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Farrah
Jun 19, 2008
I had to switch plans to get coverage because my PPO plan only covered "diagnosis and treatment of underlying cause" meaning (I guess) unblocking a blocked tube or something I guess. Not IUI/IVF. I changed to the HMO plan (same insurance company) and it worked out pretty well. HMO type plans I think are your best bet. I also know that certain states (Arkansas, Hawaii, Illinois, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Montana, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Rhode Island, West Virginia, California, Connecticut and Texas) are "mandate" states where if you employer meets certain qualifications, they have to offer a plan that has fertility coverage. A lot of employers will use technicalities to get out of it though. Many teachers unions and military insurance also includes fertility coverage.

I guess just look into it. Usually your insurance company has a "What is Covered" document where they go into all these sorts of things including fertility coverage. If you and your partner both have insurance available, I'd check into both to see if either offers better coverage.

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Papaya
Apr 4, 2005

I'm a creepy furry who feels entitled to other people's babies, but only if they are white. Yiff!
For us, things don't seem as bad as I was anticipating.

HSG here will run me $335. Each IUI cycle is $350 for the insem itself, plus whatever the trigger shot will cost (I didn't get a quote on that). Monitoring each cycle post IUI is $270. We just spent $1300 on sperm + shipping, at $300 per vial and half off the cost of shipping since they were running a deal for January for new customers. None of this is covered under our insurance, only testing, which at this time I did not need so I didn't get it. We have an FSA that my husband put several thousand dollars into so that should help cover the costs of the IUIs.

I will be having live sperm shot up into my hoohoo in two weeks! :woop:

Pata Pata Pata Pon
Jun 20, 2007

On the insurance thing, a lot of you say that your doctor claims a procedure is for irregular periods or whatever to get insurance to cover it. How do you bring this up to your doctor? Just say, "I know insurance doesn't cover this procedure, so you can say it's for my irregular periods?" It just seems weird to say, "Oh, I don't want to pay out of pocket for this expensive procedure, so can you say it's for something else?" I mean, I'm all for not paying for expensive poo poo out of pocket, but I feel awkward bringing it up.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

Banana Cat posted:

On the insurance thing, a lot of you say that your doctor claims a procedure is for irregular periods or whatever to get insurance to cover it. How do you bring this up to your doctor? Just say, "I know insurance doesn't cover this procedure, so you can say it's for my irregular periods?" It just seems weird to say, "Oh, I don't want to pay out of pocket for this expensive procedure, so can you say it's for something else?" I mean, I'm all for not paying for expensive poo poo out of pocket, but I feel awkward bringing it up.

My Gyn did some bloodwork and an ultrasound to see how things were going for me and I didn't even ask, she just said point blank she was going to bill it as for irregular periods/cramps. I have a longer than normal cycle which I guess counts as irregular even though its consistent.

Farrah
Jun 19, 2008

Banana Cat posted:

On the insurance thing, a lot of you say that your doctor claims a procedure is for irregular periods or whatever to get insurance to cover it. How do you bring this up to your doctor? Just say, "I know insurance doesn't cover this procedure, so you can say it's for my irregular periods?" It just seems weird to say, "Oh, I don't want to pay out of pocket for this expensive procedure, so can you say it's for something else?" I mean, I'm all for not paying for expensive poo poo out of pocket, but I feel awkward bringing it up.

It was the doctor's idea, so I didn't have to propose it. I think most of them hate insurance companies more than anyone. I assumed I had coverage either was since at the time of my HSG, I was still on the "Diagnosis and Treatment of Underlying Condition" insurance plan. I guess she just didn't want to risk it. She also billed my initial "Infertility Consultation" as "irregular periods" which they were not. She's a regular gynecologist who just knows a lot about infertility, in the same practice as my OB/GYN and ended up referring us to a fertility clinic once we did the HSG and sperm analysis.

I didn't explain this earlier but the huge amount of blood work you and your partner have to go through is STD screening and genetic testing, which is why it's so expensive. You have to be healthy enough to make a child before they'll help you. You can be overweight, but you can't be morbidly obese. You can't smoke or do drugs (duh). If you're not married, they want you get a lawyer consultation to make sure you know what you're getting into legally.

If you're using your partner's sperm for IUI/IVF, most places will let you jerk it at home (they give you a cup with a lid) and bring it in. You need to keep it warm (I was told to put it between my boobs) and get it to them within an hour or so. It takes about an hour for them to wash the sperm, which gives you a more quality concentration, and then you come back and they do their thing.

