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Arthur Crackpot
Sep 4, 2011

Proceed in a str8 line shaped like a perpetually shifting torus knot until you feel a sense of despair transcending all mortal comprehension, then hang a right at the next octopus, she'll be in the first room on the left

uglynoodles posted:

:words:

Oh my goddamn gently caress.

That is the most hosed up thing I've heard of all month. How do you get to be so egotistical and selfish that you literally cry rape to a rape victim? And not even for attention or some poo poo, but to get out of doing something with them?

I've felt kinda sorry for Denise so far, but now she can go to hell for all I care.

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ornery bean
Nov 7, 2010

Jesus loving Christ, OP.

I know I'm just some creepy internet goon, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm a great listener.


I hope these stories end on a good note. And by that I mean you finally losing your poo poo and putting a dent in her face. And then blaming it on being possessed by an anime demon.

Stultus Maximus
Dec 21, 2009

USPOL May

ornery bean posted:

Jesus loving Christ, OP.

I know I'm just some creepy internet goon, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm a great listener.


I hope these stories end on a good note. And by that I mean you finally losing your poo poo and putting a dent in her face. And then blaming it on being possessed by an anime demon.

I don't want to give away the ending, but from a couple pages back

quote:

That is a resounding yes and yes. She apparently goes to a lot of anime cons and recently a huge batch of pictures from a con photoshoot were uploaded to her gallery of her dressed as some demon dragon thing -- presumably what she imagines Parrier to be, and so I was inspired. Recently she told Kat that she was certain Autobots were taking the form of nearby cars and I think Optimus was in love with her.

Taoto
Oct 22, 2010

Hehehe... Everything's going according to plan, right?

uglynoodles posted:

"Last night I felt a presence in the room and then there were hands touching me. I didn't want it to, I tried to get it to stop, but it... Had sex with me. And now I'm pregnant."
"What?" At this point my question had pretty much ceased to be a question and was more of a statement.
"I told it not to and tried to push it off me, but it wouldn't stop advancing, and it kept whispering in my ear... It grabbed my boobs and then it forced--"

If it were just this part, it almost makes me think that something really did happen to her. Perhaps somebody broke into the house, or maybe her father took out his loneliness and anger at having to work 7 days a week at a job that was killing him to support a demanding child that couldn't adjust to her mother leaving.

Then I remembered what topic we're in and that she was probably just trying to get attention for herself. I'm hoping it's the latter.

uglynoodles posted:

"No, it's not that," she protested. "It really happened! I'm really pregnant and I don't know who the father is. He was so forceful... I tried to stop him... He said he couldn't help himself, that he had waited too long... That he couldn't resist me. We should find out who the father is..."

And with this part, we're back to a fictional character doing it. The part I don't quite understand is, if it were one of her husbands that was supposedly doing this, why would somebody she loves rape her? Why wouldn't she make it be consensual and be proud of bearing their child?

The only reason I can think of to explain her actions is that she felt she'd get sympathy from somebody who went through something similar. If nothing happened, why on earth would she lie about it for attention to somebody who actually had something horrible happen? If something DID happen, did the crazy just make her deluded into thinking it was one of her husbands somehow? :psyduck:

I imagine there's more to this than what you've mentioned, uglynoodles, and that it was apparent that nothing horrible actually happened to her. You're the expert on the subject here, having lived through it. I really hope I'm just overthinking it.

BogDew
Jun 14, 2006

E:\FILES>quickfli clown.fli

Arthur Crackpot posted:

How do you get to be so egotistical and selfish that you literally cry rape to a rape victim?
I went to school with a girl who was somewhat like this. I'd wager her being the youngest gave her the feeling she wasn't much of an achiever as the others just seemed to have more of an exciting life (oh why can't I see a M15+ film stuff.) This got to a head when she suddenly casually started telling others that she'd been raped by a family member.
This gradually spread around school like wildfire where it was revealed to have happened to her older sister who really wasn't happy with this private detail becoming common gossip.

But this didn't stop there, she gradually went on telling increasing oddball stories, most of them in the realm of plausible but fantastical, such as breaking her ankle on a hike during the two week school break, with no ill effects.

