Howard Stern Show Megathread: 5 More years of complaining

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Ether Frenzy: Dec 22, 2006; Nap Ghost

My favorite part was when that caller called in and started to say something that wasn't a bit about how great Howard TV was

And then Howard talked over the guy's point 8 times in a row and got angry at him for having a phone instead of being in the studio with no delay and hung up on him.

# ? Aug 4, 2011 20:53

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# ? May 27, 2024 10:05

ChubbyEmoBabe: Sep 6, 2003; -=|NMN|=-

...there's a place on earth where I can just scoop up macadamia nuts of the ground and eat them.

...then I learned you have to carry around a vice to open them. :smith:

# ? Aug 4, 2011 20:59

Sand Monster: Apr 13, 2008

After other posters mentioned listening to the ETM pack, I went and checked out a few at random, and the aspect that stood out the most was how vocal Fred was (or specifically how much he was laughing, and how loudly) whenever Artie told jokes. You never really hear Fred laugh any more, but he was busting a gut all the time at Artie's lines. It was pretty much the equivalent of Jackie laughing at his own jokes.

# ? Aug 4, 2011 21:02

ChubbyEmoBabe: Sep 6, 2003; -=|NMN|=-

Or maybe that funny stuff was actually being said? Artie's relentless hammering on ETM was some of his best stuff.

# ? Aug 4, 2011 21:04

Ktik: Jul 10, 2004

I'm about half way through the 2006 ETM clips and I'm dying. I love that little club footed bastard.

# ? Aug 4, 2011 21:06

Crotch Bat: Dec 6, 2003; Much like with everything else in life, the Euros seem to have more sense on how to do things in a fun atmosphere without sucking the soul out of the event.

Fred really liked Artie as a comedian and both frequently cracked each other up. Neither Howard nor Robin have any sense of pop culture history but Fred and Artie love that stuff and that made them crack the other up often. Go listen to 0.0, you'll never hear Robin or Howard laugh at Artie's Dean Wormer because neither has a loving clue who he's impersonating but Fred is just dying.

# ? Aug 4, 2011 21:44

Vakal: May 11, 2008

A Intimate Rimjobs posted:

Let's use the rest of the vacation to talk about our favorite bits and interviews since Howard re-signed. I'll start:

Ok now you go

Howard busting Gary's balls over his book was pretty good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoPGTd5wR4s

That's about it though.

# ? Aug 4, 2011 22:00

picosecond: Dec 9, 2006; one millionth of one millionth of a second

There were a couple of good bits revolving around Gary's book. My personal favorite was where they played clips from the audio book and Robin would just laugh progressively louder & harder as Gary droned on with his banal stories.

# ? Aug 4, 2011 22:08

chiz: Sep 28, 2002

AxeManiac posted:

My favorite bit was when they had Lady Gaga in and they all pretended for the next few shows that stupid song about telling your parents you will wear your hair however you like was deep and moving.

I thought that interview sucked and those songs sucked, and I listen to her other ones once in a while, like paparazzi, telephone, etc, you know, all the gay ones.

It was a real softball interview, I mean Howard was like "so how do you get into the music industry?"

How? Jesus loving christ, haven't you interviewed a thousand musicians? Is that a pressing question you want answered from her? How did neither Will nor Jason not dig up interesting things from her past and if they did, how did Howard not ask them?

She was on some dopey Mtv show at one point (I saw a youtube of it) and he could have asked her about that and was it her trying to break into showbiz, what was going on, etc. Has she slept with anyone famous, or who is she friends with in Hollywood...

The Billy Joel interview was really good, why wasn't this one?

and yeah, pico's right, the "Gary's lists" segments had me laughing

# ? Aug 4, 2011 22:37

null_user01013: Nov 13, 2000; Drink up comrades

He masterfully worked in things like "Do you poo poo" and "When was the last time you banged" and regretfully didn't get in "Do you like anal" however.

Billy Joel interview was good because it was two friends, this was pandering to a larger audience, of which he spent some time making GBS threads on and her before she walked into the studio.

# ? Aug 4, 2011 23:06

Streebs: Dec 6, 2003; RIP

AxeManiac posted:

He masterfully worked in things like "Do you poo poo" and "When was the last time you banged" and regretfully didn't get in "Do you like anal" however.

Billy Joel interview was good because it was two friends, this was pandering to a larger audience, of which he spent some time making GBS threads on and her before she walked into the studio.

