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FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

How many times should I oil my wooden cutting board before its first use?

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ladyweapon
Nov 6, 2010

It reads all over his face,
like he's an Italian.

uberwekkness posted:

Kind of a weird question, but I seem to have bought a bag of frozen and undercooked burritos.

Do I just microwave them for longer? Cook them in the oven? What the hell do I do with these?
Pan fry those things in lard (or oil). It gives lovely cheap burritos a nice crispy shell.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.

FogHelmut posted:

How many times should I oil my wooden cutting board before its first use?

What kind of wood?

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


I have and am quite happy with the Victorinox chef knife, but am now looking for a bread knife. Is the Victorinox a good choice for a bread knife as well, or should I look elsewhere?

The Man From Melmac
Sep 8, 2008

Wroughtirony posted:

Shell off, they explode even faster. Takes about eight seconds.


You can cut up the egg into small pieces and then tightly plastic wrap the container, and then you just have little exploded egg chunks in a bowl. Warm, but not appetizing.

Do they literally explode like a grenade as in the story or do they just rupture?

SubG
Aug 19, 2004

It's a hard world for little things.

SatoshiMiwa posted:

I have and am quite happy with the Victorinox chef knife, but am now looking for a bread knife. Is the Victorinox a good choice for a bread knife as well, or should I look elsewhere?
Yeah, the Victorinox/Forschner bread knives are good.

I don't think I've picked up any gear from them that's turned out to be a clunker. I have one of their offset turners and it rocks too, for example.

Grushenka
Jan 4, 2009
Ugh, here I am again. My power shorted out last night while I was asleep, and so my refrigerator also cut out. I fixed everything and turned it all back on. The condiments (mayonnaise, mustard) were all sort of room temp, and I had a bowl of homemade bacon and lentil soup that felt cool (not cold) on the bottom and was basically room temp on the sides. What should I do with these things?

Cowcatcher
Dec 23, 2005

OUR PEOPLE WERE BORN OF THE SKY

Kenning posted:

You can make Greek yogurt fairly easily. Just make up a batch of yogurt (bring some milk to a simmer, allow to cool to 110F, add yogurt culture or live active yogurt, leave in a warm place for 24 hours) and then strain through cheesecloth for a couple hours. You can make a really big batch this way for drat cheap too.

It's not Greek yogurt if you're using the pasteurized 3% pseudomilk from the supermarket

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Cowcatcher posted:

It's not Greek yogurt if you're using the pasteurized 3% pseudomilk from the supermarket

And since real milk is illegal for sale in most (all?) of the US, welp. The only solution is to buy shares in a cow.

Kenning
Jan 11, 2009

I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.



That's stupid pedantry and unnecessary culinary elitism. If the water content is low enough by straining off the whey then it's Greek yogurt.

Wroughtirony
May 14, 2007



Benjamin Black posted:

Do they literally explode like a grenade as in the story or do they just rupture?


honestly, I think that if you have to ask three times, you're probably going to find out on your own anyway. It's your microwave...


(yes, they do explode like tiny, soft, eggy grenades, coating the interoir of your microwave with fine, greasy egg yolk particles.)

The Man From Melmac
Sep 8, 2008

Wroughtirony posted:

honestly, I think that if you have to ask three times, you're probably going to find out on your own anyway. It's your microwave...

(yes, they do explode like tiny, soft, eggy grenades, coating the interoir of your microwave with fine, greasy egg yolk particles.)

Oh, nothing like that, it just give me an idea is all.

c0ldfuse
Jun 18, 2004

The pursuit of excellence.
I don't know where else to post this but :gonk: that photo

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory/paula-deen-teams-novo-nordisk-diabetes-15377342#.TxWDeIHILUk

Paula Deen teams with Novo Nordisk on diabetes medicine release.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Can you just leave the yogurt mix sitting around and have it develop properly? I have my first batch in the rice cooker on warm as was recommended, but I think it might be too hot, it's not thickening at all. I don't have any other way to keep it warm though, no oven with a pilot light or anything. Assuming my starter yogurt even had active cultures, my Korean's not up to the task of figuring that out. Ugh. I just want a bigass tub of yogurt instead of these little two spoonful things.

baquerd
Jul 2, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Grand Fromage posted:

Can you just leave the yogurt mix sitting around and have it develop properly? I have my first batch in the rice cooker on warm as was recommended, but I think it might be too hot, it's not thickening at all. I don't have any other way to keep it warm though, no oven with a pilot light or anything. Assuming my starter yogurt even had active cultures, my Korean's not up to the task of figuring that out. Ugh. I just want a bigass tub of yogurt instead of these little two spoonful things.

