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Welp...another Kobold down, another lost bet.
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Sep 29, 2011 20:50
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| # ? May 28, 2024 07:21 |
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Well, that werewolf build worked better than I expected, though that platinum dagger was... welp. That last match though, that's painful. Luck of the draw, I suppose.
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Sep 29, 2011 21:04
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Poor, poor Kobold. Someday they'll win a match again. Someday. (Just not against my dude  )
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Sep 29, 2011 21:45
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Holy gently caress I so did not expect that to work; in arena testing Hungry Mungry could lose a fight with a pig. He fared even worse against armed, skilled opponents, though admittedly I never tried him against anything smaller than himself.
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Sep 29, 2011 21:56
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Brick Moses posted:Holy gently caress I so did not expect that to work; I imagine the same could be said of Everypony. Ridiculous build that should work advancing past the first round due to crushing a tinier opponent. Ha!
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Sep 30, 2011 04:14
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VladTheEater posted:I imagine the same could be said of Everypony. Ridiculous build that shouldn't work advancing past the first round due to crushing a tinier opponent. Ha! See also: the Original Prancer, and his two month-long victory against a goblin.
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Sep 30, 2011 09:36
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Alas poor Cobalt. She was dead the moment her first chop went wide.
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Oct 2, 2011 04:44
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 Round One, Match Forty-ThreeMatch Forty-Three, G. Butler (Mazerunner) vs. Lin (Hooplah) G. Butler, a human gladiator, is equipped with a simple copper spear, copper shield, and copper helm. Lin, soldier ant woman, also favors the spear. However, she carries two iron spears, each held with two of her four hands. She wears some simple leather armor and a copper helm. Will the two spear strategy prove credible, or will the larger human simply run Lin over?  The fight begins! Lin is just a step quicker than her opponent, and opens the melee by leaping straight forward into her foe! One of her iron spears jabs into Butler's ankle, cracking bone, and the impact knocks the human fighter abruptly onto his back, stunned!  To the shock of onlookers, Lin abandons her spears for a moment and instead delivers a series of brutal punches to her opponent, one of which breaks his arm! Butler shakes off his shock, but it may be too late! Lin continues her onslaught, now using her spear against Butler. The human, fully on guard, blocks, parries and counters strike after strike, even from his disadvantageous position on the ground. To Lin's credit, none of the human's strikes land, but the fight seems to have reached an impasse.  All of the sudden, Lin makes a move around Butler's guard, impaling him through the belly from the other direction! The iron spear cuts through his kidney, and deep crimson blood bubbles from the wound. Seeing her opponent effectively incapacitated by the pain, Lin moves in for another punch, then switches to methodically stabbing the human, alternating between her two spears. Butler, blinded by his own blood and now missing a hand, flails about with his shield, hoping desperately to ward off a strike or land any sort of hit on his opponent. But it is for naught. As the pool of blood spreads, Butler slips into complete unconsciousness.  Lin could now easily end the fight in a single blow, but instead focuses her attention on the human's torso, ripping out his guts with several precise thrusts and twists of her spears. At long last, Butler's body stops convulsing, leaving Lin the clear victor in this bout.  Combat Log
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Oct 3, 2011 20:28
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This week, on Dwarfiest Warrior: Antwoman beats Hoplite.
