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deviledseraphim posted:I have seasonal depression issues and a boatload of psych issues too, so I certainly think people with broken brains should be able to have kids. But, if you only think you can handle having a baby during a few months of the year and are making joking but not so joking remarks about drowning a baby in a bathtub, then yeah, maybe you should wait to conceive until you have your issues better under control. Also having a baby at ALL during winter is going to be horribly stressful, doesn't matter if they are 3 months or 12 months. My PPD really erupted when my baby was 4 months old, which was actually in the middle of summer. I didn't say that I thought I could only handle a baby during part of the year at all. (This may have been a misunderstanding due to my wording, when I said "having a baby" I meant "giving birth to a baby" and not "having a baby in my possession/care") I said I was trying to make sure that I don't end up with PPD during the time that I'm already having seasonal depression, especially since being a person who already has problems with depression is going to increase my risk of getting PPD. I'm well aware that I can develop PPD at any time of year, but since there's a general time period when the risk is greatest, it made sense to me to make sure we carefully time this thing to minimize the risk. I'd rather plan for worse-case-scenarios and be over-prepared than just hope that things go well, which is why I'm micro-managing things like my conception date, because I'm making sure that I take as many factors into account as possible, and try to stack the deck in my favor in any way I can. And my depression is as managed as it can get until they develop some new treatments. There isn't anything more that anyone can do, (barring maybe ECT, which has too many risks and not enough proof of efficacy for me to be willing to undergo it). I've had a solid 25 years of treatment, lots of which was through one of the top 10 psych hospitals in the US. I'm not one of those people who got an antidepressant once from their GP and maybe a month of therapy before giving up. We have a long-term plan to move to a state where winter doesn't really happen, but we've been working on that for 6 year now and my husband hasn't been able to find a secure job in those areas yet. So until someone invents a new miracle cure, I can either put my life (and my husband's life) on hold and just look out the window wistfully as I let life pass me by, or I can do what I can to try to live a somewhat normal life. Option two means that I have to take things more slowly and carefully than "normal" people, and that I need to spend a lot of extra time and effort planning, coordinating and building up layers of support that other people don't even have to think about, but at least I'm trying to do something with my life instead of just deciding that I'm too broken do anything. Twatty Seahag posted:I don't think people with mental illness should be forcibly child-free but I find it really off-putting to make a joke like that especially when you have depression issues. PPD is extremely serious and even women who have never had any issues are susceptible to it. poo poo, even dads can have pretty serious baby blues. I'm very aware how serious it is. I'm aware that it's so serious that some women drown their babies in bathtubs because of it. I'm not worried about some boo-hooing, I'm worried about serious poo poo. Which is why I'm talking about it and trying to find any way that I can to avoid being those people. You could even say that I'm even more aware than most women of how serious it is, since I've been working on ways to try to avoid it for over a year before I'm planning to give birth. If that doesn't show that I take it seriously and am trying to be responsible and prudent, I don't know what does.
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Jun 12, 2011 04:09
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That does sound a lot better and thought out. Good luck to you.
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Jun 12, 2011 04:37
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Oh my god you guys! Saturday I took a pregnancy test and it came up negative. I figured I just jumped the gun and it was just going to be a long cycle. I'd had cycles up to 34 days before and Saturday was only Day 31. But yesterday, which was Day 34, still nothing. Not even spotting, which I always get the day before my periods. So I took one last night. I know I should have waiting until morning, but I was curious. It was a very faint positive. Because of this thread and the TCOYF book, I knew that there are no false positives. I was freaking out!!! My husband was already asleep so I couldn't tell him. This morning, I took two more tests, both clearly positive. I'M PREGNANT!! HOLY poo poo! We've been trying for a year and a half and were both fairly certain it wasn't going to happen and BAM! I'm excited and a bit nauseous! I haven't told my husband yet. Sunday is Father's Day. I'm going to tell him then. But because he's really aware of my cycles too, he will suspect already. So I'm going to leave my box of tampons on the counter and a few in the trash to lead him off the trail. Is that mean? I don't care, he's gonna be so surprised!
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Jun 14, 2011 17:02
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Bodnoirbabe posted:I'M PREGNANT!! HOLY poo poo! Congratulations, Secret Santee! I hope the two of you have a complication-free and happy pregnancy!
