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I was at the Vans Warped Tour watching Attack Attack! play a song that the crowd wasn't much into as I waited for my friend's band to perform. I was standing next to some high school kid and his girlfriend. I was talking to his girlfriend about bands. He was in the conversation too, but he was being kinda quiet. We were standing right next to a mosh pit that nobody was moshing in. There was one kid standing in the middle, but most of the people were tired and nobody was really active in the pit. So the guy I was talking to gives his girlfriend a kiss on the cheek, whispers something in her ear and runs off. I go back to watching Attack Attack! and out of the corner of my eye, I see the kid sprint through the pit and shoulder tackle the guy standing around. The kid got tackled so hard his shoes flung off and into the crowd as he flew into 4 people standing on the perimeter of the pit and took them out. The crowd around me went, "OOOoooooOoooOOOooo" as the kid I was talking to previously, ran over to the guy he tackled. He helped him up, grabbed his back and said "Oh man dude! Are you ok?! Holey poo poo that was fuckin crazzzzyyy! You can't be standin around in the pit like that bro!! Keep ur head up!" The kid was completely googley eyed. His response was something like "Awahwwah yeayea yea yea yea I'm fine! Yea bro 's all good man yeaaaaaaaa." As he staggered back into the crowd. So the guy I'm talking to runs back around, gets back behind his girlfriend, puts his arms around her and continues to watch the concert like nothing happened.
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Jul 31, 2011 19:02
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ZanderZ posted:I was at the Vans Warped Tour watching Attack Attack! play a song that the crowd wasn't much into as I waited for my friend's band to perform. I was standing next to some high school kid and his girlfriend. I was talking to his girlfriend about bands. He was in the conversation too, but he was being kinda quiet. Sorry, but the mosh pit is like the splash zone at sea-world, or the front 15 rows at a Gallagher show. If you can't take the heat, you don't belong in the kitchen. Punk got what he deserved.
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Aug 2, 2011 14:10
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Sponge! posted:Sorry, but the mosh pit is like the splash zone at sea-world, or the front 15 rows at a Gallagher show. If you can't take the heat, you don't belong in the kitchen. Punk got what he deserved. So the kid that wasn't in the mosh pit to begin with, who then runs in just to level the kid not moshing (along with pretty much everyone else), then run back out...is totally in the right? Okay. I get it if it's an active pit and the kid not doing anything gets plowed over but really? He deserved it?
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Aug 2, 2011 17:36
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I recently had a delayed WTC moment. While talking to one of my friends about a girl I had met the week earlier, I casually mentioned that she was all shaved down there. Then it suddenly came to my mind: How the gently caress do I know this? I've never seen her naked, what the hell? Cut back to a party I went with her the last weekend. We all got really really drunk. At some point she asks me, "could you help me a bit?", then I followed her to the garden. She said, "just cover me, ok?" then pulled down her shorts and started peeing in a corner. When she was done, she got up and we resumed our conversation normally. Five minutes later she did remember to pull up her shorts and panties. I was so drunk that I didn't even care about her shortlessness and only got to remember this some days after. It seems like she also didn't remember any of this, because she wanted to die when I told her. nerdz has a new favorite as of 21:55 on Aug 2, 2011 |
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Aug 2, 2011 21:47
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nerdz posted:I recently had a delayed WTC moment. While talking to one of my friends about a girl I had met the week earlier, I casually mentioned that she was all shaved down there. Then it suddenly came to my mind: How the gently caress do I know this? I've never seen her naked, what the hell? This, this will be relevant to a future E/N thread.
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Aug 2, 2011 22:24
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Back in high school, I needed to go to my father's place (parents separated) to print some things I think since my printer didn't work and it was only across the street from the school. Before I walk into the house, this old lady in this van just stopped across the street and commented how awesome my hair is. I was like  and said thanks. Than she said you should talk to my granddaughter, which I would assume date her... This happened twice. Edit: Better now? Yes I had a rough grasp at layman and I thought it was spelled like lehman. But yeah that was odd. BMB5150 has a new favorite as of 01:25 on Aug 3, 2011 |
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Aug 2, 2011 22:42
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A couple years back I was standing on my mom's backyard patio with her, my sister, and two guests who were looking to buy some puppies one of our champions had just give birth to. I was barefoot while everyone else had shoes on. poo poo, it's my backyard, why not? Our favorite dog Stoney was outside at the time, just sniffing around and being a cute little pest. Then, out of loving nowhere, this little gently caress walks up to me, backs her rear end up against my shin, and PLOP! Giant logs of warm, fresh, mooshy poo poo splat onto my bare right foot. I'm in such shock that I just stand there, trying to wrap my mind around the fact that this is literally happening in front of these professionals. Oh my god. My sister busts out laughing and it takes my mom a while to realize what's going on. I'm just standing there like  and the guests are mortified.I still  when I think about that. She was sniffing around for a place to poo poo for a good 10 minutes or so, and then LITERALLY positioned her rear end in a top hat right over my foot. Like, she SHIFTED a couple of times before making GBS threads on me.W. T. C. loving dog. Gotta love her.
