[UK] The Great British programme discussion: Piers Morgan Memorial Pier

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > [UK] The Great British programme discussion: Piers Morgan Memorial Pier

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Rarity: Oct 21, 2010; ~*4 LIFE*~

Great. Because of this conversation I've now found a youtube channel with over 200 SMTV clips and am streamlining through them. There goes my weekend. Thanks a lot, guys.

# ? Aug 4, 2011 21:08

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# ? May 15, 2024 03:11

Z-Magic: Feb 19, 2011; They talk about the people and the proletariat, I talk about the suckers and the mugs - it's the same thing. They have their five-year plans, so have I.

josh04 posted:

The Stripper Vicar!

That's what caused my mother to ban me and my brother from watching it :smith:

# ? Aug 4, 2011 21:21

ChuckDHead: Dec 18, 2006

thehustler posted:

Ofcom must not be up that early on a Saturday.

Actually, if you read through the Ofcom archives, you'll find a number of complaints about SMTV Live, mainly relating to innuendo and inappropriate language, although there is one relating to "sexual and religious offense" and one "offense to Christianity", which I would bet are the Stripper Vicar. That said, the Stripper Vicar is actually pretty tame compared to a few of the sketches involving the drunken and innuendous misadventures of Anty and Deccy the garden goblins (think Bill and Ben the flowerpot men tanked up on White Lightning).

Anyway, since I love reading old Ofcom reports for some reason, let's take a look:

Ofcom posted:

25 March 2000 - The Complaint:
Four viewers complained about a presenter wearing a Pokemon character �posing pouch� and subsequent sexual innuendo. (Not upheld)

27 April 2002 - The Complaint:
A viewer complained about swearing.
The Broadcaster�s Statement:
LWT said that �Table Footballers� Wives�, a spoof of a
popular drama, was a regular sketch. The word
�slapper� was commonly used by young people to
describe the type of women portrayed in the sketch. (Upheld)

3 June 2002 - The Complaint:
A viewer complained about the mocking of a mental illness in a children�s programme.
The Broadcaster�s Statement:
LWT said that the Big Brother sketch was a comedy satire, based on a parody of the well-known cult Channel 4 series. In the sketch, the humour was derived from the election of housemates ranging from a morbidly mundane character to an almost pantomime crazed and deranged character. They considered it apparent that there was no malice intended behind the comedic crazed character in the sketch. It was certainly not intended to convey a negative view specifically of Gilles de la Tourette syndrome. (Upheld)

28 September 2002: The Complaint:
Two viewers complained about a racist sketch.
The Broadcaster�s Statement:
Granada said that the successful and popular series attracted a broad age range of viewers, although it was careful to ensure that its cheeky, anarchic style was appropriate for children�s programming. The sketch was a parody of the well known Scottish police drama �Taggart�, hence the presenters and guests played Scottish police characters with deliberately absurd, larger than life accents and costumes. Granada said that there was no intention to disparage or stereotype Scottish people or customs. The humour of the sketch poked fun at such stereotypes and acknowledged this explicitly in the script. (Not upheld)

15 June 2002, - The Complaint
A viewer complained about the use of tarot cards.
The Broadcaster�s Statement:
Granada said that the clip from �Irish Popstars�, which featured a psychic and fortune teller, used practices which would be familiar to most, even young, viewers. Comments were made about the contestants� star signs and numerology. No comments however were made from reading the tarot cards, although they were seen being dealt in a brief segment. (Not upheld)

21 November 1998 - The Complaint
This Saturday morning children�s entertainment magazine regularly includes an interactive game in which young viewers, via the telephone, direct a camera in the studio in order to discover the whereabouts of their �quarry.� On this occasion, the game was called �Hide the Sikh,� and the �quarry� was an elderly Sikh.
A number of viewers, mainly Sikhs themselves, felt that the man had been treated disrespectfully, that the game mocked Sikhs generally and could serve as an encouragement to children to �track down� Sikhs and harass and bully them. Some complainants also felt the man had given incorrect answers to the questions he was asked about being a Sikh. (Not upheld)

Just a few of the many, many, other miscellaneous and unspecified complaints complaints include:

11.12.99: Offense to Christianity

04.11.00: Violent, offensive, and tasteless content

11.11.00: Sexist content

18.11.00: Offensive remark

02.09.00: Homophobic innuendo

13/05/00: Encouraging irresponsible behaviour

17/06/00: Sexual and religious offense

20.10.01: Sexual and religious offense

22.12.01: Sexual innuendo

12.01.02: Tasteless content

02.03.02: Nudity

That said, you'd be amazed at what people will get upset and complain about. I noted one complaint about swearing in The Cliff Richard Story...