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Oct 3, 2011 20:48
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Round One, Match Forty-Four Match Forty-Four, Glitch (Clockwork Gadget) vs. Betty (A good poster) Glitch, a kobold, has an unfortunate kit of gear. She is clad fully in leather armor, and wields a simple iron whip. Her opponent, Betty the yeti, wears a silver breast plate and wields a silver war hammer. Betty's main advantage here is that she is roughly the size of a car and her weapon is roughly the size of her opponent. Glitch's hope is that Betty is ticklish, because that's about all his whip is likely to be good for in this match.  Glitch is much quicker than his opponent. He advances rapidly and cracks his little whip through the air, hitting Betty with a stinging shot to the arm! The yeti tramples over Glitch, sending the kobold rolling to the ground but otherwise unhurt. Betty tries to squash the annoying little creature, but Glitch scrambles away.  A moment later, Glitch is back on his feet! Betty roars and charges at him again, but this time the kobold hops safely out of the way. He lashes Betty's arm once more, but again, the strike, while stinging, is not about to bring down the yeti. A third lash to the hand is similarly ineffectual. Betty stomps toward Glitch again, and the kobold's luck runs out. The charge knocks him down with enough force to leave him stunned and defenseless.  Betty smashes his right arm twice, the first hit only bruising it through its thick leather padding, the second fracturing the bone. Glitch recovers enough to defend himself, gets up, and is immediately knocked back down. He scrambles into a corner, where Betty pin him, immediately pushing him over whenever he gets to his feet. Again and again, he evades her strikes, but cannot escape her entirely. A hammer-blow crushes the kobold's foot, leaving him unable to stand. It seems all is lost for the little warrior. But what's this? Glitch launches himself from the ground to punch Betty in the face, escapes an attack, lashes her leg with such force that he fractures her bone, scrambles away again, then lashes her lower arm, again, somehow, damaging one of the yeti's thick bones! Both warriors are now in moderate pain, and this could go either way!  Though Betty lands blow after blow with her hammer, the leather-clad kobold is able to weather the strikes with surprising ease, and lands his own in turn. This could be the greatest comeback in arena history if- CRUNCH. Glitch's skull caves in under Betty's hammer, and the match comes to an abrupt end.  Combat Log
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Oct 3, 2011 21:08
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Halloween Jack posted:This week, on Dwarfiest Warrior: Antwoman beats Hoplite. Gerard Butler was just a guy pretending to be a hoplite anyway. Explains the lovely spear and shield.
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Oct 3, 2011 22:57
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Welp...I'm now 1-7 for Team Kobold. Hugs for Everyone seems to have pretty decent betting odds to win--wait a second? Bad Munki? You put 500 against your gladiator?
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Oct 3, 2011 23:00
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Krysmphoenix posted:Welp...I'm now 1-7 for Team Kobold. Hugs for Everyone seems to have pretty decent betting odds to win--wait a second? Bad Munki? You put 500 against your gladiator? Hugs for Everyone will win, or I swear I'll kill him... oh, wait.
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Oct 3, 2011 23:02
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Krysmphoenix posted:Welp...I'm now 1-7 for Team Kobold. Hugs for Everyone seems to have pretty decent betting odds to win--wait a second? Bad Munki? You put 500 against your gladiator? Yep. It's the only way to get a sure thing. Either I win one way, or I win another. Don't much care which way it is.
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Oct 3, 2011 23:24
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Vox Nihili posted:
The only thing I can think of is Tinny Tim. You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly sir! 
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Oct 3, 2011 23:29
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Man, I was kinda worried for a while after I realized I'd misread the part about silver making for poor armor material. I wasn't so much "armoring" as "accessorizing" at that point. Also, is it just a quirk of DF's combat code that leather armor can shrug off hammer blows like that, or was I doing something else comically wrong?
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Oct 3, 2011 23:56
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My only regret: choosing whip instead of scourge.
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Oct 4, 2011 00:00
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A good poster posted:Man, I was kinda worried for a while after I realized I'd misread the part about silver making for poor armor material. I wasn't so much "armoring" as "accessorizing" at that point. Also, is it just a quirk of DF's combat code that leather armor can shrug off hammer blows like that, or was I doing something else comically wrong? Low weapon skill and bad luck probably play similarly-sized, if not larger, roles. Even the greatest warrior with the best gear will sometimes land glancing blows in the latest version.
