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I think "You guys took money out of the account that I put on autopay, and now it's overdrafted! Pay my bank fees!" should also be in the greatest-hits collection.
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Aug 14, 2011 21:37
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RICHUNCLEPENNYBAGS posted:I think "You guys took money out of the account that I put on autopay, and now it's overdrafted! Pay my bank fees!" should also be in the greatest-hits collection. Even better is when their due date is the 10th or something, and that's a Friday, and the money doesn't hit until the following Wednesday and they had spent it and somehow we're to blame. "I expected that money to come out on the 10th! And now my account is overdrafted because of YOU PEOPLE!"  I also love the one where they say they never authorized us to do things. "I never authorized you to add that driver to my policy!" *reads part of contract they signed entitled "Additional Discovered Drivers"* "I never authorized you to take additional money out of my account!" *reads part of autopay disclosure that says we can take higher amounts as long as we notify them ten days in advance* "I never received notification!" *reads part of paperless terms of use that states they're A-OK for us to send all communications digitally to them and its not our fault if they don't receive them* It's all there in the terms of use folks. My favorite tool on the job.
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Aug 14, 2011 22:10
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Loving Life Partner posted:Even better is when their due date is the 10th or something, and that's a Friday, and the money doesn't hit until the following Wednesday and they had spent it and somehow we're to blame. This is hilarious from the bank side. "You took that payment out too late, all the money was gone!" "Well firstly, we just respond to the request from the direct debit recipient, we don't SEND anything, they come and take it. Secondly, if you knew the thing hadn't been taken, why did you withdraw the money?" I lost track of the number of times I had to explain to someone that "use ATMs/debit card transactions until cannot do any more" was really not the best way of managing their money, especially not with direct debits set up on the account. I swear, there should never have been a requirement for people to be paid wages or benefits via a bank account. Some people do WAY better with cash.
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Aug 14, 2011 22:18
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Our guidelines tell us that when taking a card payment and running it as a debit, we have to advise that "funds can be withdrawn immediately", which leads me to believe that there was enough complaint from people paying and trying to float funds or something and having it disappear instantly that we had to put in this disclaimer. Also, do you work in banking? The word around my office is that we send a payment request, and after that it's in the banks hands as to when it will hit and get sent to us. And then some kind of "2 business days for the fed to look at it" which is "what?  "
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Aug 14, 2011 22:31
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Loving Life Partner posted:Our guidelines tell us that when taking a card payment and running it as a debit, we have to advise that "funds can be withdrawn immediately", which leads me to believe that there was enough complaint from people paying and trying to float funds or something and having it disappear instantly that we had to put in this disclaimer. Can't speak for US banking, UK is somewhat different by the sounds of it. When a debit card transaction goes through over here, the funds get "earmarked" for it. So you might have £300 in your account, spend £100, and if you go look at your account it will say you have £300 but only £200 available to withdraw. Usually the card transaction gets reconciled the following day, but some retailers seem to hang onto the transaction for a while - if it's not been formally debited from the account within a couple of days, the earmarked funds get released again, taking you back up to your £300. I think over here retailers have something absurd like six months to actually take the money from an account, which is loving ludicrous and can legitimately screw you up. I mean sure, if it's within the same month it's annoying but you can't really complain, but I had a meal I bought in january get taken from my credit card in something like May. Because I actually keep accounts, it wasn't too big a deal as I was still half expecting it to come out; all completely legit, and I don't mind paying for what I've eaten, but you can be sure I wrote the restaurant a stroppy letter and haven't been back since.
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Aug 14, 2011 22:56
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Yeah, six months. The six years for cheque one really fucks people off on the few occasions it happens.
