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Thia posted:I have done some research on the subject and I do want as low intervention of a birth as possible, assuming everything goes well and the baby and I are both healthy. I guess I just don't really know how to find a doctor that has a similar philosophy. If there's someone you feel comfortable talking with at work, why not ask around? "Hey, I need to find a new ob/gyn, and since my husband and I have started talking about having kids, I wanted to find one who supports minimal interventions; who do you know?" I found my ob by talking to my PCP, who does family practice. (His office is part of a multi-department clinic, like a hospital lite.) I would never let my PCP deliver my baby (he's gung ho about interventions), but he was able to give me an idea of who in the ob/gyn department would fit my personality the best. Something else to note is that even if the ob/gyn is a huge fan of interventions, the hospital is another place to check for being friendly with your desired birth plan. The hospital I want to deliver at has a birth plan checklist that you can fill out when you pre-register, and it's very natural birth friendly, which I like. While I'm not against interventions, it's incredibly reassuring to know that the nursing staff won't try to pressure me into doing things a certain way. vanessa fucked around with this message at 04:06 on Aug 26, 2011 |
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Aug 26, 2011 04:03
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jai Mundi posted:
I think you've pretty much answered your own question, but if you are still unsure think of it this way. Raising kids changes your entire life, but is it worth it in the end to have a child? I don't have a child and I'm not in a position to have one any time soon, but my answer would be yes. Don't let your in-laws dictate how you should live your life, regardless of how much crap you get. Some people just don't want to have kids, and that's fine. I think that the reason you feel on the fence about it is due to outside forces and not necessarily your own feelings. Take the time to figure out how you really feel about it.
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Aug 26, 2011 12:50
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Schweig und tanze posted:It's so weird...it feels like you should be doing more while trying for a baby, yet there's nothing you can really do aside from knowing when you ovulate and having sex. I'm in the crappy waiting period between ovulating and starting my period. I had a teeny little bit of blood yesterday, exactly a week till my period is supposed to start. so I don't know if it was implantation or just some spotting.  I'm in a waiting period, since without BC I am not sure how frequent my periods are yet; last month was 25 days, so we'll see if this month is the same. Just.... waiting. Tried a bunch of ovulation calendars and stuff online, they only sort of agree, so I just have to.. wait. :/
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Aug 26, 2011 17:40
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MoCookies posted:Maybe this is a backwards way of approaching the OB/GYN thing, but maybe start researching epidurals, inductions, natural births, c-sections, and all that birthy-stuff to get an idea of what kind of labor/birth you'd like to ultimately have and what sort of things are important to you. For example, if you're interested in a no-intervention birth (assuming you're low-risk, the baby is healthy, blah blah) then you could look for an OB/GYN who works closely with a birthing center or natural childbirth-friendly hospital, is mid-wife friendly, has a low c-section rate, etc. Agreeing you should think about what you want first and foremost, and look into how the different hospitals do things. For me it was important that I didn't have to share a room, and to get lots of help with breastfeeding. As for prenatal appointments, I think spending an hour with a midwife sounds boring and was quite happy with 15 minute appointments, haha. Just goes to show we all have different preferences! Also, maybe you'll find that you don't care if it's your primary doctor that delivers the baby. Don't get too fixated on that idea, you might not care about that at all. I had the midwife who happened to be on duty and it was fine. The thought of having one particular person deliver my baby never crossed my mind.
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Aug 26, 2011 18:43
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jai Mundi posted:Hi thread. I'm 34 and have been on the pill (Triphasil 28 and generics) since I was 17. My preggo story in a nutshell: I was ambivalent about having kids for a LONG time. Then I kinda went baby-crazy for ~2 weeks, and went about systematically logically convincing + boozing up & seducing my husband. I came back to my senses (like realizing I really enjoy getting to sleep, drink, and travel) and back to being ambivalent about having kids, but WHOOPS I was already pregnant. I just started my 3rd trimester, and now I *am* excited about having this little dude, but I'm still not back to that overwhelming must-have-a-baby feeling. I think that was just hormones + ovulating. Hormones have a lot to do with how I'm feeling about everything these days, but I don't think that actually getting pregnant changes your mind. For us, it was more like, "Well, there's no going back now, so let's do this!" (I realize how unfair poo poo like this is to people who try and try and try to get pregnant for years unsuccessfully, and then there's me and the morons on "16 & Pregnant" getting knocked up willy-nilly.) I think that being able to clearly see some of the big downsides is actually a good thing in the long run. My take is that you should be as realistic as possible about the ups and downs of the whole shebang or you're in for a big letdown (or will be a lovely, selfish parent). Being a parent IS going to be a big pain in the rear end sometimes. Shoot, it already is. Couldn't tell you the last time I slept through the night without having to get up at least twice to pee - it was probably March. Now I'm just hoping I get to sleep through the night sometime in summer of 2012.