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Jun 14, 2011 17:57
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That's awesome! Congratulations! Hop on over to the other thread!
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Jun 15, 2011 00:35
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Bodnoirbabe posted:I haven't told my husband yet. Sunday is Father's Day. I'm going to tell him then. But because he's really aware of my cycles too, he will suspect already. So I'm going to leave my box of tampons on the counter and a few in the trash to lead him off the trail. Is that mean? I don't care, he's gonna be so surprised! I think that's awesome, hopefully your husband has enough of a sense of humor that he'll get a kick out of it too. Congrats!
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Jun 15, 2011 01:33
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Congrats!!!
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Jun 15, 2011 01:49
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So i've been following this thread for a while. My wife has pcos and has been having a terrible time. She recently lost a bunch of weight and her cycles improved but she has very weak ovulation. She started taking metformin about 4 months ago and it has helped overall. she bought TCOYF and follows the thing religiously. this last week she has been having crazy mood swings as she normally does these days (her doctor says she has pmdd). She took the progesterone test this week and it was really low (4.78) for where she expected to be. The dr said that she needs to do clomid to strengthen the ovulation and improve progesterone. This morning she flew off the handle at me about using 3 paper plates because they were stuck together in the stack, flipped me off and refused to carpool with me to work. We made up in the parking lot, but she has been a crying mess. So there I am, minding my own business mowing the lawn this evening when she comes running out of the house at me like a bull seeing red. In fact, not red.... but pink. Dollar Store test, Internet Cheapie, and First Response all confirm that I am owed a Father's Day gift. Even though I've been lurking around, I've been following the stories of everyone on here and relaying details to her. Don't give up hope ladies. This was the 5th cycle since we've been trying hard, as opposed to casually not preventing. It's a fair trade. She gets a baby, and I got to buy an iPad.
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Jun 17, 2011 05:44
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otter posted:
Oh goodness. Yesterday I flew off the handle with my husband because he said he was closer to guessing the total at the grocery store if we did things in a 'Price is Right' way and that I was wrong (stupid, right?). I mean, I gave him the silent treatment on the way home, stormed up stairs and let him unload and put everything away, ignored him when he came up to talk to me.. Then came downstairs 20 minutes later to find him gone, started bawling in the kitchen.. He walks in holding a milkshake for me and I start crying even harder. Seriously, what the hell. And for the past 3 days I've been running a low grade fever. It could just be a sinus cold coming on because at random I'm stuffy, or it's running or I'm sneezing. I'm expected to start my period in 4 days though and I'm having some light cramping REALLY low. But I also started taking Metformin (for PCOS) about a month ago so it could just all be fluctuating hormones. I don't know. I hate getting my hopes up. It doesn't help that everyone keeps picking apart everything I say and going 'Sounds like a pregnancy symptom'. I guess we'll find out soon.
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Jun 18, 2011 12:15
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That, combined with ridiculously sore breasts, is just how I felt too, especially the feeling overheated... Not to get you super excited, since I know at this point, pretty much every symptom means PREGNANT! OH WAIT OR PERIOD.  I was taking progesterone and clomid too, for what it's worth.
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Jun 18, 2011 14:57
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Mine are sore also. This is new for me too, because this isn't a normal 'symptom' of mine. But every period I have after coming off the pill 8 months ago has been a little different, so it could be that too. I just don't want to get my hopes up any more. Also, I need to vent. I'm pretty much over people 'confiding' in me about their secret pregnancies, or how they got prescriptions of Clomid by lying to their Dr about charting or the length of time they've been actively trying. And if one more person on Facebook pops up with a 'Surprise, I'm pregnant' post without knowing the father or having a stable place to live, I will scream. My husband and I just moved to the most fertile place on earth (or so it seems. Seriously, everyone on Guam is pregnant or has kids) and I want to have babies and have them experience this, even if they'll never remember it. I'm so tired of people saying 'but you're young, you have time' or 'why are you stressing it, it will happen when it happens'. I HATE those responses. Hate them. I just want to get pregnant and feel normal and like I'm not completely jacked up.
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Jun 18, 2011 16:49
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That was the worst! We were 26 and 27 when we started, and everyone said how young we were.... guess what, it didn't help, and every month it didn't work, I just freaked out that we were that much older. And lying to a doctor has to be a new low!
