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Remember when GRRM posted that cryptic bullshit along the lines of "A good day, Snow started falling in New Mexico" or "The Knot of my belt feels a bit looser after that fat poo poo I took (into my 70s word processor)" and the sycophantic comments started pouring in like a bunch of dogs catching a whiff of sweaty rear end? And then GRRM got all pissy about it? Good times. This thread has really honed my creative ability to come up with scatological and juvenile descriptions. I'm ready to write taglines for ASOIAF porn videos. Shifty-eyed dwarf gets slagged in the rear end by a rampant Meereenese gently caress slut
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Dec 12, 2011 08:19
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Remember that time he had the big headline on his blog saying something like "It's finally done" and it ending up being a Wildcards comic.
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Dec 12, 2011 09:28
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Blind Sally posted:It's not a novel, but man am I pissed about this movie. I have been waiting for the teased Part II to come out for-loving-ever. Mel Brooks should do a History of the World Part III. That would really spaz people out.
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Dec 12, 2011 14:23
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Simon Draskovic posted:
Oh yeah? As a Pittsburgh child in the early 70s, he enslaved my imagination with Picture Pages... and then shits out a turd like that? Fog Tripper fucked around with this message at 15:43 on Dec 12, 2011 |
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Dec 12, 2011 15:41
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Dietrich posted:Mel Brooks should do a History of the World Part III. Or just Spaceballs II.
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Dec 12, 2011 16:01
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Liquid Communism posted:Or just Spaceballs II. Spaceballs IV: They've gone to Plaid.
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Dec 12, 2011 16:17
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Liquid Communism posted:Or just Spaceballs II. The Search for more Money
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Dec 12, 2011 16:39
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Mel Brooks successfully predicted the cynicism of the prequel trilogy over a decade early. The man is a genius without parallel, but Silent Movie proved that pretty well. gently caress all y'all, now I want to watch the poo poo out of Brooks' filmography.
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Dec 12, 2011 16:44
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Dietrich posted:Mel Brooks should do a History of the World Part III. Man I would be pissed if I didn't get to see Jews in Space.
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Dec 12, 2011 19:17
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Has anyone ever considered putting together a condensed, re-ordered version of AFfC and ADwD so it's written as one book with ideally 1000 less pages about loving ermine lamprey pies and nuncles?
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Dec 12, 2011 19:17
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IRQ posted:Man I would be pissed if I didn't get to see Jews in Space. Dune is not that good. Dan Simmons has two good novels then is bad.
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Dec 12, 2011 19:18
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Niccy Bones posted:Has anyone ever considered putting together a condensed, re-ordered version of AFfC and ADwD so it's written as one book with ideally 1000 less pages about loving ermine lamprey pies and nuncles? No. But maybe someday you'll get the junior novelization that you always dreamed of.
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Dec 12, 2011 19:44
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Niccy Bones posted:Has anyone ever considered putting together a condensed, re-ordered version of AFfC and ADwD so it's written as one book with ideally 1000 less pages about loving ermine lamprey pies and nuncles? Had the very idea this morning, then I realized I don't want to spend any more time on Brienne's chapters than I already have. Plus I'd only devote like half an hour a day to it at most and it'd take almost as long as GRRM to fart out a "complete" novel, though in my defense my financial livelihood isn't tied to the production of ASoIaF content so I'd be insane to make such a project high priority.
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Dec 12, 2011 19:48
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I never thought i'd found the answer to the ages old question Where do whores go? in mind the walrus's avatar. That is Tywin and Shae 5 minutes before Tyrion enter the room, right?
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Dec 12, 2011 19:54
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Niccy Bones posted:Has anyone ever considered putting together a condensed, re-ordered version of AFfC and ADwD so it's written as one book with ideally 1000 less pages about loving ermine lamprey pies and nuncles? Of course, but who wants to put that much time into making ADWD and AFFC not suck? Gurm sure as hell didn't.
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Dec 12, 2011 20:05
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zocio posted:I never thought i'd found the answer to the ages old question Where do whores go? in mind the walrus's avatar. It's really Tywin and Cersei's "bonding time" when she was a teen. There's good reason Cersei thinks she's stronger than any man, and that Tywin was the toughest son-of-a-bitch that ever lived.
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Dec 12, 2011 20:06
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Drunkboxer posted:No. But maybe someday you'll get the junior novelization that you always dreamed of. I might be a giant babby but you're a loving jerk.
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Dec 12, 2011 20:21
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There's no reason to be nasty he doesn't owe you anything.
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Dec 12, 2011 20:36
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You are a jerk.
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Dec 12, 2011 20:40
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mind the walrus posted:There's no reason to be nasty he doesn't owe you anything. We had a heavily-implied contract thank you very much. Go back to not knowing anything about appreciating creative genius.
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Dec 12, 2011 20:46
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I'm going assume none of you are professional shitposters or you would know; when you suddenly find yourself writing shitposts you never intended to, you can run into some serious shitposter's block.
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Dec 12, 2011 20:52
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:I'm going assume none of you are professional shitposters or you would know; when you suddenly find yourself writing shitposts you never intended to, you can run into some serious shitposter's block. blah blah wah wah
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Dec 12, 2011 20:57
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Niccy Bones posted:Go back to not knowing anything about appreciating creative genius. I'm sorry when I get raped I usually end up hating my rapist. I don't actually think GRRM raped me you dense fuckers
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Dec 12, 2011 21:04
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mind the walrus posted:I don't actually think GRRM raped me you dense fuckers Denial is a hard stage to go through, isn't it?