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Aug 15, 2011 01:38
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RICHUNCLEPENNYBAGS posted:Really? I thought the normal call center deal was they tell you when you can come, when you can leave, when you can take a 30-second piss break, etc. I'm really surprised at how lovely shift scheduling apparently is most places. Where I work they send the available shifts out as text messages and you respond saying which ones you want to work. You just get a message like "Offering shifts 900-1600 Mon, Tue, Wed" and you send back "YYN" or whatever. Some computer magic handles it. We also don't have to sign out for toilet breaks, and although our breaks are unpaid we have a bit of leeway on when we can take them. Harminoff posted:Not when it's four 10 hour days. Three day weekends are awesome. You can actually take little mini vacations whenever you want. 9:00-21:00 three days a week is the best shifts. Fil5000 posted:"YOU CHARGE ME FOR EVERYTHING! WHERE DO I SEND THE BILL FOR MY TIME THAT I'M WASTING ON THESE CALLS?" I work for a market research company, so we get the slight variation on this: "Do you have time to do a quick survey at the moment?" "Are you going to pay me?" or even better: "Do you have time to do a quick survey at the moment?" "Do you get paid to do these surveys?" "Yes." "Well, my time's valuable too, I'm not going to do it unless you pay me." It's five minutes. If you don't want to do it, just say so and I'll move on to someone else. If you're time's too valuable to waste doing a survey unless you get paid for it then maybe you should stop wasting time asking for something you know you're not going to get.
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Aug 15, 2011 08:33
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Tiggum posted:I'm really surprised at how lovely shift scheduling apparently is most places. Where I work they send the available shifts out as text messages and you respond saying which ones you want to work. You just get a message like "Offering shifts 900-1600 Mon, Tue, Wed" and you send back "YYN" or whatever. Some computer magic handles it. These people all think they're so smart when they ask it, too, like theyre the first one to think of such a satisfactory zinger. But you missed the best variation: "HOW MUCH are you going to pay me?" How much? Haha. Please.
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Aug 15, 2011 11:09
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Benzoyl Peroxide posted:These people all think they're so smart when they ask it, too, like theyre the first one to think of such a satisfactory zinger. But you missed the best variation: "HOW MUCH are you going to pay me?" How much? Haha. Please. It's not an unfair question, really. I wouldn't hand $5 over to a corporation just to do it, so why would I willingly waste my time to give information that they are going to make money from? What's my incentive to do the survey?
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Aug 15, 2011 16:18
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Nocheez posted:It's not an unfair question, really. I wouldn't hand $5 over to a corporation just to do it, so why would I willingly waste my time to give information that they are going to make money from? What's my incentive to do the survey? I think "What's in it for me?" is a better question than the enormously smug and self satisfied "How much are you going to pay me?  " that I think is what people are referring to in here. There's a certain superciliousness that goes along with the question that makes you want to smash things.
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Aug 15, 2011 16:30
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Nocheez posted:It's not an unfair question, really. I wouldn't hand $5 over to a corporation just to do it, so why would I willingly waste my time to give information that they are going to make money from? What's my incentive to do the survey? Because expecting direct compensation for every little thing you do is silly. What reward for chatting 4 minutes on the phone would you be expecting?
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Aug 15, 2011 18:23
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KOMI posted:Because expecting direct compensation for every little thing you do is silly. What reward for chatting 4 minutes on the phone would you be expecting?
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Aug 15, 2011 18:33
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Where I work if you said "take me off your list" and hung up you would not be taken off. Because said list doesn't even exist. As for incentives, that's hard to answer. It depends what the survey is for. I've done plenty of work for government departments, for video game companies, airlines, political groups, or just for the company itself. Your incentive is simply to be an anonymous representative for your industry/age group/local area/etc. SOMEtimes whoever comissioned the survey will have an actual incentive in the form of a high street shopping voucher or similar but that's not so common. Also I wouldn't just hang up on someone, even if they did cold call. It's no bother to politely decline and say goodbye. It is still another person on the other end.
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Aug 16, 2011 00:35
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Benzoyl Peroxide posted:Also I wouldn't just hang up on someone, even if they did cold call. It's no bother to politely decline and say goodbye. It is still another person on the other end. I have done this, and have literally had the guy call me back every single time I hung up on him for a full five minutes before I left the phone off the hook. Each time he shouted abuse at me for hanging up on him. 
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Aug 16, 2011 01:23
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I just tell the survey people, "I don't do surveys with a company that doesn't disclose its full CallerID information." Needless to say, i don't do a lot of surveys.
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Aug 16, 2011 01:26
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Chicken Doodle posted:I have done this, and have literally had the guy call me back every single time I hung up on him for a full five minutes before I left the phone off the hook. Each time he shouted abuse at me for hanging up on him. Sounds like someone snapped!