Wormophile posted:

Oh god the sweet sweet memories are flooding back. Was there a flasher priest character who was sexually attracted to sabrina the teenage witch or was that some fever dream?

There was a stripper vicar, but the Sabrina thing was a running gag where each week Dec would compose a chapter of his strange and romantic-ish fan-fiction about himself and Sabrina The Teenage Witch. His obsession for Sabrina was replaced by his later obsession for Pokemon, when he'd do terrible Pokemon-related sketches and raps and force Ant, Cat, and whatever celebrities were around that week to wear jumpers with Pikachu on them and rub themselves while saying "Pikachuuuuu".

ChuckDHead fucked around with this message at 22:18 on Aug 4, 2011

# ? Aug 4, 2011 22:04

Kerbtree: Sep 8, 2008; BAD FALCON!
LAZY!

Rarity posted:

Great. Because of this conversation I've now found a youtube channel with over 200 SMTV clips and am streamlining through them. There goes my weekend. Thanks a lot, guys.

and I've been watching old Adam & Joe shows.

# ? Aug 4, 2011 22:09

Z-Magic: Feb 19, 2011; They talk about the people and the proletariat, I talk about the suckers and the mugs - it's the same thing. They have their five-year plans, so have I.

The Ofcom Broadcast Bulletins are brilliant reading, especially the 'Complaints assessed but not further investigated'.

Between 28 June and 11 July 2011 people complained about:

Arrested Development (Trailer) - Gender discrimination/offence

Deal or No Deal - Generally accepted standards

Only Fools and Horse - Offensive language

The One Show - Generally accepted standards

Toy Story 3 promotion - Harm

to name but a few. The most complained about program which was not further investigated was Drive Time on Talksport with 15 complaints about 'generally accepted standards'.

# ? Aug 4, 2011 22:14

Flatscan: Mar 27, 2001; Outlaw Journalist

What does 'generally accepted standards' even mean?

# ? Aug 4, 2011 22:36

ChuckDHead: Dec 18, 2006

Flatscan posted:

What does 'generally accepted standards' even mean?

Whatever some angry old biddy with too much time on their hands has decided is too far today.

# ? Aug 4, 2011 22:39

ScipioAfro: Feb 21, 2011

Both those old ladys are absolutely right though.

# ? Aug 4, 2011 23:15

Kin: Nov 4, 2003; Sometimes, in a city this dirty, you need a real hero.

Dave Ja Vu is only showing from 2am to 4am now? What the hell are they going to show in such a small time frame and why do it so late at night. :psyduck:

# ? Aug 5, 2011 00:05

Bape Culture: Sep 13, 2006

Kin posted:

Dave Ja Vu is only showing from 2am to 4am now? What the hell are they going to show in such a small time frame and why do it so late at night.

Did you read it backwards like a retard?

E: Nope. What the hell indeed.

Bape Culture fucked around with this message at 00:26 on Aug 5, 2011

# ? Aug 5, 2011 00:06

MrL_JaKiri: Sep 23, 2003; A bracing glass of carrot juice!

A5H posted:

Did you read it backwards like a retard?

It?

# ? Aug 5, 2011 00:15

Bape Culture: Sep 13, 2006

MrL_JaKiri posted:

It?

I was wrong. It makes no sense.
Still works on virgin though?

Bape Culture fucked around with this message at 00:26 on Aug 5, 2011

# ? Aug 5, 2011 00:18

Rush Limbo: Sep 5, 2005; its with a full house

All this SMTV chat has made me incredibly nostalgic. Those were the good old days

# ? Aug 5, 2011 00:23

Taear: Nov 26, 2004; Ask me about the shitty opinions I have about Paradox games!

ChuckDHead posted:

I never understood why other kids found that so hard, since I could usually get it. I can only assume that the time pressure made them choke, which is partly why I never bothered phoning in myself, because I didn't want to be responsible for finally making Ant and Dec have an aneurysm out of sheer rage at the millionth failed attempt at rhyming two words.