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Oct 4, 2011 00:25
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Vox Nihili posted:All of the sudden, Lin makes a move around Butler's guard, impaling him through the belly from the other direction! The iron spear cuts through his kidney, and deep crimson blood bubbles from the wound. Seeing her opponent effectively incapacitated by the pain, Lin moves in for another punch, then switches to methodically stabbing the human, alternating between her two spears. Butler, blinded by his own blood and now missing a hand, flails about with his shield, hoping desperately to ward off a strike or land any sort of hit on his opponent. But it is for naught. As the pool of blood spreads, Butler slips into complete unconsciousness. Real proud of my antlady. A capable warrior  Hopefully she fares as well as her bro MAD COW
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Oct 4, 2011 00:38
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Round One, Match Forty-Five Match Forty-Five, Aspen (iLonie) vs. Galk Rendogut (IDOLA) Aspen, a human, holds a well-forged steel long sword. She does not bother with fancy armor or shields. Galk Rendogut, werewolf, is protected by an iron mail shirt and a copper shield. His preferred weapon is an iron halberd. It looks like both warriors have weapons that will be effective against the other- let's see how it turns out!  The warriors spring forward, seemingly matching each other step for step! But Galk is just fast enough to beat out his human opponent. His halberd strike misses, though he just succeeds in knocking Aspen off her feet.  Galk presses his advantage, slashing at his opponent with his halberd while she's on the ground. But Aspen rolls away from the first strike, parries the next with her sword, and frantically scrambles to avoid a third! Now she leaps to her feet. Galk attempts a thrust, but the attack narrowly misses the lithe Aspen. Now Aspen finally get a chance to strike! She slashes at the werewolf's paw, tearing muscle and severing nerves. Galk's appendage goes limp, and he collapses to the ground! Now Aspen fights from a position of advantage. She stabs Galk's leg, cutting into bone. Galk blocks the next strike and counters, but he misses the agile human warrior once more. Aspen slashes away at Galk, weaving in and out with every strike like her namesake in a brisk breeze. She wounds the werewolf's hand, and his halberd slips from his grasp. Galk remains dangerous with his claws and fangs, and does not give up on trying to destroy Aspen. Strike after strike grinds away at the werewolf, though, and soon he is only a shadow of his former self. An extremely bloody shadow.  Aspen keeps up her rhythmic attacks. Just as the frequency of her strikes reaches its peak, Galk falls flat on his back, bled dry. Aspen claims victory!  Combat Log
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Oct 5, 2011 20:09
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Round One, Match Forty-Six Match Forty-Six, Chopin (shark mafia) vs. Sir Smellsalot (onetwentysix) Chopin the dwarf wields an over-sized iron great axe. He is armored with a partial set of oakwood equipment, including a breast plate and greaves, a strange choice for a dwarf. Sir Smellsalot, tigerman, has a copper scourge and oak buckler. Will the cheap metal scourge be able to cut through Chopin's even cheaper wood armor? Let's get things started and find out!  The match begins. Chopin, weighed down by his surprisingly heavy wooden armor, isn't quite able to keep up with his opponent. Smellsalot slashes his scourge at the dwarf while charging forward, but Chopin proves quicker on is feet than might be expected, and dodges the assault completely!  Now the dwarf has a chance to strike. He hefts his great axe at the tigerman, but the beast manages to block with his buckler! Smellsalot charges at Chopin, landing a hit with his scourge that cuts right through Chopin's oak gauntlet to tear the flesh of the dwarf's lower arm. The charge itself sends Chopin rolling backward, stunned and vulnerable.  The tigerman lashes Chopin in the face, disfiguring the dwarf before he can mount an effective defense and inflicting a good degree of pain. But Chopin is able to parry the next strike, then boosts himself back to his feet. Smellsalot rushes at the dwarf again, but Chopin hops straight backwards, just escaping the tigerman's fury. But Smellsalot is too quick, and is able to immediately strike again, lashing at Chopin with all his might. The heavy scourge strikes the dwarf in his unprotected upper right arm and sheers straight through the flesh, popping the limb off at the joint! Smellsalot attacks yet again, but Chopin is able to leap away before the beast can take his remaining arm.  The tigerman re-engages, giving Chopin a chance to attack. The dwarf hefts his great axe as best as he can with a single hand, but Smellsalot blocks the attack without issue and counters, missing wide. Chopin attacks again, but still finds his strike blocked by the vigilant tigerman. Smellsalot charges forth once more, his strike ravaging the dwarf's upper body, and in fact breaking the spine somewhere in the thoracic region. Chopin spirals into the arena floor, losing hold of his weapon. This fight is all but over. Smellsalot rapidly eviscerates his now helpless target, and Chopin exsanguinates, never having landed a blow on his opponent.  Combat Log
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Oct 5, 2011 21:15
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quote:Sir Smellsalot lashes Chopin in the right upper arm with his copper scourge and the severed part sails off in an arc!