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Aug 26, 2011 18:48
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Cathis posted:I'm not quite in the same boat as you, but our boats are going to the same place Good luck, I'm rooting for you  PS - not that you wouldn't, but we're FB friends so keep it on the DL (assuming you remember who I am on FB!)
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Aug 26, 2011 20:45
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MoCookies posted:Being a parent IS going to be a big pain in the rear end sometimes. Shoot, it already is. Couldn't tell you the last time I slept through the night without having to get up at least twice to pee - it was probably March. Now I'm just hoping I get to sleep through the night sometime in summer of 2012. For the record, I don't think that I would be a lovely parent. I had a lovely childhood, and if I just do what my mom did, I will be fine mother. This could be some of the problem. I know whats involved with having a kid, and none of it seems like the good stuff. All poop and screaming and sleep deprivation. ugh.
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Aug 26, 2011 20:51
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jai Mundi posted:Hi thread. I'm 34 and have been on the pill (Triphasil 28 and generics) since I was 17. Unfortunately I think this is one of those things where you have to go through it to see if you end up liking it. Personally, I love it. Maybe it's because of all the years of stress with work and school, or because I have "easy" kids, but I find them way less stressful than work, and have a ton of patience with them. I also thought I only wanted boys, since I felt like I'd have more in common with them. Ended up with two girls, and so far they are awesome. This doesn't apply to the pregnancies though. Not in the "I hate this baby and it's ruining my life" way, but I wasn't in love with it at all. I didn't read the books or have a birth plan other than go to the hospital and let them get the baby out the least painful way possible. It was all just a means to an end and nothing to really be experienced, I guess.
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Aug 26, 2011 20:59
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jai Mundi posted:I assume that you have children now? I don't have children now, however, my husband and I are ready for them. No one but you and your SO should have any bearing on if or when you have kids. Also: I had fertile mucus today but it was tinged with blood. WTF. I'm not due for my period for about a week. (ETA) The ovulation strips are silent. I only had the control line show up. Gumby Orgy fucked around with this message at 07:18 on Aug 27, 2011 |
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Aug 27, 2011 07:15
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MoCookies posted:I really enjoy getting to sleep, drink, and travel. A baby doesn't end your life. I have a 9 month old and have just spent the last six months cruising around Europe. Sleep deprivation doesn't last forever, and there is nothing to stop you drinking as long as you test your breastmilk before you give it to baby (and if you plan on drinking a lot having a sober person babysit). Your life will change, but it won't stop.
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Aug 27, 2011 09:25
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Exelsior posted:A baby doesn't end your life. I have a 9 month old and have just spent the last six months cruising around Europe. Sleep deprivation doesn't last forever, and there is nothing to stop you drinking as long as you test your breastmilk before you give it to baby (and if you plan on drinking a lot having a sober person babysit). Stories like yours make me hopeful that we'll find a way to make it work too. Thanks
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Aug 27, 2011 13:36
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Exelsior posted:A baby doesn't end your life. I have a 9 month old and have just spent the last six months cruising around Europe. Sleep deprivation doesn't last forever, and there is nothing to stop you drinking as long as you test your breastmilk before you give it to baby (and if you plan on drinking a lot having a sober person babysit). Same as Mo said. Most of my friends that have had kids dropped their entire lives as successful women to become stay at home moms. I have too much fun doing what I do to just quit, and I honestly don't want to spend the next 18 years at someone else's beck and call! My biggest concern is actually childcare though, since what I do for work requires me to be out of the area for days or weeks at a time. Obviously in the first x number of months that won't be possible, but at some point I intend to return to working in the field. I can't explain at ALL to the husband how terrified I am of losing my independence, he looks at me like I'm crazy. Not to be sexist, but I don't think men get it, for the most part. At least none of the men in my circles do, they all have stay at home wives. :/
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Aug 27, 2011 15:29
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Cathis posted:Most of my friends that have had kids dropped their entire lives as successful women to become stay at home moms. I am sure you didn't mean it this way, but I have to say, this line really rubs me the wrong way. I am not a less successful woman now that I stay home to raise my children. In my opinion, I am a more successful woman, as I feel a hell of a lot more fulfilled now than I did when I was a career woman. It's totally awesome that you love what you do and don't want to give it up-- and more power to you for making that work-- but it doesn't mean that it's the right choice for all of us. vvv edit: I fully agree-- it was just the wording "successful women" that got me.