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Aug 16, 2011 10:14
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Cold callers do ask for it sometimes. A few months ago I needed to renew my car insurance so was going through all the comparison websites. I swear to god I unticked every "Hurr yes please share my info with cold callers" box - maybe I missed one, maybe some sites just aren't very scrupulous, but whatever I ended up being cold called. Hello! I'm calling from Scumbag Warranties - I notice that your car's warranty has expired and you need to renew it. Can I ask where you got this number please? From an insurance comparison website. Oh, right. Well I'm sure you have my details in front of you then, does it say when the car was first registered? Er, yes. 1998. Correct. No thanks, I do not want a warranty for my 13 year old vehicle. Please can you place my number on your do not call list. Thanks, goodbye.A couple of things here: - "need to renew it" - that's a lovely scare tactic - They had the age of the car, who the hell buys a warranty on a 13 year old car? These people could save themselves a lot of hassle from people less polite than me if they'd just apply some common sense to the numbers they're dialling out to.
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Aug 16, 2011 11:00
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rolleyes posted:These people could save themselves a lot of hassle from people less polite than me if they'd just apply some common sense to the numbers they're dialling out to. Sure, they could save themselves some hassle, but then they might lose out on a sale!! In all seriousness, a call like that wastes maybe half a minute, and the agent's going to be on another call within 20 seconds after that one if they're using a decent predictive dialer. There's no real point (from a sales perspective) in removing leads like you, especially since that scare tactic will work on many people. Basically, they're a telemarketing company. Getting hassled by the people they call is part of the job- removing data just because of that is not cost-effective.
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Aug 16, 2011 14:20
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I worked for a place that for some reason made us apologize profusely for everything and anything. Guy got busted for a DUI and was in jail and forgot to pay his phone bill? Apologize! Guy didn't realize he was supposed to pay his monthly bill? Apologize! And then if the customer even hinted at wanting to speak to someone "higher up", we were literally told to just grab random people from the call floor and have them take the call. One lady just refused to pay her bill, simply refused, and was in complete shock when the phone service got cut off. She screamed at me how it was illegal and three of her brothers were FBI agents and her uncle was a federal Judge and I was "going to federal prison TOMORROW" I just smiled and informed her that the justice system didn't work that way and she demanded to speak to a supervisor. The same geniuses also had our computer system shut down on a Saturday. We had no access to accounts, verification systems, anything. I suggested sending everyone home, putting up a disclaimer that due to an emergency the systems were down and would resume Monday and then try to filter the calls throughout the departments. Instead, we had to write out account stuff by hand on paper forms, send those in to get processed, and everyone ended up calling Monday anyway. And of course people wrote down wrong account information and took wrong payments, etc. No surprise that place went bankrupt.
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Aug 16, 2011 18:07
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I just had the worst customer service experience with Cox. Jesus loving christ. I had their service for less than two hours before I called in to cancel my account. I finally got some help once I said I was canceling and got transferred to retention. I talked to like 6 people and the final verdict was, "Pay us 30 dollars to diagnose the problem."
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Aug 17, 2011 22:42
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JackRabbitStorm posted:Empty apology or not, it is still an apology and at least some of the customers will appreciate that. I prefer the short and simple "Explain this charge please" that you were talking about, but if they have to be angry and accusatory, I prefer it goes the way I posted and not the way KOMI posted. Then again, we are call center goons, and we all know those are far and few between. When I say I'm sorry for something like this, I make sure you know I don't mean it. Tone of voice is everything, but its one thing I'm not going to get in trouble over. It works like this. If you complain to my boss that I wasn't polite, and he asks what I said, or pulls the call, I said I'm sorry. I win.  I'm really good at this.On the flip side, if your a human being who can control your anger, you will get me to fight for you. I have in the last month gone to my boss to get things for customers who I felt deserved them. At any point if they had given me a line like your example, I'd have given them company policy, listened to them bitch, and been done with it. For example. One user had an issue with his router. Our retarded installer advised the customer to pin reset it, which wiped the settings for his wireless. The customer did not know how to reconfigure it, lost the setup disk, and the router was out of manufacturer warranty. I got the customer a credit for a month of internet service which would cover the cost of him having to replace the router. I had to argue with my boss that just because it was his router doesn't mean our tech can give out stupid advice. Customer got $60 from us because he was cool and really made me feel for his situation. Other situation was a customer's cable modem, well someone cloned the mac address. meaning another modem in our system was reporting the same unique mac id, which was causing the customer who owned the modem and paid for service to not have connection. Problem was the customer owned the modem, so technically it was his responsibility to replace it. Basically we can't track down the physical location of a cloned modem, the only thing we can do is disabled access to that mac address, which has the unfortunate problem of also shutting off the real customer. I told my boss we needed to swap this guy a new modem even though it was his as it was not his fault this happened. If he'd have given me the "its not your fault but I'm going to make you listen to my miserable poo poo anyway spiel" He'd have gotten "I'm sorry but we can't replace it, you can buy a new modem or lease one from us." Just don't go there. The first person you speak to has the least power and listens to the most poo poo. Don't give them more poo poo. Tell them your issue, and see what they can do for you. If they can't do what you need them to, ask for their superior. If they give you attitude or argue with you? Then let them have it. But don't start it. They'll try very hard to not help you in a way that they won't get in trouble for it, and believe me, we can.