It's the same reason that in Million Pound Drop there are people who put money on Frankie Boyle as the Duke of Oxfordshire or that in Pointless only 97 people out of 100 know what the currency of the UK is.
I figure they deliberately pick idiots.

I must be the only person to never have watched SMTV Live. It had adverts!!

# ? Aug 5, 2011 00:25

Kin: Nov 4, 2003; Sometimes, in a city this dirty, you need a real hero.

MrL_JaKiri posted:

It?

There's a splash screen advertising the new times on the channel (25 on freeview), _{that A5H wrongly accused me of misreading}.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 01:08

Bape Culture: Sep 13, 2006

Kin posted:

_{that A5H wrongly accused me of misreading}.

Haha sorry mate!

# ? Aug 5, 2011 01:15

ChuckDHead: Dec 18, 2006

Kin posted:

Dave Ja Vu is only showing from 2am to 4am now? What the hell are they going to show in such a small time frame and why do it so late at night.

What? That's the worst decision Dave have made since funding Red Dwarf: Back to Earth.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 01:26

cloudchamber: Aug 6, 2010; You know what the Ukraine is? It's a sitting duck. A road apple, Newman. The Ukraine is weak. It's feeble. I think it's time to put the hurt on the Ukraine

I'm on Sky and get no such screen.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 01:31

MrL_JaKiri: Sep 23, 2003; A bracing glass of carrot juice!

Freeview has the channel being used by something else the rest of the time, or so the internet leads me to believe.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 01:39

Daktar: Aug 19, 2008; I done turned 'er head into a slug an' now she's a-stucked!

Oh god SMTV was the best. They once had Robbie Williams on as a guest and he mooned the audience. My mum (who was a huge Robbie fan) was watching and she was incredibly offended that he'd do something like that on children's television. It's probably a good thing she didn't habitually watch it.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 02:06

Graviton v2: Mar 2, 2007; by angerbeet

Kerbtree posted:

iPlayer has then up for a week in full quality, 4od has them in perpetuity in, what? 320x240? That's your tradeoff.

As ive said before I reckon its deffo on the table to make the full BBC archive open but they will have to have a sort of 'super account' for that based on the TV license. As a software developer I can state with confidence that it isnt as easy as it sounds.

1) Just think of all the people who dont bother with the TV license.
2) The people who share one.
3) The hardware to make it work reliably, pricy.
4) Are we sharing this with the rest of the world (thats a polital descision and the answer must be no surely, you dont see loving ABC in the USA letting us stream their stuff unless you sneak around it with a VPN)
5) The anti-competition poo poo as noted above from sky and whatever.

It will happen one day but they just gotta work poo poo out.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 03:41

Akuma: Sep 11, 2001

You know the iPlayer is international now in the form of mobile apps (just iOS right now? Not sure.) I think you have to pay a subscription for most (all?) of the content, though.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 07:28

FreakyZoid: Nov 28, 2002

Rarity posted:

Great. Because of this conversation I've now found a youtube channel with over 200 SMTV clips and am streamlining through them. There goes my weekend. Thanks a lot, guys.

Why not share the love?

# ? Aug 5, 2011 07:43

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Akuma posted:

You know the iPlayer is international now in the form of mobile apps (just iOS right now? Not sure.) I think you have to pay a subscription for most (all?) of the content, though.

It's only available in Europe right now, and it's �7 a month or �50 a year subscription.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 08:59

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

Rarity posted:

Here, 2 for the price of 1!

God I miss SMTV

SMITTEN KITTEN

# ? Aug 5, 2011 11:25

ChuckDHead: Dec 18, 2006

Fatkraken posted:

SMITTEN KITTEN

You know, I think I might remember yelling exactly that at the TV...

I love Dec's faux-retardation there (kittykittykitty! :downs:

). I'm amazed they kept that contest going for as long as they did given that every week involved them getting incredibly frustrated at the callers. Grown men yelling at children really shouldn't be as funny as that somehow is.

ChuckDHead fucked around with this message at 11:36 on Aug 5, 2011

# ? Aug 5, 2011 11:30

PriorMarcus: Oct 17, 2008; ASK ME ABOUT BEING ALLERGIC TO POSITIVITY

Rarity posted:

Great. Because of this conversation I've now found a youtube channel with over 200 SMTV clips and am streamlining through them. There goes my weekend. Thanks a lot, guys.