One really important thing I learned in all of this: If you think you can, let your employer know what you're up to. I know some people can't do this, but I let my boss and several of my coworkers know what I was up to. It was less stressful not having to make excuses and lie all the time since I had a lot of appointments. Most of them were early in the morning before work, but I was often late those days. You're also going to get very last minute notice on when you have to go in for your IUI/IVF because it's dependent on the development and maturity of your follicles. For IVF I literally had to wait for a phone call to tell me to come at 5:45am for my retrieval 36 hours after taking my Ovidrel shots and then be on bed rest for two days.

The CDC requires fertility clinics report their IVF success rates. A site like this is good for checking into rates for your state. I'm not sure similar data exists for IUI.

Beastyfella
Mar 5, 2008

I have lost all powers of reading comprehension and counting ability hours ago
Welp, here goes our attempt for this month...
Kind of weird though. The last few cycles she has the LH rush about 2 days *after* when most ovulation calendars said she should, and now this time she got the LH rush 2 days before. I know that 4 days isn't that much different but it just felt odd to me.

I know it would be a great birthday present to my wife if we're finally successful this month.

Good_Vs_Evil
Sep 12, 2006

Beastyfella posted:

I know it would be a great birthday present to my wife if we're finally successful this month.

Here's hoping for you two!

My wife and I thought the same thing. We just did our 3rd cycle of IUI - the first one we thought, "Everyone will be here for Thanksgiving, and it would be so awesome to tell them then!"

Then we thought, "Maybe for Christmas! It would be a great present to tell everyone then!"

Now we're just thinking it would be nice sometime. We're currently in that 2 week waiting period between IUI and testing. It's a sucky two weeks, thought after the first (failed) attempt, the anticipation and hope isn't what is used to be, so it got a little easier. It definitely helps now that we have doctors helping us. Kind of takes a load off of us trying to gauge what's what and when things might happen and what we need to do and taking temperatures and checking fluids and rotating tires and....wait..

Good_Vs_Evil fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Jan 16, 2011

Papaya
Apr 4, 2005

I'm a creepy furry who feels entitled to other people's babies, but only if they are white. Yiff!

Farrah posted:


One really important thing I learned in all of this: If you think you can, let your employer know what you're up to.

This is why I had to quit my job. I told my boss I was going to be starting this IUI nonsense, and she flat out told me that I would have to schedule my appts when I had time off of work on the pre-arranged schedule, and I told her it wouldn't work that way, and she said that it had to or I couldn't do it because I wasn't allowed time off work for any reason whatsoever.

I turned in my two weeks five days later.

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

How dare you want to have kids. Don't you realize your lovely job is more important than you procreating? :smug:

slinkimalinki
Jan 17, 2010
For those worrying that sperm is running out of them after sex, I read recently (in a handbook from a fertility service) that what runs out is the non-sperm seminal fluids that are no longer needed, the spermy-bits having coagulated. It wasn't 100% clearly written, but since they finished the paragraph with "so if you're worried that sperm is running out of you, don't be.", I have to assume that was what they were saying.

Papaya
Apr 4, 2005

I'm a creepy furry who feels entitled to other people's babies, but only if they are white. Yiff!

Alterian posted:

How dare you want to have kids. Don't you realize your lovely job is more important than you procreating? :smug:

WELL YEAH OF COURSE

duuuhhh

she about poo poo her pants when I handed her the letter, guess she never took me seriously when I said I didn't really NEED the job

fishandcandy
Jul 10, 2006

slinkimalinki posted:

For those worrying that sperm is running out of them after sex, I read recently (in a handbook from a fertility service) that what runs out is the non-sperm seminal fluids that are no longer needed, the spermy-bits having coagulated. It wasn't 100% clearly written, but since they finished the paragraph with "so if you're worried that sperm is running out of you, don't be.", I have to assume that was what they were saying.

Or if you're really worried, you could put in an Instead cup right after you have sex and I guess it'll hold everything in. A bunch of girls on one of my TTC boards did that. (Not me.)

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

fishandcandy posted:

Or if you're really worried, you could put in an Instead cup right after you have sex and I guess it'll hold everything in. A bunch of girls on one of my TTC boards did that. (Not me.)

Yeah, they also say if they're not in the mood, they get their husbands to jack it into the cups and just put it up there.

Papaya
Apr 4, 2005

I'm a creepy furry who feels entitled to other people's babies, but only if they are white. Yiff!
If we had used a known donor or were able to get anon sperm at home, we would've used the insert cup into vag method.

