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Lixer posted:If neither of y'all want him at the wedding, or even like him, why even think of inviting him? Just because other people will give you crap about it? It's not their wedding. This is basically word-for-word what I was going to say. So yeah, uh, don't invite him. It's not worth potentially having your wedding ruined so that you don't catch flak from friends.
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May 6, 2011 17:56
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Yeah.. You're all right, I just don't know how to go about it. I mean, he seems like he's TRYING to be better, but I can never tell. Like, I have a lovely job situation right now, and they all know I'm hunting, and he keeps trying to throw me leads, but they're all terrible options. One recently was an overnight custodian at a hospital 45 minutes away. But then he gets offended when I'm not jumping for joy at the mere mention of it. I just don't want our decision to not invite him make the circle ostracize me if he has more of their ear than I do, because they don't seem to see the same side of him that I do.
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May 6, 2011 18:14
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This is weird, but I'm not sure where else to ask it. I was asked to be a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding on New Year's Eve. I'd like to wear a fun pair of heels but I'm already much taller than the bride and the other bridesmaids. Would it be rude to wear heels of any sort and make the difference more noticeable or is it dumb to even worry given that I'm taller than all of them anyway?
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May 6, 2011 18:54
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Egad! posted:Would it be rude to wear heels of any sort and make the difference more noticeable or is it dumb to even worry given that I'm taller than all of them anyway? I think you can just ask the bride what she thinks - "Hey Cousin, I'd love to wear some fabulous super tall heels in your wedding, but I don't want to mess with your line up if you've got one in mind..." She'll either say "Doesn't matter, go for it" or "Actually, some modest low wedges would fit a little better with what I'm putting together". Why worry when you can just ask? ...unless you think she'll give you the answer you don't want to hear  TShields posted:Yeah.. You're all right, I just don't know how to go about it. I'd say simply don't invite. If anyone asks - "We just weren't able to invite everyone we wanted to, you know how weddings can be". I wouldn't start going into long explanations to friends if anything you said would make your life difficult if it got back to him. Knockknees fucked around with this message at 20:53 on May 6, 2011 |
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May 6, 2011 20:49
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Knockknees posted:I think you can just ask the bride what she thinks - "Hey Cousin, I'd love to wear some fabulous super tall heels in your wedding, but I don't want to mess with your line up if you've got one in mind..." She'll either say "Doesn't matter, go for it" or "Actually, some modest low wedges would fit a little better with what I'm putting together". Why worry when you can just ask? I really did not think of that  Thanks!
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May 6, 2011 21:30
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Here's the kicker- I honestly forgot all about this, it was like 5 years ago.. I was a groomsman at his wedding. My fiance was a bridesmaid. I can't believe I forgot. This is getting more awkward by the minute..
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May 6, 2011 22:58
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TShields posted:Here's the kicker- I honestly forgot all about this, it was like 5 years ago.. I was a groomsman at his wedding. My fiance was a bridesmaid. I can't believe I forgot. This is getting more awkward by the minute.. Well, yeah, but they're not together anymore, right? And you did say that he's being a total poo poo to her, trying to do everything he can do to make things hard on her? I still think you just need to not invite him, and like Knockknees said, just have a vague answer of, "yeah, weddings are stressful..." if your circle of friends question you.
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May 7, 2011 00:47
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That was also your Maid-of-Honor's wedding, correct? If she had brothers they were probably groomsmen but they have no obligation to invite their sister's ex-husband to be at their weddings. You and your fiancée chose his ex-wife's side in the divorce, it is completely acceptable for you not to invite him. If you're concerned with preserving some kind of friendship with this guy, invite him if you want. But why do you want to preserve a friendship with someone you neither like nor care about? PopRocks fucked around with this message at 00:54 on May 7, 2011 |
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May 7, 2011 00:51
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PopRocks posted:That was also your Maid-of-Honor's wedding, correct? If she had brothers they were probably groomsmen but they have no obligation to invite their sister's ex-husband to be at their weddings. It's more preserving the sanctity of the group dynamic. Even though we chose her side in the divorce, my friends chose his. Essentially, it went like this: Married way too quick, once they're hitched she sees what an asshat he really is. She doesn't get enough lovin' in the bedroom because he'd rather play World of Warcraft. She finds lovin' somewhere else. Divorce. She runs to us, he runs to them. I can't 100% support her personally because she did cheat.. but at the same time, he hosed up the relationship because she's a cool chick and just married the wrong guy. After talking to another member of our little circle, I realize the picture of her he's painted for them, so in letting her win this battle, I appear to be siding with the enemy.. But then, if I do invite him, then my wife to be feels the same way. Maybe if he can behave himself it won't be so bad..
