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Brocktoon posted:I think you are all missing the brilliance of this calendar. Beth has an umbrella in April! April Showers! GET IT?! What's your problem? Everything the Stern-iverse creates is top notch. It should be, everything costs a small fortune to make.  And who are you to criticise? What do you do for a living?
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Dec 1, 2011 16:20
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Indolent Bastard posted:What's your problem? Everything the Stern-iverse creates is top notch. It should be, everything costs a small fortune to make. Can we get a TechnoBeaver calendar, each month showcasing a gadget and Gary's spot-on-can't-be-refuted thoughts on it? Hell, have the ace photographer do it. Photoshop Beth out of her calendar, take the animals out, and put Gadget Gary in there.
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Dec 1, 2011 16:23
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bisticles posted:August's is just completely baffling me. He either darkened Beth or lightened the background, which is weird because you typically want the brightest spot in the image to be the focal point of the shot... in this case, Beth's face. He went out of his way to even her out with the blurry and clone-stamped-to-hell foreground. Judging by the way it looks like Beth is floating and the way the shadows are falling, I'm almost positive that he merged Beth and the dog from one photo with the background from another.
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Dec 1, 2011 16:33
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Brocktoon posted:I'm almost positive that he merged Beth and the dog from one photo with the background from another. He doesn't seem to realize how high-level that sort of editing is... "Ok, I can apply filters and pave over skin pores reasonably enough, so clearly I'm capable of major surgery." Anyway, this morning he spent a solid 20 minutes bitching about working an extra three days during December... Just in case you thought the Thursdays were out of the goodness of his heart, his contract does specify a minimum number of shows per year, so he was dragged kicking and screaming to this.
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Dec 1, 2011 16:42
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Brocktoon posted:Judging by the way it looks like Beth is floating and the way the shadows are falling, I'm almost positive that he merged Beth and the dog from one photo with the background from another. I'm fairly certain that it's a composite of multiple shots, but not a patchjob where he just dropped in the background and dog seperately. If it was, we'd definitely see more garbage where the dog comes in front of Beth, and when Beth comes in front of the background. I'm convinced that the setup was legit:  edit: HA! Except for the part where the dog's tail appears to be passing THROUGH beth's left arm. What I think is going on here is that there's an assistant (or stand) holding a light reflector disc to keep Beth's face out of direct sun. The shadow on top of her head points to this being the case, and the horrible clone stamping to the left and right of the picture look like him trying to hide the circular shape of the disk's shadow and the assistant's foot / base of the stand. If you follow the shape of her arm, it makes an abrupt change as it passes through the bracelet, and you can see the ghost image of where the bracelet was on her hand that actually is touching the dog. Same thing on the dog's rear leg. He blended (at least) two shots together and for some reason decided to feather the transition instead of just masking it properly. 
an AOL chatroom fucked around with this message at 17:05 on Dec 1, 2011 |
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Dec 1, 2011 17:01
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Mad Doctor Cthulhu posted:
That's the funniest Stern-related thing I've seen this year. Goddamn.
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Dec 1, 2011 17:07
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He could have avoided all of this just by loving her without a condom and giving her a kid.
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Dec 1, 2011 17:43
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Shes Not Impressed posted:He could have avoided all of this just by loving her without a condom and giving her a kid. At this point I think a kid would be less aggravating than three cats and a dog that requires round the clock medical care.
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Dec 1, 2011 18:05
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Dec 1, 2011 18:09
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bisticles posted:One thing to pick up from this, however, is that Beth is a pro, even if Howard doesn't know what to do with her. She is orienting her body and face to the light exactly how a fashion model should, with her nose pointing between the light and the camera. This is classical "feminine" lighting, and I'd be really curious to know if Howard understands any of those concepts, or if he just snaps while Beth composes the shot. Even in the head-on shots (November, September, July) she knows to angle her shoulders to catch the light right. I'm not one to kiss rear end but yea, you can tell the only professional working in these things is Beth. She's not in Vogue but she definitely knows what she is doing for all that this un-trained eye can tell. Which makes these calendars even more hilarious because models know what they do/don't look good in and whether their photographer is a total putz or knows his poo poo. She probably saw these edits and had to swallow so much pride to just pat him on the back and tell him he's doing a great job. Of course, I suppose every spouse has these moments in a relationship where it'd be far more crushing to tell the truth than just a little white lie.
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Dec 1, 2011 18:13
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I'd buy a techno beaver calender. But that would be SELLING OUT to your audience. It's way better to have a photoshop petshop calender.
