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Zakmonster posted:This is getting a bit long, so if people are still interested, I'll post a few more incidents with Robert and introduce Leon, the Unwashed Skeleton. I sincerely hope that Leon was an actual skeleton, like something from Jason And The Argonauts, and will be disappointed if he turns out not to be.
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Dec 30, 2011 13:40
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So. In case anybody wants a little bit of Henriette on their computer or e-reader, I have compiled the whole story of Ask Me About Studying Law With A Girl Who Thinks She's Married to Sai Baba into a PDF and uploaded to Scribd.  Something Awful Henriette Saga Note that this is set as private and there are no tags.  If you do download it please don't upload it to any public site, especially Scribd . Henriette has a Scribd account and if she searches for the name of her true love Sai Baba it would be highly likely to pop up.I'd compile any other stories here and do the same once they finish.
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Dec 30, 2011 14:03
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Zakmonster posted:...if people are still interested, I'll post a few more incidents with Robert and introduce Leon, the Unwashed Skeleton. A thousand times, yes!
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Dec 30, 2011 17:47
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I'm sorry my last story was so  Would you like to hear about the time I caught an otaku having sex... with my (non-anime) pillow?
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Dec 30, 2011 20:57
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the kawaiiest posted:Would you like to hear about the time I caught an otaku having sex... with my (non-anime) pillow? You know we would.
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Dec 30, 2011 21:02
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the kawaiiest posted:I'm sorry my last story was so There could be nothing better.
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Dec 30, 2011 21:10
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Absolutely loving the stories, keep 'em coming! Unfortunately I don't think I have any odd enough friends. Although as my name is Jen, maybe I was the strange one and never realised?
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Dec 30, 2011 21:39
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Even if you were the strange one, don't worry. You were probably to the oddballs in this thread as a teen guitarist is to Jimmy Hendrix, but with weirdness instead of skill.the kawaiiest posted:Would you like to hear about the time I caught an otaku having sex... with my (non-anime) pillow? The answer is always yes. This thread hungers for stories about odd friends like Moloch hungers for child sacrifices.
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Dec 30, 2011 22:38
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Well, this one is pretty short. Back in 2006, I was taking some art classes at an art academy near my place. The classes were kind of poo poo, but but I was unhappy with my art and wanted to feel like I was doing something about it. Anyway, my class was basically just a bunch of nerds. One of the nerds was a really, really, really fat guy. When I say really fat I mean the "I wonder how he manages to walk" fat. He was also very greasy and extremely awkward. He was always wearing some sort of anime t-shirt (usually Evangelion) and kept talking about how he was going to be a manga-ka in Japan someday. Anyway, you get the idea; let's call him otaku-san. One warm December evening (I'm from Brazil so it's Summer in December over there), it was our last day at school and we all decided to go out for a beer. Otaku-san was always kind of left out and I felt bad for him, so I invited him to come along. I would, of course, regret it later. Anyway, off we went. I don't drink, so I had a soda. Everyone else just had beers. Otaku-san had never tried beer before, and -- I think in an effort to fit in -- he just... chugged it. Again and again... and again. About two hours later, he was all but passed out on the chair and we had no idea what to do with him. We all decided to go to my place because it was pretty close to the bar. We somehow managed to drag him along with us, and other than falling down a couple of times, he made it okay. I lived by myself in a two bedroom apartment, so I put two of the guys in the other room, otaku-san on the couch in the living room, and took the two girls to sleep on the floor in my room. Drunken good nights were said, and we all went to bed. At around 3AM I woke up feeling pretty thirsty and went to get some water. As I was in the hallway on my way to the kitchen, I heard someone moaning in the living room. I thought otaku-san was sick or something, so I went right in and turned the lights on... and found him on all fours on the floor, with his pants down, humping one of my pillows. I screamed, everyone woke up, otaku-san fell on the pillow, the other girls started to scream and the guys started to laugh hysterically. It was complete chaos. I felt bad for him but at the same time I was grossed out and pissed off as hell. One of the guys finally just told him to pull his pants up and get his stuff and drove him home. According to the guy, otaku-san was not embarrassed at all and spent the whole trip talking about how pissed he was that I "broke the mood". He then proceeded to throw up all over my friend's car. I threw away two pillows, a sheet set and a blanket that day, and I never heard from otaku-san again.
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Dec 30, 2011 23:22
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the kawaiiest posted:Well, this one is pretty short.  Count yourself lucky that you never heard from him again.