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Aug 18, 2011 16:42
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Tennis Ball posted:I just had the worst customer service experience with Cox. Jesus loving christ. I had their service for less than two hours before I called in to cancel my account. I finally got some help once I said I was canceling and got transferred to retention. I'd love to hear more about this. I don't work for Cox, but I do work for a cable company. By the info you've given, I'm assuming you just got installed for some services and they weren't working? I can't imagine what they'd charge you $30 for, unless it was to send a tech out. I know with our company, if someone opts to do a self install of services to avoid an installation fee and it fails, then they go right back to having to pay for an installation. Wouldn't happen to be a situation like that would it?
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Aug 18, 2011 17:08
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My agency conducts some financial courses needed for people to file for bankruptcy, forebearance and HUD counseling. There are many others who do this across the country. Today I had this MENSA member on the phone. "Hi, I paid someone else to take this class that my attorney had set me up to do with you already. Can I get my certificate for completion still?""No, ma'am, you need to call that other agency to get the certificate since you completed it with them.""But I don't know their number or even their name. Could you give me a list of those other agencies?""So you think we keep a list of other agencies to refer our clients' business away from us?""Yes""No, ma'am, we do not do that. We do not have the time or energy to keep up with those competitors especially since many of them are fly-by-night." "That's ridiculous!" And then she hung up in a huff.
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Aug 18, 2011 18:57
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I hate echo. When I can hear my self clearly, but 1 - 1.5 seconds lag, it fucks with me so much. Its like I am getting interruped, by myself.
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Aug 18, 2011 19:29
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JackRabbitStorm posted:I hate echo. Oh I loving hate that plus the sound of my own voice freaks me out. I get annoyed with clients who don't seem to understand how irritating it is.
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Aug 18, 2011 19:51
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jassi007 posted:I'd love to hear more about this. I don't work for Cox, but I do work for a cable company. By the info you've given, I'm assuming you just got installed for some services and they weren't working? I can't imagine what they'd charge you $30 for, unless it was to send a tech out. The list of problems goes on, let me begin: 1) The sales rep could not find my address in the system, even though I have had Cox internet before. It took a long loving time for him to get me up and running. He finally found it. 2) I also wanted to add another address to my account, my girlfriend's apartment, but they couldn't find her address at all and told me there was no way for her to get internet if they couldn't find her address, even though she lives in the building right next to me and other people in her building have internet. It wasn't an issue of it not being provided, the person on the phone just couldn't work the program correctly. I gave up on this avenue, GF does not have internet. 3) Once he activated my account I couldn't get online. They jump straight to it being a problem with my modem. Not in a "its hooked up wrong" type way but a, "yeah you need to buy our special modem." type bullshit. 4) This run around continued forever, and then I find out I have a "connection fee" that the sales guy on the phone didn't mention to me that I also must pay. 5) Finally after being apathetic dicks this entire time they tell me 30 dollars to send a tech out. The 30 dollars isn't what pissed me off. If the customer service hadn't been just "well gently caress you buddy" type stuff, I'd have been more than happy with the fee, but dealing with them from the start was like pulling teeth. The 30 charge for a tech just pushed me over the edge, their lovely customer service was the real problem. I called in to cancel my account and the retention department waived the 30 charge and the tech came out today and fixed it (problem on their end inside the cable box). Since he was the only friendly and competent person I dealt with I called in after he left and said he was awesome and he kept me from cancelling.
