19, 2011 16:20

TheImmigrant: Jan 18, 2011

Defleshed posted:

IBR is awesome. Basically if it were not for IBR my entire paycheck would go to student loan payments and I would be broke and unable to provide for my family. Declaring bankruptcy would do nothing as it doesn't free you from your student loans. So yes, IBR loving owns and I praise Odin daily for the fact that PLUS Loans for law students debuted the same year I started law school, effectively allowing me to consolidate my entire law school loan package into one big-rear end loan and pay reasonable payments on it.

IBR allowed me to move from full-time doc-review serfdom to hanging my shingle. Am debating setting up a 501(c)(3) company so that I can get my principal discharged after 10, rather than 25 years. Not sure if it'll work, but haven't found anything that indicates it wouldn't yet.

# ? Jan 19, 2011 16:25

GamingOdor: Jun 8, 2001; The stench of chips.

Macunaima posted:

IBR allowed me to move from full-time doc-review serfdom to hanging my shingle. Am debating setting up a 501(c)(3) company so that I can get my principal discharged after 10, rather than 25 years. Not sure if it'll work, but haven't found anything that indicates it wouldn't yet.

You have to work full-time at your 501(c)(3) during your 10 years of repayment. Also, you have to remember that the 25 year discharge is counted as taxable income. I believe federal tax liens are just as bad as non-dischargeable student loans.

# ? Jan 19, 2011 17:33

Cortina: Oct 14, 2010

Roger_Mudd posted:

Wait, what?

I think he's talking about the vote that is coming up for the new Disciplinary Rules. The changes to the conflict of interest rules are really confusing, and it's turned into a battle between a lot of highly respected attorneys and the State Bar. The Bar is sending out an email a day campaigning for a yes vote, and the partners at my firm (who are all voting no) are constantly forwarding us emails campaigning against it.

If anyone who is a member of the Texas Bar cares, I can email them the various pro and con emails I've gotten.

Cortina fucked around with this message at 17:42 on Jan 19, 2011

# ? Jan 19, 2011 17:39

TheImmigrant: Jan 18, 2011

blar posted:

You have to work full-time at your 501(c)(3) during your 10 years of repayment. Also, you have to remember that the 25 year discharge is counted as taxable income. I believe federal tax liens are just as bad as non-dischargeable student loans.

Discharged debt is not taxed to the extent it had made you insolvent. So for example, if you had X amount of debt forgiven, but only Y for assets, only Y of the discharged debt is subject to tax.

Form 982 covers this.

Alternatively, the federal tax lien would only be about 25% of the non-dischargeable student loan.

# ? Jan 19, 2011 17:40

Copernic: Sep 16, 2006; ...A Champion, who by mettle of his glowing personal charm alone, saved the universe...

Cortina posted:

I think he's talking about the vote that is coming up for the new Disciplinary Rules. The changes to the conflict of interest rules are really confusing, and it's turned into a battle between a lot of highly respected attorneys and the State Bar. The Bar is sending out an email a day campaigning for a yes vote, and the partners at my firm (who are all voting no) are constantly forwarding us emails campaigning against it.

If anyone who is a member of the Texas Bar cares, I can email them the various pro and con emails I've gotten.

All your toxic tort stuff is heading to Los Angeles these days.

I can't believe there's a six hour deposition cap in Texas. SIX HOURS!

# ? Jan 19, 2011 18:20

Mr Gentleman: Apr 29, 2003; the Educated Villain of London

anyone have a decent crim pro (bail to jail) outline that they can send me? I've got PM

# ? Jan 19, 2011 18:32

Solomon Grundy: Feb 10, 2007; Born on a Monday

antwizzle posted:

I was re-watching that "Don't Talk to Cops" video that gets linked on SA pretty often.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8z7NC5sgik

I didn't notice this the first time I saw the video, and it's actually quite a small part of the entire thing, but at about 4:16 the guy talks about a criminal defense attorney who got charged with felony assault for grabbing another attorney by the throat, presumably in the hall of their firm. Does this sort of poo poo happen often in this profession?? Would he be disbarred for his conviction?