When these plans failed to win her friends she started moving into fad stuff like fad-aetarianism and being Wicca in more attempts to create an attractive personality.
And then later after school hooks into the "free thinking" art-student hippie with dreadlocks and wonders why she doesn't get any jobs rocking up to restaurants looking like she's freshly arrived from Burning Man.


When growing up you likely look for some explanation or reason to why there are poplar kids, or you're not good at sports and so on. A mini existential crisis of sorts. So find some attraction to out there concepts as they make sense in a vague manner and make you feel unique enough that it fills you with a sense of superiority.

It's clear that Denise's fantasies are her projections of what she wishes her life was, easily fulfilled and exciting with direct and logical meaning as she views everyone else life as being so.
Seeing she had an idea of your past experiences I get the impression she was trying to make you sympathize with her by one upping the situation so turns it up to 11 to make it seem really really bad.

Spiffo
Nov 24, 2005

uglynoodles posted:

I couldn't believe it. My throat tightened and I felt tears welling up. A few times that summer when it happened, I had declined to go out with her. At the time I told her something of that nature happened, although I was not specific, and that I was still dealing with it. Denise had apparently gotten out of that that rape and assault was a valid excuse to get out of something, and since cleaning her room failed she had better use that. Also pregnancy was an awesome sympathy card. Right?
"I'm going now," I said, and hung up. I remember vividly staring at my cooler bag that I had put a couple cans of lemonade in and how it turned into a blur of colour as I teared up. I cried for a long time that day.

Holy christ I am so sorry this is so hosed up :(

Wandering Knitter
Feb 5, 2006

Meow

Arthur Crackpot posted:

How do you get to be so egotistical and selfish that you literally cry rape to a rape victim?

Back in college I used to teach knitting at a woman's center. A lot of woman there were victims of abuse, or had loved ones who were victims. One week a friend of mine wanted to help me since I had just taught her how to knit a few months back. And what was one of the first things out of her mouth when we started?

"Oh yeah, I've been raped lots of times before. Why, my ex-boyfriend would rape me every day!" In a perfect cheery 'isn't the weather today nice?' voice.

Later I was about to get out of her that she was one of those "any sex you regret is rape" types. I spent the next few sessions apologizing to all the real rape victims there. :doh:

SullivanPRIME
Mar 17, 2009

Wandering Knitter posted:

Back in college I used to teach knitting at a woman's center. A lot of woman there were victims of abuse, or had loved ones who were victims. One week a friend of mine wanted to help me since I had just taught her how to knit a few months back. And what was one of the first things out of her mouth when we started?

"Oh yeah, I've been raped lots of times before. Why, my ex-boyfriend would rape me every day!" In a perfect cheery 'isn't the weather today nice?' voice.

Later I was about to get out of her that she was one of those "any sex you regret is rape" types. I spent the next few sessions apologizing to all the real rape victims there. :doh:

How in the ever loving gently caress do these people exist. MY god.

And on the subject of Denise, hell I think it'd be cool to be a Time Lord but I dont hide in small boxs and pop back out of it with different hair pretending I've been gone for 200 years. Or that the Master butt hosed me via the astral plane. Someone needs to just get her a few xanax and sit her in front of fanfiction.net

Fart Jockey
Aug 13, 2010
This is a really, really fascinating thread. OP, I feel horrible that you confided in her and she just sorta poo poo it back in your face, its one thing to be delusional but I have to wonder how severe her mental problems were if she expected you to believe her fantasies.

There is no


big enough.

But I'm loving these stories. It reminds me of the 'Guy who couldn't stop making stories up" thread, because everyone seems to know a pathological liar. Some are mild, and some are out of control, like Denise. When I was growing up, I had a friend in a different class than me who liked to spend 100% of our time together (walking home from school) making up stories.

I'll call her "Rachel". It was grade 5, and this is when Sailor Moon was new. I know 11 years old seems like a normal age to be making up stories, but when Rachel told me she was Sailor Moon, and all the stories that seemed to correspond with the episode that aired the day before, she was asking me to believe a lot. I distinctly remember at the time that she was too old to be carrying on the way she did. But she said she could see monsters, and that they were all around her, and it was her job to fight them. "What? You can't see them? There's one right beside me! It's too bad because I guess you can't be a sailor scout." If she wanted to play Sailor Moon after school with me and my friend she drat well could have, we did all the time. But instead she had to reiterate yesterday's episode as if it happened to her, like maybe I wanted to talk about something else, but no. She talked about Luna all the time but I was never allowed to see her, or her powers, apparently they only worked at night, and her family didn't allow visitors. The most I could get out of her was to blow some Mercury Bubbles outside her window at a pre-set time... her house was across the street from me, but pointing east, I sat there for 10 minutes waiting for those bubbles but never did see them.