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Dec 30, 2011 23:27
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I'm not sure what this says about me, but after a years-long period of intermittent lurking, I finally registered an SA forum account just to post on this thread. Reading about Denise reminded me of a crazy friend I had in school, and in the spirit of crazy-middle-school-friend sympathy, I'd like to share a bit of her story. When I was 13, my family moved across the continent, and I started eighth grade at a new school where nearly all of my fellow students had been in school together since kindergarten. I was a total outsider, and being awkward and nerdy at the best of times, I had a pretty hard time making friends. I used after-school clubs to try and fill the void my social life had become, and it was at one of those clubs that I met the girl I'll call Calliope. Even to my confused, lonely 14-year-old self, Calliope was a pretty weird kid. She was obsessed with Disney's Hercules and had written fanfic about it, which she showed off to me pretty proudly. (In retrospect, the stuff she'd written was very typical adolescent-girl wish-fulfillment, but at the time it seemed mesmerizingly weird to me.) She claimed to be a "pagan Lutheran" and was clearly in love with attention, but she was nice to me, and we shared some nerdy interests -- particularly Lord of the Rings, which in the pre-movie era felt like the talisman of a magical secret society. (Yes, I was a giant LotR nerd.) We settled into some basic dynamics fairly quickly; she was the magical, special, crazy heroine and I was the sensible but boring sidekick. This was obviously not healthy, but I was young and stupid and lonely, so Calliope became my best friend. Once we got to high school, the weirdness deepened, and the spiritual weirdness began in earnest. Calliope wasn't precisely a soulbonder (although I believe she identifies as an elven otherkin now), and thankfully she never had an astral romantic life, but every semester or so she'd have some weird new belief system. Unfortunately, I'd been skeptical enough that she pinpointed me as The Cynical Nonbeliever, and I suspect I was kept out of the loop of a lot of her craziness as a result, but there were still some humdingers. There were a few weeks when she thought The Matrix was true, and there was some odd thing at the end of sophomore year where she swore that she'd sold her soul to the Vestal Virgins for 4000 years, but the big one was the year-or-two-long stretch where she claimed at she and two girls I didn't know were the triumvirate "soul-daughters" of the goddess Kali and were active on astral plane, where Calliope was a "guardian dragon." This set of mythology got expanded on quite a bit, and since we weren't really on great terms anymore by that point, it was also used as the basis of some high-school-girl sniping. The real problem with Calliope, in the end, wasn't that she was crazy but that she was desperate for attention and, ultimately, something of a malignant narcissist. She was mildly attractive, thinner than most of us in our little nerd group, and able to start dating early in high school, and she made sure that we all knew just how special and beautiful she was. I often ended up taking the brunt of it, probably because I was too "mundane," and Calliope all but told me I would die alone. As time went on and I drifted away from the nerd social scene, Calliope eventually came to control it, pretty transparently because she loved being the big charismatic fish in a small awkward pond. (Never mind that she didn't really have any friends or do anything socially outside of the nerd-hive -- she was still the magical elven princess, and that's what matters.) The toxicity was obvious after a while, and I pretty much severed ties with her after high school, but in retrospect it all screwed me up pretty badly. There are a lot of Calliope stories I should tell, so I may as well throw out a few for consideration: Calliope's Epic Adolescent Fanfiction Roleplaying With Calliope: So Many Special Elven Snowflakes The Soul-Daughters of the Goddess Kali: 99.8% Actual-Hinduism-Free Calliope Internet-Dates A Cannibalism Fetishist (And It's Mostly My Fault) Calliope Tells Me About My Past Lives Why In God's Name Is There An Elf In First-Period Calculus? Calliope vs. College (In Which Antivehicular Reaches Her Breaking Point)
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Dec 30, 2011 23:57
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I have to admit, kawaiiest, I was reading that story and going "okay, so some dude gets his drunk on and does something regrettable, big surprise," and then I hit:the kawaiiest posted:According to the guy, otaku-san was not embarrassed at all and spent the whole trip talking about how pissed he was that I "broke the mood". "Broke the mood?" Really? I can only picture him lighting a ring of scented candles, putting a mix CD of moe-anime EDs on the ol' hi-fi, and sprinkling rose petals on the floor before whispering to the pillow about how beautiful it is and how this is their night, baby, their special night.
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Dec 31, 2011 00:04
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Antivehicular posted:"Broke the mood?" Really? I can only picture him lighting a ring of scented candles, putting a mix CD of moe-anime EDs on the ol' hi-fi, and sprinkling rose petals on the floor before whispering to the pillow about how beautiful it is and how this is their night, baby, their special night. Hey, don't knock it 'till you've tried it.