The best lawyers fight on the record:

5 MR. T: Let the record reflect we
6 are making a contemporaneous account of what just
7 occurred.
* * *
22 He said be was going to find me in
23 contempt.
24 I said how can you find me in contempt
25 at which point he came at me, started choking me.
1 Pushed me against the wall. So in defense of
2 myself. I pushed him to the ground. He continued
3 to hit me - attempted to hit me while he was on
4 the ground, and ultimately I held him to the ground
5 till someone came and stopped everything from going
6 any further.
* * *
19 MR. A: l want this on the
20 record.
21 He attacked me. and I was defending
22 myself. This is the second time he has come at me
23 in depositions. We have records from the last time
24 at a deposition in * * * where he threatened to
25 beat me up in front of witnesses * * *
1 in front of the
2 court reporter at other depositions.
3 This one here he was making moves to
4 come at me and I was defending myself. He came at
S me in some kind of karate or judo fashion and
6 started hitting me and had his knee in my chest
7 with his knee. I think I'm somewhat injured here
8 because of his activities. and I want to let you
9 know I was defending myself.
10 I don't know if some of these people
11 saw him come at me. Clearly he was coming at me
12 and from his past tactics I really believe he was
13 going to hurt me, and I was defending myself and
14 that's my position.
15 Mr. W, what did you see?
16 MR. W: I had my head turned-
17 MR. T: This is what I get.
18 MR. W: I was looking for a
19 restroom and turned back around and I saw both of
20 you at each other's throats and then I saw Mr. T
21 * * * throw Mr. A to the ground, and that's all I
22 saw.
23 MR. T: Thank you, Mr. W. You'll
24 sleep well, I'm sure, with that great honesty.
* * *
7 MR. T: And did I ever touch him at
8 all before he touched me?
9 MS. H: No, you did not.
10 MR. T: Were the words how can you
11 find me in contempt said by me?
12 MS. H: I heard someone say
13 mother fucker or something like that I heard that
14 word, and it all happened fast. Next thing I knew
15 you were tussling on the floor.
16 MR. T: You never saw me touch him
17 before he went to my throat?
18 MS. H: No, I did not.
19 MR. T: The mother fucker comment
20 was made by Mr. A to me.

# ? Jan 19, 2011 18:44

Phil Moscowitz: Feb 19, 2007; If blood be the price of admiralty,
Lord God, we ha' paid in full!

Someone tell me what office chair to tell my firm to buy. Up to $1k.

Also a friend sent me this. You should enjoy

quote:

Join Matt Taibbi's Supreme rear end in a top hat Court!

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/blogs/taibblog/help-wanted-a-new-supreme-court-20110114

It's going to take some planning, as well as some participation from readers, but I'm going to be starting a new regular feature on this site.

I want to create a new Supreme Court of Assholedom. Structured much like the actual U.S. Supreme Court, it will employ nine justices, whose job it will be to regularly preside over important cases of national social consequence -- to wit, to decide a) whether or not a certain person is an rear end in a top hat, and b) if he or she is, how much of an rear end in a top hat.

The court will consider cases of all types. They will have titles ranging from things like United States v. Sarah Palin after the Tucson Shooting, to Taibbi v. Fat Guy in the Next Seat Who Monopolized the Whole Armrest on a Flight to Denver, to Humanity v. Anyone Who Has Ever Generated and/or Sent a Spam Message.

The court will focus particularly on establishing case law in those areas where existing laws don't apply. For instance, it's not against the law to be the highly-compensated attorney representing the Gigantic International Megabank that recently foreclosed on an old lady in suburban New Jersey because she entered one number incorrectly on one check for one monthly mortgage payment (there actually is such a case). That's not illegal, but if that's how you make your living -- if you paid for your S-Class Mercedes helping Jamie Dimon and Lloyd Blankfein throw old ladies out of their houses -- I'm pretty sure you're an rear end in a top hat.