The stories didn't start to worry me until she started talking about Darien, aka Tuxedo Mask. Apparently he would pick her up in his cool cool car and she had to be careful her parents didn't find out, and he was super cute, and he saved her all the time from danger, etc etc. At first I was treating this like her regular bullshit but it started to become apparent she might actually be seeing an older man who drives a car. We were having a "fight" one week (or in grade school girl terminology, we weren't talking) probably because she wasn't letting me get a word in and didn't want to hear about Sailor Moon anymore. So on the schoolbus, she sat next to me anyway and started moaning "IT HURTS! IT HURTS! OOOOW!" and I look over and she's holding her crotch. She cries the entire bus ride while I stared out the window not knowing what to do. When I got off the bus, I powerwalked home while hearing her moaning "OOOOOOOOOOOW" some distance behind me. I felt bad about ignoring her back then, even as a 11 year old and not knowing anything about sex or molestation back then, I knew something was hosed up. We didn't talk all summer- I never saw her outside of school, despite living across the street, but when we started grade 6 I asked her about the Sailor Moon stuff and she flat out denied all of it. Suddenly I must have imagined all of it. Then it was onto her pretending to faint all the time for attention, I stopped talking to her after that.

I really hope she wasn't molested though. She talked about this guy all the time, but I happen to know she also went through puberty really early so I hope she was just having her first cramps or something. She came from a strict Indian household so I hope she never got into any strange guy's car and it was all from her imagination.

Wandering Knitter
Feb 5, 2006

Meow

SullivanPRIME posted:

How in the ever loving gently caress do these people exist. MY god.

See, her ex ended up cheating on her. If she had known he was going to cheat on her she never would have agreed to have sex with him. Therefore, all sex with him was rape. :psyduck:

She is now almost 400lbs and lives alone with eight cats.

SullivanPRIME
Mar 17, 2009

Wandering Knitter posted:

See, her ex ended up cheating on her. If she had known he was going to cheat on her she never would have agreed to have sex with him. Therefore, all sex with him was rape. :psyduck:

She is now almost 400lbs and lives alone with eight cats.

Welp, thats certainly a way that you can think of a thing... I guess...

Ententod
Apr 17, 2011

Fart Jockey posted:

We were having a "fight" one week (or in grade school girl terminology, we weren't talking) probably because she wasn't letting me get a word in and didn't want to hear about Sailor Moon anymore. So on the schoolbus, she sat next to me anyway and started moaning "IT HURTS! IT HURTS! OOOOW!" and I look over and she's holding her crotch. She cries the entire bus ride while I stared out the window not knowing what to do.

I obviously don't know this girl and wasn't there, but reading your story it sounds more like she was fishing for attention, or maybe she was trying to make you feel bad for fighting with her. I can only judge the situation based on facts from your post of course, but assuming that her dreamboy really existed seems like a bit of a mental leap to make, especially seeing how she was lying about so much other crap already. Just my impression.

Panzerschwein
May 8, 2009

sboobs
What if our world is just an anime for another higher-level world?

snorch
Jul 27, 2009

Panzerschwein posted:

What if our world is just an anime for another higher-level world?

Then chances are some higher-level shut-in schoolgirl meganerd is obsessing over you right now.

Spiffo
Nov 24, 2005

Panzerschwein posted:

What if our world is just an anime for another higher-level world?

I'm sorry Panzerschwein but you are simply not canon

John Liver
May 4, 2009

Panzerschwein posted:

What if our world is just an anime for another higher-level world?

I'd say we need a better writing staff ASAP.

Also, my sympathies to the OP. Just let it out :(

Taima
Dec 31, 2006

tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

Wandering Knitter posted:

She is now almost 400lbs and lives alone with eight cats.