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Dec 31, 2011 01:53
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Antivehicular posted:"Broke the mood?" Really? I can only picture him lighting a ring of scented candles, putting a mix CD of moe-anime EDs on the ol' hi-fi, and sprinkling rose petals on the floor before whispering to the pillow about how beautiful it is and how this is their night, baby, their special night. 
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Dec 31, 2011 02:01
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I finally caught up to the thread and oh my god I'm torn between  and  . I wish half the poo poo my weirdass friends do even came up to the amount of poo poo in this thread so perhaps my life would be somewhat interesting.Though I can confirm that yaoi makes people some pretty weird fuckers. "So wait, you want a penis from a girl who has had a sex change to get that penis as well as having that same sex change to also have a penis?" No you cannot do internet Google detective skills to figure out who any of these people are. I know this one girl, let's call her Lindsy. She is a friend of my girlfriend's. Kind of short, angers easily, based on Prance's description of people who can't seem to control their voice level, probably has aspergers. She is one of those typical weeaboo, "I love Japan so much gently caress Murrica," kind of people, any time I see her she's in some kind of anime beanie or wearing her random assortment of Chobits or Full Metal Alchemist keychains. She digs the yaoi, and frequently manages to brutally murder her computer with viruses and such on a quest for the perfect yaoi folder (It's gigs big, last time she openly told me how big it was around 3 gigs. This was two years ago.) She's into Hetalia, FMA, Tsubasa, and a bunch of other animes where the ambiguously effeminate males thrive, and seems to has an eerily powerful love for Elfen Lied. But she loves yaoi, and I mean loves it. She seemed like an overall normal human being until about 2 years ago, my girlfriend calls me up and the following discussion occurs:  Uhm, Bleck, I need your opinion on something. Absolutely! What can I do for you? Well uh, you know Lindsy, right, right, you've hung out with her. Yes, nice girl, how is she, I haven't seen her recently. * Well, uh, she's been telling me about something... weird, lately. Yeah, what is this weird thing? Well, she thinks she should've been born male. Uh, that's a pretty common thing, isn't it? No but, she says she's a male trapped in a woman's body, and wants to get a sex change. I still don't see what's weird about th- She still wants to get hosed by men. Uhhh.. But not just any men, she wants to get hosed by men who are also females who want to become men to have sex with men. What? Lemme get this straight. She wants to have a sex change, so she can be a male, so she can continue to do what she does now, which is to have sex with men...? Yeah, what do you think?*It was around this time we had all transitioned to bigger, better things, (like, not highschool). I hadn't heard from most of my friends who had found the ganja in our Senior year (They were awesome D&Dmates, too) and my girlfriend's friends were beginning to decline into insanity around the time college was looming over our naive little heads. I couldn't honestly tell her what I thought because I didn't know how to wrap my head around it at the time. This was news to me, Lindsy, who had gone from a really overall normal person who just liked to look at anime cocks touching anime cocks had suddenly just wanted to recreate her fantasies in real life, with men who were also females and wanted to have sex with men as men. Are you following this so far? I wasn't following it either. At the time, no was big enough.From the moment on after Lindsy had been informed I knew about her circumstance (I told my girlfriend that I was okay with her decision and that as her friend you should be too [I would later find out just how weird this was going to be]). As such, she got a little... pushy with how I was to treat her. 1) All conversations involving Lindsy, present or not, were to use male pronouns to describe his. 2) Nobody 'outside his circle of trust' was to know his dark secret. 3) We were to refer to him as Liam. (I would never actually do this and just continued to call her by the nickname everyone had given him, 'Shrimpy'). Anyways, Liam, who started to show some signs of 'manliness'* while still acting as if nothing was wrong as well as still acting like a girl about everything to get what she wanted and how she wanted it done, her room to this day I am lead to believe, still looks like an estrogen filled anime clubhouse, right down to several plushies of sugoi I am cute ~*uguu*~ plushies that she would cuddle like a five year old with. *'Manliness' can be associated with being rude, smelling like Axe, being overall stubborn, pretending to have nuts by lowering your voice pitch a few decibels, and random acts of aggression 'just cuz'. This didn't get really, really weird until... "I have found my soulmate, he's just like me, and underaged!" I was first introduced to 'Albert' about five or six months after this uncovering of girls-in-guys-bodies-sex thing Liam was into. Awkward, skinny, had this issue with physical contact with anything that wasn't Liam. I never learned his 'female name'. He was about a foot taller than Liam despite being four years younger than him and had the personality equivalent to an upset six year old who had just lost his favorite toy. This personality flipped to a bubbly I can take on the world outlook whenever Liam was within proximity. Did I mention Albert is four years younger than Liam? Liam is eighteen as of now. This was personally and legally disturbing. They never actually had sex during their relationship as far as I know (and for some unfathomable reason I think that's for the best) and would pretty much only kiss or hug like two long-lost anime sisters at all possible times. They would also do that gooey gooey mac and cheese fill your arteries with pain poo poo you see couples do during their first couple Albert I wub you so much! SQUEEEEEEEEE! I wuv you too Liam!*insert about two minutes of a combination of making out, cuddling, and some of the 'manliest' loud-pitched squealing I have ever heard in my life* I have no idea how the break up went four months later other than Liam having her world shattered like glass and Albert eventually trying to crawl back into her life after Liam had resented him for it. This doesn't nearly cover my excellent adventures through oddville, but I think I should save 'crazy Lindsy'** for another time. **A completely different Lindsy with a somewhat similar issue involving dating underaged people. Count Bleck fucked around with this message at 03:17 on Dec 31, 2011 |
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Dec 31, 2011 02:40
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I think Liam and Albert need to get some sanguinous wet willys. Not wet willies, although I suppose in a way that's what they're after...