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Dec 1, 2011 18:30
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Crotch Bat posted:I'm not one to kiss rear end but yea, you can tell the only professional working in these things is Beth. She's not in Vogue but she definitely knows what she is doing for all that this un-trained eye can tell. The difference of course...is that when you or I tell our better half something like, "No, your hair looks fine" it's not hair that is going to be seen by millions of people. I didn't listen past 7:30ish today - did he mention this at all? I might passive aggressively tweet that article at him today. I'm having a lovely day, it might make me feel better.
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Dec 1, 2011 18:32
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AxeManiac posted:I'd buy a techno beaver calender. But that would be SELLING OUT to your audience. It's way better to have a photoshop petshop calender. For one of the worst-rated charities in the country.
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Dec 1, 2011 18:38
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Kelly posted:The difference of course...is that when you or I tell our better half something like, "No, your hair looks fine" it's not hair that is going to be seen by millions of people. Also, you're not going to try to sell that hair to people so you can donate the money to a lovely charity.
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Dec 1, 2011 18:41
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"60 new replies? Something awesome must have happened on the show!" Something awesome happening, but not on the show. 
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Dec 1, 2011 19:35
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AxeManiac posted:I'd buy a techno beaver calender. Would it work in ski houses?
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Dec 1, 2011 20:11
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Vakal posted:Would it work in ski houses? If it behaves like the real Techno Beaver, it won't work very much at all.
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Dec 1, 2011 20:12
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Where have Sal and Richard been? They have been quiet. It was great to hear from Richard's dad. I'm sure he could get a job calling people once a month and leaving little messages. Hey AxeManiac, this is Richard's Father. He said I should call you, so I did. I found a dead deer in the walmart parking lot so I took it home and made a stew. Have a good day.
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Dec 1, 2011 20:15
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AxeManiac posted:Where have Sal and Richard been? They have been quiet. It was great to hear from Richard's dad. I'm sure he could get a job calling people once a month and leaving little messages. I bought a headband from Riley Martin, but first I e-mailed his site to ask if it would fit my head. (It's like an orange on a toothpick.) Riley called and left me a voice-mail message telling me that he had a pretty large head, too, and that it fit him with room to spare. I should have saved the message; it was surreal to hear Riley talking at me. I've been tempted to order a symbol from him, mainly because in order to get the symbol, he has to interview you over the phone so he can X-ray your energies (or whatever).
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Dec 1, 2011 20:19
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I remember when everyone was calling sour shoes and ordering his coloring books. I wanted to, but man, I don't know if I directly want to interact with any of these people.
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Dec 1, 2011 20:38
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AxeManiac posted:I remember when everyone was calling sour shoes and ordering his coloring books. I wanted to, but man, I don't know if I directly want to interact with any of these people. I like to think that Sour Shoes and Riley are on a higher level than rear end Napkin Ed, and wouldn't turn into stalkers. (I don't know if Ed has stalked anybody, but he seems like he might.)
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Dec 1, 2011 20:39
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I just have horrible visions of Riley calling me a mother fucka and asking for more money because I have wronged him.
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Dec 1, 2011 20:41
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AxeManiac posted:I remember when everyone was calling sour shoes and ordering his coloring books. I wanted to, but man, I don't know if I directly want to interact with any of these people. Sour Shoes was randomly leaving me personalized voice mails and it was probably the highlight of my life.
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Dec 1, 2011 20:43
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-Atom- posted:Sour Shoes was randomly leaving me personalized voice mails and it was probably the highlight of my life. You know, I was just going to say that - wasn't there a guy on these forums who Sour Shoes was randomly leaving him personalized voice mails and it was probably the highlight of his life.
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Dec 1, 2011 20:44
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What an utterly hilarious situation. I'm so sick of things being photoshopped to oblivion... it looks terrible when done by "professionals". Who are you trying to fool? Are we to assume that Beth's face is naturally covered in vasoline? If Howard honestly thinks this looks good he's far more delusional than we thought.
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Dec 1, 2011 20:51
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FogHelmut posted:You know, I was just going to say that - wasn't there a guy on these forums who Sour Shoes was randomly leaving him personalized voice mails and it was probably the highlight of his life. Nobody got poop mailed to them?
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Dec 1, 2011 20:57
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For the longest time I considered buying an X-rated talking Riley Martin bobblehead but it was something like $45 and I just could almost feel the buyer's remorse wash over me before I even bought it so I decided against it. Plus nobody else I know would get why I have a doll of a black man wearing an Indian headband and calling me a "cheap Jew motherfucker".