For further information, see: Pet Island, the home of the fat and alone cat-lovers club

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

Oh god why am I at the end of this thread. gently caress, need more stories!

lushka16
Apr 8, 2003

Doctor of Love
College Slice
Great thread, I'm completely astounded by how many people have similar stories.

I gotta ask - what's the deal with Princess Mononoke?

I saw it in the theaters when with a couple of friends, and at the time all I really didn't know about anime. The two friends went on to become very otaku(?), whereas I found no interest. Now I'm seeing that it seems to be a very influential movie for a lot of people.

So to put this in the form of a question - why is that thing I said?

Gunshow Poophole
Sep 14, 2008

OMBUDSMAN
POSTERS LOCAL 42069




Clapping Larry
You think there's a logical reason for animu-things?

After a while it's tautological. Anime is anime.

:catdrugs:

Hedera Helix
Sep 2, 2011

The laws of the fiesta mean nothing!

WebDog posted:

It's clear that Denise's fantasies are her projections of what she wishes her life was, easily fulfilled and exciting with direct and logical meaning as she views everyone else life as being so.

It has to be this, it's the only way that any of this makes sense.

I've been trying to figure out just why Denise, and DLC, and others just like them would do this. It seems like they take the emotional response garnered by music and anime a lot farther than normal people do, right into crazy town. For example, the story of Denise dancing along to Castle In The Sky; it's like there's a chain, going from "This song talks about castles in the sky", to "Castles in the sky are meant to look cool", to "Having a castle in the sky would be awesome, even if it is flatly impossible", to "I want to have a castle in the sky", and finally to "I actually have a castle in the sky".

How do you make that leap? Is this what schizotypy is? I can't tell, since the wikipedia page on it is kind of hard for me to understand.

Stew Man Chew posted:

You think there's a logical reason for animu-things?

After a while it's tautological. Anime is anime.

:catdrugs:


The reason for animu-things is to sell merchandise to children. And to people with the emotional capacity of children.

uglynoodles
May 28, 2009


I just wanted to thank everyone for their words regarding the last post. There are a lot of things with Denise that I am talking about in this thread that I have not talked to anyone about before. That story is new even to Kat, who has begun to read the thread herself and has told me she will be contributing some of her own Denise stories. She says she will send them to my e-mail, and I will post them through my account (Since :10bux: )

What happened to me happened a long time ago now. I was 14 then, and I'm 23 now. I've had a long time to think about it and accept what happened. I'm OK with it now. But back then, I wasn't. It was still very fresh in my mind and for her to use that as some kind of excuse to get out of spending time with me was such a shock to the system that it gave me a very bad reaction.

I agree with those who think that she was using it without any knowledge of the kind of effect it would have, just to try and 'crank it up to 11' and garner sympathy.

As for the poster who was worried about something actually having happened, like a burglar or even her father -- I am certain that this was all a fantasy scenario in her head and nothing physical happened to her at all.

I'm working on the next post at the moment. (Sundays and Mondays are my weekends.)

Green Jacket
Oct 23, 2008

Suddenly I have a refreshing mint flavor!

quote:

The reason for animu-things is to sell merchandise to children

And perverts. Don't forget the perverts.

As others have said, thanks for sharing these stories OP. The soulbonder/otakukin types have always fascinated me. When I was active in the animation cel collecting community, there was a collector who thought she was a minion of Phibrizzo from Slayers. I remember her once saying that she would gladly kill herself if it meant she could be with him again -- screw her family and friends, I guess.

Spiffo
Nov 24, 2005

uglynoodles posted:

That story is new even to Kat, who has begun to read the thread herself and has told me she will be contributing some of her own Denise stories. She says she will send them to my e-mail, and I will post them through my account (Since :10bux: )

Account sharing is against the rules FYI and I don't want to see you get banned over it

uglynoodles
May 28, 2009


Oh. Well, that's a shame. In the interest of not getting banned, I'll tell her either to register, or I can't post any of her stories.

Strom Cuzewon
Jul 1, 2010

Spiffo posted:

Account sharing is against the rules FYI and I don't want to see you get banned over it

Through-posting has a pretty strong precedent in A/T, the Amnesia guy springs to mind, but there've been others.

BlackFrost
Feb 6, 2008

Have you figured it out yet?

uglynoodles posted:

Oh. Well, that's a shame. In the interest of not getting banned, I'll tell her either to register, or I can't post any of her stories.

