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No Real Pattern posted:Note the other brains in the background. This is not an abstract representation of a sudden mental surge. Braingeysers, floating brains that barf up magic, are a literal thing.
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Feb 26, 2011 11:24
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http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/magic-alpha-original.php Not only is the rapport hilarious as usual this time around, but it also made me groan at every page because I remember EVERY one of these cards being played in my highschool lunchroom at one time or another. Good humor makes you hate yourself, right? Oh, and Steve? Correct me if I'm wrong here, but can't you only have four of a card in a deck? Except mono artifacts, but they discontinued those in *shoots self*
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Mar 3, 2011 13:42
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:Oh, and Steve? Correct me if I'm wrong here, but can't you only have four of a card in a deck? Except mono artifacts, but they discontinued those in *shoots self* I think you're the first people to mention that Prodigal Sorcerer looks like a fantasy/sci-fi character other than Tim the Enchanter from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. That's why he's nicknamed Tim. 
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Mar 3, 2011 17:13
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I had a lot of disposable income in the '90s but was still a nerd for a long while. I owned every single one of those cards. I ended up trading a box full of them (including Fungusaur!) for my friend's wife.Y-Hat posted:Back in the Alpha days, there were no card limits for your deck, so you could have all the Chaos Orbs, Ancestral Recalls, and Plague Rats you wanted. It was ridiculous. I played with a 250+ card 2-color deck that had over 70 ornithopters in it. That game was cheap in such an awesome way. I quit when they introduced multi-color heroes. ClearAirTurbulence fucked around with this message at 18:02 on Mar 3, 2011 |
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Mar 3, 2011 17:59
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ClearAirTurbulence posted:I ended up trading a box full of them (including Fungusaur!) for my friend's wife. woah woah woah lemme get this straight. You traded magic cards for your friend wife. As in, he pimped out his wife for magic cards...?
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Mar 3, 2011 18:36
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DamnGlitch posted:woah woah woah lemme get this straight. You traded magic cards for your friend wife. As in, he pimped out his wife for magic cards...? It was the '90s and it was a really good deck.
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Mar 3, 2011 20:21
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I never got into magic, but I love watching my friend's play. I got a blown up version of that chaos orb from a gencon years back and my friend kept laughing manically about the two he had in his deck.ClearAirTurbulence posted:It was the '90s and it was a really good deck. 
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Mar 3, 2011 20:25
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ClearAirTurbulence posted:It was the '90s and it was a really good deck. Sorry, no, that is not sufficient. Full story.
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Mar 3, 2011 20:45
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ClearAirTurbulence posted:I quit when they introduced multi-color heroes. I still have a soft spot in my heart for Magic, even though I haven't played it since high school. I could never do constructed again because you'll spend well more than $150 for your mana base alone, but I'd be good with drafting. Unfortunately they closed Neutral Ground, a well-known New York card shop, a couple of years ago. Edit: I also want to hear the wife swap story 
get that OUT of my face fucked around with this message at 20:55 on Mar 3, 2011 |
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Mar 3, 2011 20:53
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DamnGlitch posted:woah woah woah lemme get this straight. You traded magic cards for your friend wife. As in, he pimped out his wife for magic cards...? Wow; I bet she was a real peach.
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Mar 3, 2011 23:01
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Man what the gently caress!
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Mar 3, 2011 23:01
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One stupid thing I miss about Magic in those days was the flavor text. I remember they used to use all sorts of sources for flavor text, like native american mythology, the bible, arabian proverbs, classical literature, etc. Or they would make up a little back story for the card. But as time went by it seemed like Wizard was trying to create a narrative out of the cards, as if anyone cares about the generic fantasy world of MTG. Also I always thought that guy's fingers were melting in the Counterspell artwork. They made the spell effect the same color as his skin...
