Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

«‹›2810 »

Kavak: Aug 23, 2009

Shasta Orange Soda posted:

Respond with this. Ask them why they aren't thanking the Soviets several times for every American they thank:

I'd rather just see straight numbers of troops per country, including partisans like China's.

# ? Dec 5, 2011 07:29

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 10, 2024 04:19

Shasta Orange Soda: Apr 25, 2007

Here you go: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wwii_casualties#Human_losses_by_country

It lists military deaths, civilian deaths, and deaths as a percentage of population. Partisan deaths are grouped in with military counts.

# ? Dec 5, 2011 07:43

Nth Doctor: Sep 7, 2010; Darkrai used Dream Eater!
It's super effective!

This came from a relative of mine the other day:

Email from a relative posted:

TO THOSE IN MY HOUSE, MY HEART, MY LOVED ONES:

THERE SEEMS TO BE A SHAKING GOING ON AND I DON'T JUST MEAN OUR RECENT OKLAHOMA EARTHQUAKES. AS WORLD EVENTS ARE WIDELY SEEN BY SATELLITE TV AND THE INTERNET, THERE IS MUCH INFORMATION WE CAN WEIGH WITH THE SCRIPTURES THAT FORETELL US: "WHEN WE SEE THESE THINGS, LOOK UP BECAUSE OUR REDEMPTION DRAWS NEAR" LUKE 21:28. GOD IS TELLING US THAT JESUS WILL RETURN SOON! I WAS READING ABOUT THE END TIMES IN THE BOOK OF LUKE AND AS MY SPIRIT "WOKE UP" TO THIS REALITY, I STRETCHED MY HANDS UP TO GOD AND CRIED "ABBA, FATHER!". MY EXCITEMENT WAS BETTER THAN SANTA CLAUS COMING ON CHRISTMAS MORNING! I CLEARED THE SLEEP OUT OF MY SPIRITUAL EYES AND SAW THAT I HAVE SOME PREPARATION TO DO TO GET READY!

LUKE CHAPTER 12

35 Let your loins be girded about, and your lights burning;
36 And ye yourselves like unto men that wait for their lord, when he will return from the wedding; that when he cometh and knocketh, they may open unto him immediately.
37 Blessed are those servants, whom the lord when he cometh shall find watching: verily I say unto you, that he shall gird himself, and make them to sit down to meat, and will come forth and serve them.
38 And if he shall come in the second watch, or come in the third watch, and find them so, blessed are those servants.
39 And this know, that if the goodman of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched, and not have suffered his house to be broken through.
40 Be ye therefore ready also: for the Son of man cometh at an hour when ye think not.
41 Then Peter said unto him, Lord, speakest thou this parable unto us, or even to all?
42 And the Lord said, Who then is that faithful and wise steward, whom his lord shall make ruler over his household, to give them their portion of meat in due season?
43 Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing.
44 Of a truth I say unto you, that he will make him ruler over all that he hath.
45 But and if that servant say in his heart, My lord delayeth his coming; and shall begin to beat the menservants and maidens, and to eat and drink, and to be drunken;
46 The lord of that servant will come in a day when he looketh not for him, and at an hour when he is not aware, and will cut him in sunder, and will appoint him his portion with the unbelievers.

MY LIFE WAS BUSY, FULL OF "EAT, DRINK, AND BE MERRY" WITH A TOKEN SOBER TIME IN GOD'S WORD TO GET A SIP OF MILK TO HELP ME BE A BETTER PERSON. BUT LIKE BABIES WHO RECLINE TO SUCK MILK, I BECAME COMFORTABLE AND FELL ASLEEP. GOD WANTS US TO WAKE UP AND COME SIT AT HIS TABLE FOR OUR PORTION OF MEAT. ITS TIME HE NEEDS US TO GROW STRONG IN HIM TO BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND THE SHAKING OF THIS WORLD. SCRIPTURE IS FULL OF PROPHECY SAYING "WHEN YOU SEE THESE THINGS", TO "WATCH AND PRAY". THE SIGNS OF THE TIMES ARE GOD'S MERCY TO HIS SLEEPING SERVANTS ANNOUNCING HIS RETURN SO WE CAN WAKE UP AND PREPARE! JUST AS THERE WERE SIGNS ANNOUNCING THE FIRST COMING OF JESUS AND THE ISRAELITES DID NOT RECEIVE HIM AS THEIR LORD MESSIAH, GOD IS WARNING US NOT TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE! GOD SAYS WE NEED TO WAKE UP AND BE READY TO MEET OUR LORD JESUS AT HIS SECOND COMING BECAUSE THIS IS MANKIND'S LAST CHANCE. THIS AGE IS ENDING AND HE IS BRINGING FORTH HIS KINGDOM AS REVEALED THROUGH PROPHECY FROM GENESIS TO REVELATIONS.