I think you'd be okay, so long as Kat didn't sit down and type the story through your account herself. It's not like she's actively using your account to post something, you're just recounting her side of the story. Honestly, it'd be less confusing if you, as the OP, posted it even if she had an account, that way it's all put together through one poster, you know?

That said, you might want to check with a mod, just in case. Never hurts to ask. :shobon:

Chocolate Milk
May 7, 2008

More tea, Wesley?

uglynoodles posted:

Oh. Well, that's a shame. In the interest of not getting banned, I'll tell her either to register, or I can't post any of her stories.

Yeah, check with a mod, but I'm pretty sure that the account sharing thing only applies to when two people are both actually using the same account. People post stuff that other people have asked them to post all the time.

Oblique Angle
Feb 11, 2011

God or the devil? Why not surpass them both?!
If you put her stories in as quotes it might be fine, though I'm not 100% sure.

uglynoodles
May 28, 2009


OK. I will ask, because I really want to tell Kat's side of things when she gets around to sending me those e-mails, and it would be useful for people who are filtering the thread to get only my posts.

// EDIT

I have just spoken to Kat, who tells me that this spirit isn't the only "rapist" there was. Apparently this has been brought up with Kat on numerous occasions. Denise has also been spiritually violated in every orifice by "Orochimaru" and a Predator.

Yeah.

A Predator.

uglynoodles fucked around with this message at 20:32 on Oct 24, 2011

Larva
Dec 26, 2007

Taoto posted:


And with this part, we're back to a fictional character doing it. The part I don't quite understand is, if it were one of her husbands that was supposedly doing this, why would somebody she loves rape her? Why wouldn't she make it be consensual and be proud of bearing their child?


That sort of "he just can't help himself" fantasy is fairly common among repressed, horny teenage girls who have been raised with the understanding that agreeing to sex at their age (or outside of marriage) would make them a Bad Person. It's an unfortunate by-product of the way our society treats sex in general, but it's not a fantasy a sane person would EVER share with an actual victim. :(

Slime
Jan 3, 2007

Vicas posted:

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask / Tell > Goons are really bad at picking friends

If you didn't have one of those terrible friends, it was probably you.

I did not have any terrible creepy friends. :smith:

Silentman0
Jul 11, 2005

I have a new neighbor. Heard he comes from far away

uglynoodles posted:

OK. I will ask, because I really want to tell Kat's side of things when she gets around to sending me those e-mails, and it would be useful for people who are filtering the thread to get only my posts.

// EDIT

I have just spoken to Kat, who tells me that this spirit isn't the only "rapist" there was. Apparently this has been brought up with Kat on numerous occasions. Denise has also been spiritually violated in every orifice by "Orochimaru" and a Predator.

Yeah.

A Predator.

I think you can post her stories, she just can't use your account to make the posts herself, I'm pretty sure.

Starter Wiggin
Feb 1, 2009

Screw the enemy's gate man, I've got a fucking TAIL!
Do you know how crazy the ladies go for those?
OP, I'm glad you somehow managed to stay sane, and it seems like your friendship with Kat remained intact. Thanks for sharing these stories, and your most excellent drawings.

I knew a similar girl in high school (why is it always girls?). It wasn't anime, just generalized archetypes or cartoon animals. She managed to maintain a good social life, a not crazy or fat boyfriend, and was into track (even set a district record). She managed this until junior year when she was diagnosed with legitimate schizophrenia and was institutionalized for 6 months. She's better now, much better. So sometimes these people are legitimately crazy. Those were a lonely 6 months without her, too.

uglynoodles
May 28, 2009


MEGAPOST
Kat's Letters and More Stuff

I am unable to PM a moderator, so for now I will just include these letters Kat sent me as quotes. If it turns out they're not allowed I'll remove them, but honestly I don't think it should be much of a problem. :3:

Kat was a lot more entangled in Denise's world than even I was, it seems, as she has details I was not privy to, or perhaps more likely that I just do not remember.


quote:

13 year old outcasts are desperate. Uglynoodles and Denise were really the only friends I had, and I kept to myself a lot. I was teased in elementary school, though the transition to high school dulled down the obvious bullying. Thank gently caress for alert teachers. The only bully stupid enough to continue it into high school was left in tears by the rugby coach who was my neighbour.