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Jun 19, 2011 05:47
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The "Oh, you're young, why are you worried?" comments grated on me the worst--especially when we discovered that I was rarely ovulating. It doesn't matter what my age is; I can't get pregnant if I don't ovulate! I hope the Metformin helps you out--good luck! Also, your husband sounds like a great guy .
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Jun 19, 2011 07:11
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My husband and I are 24 and 25, so we're not THAT young. I mean, young is like 18 and wanting to have a baby. At 24 and 25, it's not like we've just graduated high school or something. I mean, granted, we still have 'plenty of time', yes. But.. I don't want to end up 35 and finally being like 'There, am I old enough to worry about it?'. And you know the one person who really gets on my nerves with it? My mother. She has PCOS and I figured she'd be the one to be kind of understanding.. But, she can't understand. She got pregnant with me by missing 1 birth control pill. She got pregnant with my sister 4 years later the first month after coming off the pill again. She keeps saying 'Heartless, how do you KNOW you'll have problems conceiving, I didn't? It could be just as easy for you!'. Yeah, it could. But, it hasn't been. I've missed countless pills and been off it for 8 months now. I think the real reason she keeps telling me to 'relax' is because she doesn't want me having a kid in another country. She's worried she won't be able to bond with it or be a 'real grandma' or something. I'm trying not to be negative or stressed out, but I hate this waiting game. I've been cramping on and off already, not as bad as last time, but just enough to notice. I hope the next 4 days fly so I can either start or be late and try not to get excited. Who am I kidding, I'll get excited. I want to pee on a stick.
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Jun 19, 2011 09:21
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The Heartless posted:My husband and I are 24 and 25, so we're not THAT young. I mean, young is like 18 and wanting to have a baby. At 24 and 25, it's not like we've just graduated high school or something. I mean, granted, we still have 'plenty of time', yes. But.. I don't want to end up 35 and finally being like 'There, am I old enough to worry about it?'. Posts like this make me freak out a bit. I'm 28, my husband is 29, and we're going to be waiting about another year before we start trying. When I see posts from people your age wondering if they are waiting too long, I begin to freak out myself over our ages. sheri fucked around with this message at 20:20 on Jun 19, 2011 |
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Jun 19, 2011 17:47
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sheri posted:Posts like this make me freak out a bit. I'm 28, my husband and 29, and we're going to be waiting about another year before we start trying. When I see posts from people your age wondering if they are waiting too long, I begin to freak out myself over our ages. I felt much the same way-- I was 31 when I had my girl, who is now 14 months. But honestly, it's not a bad thing at all. My husband has a great job and I get to do what I wanted to do the most, which is stay home with our sweetheart. If we'd had a baby years ago, I don't think we would have been as stable.
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Jun 19, 2011 18:54
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I think it's not so much that 30 is this ridiculous age--it's just painful when you're younger and there's actually a medical condition that people ignore because 'you're so young.' I'm pretty sure we got told everything on this list! http://open.salon.com/blog/jeanette_d/2009/08/28/top_10_things_not_to_say_to_someone_experiencing_infertility
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Jun 19, 2011 19:08
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The Heartless posted:I'm trying not to be negative or stressed out, but I hate this waiting game. I've been cramping on and off already, not as bad as last time, but just enough to notice. I hope the next 4 days fly so I can either start or be late and try not to get excited. Who am I kidding, I'll get excited. I want to pee on a stick. FWIW, I get really tell-tale signs of an oncoming period (cramps, sore tits), and my early pregnancy symptoms felt almost exactly the same. After these signs went on for a couple of days instead of resulting in a period, I took a pregnancy test and got a solid positive. Just wanted to let you know what my experience was, since it was different for me than what I'd heard other people say. Good luck!
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Jun 19, 2011 21:38
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Sheri, I didn't mean to freak you out at all. My husband and I originally planned for around 30 to start but things have changed and fallen into place different, plus with the added bonus of legit medical issues that cause infertility we decided to not wait. Just in case it doesn't happen by say, 30, at that point we can start looking at other options like ivf or even adoption if it comes down to it. Everyone has their reasons for when they think is the right time and age and we just think now is our time. I think if I didn't have pcos I wouldn't feel like my time is running out so much. If I ovulated normally and was otherwise healthy, we might wait maybe another year or two. But where we're at now feels right for us to start trying. The Young Marge, thanks! I'm still getting used to normal periods after 6 straight years on the pill and sometimes I don't know if this is all normal now that I'm not adding or supressing or changing my hormones. On birth control I never cramped. Last month was the first period I had ever had accompanying cramps with and I thought for sure I'd keel over. This time they're real slight but I know it's not uncommon to cramp before hand. Here's to hoping they're actual symptoms!