But how much of an rear end in a top hat? That's an interesting question, and another one of the court's mandates. My idea is to create a points scale of 1 to 10,000, with one point meaning less of, to not at all of, an rear end in a top hat and ten thousand points of course being a total rear end in a top hat. Here we have a graph showing points A (100 points), B (5,000 points), and C (10,000 points) that will serve as the basic guideline for the court's deliberations:

The points on the graph refer to the following values:

A = The guy in the white Jaguar, New Jersey license plate VJL-34J, who cut me and five other people off on the highway outside the Holland Tunnel yesterday

B = Washington Post columnist George Will

C = Serial Torture Murderer Gary Heidnik

The way I see it, 100 points is like the room temperature of assholedom, a level that most of us hit in surges at least two or three times a week. For instance, I personally hit 200 or more on a routine basis before I even begin any kind of interaction with the poor fact-checkers at Rolling Stone; I've worked at knocking that number down over the years, but it's slow going. The key, however, is that while most normal people strive to get back down to zero by the end of every day, others defiantly and incorrigibly insist on living at dangerously high and sometimes even escalating levels of assholedom.

That will be part of the court's job, to decide the status and the numerical profile of each individual brought for consideration and judgment. Saddam Hussein, for instance, was probably never below 9600 points at any time, on any given day, from 1970 or so through his death; I'd label him a career 9830. Others on the court might disagree, however, so in a case against Saddam, assuming there is a majority vote in favor of assholedom (could there really be five "nay" votes in his case?), what we'd do is average out the numbers submitted by the majority voters. Then one of the majority judges would write a brief opinion, as would one of the dissenting judges, so that the final verdict might look like this:

Pretty Much Everybody, et al., v. Saddam Hussein

Ruling: rear end in a top hat

Pts: 9760

Opinion (Taibbi) Murdered countless people, unironically admired Stalin, displayed nearly unparalleled narcissism and humorlessness, apparently washed infrequently, had horrific taste in architecture, and reflexively engaged in hysterical military posturing and diplomatic crotch-grabbing that led his country into numerous pointless wars, leaving millions dead and reducing much of his nation to rubble (pink rubble, in the case of his former palaces). Made George Bush look good. Ridiculous mustache.

Dissent (?) Built roads and stuff. Let women show their faces and be doctors, etc. Incredibly, close to being a moral improvement over religious dictators in the region.

That's one kind of case. Other cases might establish important lasting societal precedents. For instance, a case such as Reader from Portland, Oregon v. Guy Driving 48 MPH In His SUV Full of Kids on I-84 might have a ruling that reads as follows:

Opinion (Hypothetical Justice #2): If you're driving really slowly on the highway and you accelerate every time someone tries to pass you, you're an rear end in a top hat.

Dissent (none).

That's precedent that could stand forever. And if someone commits one of these offenses, people will be free to access these rulings, print them out, and show them to the offender, saying: "Look, you're wrong and you're an rear end in a top hat, there's even case law on this." My object here is to build an archive of rulings that would provide guidance for whole generations. That, and to find something that helps me hit my contractually mandated word count on this blog more easily.

As to the structure of the court: I'm naming myself Chief Justice for the time being, and will personally nominate the remaining eight judges. I'm going to select some candidates from among my readers, so anyone who is interested in serving on the court should write in. You should include a brief explanation of why you are particularly qualified to serve in this capacity. Special consideration will be given to those who have law degrees and/or have lengthy experience living with or among assholes.

Like any good politician, I am going to strive to make my court "look like America," so women, minorities, gays and lesbians, and people with good drug connections are encouraged to apply. Hot barely legal Finnish girls are also not discouraged.

Most of the court, however, is going to be made up of prominent persons and acquaintances of mine, and while I have a number of people in mind already, I would also like it if readers could send suggestions of people they'd like to see on the court. For instance, I'd have a better shot of convincing a concise legal mind like Eliot Spitzer to take part in this sort of activity if I could show him the widespread popular demand for his service. So don't be shy about writing in with your nominations.

The duties of the judges will not be heavy. Basically, every now and then I'll send each judge an article or a written summary of a case, and all they'll have to do is vote on the issue/person in question -- and, if they feel like it, adding a brief opinion of a few lines explaining their decision. This is going to be pretty half-assed for now, so the quorum for any decision is going to be three, i.e. if I can't get all nine justices to respond to my emails and vote, or even most of them, I'll settle for three. Actually, in a pinch, I'd render the decision all by myself, but I'm hoping it never comes to that.