Link? I didn't like how my weekend was looking anyway.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 11:33

Fungah: Jul 2, 2003; Fungah! Foiled again!

SMTV chat:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yog6gERUGiM

Perhaps the only evidence still in existence that this ever happened. Who thought interviewing Slash on an early morning kids show would be a good idea.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 12:47

N3RDSTER: Mar 27, 2010

Additional evidence:
http://www.nme.com/news/slash/5535

# ? Aug 5, 2011 13:03

ChuckDHead: Dec 18, 2006

Fungah posted:

SMTV chat:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yog6gERUGiM

Perhaps the only evidence still in existence that this ever happened. Who thought interviewing Slash on an early morning kids show would be a good idea.

The linked video of Cat yelling at the Britain's Got Talent studio audience to "loving SHUT UP!" is also pretty great.

ChuckDHead fucked around with this message at 13:11 on Aug 5, 2011

# ? Aug 5, 2011 13:08

Rarity: Oct 21, 2010; ~*4 LIFE*~

http://www.youtube.com/user/SMTValive

For all your SMTV needs. I forgot how gorgeous Cat was :swoon:

# ? Aug 5, 2011 13:54

ChuckDHead: Dec 18, 2006

Rarity posted:

For all your SMTV needs. I forgot how gorgeous Cat was

Except as Cat The Dog. Even Dwayne Dibley would be horrified by those teeth.

Also it's great to see The Beautiful Corrs again. Poor Jim, so ignored and unloved. Maybe that's what's led him to become a truther and general nut.

ChuckDHead fucked around with this message at 14:43 on Aug 5, 2011

# ? Aug 5, 2011 14:40

Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

THE MAN CORR! Call him by his name.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 15:49

incredible bear: Jul 10, 2005; doing the bear maximum

Christ I feel old in here right now, where's all the Andi Peters love?

# ? Aug 5, 2011 16:14

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

Live and Kicking was what I grew up with. Still remember the final episode with Andi Peters and Emma Forbes with them sobbing everywhere.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 16:18

ChuckDHead: Dec 18, 2006

incredible bear posted:

Christ I feel old in here right now, where's all the Andi Peters love?

If I recall right, the man was eternally upstaged by Ed The Duck.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 16:18

Z-Magic: Feb 19, 2011; They talk about the people and the proletariat, I talk about the suckers and the mugs - it's the same thing. They have their five-year plans, so have I.

incredible bear posted:

Christ I feel old in here right now, where's all the Andi Peters love?

Andi Peters! Don't return my calls no more
Andi Peters! Won't put me on his channel 4
But Andi Peters! If you don't give me a job
Andi Peters! Tell everyone you touched my...

Haven't finished it yet

# ? Aug 5, 2011 16:21

HoldYourFire: Oct 16, 2006; What's the time? It's DEFCON 1!

Did anyone see Pointless today? Apparently "shoelace" isn't a word but "meatspace" is.

Edit: Oh God it gets even worse.

Sophie Winkleman lookalike: "I hope teenage celebrities come up! Specifically Miley Cyrus."

Then she is asked "Celebrities and their famous fathers: Miley Cyrus."

"Hmm, I don't know that one... I'll say Billy Ray Cyrus, even though it's probably wrong."

:ughh:

HoldYourFire fucked around with this message at 20:04 on Aug 5, 2011

# ? Aug 5, 2011 19:34

lazyjane: Aug 24, 2003; Lemurs, Man, Lemurs

incredible bear posted:

Christ I feel old in here right now, where's all the Andi Peters love?

My memories are of Going Live and I vaguely remember No 73 with Sandi Toksvig and Neil Buchanan. Which makes me even older than you. Ugh.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 19:48

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# ? May 15, 2024 03:11

Kin: Nov 4, 2003; Sometimes, in a city this dirty, you need a real hero.

Why the hell aren't any of you watching this Superheroes of Suburbia on C4 just now. It's amazing!

It started at 19:35 so tune in on +1 to catch it in all its glory.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 19:54

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > [UK] The Great British programme discussion: Piers Morgan Memorial Pier

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