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Aug 18, 2011 21:19
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The all time greatest response I got when talking about line interference: "Sir, I'm having trouble hearing you, you kinda got washed out" "Yeah, I have my window down and I'm driving" "..." "........." *background noise continues unabated* *customer continues trying to talk through it*
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Aug 18, 2011 22:10
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jassi007 posted:Just don't go there. The first person you speak to has the least power and listens to the most poo poo. Don't give them more poo poo. Tell them your issue, and see what they can do for you. If they can't do what you need them to, ask for their superior. If they give you attitude or argue with you? Then let them have it. But don't start it. They'll try very hard to not help you in a way that they won't get in trouble for it, and believe me, we can. Exactly. If someone starts bitching at me from the beginning, I'm going get very cold and matter of fact, and I will not search and tear my hair out trying to find you something that will fix your issue. I will repeat the same thing over and over till you get it through your thick skull that there is nothing I can do for you. If you're cool, I will do anything I can. I had a guy call in who just could not afford his student loans, and even though he was incredibly frustrated and it was a hard call, it was obvious that he was mad at the situation and wasn't taking it out on me at all. I found an obscure bit on a repayment plan, and told him flat out that it was a stretch, but still. I found him some option, because he was cool about it. Also, I called into Geico, and the girl who answered was awesome. Super nice, friendly despite working at 10 at night and actually sounded thrilled to help me. I told her I'd like to tell her supervisor what an awesome customer service rep she was, and I'm pretty sure I made her day. Hell, even her supervisor sounded pleasantly surprised that I was being complimentary. Seriously though, always tell the supervisor that the person is doing a good job if they are, it means so much.
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Aug 19, 2011 04:43
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Loving Life Partner posted:The all time greatest response I got when talking about line interference: I don't understand these people who try to talk on the phone in noisy environments. If my phone rings when I'm in a room with other people or outside or whatever, the first thing I do is step into a quiet room so I can hear what the person calling me is saying, but I've called people who've answered their phones in factories, in the same room as noisy machinery. "Sorry, what do you want? I can't hear what you're saying, there's noisy machinery here. What? I said I can't hear you. Look, you'll have to call back later, it's too noisy." Why did you even answer the phone? What did you think was going to happen?
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Aug 19, 2011 06:48
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Tennis Ball posted:The list of problems goes on, let me begin: That is fair enough. I don't know much about what kind of systems Cox uses. I know in our system, its pretty easy to diagnose if its a line issue, modem issue, or something else. Most of the time its a line issue, and we can check data on the server. upstream, downstream, signal to noise ratio, and if the modem is loosing connectivity to the server. It is I'm sure industry wide to have a service call fee unless you pay a monthly wire maintenance, but with our company, the rule is if it is our companies problem, ie our lines or equipement, we waive the fee. So generally when I tell someone they need a tech, i also tell them why, and that its an issue that a fee shouldn't apply for. Servicability isn't my department though, thats all customer service. Though we do have a form to submit a servicability request if we don't have the address. Sure your right there is no logical reason your girlfriends apt. couldn't be serviced. They should have told you something like "its not in our system so we'll escalate it to the tech department and have them check. I'm sure your correct and we can service it, but they have to check and then put the address in our system." Anywho, good to hear you got it worked out, sucks that you had a stupid customer service experience. Those are right up there with my leats favorite calls, where I end up holding the wrong end of a coworkers stupidity.
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Aug 19, 2011 21:03
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We currently have some bonus hiatus at the moment, they accrue but the non-sales ones don't get paid out at the moment. Something to do with new management and business ethics, instead of taking it before the relevant procurement department to get permission the old account executive decided to just pay it out and just put it as a business expense. I don't understand the particulars or the accounting, but the new account executive decided she wasn't comfortable doing this. I know it sucks; but she had the balls to tell it to our faces and made sure we knew it was only her fault this was happening. So, awful as it is I'm ok with the honesty. But it's all anyone has been talking about for the past month now and I don't want to hear about it anymore. There are still 2 months until we get are supposed to be paid it anyway and our sales bonuses will still be paid anyway. I earn more from the sales than I do from my stat bonuses by far, and so do most people. There is just no point being sour with the situation for this long, just makes you wanna leave the job. In great news for myself though, I'm being screened to be a Senior Adviser. Technically I'm not supposed to be eligible, but my manager spoke on my behalf and has been so helpful. I'm in the final nine, not sure what happens at this point but I've already taken my first test and I'm expecting my calls to be monitored. So exciting!