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Oct 5, 2011 21:21
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Is wooden armor even worth the points needed to buy it?
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Oct 5, 2011 21:38
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Glazius posted:Is wooden armor even worth the points needed to buy it? It won't ever really prevent damage outright, but it can still blunt attacks in a similar manner to leather armor. See Glitch V Betty.
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Oct 5, 2011 21:51
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Wooden armour? That's no dwarf, it's just an Elf-Badger crossbreed. Wooden armour really isn't worth it, you'd probably be better off just spending the points on another level of dodge, or getting a better weapon material, or even just saving them. Even against hammers it's not going to be up to much. Better to spend the points on leather so as not to worry about the weight.
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Oct 5, 2011 22:54
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Wood's an all right investment if you expect to be bitten or something; teeth don't seem to have a ton of purchase through even that much. Generally speaking I'd say that the rules is you should get metal armor or none, though.
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Oct 6, 2011 00:07
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Been awhile since I posted in the thread. Just checked my pending bets, and I've got five fights coming up. Goblin Supremacy.
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Oct 9, 2011 01:45
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Round One, Match Forty-Seven Match Forty-Seven, Major Miner (Jeans) vs. Pham (Dire) Major Miner, a dwarf, holds an iron pick and a grudge against all goblinkind. Pham the goblin, raider by trade, spear for hire, and now, arena participant, has a bronze spear and an iron buckler. This type of encounter is common in the more unfortunate dwarven settlements- let's see how it plays out here!  The combatants sprint straight at one another, hatred in their eyes. Pham, being a goblin, is just slightly quicker, and attacks with his spear first! Major Miner is able to dodge the attack, but the fighters jostle for a moment and Pham gets yet another strike, missing cleanly.  Miner finally gets his turn to attack, and swings his pick right into Pham's lower leg, severing the limb below the knee! Pham collapses to the ground, attacking toward Miner as he goes down, to no avail. Miner brings down his pick, but the goblin rolls away. He isn't quick enough to avoid the next strike, though, which punches a hole through his arm. Now the two fighters exchange a series of blows, parrying and blocking in turn, Pham still holding his ground. Again and again the goblin slips away from Miner's strikes, but eventually the dwarf impales Pham in the abdomen.  Hot blood gushes from Pham's wounds. The goblin, crawling pitifully with his remaining functional limbs, tries to escape from Miner. The dwarf jams his pick into his desperate quarry's chest cavity. Pham's last, frantic heartbeats pump blood into his own lung, and a moment later, he is dead. Major Miner carries the day for dwarfkind!  Combat Log
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Oct 12, 2011 21:17
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I have a feeling picks are going to be a popular choice next tournament.
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Oct 12, 2011 21:33
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I'm up in two fights!  Also I just realised I'm actually the second Murderface in this competition. I guess I'm his Spanish cousin.
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Oct 12, 2011 21:35
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Im next fight and the wait is killing me. 
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Oct 12, 2011 21:52
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Pure Kamikaze posted:Im next fight and the wait is killing me.
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Oct 12, 2011 22:11
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Round One, Match Forty-Eight Match Forty-Eight, McGruff the Crime Hound (Pure Kamikaze) vs. Squid (Supradog) McGruff the Crime Hound, werewolf, is armored with a basic set of leather body armor and leggings. His weapon of choice is a silver dagger- perhaps he hopes to dispel some myths about his species. Squid, a tiny gremlin, also has a dagger, though his is of steel construction. History tells us that McGruff should be able to crush his opponent, but let's see for ourselves.  The gladiators advance, McGruff loping along, Squid darting across the floor like a cockroach. The quick gremlin gets the first attack, and stabs McGruff in the arm! His dagger rips into flesh, but doesn't cut the bone.  McGruff attacks next. The gremlin leaps away, then swipes with his own dagger, causing the werewolf to jump back as well. Squid closes the distance, avoiding McGruff's swipe on the way in, then slashes at the werewolf's calf! The dagger connects, but the cut is shallow. McGruff charges, missing his strike but knocking Squid over and stunning him in the process! Before Squid can recover, McGruff cleaves off his hand and bloodies his leg.  Squid gets up, and McGruff charges- but the gremlin hurls himself through the air, avoiding the onslaught! McGruff closes, giving Squid a chance to strike- but the goblin falls over, dead. Apparently the severed artery in his leg and severed hand was enough to bleed him dry. McGruff wins in a surprising anticlimax.  Combat Log
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Oct 12, 2011 22:12
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So what's the difference between a pick and, say, a spear made from the same material?