As it is, today is cycle day 1, and on the 28th I go in for an ultrasound to check to see where my follicles are. I'm pretty excited finally :3: I could be getting spermed up in just over a week!

fishandcandy
Jul 10, 2006

Alterian posted:

Yeah, they also say if they're not in the mood, they get their husbands to jack it into the cups and just put it up there.

Husbands do that?!? That is seriously insane.

Papaya
Apr 4, 2005

I'm a creepy furry who feels entitled to other people's babies, but only if they are white. Yiff!

fishandcandy posted:

Husbands do that?!? That is seriously insane.

Spend a day on the MDC boards. It's pretty whacked. I post there once in a blue moon to check in on people I know there but I took a 7-8 month hiatus from there for a reason. My brain melted.

Bahunter22
Jul 3, 2010

Papaya posted:

Spend a day on the MDC boards. It's pretty whacked. I post there once in a blue moon to check in on people I know there but I took a 7-8 month hiatus from there for a reason. My brain melted.

Welcome to my reason for this being the one and only conception thread I belong to. We speak freely and you goons don't scare the ever living poo poo out of me. For that, I thank you.

Pretty sure I'm out this month. Hubby got sick during our window and didn't want to have the sexin' with no kissing. He said it had to be the most loveless way possible to conceive our baby.

Then I told him about the jacking into Instead cups. I won.

Pata Pata Pata Pon
Jun 20, 2007

Bahunter22 posted:


Then I told him about the jacking into Instead cups. I won.

This is awesome.

I finally went to the OBGYN, and it wasn't horrible! I printed out and brought along all my fertility charts since I started charting in June and the OBGYN was super happy, as she was quite familiar with fertility charting and found it helpful to have my (long, crappy) cycle history right there. So thanks to those of you who keep bringing up the Taking Charge of Your Fertility book and fertility charting.

Apparently there's nothing wrong with me at first glance. My uterine lining is normal, my ovaries are there, my thyroid is fine, testosterone and some other hormones are normal, etc. It's possible that I have PCOS since I'm overweight and pre-diabetic, so since I'm on day 15 of my current cycle, I got a prescription for progesterone to "force a menses" around day 35, so on day 3 of the next cycle I can go into the lab for more hormone tests. AND...since one look at my charts basically showed that I rarely ovulate, she wrote up a prescription for Clomid without me asking about it! I don't even care that Clomid isn't covered by insurance, I was SO SURE that the doctor would come in, snap her gum, and say, "Eh, you're young, just lose some more weight and you'll get pregnant," that the Clomid prescription made me loving elated. I know it won't definitely make me pregnant, but it should up our chances and I'm thrilled, especially since this visit was officially all about "irregular periods" and not "infertility." My husband's pretty psyched too. :dance:

Farrah
Jun 19, 2008
Good luck!

I know of a 19-year-old who's been trying to conceive with her soldier husband for a year who was put on Clomid and now she's pregnant with twins.

Pata Pata Pata Pon
Jun 20, 2007

Yeah, the OB went over the whole "risk of twins" thing with us, too. In the car, I turned to my husband and said that even though I had the Clomid prescription, I wouldn't pick it up if he felt like twins would be too burdensome or whatever, and he looked at me with shining eyes and said, "I'd LOVE to have twins! :love:". I pointed him towards Aagar's posts in the pregnancy thread for a more realistic idea of what having twins entails, but if he's up for the craziness, so am I.

Papaya
Apr 4, 2005

I'm a creepy furry who feels entitled to other people's babies, but only if they are white. Yiff!

Banana Cat posted:

...with shining eyes and said, "I'd LOVE to have twins! :love:".

That's adorable :3: My husband is sorta on the fence about multiples, esp since he only wants 2 kids tops (right now) and I think he'd freak out if we were carrying multiples. I know he'd be ok with it all said and done, but that initial bit of info would have him pissing himself for a few weeks haha

Bahunter22
Jul 3, 2010
I've always wanted twins and since the husband and I want two kids tops, it would kind of be a bing, bang, done kind of deal. However, he is not so much on board with having two infants at once. That's fantastic though, Banana Cat. Very few people I have met are excited at the prospect of twins. Its nice to see that I'm not the only one ready for some craziness!