Fire In The Disco fucked around with this message at 19:27 on Aug 27, 2011 |
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Aug 27, 2011 16:26
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Here in the US, there often isn't that choice. Between the social and societal pressure to be both a stay at home mom and successful career woman, you are seen as making a bad choice either way. We don't support our women and families should women choose to stay at home or choose to go back to work. I think Cathis (purposely? probably inadvertently) pointed out how others view a choice. On top of that, one must realize that most parents do not have the luxury of choice. A woman might have to quit her job because the cost of child care exceeds the benefit of working. Sometimes people have to go back to work to obtain healthcare for their families because of insurance being tethered to work. Perhaps the family simply cannot afford to have one person not in the traditional workforce. Whatever the reason, none of these really appear to be the result of choice. What kind of choice is it to starve or not have access to healthcare? Neither society nor our legal system protect women and children very well.
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Aug 27, 2011 17:55
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Gumby Orgy posted:Here in the US, there often isn't that choice. Between the social and societal pressure to be both a stay at home mom and successful career woman, you are seen as making a bad choice either way. We don't support our women and families should women choose to stay at home or choose to go back to work. I think Cathis (purposely? probably inadvertently) pointed out how others view a choice. On top of that, one must realize that most parents do not have the luxury of choice. A woman might have to quit her job because the cost of child care exceeds the benefit of working. Sometimes people have to go back to work to obtain healthcare for their families because of insurance being tethered to work. Perhaps the family simply cannot afford to have one person not in the traditional workforce. Whatever the reason, none of these really appear to be the result of choice. What kind of choice is it to starve or not have access to healthcare? Neither society nor our legal system protect women and children very well. This, so much. When we have the baby, my husband will have to retire (he's older than I am) because I make more money and we'd be paying $1000-1500/month for childcare. He'd be working a job he hates, full time, and our kid would have to be in childcare just for him to bring home like $800 after paying that cost plus the cost of gas and tolls every week. It just doesn't make sense, financially. Honestly I have no idea how people have families in NYC when both parents HAVE to work. It'll be tight for us, but we'll manage.
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Aug 27, 2011 21:27
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In other news, apparently I'm ovulating. I guess the test was bad or something because I got a hair up my rear end and retested today and got a positive. Looks like I'm getting laid. It may have been the tons of fertile mucus and the slight pain on the right that tipped me off that I should get testing. Is it normal to ovulate so, so late in your cycle? If I do happen to get my eggo prego'd, would being so close to my menstrual cycle affect my conception chances? Edit: To Alterian VVVVVVV: Oh, definitely. We did it on Thursday night/Friday morning, so today would be a day we'd normally have sex anyway. But because I'm ovulating, "I'm tired" isn't an excuse. 
Gumby Orgy fucked around with this message at 01:16 on Aug 28, 2011 |
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Aug 27, 2011 22:59
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Fire In The Disco posted:I am sure you didn't mean it this way, but I have to say, this line really rubs me the wrong way. I am not a less successful woman now that I stay home to raise my children. In my opinion, I am a more successful woman, as I feel a hell of a lot more fulfilled now than I did when I was a career woman. It's totally awesome that you love what you do and don't want to give it up-- and more power to you for making that work-- but it doesn't mean that it's the right choice for all of us. PS: my mother in law is in town and she's being pushy about grandkids at the moment. It's annoying me and she's here for another week and a half... Cathis fucked around with this message at 23:50 on Aug 27, 2011 |
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Aug 27, 2011 23:48
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Just so you guys know you should be having sex before the strip tests positive as well. There can be a lag time between the hormone being in your blood stream and when it gets to your urine so by the time you test it, it could be too late. Same with monitoring your temp. Once your temp spikes, it usually too late to get sperm up in there to the egg.