LUKE 12:37 SAYS, "BLESSED IS THE SERVANT WHO IS FOUND WATCHING FOR THE LORD WHEN HE COMES, WHO SHALL GIRD (prepare, get ready, gear up; galvanize, brace, fortify) HIMSELF (IN THE THINGS OF GOD) AND SIT DOWN TO MEAT (GODS WORD). THEREFORE BE READY!" REV.16:15 "Behold, I come as a thief. Blessed is he that watcheth, and keepeth his garments, lest he walk naked, and they see his shame."

LUKE 12:42 IS ASKING WHO IS A FAITHFUL AND WISE STEWARD, WHOM THE LORD MAKES RULER OVER HIS HOUSEHOLD TO GIVE THEM THEIR PORTION OF MEAT IN DUE SEASON? THE TIME IS AT HAND SO WHEN HE COMES AND KNOCKS, OUR HOUSEHOLD MUST BE READY TO OPEN THE DOOR TO HIM IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE WE ARE EXPECTING HIS ARRIVAL! JUST LIKE WE DO WHEN GUESTS SAY THEY ARE COMING OVER, WE JUMP UP, GET OUR HOUSE IN ORDER, AND LISTEN FOR THE DOOR, READY TO CHEERFULLY GREET THEM.

GOD BLESSES US WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO ENCOURAGE US, BUT WE CAN'T "KNOW" GOD THROUGH THEM OR ANYONE ELSE. GOD WANTS THE ATTENTION AND DEDICATION OF OUR HEARTS. HE WANTS US TO INTIMATELY DINE WITH HIM AT THE TABLE OF HIS WORD SO WHEN WE SEE HIS FACE WE WILL KNOW HIM AND HE WILL KNOW US. PSALMS 46:10- Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

ONE DAY EACH OF US MUST STAND ALONE FACE TO FACE WITH THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE FOR HIM TO SEARCH OUR HEARTS. HIS SCRIPTURES WARN: DO NOT BE WISE IN YOUR OWN MINDS OR IN THE WAYS OF MEN, DO NOT HAVE A POWERLESS EMPTY FORM OF GODLINESS, AND DO NOT CLING TO THE TRADITIONS OF MEN. TO MANY HE WILL SAY "GO AWAY- I NEVER KNEW YOU".

I HOPE IN SHARING THIS WITH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS THAT WE CAN SPIRITUALLY ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER. THAT'S WHAT GOD CALLS HIS CHURCH!
A MESSIANIC MESSAGE FROM THE "ONE NEW MAN" EPH 2:15 ARTICLE SECTION: http://www.sidroth.org/site/News2?abbr=art_&page=NewsArticle&id=8657&security=1043&news_iv_ctrl=1053

EARTHQUAKES MEAN JESUS IS COMING!

# ? Dec 5, 2011 16:34

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Shasta Orange Soda posted:

Respond with this. Ask them why they aren't thanking the Soviets several times for every American they thank:

Holy crap, I knew the fall of Manchuria to the USSR was the 'real' tipping point for Japanese surrender, but I didn't realize the scale of it was that offbalane in casualties. (Though I should have as Japanese army doctrine and equipment was incredibly bad)

# ? Dec 5, 2011 19:03

Push El Burrito: May 9, 2006; Soiled Meat

Nth Doctor posted:

This came from a relative of mine the other day:

EARTHQUAKES MEAN JESUS IS COMING!

Girding my loins SO HARD because of this.

# ? Dec 5, 2011 19:16

Riptor: Apr 13, 2003; here's to feelin' good all the time

Sarion posted:

Also, Obama is sending light bulb police to your house on January 1st to kill you if you have incandescent bulbs in your house!

I was listening to Howie Carr here in Boston because I hate myself, and all the callers were calling in kvetching about the lightbulbs. Howie ends the day's broadcast with "Just think about it! They won't allow the Christian religion and prayer in school, but the Global Warming Religion is totally fine, and we all have to pray to Obama by buying what lightbulbs he tells us to!!!"