The Cunt Pickle
Sep 7, 2010
Hi guys! So I haven't posted in here in a while because it was getting to be just too painful to read given that we stopped TTC. I hope everyone is still doing well and I'm sad for the ones that are still going for it. Hope everyone gets their bundles in due time.

I just really need someone to share my pain with right now who would honestly understand.

Remember how every single woman in my life with an intact uterus got pregnant 8-9 months ago? Well the babies have started popping and it's incredibly painful to watch. We went to visit my new nephew today and it was actually physically painful to put him down and leave. I keep trying to tell myself, "It's alright- you'll be a physician assistant in two years and you'll have money, the career, AND a baby." But holy gently caress my soul hurt today. When my birth control alarm went off on my phone I wanted to stomp on my pill shell. I popped the pill out and just stared it down for a bit before I swallowed it.

This sucks. :(

However, my husband and I did decide that if I am rejected from my final school process first round (35% acceptance rate so it's possible) that we'll start trying again when the rejection letter comes. That raised my spirits a bit because even if I'm rejected I have something to look forward to. If I am rejected I'll just have to take another class or two to raise my science GPA so that would be relatively easy to balance with a pregnancy, and next PA school cycle would be far enough off that a baby would be old enough that I would feel comfortable with childcare and could balance the program better.

So yeah. Good luck to all you wonderful hopeful parents. I'll just sit in my corner and sulk some more.

Farrah
Jun 19, 2008
:( Sorry you're having to deal with that.

When I started trying in 2009 there was a girl at work who was also trying and we ended up getting pregnant around the same time. Unfortunately, I miscarried at 10 weeks so I had to break the news to her and then try and be positive about her pregnancy. I know she avoided me a lot because it was so awkward. Then she left for maternity leave and didn't come back but we kept in touch a bit.

Next, I'm still trying and I have another coworker who sits two cubes away who's also trying. She gets pregnant within a couple months while I'm shooting stims and doing IUIs and getting no where. Again, with the awkwardness. She was due in December and I awesomely got pregnant in November. She went into labor like two weeks later, so it was good timing. I didn't want to be a damper on her joy.

It's very painful to see other women get pregnant when you want it so bad, but you'll have your time too. I know it sucks like crazy, but you'll get there eventually.

The Cunt Pickle
Sep 7, 2010
Thanks. :) I feel bad going to my husband repeatedly about it. He doesn't really understand why I feel this mad rush. Yes, he wants kids- but he's perfectly content to wait a couple of years. He told me once that it makes him feel really guilty that he can't give me what I want and makes him feel inadequate. Like I'm not happy enough with just him. And that makes me feel terrible because that's not it at all.

Thanks for listening to me whine.

Pata Pata Pata Pon
Jun 20, 2007

The oval office Pickle posted:



Remember how every single woman in my life with an intact uterus got pregnant 8-9 months ago? Well the babies have started popping and it's incredibly painful to watch. We went to visit my new nephew today and it was actually physically painful to put him down and leave.

That's kind of the opposite of me. I was never big into cooing over babies and stuff before, but the more time goes by for me without getting pregnant, the more I just avoid babies. My mother-in-law has been posting videos of my nephew on facebook and tagging me and everyone she knows in them (so we see them, I guess?) and I've been detagging myself without watching them. I'm really into reading ABOUT baby stuff and researching everything from cloth diapers to IVF at the moment, but when it comes to actual babies I just don't feel up for interacting with them right now. The last time we visited my husband's family I think they were starting to feel that something was up because my husband and I were the only ones not constantly hovering over the baby and cooing over it, but luckily his immediate family is wise enough to keep their mouths shut.

I hope you feel a little better soon, The oval office Pickle. Something good will happen soon :)

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

Confession time: a handful of months ago, this couple that my husband and I are acquainted with posted on their facebook that the wife is pregnant again. I don't really like these people. They're pretty horrible people. They're incredibly unhealthy (the fattest people I've ever seen in real life), they're small minded, and they already have a kid that they neglect. When their kid was a baby, they kept it in its car seat 24/7 and never let it do anything because they didn't want to deal with it, and the doctor has already warned them that their kid is too drat fat and its only a toddler. We went out to a group function at a restaurant and they were there and their kid was just about 2/not quite 2, and it ate more food than I could eat for a lunch and was still hungry.

Anyway, I was pretty upset/mad that they were having ANOTHER kid when my husband and I have been trying for 2 years unsuccessfully. A week later she had a miscarriage. I felt bad about my snap feelings were about that. To be fair, she wasn't even 10 weeks yet.