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May 7, 2011 01:42
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TShields posted:It's more preserving the sanctity of the group dynamic. Even though we chose her side in the divorce, my friends chose his. NO gently caress HIM. You don't like him; your wife doesn't like him; he's pretty likely to cause drama with your maid of honor... He has no business being at your wedding. If you're soooo afraid of seeming like you're on the bad side, then tell them your wife made you not invite him because she's afraid of drama and BRIDEZILLAS AM I RITE It sounds like neither of them is really an awesome specimen, but seriously, don't stress over this. It's your wedding and you don't have to invite people who suck.* *except family.
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May 7, 2011 03:04
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TShields posted:so in letting her win this battle, I appear to be siding with the enemy.. But then, if I do invite him, then my wife to be feels the same way. Maybe if he can behave himself it won't be so bad.. The only person you should be worried about looking like you're siding with is your wife - because you're on the same team.
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May 7, 2011 03:35
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Tai-Pan posted:On the bright side, I have purchased $2,6000 in wine and alcohol. For 70 people. One helluva party
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May 7, 2011 04:20
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Eggplant Wizard posted:NO gently caress HIM. You don't like him; your wife doesn't like him; he's pretty likely to cause drama with your maid of honor... He has no business being at your wedding. If you're soooo afraid of seeming like you're on the bad side, then tell them your wife made you not invite him because she's afraid of drama and BRIDEZILLAS AM I RITE The Mod has spoken. Thanks guys, I'm taking your advice and pinning it on her. He knows she hates him anyway, and she doesn't really give a crap about that particular circle of friends anyway- (Confession time- they're my Dungeons and Dragons buddies), so it's all good I suppose.
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May 7, 2011 07:14
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TShields posted:The Mod has spoken. Thanks guys, I'm taking your advice and pinning it on her. He knows she hates him anyway, and she doesn't really give a crap about that particular circle of friends anyway- (Confession time- they're my Dungeons and Dragons buddies), so it's all good I suppose. Is your wife-to-be okay with taking the blame for this? I mean, even if she doesn't like that circle of people, she may not want this all placed on her. It just seems, from what you've posted, that you're wanting an excuse to invite him (and then pray that he "behaves himself"). In ugly divorces, friends are often forced to choose a side. Some people can understand this and forgive those who choose the other side, especially if they aren't particularly close to the divorcing couple. Either way, it sucks. If your fiance is okay with his non-invitation being pinned on her, that's awesome. If she's not though, it may just be best to step up and take the blame, if anyone is even looking for someone to blame, as I'm assuming their messy divorce isn't a secret. You can give a vague explanation to people, and if it's someone you really care about, maybe offer up a more specific (but still as non-sided as possible) reasoning. Either way, good luck. Drama like this is so unfortunate, especially on your wedding day.
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May 9, 2011 16:49
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So I suppose going to start reading and following this thread now. My boyfriend asked me to marry him in Verona, Italy 2 weeks ago.  We've been together for 5.5 years and living together for a good portion of that. His cousin is getting married next year so we figure we will set ours for May or June 2013. Is there anything we can do yet other than tour venues and make our invite list?I don't want a church wedding because we are very non religious but his family is very religious and I don't want to offend them so I think an outdoorish wedding would be a good compromise. All the Seattle 'nice' parks like the arboretum and Woodland Park rose garden don't allow tents and tables so i'm sort of confused about doing a single location outdoors though. We both have family that would be coming from all over the US so 1 venue would be preferable. Wedding dress: You other ladies that went to Wai Ching inspired me. I work like 5 blocks from Pioneer Square in Seattle so i'm definitely going to look there first. The Xenia dress is lovely.
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May 9, 2011 21:24
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Heh well, before I could even mention it to her, she took matters into her own hands and sent him a Facebook message about how she didn't want him there and his ex didn't want to be in on the same block as him and how he's an rear end in a top hat and really just unloaded on him. She told me about it after it was sent, and he sent me a text saying he didn't want to get in the way and wished us the best and said he'd never bring it up again, so problem solved I suppose!
