KRAMER THIS PHONE'S A PIECE OF JUNK, GOODBYE

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > KRAMER THIS PHONE'S A PIECE OF JUNK, GOODBYE

neoboman: Feb 16, 2007

Macaluso posted:

And I'll tell you something else, I'm not even going to ask you. I want to know. But I'm not going to ask. You'll tell me when you feel comfortable...

So what was it? Four hundred? Five hundred? Did you pay five hundred for this? Over six? Can't be seven. Don't tell my you paid seven hundred dollars for this jacket! Did you pay seven hundred dollars for this jacket? Is that what you're saying to me?! You are sick! Is that what you paid for this jacket?! Over seven hundred? What did you pay for this jacket? I won't say anything. I wanna know what you paid for this jacket! Oh my God! A thousand dollars?! You paid a thousand dollars for this jacket?! Alright, fine. I'm walking out of here right now thinking you paid a thousand dollars for this jacket, unless you tell me different.

Oh, ho!

Alright! I'll tell you what, if you don't say anything in the next five seconds, I'll know it was over a thousand...

I paid what it costs

# ? Sep 3, 2011 15:57

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# ? May 14, 2024 10:54

clockworx: Oct 15, 2005; The Internet Whore made me buy this account

Ehud posted:

KRAMER: I'm lookin' at Ray's Pizza. You know where that is?

JERRY: Is it Famous Ray's?

KRAMER: No. It's Original Ray's.

JERRY: Famous Original Ray's?

KRAMER: It's just Original, Jerry!

I'm at the corner of 1st and 1st... How can the same street intersect with itself? It must be at the nexus of the universe!

# ? Sep 3, 2011 17:29

Kevyn: Mar 5, 2003; I just want to smile. Just once. I'd like to just, one time, go to Disney World and smile like the other boys and girls.

Martytoof posted:

If you took the raisins, if you didn't take the raisins ... They weren't even my raisins. I was just curious because it seems like a strange thing to do, to walk into a room, audition, and to walk out with a box of raisins. Anyway, whatever. If you ever want to tell me about it, the door to my office is always opened. In the event that I get an office. You'll come in, we'll talk about the raisins. We'll have a nice laugh.

I always notice the guy taking the raisins now whenever I see that episode.

# ? Sep 3, 2011 18:31

Supreme Allah: Oct 6, 2004; everybody relax, i'm here; Nap Ghost

That was a hell of a thing when Spock died.

# ? Sep 3, 2011 22:39

Relayer: Sep 18, 2002

...plum!

# ? Sep 3, 2011 22:56

Coffee And Pie: Nov 4, 2010; "Blah-sum"?
More like "Blawesome"

The sugar makes my ankles swell up, and I can't dance!

# ? Sep 3, 2011 23:04

BrandNew: May 16, 2007; Get me my BLUE WINDBREAKER!

You think you could keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court! And I dare you to keep me out!

# ? Sep 3, 2011 23:09

LesterGroans: Jun 9, 2009; It's funny...

You were so scary at night.

BrandNew posted:

You think you could keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court! And I dare you to keep me out!

It is literally impossible to not have Jerry Stiller's voice invade your head when you read that.

# ? Sep 4, 2011 02:47

neoboman: Feb 16, 2007

LesterGroans posted:

It is literally impossible to not have Jerry Stiller's voice invade your head when you read that.

You're telling there isn't one place available in all of Del Visto Becko?

# ? Sep 4, 2011 05:53

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

neoboman posted:

You're telling there isn't one place available in all of Del Visto Becko?

You're saying that 90% of the population is undatable?

# ? Sep 4, 2011 05:55

jojoinnit: Dec 13, 2010; Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

DrBouvenstein posted:

You're saying that 90% of the population is undatable?

UNDATABLE!

# ? Sep 4, 2011 06:00

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

jojoinnit posted:

UNDATABLE!

