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Corridor posted:
You aren't the only one! I did this too, sadly, at seventeen. Man I was awkward as gently caress. But once I got out of that hosed up relationship I was in at that time and into the awesome one I have now - welp everything's better. And the thing is, that was only THREE YEARS AGO. Then again, I'm a bit of a butchy lesbian.
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Nov 23, 2011 21:25
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Mongoose Face posted:She also forces him to dress in drag (look, if a kid wants to dress in drag, that's one thing. But she actually forces him and brings him to cosplay with her) and makes him call her by whatever she decides to be called that week, Narcissa, japanese names, whatever. She's insane. What in the hell is this mess? Report that poo poo, son! If even half of this is true, the kid's going to grow up with some serious issues.
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Nov 23, 2011 22:18
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JohnDonovanLiver posted:What in the hell is this mess? Report that poo poo, son! If even half of this is true, the kid's going to grow up with some serious issues. I came into it a little late (still heard about it all, though) and I'm pretty sure someone else has already. If I recall correctly, she actually lost custody of little Severus who lives with his dad or grandmother or something - which is good, because I actually here he's a pretty bright kid. She's actually fairly obsessed with Cass now (who's an award winning, competitive cosplayer at an international level) and entered one of the international competitions with a dress that was exactly the same as one Cass had made a few months before (and actually designed a fair bit of herself as she didn't compete with it,) except she taped fairy lights to it. Then she claimed it was entirely her design. Her cosplays are another story entirely. We have this competition run by Mad Man, and the prize is a trip to Japan. It's the second largest contest we have here, and it's a massive deal. Lily always gets into the finals just because no-one else enters in her region. Last year, Lily's skit involved a coffin. The coffin looked more like a boat. It was that big. EDIT: As for the horses, I'm pretty sure she stole them as in she 'bought' them, paid the minimum deposit, took them away and then never paid for them and wouldn't give them back or even tell the breeders where she actually was. Although I think I remember someone mentioning she claimed to have 'rescued' one by finding a horse that had got out of someone's property and keeping it for herself. Mongoose Face fucked around with this message at 23:04 on Nov 23, 2011 |
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Nov 23, 2011 23:01
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TombsGrave posted:Spyro is evidently Sonic for the PS1 generation. I guess it makes sense (cute thing with an attitude, except he's a dragon!), but really, of all the dragons to choose from, why does Spyro turn up so much when there are more intimidating dragons out there? I think you answered your own question. Spyro (and Sonic, Pokemon, and the like) are common imaginary buddies because they are not intimidating. They may be powerful or dangerous or a reincarnated sex demon, but they're not scary. You know how little kids sometimes envision their father as an infallible superman? I expect it's something like that.
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Nov 24, 2011 00:53
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Mongoose Face posted:EDIT: As for the horses, I'm pretty sure she stole them as in she 'bought' them, paid the minimum deposit, took them away and then never paid for them and wouldn't give them back or even tell the breeders where she actually was. Although I think I remember someone mentioning she claimed to have 'rescued' one by finding a horse that had got out of someone's property and keeping it for herself. Have you considered getting in touch with the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in regards to the horses?
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Nov 24, 2011 00:58
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Vagabundo posted:Have you considered getting in touch with the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in regards to the horses? Seriously. Lily is a greater danger to society than most of the meth heads i know in prison. Also see if you can't get Severus' nickname to be "Russ" just so he doesn't get picked on so much.
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Nov 24, 2011 01:37
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Vagabundo posted:Have you considered getting in touch with the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in regards to the horses? I think the RSPCA has been contacted several times, but I'm not sure what's come of it. EDIT: I also forgot one of my favourite things about Lily - she things she's a horse. Seriously. When people talk to her she'll *flick ears back* and neigh in public and poo poo. Lily is also extremely overweight (which is sad, because she looks like she could be pretty if she looked after herself) but swears that we gain weight by 'containing information.' So she thinks fat people are fat because they're smart. She also made 'lolita southpark' cosplays. Kyle's outfit was a hideous satin monster with the star of david pinned all over it. The stars were made of felt. Mongoose Face fucked around with this message at 02:34 on Nov 24, 2011 |
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Nov 24, 2011 02:29
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Mongoose Face posted:She also made 'lolita southpark' cosplays. Kyle's outfit was a hideous satin monster with the star of david pinned all over it. The stars were made of felt. That is absolutely marvellous. I'm so glad I never grew up with / met crazy people like this. The closest I came was a guy I knew at university who know spends most of his time cosplaying with 15-16 year olds. He's 25+. Occasionally he'll put up pictures of his costumes and I'll get a chuckle out of how stupid he looks. 