TShields fucked around with this message at 21:37 on May 9, 2011 |
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May 9, 2011 21:34
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Tigntink posted:All the Seattle 'nice' parks like the arboretum and Woodland Park rose garden don't allow tents and tables so i'm sort of confused about doing a single location outdoors though. We both have family that would be coming from all over the US so 1 venue would be preferable. If you want to have your wedding at the rose garden, you can do your reception in the actual zoo. That way your guests only have to deal with a short walk to get from one area to the next. They have a lot of really great choices for both fancier and more casual fun gatherings. We were seriously considering it for our wedding but the catering costs ended up being too high for our budget. Getting married in the butterfly garden and reception with the otters...oh what could have been :3
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May 10, 2011 04:59
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Kitten Kisses posted:If you want to have your wedding at the rose garden, you can do your reception in the actual zoo. That way your guests only have to deal with a short walk to get from one area to the next. They have a lot of really great choices for both fancier and more casual fun gatherings. We were seriously considering it for our wedding but the catering costs ended up being too high for our budget. Getting married in the butterfly garden and reception with the otters...oh what could have been :3 I mentioned the zoo to the future MIL and already got a Zoo doo joke 
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May 10, 2011 06:38
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Aww, well if it's something you are legit interested in maybe take her with you on a tour of the place? My mom was super against the idea when I first brought it up because she thought it was super tacky but after we actually went and looked at it she thought it was an awesome idea. They also have some places that aren't directly connected to the inside of the zoo, a couple are more park-like in setting and there is also the food pavillion area that looked like a pretty cool indoor venue. There are also a few seattle area parks that have a grange hall or other on location building you can use for your reception in addition to the ceremony space in the park. For a May/June wedding I would really recommend finding a place that has some sort of indoor option you can switch to for at least the reception if you are having your wedding in WA. You don't want you and your guests to be miserable all day/evening if the weather decides not to cooperate and spending the week before your wedding freaking out over something as uncontrollable as the weather sucks.
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May 10, 2011 09:20
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Yah that is definitely why I wanted a tent or gazebo option available. I know Carkeek park has some shelters and some of the other big ones. I'm also considering like... Salty's or Rays Boathouse or a place nextdoor to it because it is on the water/beach. Oooo I should talk to the SAM I love the sculpture park and they also have an indoor area. We aren't rich, maybe middle class for living in the Seattle city limits. I'm figuring we can use a stock vestment which would get us to the local average cost. Edit: Just checked the Sculpture park fees - totally doable and cheaper than anywhere else i've seen other than the city parks and stuff out on the plateau. silicone thrills fucked around with this message at 15:01 on May 10, 2011 |
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May 10, 2011 14:56
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Hey guys. I haven't had much luck with Google, so I was hoping you guys could help me. I'm living in London England at the moment, and will be heading back to Canada in July to be a bridesmaid for one of my oldest friends. Awesome. She's even thoughtfully decided that since we're all a bit spread out, she would buy the fabric and we could all go get our own dresses made (with a couple guidelines, of course). Anyway, I've got the fabric, and have begun calling around to see prices, timelines etc. Turns out, the cheapest place I've called so far is 220 pounds. My budget's a bit tight at the moment, especially because I'll have to fly home, buy her a gift, etc. Has anyone else near here had a dress made for something like this? Does anyone have recommendations for dress makers? Am I just gonna have to suck it up and cough up the money? Thanks.
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May 10, 2011 17:04
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London has some kind of Chinatown, right?
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May 10, 2011 18:59
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Tigntink posted:Our lovely Pacific NW Weather Have you checked out any state parks? I'm across the Sound from you, so I'm not here with a specific place in hand, but that could be a good lower-cost option and a lot of them either have a building available or will let you do tents/pavilions. We're having ours here: http://www.parks.wa.gov/parks/?selectedpark=Kitsap%20Memorial at the end of July, and part of the reason we picked it is the Log Hall - if the weather really sucks, there's enough space to have everyone inside. Here's a list of WA state park day-use sites: http://www.parks.wa.gov/dayuseplaces/
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May 11, 2011 16:18
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Juniper posted:Have you checked out any state parks? I'm across the Sound from you, so I'm not here with a specific place in hand, but that could be a good lower-cost option and a lot of them either have a building available or will let you do tents/pavilions. I've actually just put St. Edwards State Park http://www.parks.wa.gov/parks/?selectedpark=Saint%20Edward on my list. It has a shut down catholic monastery on its grounds and an indoor dance hall area. $1000 a day Daystar Indian Cultural Center at Discovery park is now on my list too. $1200 for a 5 hour block The Olympic Sculpture Park has an indoor safe area too. $5000 for the day(?). The next sunny weekend we get my fiancee and I will hit a bunch. I'm sure ill find more parks to put on the list. I only want to do Seattle, the east side or the northside. His whole family lives on the Kitsap Peninsula and I like to make them come over to the "scary, crime filled" side of the water (their words).