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Mar 3, 2011 23:13
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Bipedal Octopus posted:One stupid thing I miss about Magic in those days was the flavor text. I remember they used to use all sorts of sources for flavor text, like native american mythology, the bible, arabian proverbs, classical literature, etc. Or they would make up a little back story for the card. But as time went by it seemed like Wizard was trying to create a narrative out of the cards, as if anyone cares about the generic fantasy world of MTG. Despite being a loving Magic: the gathering novelization, Chainer's Torment is a legitimately entertaining book and I will defend its merits against any nay-sayers  I've read like five others and they were all abject crap
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Mar 4, 2011 01:11
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elpintogrande posted:Sorry, no, that is not sufficient. Full story. This girl I knew in high school moved into the apartment building I was living in, and later married this guy who the Steve character really reminds me of, but he had dark brown hair in an exquisite mullet. She approached me to teach her how to play Magic, and when I met him he was extremely envious of my deck. One time over a game of X-Com or something I jokingly told him I'd trade it for a night with his wife (this was back around when that dumb movie with Redford and Demi Moore in it made that topical). He took me up on it, and I lost a deck that I could have got a couple of grand for if I took my time selling it. Then the wife and I went to The City, hung out at the cheesy goth club, and then crashed at one of my co-worker's apartment. Basically made things a bit awkward and I'm pretty sure I didn't need to give up the deck to get the same results, but it makes a good story so it wasn't a total waste of cards.
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Mar 4, 2011 02:02
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ClearAirTurbulence posted:This girl I knew in high school moved into the apartment building I was living in, and later married this guy who the Steve character really reminds me of, but he had dark brown hair in an exquisite mullet. She approached me to teach her how to play Magic, and when I met him he was extremely envious of my deck. One time over a game of X-Com or something I jokingly told him I'd trade it for a night with his wife (this was back around when that dumb movie with Redford and Demi Moore in it made that topical). He took me up on it, and I lost a deck that I could have got a couple of grand for if I took my time selling it. Then the wife and I went to The City, hung out at the cheesy goth club, and then crashed at one of my co-worker's apartment. I'm unclear. Did you actually trade a magic card deck for someone's wife and then end up not sleeping with her?
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Mar 4, 2011 03:16
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That story sucks.
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Mar 8, 2011 03:27
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That was anti-climactic.
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Mar 8, 2011 19:35
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Booooooo. So basically you lost money for no real reason
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Mar 11, 2011 07:51
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Cat Army
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Miserable Maid posted:Booooooo. Yep, sounds like he lost allegedly TWO THOUSAND dollars to go on what seems like a horrible, awkward date with no payoff while the guy got the valuable deck and some time away from his chick. Yikes. Goony as gently caress.
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Mar 11, 2011 23:42
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neoboman posted:Yep, sounds like he lost allegedly TWO THOUSAND dollars to go on what seems like a horrible, awkward date with no payoff while the guy got the valuable deck and some time away from his chick. Yikes. Goony as gently caress. It wasn't completely pointless, but I realized after I wrote about it that it wasn't really that great a story and was nerdy as hell, at that point continuing it would only make it sound only slightly less pathetic at best, and much more pathetic at worst. The guy could be a goon for all I know, too, and there may not be enough guys trading wives for Magic cards to maintain anonymity.
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Mar 11, 2011 23:55
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Failed Cuck Wife creature Tap one basement. Your opponent must hand over all his cards in exchange for wife who cannot be tapped while in play.
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Mar 12, 2011 00:16
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At the beginning of your upkeep, if any player controls Shred of Dignity, remove Failed Cuck Wife from the game. I thought it was a good story. The best anecdotes end in an exchange of he listener's disappointment and the speaker's apologies, followed by a frank discussion of what went wrong. Golden. BoldFrankensteinMir fucked around with this message at 07:16 on Mar 13, 2011 |
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Mar 13, 2011 07:10
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:At the beginning of your upkeep, if any player controls Shred of Dignity, remove Failed Cuck Wife from the game. Nah it was a cock tease. He slipped it in like we were all gonna go "oh hey gently caress yeah man high to the five!" only for him to go "yeah... er, okay maybe I exaggerated." At that point he should have just lied. "Yup, that's what I said. I hosed a guys wife for a nice magic card deck. That's pretty much the story!"
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Mar 13, 2011 22:15
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He didn't even suggest that it was just sex, he suggested that he traded the cards for the wife. Her husband had owned her, and now she's owned by the Fungusaur, thanks to the exchange of collectible cards. "Yeah, she's the mother of my kids, and I guess she's still okay looking, but... whoa whoa whoa. Is that a mint condition Library of Alexandria!? HEY HONEY! YOU LIVE WITH THIS GUY NOW!"
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Mar 14, 2011 04:06
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I'm sorry but the implication was that "I traded my cards to have sex with this guy's wife" not "I traded my cards to awkwardly go out on a date with this girl and then... yep". That's not worth 2000 dollars. That's not even worth five dollars.