I met Uglynoodles in a grade 9 science class, and we were instantly drawn together by shared hatred for my arch-nemesis. Back then, I was just finding that I could get out of the cocoon my father had set up, and that things were actually a lot different than his racial slur of a world suggested.

I met Denise in grade 10.

In hindsight, the first time Denise set me up for her brand of crazy was roughly a month before she told me anime people existed. Advent Children was coming out in a year or so, and while I had heard of ff7 through her infatuation with Sephiroth, I hadn’t really looked too far into it. But, one day, she invited me over to watch the trailer for Advent Children on her neighbour’s computer, and pick out which animu boy I liked.

She steered me away from Yazoo, citing that Uglynoodles had already claimed him, and I landed on Kadaj. She seemed happy for this choice, and I wouldn’t find out why until a few weeks later.

Flip forward to a few weeks later. Again, I’m invited over to her place. She brings up the subject of anime boys and spirituality. And she tells me, with a growing smile and all seriousness, that the anime and video game worlds were, in fact, real. And that Kadaj had a crush on me and had been following me around.

He wasn’t like portrayed in the game. Seeing me had enlightened him from that path, or something. I’m not sure this boosted my confidence, but I felt less alone after that. I have a great imagination, and I’d used that imagination for a long time before this as a method to escape and pass time. It is rare that you will find me bored, when left to my own devices.

So yeah, I went along with it. But I’m pretty sure she figured out that I wouldn’t go along with all of it. Or maybe she felt threatened by me, because she didn’t try to include me into her clique of high priestess/princess/goddess/whatever. Instead, I remember her graciously offering me a home in her Naruto ninja village that was full of dragons.

Who the gently caress is Yazoo and why would I 'claim' him? Is Yazoo a landmass somewhere?
As an aside note, I was present for the conversation at Denise's house in which she told Kat that animu boys were real.

quote:

I had several experiences of her recounting her sexual encounters among those anime boys who followed her around. There are several inconsistencies with which she dealt in her usual fashion: make poo poo up. I’ll start with a bit of background: most of what I remember starts around when Denise became Parrier. I still remember this change, because I was there when she did it, but I’ll recount the details at some other time. Parrier first came onto the scene as one of the spirits that lived inside of her, as opposed to the ones that followed her around lustfully. He had no sexual attraction to Denise (until later, when his history suddenly changes and he starts hating Magnolia because she was a cold hearted bitch that dumped his rear end) and lived in her head because he had been trapped there by his enemies. She’d found him one day while she was wandering the maze of her mind, chained up to the wall. And she’d freed him into only being pseudo-bound. Not even sure how much this ‘binding’ affected his supposed ability to move around, because on a number of occasions he’d mention about how he’d gone and done something (like gone into the Naruto world and stolen Itachi’s cloak).

Anyway. Parrier lived in Denise’s mind, which functioned like some sort of mansion, fully equipped with a shower. (Denise: This morning, I was half-asleep in my mind and I ran into Parrier. He was only wearing a towel.) After a while of him being ‘around’ in her head while our merry clique met up for lunch break, he periodically started to take over. At first, he took over when she needed to sleep. When she was too tired for class. Then it was when she’d run off with Heero Yuy or Sephiroth or whoever the gently caress she was going out with, then. Then she never returned. She’d gone too far and didn’t answer any communications, according to Parrier. That happened a few years ago. She still cannot be found, even by the super-powerful major spirit of Parrier’s cousin Melissa, the Admiral.

I’ll probably describe my initial encounter with Parrier taking over in greater detail some other time. Right now, I’ll focus on the anime rape boys.
These usually happened when Uglynoodles wasn’t around. It was during lunch break in high school, and I’m not sure which personality this occurred with. I think we might as well call it Pannise, because the lines between Parrier and Denise are pretty loving blurry — an effect of the shared memories those two possessed, since Parrier had been and still somehow was bound to her.

“So, someone paid me a, uh, visit last night.” She said this with the usual mischievous look, after making sure no one else was around. We were quite alone on the stairwell.
“Oh?” I’d gotten used to these.
“Yeah, he was a bit... rough.” And she showed me some sort of bruise on her arm that was supposed to resemble a hand mark where he had held her down.