I forget, did he ask her if she's ever had sex with a girl or licked a guy's rear end in a top hat?

# ? Aug 5, 2011 00:12

OG KUSH BLUNTS: Jan 4, 2011

A Intimate Rimjobs posted:

Let's use the rest of the vacation to talk about our favorite bits and interviews since Howard re-signed. I'll start:

Ok now you go

Jack and Rod Marijuana Addiction

# ? Aug 5, 2011 00:56

null_user01013: Nov 13, 2000; Drink up comrades

Streebs posted:

I forget, did he ask her if she's ever had sex with a girl or licked a guy's rear end in a top hat?

He should have asked why her whole rear end in a top hat is hanging out when she dances.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 01:10

Grabulon: Jul 25, 2003

Robin farting uncontrollably while high on ayahuasca in a teepee in Peru was pretty funny.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 02:19

null_user01013: Nov 13, 2000; Drink up comrades

Yeah, the Robin songs are pretty funny at least. Also Wolfie doing interviews is good, and every now and then the boys get a new phoney phone call and oh, Howard started taking photography lessons and has problems using a cell phone.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 02:43

Shes Not Impressed: Apr 25, 2004

I wonder if Howard's assistant is just sabotaging his knowledge and ability to maintain anything himself so they always have a job. Then again, from what I recall, she's in some closet going through Stern history tapes we'll never hear.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 03:50

CrazyAss13: Jun 12, 2002; Awesome Dude

Never forget KC Armstrong And Darlene The Tranny.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 04:55

ChaosMonkey: Jun 28, 2008

I liked the bit where I canceled my Sirius sub and then spent a month listening to every Eric the Midget call from 2002-2009.

"I want you to tell Johnny Fratto what I'm about to tell you now: You're out! Through! Through at the Stern Channels! I want you off the JFSC by nine o'clock Monday morning!"

Fred's deep, guttural laughter is a wonderful counterpoint to Artie's wheezing, breathless cackle.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 05:52

Glumwheels: Jan 25, 2003; https://twitter.com/BidenHQ

A Intimate Rimjobs posted:

"Hi I'm calling about cancelling my subscription/the basketball goal/the Kenmore dryer"
"I'm sorry sir, did you want to cancel your subscription?"
"Yes/No"

I finally got this lol. That's one of Richard's best prank calls.

edit:

http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/08/01/colon-cleansing-not-so-healthy-analysis-says/

quote:

Colon cleansing: Not so healthy, analysis says
It has been touted as a natural way to improve your heath and cleanse the soul. But doctors are now finding the procedure known as colon cleansing can cause dangerous side effects.

Colon cleansing, technically known as colonic hydrotherapy or colonic irrigation, is a popular treatment, usually performed at spas. It often involves the use of chemicals in the body and in hydrotherapy, the colon is flushed with water through a tube inserted in the rectum.

But oral home remedies are also available and have become popular, especially over the Internet. Now researchers from Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. say there's no evidence any of these colon cleansing treatments work and, in fact, when used improperly can cause cramping, kidney failure and in some extreme cases, death.

"There can be serious consequences for those who engage in colon cleansing whether they have the procedure done at a spa or perform it at home," says the lead author, Dr. Ranit Mishori, a family medicine physician at Georgetown University School of Medicine. "Colon cleansing products in the form of laxatives, teas, powders and capsules... tout benefits that don't exist."

Mayo doctor is no fan of cleanses

Although colon cleansing has been around for centuries as a way to rid the body of unwanted toxins, the American Medical Association determined in the early 1900s that the procedure was invalid; there was no evidence to show the methods worked. And even though there still remains no solid evidence these products do what they claim, colon cleansing has been making a comeback, mainly because manufacturers claim it also helps people lose weight.

"If this method were the key to weight loss, it would be amazing. But there is no evidence that this helps people lose weight,� says Mishori. "Manufacturers don't describe how it works. The statements are a little empty. They say it will enhance your immune system, up your metabolism, give you energy. It�s all pretty vague. Some people swear by it, but it could be a placebo effect. And companies can make these claims, because the federal government doesn't regulate their products."

Not expecting miracles, but I love my cleanses

According to the report released this week in the Journal of Family Practice, Mishori and her colleagues examined 20 studies published in medical literature over the last 10 years.