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Nov 24, 2011 03:36
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 Meet "Silver". It's been a number of years and I can't recall exactly what her real first name was, but I think it was Adrienne. I'm not positive. I met her, along with the rest of her batshit insane little cult, during my first brief stay at college, through the campus tabletop gaming group. I hadn't played much in school due to a restrictive (my parents are fundies) home life, and like any good little nerdling it was my first stab at socializing. The crazy came gushing out like a firehose as soon as they found out that my best friend was kind of pagan-leaning and I was cool with it. I was horribly lonely and wanted to play some drat D&D so I went along with it all. Sure, sure, I'm a dragon, whatever. poo poo eventually got bad enough I didn't leave my apartment anymore, and I left college shortly thereafter. I'm going to leave most of the really horrible poo poo that happened to me out of this story because it distracts from the amusement value. The cult consisted of "Silver" here, a registered sex offender who went by "Darrian Ashoka", his common-law handfasted wife or whatever, who'd changed her entire name to something ridiculous but who I'll refer to by her legal middle name, Ariadne. Then there was Kit, Ariadne's ex-boyfriend, and Kelly, who'd been nailing Darrian the year before but was now going out with Kit. They all thought they were gods and goddesses, most of them thought they were more than one god, plus a bunch of random anime characters and their D&D characters and poo poo. Darrian, for example, had 9 different "souls", one of which was a dragon. I don't read enough comic books or watch enough anime to know what the hell all else was going on there, but I remember there were 9. Beyond this core group of loving nutcases there were a bunch of minor characters, all the kind of people who would put up with these people. There was a couple who owned a booth at the local huge ren faire and thought they were elves, but I only met them once. Silver is easily as wide as she is tall, has that mousy brown hair so typical of Irish-dominated mutt Americans, terrible skin, a large and red nose and kind of hosed up teeth. She usually wore way too much makeup, badly applied, in garish colors. She absolutely rolled in patchouli, but it failed to cover the reek of b.o and stale sexual fluids. Her hair was often quite green in cast, she took that as evidence of her divinity. She had what I heard was an enormous collection of "toys" including a bunch of dildos made from various semiprecious gemstones, she claimed to have a "full chakra set" but I fortunately only saw the rose quartz one and one I think was made from a stag horn (this is important). I was not inclined to inspect these or inquire more closely. Silver believed she was Gaia and an assortment of other things I'd never heard of, I think they were letting her have six personalities. Silver was still in college, still living in the dorms, despite being in her late 20's. She shared a dorm room with Kelly, and they had some kind of weird lesbian relationship that totally wasn't lesbian because the personality of Silver's involved was male. Kit was kind of jealous about this, but the personalities were "lifebonded", so what can you do? Kelly was a large, pear-shaped half-Mexican girl who I can only pray never finished her nursing degree. She rolled in what I think was freesia, though I'm not an expert in reeking floral perfume. At this point Kelly believed she was the Holy Spirit as a woman (the Queen of Heaven), and a fairy-elf hybrid. I believe she was 20 at the time. Ariadne was a tiny (5'1 and maybe 90 pounds soaking wet) woman with stringy blonde hair, who looked 45 or more at 30. She was chronically ill, though whether with any real disease or just an aversion to effort of any kind I'm not sure. She claimed "allergies" prevented her from holding down a job, but they had a filthy manufactured home crammed with all kinds of poorly cared for animals. She kept a flying squirrel in her bra, and she'd often talk for it in squeaky-voiced baby talk. Ariadne was (obviously) Ariadne, but also Diana the moon goddess, and some Celtic goddesses, and an elf, 2 dragons, and a unicorn. She was Darrian's wife, though he was at least occasionally nailing all the other girls still, largely due to her willingness to perform his favorite sex act. rear end-to-mouth while they let the dog lick his feet, the only reason they had a dog. (The dog spent the rest of the time staked out in the back yard without any water.) Silver and Kelly found the dog part a bit much, I gather. Ariadne was wildly jealous of Darrian's constant philandering and a couple weeks after I met the group, she packed her poo poo up and moved to Arizona to cry on her mother's shoulder. I didn't see her again until she showed up outside one of my classes to scream at me, right before I left forever. Kit lived in the manufactured home