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IRQ posted:We are never going to get closure on that. Just give up. It will be revealed that Benjen found that he could warg into direwolves in his last ranging; unfortunatelly, he warged into Lady...
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Dec 22, 2011 15:12
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Coldhands is the body of Benjen Stark, but Ned warged into him just before he got the chop. I was certain Coldhands was Benjen, but some stuff in Dance made me think it wasn't, can't remember what though.
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Dec 22, 2011 15:17
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Junkenstein posted:Coldhands is the body of Benjen Stark, but Ned warged into him just before he got the chop. Probably the part where he said he was centuries old.
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Dec 22, 2011 15:21
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That would make sense.
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Dec 22, 2011 15:24
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JesustheDarkLord posted:Probably the part where he said he was centuries old. Was it ever mentioned how old Ben Stark was?
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Dec 22, 2011 16:01
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IRQ posted:We are never going to get closure on that. Just give up. I wish I could say that I even care who/what coldhands is at this point.
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Dec 22, 2011 16:40
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Jakabite posted:One thing that always puzzled me with that image: what the gently caress are the brown blobs that appear to be growing out of the Hound's left leg? Heads on pikes behind Joffrey.
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Dec 22, 2011 17:44
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JesustheDarkLord posted:Probably the part where he said he was centuries old. If it feels like forever between books for us humans, imagine how it feels to be in those books.
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Dec 22, 2011 17:47
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JesustheDarkLord posted:Probably the part where he said he was centuries old. I thought that the Children of the Forest only said that "they killed him long ago" and never said anything about an actual time frame
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Dec 22, 2011 17:57
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ZearothK posted:Was it ever mentioned how old Ben Stark was? He was the youngest in the Laughing Tree story, I think.
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Dec 23, 2011 08:37
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zocio posted:It will be revealed that Benjen found that he could warg into direwolves in his last ranging; unfortunatelly, he warged into Lady...
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Dec 23, 2011 09:57
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Because people are bringing back the Benjen discussion, I propose an addition to the questionably dead: Quentyn Martell We have a prince, ostensibly with blood of the dragon who ends a chapter burning. With Dani this manifests itself as a resistance to burning by magical fire and mitigation of dragonfire burns. Though he lacks the dragontaming abilities of his bloodline, he may still have the burn resisting abilities. Following his immolation, it cuts to Barristan viewing a body with a face burned so badly that the bone is visible and the remaining flesh is burnt. We also have no identifying features in his eye color, those are reduced to goo. Finally, he has little to no interaction with his caretakers, his lips are burned off and the description mentions he only speaks a couple words. Left undescribed is how the Dornishmen are captured or how much time passes between the end of the Dragontamer chapter and the events described in "The Queen's Hand". We therefore have an indefinite window for Drinkwater and Yronwood to hide their prince, possibly with the fleeing Mercenaries of the Tattered Prince and identify a terminally burned Westerosi mercenary as Quentyn to the Brass Beasts when they arrive. In the cell interrogation scene it is indicated that Pretty Meris is back with the Tattered Prince, despite her presence in the raid on the dragon cells. If other mercenaries escaped as well, they may well have brought Quentyn back with them for later ransom, or something. Alternatively, a Darkstar did it, despite a lack of ear references.
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Dec 23, 2011 14:04
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That would be horrible and stupid, would ruin the point of his character, and make the single kind of awesome thing he did utterly meaningless. What I mean to say is that it's canonical and we should look forward to the adventures of Frog, The Prince That Was Promised.
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Dec 23, 2011 14:12
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Fire isn't the only way a dragon can kill someone, I would presume. Their teeth and claws are pretty sharp too and I could see them even slapping someone to death with their wings like a swan or divebombing them from great height. So immunity to their magic fire wouldn't make someone automatically impervious to their attacks as a whole.
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Dec 23, 2011 14:19
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whowhatwhere posted:That would be horrible and stupid, would ruin the point of his character, and make the single kind of awesome thing he did utterly meaningless. Crap, I didn't look at it from that angle, he's waking dragons from their stone prison beneath Mereen and being reborn in the fire of being burned by dragons and the salt rubbed in his wounds by failing to tame said dragons. Frog as AA reborn? Maybe if we put a ton of peppers on grrm's next pizza rolls.
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Dec 23, 2011 14:25
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DrPop posted:I thought that the Children of the Forest only said that "they killed him long ago" and never said anything about an actual time frame The conventional way to imply agelessness or extreme longevity of a mystical race is for their perception of time to be much slower than the POV character's. Plus in 5 books Martin has proven that if he doesn't scream "HE'S DEAD!!!" with the body being used as a door prop then he's probably alive. So Coldhands being Benjen, despite it making absolute sense, is probably false.
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Dec 23, 2011 19:42
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DrPop posted:I thought that the Children of the Forest only said that "they killed him long ago" and never said anything about an actual time frame Yeah, there are very few time references - which is probably smart on GRRM's part. The only one I found on a recent re-read, besides Dany being pregnant, is that Benjen was gone for 6 months before Ghost found the Wights and tore off an arm. I've just assumed that each book takes up 8-10 months each. So it's just opinion of ~3 years = "long ago".
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Dec 23, 2011 19:49
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whowhatwhere posted:That would be horrible and stupid, would ruin the point of his character, and make the single kind of awesome thing he did utterly meaningless. Yeah, it would, people seem to always complain about him, but I think there is a bigger point to be made than just his failure. The whole thing happened because of the duty his family placed on him, and it didn't work out because of the whims of a teenage girl. One of the most important joining of families that could happen to Westeros and it went down the drain because of Dany. Which in the end, she married someone she didn't want to anyway. It seems to me it was meant to emphasize how uncapable Dany is(although that was quite obvious before), and to create the tension between Targaryan and Martell that would allow Aegon to take a foothold in Westeros.