So how are all these people getting together? :confused:

# ? Sep 4, 2011 06:03

neoboman: Feb 16, 2007

DrBouvenstein posted:

So how are all these people getting together?

Alcohol.
*George tilts head in presumed agreement*

# ? Sep 4, 2011 06:04

Huge Liability: Mar 2, 2010

He schnapped me.

# ? Sep 4, 2011 06:06

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Huge Liability posted:

He schnapped me.

Jugdish.

# ? Sep 4, 2011 06:10

Invis: Apr 26, 2010

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister!

# ? Sep 4, 2011 12:47

goodog: Nov 3, 2007

Huge Liability posted:

He schnapped me.

You know I've kiboshed before. And I will...kibosh again.

# ? Sep 4, 2011 12:51

Chexoid: Nov 5, 2009; Now that I have this dating robot I can take it easy.

But no, you had to have the BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG SALAD!

# ? Sep 4, 2011 16:41

MINT WIZARD: Apr 25, 2007; This isn't going to stop until Pictionary bans the word windmill.

Happy

Pappy
?

# ? Sep 4, 2011 17:14

Ash1138: Sep 29, 2001; Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

Poppie's a little sloppy.

# ? Sep 4, 2011 17:25

Gravybong: Apr 24, 2007; Smokin' weed all day. All I do is smoke weed. Every day of my life it's all I do. I don't give a FUCK! Weed.

Elaine, who among us hasn't snuck into the breakroom to nibble on a love newton?

# ? Sep 4, 2011 18:04

thepokey: Jul 20, 2004; Let me start off with a basket of chips. Then move on to the pollo asado taco.

Not shot, dog bite. Woof Woof, not, Bang Bang.

# ? Sep 4, 2011 20:53

Roleplaying Larry: Dec 5, 2008

thepokey posted:

Not shot, dog bite. Woof Woof, not, Bang Bang.

"Is this going to hurt?"

"Yes, very much."

# ? Sep 4, 2011 21:00

Relayer: Sep 18, 2002

That's what I'd like to know about it..

# ? Sep 4, 2011 21:23

Ash1138: Sep 29, 2001; Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

thepokey posted:

Not shot, dog bite. Woof Woof, not, Bang Bang.

Oh this is Smuckers. We share the same affliction.

# ? Sep 4, 2011 21:30

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Ash1138 posted:

Oh this is Smuckers. We share the same affliction.

Want to go for a ride?

C'mon, let's go for a ride! *dangles keys*

# ? Sep 4, 2011 21:54

Supreme Allah: Oct 6, 2004; everybody relax, i'm here; Nap Ghost

This isn't the way to the park!

# ? Sep 4, 2011 21:57

jojoinnit: Dec 13, 2010; Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

Ash1138 posted:

Oh this is Smuckers. We share the same affliction.

What are the symptoms?

Oh it hurts when he swallows. Especially when he drinks orange juice… er, dog food. Juice.

# ? Sep 4, 2011 22:18

MINT WIZARD: Apr 25, 2007; This isn't going to stop until Pictionary bans the word windmill.

...The surgeon left a sponge in me...

# ? Sep 4, 2011 22:47

Leyburn: Aug 31, 2001

Been drinking from the toilet?

# ? Sep 4, 2011 22:51

Chexoid: Nov 5, 2009; Now that I have this dating robot I can take it easy.

*from out the window*

Jerry! Help me Jerryyyy!

# ? Sep 4, 2011 23:25

neoboman: Feb 16, 2007

safety dan posted:

...The surgeon left a sponge in me...

...good luck with that.

Cirrhosis of the liver and... PCP addiction?

# ? Sep 4, 2011 23:26

Kull the Conqueror: Apr 8, 2006; Take me to the green valley,
lay the sod o'er me,
I'm a young cowboy,
I know I've done wrong

I had so much promise. I was personable. I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking but...I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party.

# ? Sep 4, 2011 23:26