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Aug 2, 2011 22:47
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BMB5150 posted:Than she said you should talk to my granddaughter, which in Lehman's terms, date her... What the christ, is this some sort German expression that's been corrupted? Or did you really ask the former Arsenal keeper?
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Aug 2, 2011 23:04
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labyrinth posted:Did you run over a gypsy and are now cursed to be surrounded by poo poo wherever you go or something? Jesus. I haven't really had any stories on par with the rest of this thread, but at one point, my younger brother, at the age of eleven, took one of those little plastic beads and, through some Herculean feat, managed to get it completely around one of his front teeth. One second, he's sitting in the living room doing nothing, and the next second, he's screaming for my mom because he can't get the drat thing off. Nobody could figure out why he did it, he didn't know why he did it, and it took us a half hour to get the fucker off.Kids...
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Aug 2, 2011 23:33
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Zuriel147 posted:What the christ, is this some sort German expression that's been corrupted? Or did you really ask the former Arsenal keeper? No, it's his new moment of when he realizes the word he's always heard is spelled 'layman'
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Aug 2, 2011 23:56
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Hughlander posted:No, it's his new moment of Actually after looking around on the internet following this, the word is actually derived from the German "Lehrmann", which means, roughly, "one who leers (from lehren, to leer) at another with the express intention of soliciting for a more junior member of a family". Similar German words include Mutterrumpenpumpengesuchen, Freundenmitgewinn, and Ericstoltzer. I love when English borrows words like these, I'm sure going to experience some schadenfreude from all those confused faces!
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Aug 3, 2011 01:17
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Zuriel147 posted:Actually after looking around on the internet following this, the word is actually derived from the German "Lehrmann", which means, roughly, "one who leers (from lehren, to leer) at another with the express intention of soliciting for a more junior member of a family". Okay I have a rough understanding of the term. Now I know what it truly is, editing now. Edit: Lets make this post better than that. Probably the wackiest poo poo will happen in Portland, Oregon during the night. I went their with a bunch of friends to see a concert. First weird thing was the venue, during the Saturday's I think, it's hentai night. I could only imagine what happens their (a few pages back in the gif thread here in PYF, it shows the theater). While waiting for the doors open, this old guy comes up and walks around saying I was born here and other random poo poo. So the concert happens and when we were leaving is when poo poo went down. We were talking to some other people and waiting for a friend, this black guy listening to music in his walkman, joins the group. Along with that, he was bobbing around to the music. All of us were a bit stunned and tried to make a response to this. Instead we slowly broke the group up and got a way from him. So we decided to leave and of course we had the drug dealers out on the streets selling stuff. And comes right next to me this guy who was jittery as all hell. We were waiting at a stop light and once we got the okay to walk across, he just fell into the middle of the crosswalk face first. Then he dashes up to dash up to the other side of the group we were in, and was pointing in front of us, then crouched down like a frog, and then asked one of my friends the question, okay, okay, first question what is your name? My friend decided to try to walk around him and couldn't so he asked a question back saying, why does that matter. After a little bit of chatting, he moped off saying "Fine, I'm a piece of poo poo." We keep going our merrily way when we see these 3 guys in a heated conversation with one guy charging off and just ripping his coat off like he was going to kill someone. We walked off then came across another two guys in another heated conversation about killing someone. And during this whole entire saga of walking back to the van, this guy in a rickshaw was rapping about Mercedes-Benz's, god, and other stuff that we have no idea what he was talking about. Mind you, this happened in about a 10 minute time frame. So, if you want to have a fun time, go to Portland at midnight. BMB5150 has a new favorite as of 01:47 on Aug 3, 2011 |
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Aug 3, 2011 01:23
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I was sitting in one of the squares in town last weekend when a sheepish looking girl wandered up to me with a clipboard and pen. The square usually has a lot of students or market researchers doing surveys. Since I'm doing a dissertation myself I'm usually happy to help any student survey. "Excuse, me I'm a student at the University of SOMEWHERE Business School, would you mind completing a survey for my dissertation?" Ah, theory confirmed, no problem. "It's on quite an embarrassing subject" OK, no worries, it's anonymous anyway, what could possibly go wrong? And that's how I ended up spending ten minutes filling out a questionnaire rating, on a scale from 1 to 7, with 7 being "most important", 4 being "don't care" and 1 being "not important", the price, smell, slipperiness, taste, packaging, and amongst other things, ease of use of anal lubricant. What. The. Christ.