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Oct 12, 2011 22:58
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MCGRUFF!!!!! 
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Oct 12, 2011 23:38
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A spear has a slightly smaller contact area and a hugely greater penetration depth, and a slightly lower velocity multiplier. The insane penetration on a spear might come into play more against larger opponents. Another thing is that a spear has two associated attacks (a stab and a haft smack), but the pick only has one attack. This is why I went with a pick, to cut down on useless opportunity attacks (and provide proportionally more biting opportunities). Having a blunt option doesn't always hurt you, though the spear bash has too large a contact area to be very effective. If you have, say, an axe made of a low-tier metal in adventure mode, if you have trouble getting through somebody's armor you could pommel-strike him in the upper body until you break their spine.
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Oct 12, 2011 23:47
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Okay, now your knowledge has me curious, PublicOpinion (Other DF masters can chime in too). How (im)practical is unarmed fighting on non-gigantic (tigerman and smaller I guess) races? I want to know how badly I goofed up trying to essentially build (insert preferred martial artist, fictitious or not, here)
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Oct 13, 2011 00:06
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ImperialGuard posted:Okay, now your knowledge has me curious, PublicOpinion (Other DF masters can chime in too). How (im)practical is unarmed fighting on non-gigantic (tigerman and smaller I guess) races? I want to know how badly I goofed up trying to essentially build (insert preferred martial artist, fictitious or not, here) It's me you're up against. Last time I participated in this I was using an unarmed martial artist human. Never again. Good luck!
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Oct 13, 2011 00:28
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ImperialGuard posted:Okay, now your knowledge has me curious, PublicOpinion (Other DF masters can chime in too). How (im)practical is unarmed fighting on non-gigantic (tigerman and smaller I guess) races? I want to know how badly I goofed up trying to essentially build (insert preferred martial artist, fictitious or not, here) You'll basically always lose against anything significantly larger than you (unless you choose a serpent man) due to ineffectual damage output, but no one will be able to parry your attacks. Overall it's pretty bad, but it's actually a hilarious hard-counter to certain opponents. You'll have a ton of points for dodging and/or armor. quote:So what's the difference between a pick and, say, a spear made from the same material? As PublicOpinion said, the picks are fairly blunt, now. They will essentially never penetrate against corresponding material. If you've ever handed an actual pickax-type tool, that's the sort of thing I'm going for in modeling them. They may be blunted further next tournament. My ultimate goal is to have picks and whips/scourges be a sort of "tier 2" weapon that is cheaper to acquire and skill but less effective than a real blade. We'll see how that goes next "season." Also, the little guys are all getting big bonuses next time around. I'm thinking of making kobolds, gremlins, and gnomes larger, giving gnomes and gremlins [nostun]), and giving kobolds more points. Vox Nihili fucked around with this message at 00:42 on Oct 13, 2011 |
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Oct 13, 2011 00:39
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| # ? May 28, 2024 07:21 |
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ImperialGuard posted:Okay, now your knowledge has me curious, PublicOpinion (Other DF masters can chime in too). How (im)practical is unarmed fighting on non-gigantic (tigerman and smaller I guess) races? I want to know how badly I goofed up trying to essentially build (insert preferred martial artist, fictitious or not, here) I don't think it can win in higher rounds. It may or may not win a round or two. You essentially need to incapacitate opponents with pain before they stunlock you (if they're bigger and like to charge) or just eviscerate you, and the smaller you are, the harder that is to do with just your bare hands. Tigerman isn't impossible, but if you're a human or smaller, forget it. Stranglers make very bad stranglers.
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Oct 13, 2011 01:31
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