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Dec 1, 2011 21:09
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AxeManiac posted:Where have Sal and Richard been? They have been quiet. It was great to hear from Richard's dad. I'm sure he could get a job calling people once a month and leaving little messages. They've been on a ton this week. Sal got caught on the news saying something was "65-40" in terms of odds, Howard brought him in to berate him and it led to them begging to have some 1time bit players, leading up to Howard saying they've been submitting real clunkers lately and playing a few rejected bits (one of which was actually funny, the other was pretty bad) and Richard saying "Well we give you the bad stuff so you know we're working" which set Howard off even more.
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Dec 1, 2011 21:20
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Holy jesus, not breaking news at this point but these photoshops are terrible. He shouldn't have even bothered, I don't even know how he managed to make CS5 do such terrible poo poo since it pretty much auto-fixes everything with a minimum of actual artistic talent required (I know he wouldn't buy anything but the latest and most expensive version.) Beth looks like a Realdoll thanks to Howard's ham hands.
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Dec 1, 2011 21:55
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Gary's Love Tape negotiations on 101 right now.
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Dec 1, 2011 21:57
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Holy Calamity! posted:They've been on a ton this week. Sal got caught on the news saying something was "65-40" in terms of odds, Howard brought him in to berate him and it led to them begging to have some 1time bit players, leading up to Howard saying they've been submitting real clunkers lately and playing a few rejected bits (one of which was actually funny, the other was pretty bad) and Richard saying "Well we give you the bad stuff so you know we're working" which set Howard off even more. Oh, I've only heard Monday's show, so maybe the rest of the week will pick up!
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Dec 1, 2011 22:19
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Twelve pictures of Beth with animals and only one where she's not looking at the camera. Also, that cross-eyed cat is loving awesome. This could've been a nice, fun thing if there were more pictures like that and some actual interaction/letting the animals be animals instead of "Here I am being hot and looking at you while you look at some animals."
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Dec 1, 2011 23:13
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Howard's become that stereotypical celebrity everyone hates and he used to make fun of. Imagine if Brad Pitt had shot that calendar with Angelina Jolie and did the photoshop work himself. We'd never hear the end of Howard goofing on him and how Howard is a better photographer. It's just insane the he turns down books, movies, tv shows etc (all the time according to Howard  ) because they're not good enough and he'll be ridiculed if it sucks. Then he puts out this calendar. Maybe this is just an elaborate troll that Beth isn't in on?
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Dec 1, 2011 23:39
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Glumwheels posted:Howard's become that stereotypical celebrity everyone hates and he used to make fun of. Imagine if Brad Pitt had shot that calendar with Angelina Jolie and did the photoshop work himself. We'd never hear the end of Howard goofing on him and how Howard is a better photographer. It's more likely that Stern lies about being in the loop to save his fragile ego and is jumping in front of cameras to remind people he exists. He's pretty much like Eric the Midget: won't do anything cool, but will never miss an opportunity to make a flaming rear end out of himself.
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Dec 2, 2011 00:05
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It's the roll call, it's the roll call, it's the roll call, it's the roll call...
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Dec 2, 2011 00:09
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Howard: How many vegetables do you eat in a day, Gary? Gary: Next to none. 
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Dec 2, 2011 00:26
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I don't think Beth could be "in on" anything. I don't think she could hold up any ruse for long. It is kind of maddening how he can't see the Imus/Deirdre connection or just doesn't care to address it, but it is his show, so that is probably why nobody goofs on him but the listeners, the only people who can.
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Dec 2, 2011 00:36
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AxeManiac posted:I don't think Beth could be "in on" anything. I don't think she could hold up any ruse for long. ...for 30 seconds before Howard erupts with an emphatic "FUCKK OWF!" hangs up and then takes Bobo's call to sooth his bruised ego.
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Dec 2, 2011 00:54
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I have just been informed that I will be receiving the calendar (as a joke) for Christmas. I seriously cannot wait!AxeManiac posted:I don't think Beth could be "in on" anything. I don't think she could hold up any ruse for long. Beth doesn't strike me as the type of person who would be able to hold it together, either. She is so devoted to the NSAL too - I can't imagine she would let them be used in this way. Beth has really become a good source of entertainment on the show.
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Dec 2, 2011 02:04
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Indolent Bastard posted:...for 30 seconds before Howard erupts with an emphatic "FUCKK OWF!" hangs up and then takes Bobo's call to sooth his bruised ego. I just meant why people ask why his fans complain to him, because he pays or ignores anyone else. If I had the means, I'd hire all the wack packers to do a parody calender using Eric the Midget as the animal in each shot.
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Dec 2, 2011 02:07
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