:psyduck:

# ? Dec 5, 2011 19:30

Ashcans: Jan 2, 2006; Let's do the space-time warp again!

You could probably make good money buying up lovely incandescents and reselling them to old conservatives under the brand of 'Freedom Bulbs'. Make sure to point out how you're a 100% american company suffering under the yoke of government oppression.

# ? Dec 5, 2011 19:35

darthbob88: Oct 13, 2011; YOSPOS

Shasta Orange Soda posted:

Respond with this. Ask them why they aren't thanking the Soviets several times for every American they thank:

Just noticed something else, which is probably better, for people like that; for every 4 Americans they thank, they should thank 5 Frenchmen and 40 Chinese for protecting their right to badmouth the cheese-eating surrender monkeys and our job-stealing owners.

# ? Dec 5, 2011 19:41

Taerkar: Dec 7, 2002; kind of into it, really

Slaan posted:

Holy crap, I knew the fall of Manchuria to the USSR was the 'real' tipping point for Japanese surrender, but I didn't realize the scale of it was that offbalane in casualties. (Though I should have as Japanese army doctrine and equipment was incredibly bad)

It gets even worse when you realize that Japanese casualties are heavily biased towards deaths/missing whereas other countries tended to have a more balanced split between them.

Japan combined military casualties: 1.7m Dead/missing, <100k wounded.

US (All fronts): 417k Dead/missing, 684k wounded. (Air Force and Navy have a higher ratio of dead to wounded compared to ground forces, about 2:1 for Navy, 5:1 for Air Force)

USSR (All fronts, so mostly European): 10.8m Dead/missing, 14.9m wounded. This may not count PoW deaths.

# ? Dec 5, 2011 19:51

Sarion: Dec 24, 2003

chesh posted:

My question is about her (and every GOP candidates) diatribe against the Department of Education. Seriously, what's the gripe?

Its any easy target for stirring up anti-federal nonsense. People think they know what it does, they think its a Federal overreach and a waste of money, even though they don't and it isn't.

Been a while since I looked at the break down of the DoEd budget but I remember it being something like:

1) Student loans and programs to help/encourage more kids get an education beyond high school

2) Programs to help disabled students

3) Studies to measure which States do a better job providing public education and why (I think this was 6% of the budget)

4) poo poo like No Child Left Behind

DoEd actually does very little with Public education, but people whine about how since it was created, public schools haven't gotten better. So it must be a total waste! If it was shut down the biggest impact would be people no longer being able to afford college, yay!

# ? Dec 5, 2011 19:52

the yellow dart: Jul 19, 2004; King of rings, armlocks, hugs, and our hearts

Really that Santa poem is easily the least offensive thing I've seen posted in here lets get some actual crazy e-mails like EARTHQUAKES and MOSLEM PRESIDENTS MEAN THE END TIMES. This is for crazy poo poo, not nit-picking.

# ? Dec 5, 2011 19:56

ts12: Jul 24, 2007

Another front on the WAR ON CHRISTMAS

# ? Dec 5, 2011 22:30

Kosmonaut: Mar 9, 2009

I like the idea that there are non-made-up holidays

# ? Dec 5, 2011 22:46

Bombadilillo: Feb 28, 2009; The dock really fucks a case or nerfing it.

Jesus was a felon, he was so bad he got the death penalty.

Also.

"gently caress your hoilday :smug:

"
"Someone didn't love CHRISTmas,

. ITS A WAR :black101:

"

Apparently Jews get a pass cause they are almost right.

# ? Dec 5, 2011 22:46

ts12: Jul 24, 2007

"heh, recognizing other holidays even exist? No thanks, I've got CHRISTmas."

# ? Dec 5, 2011 22:49

Sarion: Dec 24, 2003

"Take your Unity and Faith and shove it! This is CHRISTmas!"

# ? Dec 5, 2011 22:49

Bombadilillo: Feb 28, 2009; The dock really fucks a case or nerfing it.

Christams is a socialist holiday where people expect handouts. I wan't a holiday literally about hardwork and economics...

# ? Dec 5, 2011 22:50

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Kosmonaut posted:

I like the idea that there are non-made-up holidays

Uh everyone knows the 25th of december is Jesus' birthday, it's just history, libtard.