with Darrian and Ariadne. He was possibly 5'5", sweaty, balding, and immensely fat in a way more usual to women (gigantic rear end, man-tits, but not a really huge belly). His facial hair was usually doing something kind of crazy and half-assed, it didn't grow in very well. I didn't see a lot of him because he was terrified that my "dragon spirit" was going to eat one of his spirits or something. He believed he was Yahweh, the actual God of the Christians, Jews, and Muslims. He spent a lot of time sulking and mooning after Ariadne, who had dumped him for "loving like a woman", whatever that means. He delivered pizza for a living, still, at nearly 40. Finally we have Darrian, he of the 9 personalities and Magic the Gathering obsession. Darrian had 3 pet ferrets, a huge snake, a negelected dog, and an extremely brain damaged cat who spent most of the time asleep in a closed dresser drawer. Darrian believed several of his personalities were dragons, 2 of which were "lifebonded" (there was a lot of that going around) to Ariadne's dragons, but one was miraculously lifebonded to MY dragon! Amazing! He also believed he was Cernunnos, I think Osiris, a couple of his old D&D characters, and some graphic novel characters. He claimed to have spent a lot of time fighting with "live steel" with his ridiculous broadsword that "hungered for blood". It was kept in the same bedroom as the snake, a different bedroom from Ariadne's. He'd been put on deferred adjudication for some sexual misconduct involving a 5 year old. He constantly insisted he was innocent but I doubt it. Darrian was right around 6 feet tall with long orangey-red hair. He was rail thin except for a giant gut. I used to refer to him as "the chocobo". He used to pay Silver to jerk him off, he had a prostitution fetish but was terrified he'd get caught breaking his probation and go to prison. The manufactured house was crammed to the point of hoarding with trash, animal waste, filthy dishes, old food, and enough figurines, fantasy books, swords, ren faire outfits, and assorted "occult" objects that moving around inside the place was difficult. Each object had sentimental value to one or another personality of someone's, and each was "energetically significant". Most of them had probably been in someone's rear end or vagina, they were really into doing that for "sanctity" purposes. It removed the taint of the mundane world. Ariadne bailed for her mom's house pretty early in the 6 weeks I hung out with these people on purpose (I bumped into them uncomfortably often on campus for the rest of the semester), in a fruitless bid to get Darrian to commit to monogamy with her. Instead he packed her poo poo up, which she blamed on my "dragon", as did the rest of the group when I left. He went through a couple different insane chicks after that (I still know people who know people who know these people and the gossip is just too hilarious not to listen) including one who thought she was a unicorn and ended up dating my ex-boyfriend. She has some really hilariously bad "erotic" photographs of herself up on DeviantArt. Last I'd heard until recently, he'd sold the manufactured house and quit his job and was scamming some fantasy writer in Arkansas for money, but I guess that ended, because... I just googled them to see if there was anything new and found a wedding announcement between Ariadne and Darrian, complete with Amazon registry. I guess true lifebond dragon love wins out in the end. So if you're here, Darrian (one of these crazies HAS to be a goon), have fun with your rear end-to-mouth on your new purple bedding... and leave the dog out of it this time. ETA: And if anyone's wondering, their D&D campaign was JUST AS BAD as you'd think.
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Nov 24, 2011 15:33
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lirenth posted:
 This is some prime insanity going on here. The rear end-to-mouth aside at the end is what got me laughing like an idiot.
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Nov 24, 2011 17:34
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lirenth posted:Each object had sentimental value to one or another personality of someone's, and each was "energetically significant". Most of them had probably been in someone's rear end or vagina, they were really into doing that for "sanctity" purposes. It removed the taint of the mundane world. New age therapy's got nothing on these guys.
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Nov 24, 2011 18:27
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lirenth posted:Jesus Christ, it's like a real-life John Waters movie.
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Nov 24, 2011 19:17
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lirenth posted:ETA: And if anyone's wondering, their D&D campaign was JUST AS BAD as you'd think.  Do tell... (Either here or in TGD's Worst Experiences with Roleplaying thread, but you cannot let what I imagine is an epic tale of crazy get lost to the ages.)