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Aug 28, 2011 00:54
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Gumby Orgy posted:Is it normal to ovulate so, so late in your cycle? If I do happen to get my eggo prego'd, would being so close to my menstrual cycle affect my conception chances? As to whether or not it's normal to ovulate later in your cycle is sort of a moot point. Cycles change from cycle to cycle and woman to woman. What is normal for you may not be normal for someone else, and when you ovulate one cycle does not mean you'll ovulate even near that time the next month. I'd say, normal or not, it doesn't really matter that you are ovulating later this cycle. There will be no effect on the pregnancy if you get pregnant this cycle because menstruation doesn't work that way. When you menstruate is determined by when you ovulate, so if you ovulate late, your period will be late. I don't think the book as been mentioned recently, so I'm going to suggest it again. For anyone trying to conceive I highly recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility. My husband and I ended up going to a fertility clinic, but the information that book contains was very helpful in figuring out what was going on in my body and possibilities about why we were having trouble conceiving.
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Aug 28, 2011 18:28
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I'm not sure how late you are in your cycle, but I conceived on a cycle where I ovulated on day 20, which is a week later than a "normal" woman is "supposed" to ovulate. There were cycles I ovulated even later than that, yet still had a nice long luteal phase (which is A Good Thing if you're trying to get pregnant). So as long as everything else is looking good, a long cycle isn't necessarily a bad thing at all, other than just the frustration of wondering "when the gently caress am I going to ovulate?".
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Aug 29, 2011 00:40
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I wish I knew more about my cycle's.. cycle. I am currently suffering from the worst chest breakout I have had since high school 17 years ago. I really hope it's an early pregnancy sign because otherwise, WTF??? :/ Peed on a stick earlier today, nothing. According to the Internet, I have between 1 and 5 days to test in which I will show positive before my period... now if only I was sure when my period would BE. Ordered ovulation strips today. I'm going to go put on a turtleneck now to hide my chest :/
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Aug 29, 2011 04:45
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Cathis posted:I wish I knew more about my cycle's.. cycle. Yeah, I have been having crazy dreams, sore boobs, been bloated like whoa and inhaling every bit of food in sight for a week but I am assuming it's PMS because tests have all been negative.
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Aug 29, 2011 14:46
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Schweig und tanze posted:Yeah, I have been having crazy dreams, sore boobs, been bloated like whoa and inhaling every bit of food in sight for a week but I am assuming it's PMS because tests have all been negative. Same. Yesterday's dream was SO BIZARRE that I was shocked when I woke up. So wrong that I felt a little ill about it. Today I am supposed to be getting my period, if the 25 day cycles continue. So far, nothing, none of the usual "signs" I get within 24 hours of it starting. However, the strips have been negative. On the flip side, I am selfishly hoping to not get pregnant until after November, since that's when my company's week long trip to Vegas is.... this getting knocked up poo poo is harder than it looks! Have ovulation strips arriving today, since it looks like my cycle is inconsistent.
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Aug 31, 2011 14:59
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Cathis posted:Same. Yesterday's dream was SO BIZARRE that I was shocked when I woke up. So wrong that I felt a little ill about it. Today I am supposed to be getting my period, if the 25 day cycles continue. So far, nothing, none of the usual "signs" I get within 24 hours of it starting. However, the strips have been negative. Haha yeah I had one that involved me massacreing crazy pigs by beating them over the head, I was covered in gore and goo. Not pretty! However my period arrived right on time yesterday so it's time to start over for September. Good luck!!
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Aug 31, 2011 15:41
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Schweig und tanze posted:Haha yeah I had one that involved me massacreing crazy pigs by beating them over the head, I was covered in gore and goo. Not pretty! However my period arrived right on time yesterday so it's time to start over for September. Good luck!! ED: FABULOUS... sort of. Period arriving momentarily. At least I can take my muscle relaxant now. Cathis fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Sep 1, 2011 |
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Sep 1, 2011 14:24
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Well, here we go again... On a different note, http://healthland.time.com/2011/09/08/common-painkiller-use-may-be-linked-to-miscarriage-risk/ I have been hearing this (or versions thereof) all over the radio lately, as well. I wonder if I have been affecting my own ability to conceive by taking advil... some of the study seems to think that NSAIDs prevent or hinder implantation. Now I'm really torn... I already gave up my Celebrex because studies showed IT hindered implantation.. now do I have to give up advil as well? I'm going to be a hurting unit without any anti-inflammatories :/
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Sep 8, 2011 15:17
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Cathis posted:Well, here we go again... Ughhhh I've been taking Aleve daily while we have all this rain to get rid of massive sinus headaches. On another note, this is my fertile time according to Fertility Friend and I have just not been in the mood at all this week between work, not feeling well, and having a crapload of stuff to do. Babymakin is hard 
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Sep 8, 2011 16:36
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I was supposed to start my period a while back, but instead got nothing but cramping and some light brownish gunk. I'm still cramping, but as of today I started getting nauseated to all hell. I got sent home from work because they were concerned I was sick. Time to test, I suppose.