If this whole thing turns out to be too cumbersome and ridiculous, we'll just drop it and pretend it never happened, letting it die quietly, and I'll go back to blog-whining about New York Times columnists for 800 words or so every few weeks. But if it proves popular enough, my vision is to eventually create an actual infrastructure for this legal body. Most importantly, I want the judges to have really cool outfits, and here's another area where I could use some input from readers; if you have a design idea for the judges' costumes, please send those in as well. My initial thought was an ensemble of robes of flowing yak fur to go with pointy helmets with Alpine Ibex horns. But I'm open to suggestions. In fact, one of the people I have in mind for the court has already forwarded a highly promising template sketch for our judicial garb. There are a great many interesting possibilities here.

It may take a while to set this up, so readers, please be patient. In the meantime, send in your thoughts and your resumes. Mankind cannot live long without law.

# ? Jan 19, 2011 18:45

Roger_Mudd: Jul 18, 2003; Buglord

Cortina posted:

I think he's talking about the vote that is coming up for the new Disciplinary Rules. The changes to the conflict of interest rules are really confusing, and it's turned into a battle between a lot of highly respected attorneys and the State Bar. The Bar is sending out an email a day campaigning for a yes vote, and the partners at my firm (who are all voting no) are constantly forwarding us emails campaigning against it.

If anyone who is a member of the Texas Bar cares, I can email them the various pro and con emails I've gotten.

Ahh, I've been getting those drat e-mails and deleting on sight since I don't get a vote yet

# ? Jan 19, 2011 18:56

GamingOdor: Jun 8, 2001; The stench of chips.

Macunaima posted:

Discharged debt is not taxed to the extent it had made you insolvent. So for example, if you had X amount of debt forgiven, but only Y for assets, only Y of the discharged debt is subject to tax.

Form 982 covers this.

Alternatively, the federal tax lien would only be about 25% of the non-dischargeable student loan.

Thanks for the clarification! Looks like I'll be leasing cars and renting apartments for the next 25 years.

# ? Jan 19, 2011 18:57

TheImmigrant: Jan 18, 2011

Mr Gentleman posted:

anyone have a decent crim pro (bail to jail) outline that they can send me? I've got PM

I have one from 2007. Don't know whether it's decent, but I can send it to you. Send me a PM with contact info to remind me. I'm wrapping up work here to head to Mexico in a few hours, and will be forgetful.

# ? Jan 19, 2011 19:04

Bulky Bartokomous: Nov 3, 2006; In Mypos, only the strong survive.

Anyone have tips or advice for an Army JAG FSO interview?

# ? Jan 19, 2011 19:06

TheImmigrant: Jan 18, 2011

Apologies if this has been posted. Have any of you seen teh Assclown Petition?

# ? Jan 19, 2011 19:07

BigHead: Jul 25, 2003; Huh?; Nap Ghost

Macunaima posted:

Apologies if this has been posted. Have any of you seen teh Assclown Petition?

quote:

The notion that ANYONE would resort to filing bankruptcy over a $6,400 loan is a loving joke.

Poor fella, I can empathize with his frustration.

# ? Jan 19, 2011 20:51

Defleshed: Nov 18, 2004; F is for... FREEDOM

Phil Moscowitz posted:

Someone tell me what office chair to tell my firm to buy. Up to $1k.

Also a friend sent me this. You should enjoy

I wonder if Taibbi will be subjecting himself to the court. He's one of the most loudmouth assholes in print.

Dantu posted:

Anyone have tips or advice for an Army JAG FSO interview?

Don't treat it like a law firm interview. That legal robot poo poo is not really wanted in the Army. He or she does not care about how awesome you were when you burned your professor on a point of law in Torts or how many notes you did for Law Review. They're looking for human beings they would enjoy working with and being around all the time (since you're all around each other all the time). Dress professionally, but be relaxed.

If you have no military experience, don't talk about how you had an uncle in Vietnam that inspired you, FSO's can see through that bullshit a mile away. Focus on your strengths as an attorney and a person, and how you think you can use those to contribute to the mission. It helps to have shown an interest early on in military legal work (e.g. a paper on UCMJ aspects of a legal point for a class or something... I did a poo poo-ton of these) but don't stress if you didn't. Just bring a couple examples of your best work to show. Bring a few copies of your resume of course. Be prepared with a good answer not only "why the military?" but specifically "why the Army?".

Mine was a bit different because as a former military guy it just turned into one big bullshit session with the FSO and he ended up ranking me #1 on his list of people he talked to that semester. But I give you these tips based on what he has told me (he and I have since become e-buddies).