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Nov 24, 2011 19:23
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For those enquiring, don't worry -- I'm far away from these people and these situations. My life is immeasurably better. Thanks everyone for your kind words. I remember one particular incident involving her getting angry at me for outright challenging what she was saying. She would usually tolerate probing because it gave her the chance to do her favourite activity ever which was Make poo poo the gently caress Up in an attempt to impress others with her awesome fire dragon incubus powers. Whatever it was, she had an answer for it because she lived there, you guys. She was talking about an Astral War between spirits and ghosts and animu character universes. This was because apparently some gods were trying to destroy the universes, but couldn't eradicate them because everyone who was fighting against them was a "Warrior of Love" and the power of believing was holding its own against all these (by the way, female) gods. One of these leading the genocide she claimed was Isis. I was really into the Egyptian pantheon and objected to what she was saying, by offering to show her such inconveniences as copies of books of translations of legends pertaining to these goddesses. "Denise, Isis is the goddess of life, everything I've ever read about her explains her as being protective of life and a benevolent force." "Well, she isn't -- she's a bitch who's trying to destroy everything." "I really don't think so." "The Admiral told Melissa it was Isis." "And where did she hear about Isis? loving Yu-Gi-Oh cards or something?" "She and Anubis look just like they do on the cards. Anubis is trying to stop her!" "This is ridiculous. Anubis is a guide and one of the arbiters of justice for the dead. I mean look, I can show you a few books that would --" "BOOKS mean NOTHING compared to my wisdom and power as a demon and ANYONE who gets in my way shall DIE. The Admiral will DESTROY them. Isis SENT ME A MESSAGE in the Astral saying there was war between us. You had better fight it too or your worlds will be gone." "I don't think gods work that way. They're incorporeal. You can't just kill one and I'm pretty insulted so let's talk about something else?" But she wouldn't drop it. That's not Denise's way. For about a month afterwards whenever something bad happened she told me it was because Isis was smiting me, and she insinuated without saying so that she thought I was lazy for not fighting in this war. After a month or two she forgot all about it. I guess the universes were all saved after all. How wonderful. Her history is she is supposed to be half dragon, half demon/incubus, but she gets touchy if you mention that if her mother is a 'plain old human' and her father is Vegeta, then that at most makes her half Saiyan and nothing else. She will bitch and moan that that is Magnolia's parents and not Parrier's. In addition, half this and half that is her favourite way of saying she's 'part' something. Part gryphon, part demon, part dragon, part fey, etc. A while ago someone asked me what kind of a name Parrier is for a demon. All names in this story except for the anime and game characters involved have been changed to prevent googling. This said, all names are related to what they 'actually' are. Denise's name starts with a D but is actually a very unique spelling of a relatively uncommon name. Melissa's name sounds very similar to her actual one, and Brian's name begins with a B and sounds similar, too. The Admiral's actual rank is different, but the concept is the same. Parrier's name relates to the activity for which he is actually named -- a name that is equally stupid as it turns out but hey. I have intentionally missed out where our home town is. I believe Denise has enough problems without the Internet finding her, and without her finding this part of the Internet. Please don't use Internet Detectivery Bullshit on this girl. That said, the desire I have to show you all a picture of her is almost fire in my blood. But I won't because that'd be hosed up and cruel. My charicature is pretty accurate. Oh yeah, Denise also started talking about my alternate form as a dolphin (Dolphins are one of my favourite animals) and how Brian was a shark so it made a beautiful symbol that dolphin and shark were entwined, and Yzak and Athrun were together at last. Seriously, I am so loving embarrassed that I dated him and I am so loving embarrassed that I hung out with her. When I was moving away to another province, Denise bought me a special edition Final Fantasy 12 and accompanying game guide -- the guide where it was a random draw which character you got on the inside cover. She knew the guy at the game store and had him check a few in the storeroom to make sure I got one with Fran on it, because she knew Fran['s rear end] was my favourite in that game, followed closely by Balthier and Penelo. I was really happy. Kat told me later that Denise had done such a nice thing because she didn't think a long distance friendship would work for her. Right. For any wondering, I had a lot of fun loving with Denise with the ouija board. Initially I let it do its thing but it was kind of spelling out nonsense like 'GERSNIBFL' and poo poo so I took over. I got tired of them puzzling over what GERSNIBFL might mean especially Brian because he thought it was some codewords he could use to manipulate time and take over the country. I jerked the pointer around, making sure to press hard on its centre so it didn't feel like I was moving it. "A NEW PRESENCE!" Denise crowed. "Who are you?" HEERO. "Oh," she said, disappointed. I knew that just a year or two before she'd have shat herself to read that. "What do you want?" YOUR KIDS MISS YOU. "You have kids?" Brian asked. "I HAVE NO CHILDREN!" Denise spat the words with such rage that even Brian stifled a laugh. "I want to speak to Adonis, NOW," she snarled. CAN'T SAY I DIDN'T TRY. I spelled out, then aimed the pointer to 'goodbye.' Denise is an abusive spirit spouse I guess. That's one of the few times I truly 'trolled' Denise but I should've done more often.
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Nov 24, 2011 20:19
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lirenth posted:He believed he was Yahweh, the actual God of the Christians, Jews, and Muslims. ... He delivered pizza for a living, still, at nearly 40. I feel like there's a religious morality tale about whether or not to tip hidden in there.