Investigators noted while these reports showed little evidence of colon cleansing benefits, there were a number of side effects reported following the use of these cleansing methods. Those effects included cramping, bloating, nausea, vomiting, electrolyte imbalance and renal failure. And in some cases, ingredients in these remedies were toxic.

"Some herbal preparations have also been associated with aplastic anemia and liver toxicity," Mishori said.

Researchers also noted that many of the "spas" that offer colon cleansing have no trained clinicians and even organizations such as the National Board for Colon Hydrotherapy and others who promote colon cleansing require technicians who perform professional colon cleansing to have little more than a high school diploma.

"When you flush your colon out with a hose, it's like giving yourself an enema on steroids. You shouldn't put things up there that really don't belong there," stressed Mishori. "Imagine 60 liters of water going through your colon. The stress it puts on the system, and the hose, if not used correctly, could puncture the organ."

As for the home remedies, Mishori says there's no need for them. "We poop and pee for a reason. If you are a healthy person, the body does it for you."

When asked what was the best way to cleanse the body, Mishori was quick to respond.

"Eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly," she stressed, "Get six to eight hours of sleep and see a doctor regularly. But no one wants to do that," she said with exasperation. "But they'll use a hose to flush themselves out! The use of these methods are unhealthy. And what's scary is we only examined the cases that were reported to hospitals and doctors. Imagine all the people who are using these products and methods and have side effects and never go to the hospital. We don't know about them. The numbers could be staggering."

But this comes from doctors that practice "western medicine" and not a healer in peru that makes you poo poo your brains out while rolling around on cookies and candy.

Glumwheels fucked around with this message at 07:02 on Aug 5, 2011

# ? Aug 5, 2011 06:30

kylej: Jul 6, 2004; Grimey Drawer

He gets bored in Las Vegas
"There's nothing to do!"
He should go back to sleep
In his cage in the zoo
He got shot in the eye
With va-gi-na gooooooo

The fact that I remember every word of this song and sing it regularly to myself means I'm probably insane.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 16:39

Brocktoon: Jul 18, 2006; Before we engage we should hang back and study their tactics.

AxeManiac posted:

Yeah, the Robin songs are pretty funny at least. Also Wolfie doing interviews is good, and every now and then the boys get a new phoney phone call and oh, Howard started taking photography lessons and has problems using a cell phone.

I really hate Wolfie's interviews. He's way too antagonistic. All of his questions are "Why are you such a loving piece of poo poo that lives your parent's basement?"

# ? Aug 5, 2011 17:37

Shes Not Impressed: Apr 25, 2004

Brocktoon posted:

I really hate Wolfie's interviews. He's way too antagonistic. All of his questions are "Why are you such a loving piece of poo poo that lives your parent's basement?"

It's the most common question posited to nerd types and yet they always fail to answer it without babbling like idiots. That and about their virginity.

I, dressed up as some obscure Star Wars character that is barely understandable through the mask, am too high brow for such dirty talk.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 17:46

Mr Hands Colon: May 7, 2009; requiescant in pace.

I'm Darth Nihilis.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 18:27

Tim Selaty Jr: May 16, 2011; by Pipski

Shes Not Impressed posted:

It's the most common question posited to nerd types and yet they always fail to answer it without babbling like idiots. That and about their virginity.

I, dressed up as some obscure Star Wars character that is barely understandable through the mask, am too high brow for such dirty talk.

I really enjoyed how fast they all dropped their characters as soon as Wolfie or whoever was doing them this time went into virginity questions

# ? Aug 5, 2011 22:27

chiz: Sep 28, 2002

Brocktoon posted:

I really hate Wolfie's interviews. He's way too antagonistic. All of his questions are "Why are you such a loving piece of poo poo that lives your parent's basement?"

Hey you, trim that neckbeard

I think Wolfie holds his own pretty good. He does have a bit of a smugness about him and seems like he's on the verge of laughing in peoples faces, but he does a pretty good job of it.

Gary Garver was way worse to people, maybe you're thinking of him? Garver got really hostile with people

"if you act like an rear end in a top hat, don't be surprised if people treat you like one"

"what?" "Hey, you're an rear end in a top hat for dressing up like that"

that's Garver.

also you didn't like Artie, Brocktoon, so anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law

:mad:

# ? Aug 5, 2011 23:23

null_user01013: Nov 13, 2000; Drink up comrades

Naw, Wolfie is usually harmless, the people relate to him because he isn't antaganizing them, he has a good flow with those types. Shuli or however his name is spelled at comic con was just straight up goofing on people and being mean, breaking character to laugh at them or what not.