# ? Jan 19, 2011 20:54

Bulky Bartokomous: Nov 3, 2006; In Mypos, only the strong survive.

Defleshed posted:

Solid tips and helpful information.

I'm a former military guy also, so hopefully my experience will be similar to yours. So I should bring more than one writing sample? I've been out of school since May so I set this up on my own at another law school, kind of feel like I'm flying blind. Thanks for the info.

# ? Jan 19, 2011 21:21

Soothing Vapors: Mar 26, 2006; Associate Justice Lena "Kegels" Dunham: An uncool thought to have: 'is that guy walking in the dark behind me a rapist? Never mind, he's Asian.

I love the poo poo out of Taibbi but yeah he would be sentenced to death by his own tribunal

# ? Jan 19, 2011 21:35

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

Phil Moscowitz posted:

Someone tell me what office chair to tell my firm to buy. Up to $1k.

I have an Aeron, it's pretty fantastic. Maybe not tall enough for a partner chair though.

http://www.amazon.com/Aeron-Chair-Herman-Graphite-Classic/dp/B000W6IQK8

# ? Jan 19, 2011 22:06

Direwolf: Aug 16, 2004; Fwar

Defleshed posted:

I wonder if Taibbi will be subjecting himself to the court. He's one of the most loudmouth assholes in print.

Don't treat it like a law firm interview. That legal robot poo poo is not really wanted in the Army. He or she does not care about how awesome you were when you burned your professor on a point of law in Torts or how many notes you did for Law Review. They're looking for human beings they would enjoy working with and being around all the time (since you're all around each other all the time). Dress professionally, but be relaxed.

If you have no military experience, don't talk about how you had an uncle in Vietnam that inspired you, FSO's can see through that bullshit a mile away. Focus on your strengths as an attorney and a person, and how you think you can use those to contribute to the mission. It helps to have shown an interest early on in military legal work (e.g. a paper on UCMJ aspects of a legal point for a class or something... I did a poo poo-ton of these) but don't stress if you didn't. Just bring a couple examples of your best work to show. Bring a few copies of your resume of course. Be prepared with a good answer not only "why the military?" but specifically "why the Army?".

Mine was a bit different because as a former military guy it just turned into one big bullshit session with the FSO and he ended up ranking me #1 on his list of people he talked to that semester. But I give you these tips based on what he has told me (he and I have since become e-buddies).

Hey, defleshed, I have a friend who's applying for a 1L summer position with JAG - she's kinda worried about how selective it is but is going to go ahead and take her best shot. Any advice on how she should approach the interview, other than what you said here? Do they tend to emphasize GPA for the 1L summer or are there other things they focus on?

# ? Jan 19, 2011 23:00

Soothing Vapors: Mar 26, 2006; Associate Justice Lena "Kegels" Dunham: An uncool thought to have: 'is that guy walking in the dark behind me a rapist? Never mind, he's Asian.

Defleshed posted:

Don't treat it like a law firm interview. That legal robot poo poo is not really wanted in the Army. He or she does not care about how awesome you were when you burned your professor on a point of law in Torts or how many notes you did for Law Review.

Defleshed I'm not sure you have a realistic view of what law firm interviewers are looking for

# ? Jan 19, 2011 23:52

Sulecrist: Apr 5, 2007; Better tear off this bar association logo.

Direwolf posted:

Hey, defleshed, I have a friend who's applying for a 1L summer position with JAG - she's kinda worried about how selective it is but is going to go ahead and take her best shot. Any advice on how she should approach the interview, other than what you said here? Do they tend to emphasize GPA for the 1L summer or are there other things they focus on?

I'm curious about this too. Army and AF are coming on-campus for 1L OCI and I bid as high as possible on them, but I was wondering how impossible positions are.

# ? Jan 20, 2011 00:52

Defleshed: Nov 18, 2004; F is for... FREEDOM

Dantu posted:

I'm a former military guy also, so hopefully my experience will be similar to yours. So I should bring more than one writing sample? I've been out of school since May so I set this up on my own at another law school, kind of feel like I'm flying blind. Thanks for the info.