# ? Dec 5, 2011 22:51

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Nth Doctor posted:

I STRETCHED MY HANDS UP TO GOD AND CRIED "ABBA, FATHER!"

And the LORD did spin them right round, BABY, right round, like a record BABY right round round round.

# ? Dec 5, 2011 22:57

Plom Bar: Jun 5, 2004; hardest time i ever done

Bombadilillo posted:

Jesus was a felon, he was so bad he got the death penalty.

Holy gently caress

# ? Dec 5, 2011 23:09

chesh: Apr 19, 2004; That was terrible.

Sarion posted:

Its any easy target for stirring up anti-federal nonsense. People think they know what it does, they think its a Federal overreach and a waste of money, even though they don't and it isn't.

Been a while since I looked at the break down of the DoEd budget but I remember it being something like:

1) Student loans and programs to help/encourage more kids get an education beyond high school

2) Programs to help disabled students

3) Studies to measure which States do a better job providing public education and why (I think this was 6% of the budget)

4) poo poo like No Child Left Behind

DoEd actually does very little with Public education, but people whine about how since it was created, public schools haven't gotten better. So it must be a total waste! If it was shut down the biggest impact would be people no longer being able to afford college, yay!

Yeah, the cognitive dissonance actually physically hurts my brain.

# ? Dec 5, 2011 23:38

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Plom Bar posted:

Holy gently caress

I'm going to save that line for later when I get really pissed off by someone on facebook.

# ? Dec 5, 2011 23:51

Pththya-lyi: Nov 8, 2009; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

FactsAreUseless posted:

And the LORD did spin them right round, BABY, right round, like a record BABY right round round round.

Abba is the Hebrew word for Father.

# ? Dec 6, 2011 00:05

a foolish pianist: May 6, 2007; (bi)cyclic mutation

Pththya-lyi posted:

Abba is the Hebrew word for Father.

Also that line is Dead or Alive, not ABBA.

# ? Dec 6, 2011 00:23

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

a foolish pianist posted:

Also that line is Dead or Alive, not ABBA.

So how about them political email forwards, huh?

# ? Dec 6, 2011 00:33

chesh: Apr 19, 2004; That was terrible.

Just saw this posted to Facebook

quote:

The Muppets Are Communist, Fox Business Network Says

It ain't easy being green, but according to Fox Business, Kermit the Frog and his Muppet friends are reds.

Last week, on the network's "Follow the Money" program, host Eric Bolling went McCarthy on the new, Disney-released film, "The Muppets," insisting that its storyline featuring an evil oil baron made it the latest example of Hollywood's so-called liberal agenda.

Bolling, who took issue with the baron's name, Tex Richman, was joined by Dan Gainor of the conservative Media Research Center, who was uninhibited with his criticism.

"It's amazing how far the left will go just to manipulate your kids, to convince them, give the anti-corporate message," he said.

"They've been doing it for decades. Hollywood, the left, the media, they hate the oil industry," Gainor continued. "They hate corporate America. And so you'll see all these movies attacking it, whether it was 'Cars 2,' which was another kids' movie, the George Clooney movie 'Syriana,' 'There Will Be Blood,' all these movies attacking the oil industry, none of them reminding people what oil means for most people: fuel to light a hospital, heat your home, fuel an ambulance to get you to the hospital if you need that. And they don't want to tell that story."

Indeed, there was no mention of the benefits of oil drilling in the Muppets, but there was also no discussion of any other aspect of the industry. Richman, played by Chris Cooper, was out to destroy the Muppets theater. Kermit and his friends, then, were not committed environmentalists (though one must imagine the frog is concerned with his swampy homeland) but simply puppets looking to save a place they once loved.

Still, Gainor blamed the film, and its predecessors, for Occupy Wall Street and the environmental movement.

"This is what they're teaching our kids. You wonder why we've got a bunch of Occupy Wall Street people walking around all around the country, they've been indoctrinated, literally, for years by this kind of stuff," Gainor said. "Whether it was 'Captain Planet' or Nickelodeon's 'Big Green Help,' or 'The Day After Tomorrow,' the Al Gore-influenced movie, all of that is what they're teaching, is that corporations is bad, the oil industry is bad, and ultimately what they're telling kids is what they told you in the movie 'The Matrix': that mankind is a virus on poor old mother Earth."

The Teletubbies were unavailable for comment. Mahna-Mahna.