There wasn’t a whole lot to say at this point. I probably made some rude sexual innuendo. I’m fairly prone to making dick jokes in the face of pseudo-seriousness.
Other times, it would be “I think he bit me.” when she was 'going out' with anything with fangs. It started with Lestat from Anne Rice’s vampire series, and moved on to others such as Orochimaru from Naruto. With Orochimaru, she had me look at her back and see how much he had bitten her. I sort of squinted. It was hard to tell among the moles and acne, so I just said “Yes.” and was done with it.
I never heard about astral pregnancies, although I did hear about the babies in passing.

This ‘rape’ is ongoing. And I find how she gets around the connotation is that she wanted it, but couldn’t morally do it because she was committed to these other anime guys. So the new guy she had the hots for just went ahead and did it, so she didn’t have to make the decision, and then she forgave him because he clearly loved her, and accepted him into her animu harem. The latest rapist was a Predator. Fortunately, I didn’t get the details of that encounter because I had removed myself from her bullshit by then.

ASTRAL PREGNANCIES


Denise did not give up this idea of her being pregnant with phantom babies. She used it as an excuse for weeks. Whenever she wanted to get out of doing something, it was the phantom baby taking its toll on her body. She would even use this excuse to people who were not familiar with her brand of bullshit, but used more conventional symptoms instead as an excuse. Like she would say she had stomach ache, or nausea, you know whatever she could come up with at the time.



When at her house, she would sometimes stuff her shirt when I was around to show her pregnancy. She would often ask I make food for her or help her around the house during these times. The squabbling with her father was always in high gear as well. Her dad would try to talk to her like a human being, to which Denise would respond by yelling. Understandably, after working a highly physically demanding job every goddamn day without a break, he lost his temper and rose his voice back. Let me just say that raising his voice was literally the worst thing he had ever done. He never used a rough word against his child, never deprived her of anything she needed. He tried to make her happy and sacrificed a lot for Denise. He gave her the big bedroom when Louanne moved out. Most of the income went to her anime crap. The most the man ever did for himself was buy himself his own PS2 unit because his child was always hogging it, and a copy of Front Mission 3, which was his favourite game. When he did that, Denise complained because he couldn't afford to buy her 2 of the next instalments of the mangas she followed at the time.

Denise would always blame her blatant lack of respect for her father and shouting matches on the fact that they were both Aries. I tried to tell her to talk to her father in a more respectful way but she would always brush it off. I would've given anything to have had a parent that cared like Denise's father cared.

Denise's father was a genuinely nice man. He knew things were rough for me at home and, when he was home and we weren't holed up in Denise's room he always made an effort to make sure my stay at their apartment was a pleasant one. He always cracked terrible puns and took endless pleasure in my exaggerated expressions of disgust in response. It only encouraged him more. On a few occasions as a special treat he gave both Denise and I $20 and sent us off to the nearby mall. He was always interested in the games and films we liked, asked us about them and just generally made an effort to engage with us. Oftentimes Denise wouldn't respond. Sometimes when she was doing her princess singing routine crap, I would slink off to say hello to her dad and talk to him for a little bit, under the guise of just going to the washroom for a minute. She would get fussy if you weren't listening to her. He loved Denise dearly, and my only tiny tinge of misgiving about posting all this about Denise is that I know it would upset him if he knew. George is a good man. I wish he knew what Denise thinks, and I wish he knew I genuinely tried to help for a long time.

I believe this first astral child was eventually believed to be Sephiroth's. Apparently he was the Mystery Spirit Rapist Man. She said at first she was angry with him, but accepted that he just couldn't control his impulses. It was just too frustrating for him to be on the Other Side and not be able to gently caress her brains out, so of course the natural thing to do was utilise amazing powers to gently caress her without permission as a ghost or something.

Sigh.

Yes, you read correctly -- this first astral child. She called me up late one night to tell me the baby had come and it was now an angel that lived in the astral. But I think I asked her to come swimming with me and Kat at some point after that and she was ghost-knocked-up again. She was also cleaning her room. But, she said, she was going to the comic shop the next day so we could meet her then! Glad to know her astral pregnancy that burgeoned up from her womb in the form of a sweaty pillow wouldn't stop her from spending more of her father's money on Naruto or whatever.