Bring a couple samples that showcase your research skills. As a former military you're going to have a much easier go of it since you won't be intimidated by the uniform or the perceived air of authority or anything like that, plus you already know the vast majority of things that people with no experience are going to ask about in an FSO interview. My advice is to see how open your FSO is to shaping the interview as more of a "bullshit session", and sort of ingratiate yourself that way. Really play up your prior military experience and your desire to return to that lifestyle. Most of the people they interview (85% or more) have no prior military experience so it is a nice relief for them to "talk shop" (regardless of how unrelated Army JAG is to your prior service). Not having to answer silly questions like "will I have to sleep with a gun" and "will I have to live in an open barracks" will put the FSO at ease and the interview will go a lot smoother.

Direwolf posted:

Hey, defleshed, I have a friend who's applying for a 1L summer position with JAG - she's kinda worried about how selective it is but is going to go ahead and take her best shot. Any advice on how she should approach the interview, other than what you said here? Do they tend to emphasize GPA for the 1L summer or are there other things they focus on?

I really only know one guy who did this. He had no prior military experience and was making GBS threads it trying to find anything to do over 1L summer so he threw down on the JAG Summer as a last ditch try to find something to do (this was summer 07 when things were still peachy keen and 1Ls were not stabbing each other for unpaid internships). He had a great time and is now an active duty Army JAG at Ft. Hood in Texas. He was far (FAR) from the top of our class but is a very friendly and outgoing guy, the kind you instantly like when you meet him. I think that had a lot to do with him getting the gig. Other than that I honestly do not know much about the criteria for those 1L positions. Knowing the Army, they are probably chosen like you see lotto balls picked out of a tumbler at 7:10 PM on WGN.

As far as the impossibility of attaining those positions (or any JAG spot) it is definitely harder than it used to be. Like everywhere else, the military can afford to be a lot more selective these days, and the secret is sort of out about what a secure and pretty well-paid gig the JAG actually is. I'm hearing the selection rate on average hovers around 5% of applicants, with the Air Force being the most selective and the Army the least.

For the actual JAG spots (as opposed to the 1L summers which you really only have one shot at), persistence is key. It took me 4 tries and I know people who applied 6 or more times.

Soothing Vapors posted:

Defleshed I'm not sure you have a realistic view of what law firm interviewers are looking for

This is where I go all GBS racist and say "but some of my best friends work in law firms" right?

I knew that comment would rub people the wrong way, but honestly the OP (and all prestigious law firms) care only about your GPA, where you went to school, and how uncomplainingly you'll work 14 hour days + weekends. You can say that, just like Army FSO's, law firm recruiters at OCI *also* want to hire people they would like to work with and I guess you wouldn't be lying but the truth is you'll never even get a chance to be seen by them if you don't meet the aforementioned criteria so really you're going to be working with people who are mostly the same and approach work in the same way anyway.

The "law robot" thing was an intentional dig, I admit it. And you're also right that I voluntarily disengaged from our weak rear end OCI, my school's career services, and the traditional law school-to-legal job path (yay 2008) so maybe I don't have the best insight into that area. I have a huge hate-on for the salaries though and am admittedly jealous of the few friends I have who managed to sneak in under the wire to that kind of money.

My point I guess was more that you need to distinguish yourself in some other way when talking to an Army JAG FSO since they literally will talk to anyone with a law degree.

# ? Jan 20, 2011 01:35

Ersatz: Sep 17, 2005

Defenestration posted:

I have an Aeron, it's pretty fantastic. Maybe not tall enough for a partner chair though.

http://www.amazon.com/Aeron-Chair-Herman-Graphite-Classic/dp/B000W6IQK8

Seconding this recommendation. We have these in my office and they are extremely comfortable.

# ? Jan 20, 2011 02:02

Napoleon I: Oct 31, 2005; Goons of the Fifth, you recognize me. If any man would shoot his emperor, he may do so now.

Linguica posted:

<--- me irl right now

Same. Law review hosed me over on the application; still got the job I wanted, and haven't used westlaw or lexis since August. :smug:

Napoleon I fucked around with this message at 05:03 on Jan 20, 2011

# ? Jan 20, 2011 05:01

WhiskeyJuvenile: Feb 15, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo

Phil Moscowitz posted:

Someone tell me what office chair to tell my firm to buy. Up to $1k.

this and $981.50 of liquor

# ? Jan 20, 2011 07:59

qwertyman: May 2, 2003; Congress gave me $3.1 trillion, which I already spent on extremely dangerous drugs. We had acid, cocaine, and a whole galaxy of uppers, downers, screamers, laughers, and amyls.