Wolfie just keeps it all in and lets the loonies talk. I'll never get tired of hearing nerds in masks stumble over questions and jobs and girls. It's amazing. I tried doing stuff like that at a few conventions, it is REALLY hard to do. You have to be nice or they just don't talk with you.

# ? Aug 5, 2011 23:40

Shes Not Impressed: Apr 25, 2004

Wolfie's interviews at the furry con has some great comments and arguments on YouTube.

"What do you think is the best way to clean semen off your fur suit?"
"How do you actually guide the dog's penis into your rear end?"

Shes Not Impressed fucked around with this message at 00:39 on Aug 6, 2011

# ? Aug 6, 2011 00:36

Squashy Nipples: Aug 18, 2007

AxeManiac posted:

Wolfie just keeps it all in and lets the loonies talk. I'll never get tired of hearing nerds in masks stumble over questions and jobs and girls. It's amazing. I tried doing stuff like that at a few conventions, it is REALLY hard to do. You have to be nice or they just don't talk with you.

Yeah, the hard part is making it look easy.

I tried doing similar interviews back in business school, interviewing undergrads (I went to school where there was a massive gulf between grad and undergrad, almost like it was two different schools). You have to get the mix of nice and straight-faced reporterman just right, so that they will still talk to you once they realize what you are doing. Shuli was openly mocking his subjects, and that doesn't really work.

# ? Aug 6, 2011 01:15

null_user01013: Nov 13, 2000; Drink up comrades

Yeah, I usually am too nice to people to pull it off. Another trick is to put fake questions in there to lull them, and then just play it out of order or just get the crazy response.

His opening line of asking them to make a noise or yell or whatever usually tells him they are down to clown and don't give a gently caress.

I don't really enjoy when he asks people in his home town questions, that is just depressing to see average people be so stupid and mean.

# ? Aug 6, 2011 01:43

Ether Frenzy: Dec 22, 2006; Nap Ghost

AxeManiac posted:

just depressing to see average people be so stupid and mean.

Scott DePace, summed up

# ? Aug 6, 2011 01:45

Shes Not Impressed: Apr 25, 2004

Ether Frenzy posted:

Scott DePace, summed up

I wonder if DePace is a big Jimmy Buffet fan.

# ? Aug 6, 2011 01:46

chiz: Sep 28, 2002

You've never seen a place

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHXuf-xH6vQ

My veins are opened

# ? Aug 6, 2011 03:01

null_user01013: Nov 13, 2000; Drink up comrades

Hahahha, holy poo poo. There is a DVDSCR of Super 8 floating around, somebody said that is has text on it, saying "H. Stern"... holy poo poo.

# ? Aug 6, 2011 04:05

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

AxeManiac posted:

Hahahha, holy poo poo. There is a DVDSCR of Super 8 floating around, somebody said that is has text on it, saying "H. Stern"... holy poo poo.

I hope to god this is true.

IT IS TRUE

-Atom- fucked around with this message at 04:21 on Aug 6, 2011

# ? Aug 6, 2011 04:18

Priapist: Aug 10, 2002; Heeeere's Herbie!

AxeManiac posted:

Hahahha, holy poo poo. There is a DVDSCR of Super 8 floating around, somebody said that is has text on it, saying "H. Stern"... holy poo poo.

Yep. If it's a hoax, it originated with the person who released the source. All of the various group releases have that "H. Stern" watermark. Ralph denied on Twitter that it was he that leaked it.

If this is real, it sure makes Howard look pretty lovely. After all the whining he did about not getting screeners without courier supervision, he shows exactly why the studios don't trust him. J.J. Abrams probably had to personally intervene to get him a copy of Super 8.

# ? Aug 6, 2011 04:19

null_user01013: Nov 13, 2000; Drink up comrades

Well he cries and complains, then he lets everyone on the staff borrow it and throws a screening party, no wonder people don't want to send him poo poo. I hope he explodes on this and goes on a witch hunt or something. God... please don't let him sweep this under the rug like he has done with everything else.

Jesus Christ, if Bobo calls in on this....

# ? Aug 6, 2011 04:23