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Sep 8, 2011 21:08
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Schweig und tanze posted:On another note, this is my fertile time according to Fertility Friend and I have just not been in the mood at all this week between work, not feeling well, and having a crapload of stuff to do. Babymakin is hard The first two months weren't that bothersome, but now that we're on month three of carefully scheduled sex, it's getting to be annoying. My poor husband is trying so hard, and being super awesome about it. He even brushed his teeth twice before we did it to make sure his breath was as fresh as possible. The up side of this I get to be constantly reminded of how great my husband is, which reminds me of why I want to have kids with him in the first place.
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Sep 8, 2011 21:59
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Cathis posted:I have been hearing this (or versions thereof) all over the radio lately, as well. I wonder if I have been affecting my own ability to conceive by taking advil... some of the study seems to think that NSAIDs prevent or hinder implantation. Now I'm really torn... I already gave up my Celebrex because studies showed IT hindered implantation.. now do I have to give up advil as well? I'm going to be a hurting unit without any anti-inflammatories :/ Yea, Tylenol is pretty much the safest otc med to take if you're pregnant from what I've seen.
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Sep 9, 2011 03:12
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 The line instantly turned pink. This wasn't even first morning pee, either.
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Sep 9, 2011 03:27
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Gumby Orgy posted:
AWESOME!!! Congrats! 
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Sep 9, 2011 03:33
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Congrats!
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Sep 9, 2011 04:03
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I feel awful, but I'm happy! I hope my breasts don't get much larger because they are already HUGE.
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Sep 9, 2011 04:36
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Congrats!!
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Sep 9, 2011 04:55
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Gumby Orgy posted:I feel awful, but I'm happy! I hope my breasts don't get much larger because they are already HUGE. I wish I could tell you not to worry but I went from an F cup to an I cup in a matter of 4 months and apparently they are supposed to get bigger (WTF!). And I haven't gained a pound. I hope you feel better and I hope your cans stay on a reasonable growing scale. Welcome to the Pregnancy Thread, hop on over!
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Sep 9, 2011 13:43
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Gumby Orgy posted:
Congrats! I would just like to point out that I have always been amused by the similarity of the spanish word pregnant to the English word embarrassed. bamzilla posted:Yea, Tylenol is pretty much the safest otc med to take if you're pregnant from what I've seen. Tylenol doesn't do gently caress-all for me :/ I might as well be popping mentos.
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Sep 9, 2011 14:50
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Bahunter22 posted:I wish I could tell you not to worry but I went from an F cup to an I cup in a matter of 4 months and apparently they are supposed to get bigger (WTF!). And I haven't gained a pound. I hope you feel better and I hope your cans stay on a reasonable growing scale. Welcome to the Pregnancy Thread, hop on over! Ditto; G cup to J cup here. My advice: pay any amount of money for a good stretchy bra and possibly a maternity truss. 
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Sep 9, 2011 15:31
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Congrats! Welcome to the Tylenol club! If it makes you feel better, my boobs haven't gotten much bigger, maybe just D --> DD, at that first initial major hormone surge. I'm now ~9 weeks before my due date, and I'm still waiting for the major booby explosion to happen; I have a nagging feeling it's going to be shocking.
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Sep 9, 2011 16:47
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Starting the first round of Clomid today. What's really annoying is both our family doctor and the fertility specialist refusing to talk in detail about the recent study concerning anti-depressants during pregnancy and a possible increased chance of autism. I know there's just one study out there suggesting a possible link and that's not enough for the Doctors to make a firm answer, but telling us to "go to pub-med, read the paper, and come to your own conclusion" is not helpful. For what it's worth she's going to try going without the meds as we already have a child with high-functioning autism (conceived before the anti-depressants) so the chances of having another ASD child are about doubled compared to a regular pregnancy. Canuckistan fucked around with this message at 18:36 on Sep 9, 2011 |
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Sep 9, 2011 18:22
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