# ? Dec 6, 2011 02:40

Opinion Haver: Apr 9, 2007

Bombadilillo posted:

Jesus was a felon, he was so bad he got the death penalty.

And Moses was a ~~terrorist~~freedom fighter.

# ? Dec 6, 2011 02:56

Sarion: Dec 24, 2003

quote:

ultimately what they're telling kids is what they told you in the movie 'The Matrix': that mankind is a virus on poor old mother Earth.

Does he not realize that was the view held by the villian in that film?

I got another one today:

quote:

The Classroom
A lesson that should be taught in all schools . . and colleges!

Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha
Cothren, a social studies school teacher at Robinson High School in
Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten. On the first day
of school, with the permission of the school superintendent, the
principal and the building supervisor, she removed all of the desks
out of her classroom.

When the first period kids entered the room they discovered that there were no desks. 'Ms. Cothren, where're our desks?'

She replied, 'You can't have a desk until you tell me how you earn the right to sit at a desk.'

They thought, 'Well, maybe it's our grades.'

'No,' she said.

'Maybe it's our behavior.'

She told them, 'No, it's not even your behavior..'
And so, they came and went, the first period, second period, third period. Still no desks in the classroom.
By early afternoon television news crews had started gathering in Ms.Cothren's classroom to report about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of her room.

The final period of the day came and as the puzzled students found seats on the floor of the deskless classroom, Martha Cothren said, 'Throughout the day no one has been able to tell me just what he/she has done to earn the right to sit at the desks that are ordinarily found in this classroom. Now I am going to tell you.'
At this point, Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and opened it.
Twenty-seven (27) U.S. Veterans, all in uniforms, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. The Vets began placing the school desks in rows, and then they would walk over and stand along side the wall. By the time the last soldier had set the final desk in place, those kids started to understand, perhaps for the first time in their lives, just how the right to sit at those desks had been earned.
Martha said, 'You didn't earn the right to sit at these desks. These heroes did it for you. They placed the desks here for you. Now, it's up to you to sit in them. It is your responsibility to learn, to be good students, to be good citizens. They paid the price so that you could have the freedom to get an education. Don't ever forget it.'
By the way, this is a true story. Martha Cothren is the daughter of a WWII POW.

Please consider passing this along so others won't forget that the
freedoms we have in this great country were earned by U. S. Veterans.

Interestingly, this one actually is true. It still feels uncomfortable to me. Not because I hate the military or anything, it's just the feeling that things have crossed over from respect for soldiers into the realm of creepy military worship. It's getting to the point that anytime the military does anything, it was to "protect are freedoms, they aint free!" Except, as close as I can tell, no one is actually trying to take any of them away. What freedoms were saved by Vietnam or Iraq? How can we honestly look at the way we use our military if we view it through a blurry lens of everything they do is for our freedoms? It seems like if we really want to show these men and women willing to die for our country some respect, we could at least start by not being so willing to throw those lives away without good cause. Or maybe that's the problem, we don't want to have to admit to ourselves that thousands of young Americans have died needlessly, and it's easier to tell ourselves that it was for the most noblest of causes: our freedoms (and desks, because they don't have schools in North Korea).

# ? Dec 6, 2011 03:19

seigfox: Dec 2, 2005; Just an average guy who serves as an average hero.

The freedoms that we have aren't 'earned' by vets, though they might be protected by vets. You don't earn freedom, its a right. You get it for existing.

EDIT: I know it seems like a minor distinction, but alot of people seem to conflate 'privilege' and 'right', usually when they want to justify taking away some rights.

seigfox fucked around with this message at 03:33 on Dec 6, 2011

# ? Dec 6, 2011 03:31

Nelson Mandingo: Mar 27, 2005

Cowslips Warren posted:

I asked why these poems are always sent around written by an unknown Marine, never an Air Force guy, never an Army grunt.

Marines are kind of like the American SS. They're an army within the army who are portrayed as elite and such, when really they're just a bunch of dumb incompetent uneducated indoctrinated ultra-nationalists who are useful to the political party in power and that's about it. The U.S. Marines are even underfunded and they take this as a source of pride. Which is funny really because it just kinda goes to show how expendable they are to the powers that be.

Also you have to consider that while the military protects freedoms, they're historically the ones who also try to take it away.

Nelson Mandingo fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Dec 6, 2011

# ? Dec 6, 2011 03:33

Bombadilillo: Feb 28, 2009; The dock really fucks a case or nerfing it.