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Nov 24, 2011 20:34
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uglynoodles posted:"A NEW PRESENCE!" Denise crowed. "Who are you?"  For some reason Denise's reaction strikes me as really creepy--even more so than if she'd actually been excited about it. I can't work out why. Party Spock fucked around with this message at 20:45 on Nov 24, 2011 |
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Nov 24, 2011 20:42
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uglynoodles posted:
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Nov 24, 2011 20:50
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Knight of the 
YOUR KIDS MISS YOU.
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Okay, so after some of these stories I really feel like the tales of guesthouse creepers aren't too exciting, but here are a couple! Eiji becomes Spiderman Eiji somehow found out that I lived in the room directly underneath his. He was so excited that he trapped me in the room (his favourite trick was standing in the doorway so you couldn't pass by him without rubbing up against him; you either had to stand there and keep talking or give him a rubdown) and just stared at me with a happy, open-mouthed smile for twenty seconds before he started talking again. That night, I kept staring up at the ceiling, knowing that he was probably jerking off because OMG THERE IS A GIRL SEPARATED FROM ME BY INDUSTRIAL-GRADE CONCRETE SHE'S SO CLOOOSSSSE! For about three days, he would come and excitedly knock on my door every evening. Knock knock knock knock knock knock, wait three minutes, knock knock knock knock knock, wait two minutes, knockknockknockknockknockknock OH GOD WHEN WILL HE LEAVE. Eventually, I had a friend of mine- big Australian guy who Eiji was slightly afraid of- tell him to leave me alone, because I knew if I did it, he'd either pretend not to understand or try to chat me up and not let me leave the room. Our rooms all had balconies, although it was more like an outside hallway. This is how Eiji decided to visit one night. I'm not sure how he got down there- there was an outdoor staircase, but I have no idea if you could access the balcony from it- but one night I came home from work and opened the curtains to find Eiji standing there, smiling and waving. "Helloooooooo!" he shouted at me. I closed the curtains and spent the night in my friend's room. Tampon Soup (not really topical, sorry) There were communal cooking and serving items in our share kitchen, which was a bleak and roach-infested affair. As in, I saw them in the microwaves. I was going to make chili one night and reached for a pot. At first I thought it was a dead mouse, because it was brown/black and had a tail. Then it wasn't a mouse. I didn't cook again until I moved out, two months later. Next time (because I need to get ready for Thanksgiving) : Joining a ult, Panty Raid, and The Incest Adventures! Here's the website of the guesthouse: http://www.guesthouse.co.jp/ENGLISH/location/location_i.htm I highly suggest you scroll down and enjoy the insane web design, but also please don't forget to check out the image gallery at the bottom. This is what we woke up in EVERY DAY.
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Nov 24, 2011 22:16
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bringmyfishback posted:Here's the website of the guesthouse: http://www.guesthouse.co.jp/ENGLISH/location/location_i.htm I highly suggest you scroll down and enjoy the insane web design, but also please don't forget to check out the image gallery at the bottom. This is what we woke up in EVERY DAY. I think I'm blind
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Nov 24, 2011 22:26
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lirenth posted:stuff I really hope you reported these people for animal cruelty. They all sound absolutely horrible and should not be allowed to have animals.
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Nov 24, 2011 22:45
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Nessa: I reported them for a LOT of things but nothing ever came of it. Horrible Roleplaying experiences, with bonus picture:  Darrian calling for silence in the room, it was horrible purple prosey exposition time! I kind of half-assed this pic, I'm in a hurry due to all the Thanksgiving prep going on right now. Anyway, their godawful campaign: They were all high level and it mostly focused on a bunch of self-serving bullshit drama. The DM was Darrian and he played not one, not two, but FOUR of the PC's in the party... always a horrible sign. Kit played a girl sorceress and was really obsessed with describing her entrances/exits into rooms. Kelly was usually doodling really ugly furry fox-boy yaoi and she was playing a guy elf wizard, Kit was mad because the guy was gay and he'd wanted them to roleplay a couple in game too. Ariadne wasn't around so Darrian was playing her character, this emo sulky loving half-elf rogue. Silver was a ranger, naturally. I made a paladin and the fun began. Most of these people had at least one of their characters as one of their personalities, so if you did or said anything to them in-character... well, there was no "in real life" with these whackos. I never actually got to see any combat, I just got to watch them whine a lot about their expectations about what "lawful good" means and how that meant I should basically become their character's bitch. The game would frequently stop completely because stuff happening within the game affected the astral plane or whatever and everyone had to sit around with their eyes closed looking all knowing and talking about Deep Mysteries and Things Unseen by Mortals. Lots of crappy incense was burned. I usually went outside and pet the poor dog during this. The most ludicrously uncomfortable thing they did was roleplay the sex scenes between characters out loud at the table. You could always tell it was about to devolve into a disgusting sweaty nerd pile as soon as I left, the tension and promise of rose quartz penetrations to come was palpable. (As an aside, Silver once informed me that her male personality was an incubus and "very seductive". I was fortunately too naive to recognize this as a come-on.) My character ended up a virgin sacrifice in a Very Important Plotline. I'd explain EXACTLY how disturbing this was but it'd involve getting into what happened to me in all this. Nothing says "Lawful Good" like being brutally tortured, gang raped, and killed, to Save The World! Edited to add something I just remembered- speaking of animal cruelty, one of the 3 ferrets died in its cage (got trapped and died of thirst since Darrian was out of town that weekend and Kit couldn't be arsed to check I guess). Darrian found out on the very last day I saw any of these people on purpose. I got invited to the "resurrection ritual" but I obviously did not attend. Another edit to add a bonus picture of Ariadne in her Goddess Chair. 