Got a semester-long internship with UNICEF. Will actually be doing panda law work!

# ? Jan 20, 2011 20:54

billion dollar bitch: Jul 20, 2005; To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.

I'm 33 on this waitlist and I don't think I'm getting in but I desperately need this class. Options? Solutions?

# ? Jan 20, 2011 21:07

evilweasel: Aug 24, 2002

billion dollar bitch posted:

I'm 33 on this waitlist and I don't think I'm getting in but I desperately need this class. Options? Solutions?

Talking to the professor is pretty much your only good shot. That said, you can move a surprising amount.

# ? Jan 20, 2011 21:09

billion dollar bitch: Jul 20, 2005; To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.

Suitchat!

Tiebar collars: hot, or douchey? Or douchey-hot?

# ? Jan 20, 2011 21:23

entris: Oct 22, 2008; by Y Kant Ozma Post

billion dollar bitch posted:

Suitchat!

Tiebar collars: hot, or douchey? Or douchey-hot?

Not sure what a tiebar collar is, exactly, but tiebars are incredibly douchey.

I bought a three-piece suit recently, and wore it on New Years Eve, and I think every suit I buy from now on is going to include a vest because vests are awesome.

# ? Jan 20, 2011 21:36

Defleshed: Nov 18, 2004; F is for... FREEDOM

entris posted:

Not sure what a tiebar collar is, exactly, but tiebars are incredibly douchey.

I bought a three-piece suit recently, and wore it on New Years Eve, and I think every suit I buy from now on is going to include a vest because vests are awesome.

How can you call tiebars douchey and advocate for three pieces in the same sentence?

I think both are awesome actually, but I'm not gonna lie both are pretty loving fancy as well.

# ? Jan 20, 2011 21:38

entris: Oct 22, 2008; by Y Kant Ozma Post

Defleshed posted:

How can you call tiebars douchey and advocate for three pieces in the same sentence?

I think both are awesome actually, but I'm not gonna lie both are pretty loving fancy as well.

Two separate sentences, actually, but I see your point.

...which is that you agree with me that vests are awesome.

Tiebars lift the knot of the tie, and I've only ever seen them used twice in real life, and both times it just looked really odd.

Vests, on the other hand, make you look like a cool motherfucker.

# ? Jan 20, 2011 21:46

Defleshed: Nov 18, 2004; F is for... FREEDOM

entris posted:

Tiebars lift the knot of the tie, and I've only ever seen them used twice in real life, and both times it just looked really odd.

Vests, on the other hand, make you look like a cool motherfucker.

They're both old-fashioned which is, ironically, actually in fashion for men's business attire due to the popularity of Mad Men. I only have one three-piece and though I think it is sharp I feel out of place when I wear it most of the time unless it is at a work event where there will be a lot of older lawyers. Tie bars are just a sharp accessory which in my opinion give a nice "pop" to some kinds of materials that seem to have knots that lay too flat. I'm not a tie-tying virtuoso and I only know two knots so tie bars can make a nice tie stand out a little more. Just my opinion.

# ? Jan 20, 2011 22:04

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# ? May 15, 2024 15:51

entris: Oct 22, 2008; by Y Kant Ozma Post

Defleshed posted:

They're both old-fashioned which is, ironically, actually in fashion for men's business attire due to the popularity of Mad Men. I only have one three-piece and though I think it is sharp I feel out of place when I wear it most of the time unless it is at a work event where there will be a lot of older lawyers. Tie bars are just a sharp accessory which in my opinion give a nice "pop" to some kinds of materials that seem to have knots that lay too flat. I'm not a tie-tying virtuoso and I only know two knots so tie bars can make a nice tie stand out a little more. Just my opinion.

I take back my earlier mockery. I can see your point about tiebars being useful for the flatter knots, and I guess a tiebar could be useful for a tie made out of a really thin material.

But man, the ones I've seen just looked stoooopid.

# ? Jan 20, 2011 22:06

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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