This is a multifaceted subject.

First, its not a crazy point, ARE FREEDOMS have been protected by kicking rear end on occasion. But then we go dick around in Vietnam cause of some psycho domino theory, cause if one small southern Asian country fall to communism then the world ends. No freedoms protected.

Also veterans and especially surviving families get treated like poo poo. It boggles my mind.

# ? Dec 6, 2011 03:35

Nelson Mandingo: Mar 27, 2005

quote:

Also veterans and especially surviving families get treated like poo poo. It boggles my mind.

SUPPORT ARE TROOPS!!! is the mode nationalists exist in while the soldiers are off dying, but when they come home and need our help it's "gently caress, YOU!! I GOT MINE!!"

# ? Dec 6, 2011 03:39

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

And you can't criticize anyone in the military or you're not a patriot. And if you don't buy a 99 cent I SUPPORT THE TROOPS yellow ribbon magnet from WalMart (made in China), you're not a patriot.

Funny, when the Nazis did it, it was bad. But it's done to us to protect our freedoms.

Or something.

So where is the ultraconservative version of that story, where a kid went home and told his parents his teacher was nuts, and the parents complained and the teacher, for trying to educate them American kids about communism, was fired? Or another version where kids whined to their parents and the parents brought desks in, because you can't expect a free lunch or help from anyone unless you're a lazy welfare queen?

I'd prefer a version where a parent goes into the classroom the next day with a desk and chair for his kid, and tells the teacher that education is a right, not a privilege, and tax dollars help fund the education in this school, and also her job. Assuming this is a public school of course. How did these kids earn the right to an education? Well, we have a citizen-by-birth law here, so that's how. And perhaps in addition to the veterans hauling in desks, have carpenters, furniture designers, architects of the school, authors of the textbooks, etc, all show up with their utensils as a reminder that no man is an island and we all depend on each other to make it.

But that's communism, ain't it.

# ? Dec 6, 2011 03:43

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

chesh posted:

Just saw this posted to Facebook

Jesus tittyfucking christ.

I'm calling it. Civilization over.

And I didn't even LIKE the new muppet movie...

# ? Dec 6, 2011 04:14

mearn: Aug 2, 2011; Kevin Harvick's #1 Fan!

chesh posted:

Just saw this posted to Facebook

How can the Muppets be so anti-capitalist if they are guided by invisible hands? :colbert:

# ? Dec 6, 2011 04:29

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

mearn posted:

How can the Muppets be so anti-capitalist if they are guided by invisible hands?

Psh, surely everyone knows that the Jews control Hollywood!

Or is that the liberals?

# ? Dec 6, 2011 04:39

Kosmonaut: Mar 9, 2009

Nelson Mandingo posted:

Marines are kind of like the American SS. They're an army within the army who are portrayed as elite and such, when really they're just a bunch of dumb incompetent uneducated indoctrinated ultra-nationalists who are useful to the political party in power and that's about it. The U.S. Marines are even underfunded and they take this as a source of pride. Which is funny really because it just kinda goes to show how expendable they are to the powers that be.

To expand on this, the Marine Corps is extremely specialized in both doctrine and equipment to serve as a sort of first-response force that can show up anywhere on the planet in a short amount of time and fight on land, sea, and air until either whatever they were sent to kill is dead or less flexible but much more numerous regular forces show up to reinforce them. The Marines themselves are told this is because they are more skilled than Army grunts but there's not much difference in their training programs and any difference in skill is probably explained by less-skilled Marines having a very high mortality rate. This is part of the reason there are Army Rangers and MARSOC, Marines were never supposed to be better, just differently specialized. That doesn't stop the Marines from passing the "best of the best" line they've been fed by drill instructors and such on to friends and family and from there into American culture.

Kosmonaut fucked around with this message at 05:36 on Dec 6, 2011

# ? Dec 6, 2011 05:34

darthbob88: Oct 13, 2011; YOSPOS

mearn posted:

How can the Muppets be so anti-capitalist if they are guided by invisible hands?

Nicely done.

Also, I feel obliged to note that the US Marines are separate and distinct from the US Army, and fall under the Department of the Navy, having evolved conceptually from the marine infantry carried on ships for boarding and amphibious actions.

# ? Dec 6, 2011 08:52

Ferrosol: Nov 8, 2010; Notorious J.A.M

yaoi prophet posted:

And Moses was a ~~terrorist~~freedom fighter.

even worse a terrorist who used WMDs on a civilian population(plague is biological warfare right?).