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Aug 4, 2011 02:55
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Zuriel147 posted:And that's how I ended up spending ten minutes filling out a questionnaire rating, on a scale from 1 to 7, with 7 being "most important", 4 being "don't care" and 1 being "not important", the price, smell, slipperiness, taste, packaging, and amongst other things, ease of use of anal lubricant. And this, dear readers, is why professors need to stop letting their students choose their own topics. Sure, it encourages them to get creative... but then there's the ones who get creative.
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Aug 4, 2011 03:13
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Malachite_Dragon posted:And this, dear readers, is why professors need to stop letting their students choose their own topics. Sure, it encourages them to get creative... but then there's the ones who get creative. Somebody has to work for the lube marketing companies I guess. Sex accessories is a big money industry.
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Aug 4, 2011 22:37
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Sponge! posted:Somebody has to work for the lube marketing companies I guess. Sex accessories is a big money industry. I take online surveys sometimes and one company offered to send me samples of some special KY (one of those "Yours and Mine" kinds I think) to test and eventually do a follow up survey. I declined that one.
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Aug 4, 2011 22:53
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Sponge! posted:Somebody has to work for the lube marketing companies I guess. Sex accessories is a big money industry. The trick in that job would be to pick potential candidates who a) appear friendly and approachable, and b) look like they take it up the rear end. Soooooo, Zuriel147 ... 
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Aug 5, 2011 13:51
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dinozombiesgoRARR posted:The trick in that job would be to pick potential candidates who a) appear friendly and approachable, and b) look like they take it up the rear end. Although yes, I was worried, I like to think it's because I looked like I have a hugely varied sex life. I was the er, not the ee.That's what I was telling myself as I filled out the questionnaire, red faced. Zuriel147 has a new favorite as of 14:12 on Aug 5, 2011 |
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Aug 5, 2011 14:06
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BMB5150 posted:Back in high school, I needed to go to my father's place (parents separated) to print some things I think since my printer didn't work and it was only across the street from the school. Before I walk into the house, this old lady in this van just stopped across the street and commented how awesome my hair is. I was like Sort of a WTC moment for me that was harmless, but pretty much out of nowhere. I was driving home from work one night and was stopped at an intersection light when a white SUV pulls up to my left (think it was a Tahoe or Suburban). Anyways, it's a nice night out so my windows are down, and I hear "HEY!" from the SUV. It was a teenage girl in the front passenger seat, and she leans out and asks "Do you think my mom is hot??" Her mom was driving and got this embarrassed look, smiling and doing  simultaneously, and I just said "Yeah, she looks pretty good!" and smiled back (admittedly the mom WAS hot, maybe mid-late 30s but definite cougar material). The teenager then asks "Would you go out with my mom?" which in itself, was hilarious and sorta at the same time. So I just said "hell yeah I would!" and they bust up laughing.Sucks that I didn't get to chat longer, light turned green right after I said "hell yeah" and they took a left, I went straight and headed home. Not the strangest moment, but it's not every day some teenager asks you if you think their mom is hot and if you'd date them...
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Aug 5, 2011 15:01
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I had someone tell me (completely unsolicited) that he found out the taste of his brother's semen when the girl he was eating out queefed in his face. Apparently he found out the horrible truth of what exactly had just hit him in the mouth (and who it belonged to) after the girl told him that she had had sex with someone else earlier in the day. True or not, that is indeed a admission to your boss.
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Aug 5, 2011 23:56
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dinozombiesgoRARR posted:The trick in that job would be to pick potential candidates who a) appear friendly and approachable, and b) look like they take it up the rear end. What makes a person look like they take it up the rear end? 
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Aug 6, 2011 02:02
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Today I was in a grocery store and there was a middle-aged woman playing an organ in the middle of the bakery section. That wasn't the weird part. I swear to god she played the Star Fox 64 title theme. That wasn't the weird part. As I passed she winked at me. Not a normal wink, she winked hard. Maybe I made a weird face when she started playing that video game music. I'm still trying to figure this out, and this happened like 7 hours ago.
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Aug 6, 2011 02:12
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timefly posted:What makes a person look like they take it up the rear end? I immediately thought of this: 
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Aug 6, 2011 02:15
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timefly posted:What makes a person look like they take it up the rear end? Walking funny?
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Aug 6, 2011 02:22
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timefly posted:What makes a person look like they take it up the rear end? It was quite bright and sunny out, so I might have been squinting.
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Aug 6, 2011 02:23
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Ozz81 posted:Not the strangest moment, but it's not every day some teenager asks you if you think their mom is hot and if you'd date them... Pretty sure you missed out on a mother/daughter threesome opportunity.