Papaya
Apr 4, 2005

I'm a creepy furry who feels entitled to other people's babies, but only if they are white. Yiff!
After trying for two and a half years and finally getting the finances to start IUI/donor insems, I can safely say my sanity level is pretty low. I've always wanted kids and it was a real mindfuck to wind up with a spouse who wound up being pretty much sterile and get to sit on the subject of to go to all the trouble to have kids or not. I wish I was in a "whoops pregnant!" sort of situation instead, because this infertility bullshit sucks.

I have a shitton of friends pregnant right now or trying for their seconds/thirds and I feel left behind and angry about it. Even this absolute twat of a girl I went to high school with just had her first kid two weeks ago. I am shocked and afraid for the kid - I can't imagine someone like that caring for a living thing.

I had a "why me" moment when I found that one out.

Beastyfella
Mar 5, 2008

I have lost all powers of reading comprehension and counting ability hours ago
Man it feels like it's taking an extra long time this month to get to pregnancy test day...One more week to go.

Ultrasound came back negative for any problems, so we got the generic "Well you're both young and healthy, blah blah, we don't have any idea what's going on either so we hope you get pregnant and see you before you have to schedule an infertility visit"

I have to agree with the thought that everyone seems pregnant right now. Some of our friends are already onto their second kid, and just about everyone else we know is pregnant except for us, so of course we get the "So when are you guys going to get around to having kids?" Makes me want to strangle them.

Pata Pata Pata Pon
Jun 20, 2007

Alterian, that brings up something else that is really irritating right now--I've been told by a couple of docs that being overweight fucks with ovulation and I understand why. I'm not morbidly overweight, but I am plump and I've been working on my diet and exercising for the last half year or so (and seeing results!). Yet, I look around and see a bunch of morbidly obese pregnant women and I don't understand HOW. My aunt is easily hovering at or near 350 lbs and she's been pregnant four times, all accidentally. How?! Why?!

The Cunt Pickle
Sep 7, 2010

Banana Cat posted:

That's kind of the opposite of me. I was never big into cooing over babies and stuff before, but the more time goes by for me without getting pregnant, the more I just avoid babies. My mother-in-law has been posting videos of my nephew on facebook and tagging me and everyone she knows in them (so we see them, I guess?) and I've been detagging myself without watching them. I'm really into reading ABOUT baby stuff and researching everything from cloth diapers to IVF at the moment, but when it comes to actual babies I just don't feel up for interacting with them right now. The last time we visited my husband's family I think they were starting to feel that something was up because my husband and I were the only ones not constantly hovering over the baby and cooing over it, but luckily his immediate family is wise enough to keep their mouths shut.

I hope you feel a little better soon, The oval office Pickle. Something good will happen soon :)

I think the reason it was so difficult was a jealousy and living vicariously thing. This baby was adorable, sweet, I loved him...and he wasn't mine. My sister-in-law was glowing with happiness and my brother-in-law was completely doting Dad and...it wasn't us. He wasn't MINE. There will be no MINE for the bare minimum of 1 year to a maximum of 3 years.

It's more of that jealousy crap that I can't really talk about anywhere else without sounding like a colossal bitch. Bah!

dishonesty
Sep 11, 2001

There's no place like home.

Alterian posted:

To be fair, she wasn't even 10 weeks yet.

I totally get being jealous and angry when other couples get pregnant ESPECIALLY when they're poo poo people who already have children they can't care for.

But I'm just wondering what this has to do with anything?

Grayscale Rainbow
Oct 17, 2009

I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this, The oval office Pickle :( I just wanted to chime in to say that I get the soul-pain/jealousy thing. I have never been a jealous person until now. Every time I hear someone is pregnant (all the pregnancies I hear about are accidental or they got pregnant very easily) I feel so resentful and angry. I don't want to feel that way, but I can't exactly make myself not feel what I feel. So then I feel guilty about feeling angry and resentful and it altogether sucks. I try to be kind and understanding at all times, and these feelings really throw me for a loop. And the pain of seeing little babies is horrible. I mean, I love seeing them, but it does physically hurt. My husband's cousin had a baby a few months ago and while I love seeing him, it hurts every time. What's even more painful is that he was conceived and born all within the time my husband and I have been trying to conceive.

dishonesty
Sep 11, 2001

There's no place like home.

