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bouncyman posted:Also, why the hell does Dany believe everythign Quaithe says? How did Quaithe gain so much of Dany's confidence?
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Aug 31, 2011 17:59
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Am I the only person with the Wildcards tag that didnt go out and buy the book yet? IRQ, I'm lookin at you. I know a lot of people said they were going to boycott, and I want to know how many people really did.
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Aug 31, 2011 19:32
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Here's what's going to happen. Jon Snow is a Targ and therefore of royal blood. Because he got stabbed all over and died, the red lady has her royal blood to summon a dragon. The dragon is hinted to actually be Jon Snow reborn because people constantly refer to him as "that bastard dragon." He basically burns down everything from the Twins to well beyond the Wall. Also a certain white direwolf rides on top of him. It turns out everyone in Mereen are dead and can never actually escape purgatory despite their plans to "eventually" go to Westeros. The Ironborn continue being worthless. Bran fulfills his destiny and becomes every tree. Arya returns to Westeros and kills Cersei, but is killed herself by Zombie-Mountain. Luckily she wargs herself into Ser Pounce and becomes a part of the Kingsguard. Tommen becomes the best king Westeros has ever known and comically avoids constant assassination attempts by Varys without ever noticing a thing. And no one can prove me wrong for years.
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Aug 31, 2011 19:32
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bouncyman posted:Also, why the hell does Dany believe everythign Quaithe says? How did Quaithe gain so much of Dany's confidence? Does this look like the face of a liar to you?  
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Aug 31, 2011 20:30
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Spermy Smurf posted:Am I the only person with the Wildcards tag that didnt go out and buy the book yet? No tag, but I'm a whiny non-buyer. I'll end up borrowing it from a slow-reading friend or something when my enjoyment of the spoilers and bitterness here gets to be not enough anymore. In short, I'm waiting until the bad thread returns to wrap[e] me up in its cold dead hands because I am angry about GRRM's perceived work ethic. Also multi-year cliffhangers piss me the gently caress off.
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Aug 31, 2011 21:56
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Professor Wayne posted:Here's what's going to happen. Jon Snow is a Targ and therefore of royal blood. Because he got stabbed all over and died, the red lady has her royal blood to summon a dragon. The dragon is hinted to actually be Jon Snow reborn because people constantly refer to him as "that bastard dragon." He basically burns down everything from the Twins to well beyond the Wall. Also a certain white direwolf rides on top of him. It turns out everyone in Mereen are dead and can never actually escape purgatory despite their plans to "eventually" go to Westeros. The Ironborn continue being worthless. Bran fulfills his destiny and becomes every tree. Arya returns to Westeros and kills Cersei, but is killed herself by Zombie-Mountain. Luckily she wargs herself into Ser Pounce and becomes a part of the Kingsguard. Tommen becomes the best king Westeros has ever known and comically avoids constant assassination attempts by Varys without ever noticing a thing. In fact, if you hurry, you can probably publish "The Wands of Winter" with a few minor typographical errors (John Snow, Bran Stork, Lorass Tyrell, etc..) and pass it off as the real thing sloppily edited, fooling for several years people such as those who didn't realize Renly and Loras were gay.
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Aug 31, 2011 22:25
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NihilCredo posted:Does this look like the face of a liar to you? Does it matter? I thought Quaithe wore a mask.
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Aug 31, 2011 23:04
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Spermy Smurf posted:Am I the only person with the Wildcards tag that didnt go out and buy the book yet? Nope, you're not alone.  (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Aug 31, 2011 23:27
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bouncyman posted:
Almost at the halfway point, and it is nuts that Quaithe's poo poo gets more screen time (page time?) than her loving dragons. You know that whole blood-of-the-dragon, mother-of-dragons, dragons as the whole reason she still exists thing? Yeah, lets just set that aside for this book and focus on her pining over a guy with a gold tooth and loving pointless prophesies of a minor character. Also, lets have her go from having the most powerfully baddassed unsullied army, to worrying herself to sleep that she cannot defend a single loving city. Dany should have been killed off in AGoT.  Also: cyvasse Fog Tripper fucked around with this message at 23:51 on Aug 31, 2011 |
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Aug 31, 2011 23:47
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Not defending Dany's chapters or anything, but you do get some proper dragon action at the end.