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Dec 12, 2011 21:10
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mind the walrus posted:I'm sorry when I get raped I usually end up hating my rapist. Here, have a lemoncake, it'll make everything feel better.
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Dec 12, 2011 21:18
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hailthefish posted:Here, have a lemoncake, it'll make everything feel better. Right until your rear end becomes a raging poo poo geyser because the lemoncakes are all poison because Gurm rubbed his poo poo encrusted dick all over them.
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Dec 12, 2011 21:30
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IRQ posted:Right until your rear end becomes a raging poo poo geyser because the lemoncakes are all poison because Gurm rubbed his poo poo encrusted dick all over them. No, no, no, you are thinking of shitberry pie; i know it's easy to get lost in the A song of lemon and cake series, but you should know better.
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Dec 12, 2011 21:34
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There were just so many feast descriptions, it's easy to confuse one recipe with another. Lord knows that man loves his loving lamprey pies.
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Dec 12, 2011 21:46
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Quick, whats the current secret targ status
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Dec 12, 2011 22:06
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Tyrion, Jon, Brown Ben Plum, Varys, Aegon Rivers, Lady (deceased). My man Aeris was a Pimp who did the 8 twice a year.
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Dec 12, 2011 22:27
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Ermine surcoat.
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Dec 12, 2011 23:01
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I'm hoping for a more step-by-step description of Tyrion relieving himself in TWoW.
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Dec 12, 2011 23:56
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I'm re-reading ADWD at the moment, after demolishing it it 2 days after it was published. Half-way through one of the early Dany chapters it struck how staggeringly un-curious she is about Westeros. Dany asks Selmy to tell her a tale of the old country and he starts yakking it up about the time he was dismissed by Joffrey and escaped the city killing a bunch of dudes on the way despite being un-armed. Dany cracks a snide comment about how Ned Stark is a traitor sofuckthatguy, but mainly she doesn't give a poo poo. Changes the subject instantly, starts pining about her dragons being locked up. It was the same situation when Jorah was on the scene, he'd be telling a story and she'd be like 'oh look at that butterfly', and instantly lose interest. I mean maybe Gurm is setting up a scenario where she is loathed by her subjects as a foreign barbarian when she FINALLY returns, but honestly I don't think so. Unless he really is just making this poo poo up on the fly, I don't see how he can get this broad to get motivated without it coming across as completely different in tone from the previous 5 books of moping and prevaricating. BeigeJacket fucked around with this message at 00:57 on Dec 13, 2011 |
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Dec 13, 2011 00:55
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Niccy Bones posted:Has anyone ever considered putting together a condensed, re-ordered version of AFfC and ADwD so it's written as one book with ideally 1000 less pages about loving ermine lamprey pies and nuncles? Here you go: Nothing Happens. The end.
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Dec 13, 2011 01:43
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Ross posted:I'm hoping for a more step-by-step description of Tyrion relieving himself in TWoW. The "winds", get it? *fartz*
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Dec 13, 2011 01:46
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BeigeJacket posted:I mean maybe Gurm is setting up a scenario where she is loathed by her subjects as a foreign barbarian when she FINALLY returns, but honestly I don't think so. That's exactly who she is though. To Westeros she would be nothing but a foreign barbarian. She doesn't give a gently caress about Westeros because she has no strong memories of her bloodline, and she doesn't feel compelled to because her material needs and any innate motivation to rule has always been satisfied. I wish I wasn't so loving conflicted on Aegon. On one hand Jon Connington is legit a cool character and I like the Aegon is the only character in the entirely of ADwD who actually makes significant headway on his goals without getting outright hosed by needless padding, but on the other it complicates and dilutes the very little impact and relevance Dany still has to Westeros. All it seems to point to is an absolute clusterfuck wherein it's Aegon vs. Dany in some capacity, and while that might be interesting in a vacuum we still have the Lannisters, Stannis, the pitiful remains of the Starks, and the Night's Watch complicating the proceedings and those are just the headlining factions. mind the walrus fucked around with this message at 02:27 on Dec 13, 2011 |
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Dec 13, 2011 02:24
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mind the walrus posted:I wish I wasn't so loving conflicted on Aegon. On one hand Jon Connington is legit a cool character and I like the Aegon is the only character in the entirely of ADwD who actually makes significant headway on his goals without getting outright hosed by needless padding, but on the other it complicates and dilutes the very little impact and relevance Dany still has to Westeros. I just didn't overly like how he is just thrown in to the mix with very little buildup what so ever. All we get is Tyrion being all "I'm very smart, you're the murdered son of Rhaegar, I'm so smart~". Just kinda poor form. fog tripper posted:Here you go: Fixed. Where do you think they'll take the "bran is now a time-travelling cyborg in a tree' plot?
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Dec 13, 2011 02:54
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Probably the same place Rowling took Dumbledore's Pensieve-- a way to dispense exposition and "flavor" history as a framing device.
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Dec 13, 2011 02:57
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Niccy Bones posted:Where do you think they'll take the "bran is now a time-travelling cyborg in a tree' plot? We we'll get to see all of those exciting events that took place under heart trees, you know like graphic murders, baths of blood, rapes, marriages, cannibalism, rapes, promises, rapes, promises of rape, and when the HBO series catches up sexposition. All in the next best seller from acclaimed author George R.R. Martin. There won't be another book.
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Dec 13, 2011 03:20
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Cant loving wait for Oberyn Martell sexposition.
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Dec 13, 2011 03:45
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