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May 11, 2011 17:47
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Ten days until our big day.
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May 11, 2011 18:05
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Ten days here too.  GLITBL!
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May 12, 2011 00:31
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Seventeen days  I've decided to mark the 8 people we still haven't heard from after calling, leaving messages, texting, emails, etc., as 'no's. Seriously, it's a piece of paper, it wasn't that hard to mail back, and it's just kind of rude not to get back to us or our parents or anyone.
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May 12, 2011 04:29
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I proposed a month ago. That was easy compared to all the logistics ahead. We are considering a reception at the planetarium. However, in addition to traditional food via buffet, we would like to have Indian food. Here's the catch, the planetarium has a fixed list of approved caterers that have little diversity in their menus. I'll start calling the caterers individually but does anyone know if a caterers often have options to serve outside food? Say, I have Indian food made at a local restaurant and have the caterer serve it for a "corkage" fee in addition to the traditional food they would prepare?
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May 12, 2011 04:47
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Tigntink posted:I've actually just put St. Edwards State Park http://www.parks.wa.gov/parks/?selectedpark=Saint%20Edward on my list. It has a shut down catholic monastery on its grounds and an indoor dance hall area. $1000 a day Ooh, I thought about looking at that one, but since we live over here and so do both sets of parents, not dealing with the ferry made sense. Based on that quote, I find your family-in-law greatly entertaining. I hope it's sunny for you soon! We got lucky with the weather the first day we set out for venue scouting, and one of my photos of the view from Kitsap Memorial State Park is now the photo-side of our response postcards.
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May 12, 2011 07:20
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EventHorizon posted:Here's the catch, the planetarium has a fixed list of approved caterers that have little diversity in their menus. This is the most annoying thing ever, why do they do this? Are they all just buddy buddy with these caterers?
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May 12, 2011 07:27
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EventHorizon posted:I proposed a month ago. That was easy compared to all the logistics ahead. We are considering a reception at the planetarium. However, in addition to traditional food via buffet, we would like to have Indian food. Here's the catch, the planetarium has a fixed list of approved caterers that have little diversity in their menus. Talk to the Venue, not the caterers. The planetarium may prefer to allow a caterer not on their approved list than lose your booking. They have contracts with caterers so that they've got reliable companies who are familiar with the venue so everything goes smoothly, but if the private event staff at the venue are any good at all they should be able to figure something out for you. Now the trick may be finding decent Indian food chefs plus service, in which case you may be back to square one with the catering company, hiring one of their approved companies for service and getting the food from an awesome Indian restaurant. If they have a company that just provides waitstaff and bartenders. PopRocks fucked around with this message at 07:47 on May 12, 2011 |
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May 12, 2011 07:45
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I've recently been thinking about asking my girlfriend to marry me in the not too near future and had been doing some brief research on diamonds. I had some questions that I would rather ask to someone not trying to take my money before I go looking. My apologies if this stuff has been asked before, but this thread is too dense to go completely through. I've always been the type of guy to buy top of the line stuff, as I'm usually willing to spend a little extra for quality. So, naturally, this tendency has extended into researching rings and diamonds. When I'm looking at these websites I tend to set all the filters to nearly the highest settings, and I'm wondering how necessary this actually is. Is there actually a notable difference between an IF and, say, a VS diamond? Or is the color much different between a D and an F? How low in these categories can you go until you will actually notice a difference? I'd prefer a better looking diamond over a large one, but the price is significantly higher with the upper end quality parameters. I haven't yet gone to look at diamonds in person so I can't answer these questions myself. And how does the process of buying diamonds online work? Do they ship them to you? And if I want to but a diamond and band from separate sources, can I just take them in to a jeweler and have it mounted? My girlfriend has casually pointed out a certain band she likes, but I want to buy a loose diamond from a place with less markup.