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Sep 1, 2011 00:23
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How can you complain about how much page time something gets when you haven't read half the book?
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Sep 1, 2011 00:31
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I bet Qaithe is all burnt to poo poo too.
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Sep 1, 2011 00:40
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I would buy a book that was just a Tom and Jerry-esque story about Tommen constantly avoiding assassination attempts from Varys. But only if it takes 6 years to write.
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Sep 1, 2011 00:44
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Daario is loving awesome, stop being mean to ~my Daario~ The answer to winter food shortages: neeps and Freys.
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Sep 1, 2011 01:15
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Junkenstein posted:Not defending Dany's chapters or anything, but you do get some proper dragon action at the end. Yes, i thought two lines about dragons was well worth the rest of the chapter about leaking red and brown over plains.
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Sep 1, 2011 01:37
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Hot Dog Day #31 posted:I would buy a book that was just a Tom and Jerry-esque story about Tommen constantly avoiding assassination attempts from Varys. But only if it takes 6 years to write. Maybe something like inspector gadget with ser pounce as brain and varys as claw.
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Sep 1, 2011 03:22
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MonsterUnderYourBed posted:Yes, i thought two lines about dragons was well worth the rest of the chapter about leaking red and brown over plains. Speaking of that chapter, there's something I don't get re: Dany being fireproof. At the very start of the chapter: quote:It took Dany half the morning to climb down. By the time she reached the bottom she was winded. Her muscles ached, and she felt as if she had the beginnings of a fever. The rocks had scraped her hands raw. They are better than they were, though, she decided as she picked at a broken blister. Her skin was pink and tender, and a pale milky fluid was leaking from her cracked palms, but her burns were healing. Later on, however: quote:The fire burned away my hair, but elsewise it did not touch me. It had been the same in Daznak’s Pit. Did she get burned or not? Is there something I'm missing here?
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Sep 1, 2011 03:30
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HisMajestyBOB posted:After re-reading some of the prophecies, it really looks to me that Jon Snow is coming back as a wight: Ok, after reading this I've decided I know exactly how the books will end. !!!SPOILERS for books 6-7, you have been warned!!! Jon will come back as a wight basically like you said, and somehow end up at Hardhome ('amidst smoke and salt'). There will be some kind of literal or metaphorical stone dragon there. Melisandre will pursue him somehow, and he's gonna stab her ('when the red star bleeds'). She will be his Nissa Nissa. Then he'll somehow end up defeating the Others and ruling the whole North, with the help of Bran and possibly his other siblings. Somewhere along the way he will find out he's a secret Targ. Dany will never go back to Westeros, at least not to stay. She'll conquer the East and end up at Asshai (somebody has to go there eventually). The Shadow is some kind of dangerous realm that parallels the North. It's always dark in the Shadow, and there's some kind of terrible creature like the Others there that's repelled by light (from fire). Hence the red priests. She'll end up conquering whatever lives in the Shadow and ruling from Asshai. Aegon successfully conquers Westeros by uniting the common people and the religious factions under his banner. They do this because he's such a super Mary Sue awesome leader who is also a Targ, and they're sick of having each kingdom fight over the throne all the time. He will rule Westeros, and possibly the Free Cities and Valyria. They're the three dragon heads: Dany rides the black one, Jon rides the white one, Aegon rides the green one. !!!END SPOILERS for books 6-7!!! Sorry to have ruined it for you. At least you don't have to wait 16 years for the next book! Ecco the Dolphin fucked around with this message at 03:41 on Sep 1, 2011 |
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Sep 1, 2011 03:37
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builds character posted:Maybe something like inspector gadget with ser pounce as brain and varys as claw. Varys sitting there stroking Balerion the cat coming up with increasingly absurd schemes.
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Sep 1, 2011 03:50
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Quantify! posted:How can you complain about how much page time something gets when you haven't read half the book? How can anyone comment on anything if the series is not complete? Sorry if my as-I-read commentary upsets you.