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Jun 20, 2011 00:07
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I was also certain that I was getting my period with the cramps I got two days prior to my positive test. I had all the same symptoms. I took the test just for fun and I was beyond surprised when I got two dark lines on my test. So there aren't really always definite symptoms that are totally different from regular period symptoms.
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Jun 20, 2011 23:20
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First, thanks to everyone for the congratulations. Second, I really hope you get pregnant soon, Heartless. You sound like a really good person and so does your husband! I was very close to heading down the road you're on, so I don't envy your position. It's very trying and emotional and I hope it comes out right for you guys. I can't believe how rude people can be about getting knocked up. My husband and I were trying for a year and 3 months before we conceived, and that was using TCOYF for about 8 of those months. Every day someone would ask "Are you pregnant?" "When are you going to have a baby?" I would just simply answer "It's a work in progress." That usually shut them down. Actually my sister asked me once "Are you and Hans doing anything to get pregnant?" I looked at her oddly and said "Yeah, we're trying this thing called sex. It's pretty great." It's really non of their business and if you do choose to share the information with them, they shouldn't be so rude about it. Makes me mad.
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Jun 21, 2011 16:28
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So my wife peed on a stick and I think it's positive. It's a First Response test and the line closest to the tip (test line?) is much brighter than the line closest to the handle (control line?), which is pretty much reverse to what it shows on the box. The control line is pretty faint in comparison. Looking online it says that this is possible but it others mention poo poo like evap lines. It's a little odd that our family doc won't do a blood test. When we called in for one the nurse said that the home tests rarely showed a false positive and we should consider ourselves in the family way and make an appointment with a OB. I'm posting this as a "yay me" more than anything else. The wife unit and I have been trying for our second for about 2 years after taking more than 4 for the first one. Her cycle has always been screwy with up to 3 weeks late at times which made planning hit or miss not to mention lots of failed tests. Long story short she was scheduled for clomid (which is how we got knocked up the first time) but we put it on hold for a while and went from actively trying to a more "come what may" stance. This morning we counted the days since her last cycle and it's been like two months, which is about 10 days more than her maximum late date. I guess the plus side to this is we only need to wait another few weeks before we can tell people.
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Jun 21, 2011 17:58
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Your doctor is right that false positives are exceedingly rare. But, if you're still unsure, take a few more tests from different brands.
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Jun 21, 2011 18:46
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Fire In The Disco posted:Your doctor is right that false positives are exceedingly rare. But, if you're still unsure, take a few more tests from different brands. Word. I used one that would either say PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT. gently caress trying to decipher lines!
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Jun 21, 2011 19:41
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Digital test says that she's up the stick. Confirmation is good!
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Jun 21, 2011 23:04
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Congrats! I took eight tests before deciding they were all legit positives. They all had two dark lines so I think subconsciously maybe I just wanted to pee on a stick.