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May 12, 2011 14:19
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Juniper posted:Ooh, I thought about looking at that one, but since we live over here and so do both sets of parents, not dealing with the ferry made sense. Hopefully 2013 is an el nino year. Ill definitely have to remember to bring my camera. I wasn't even thinking about postcards for rsvps.
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May 12, 2011 14:21
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penisclaw posted:Is there actually a notable difference between an IF and, say, a VS diamond? Or is the color much different between a D and an F? How low in these categories can you go until you will actually notice a difference? I'm in the trade dealing in fancier pieces so I answer this question often. The difference between a diamond with IF grading and VS1 grading is microscopic. Literally, you can't tell the difference without a microscope. We encourage all of our customers to purchase no higher than VS1 (unless they're buying specifically as an asset class). One caveat is that in the case of resale the higher clarities typically perform much better due to their rarity and constant market demand. Visual difference between D and F? Essentially nonexistant to the untrained eye. Even under the best lighting conditions I could be no more exact than to say "D to E" or "E to F." The only exception being a Golconda diamond. If the highest diamond color is 'D' then a Golconda looks like a 'C.' They're very difficult to describe, but it's like an otherworldly color of transparent white. They are exceptionally rare. Any jeweler will combine your separate purchased pieces for you.
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May 12, 2011 14:51
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JohnnyRnR posted:I'm in the trade dealing in fancier pieces so I answer this question often. Thanks for the quick response. So you say no higher than VS1? How much lower than that is safe to go before you start to notice a difference? I guess I can lower my standards for this and get a bigger diamond.
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May 12, 2011 16:25
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I have a D clarity VS2 and i'm an artist and I can't see a drat thing wrong with it. I work in an office typing half the day so I stare at it a lot. (Just for reference)
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May 12, 2011 17:02
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That's a relative question. I have seen beautiful I2 diamonds that require a loupe to find the inclusions, and I've seen ugly VS2 diamonds. The grades are based on the characteristics of the inclusions and not their appearance. It bears repeating: Diamond clarity grades have nothing to do with the appearance of the diamond. In the olden days diamonds were basically sold in three categories: 1. Flawless - No inclusions visible with a loupe 2. Slightly Included - Inclusions visible with a loupe only 3. Imperfect - Inclusions visible with the naked eye Diamond clarities above VS1 solely exist as a form of price discrimination. What extra value does a diamond have if the inclusions can only be found with 30x magnification instead of 10x? Ultimately a diamond's quality is a matter of aesthetics, and there is no practical reason for higher clarity grades than the naked eye can see.
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May 12, 2011 19:46
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PopRocks posted:Talk to the Venue, not the caterers. The planetarium may prefer to allow a caterer not on their approved list than lose your booking. They have contracts with caterers so that they've got reliable companies who are familiar with the venue so everything goes smoothly, but if the private event staff at the venue are any good at all they should be able to figure something out for you. Thanks for the response! I'll see if maybe the planetarium will be more responsive.
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May 13, 2011 05:00
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Tigntink posted:Hopefully 2013 is an el nino year. I love the postcards - I'm not an artist or a terribly good photographer, but I think they came out really well. I just ran watercolor paper through my deskjet and then ran it again for the "coming? great! tell us all your food allergies" side. I made our invitations too, flat cards with another sheet of paper glued on, didn't use inner envelopes, and was able to use one 44 cent stamp on each invitation with room to spare. The only issue I'm having with the postcards is with friends telling me yes, they're coming, but they can't send the response card back yet because they're using it as a bookmark.
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May 13, 2011 05:43
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I just got the permit in the mail to get married at the Jefferson Memorial grounds in DC on August 15th! We moved to the area in January, though he's been here since last August when he started a job at the IRS in the district. We've been engaged for 3 years, but kept pushing it off since money stuff was in the way. If you want one of the NPS wedding locations in DC, the base is just $50 to process the paperwork...nice and cheap. After all this time, our parents finally caved and feel fine with letting us have a non-church, intimate wedding. They still want it to be blessed in the church in the future, so I'm fine with that. Now to hope that it won't be downpouring on the day since you aren't allowed to have tents and stuff on park grounds.
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May 13, 2011 23:27
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