Vespertine fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Nov 25, 2011 |
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Nov 24, 2011 23:11
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bringmyfishback posted:Here's the website of the guesthouse: http://www.guesthouse.co.jp/ENGLISH/location/location_i.htm I highly suggest you scroll down and enjoy the insane web design, but also please don't forget to check out the image gallery at the bottom. This is what we woke up in EVERY DAY. I've stayed in far, far worse looking places than that, but rarely have I seen a website so utterly terrible. Barry Foster fucked around with this message at 23:27 on Nov 24, 2011 |
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Nov 24, 2011 23:23
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lirenth posted:Being an ex-D&D nerd (I played good campaigns, with kings, dragons and magic balls of power), I was laughing through all of this. Thanks for sharing.
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Nov 24, 2011 23:47
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lirenth posted:Edited to add something I just remembered- speaking of animal cruelty, one of the 3 ferrets died in its cage (got trapped and died of thirst since Darrian was out of town that weekend and Kit couldn't be arsed to check I guess). Darrian found out on the very last day I saw any of these people on purpose. I got invited to the "resurrection ritual" but I obviously did not attend. That's horrible.  Why do people keep animals, if they're not responsible enough to properly take care of them?
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Nov 24, 2011 23:59
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In Darrian's case, because he views essentially everyone and everything as props in his saga.
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Nov 25, 2011 00:22
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Amazing/sad/hilarious/confusing stories as always Uglynoodles . I'd also like to point out that dolphins would not hang out with sharks  , they've saved people from them in the past.
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Nov 25, 2011 00:29
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uglynoodles posted:For any wondering, I had a lot of fun loving with Denise with the ouija board. Initially I let it do its thing but it was kind of spelling out nonsense like 'GERSNIBFL' and poo poo so I took over. I got tired of them puzzling over what GERSNIBFL might mean especially Brian because he thought it was some codewords he could use to manipulate time and take over the country. I jerked the pointer around, making sure to press hard on its centre so it didn't feel like I was moving it. Gold TBH I'm surprised why you didn't gently caress with their heads more often since it's pretty clear that they were batshit insane and taking advantage of you most of the time. Should have just had some fun on their expense, its the least payment in exchange for all the crap they made you go through.
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Nov 25, 2011 00:51
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bringmyfishback posted:Here's the website of the guesthouse: http://www.guesthouse.co.jp/ENGLISH/location/location_i.htm I highly suggest you scroll down and enjoy the insane web design, but also please don't forget to check out the image gallery at the bottom. This is what we woke up in EVERY DAY. What's with all the weird murals and paintings of naked fat ladies? I definitely want to hear more about this place!
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Nov 25, 2011 04:12
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eumenidy posted:
Probably because her reaction makes it evident that she truly believes it. 100% pure belief. She go "OMG my anime fantasies really are real!", and she didn't go "C'mon Noodles I know it's you". She acted just like someone contacted by an unwanted ex. She really accepted that her anime ex-husband and her non-existant children were trying to contact her. Not only is this some deeply terrifying levels of insanity, but then it follows that as far as she's concerned, she did actually abandon a 'family' she still believes is real without batting a hair.