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Jun 22, 2011 01:39
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Still trying not to get my hopes up, but when I woke up this morning and my period hadn't started, I did kind of smile. I mean, it could come at any point today. It could decide to be loving with me and come tomorrow. Or next week. That's the fun thing with PCOS. But, either way, it's supposed to start today. I've been tracking for the past 6 months and they've been incredibly consistent, which I think is because I low carb now. I'm still having weird symptoms. The low grade fever has happened 5 nights in a row now. And it happens around the same time every night. Between about 8:30-9:00pm. It's well after I've ate dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, before I take any of my nightly vitamins and metformin and I'm just sitting on the couch watching some TV with my husband. Lastnight I finally got my husband to say 'Okay, you're right' about this. The first couple of nights he was like 'It's just because your hands are cold that you feel warm'. When I started actually taking my temperature, he was like 'yeah, but the thermometer could be off'. Lastnight I was like 'Feel my head' and he did. I could tell his hands were warm, but I was way warmer. Within an hour or so it went away. Just like every other night. My areolas are also changing color. They're normally light enough that you can't even see them. I even asked my husband 'Have you ever noticed my areola's?' and he was like 'No, unless they're super light, but I could just be distracted by boobs'. Haha. Either way, yesterday I went to go get a shower and I caught a glimpse in the mirror while undressing and they were definitely noticeable. I, again, showed my husband (to make sure I wasn't go crazy) and he said 'Yeah, they weren't like the last week'. They don't hurt anymore though. I'm not cramping either. I had mild cramping about 4 days ago, like I thought my period was going to come a few days early, but it's completely stopped. Sorry to put every little detail out here, I'm still just kind of like 'what the gently caress' about all this. My husbands pretty set on this all being period symptoms. I asked him why and he said 'We didn't have sex the day you ovulated, we had sex 2 days before and you jumped up to pee instead of laying there to let them swim up'. Hurrrr, I don't think he believes that sperm lives for a couple of days. I don't know if me jumping up to pee has anything to do with anything, but whatever. I think I'm going to give it til Saturday and test if my period doesn't show. Cross your fingers for me!
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Jun 22, 2011 02:13
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I hope someone can offer their experience on what I think could be implantation bleeding or just my body being wacky from stopping birth control. I stopped birth control in September and have had weird periods since, once in February I got brown spotting so I called my OB/GYN and she asked me to come in and told me that my body is still adjusting to being off the birth control and suggested I use an OPK to see if I'm ovulating. Well I started out great with it, but then got busy and couldn't remember anymore. Then in March all was normal until May when I didn't get a period, I took 2 tests and both were negative and just figured it was stress as we were going on vacation at the end of May. Then on the 3rd of June I got brown spotting and the next day I had my period which ended on the 8th. After our Disney trip my husband and I planned to start trying and did so on the 12th and 14th. According to an app in my iPhone I was supposed to ovulate on the 17th (Friday) but that Tuesday(14th) around lunch time I noticed a change in discharge (cervical mucus etc) that was slippery and plentiful. (Sorry for the TMI) I thought maybe my app was off and I ovulated that day instead. So yesterday (21st), about a week after I think I ovulated I woke up to seeing dried blood (brown) on my toilet tissue when I went to the bathroom. That continued during the day and I got cramps. At one point it was dark red. I never needed a tampon, I used a pantyliner but mostly saw it on the toilet tissue. The same thing is still happening today, but the cramping isn't as bad, I did notice some dark red again with the brown. Could this be implantation bleeding? Does it normally last this long? Are cramps normal with implantation bleeding?
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Jun 22, 2011 19:19
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DrPepperholik posted:I hope someone can offer their experience on what I think could be implantation bleeding or just my body being wacky from stopping birth control. I stopped birth control in September and have had weird periods since, once in February I got brown spotting so I called my OB/GYN and she asked me to come in and told me that my body is still adjusting to being off the birth control and suggested I use an OPK to see if I'm ovulating. Well I started out great with it, but then got busy and couldn't remember anymore. Then in March all was normal until May when I didn't get a period, I took 2 tests and both were negative and just figured it was stress as we were going on vacation at the end of May. Then on the 3rd of June I got brown spotting and the next day I had my period which ended on the 8th. After our Disney trip my husband and I planned to start trying and did so on the 12th and 14th. According to an app in my iPhone I was supposed to ovulate on the 17th (Friday) but that Tuesday(14th) around lunch time I noticed a change in discharge (cervical mucus etc) that was slippery and plentiful. (Sorry for the TMI) I thought maybe my app was off and I ovulated that day instead. So yesterday (21st), about a week after I think I ovulated I woke up to seeing dried blood (brown) on my toilet tissue when I went to the bathroom. That continued during the day and I got cramps. At one point it was dark red. I never needed a tampon, I used a pantyliner but mostly saw it on the toilet tissue. The same thing is still happening today, but the cramping isn't as bad, I did notice some dark red again with the brown. Could this be implantation bleeding? Does it normally last this long? Are cramps normal with implantation bleeding? I don't want to alarm you, but that sounds exactly like my miscarriage. We were never sure what was going on until I actually got to the doctor's office. Call up your OB/GYN and see what they have to say. Implantation bleeding is usually pretty light, but there are fluctuations. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
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Jun 22, 2011 19:36
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vanessa posted:I don't want to alarm you, but that sounds exactly like my miscarriage. We were never sure what was going on until I actually got to the doctor's office. I have an appointment next Wednesday with another OB/GYN for a second opinion as I am not convinced that mine is doing what's necessary to find out what's causing the bleeding between periods. She just says it's from stopping the birth control and suggests I start back on it again after I tell her we're TTYC. Did you have cramps? Could it still be a miscarriage this early, I only ovulated last Tuesday or Friday (depending on if you go by my body or my iPhone app) and got this yesterday. I don't even know if I'm pregnant yet. Does a tendency to miscarry run in a family? My grandmother had 11 before she had my mother.