Viral Warfare fucked around with this message at 17:51 on Mar 20, 2011 |
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Mar 20, 2011 17:49
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Jethro Tull posted:I'm sorry but the implication was that "I traded my cards to have sex with this guy's wife" not "I traded my cards to awkwardly go out on a date with this girl and then... yep". That's not worth 2000 dollars. That's not even worth five dollars. I've spent more than that on awkward dates. insert rimshot here
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Mar 20, 2011 19:42
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Jethro Tull posted:I'm sorry but the implication was that "I traded my cards to have sex with this guy's wife" not "I traded my cards to awkwardly go out on a date with this girl and then... yep". That's not worth 2000 dollars. That's not even worth five dollars. Are you married, Mr. Tull? If so, I will trade you BOTH halves of the B.F.M. AND a mint condition Uncle Istvan for her to have dinner with Clear Air Turbulence. It's too genius an idea to fail twice.
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Mar 22, 2011 01:00
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Sounds like someone cast a counterspell on her black lotus
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Mar 26, 2011 20:54
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You cannot do it. You cannot tap the rear end card.
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Mar 28, 2011 15:59
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Axeface posted:I've spent more than that on awkward dates. There's a fine line between accurately describing an accurate date and comming across as the kind of person I realize I don't want to be. I've hosed up a few relationships and shouldn't celebrate anything that led to a break-up, whether I got my dick in a pussy or not.
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Mar 30, 2011 07:30
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Eh, it was just a bad shuffle. You can always mulligan- this ain't league play.
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Mar 30, 2011 23:16
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The latest WTF, DnD? got me thinking about the quantity of Rifts books that are made. I took a look at the Palladium web site to make an estimate of how much it would cost to get a copy of each of the books currently available. This is a back-of-the-envelope calculation, so don't rely on it. I included only books that seemed to be in the main Rifts series, and not products from the Rifts Miniatures line, novels, or the Rifts collectible card game. I came up with $2137.95 to own a thorough Rifts library. I don't have figures available for how much fun you can have with that, probably about $2400 worth.
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Apr 8, 2011 00:44
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'Zack: Only Palladium brings you game-critical and detailed information like sub-population statistics of bio-enhanced drug addicts in North America.' Rifts in a nutshell. Also, sweet, another "noooo!" joke, those get me every time for some reason, whether it's Zack or Steve.
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Apr 8, 2011 02:02
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I just caught the Juicer Uprising update, really loved it. You've said the D&D people seem to love WTF, DnD? Have you ever heard from Palladium? Kevin Siembeda seems like he has no sense of humor.
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Apr 13, 2011 18:12
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BerkerkLurk posted:I just caught the Juicer Uprising update, really loved it. Never Palladium, but I've heard from two different authors, who shall remain nameless, and both of them have had mixed feelings about writing for Rifts. Your perception seems fairly accurate.
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Apr 13, 2011 18:51
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Isn't he known for sending out cease-and-desists to anyone who tries to do things like port the RIFTS setting to another system? I remember hearing about an attempt to do that with the Mutants and Masterminds rules a few years back that he squashed, although it could just be hearsay.
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Apr 14, 2011 05:56
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Yeah, they're pretty heavy handed with the "NO CONVERSIONS!" policy. RIFTS conversions are hard to find on the 'net. Which is a shame since if you decoupled the crazy-rear end setting from the creaky and confusing system you could actually have a pretty good game.
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Apr 24, 2011 06:45
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Maxwell Lord posted:Yeah, they're pretty heavy handed with the "NO CONVERSIONS!" policy. RIFTS conversions are hard to find on the 'net. It'd be like Gamma World except exactly like Gamma World with no differences.
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Apr 27, 2011 21:56
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http://www.somethingawful.com/d/dungeons-and-dragons/magic-antiquities-arabian.php Candelabra of Tawnos definitely has lazy artwork, but it fetches lots of money. Not as much as this card, though (which also has bad artwork):  And you should have commented on Sage of Lat-Nam.  (That's a lot of text to say "Tap, Sacrifice an artifact: Draw a card.") Are you going to do Legends in the near future? That was the first expansion that Phil Foglio did art for.
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May 5, 2011 23:34
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So, the latest one still has the perfunctory references to American current events and politics that weigh down Zack Parson's writing. More importantly though, did Zack ever admit that Steve Sumner was his brainchild? Edit: Why does Tetravus only have three segments? Koos Breath fucked around with this message at 17:06 on May 6, 2011 |
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May 6, 2011 16:58
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