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Nov 25, 2011 06:25
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Corridor posted:Probably because her reaction makes it evident that she truly believes it. 100% pure belief. She go "OMG my anime fantasies really are real!", and she didn't go "C'mon Noodles I know it's you". She acted just like someone contacted by an unwanted ex. She really accepted that her anime ex-husband and her non-existant children were trying to contact her. Not only is this some deeply terrifying levels of insanity, but then it follows that as far as she's concerned, she did actually abandon a 'family' she still believes is real without batting a hair. Not necessarily. Keep in mind that uglynoodles and Brian were both in the room. She probably felt the need to maintain the complicated fantasy in front of them, even if she didn't actually believe in it.
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Nov 25, 2011 06:42
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Do Denise and Brian still talk to each other even though you're out of the picture, UglyNoodles?
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Nov 25, 2011 07:48
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fork bomb posted:Do Denise and Brian still talk to each other even though you're out of the picture, UglyNoodles? Basically we're on the lookout for some really, really hosed up kids if those two breed. You may now shudder. (Also that guesthouse actually looks rather nice. Bar the mid-90's Geocities page, there. I was just waiting for a midi to kick in.)
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Nov 25, 2011 08:24
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redmercer posted:Basically we're on the lookout for some really, really hosed up kids if those two breed. You may now shudder. Seeing as Brian dislikes sex and Denise is terrified of cocks and doesn't even know what an orgasm is, I think the world is safe.
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Nov 25, 2011 09:29
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lirenth posted:I think [one dildo] was made from a stag horn (this is important). Was this important in connection with another story, or just important to note that she had a dildo made from a loving stag horn?
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Nov 25, 2011 10:09
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It's important because it turns out it was a "gift" from Cernunnos, which meant Cernunnos was cheating on one of Ariadne's Celtic goddess spirits with Silver. Naturally Silver whipped that thing out at any possible excuse to piss Ariadne off, but it was the straw that broke the camel's back when Ariadne packed her crap and ran off to cry on Mommy and shop. In other hilarity Darrian always gave his "lifebondeds" poorly made black leather roses reeking of patchouli, sandalwood, and "black rose". It was the same poo poo he rolled in, he claimed it was a "custom blend" just for him but I imagine it was something he picked up at some godawful ren faire booth. Like white trash Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. He gave me one in front of Ariadne and I was like "uh, okay," but she started screaming and ran off to make herself throw up, loudly. I kind of wish I'd kept it now*, but I threw it out years ago, it stank. *For comedy purposes only. Vespertine fucked around with this message at 10:53 on Nov 25, 2011 |
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Nov 25, 2011 10:33
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sans pants posted:Was this important in connection with another story, or just important to note that she had a dildo made from a loving stag horn? It shows she's a cheapass. Ivory all the way!
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Nov 25, 2011 11:04
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Corridor posted:Seeing as Brian dislikes sex and Denise is terrified of cocks and doesn't even know what an orgasm is, I think the world is safe. It's so strange that her sexual inexperience is this thread's saving grace.
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Nov 25, 2011 16:50
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Corridor posted:I hear that a lot of socially messed-up teenaged girls go through something similar with identifying as boys. *raises hand* Yeah, I posted briefly earlier about my hosed-up anime friend, but now that everyone's sharing their stories I guess I will elaborate. First off, I also went through this stage. I look back on it now and realize a lot of it was the fact that I was finally coming into my sexuality (I was kind of a late bloomer in that respect though physically I was not) and becoming preoccupied with boys. However, there were about 25 boys in my grade and I'd been around all of them since grade school, and saw them all as "off limits" considering most of them made fun of me. In retrospect I realize I may have actually had a chance with a few of them but at the time I was too insecure to even consider it. I guess I somehow channeled this unrequited interest in boys into wanting to be a boy myself. These days I'm vastly more well-adjusted and a normal woman who's happy with my gender and enjoys my feminine traits. All of this started to improve immediately after I cut ties with Joan, my weird anime friend. This is the post I made earlier in the thread: Canyons of Static posted:I had kind of a similar friendship, though less extreme. Your story is hilarious but at the same time kind of disturbing because not only did my friend look very much like how you describe Denise, but it also would have been pretty easy for her to slip down that rabbit hole. She was a weird squirrely kid who befriended me when I was new in town and quickly drove away all the other friends I'd made, until it was just me and her. When we were younger we did the usual kid thing of play-acting scenes from TV shows and books that we liked in her backyard... which is fine when you're like 9, but she still wanted to do it when we were 12 and 13. The first anime she ever got into was Sailor Moon, and she became convinced that we were actually reincarnations