Ferrosol fucked around with this message at 10:17 on Dec 6, 2011

# ? Dec 6, 2011 10:15

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 10, 2024 04:19

Handsome Ralph: Sep 3, 2004; Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!

Nelson Mandingo posted:

Marines are kind of like the American SS. They're an army within the army who are portrayed as elite and such, when really they're just a bunch of dumb incompetent uneducated indoctrinated ultra-nationalists who are useful to the political party in power and that's about it.

I think you're really off base with that one.

For starters, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smedley_Butler :colbert:

Let's try not make gross generalizations because we disagree with the US foreign policy, shall we? Every large group has it's fair share of incompetent assholes as well of it's share of well rounded people, the Marines (or any other military branch, US or otherwise) are no different. Sure they may have a few more on average since they tend to attract Type A personalities, but to say they are kinda like the SS is an extremely gross exaggeration.

I agree the "SUPPORT ARE TROOPS" worship trend is annoying as gently caress, but you'd be surprised at the number of service members who get just as annoyed about that poo poo as you do. For every 1 service member that shouts "I EARNED YER FREEDOMS" there are 2-3 silently wishing they would just shut the gently caress up because he didn't earn anyone poo poo, and that showboating is for assholes.

Kosmonaut posted:

To expand on this, the Marine Corps is extremely specialized in both doctrine and equipment to serve as a sort of first-response force that can show up anywhere on the planet in a short amount of time and fight on land, sea, and air until either whatever they were sent to kill is dead or less flexible but much more numerous regular forces show up to reinforce them. The Marines themselves are told this is because they are more skilled than Army grunts but there's not much difference in their training programs and any difference in skill is probably explained by less-skilled Marines having a very high mortality rate. This is part of the reason there are Army Rangers and MARSOC, Marines were never supposed to be better, just differently specialized. That doesn't stop the Marines from passing the "best of the best" line they've been fed by drill instructors and such on to friends and family and from there into American culture.

You're mostly correct about this. I'd say the easiest way to sum it up is that the Marines are far better at quickly taking an objective and securing it, while the Army is far better suited to hold it over the long term since they have the logistical and support systems in place to support a long term operation/occupation. If you look at how The Pacific War was handled, you saw a majority of the time Marines being used to take objectives en masse, while the Army helped support and hold whatever was gained afterwards. This also happened to a limited extent in Iraq as well.

Personally, I think the way the UK and the Dutch run their respective Marine branches is what the US should be aiming for (Very small, limited operations, more traditional "Marine" roll), but good luck doing that in the US with way we spend money on the military.

/derail

For actual content, I got one of those "Holiday Tree" emails at work...but the irony was, it came from a state employee and was forwarded to a shitload of people, including a few people at my company.

Some Religious poo poo heel said posted:

FWD: Where is God in the World?
Apparently the White House referred to Christmas Trees as Holiday Trees for the first time this year which prompted CBS presenter, Ben Stein, to present this piece which I would like to share with you. I think it applies just as much to many countries as it does to America .

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God ? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Hurricane Katrina).. Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it.... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

The guy who brought it to my attention at work said he thought it was "interesting" that Obama would do such a thing. I sent him the Snopes link debunking the poo poo out of it and he was actually receptive to the fact it was made up. Ended up having a nice conversation about it and how religion really has no place in Government but you get people trying to cram it in there anyways with stupid poo poo like this.

I was going to send an email to the department head of the woman who forwarded this, but she sent out an email four minutes later apologizing that she didn't mean for it to go out to everyone. So I let it go.

Ironically enough, my home state's governor (Rhode Island) has started calling Christmas Trees, Holiday Trees at press conferences and such. I think he's just trying to troll people though because he's basically done nothing but piss all over the tea party movement and conservatives for his first year in office (calling for ID's and licenses for illegal immigrants, amnesty to their kids so they can go to college, calling for Marijuana to be declared a Class 2 narcotic/decriminalization). He also called Sarah Palin a whacko before it was cool in the media less than a week after she was picked by McCain to be his running mate. Governor Lincoln "Troll the Tea Party" Chaffee :patriot:

Handsome Ralph fucked around with this message at 20:12 on Dec 6, 2011

# ? Dec 6, 2011 16:53

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

«‹›2810 »