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Dec 31, 2011 03:26
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Count Bleck posted:Let me guess. Neither one of them went to a therapist to check if they had actual GID, first? Because that's kind of important.
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Dec 31, 2011 03:32
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Antivehicular posted:"Broke the mood?" Really? I can only picture him lighting a ring of scented candles, putting a mix CD of moe-anime EDs on the ol' hi-fi, and sprinkling rose petals on the floor before whispering to the pillow about how beautiful it is and how this is their night, baby, their special night. People actually do this. 
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Dec 31, 2011 03:39
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Hedera Helix posted:Let me guess. Neither one of them went to a therapist to check if they had actual GID, first? Because that's kind of important. Correct. Konstantin posted:People actually do this. This is adorable. When the person doing it is under the age of 14. Count Bleck fucked around with this message at 03:46 on Dec 31, 2011 |
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Dec 31, 2011 03:40
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Count Bleck posted:
To be fair, it's not unknown to be transgendered and also gay. The second part... that might be a bit less common.
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Dec 31, 2011 04:24
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Count Bleck posted:Liam/Lindsy This girl is literally Gracie from that Mills College Anime club thing.
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Dec 31, 2011 04:28
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Count Bleck posted:
Yeah, as was said before, the first part of that is actually pretty normal. Gender and sexuality are completely different things. The last bit, well, that's odd indeed. Also, I think the emoticon you were looking for is
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Dec 31, 2011 11:58
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The rest is weird and he likely has a whole mess of problems, but guys can have girly bedrooms, and if they want you to refer to them as male, maybe you should? Unless weird people have somehow forfeited being treated with common decency.
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Dec 31, 2011 14:24
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The Sezza posted:The rest is weird and he likely has a whole mess of problems, but guys can have girly bedrooms, and if they want you to refer to them as male, maybe you should? Unless weird people have somehow forfeited being treated with common decency. No, it's more that these people probably have no gender issues beyond "it would be really kawaii to be a dude and butt gently caress other dudes like yaoi!!!" I've known a few of these people and they're not really doing it for legit reasons...like the one girl I knew who wanted to be a 6"4 bodybuilder dude because she was short and didn't like people looking at her tits (?).
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Dec 31, 2011 17:07
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I just think it would be nice to err on the side of caution, you can 'probably don't have gender issues' all you want but is it really hard to be respectful in the meantime instead of identity policing? It's odd its described as being 'pushy' for him to ask people call him what he wants to be called, that isn't out of the ordinary. He's a weeaboo anime-obsessed pedophile, I'm pretty sure that's infinitely more hosed up then any trans-related stuff people are focusing on.
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Dec 31, 2011 17:18
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The Sezza posted:
Is it wrong that this thread has me thinking this isn't as bad as some stuff we've seen? That feels really wrong. poo poo.