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Dec 23, 2011 20:07
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Aurubin posted:So Coldhands being Benjen, despite it making absolute sense, is probably false. My call is that it's just like R+L=J and GRRM is trying to come up with the least bullshit explanation because everyone guessed it and he's trying to keep up with "subverting expectations" instead of just telling the cliche in an unconventional manner and then subverting expectations when it'd make sense to do so.
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Dec 23, 2011 21:29
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Serious question: Is the black fish gay?, why won't he marry?, is his sigil some sort of ancient dildo? You know, what a fish would look like after having beening used as such.
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Dec 25, 2011 00:33
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Him and Ed are old flames.
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Dec 25, 2011 01:28
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More like old flamers 
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Dec 25, 2011 02:38
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Merry Christmas, Wild Cards (and Cards at heart), you grumpy bastards. I love you all.
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Dec 25, 2011 18:23
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 Breaking the 4th wall is raping the integrity of this thread. You absolute fucker.
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Dec 25, 2011 19:24
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Remember when it was one year ago and GRRM had shitdick? The bad thread remembers...
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Dec 25, 2011 20:04
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mind the walrus posted:Remember when it was one year ago and GRRM had shitdick? Gurm always has shitdick. Merry Shitdicksmas, I hope you all get assaulted by a 500 pound "writer" in a Krampus costume made of pizza and neeps.
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Dec 25, 2011 20:27
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JesustheDarkLord posted:Probably the part where he said he was centuries old. Coldhands is Old Nan! This also explains why she knew so much about the Others.
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Dec 25, 2011 22:28
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The Belgian posted:Coldhands is Old Nan! This also explains why she knew so much about the Others. Look I might've been wrong. Benjen is Hodor 2, ie fake Hodor. Hodor 1, real Hodor, is Coldhands. Old Nan is the horse Theon couldn't eat properly.
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Dec 26, 2011 00:15
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The Belgian posted:Coldhands is Old Nan! This also explains why she knew so much about the Others. There stood the old woman, mouth opening and closing opening and closing opening and closing her mouth working her mouth agape opening and closing
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Dec 26, 2011 02:29
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I can't work out if that's a reference to anything or not.
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Dec 26, 2011 02:59
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whowhatwhere posted:I can't work out if that's a reference to anything or not. Whether it is or not, its vaguely disturbing. Old Nan was apparently a kinky woman, modelled after GRRMs own mother.
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Dec 26, 2011 03:03
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whowhatwhere posted:I can't work out if that's a reference to anything or not. Theon Turncloak stood in the courtyard of Winterfell, watching Old Nan, her mouth opening and closing
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Dec 26, 2011 03:06
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How was everyone's nightsoil this morning?
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Dec 26, 2011 03:17
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Vertigus posted:Theon Turncloak stood in the courtyard of Winterfell, watching Old Nan, her mouth opening and closing Oh, right.
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Dec 26, 2011 03:26
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zocio posted:Serious question: Is the black fish gay?, why won't he marry?, is his sigil some sort of ancient dildo? You know, what a fish would look like after having beening used as such.  fish = pussy black = rear end in a top hat so yes. kcroy fucked around with this message at 03:35 on Dec 26, 2011 |
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Dec 26, 2011 03:32
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Ser Brynden the rear end in a top hat Pussy, his banner fluttering in the cold vale winds behind him, black fishy dildo on a sea of bloodied brown nightsoil. He dismounted from his armored horse and approached the towering walls while his assembled men uncomfortably waited behind. A lone armored figure met his silent challenge with an outstretched hand. The apparent commander of the redoubt raised his voice and called out "Who would pass The Bloody Gate?" Instead of answering, The rear end in a top hat Pussy turned and undid the clasps of the browned chain greeves that protected his lower half, displaying his nude behind to the assembled soldiers atop the parapets of The Bloody Gate. "Know that my mission is honorable and my cause true; I must needs have access to the soldiers of the vale! The land is in turmoil and cannot abide the rule of the cursed Lannisters for one moment longer!" A chill wind blew through the Vale and lingered on the exposed buttehole of Ser Brynden. In the quiet, he felt distinctly aware of a dull rumbling that resonated throughout his midsection- the echoes of an earlier feast of greased lamprey pie. His moment was now or never, he knew, and action came quickly and decisively. Brynden bore down and a bassy staccato erupted from him as his bowels violently voided and shot their cargo as far as 3 feet from where he stood. It was over as soon as it began. The doors of The Bloody Gate swung open as the cheers of the gathered knights and men-at-arms drowned out all but his thunderous after-farts.
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Dec 26, 2011 06:39
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Ashrik posted:Ser Brynden the rear end in a top hat Pussy, his banner fluttering in the cold vale winds behind him, black fishy dildo on a sea of bloodied brown nightsoil. He dismounted from his armored horse and approached the towering walls while his assembled men uncomfortably waited behind. dat rear end let me tell you about dat rear end, dawg
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Dec 26, 2011 09:28
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mind the walrus posted:My call is that it's just like R+L=J and GRRM is trying to come up with the least bullshit explanation because everyone guessed it and he's trying to keep up with "subverting expectations" instead of just telling the cliche in an unconventional manner and then subverting expectations when it'd make sense to do so.
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Dec 26, 2011 10:22
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Undead Unicorn posted:R+L=J was confirmed by Sean Bean.
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Dec 26, 2011 16:00
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kcroy posted:So, how did all my little birds spend Shitdicksmas this year?
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Dec 26, 2011 18:40
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