of some of the characters and there was this whole magical battle going on in some other astral plane. I was very skeptical of this, and so for proof she brought me this styrofoam egg she'd glued sequins all over, claiming it "came through a portal" from the other world. Long story short, it turned out she was nuts and also desperately in love with me*, although it look me many wasted years to realize how toxic her friendship was (as well as her whole family.) This isn't my thread so I'll leave it at that, but drat, how many of these people are there? Yeah, so apparently there's one of these in every high school. Our school's was definitely Joan. I was a loser dork myself but I always had my head above water, whereas Joan would let herself get sucked into these ridiculous whims of fancy. For example, at some point Joan's mother (I'll call her Ursula because she looked and acted shockingly similar to the Little Mermaid villain) decided that she (Ursula) was a ~magical wiccan witch~ and so she would always do stupid new age poo poo like dangle crystals over candles while musing upon the astral plane or whatever. Some of this rubbed off on Joan, and I remember one night that I slept over and we were hanging out in her bedroom (which was still decorated like a six-year-old's, except with anime posters tacked up over the pastel wallpaper) and Joan decided there were very menacing vibes coming from the corner of the room by the windows. She got more and more agitated and kept saying that the "Negaverse" was bleeding into our world and it was time to take up our true roles as Sailor Scouts and vanquish this evil. I was kind of embarrassed at this point, but she was also my only friend and so I felt like I had to humor her. She went and got some of Ursula's ~magical wiccan stones~ and we had to say some kind of ridiculous chant at the corner of the room to stay the evil spirits. IIRC there was singing involved as well. I guess Sailor Scouts fight with pagan magic, who knew? At some point she got Ursula involved, who was more than happy to also make a fool of herself by "cleansing the house" via many-sided crystals and incense that smelled like cat piss. Ursula was weird because she simultaneously hated her daughter and yet seemed to feed into her lack of connection with reality. Like mother like daughter, I guess. Ursula also hated me by extension and spent most of my childhood and adolescence systematically putting me down whenever she could, which was pretty much constantly considering how much time I spent with Joan and the fact that she was also my Girl Scout troop leader. I finally broke from that toxic family after my first semester of college, and it took me a few years to really get back to the point where I can trust people as friends and open up to them. Ursula and Joan were both incredibly vindictive people, often because of imagined slights. I think the moment when this really became apparent to me was when Joan told me that all those times I'd called her while suicidal, needing someone to confide in, she'd actually had her little sister on the other line and they later made fun of me after hanging up. I am still working on being able to open up to people like that again. Sorry for the long, somewhat unstructured post, but I wanted to point out some of the thought processes and background details going on with this kind of person (and also that, if I had a slightly different head on my shoulders, I might have become one as well.) EDIT: Oh my god, how did I forget about the Pokemon? Yeah, we both played the Pokemon game and enjoyed it, and watched the anime as well. At the time I recognized it was for children younger than me and was kind of embarrassed about it, but I liked it nonetheless. But when Joan and I were walking around town or playing in her backyard, she would pretend she could 'see' Pokemon everywhere and that you just had to have the ability to see into the 'other dimension' where they lived. Yeah, that seems to be a common theme with these people. She REALLY WANTED Pokemon to be real and I have to admit I did too, since who wouldn't want an awesome little animal buddy who will follow you around all day and do cool tricks? But I knew it was just pretend, while Joan sometimes seemed not to, considering that she would get so worked up that her face would turn bright red whenever we fought about Pokemon being real. Yes, we fought about Pokemon being real, you read that right. And we were probably 16 by the time she finally dropped it. Canyons of Static fucked around with this message at 17:32 on Nov 25, 2011 |
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Nov 25, 2011 17:22
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Everything on this page is cool as hell, great stories. I love reading about hosed up people so this is rather engaging 
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Nov 25, 2011 18:53
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| # ? Jun 4, 2024 20:07 |
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Canyons of Static posted:I think the moment when this really became apparent to me was when Joan told me that all those times I'd called her while suicidal, needing someone to confide in, she'd actually had her little sister on the other line and they later made fun of me after hanging up. I am still working on being able to open up to people like that again. I'm so sorry. I'm sure you're well beyond all that now, but if you ever need someone to listen to, I'm a pro at being a non-judgmental pair of ears. As for what the other poster said regarding lots of socially underdeveloped girls going through "boy" phases, I'm certainly one of them. I was always a tomboy but because of many reasons I've already identified and gone through I went through a stage where I had serious problems with my gender and sex identity. So it's a thing and, apparently, others have gone through it too. That's really nice to know because it was a really difficult thing for me and to know I'm not the only person in the world that's happened to is comforting somehow.
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Nov 25, 2011 19:39
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