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Dec 31, 2011 18:09
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Please let's not derail this into another trans debate.  uglynoodles posted:She was so fat she couldn't sleep lying down because of weight related sleep apnia and while she did bathe regularly at least, her apartment was loving filthy and caked in old food and dishes. Her cats peed on things too and it smelled but she liked to cover up the stench with perfume. Purple skirts, oddly, were a favourite of hers. Someone should chalk up long flowing purple skirts as a sign of batshittedness. Along with the controlling bitchiness, she sounds an awful lot like 'Hojo' Jen of the FF7 house. Corridor fucked around with this message at 18:30 on Dec 31, 2011 |
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Dec 31, 2011 18:20
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The Sezza posted:The rest is weird and he likely has a whole mess of problems, but guys can have girly bedrooms, and if they want you to refer to them as male, maybe you should? Unless weird people have somehow forfeited being treated with common decency. It's kind of awkward for you to start calling your friends "him" after referring to them as "her" for a few years. Liam expected the change immediately and flipped poo poo on anyone who didn't call him 'him'. I had some nasty bruises from when he decided to kick my shin for saying he about a day after she requested this of me. To this day it is still awkward. Count Bleck fucked around with this message at 18:48 on Dec 31, 2011 |
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Dec 31, 2011 18:21
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Count Bleck posted:I had some nasty bruises from when he decided to kick my shin for saying he about a day after she requested this of me. If a transgender identifies as male, is it okay to hit them back?
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Dec 31, 2011 21:01
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Twiggy Johnson posted:If a transgender identifies as male, is it okay to hit them back? I would say yes.
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Dec 31, 2011 21:18
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Only with an open hand. That applies for most of the people in the thread, actually. By and large they're too pathetic to actually punch. Is it too much to hope that a good slap would cure them of their hysteria, just like the movies?
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Dec 31, 2011 21:31
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But their hysteria is anything but a short lived tantrum. I think what they need is a good bonk on the head with a mallet. With sound effects and everything.
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Dec 31, 2011 23:12
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Hah, it just occurred to me how appropriate "hysteria" is here, considering all the astral pregnancies from wombs wandering around on the astral plane. ("hysteria" translates literally to "wandering uterus")
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Dec 31, 2011 23:19
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RebBrownies posted:Back in 2005 or 2006 I was a part of a Sailor Moon performing group. Our leader's ambitious ness would be our downfall. Things did not end well, hence why I refer to that summer as The Summer Of Which We Do Not Speak. Luckily, no one in the group was nuts (except for one, but she had actual mental disabilities, so it wasn't her fault, and none of the stuff she did was actually horrifying...well, other than taking our choreographed fights a little too seriously because, "they're the villains and we have to defeat them!" she's a good kid, though) In fact, I'm still very good friends with a majority of them to this day. Two of them are my BFFs. I'm mildly curious as to which senshi you were. Edit: also, the fact that you've met Kojiro James is horrifying.
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Dec 31, 2011 23:44
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I love it when whack-jobs bring people together.
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Jan 1, 2012 01:40
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The Ghoul posted:I reported Fantasmo for his aggressive derailing and general faggotry, and the mod gassed the thread. I asked where it would be appropriate to start a new thread (because, honestly, we weren't really talking about his book) and never got a reply. Sorry...  > Thank you for providing this vital information so I can start us a delicious new thread with plenty of anti-rear end in a top hat stipulations and a greater emphasis on the books themselves.Melissa stories wound up on hold due to the holiday hustlebustle, but should return within the week. I love you always, thread and contributors.
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Jan 1, 2012 06:15
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Knight of the 
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Hongkongaton posted:Good lord. I thought you might have been someone I knew and about poo poo my pants. I, too, was in a Sailor Moon dance group back when I first started high school. Hell, if I'm remembering correctly it was probably around '05 as well. I knew a girl who was really into Sailor Moon when we were in high school. We graduated from high school in 1999. She still posts hundreds of pictures of her cosplay all the time on Facebook. I mean, compared to all the stories in this thread, that's nothing, but...don't most people eventually stop? Isn't nearly 15 years of dressing up like Sailor Moon characters enough?
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Jan 1, 2012 08:25
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Sir Prancelot posted:Welp, I realize it's pages behind but there's the answer I've been trying to dig up for a week. < I hope you start a new thread soon! He's going to be appearing at a con my cousin's going to and I want to show her how messed up this guy is.
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Jan 1, 2012 08:44
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Sir Prancelot posted:Welp, I realize it's pages behind but there's the answer I've been trying to dig up for a week. < On a vaguely-related subject, is there a thread policy on posting, for lack of a better phrase, primary source material? If/when I post more Calliope material, I have some written stuff of hers that it might be better to quote from than paraphrase, and I think some judicious name-replacing should make it immune to Internet detective work. If nothing else, I'd really like to share her completely batshit, bizarrely cannibalism-focused attempt at a fantasy RP setting and the silver-blooded elven slave princess from it she inflicted on a game I was in.
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Jan 1, 2012 09:37
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Wandering Knitter posted:I hope you start a new thread soon! He's going to be appearing at a con my cousin's going to and I want to show her how messed up this guy is.
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Jan 1, 2012 10:04
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