KRAMER THIS PHONE'S A PIECE OF JUNK, GOODBYE

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > KRAMER THIS PHONE'S A PIECE OF JUNK, GOODBYE

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

jojoinnit posted:

Limit the blacks to 35%?

Actually, what I found most displeasing about the cookies I got (pack of 4) wasn't the unevenness...but the fact that the whole cookie was actually dipped in white frosting, then some extra black frosting was put on top of that...so the black is only important and visible because of the strong white underneath it, Holding it up?

A sad comment on race relations in the United States, i think.

# ? Aug 15, 2011 16:41

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# ? May 14, 2024 08:19

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Alhazred posted:

Ladies and gentlemen. Because we have been exploited by your Magic Pan crepe restaurants, we are hijacking this plane to Cuba!

You wanted to see me, El Presidente?

# ? Aug 15, 2011 17:03

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

I assure you, if I had not been a dictator, I would not have been able to get away with that one.

# ? Aug 15, 2011 17:29

jojoinnit: Dec 13, 2010; Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

DrBouvenstein posted:

Actually, what I found most displeasing about the cookies I got (pack of 4) wasn't the unevenness...but the fact that the whole cookie was actually dipped in white frosting, then some extra black frosting was put on top of that...so the black is only important and visible because of the strong white underneath it, Holding it up?

A sad comment on race relations in the United States, i think.

I think what it's trying to say is that the black can only achieve success these days by stepping over the previous achievements of the White (part of the cookie).

# ? Aug 15, 2011 17:42

Robnoxious: Feb 17, 2004

"I'm not saying anything to you. I'm not sorry. I was never sorry. It
was cashmere. I hate Step Nine! Where's that Rum Raisin? Where is it? Can't
find anything. I need a drink. Ah, daquiri ice. Here we go. What are you
looking at? Get out! Come on, can't you see we're closed?! Get out!"

Robnoxious fucked around with this message at 06:36 on Aug 16, 2011

# ? Aug 15, 2011 18:53

Chexoid: Nov 5, 2009; Now that I have this dating robot I can take it easy.

Robnoxious posted:

"I'm not saying anything to you. I'm not sorry. I was never sorry. It
was cashmere. I hate Step Nine! Where's that Rum Raisin? Where is it? Can't
find anything. I need a drink. Ah, daquiri ice. Here we go. What are you
looking at? Get out! Come on, can't you see we're closed?! Get out!"

He was scatin' and bee-bopping all over me!

Chexoid fucked around with this message at 19:25 on Aug 15, 2011

# ? Aug 15, 2011 19:23

Poque: Sep 11, 2003; =^-^=

It's Goretex. You know about Goretex?

# ? Aug 15, 2011 19:26

Rageaholic: May 31, 2005; Old Town Road to EGOT

Poque posted:

It's Goretex. You know about Goretex?

Cashmere!

# ? Aug 15, 2011 19:46

jojoinnit: Dec 13, 2010; Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

Is that a red dot?

# ? Aug 15, 2011 19:49

Locutus of Bald: Aug 20, 2009; by Debbie Metallica

I'm going to get right to the point. It has come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?

# ? Aug 15, 2011 20:27

Maarak: May 23, 2007; "Go for it!"

Locutus of Bald posted:

I'm going to get right to the point. It has come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?

Was that wrong? Should I have not done that?

# ? Aug 15, 2011 20:38

isnt that right: Dec 8, 2009

I gotta plead ignorance on this one.

# ? Aug 15, 2011 21:32

BlackJosh: Sep 25, 2007

Macaluso posted:

I think I'm gonna throw up

I think I got David Duke and Farrakhan down there

# ? Aug 15, 2011 21:39

Alhazred: Feb 16, 2011

Locutus of Bald posted:

I'm going to get right to the point. It has come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?

I would like to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body.

# ? Aug 15, 2011 21:53

penismightier: Dec 6, 2005; What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.

"And so concerned was he that word of his poor tennis skills might leak out, he chose to offer you his wife as some sort of medieval sexual payola."
"He's new around here."
"So, details?"
"Well, I didn't sleep with her!"
"Because of society, right?"
"Yes, George, because of society."

# ? Aug 15, 2011 22:20

neoboman: Feb 16, 2007

C'mon, kiss her. I won the MVP in '79, I can do whatever I want to!

I like to think if I ever achieve fame I'll have that level of entitlement about everything.