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Aug 8, 2011 08:09
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Iucounu posted:Pretty sure you missed out on a mother/daughter threesome opportunity. Dear Penthouse Forum: I never thought it would happen to me, but when it did, I knew I was having a "Forum" experience. Last summer I was sitting in my car....
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Aug 11, 2011 19:37
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JD Brickmeister posted:Dear I think this could sum up E/N pretty well.
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Aug 11, 2011 23:55
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I just spent the past ten minutes in my pitch black bedroom. After those ten minutes I remarked "you know Lily your fur is a lot softer than normal" My cat then meowed from the other room, and came in. I turned on the light, and there was a different shorthaired cat on my bed, staring at me. I freaked out and it ran off. Turns out we're cat-sitting for the neighbors good to know
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Aug 12, 2011 10:36
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FrancisYorkPatty posted:I just spent the past ten minutes in my pitch black bedroom. After those ten minutes I remarked "you know Lily your fur is a lot softer than normal" This just cracked me up. It's like the PI version of feeling up the wrong girl at a party. Was your cat jealous? Also, 
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Aug 12, 2011 13:09
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That reminds me of the time I woke up to find a cat sitting on my chest only we didn't have a cat. Turns out my brother had gone to work that morning and just left the door ajar for whatever reason, and this friendly little fellow had wandered in and decided to bunk up with me.
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Aug 12, 2011 14:32
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Phylodox posted:That reminds me of the time I woke up to find a cat sitting on my chest only we didn't have a cat. Turns out my brother had gone to work that morning and just left the door ajar for whatever reason, and this friendly little fellow had wandered in and decided to bunk up with me. That is a moment of 
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Aug 12, 2011 15:13
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FrancisYorkPatty posted:I just spent the past ten minutes in my pitch black bedroom. After those ten minutes I remarked "you know Lily your fur is a lot softer than normal" It's like one of those urban legends that ends with the person waking up in the morning and finding the words "THAT WASN'T YOUR DOG" written on the wall in blood.
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Aug 12, 2011 15:32
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Iucounu posted:Pretty sure you missed out on a mother/daughter threesome opportunity. I'd have tagged the mom, sure...no way on the daughter, looked WAY too young (I was 23 at the time, daughter looked *maybe* 16-17, at most) dinozombiesgoRARR posted:It's like one of those urban legends that ends with the person waking up in the morning and finding the words "THAT WASN'T YOUR DOG" written on the wall in blood. Only he looks in the litterbox and sees "wasn't your cat" spelled out with turds and all the cat food is gone
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Aug 12, 2011 15:55
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I work in the medical records department of an eye doctors' office. I recently received a fax from a lab with a patient's culture results: they'd been tested for a chlamydia infection in their eye. It was negative, but
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Aug 13, 2011 05:41
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:I work in the medical records department of an eye doctors' office. I recently received a fax from a lab with a patient's culture results: they'd been tested for a chlamydia infection in their eye. Its actually more common than you'd think...
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Aug 13, 2011 08:14
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Yeah, but that was the first time I'd run across it. How about someone who was washing dishes and had a seizure, causing them to stab themself in the eye with a knife? That's not very common.
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Aug 13, 2011 15:12
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HelloIAmYourHeart posted:How about someone who was washing dishes and had a seizure, causing them to stab themself in the eye with a knife? That's not very common. Well, yeah, because you can only get away with it twice. Still not impressed. 
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Aug 13, 2011 16:49
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Ok, how about this: a woman had a corneal transplant, which is a procedure with a very long healing process--up to a year. Unfortunately for this patient, less than a month after her surgery, her dog hit her in the face, which caused the donor cornea to come loose. She immediately lost the vision in the eye, and as the vitreous humor started leaking out, it became more and more painful, and she ended up getting her entire eye removed a week or so later. I have a ton of these stories.
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Aug 13, 2011 17:03
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Well, another one happened to me today; as I was walking out of a shop in the city centre, I happened to look up and spot someone looking over the side of a multistorey car park. As I was trying to figure out whether he was loving about, he started to swing one leg over the side. The guy next to me clocked what I was looking at and called 999. We spent the next five minutes trying to talk the bloke into putting his leg back onto the other side of the ballustrade. The police arrived pretty quickly and closed the road off, but at one point he was dangling over the side of the railing over a 20 metre drop. After about forty minutes the police had managed to talk him down, and they took him away in an ambulance. In that time, the police had shut off the road. Three members of the public were trying to talk him down before the police arrived. A few more than that were shouting "Jump!" or taking photos on their cameraphones. I think I'm actually a bit more shaken up about it than I thought I was. loving horrific.
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Aug 14, 2011 04:30
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