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Aug 23, 2011 14:55
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quote:Kelly was friendly and resolved the issue competently however I feel saying "cool" at the end of the call is childish and not businesslike. Generally I am pleased with the service and support supplied by [company]. detractor for saying 'cool'
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Aug 23, 2011 23:17
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kells posted:detractor for saying 'cool' Wow, what a dick move on his part.
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Aug 24, 2011 00:10
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Well, gee, I had this down well enough to earn their stupid performance bonuses and now they have changed the QA form and I am failing all of them for not asking "How are you?" or saying "I'm sorry to hear about your problem." Not building enough rapport or whatever. Give me a loving break.
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Aug 24, 2011 05:11
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RICHUNCLEPENNYBAGS posted:Well, gee, I had this down well enough to earn their stupid performance bonuses and now they have changed the QA form and I am failing all of them for not asking "How are you?" or saying "I'm sorry to hear about your problem." Not building enough rapport or whatever. Give me a loving break. Yeah. I went above and beyond to solve a customers issue. I failed my quality monitoring because I didn't ask them for their name before asking for their account number and because I didn't verbally verify the phone on file, even though it was on my caller id
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Aug 24, 2011 05:17
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I just don't get it. It used to be we had the QA which was all about following the business rules, then handle and customer satisfaction surveys. Now, they still have those, except the QA is like 70% fluffy bullshit intended to increase customer satisfaction, and completely subjective. I mean, I imagine the reason they are changing it is to keep more people from earning performance bonuses, and not whatever bullshit they put in the slideshow about it, since they have been going on about being over on costs.
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Aug 24, 2011 05:21
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Our QA is the same. I could honest not help a person at all on the phone, but as long as I say all their stupid key words and verification guidelines I pass. From an agent standpoint it seems like what they should be looking for is if you resolved the customers issue, and how satisfied the customer was. Not how many times you say sorry. I guess that is why I am just an agent and not a manager at all. Oh the customer was really happy, and you resolved their issue in two minutes. To bad you forgot to get their zipcode, you fail!
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Aug 24, 2011 05:43
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I wish it were like that, but instead it's all completely subjective junk like 30% for whether you show "empathy."
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Aug 24, 2011 05:54
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RICHUNCLEPENNYBAGS posted:I wish it were like that, but instead it's all completely subjective junk like 30% for whether you show "empathy." See, here's what I don't like. I understand why they have us over-apologize and act over-interested with customers who have never called in before, but I sometimes get calls from people who know the routine and just want to get through the call as quickly as possible (think secretaries, other companies, etc). I can sense these people actually getting annoyed if I take too long with niceties, and it just ticks me off that I'm going to have to endure a lecture about engaging the customer just because I tried to get through the call as quickly as I could with them. I think my manager senses that I'm getting burned out... She warned me about getting repetitive and formulaic during calls (as if certain customers care), and told me to talk to her if I felt burned out. I don't want to take that opportunity though, because I think I would just be complaining about something really frivolous that she can't really change.
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Aug 24, 2011 06:56
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Our QA will only listen to calls that are over a couple of minutes, and say under ten. So when I have people like that I blast through the call and it's not a problem. Monday I actually took 20 calls an hour in cable troubleshooting. I hate doing it to people, but I get paid per call, and it is the only way I can make an ok wage. "Hi my box doesn't work, says error blah blah" "Ok, I'll reset it, just leave it alone for 10 minutes and check it again. Should be working for you. Anything else" Most calls I just transfer though. We lost a few departments, and with the department I am in I am not able to do a lot of simple things like adding a discount, removing some services, troubleshooting phone or hsi. I'd say 60% of my calls I have to transfer. But hey, $1.25 a call + the occasional sale commission isn't to bad I guess.
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Aug 24, 2011 07:31
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