What temperature is it and what did you use as a culture?

bongwizzard
May 19, 2005

Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"
Grimey Drawer

Wroughtirony posted:

honestly, I think that if you have to ask three times, you're probably going to find out on your own anyway. It's your microwave...


(yes, they do explode like tiny, soft, eggy grenades, coating the interoir of your microwave with fine, greasy egg yolk particles.)

Buying a microwave at the thrift store as soon as I get back into town.

Lyssavirus
Oct 9, 2007
Symptoms include swelling of the brain (encephalitis), numbness, muscle weakness, coma, and death.
Then, after the egg, microwave a CD you don't want! They turn awesome colors. :haw:

I made a potato and leek soup the other day and then got drunk before adding the cream and I added the whole goddamn pint. In order to make this edible again, can I stick it back on the stove and add a bunch more potato and leek to it? It was really good before I cocked it up, and I can't afford to throw out that much food.

pnumoman
Sep 26, 2008

I never get the last word, and it makes me very sad.

Grand Fromage posted:

Can you just leave the yogurt mix sitting around and have it develop properly? I have my first batch in the rice cooker on warm as was recommended, but I think it might be too hot, it's not thickening at all. I don't have any other way to keep it warm though, no oven with a pilot light or anything. Assuming my starter yogurt even had active cultures, my Korean's not up to the task of figuring that out. Ugh. I just want a bigass tub of yogurt instead of these little two spoonful things.

When you're shopping for yogurt to use for the cultures, look for this chinese symbol on the container of yogurt. It means live/fresh/raw in a food context, and on a tub of yogurt, it should signal live cultures.

Cowcatcher
Dec 23, 2005

OUR PEOPLE WERE BORN OF THE SKY

Kenning posted:

That's stupid pedantry and unnecessary culinary elitism. If the water content is low enough by straining off the whey then it's Greek yogurt.

No dude, it's chemistry. We tried making yogurt that way, it doesn't come close.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


baquerd posted:

What temperature is it and what did you use as a culture?

No idea what temperature it is, which is the issue I suppose. I haven't wanted a thermometer enough to drop $100 on one. It definitely felt too hot, I let it cool and added some more yogurt, now it's sitting out at room temp (which is about 55-60 degrees, no insulation). I'm using plain Denmark Milk brand, it's the only non-Korean yogurt available.

Just going to let it sit on the counter overnight, it'll either be yogurt in the morning or not. Food experiments!

Grand Fromage fucked around with this message at 17:35 on Jan 17, 2012

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Cowcatcher posted:

No dude, it's chemistry. We tried making yogurt that way, it doesn't come close.

This. Just because real milk is harder to get thanks to the last decade's legislation doesn't mean it's not the right ingredient. Facts /= elitism.

I wonder if you can Frankenstein real milk by putting all the separately-sold parts together?

davecrazy
Nov 25, 2004

I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.
Any tips on cleaning a burnt stainless steel pot?

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA
May 29, 2008

quote:

Since this quick cake appears to be a colossal failure, and in the interest of culinary experimentation, allow me to provide you good people with a super-delicious alternative, my five-minute, microwaved Huevos Rancheros!

As it stands, it's one of the simplest and quickest microwave recipes, and boasts one of the most flavorful experiences in regards to other stuff you've tried to cook with microwaves.


Ingredients:

2 Huevos
1 Rancheros

Instructions:

Place eggs in a cup, put salsa on it.



Put in microwave for 3 minutes on maximum power (1000watt)



Scoop contents back into the mug enjoy!

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

^^^ :lol:


davecrazy posted:

Any tips on cleaning a burnt stainless steel pot?

Elbow grease and steel wool

davecrazy
Nov 25, 2004

I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.

Casu Marzu posted:

^^^ :lol:


Elbow grease and steel wool

but I want chemistry to do the work FOR me!

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

Brake cleaner.

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer

davecrazy posted:

Any tips on cleaning a burnt stainless steel pot?

I once soaked a pot for 3 days because my wife was reducing maple syrup, and reduced it to the carbon stage. After 3 days, it started coming off in pieces. gently caress using elbow grease, just wait that poo poo out.

davecrazy
Nov 25, 2004

I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.
I have no idea who this chick is but since her method was the one that seemed fastest and used stuff I actually had on had (lots of other suggestions involved letting the pot sit in ammonia fumes overnight in a sealed bag) it's the one I tried.

Worked as advertised. The thing went from totally burnt crust coating the bottom and sides to metal finsih with about 60 seconds of easy scrubbing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=590HAW---ts

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

Generalisimo Halal posted:

What kind of wood?

Beech.