# ? Aug 16, 2011 00:41

Relayer: Sep 18, 2002

"I'm not an orgy guy!! Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything! I'd have to dress different, I'd have to act different, I'd have to grow a mustache and get all sorts of robes and lotions. I'd need a new bedspread, new curtains and I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends, I'd have to get orgy friends... I'm not ready for it."

# ? Aug 16, 2011 01:03

neoboman: Feb 16, 2007

I almost got to the E once, but I blacked out. I woke up a few hours later in a ditch and the tank was full. I don't know who did it... and I never got to thank them.

# ? Aug 16, 2011 02:32

Robnoxious: Feb 17, 2004

neoboman posted:

C'mon, kiss her. I won the MVP in '79, I can do whatever I want to!

Who does this guy think he is?

# ? Aug 16, 2011 06:37

GET MONEY: Sep 7, 2003

He's my butler!

# ? Aug 16, 2011 07:00

Kull the Conqueror: Apr 8, 2006; Take me to the green valley,
lay the sod o'er me,
I'm a young cowboy,
I know I've done wrong

penismightier posted:

"And so concerned was he that word of his poor tennis skills might leak out, he chose to offer you his wife as some sort of medieval sexual payola."
"He's new around here."
"So, details?"
"Well, I didn't sleep with her!"
"Because of society, right?"
"Yes, George, because of society."

ANOTHER GAME FOR MILOS!

# ? Aug 16, 2011 07:09

MINT WIZARD: Apr 25, 2007; This isn't going to stop until Pictionary bans the word windmill.

Robnoxious posted:

Who does this guy think he is?

I'm Keith Hernandez. :smuggo:

# ? Aug 16, 2011 14:46

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

safety dan posted:

I'm Keith Hernandez.

KEITH HERNANDEZ?!

# ? Aug 16, 2011 14:56

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

DrBouvenstein posted:

KEITH HERNANDEZ?!

# ? Aug 16, 2011 14:58

mojo1701a: Oct 9, 2008; Oh, yeah. Loud and clear. Emphasis on LOUD!
~ David Lee Roth

DrBouvenstein posted:

KEITH HERNANDEZ?!

Nice game, pretty boy :smug:

# ? Aug 16, 2011 15:19

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

DrBouvenstein posted:

KEITH HERNANDEZ?!

Unfortunately the immutable laws of physics contradict the whole premise
of your account :colbert:

# ? Aug 16, 2011 15:22

Rageaholic: May 31, 2005; Old Town Road to EGOT

Bonzo posted:

IT

OUT

# ? Aug 16, 2011 15:36

JethroMcB: Jan 23, 2004; We're normal now.
We love your family.

Ehud posted:

Unfortunately the immutable laws of physics contradict the whole premise
of your account

I am saying that the spit could not have come from behind...that there had to have been a second spitter! Behind the bushes, down the gravelly road!

# ? Aug 16, 2011 15:40

potee: Jul 23, 2007; Or, you know.

Not fine.

Ehud posted:

Unfortunately the immutable laws of physics contradict the whole premise of your account

That is one magic loogie.

# ? Aug 16, 2011 15:50

penismightier: Dec 6, 2005; What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.

# ? Aug 16, 2011 17:21

LividLiquid: Apr 13, 2002

Hey, George. The ocean called. They're runnin' outta' shrimp.

# ? Aug 16, 2011 19:06

Riptor: Apr 13, 2003; here's to feelin' good all the time

LividLiquid posted:

Hey, George. The ocean called. They're runnin' outta' shrimp.

IS ANYONE HERE A MARINE BIOLOGIST

# ? Aug 16, 2011 19:11

Alhazred: Feb 16, 2011

Then from out of nowhere a huge title wave lifted, tossed like a cork and I found myself on top of him face to face with the blow-hole. I could barely see from all of the waves crashing down on top of me but I knew something was there so I reached my hand and pulled out the obstruction!

# ? Aug 16, 2011 19:13

potee: Jul 23, 2007; Or, you know.

Not fine.

Riptor posted:

IS ANYONE HERE A MARINE BIOLOGIST

The sea was angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to return soup in a deli.

# ? Aug 16, 2011 19:20

Austen Tassletine: Nov 5, 2010

She told me to "Go to hell" and I took the bus home.

# ? Aug 16, 2011 19:23

BlackJosh: Sep 25, 2007

Alhazred posted:

Then from out of nowhere a huge title wave lifted, tossed like a cork and I found myself on top of him face to face with the blow-hole. I could barely see from all of the waves crashing down on top of me but I knew something was there so I reached my hand and pulled out the obstruction!

...hole in one

# ? Aug 16, 2011 19:29