We're not quite done about forming astral babbys however; To skip ahead momentarily, when she was going through her Great Jobless Phase right after the momentous event known as Finally Graduating Highschool at 20 Years Old, astral babies were her favourite excuse as to why she couldn't go try harder at finding a job. No, instead, sponging off her ailing father who was steadily weakening as a result of old and chronic injuries and demanding an ever growing amount of videogame and anime merchandise off him anyway was totally cool. When he put his foot down and said he wouldn't support her frivolous spending, she threw a massive tantrum. That was fun.

Wandering Knitter
Feb 5, 2006

Meow

Starter Wiggin posted:

I knew a similar girl in high school (why is it always girls?)

It can be guys too. I once had a guy "kill himself" while talking to me on AIM, then "his Mom" started talking to me in his place to explain that he killed himself because I didn't love him, and when I threatened to call 911 he used Super Sayian Powers to come back to life and take his computer back from his Mom.

Okay, I think I'm finally out of crazy people who were in my life. :ohdear:

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.

Starter Wiggin posted:

I knew a similar girl in high school (why is it always girls?).

I knew multiple male examples of this, actually. One of them grew out of it and is a relatively normal guy with a family, though he still plays unhealthy amounts of video games. Another married a girl who was just like him and it's horrifying. I think they live in his mom's basement.

The third was increasingly violent in the years I knew him, and I have no idea what happened to him because I started avoiding him after he tried to break my wrist my freshman year of college. He was the most egregious of the three in terms of lying for attention - not long before the wrist incident, he informed us that he hade gotten a big back piece tattooed and then decided he didn't like it and had it lasered off. Over the course of like three months. A bunch of the other guys were impressed and believed him, but I had just gotten my first tattoo a couple of months earlier, as had another guy in the group, and we both called him on his bullshit. Which drove him into a rage and led to him destroying a bunch of stuff.

I think the male versions are scarier. The guy who tried to hurt me exhibited a lot of sexual aggression towards me and other girls, and I wasn't entirely convinced that he wouldn't force himself on me if we were alone together - which I made sure we never were. The others were more harmless-seeming in their sexually inappropriate behavior, but as the only female member of our group of friends (until the super creepy girl showed up and married the one guy, after dating every other member of the group) I definitely felt unsafe around them more often than not.

Clockroach
Dec 12, 2010
This thread is so wonderful, I love that she felt the need to stuff her shirt for something that wouldn't be physical.

Wandering Knitter posted:

he used Super Sayian Powers to come back to life and take his computer back from his Mom.
Cool, my Digimon-boyfriend had super sayian powers, too. Before he got into digimon, he was always talking about people's power levels. My only excuse is that I didn't watch Dragon-Ball Z, and thought he was talking about some actual religious practice.

He never got aggressive, though. He was obsessed with being child-like, and innocent; so he was more clingy and prone to lots of crying.

I have to stop writing about him, because my god it only reminds me of how nuts/naieve I was. This wasn't a friend I made out of desperation, I actually neglected my social life for this guy.

MojoKingBee
Sep 4, 2011

Everybody, there's a new king in town.

Get ready.

uglynoodles posted:

Adventures of a criminally insane harpy

Wow. I feel so sorry for that poor father. I always think that children and teenagers don't respect their parents enough, but this is just terrible... I hope he booted her right out of the apartment after that tantrum.

Edit:
I just remembered: Her pregnancy excuses remind me a lot of a creepy girl I used to know in middle school. She told everyone she was pregnant to get attention (even after nine months, she continued to say she was pregnant). She would also throw crazy tantrums in class. She never mentioned anything about anime, but she did look A LOT like how you described Denise... I doubt its the same person but the resemblance is still uncanny

MojoKingBee fucked around with this message at 01:34 on Oct 25, 2011

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Arthur Crackpot
Sep 4, 2011

Proceed in a str8 line shaped like a perpetually shifting torus knot until you feel a sense of despair transcending all mortal comprehension, then hang a right at the next octopus, she'll be in the first room on the left
Just when you think you can't dislike Denise any more, Uglynoodles posts a new story!

The next time you see Kat, you need to give her a big hug and tell her she's a great friend, if for no other reason than that she's not Denise.

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