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Sep 1, 2011 03:57
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Fog Tripper posted:How can anyone comment on anything if the series is not complete? Sorry if my as-I-read commentary upsets you.
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Sep 1, 2011 04:03
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Fog Tripper posted:How can anyone comment on anything if the series is not complete? Books in a series are still expected to stand on their own as satisfying. Halves of books aren't.
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Sep 1, 2011 04:08
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To be honest Fog Tripper might as well jump the gun, since hes not going to be satisfied by the whole book anyway.
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Sep 1, 2011 08:07
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Don't have to worry about the next book starting with "The" - the next books title has been announced: A Guild of Men. Looks loving kick rear end.
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Sep 1, 2011 09:18
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Fog Tripper posted:How can anyone comment on anything if the series is not complete? Sorry if my as-I-read commentary upsets you. Dude, you are making complaints about the entirety of the book before having finished it. That would be like me opining that Arya and Tyrion don't get enough chapters in the series as a whole even though I haven't read the next few books.
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Sep 1, 2011 09:35
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Yeah, talking about how many pages something gets when you haven't read the book is particularly moronic considering that for all you know there could be considerably more dragon-time later on. It boggles my mind that you post here all the time yet still haven't read the book.
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Sep 1, 2011 11:54
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Ecco the Dolphin posted:Books in a series are still expected to stand on their own as satisfying. Halves of books aren't. You get the irony here given that Dance is just half a book, right?
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Sep 1, 2011 13:19
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Rootbeer Baron posted:You get the irony here given that Dance is just half a book, right? It's not "half a book", it simply follows different POVs than the other books.
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Sep 1, 2011 13:33
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Jakabite posted:Yeah, talking about how many pages something gets when you haven't read the book is particularly moronic considering that for all you know there could be considerably more dragon-time later on. It boggles my mind that you post here all the time yet still haven't read the book. I think he's been commenting on the spoilers since the beginning, so he even KNOWS the dragons play important parts in the last third.
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Sep 1, 2011 14:07
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To be fair, I don't think Feast nor Dance really work as their own books. The only plotline that really feels complete is King's Landing, and that's only if you combine the two. Edit: And Dorne/Quentyn(lol), I guess. Junkenstein fucked around with this message at 14:14 on Sep 1, 2011 |
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Sep 1, 2011 14:11
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Hey guys, I am into the book now. Looks like Tyrion will have some dwarf on dwarf sex. Things are looking up!
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Sep 1, 2011 15:14
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Fog Tripper posted:Hey guys, I am into the book now. Looks like Tyrion will have some dwarf on dwarf sex. The dwarf sex with the dog and pig is probably the highlight of the books.
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Sep 1, 2011 15:25
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And we will finally know where whores goes.
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Sep 1, 2011 16:08
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oogyboogs posted:I bet Qaithe is all burnt to poo poo too. Ahem its kinda obvious that Quaithe is Dany from the future, just as Jaqen H'gar is Arya from the future and Yezzan zo Qaggaz is grrm sent through an interdimensional rift.
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Sep 1, 2011 16:51
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Is tales of dunk and egg any good?
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Sep 1, 2011 16:52
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The Belgian posted:Is tales of dunk and egg any good?
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Sep 1, 2011 17:45
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If Dany never actually goes to Westeros with at least one dragon to fry at least one Lannister I'm going to be very upset. It will be like a seven-book-long extended version of Quentyn Martell's plotline.
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Sep 1, 2011 18:54
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Ross posted:If Dany never actually goes to Westeros with at least one dragon to fry at least one Lannister I'm going to be very upset. It will be like a seven-book-long extended version of Quentyn Martell's plotline. I refuse to be satisfied until we get a scene of Dany flying over King's Landing riding Viserion, who is riding Rhaegal, who is riding Drogon.
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Sep 1, 2011 18:57
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who is riding Hodor
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Sep 1, 2011 19:09
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The Belgian posted:Is tales of dunk and egg any good? it is the best Dunk is like really loving awesome and he's a very real character. I think my favorite thing about him is that he's like this really honorable knight but he's just not good with a lance and not that great with a sword either and circumstances conspire to make sure he always kills people in the most thuggish ways conceivable.
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Sep 1, 2011 19:15
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