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Jun 22, 2011 20:08
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I somehow missed the part where you said you got your period in June. Did you take any pregnancy tests other than the 2 you took in May?
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Jun 22, 2011 21:00
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vanessa posted:I somehow missed the part where you said you got your period in June. Did you take any pregnancy tests other than the 2 you took in May? No, I haven't yet. I'm not due for my period until the beginning of July or possibly later. Since I stopped the birth control I've had cycle lengths all across the gamut so it's been hard pinpointing when I'm supposed to get my period.
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Jun 22, 2011 21:14
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I still think you should call your doctor to get their opinion, but in the interim, why not take another pregnancy test and pick up some ovulation test strips? With an irregular period, the strips will give you a better idea than an iPhone app of when to have sex.
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Jun 22, 2011 21:37
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It really could be implantation bleeding. I've heard usually it's just a light amount of spotting and some cramps.. But, everyone is different. If it's not actual bleeding, like where you need a tampon or pad, I don't think I'd worry about it so much. And the cramping is pretty common to just stick around after implantation because the uterus is already starting to expand.
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Jun 22, 2011 21:51
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So my wife peed positive and all was well for a day or so. Friday morning, she took the blood test and her hcg beta was 10.3. On Monday she took another and it was 22.1. She's freaking out right now and had to fight her ob to get progesterone and wasn't able to start it until late Monday night. We are waiting for the lab to call with the results from this morning's test and she's about to start pulling her hair out. Her biggest problem is that although the dollar store / Internet store tests show positive still, the First Response tests started to show negative. My position on this is that she is over-reacting and needs to wait for the medical professional to return a diagnosis. She is all doom and gloom, which I partly attribute to the amount ofntime she spends on the pcos/ infertility boards (the baby dust crowd). Any ideas? Is she over-reacting or am I under-reacting?
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Jun 23, 2011 00:53
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vanessa posted:I still think you should call your doctor to get their opinion, but in the interim, why not take another pregnancy test and pick up some ovulation test strips? With an irregular period, the strips will give you a better idea than an iPhone app of when to have sex. I did get an ovulation kit, clear blue I think. I think I do still have a first response pregnancy test, would it be too early to test?
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Jun 23, 2011 01:06
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otter posted:So my wife peed positive and all was well for a day or so. Friday morning, she took the blood test and her hcg beta was 10.3. On Monday she took another and it was 22.1. She's freaking out right now and had to fight her ob to get progesterone and wasn't able to start it until late Monday night.
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Jun 23, 2011 01:10
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DrPepperholik posted:I did get an ovulation kit, clear blue I think. I think I do still have a first response pregnancy test, would it be too early to test? All you can do is try. I will tell you that the day after I got my positive test, which was the day my period was supposed to start, I had brown and dark red bleeding. Not enough to need a tampon, but it did occur. So far, so good.
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Jun 23, 2011 02:54
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FYI, if y'all are looking for ovulation test strips and pregnancy strips on the cheap, try early-pregnancy-tests.com. I think I spent about $30 on a fuckton of ovu strips and a handful of pregnancy tests. They have sales all the time too, so sign up for their newsletters.
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Jun 23, 2011 04:16
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Bahunter22 posted:All you can do is try. I will tell you that the day after I got my positive test, which was the day my period was supposed to start, I had brown and dark red bleeding. Not enough to need a tampon, but it did occur. So far, so good. Thanks! I'll try this weekend if I do still have a test, if not I'm going to another OB/GYN on Tuesday for the second opinion anyway, so I can ask them to test there with my blood. Fingers crossed! If I am my hubby and I are some lucky people to get success on the first real try!
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Jun 23, 2011 04:23
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