Grayscale Rainbow posted:

I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this, The oval office Pickle :( I just wanted to chime in to say that I get the soul-pain/jealousy thing. I have never been a jealous person until now. Every time I hear someone is pregnant (all the pregnancies I hear about are accidental or they got pregnant very easily) I feel so resentful and angry. I don't want to feel that way, but I can't exactly make myself not feel what I feel. So then I feel guilty about feeling angry and resentful and it altogether sucks. I try to be kind and understanding at all times, and these feelings really throw me for a loop. And the pain of seeing little babies is horrible. I mean, I love seeing them, but it does physically hurt. My husband's cousin had a baby a few months ago and while I love seeing him, it hurts every time. What's even more painful is that he was conceived and born all within the time my husband and I have been trying to conceive.

I'm SO the same. It really does hurt the soul. It aches deep inside and it's just so painful. I feel like a freak when holding someone's baby and not wanting to let them go. gently caress life sometimes eh?

Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

dishonesty posted:

I totally get being jealous and angry when other couples get pregnant ESPECIALLY when they're poo poo people who already have children they can't care for.

But I'm just wondering what this has to do with anything?

Usually people don't tell people (other than maybe close family) that they're pregnant (especially not all over facebook) until they're at least 10 weeks to 3 months pregnant because if you're going to lose a pregnancy, its going to happen before then.

slinkimalinki
Jan 17, 2010
I'm going to start avoiding TTC threads on other noticeboards, not so much because of the "OMG babydust so you can BD with your DP and get your BFP" stuff, but because of the "Go girl, it's totally your turn this month, I can feel it" stuff. Turns out, it's not "my turn this month". I'm fed up with monitoring every bodily change in case it means I'm pregnant.

dishonesty
Sep 11, 2001

There's no place like home.

Alterian posted:

Usually people don't tell people (other than maybe close family) that they're pregnant (especially not all over facebook) until they're at least 10 weeks to 3 months pregnant because if you're going to lose a pregnancy, its going to happen before then.

Ok firstly, not entirely true. People lose pregnancies at any stage, but I know what you're getting at.

I just don't know why you seemed to be all "I felt bad, but she was only 10 weeks pregnant anyway" like that doesn't matter as much because she wasn't far along?

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Pata Pata Pata Pon
Jun 20, 2007

I had a relative who miscarried at 8 months. I am sure that losing a pregnancy at any stage can be devastating, but it would probably be harder, emotionally, for someone to lose a pregnancy at 8 months than at 10 weeks, when you're sort of in the "expected" miscarriage time. I don't think I'm saying this very well, but with miscarrying in the first trimester, at least you could figure, "Well, it wasn't viable due to a genetic defect/etc, anyway." Way later in a pregnancy you've not only had months to hype up for your kid, but who genuinely expects to suddenly miscarry eight months along? I mean, if things had been even slightly different the kid could have been just born premature and survived.

I highly doubt Alterian is suggesting shrugging off a first-trimester miscarriage, but I can totally see what she's getting at.

fishandcandy
Jul 10, 2006
I don't think you can judge someone's grief on how far along they were in their pregnancy. There are women who are absolutely devasted by miscarriages at 6 weeks - like naming the baby and getting memorial tattoos.
And having a genetically defective baby doesn't make losing it any easier either.

I think it's also becoming a lot more normal to spread the news earlier now that facebook makes oversharing so much easier. Which, on one hand, I like because I don't like the idea of not being able to tell people b/c you're afraid you might have a shameful miscarriage that you need to keep secret. On the other hand, how dare you be so confident that your pregnancy will result in a child. A girl I know is around 8 weeks and some of my friends were talking about throwing her a baby shower. And I'm thinking let's wait and see if she gets that far.

Anyway... my friend's daughter got pregnant a few months after me and didn't know what she was having yet when I lost mine. I really couldn't stand the idea of her having a girl. She found out a few weeks later that, yes, it was a girl. I went to her baby shower and it was absolute torture. The baby was born in December and I went and saw her last week. It was... okay. I declined to hold the baby. I listened to her joke about how she was going to be waiting outside the daycare to drop her almost 2 yr old son off the moment they opened.

Well, I'm irritable and defensive today, so I hope I didn't say anything offensive.

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Alterian
Jan 28, 2003

I know that some people take any miscarriage hard, but it IS true that the vast majority of them happen before 3 months.

I just think its pretty infuriating when someone who doesn't even take care of the one they already have is posting about getting knocked up before they even have a doctors appointment to confirm it. Most people probably wouldn't even realize they were pregnant, just a little late with a very horrible period to follow. Why are these selfish fat fucks even trying for another one?

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