CzarChasm
Mar 14, 2009

I don't like it when you're watching me eat.

Grushenka posted:

Ugh, here I am again. My power shorted out last night while I was asleep, and so my refrigerator also cut out. I fixed everything and turned it all back on. The condiments (mayonnaise, mustard) were all sort of room temp, and I had a bowl of homemade bacon and lentil soup that felt cool (not cold) on the bottom and was basically room temp on the sides. What should I do with these things?

The mustard is fine (vinegar, water and spices afterall), ketchup I'd say is ok, worstershire would be fine. Smell the mayo before using, but if the fridge was closed the whole time, you might be OK. I wouldn't do so personally. And for about $2 you can buy another whole jar. I'll say that most salty or acidic condiments are going to be fine.

As for the soup, was it in a sealed vessel or an open pot? If it was sealed I'd still go for it, opened -> Toss.

Any raw meat I would toss but any smoked/cooked meat should be OK.

Cheese probably suffered a loss in texture and flavor quality, but is probably not dangerous. Probably the same with any dairy, but I won't drink milk unless it's ice cold anyway.

Any fruits or veggies will be fine as well.

More answers than you asked for, but I'm assuming that you had more than homemade soup and condiments in your fridge.

Grushenka
Jan 4, 2009
Thanks! I kept the mustard but ended up tossing the mayonnaise and the soup to be on the safe side. Thankfully there wasn't much else in the refrigerator (planning on doing a shop tomorrow) but that definitely kind of sucked to lose my dinner for the next few days :(

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Casu Marzu posted:

Brake cleaner.

I know you're at least half joking, but this is usually just isopropyl alcohol in a pressurized can.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.

Splizwarf posted:

I know you're at least half joking, but this is usually just isopropyl alcohol in a pressurized can.

No it's not you dolt, and it is highly dangerous if near an ignition source (say, on a pan near a stove). That's because it will release phosgene gas if ignited. Brake cleaner shouldn't be anywhere near your kitchen.

Kenning
Jan 11, 2009

I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.



c0ldfuse posted:

I don't know where else to post this but :gonk: that photo

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory/paula-deen-teams-novo-nordisk-diabetes-15377342#.TxWDeIHILUk

Paula Deen teams with Novo Nordisk on diabetes medicine release.

Come on down to the chat thread for all your disgusting link posting needs.

Cowcatcher posted:

No dude, it's chemistry. We tried making yogurt that way, it doesn't come close.

I've made yogurt plenty of times using grocery store milk because it wasn't worth paying 4 times as much for raw milk. Commercial yogurt is not made from only unpasteurized non-homogenized milk. If you're saying that Greek yogurt won't be as good with grocery store milk, I'll give you that. Maybe it also won't be as authentic. But that's elitism, not chemistry.

edit: Look, I'm just trying to get that dude to try making some yogurt he can't find in a store.

Camembert
Feb 9, 2007
I like cheese.
Hey guys, I'm very new at cooking meat, but recently got it in my head that I was going to cook a whole chicken. So I have this chicken sitting in my fridge that I have to cook for tomorrow. However, now that I have started reading a few different things in this forum, it looks like most people use a meat thermometer? I grew up with horribly overcooked meat and my family never used one of these things, in fact, I didn't know there was such a thing before, so I don't have one. Unfortunately, due to my work schedule, there's no way that I'll be able to get to a store and purchase one before this thing needs to be cooked! Can anyone give me general times/oven temps/tips to cook a roughly 4lb chicken without a meat thermometer? I understand it'll probably be hard to tell when it's perfect, so it will probably be a bit overcooked, but I'll be sure to get a thermometer before I attempt another bird.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
They quality of milk varies wildly between states and brands. What cowcatcher has seen may well be the case, and what kenning says may be too. There is almost no consistency despite what the labels say, so experiment and see what happens. It is like 10 bucks you are either reaping or wasting.

The Peacock
Dec 3, 2010

Steve Yun posted:

I warmed up a hard boiled egg in the microwave, opened the door, looked at it, no cracks, no signs of cracking, bursting, anything. Took it back to my desk, started browsing the web and then cracked into the shell using my thumb.

POOF

The soft muffled sound of a magician's smoke bomb as the top half exploded in my face. The particles of egg that were projected were incredibly fine, like dust almost. I opened my eyes (my lashes coated in egg bits like they were snowflakes) and realized that the explosion wasn't just powerful enough to coat my face, it had powdered my desk and the walls with egg. I frantically spent an hour cleaning that poo poo up, terrified of what my room would smell like if I didn't find and clean up every single last bit.

:golfclap:

Now I want to try this.

Question: Put bananas in the fridge, they froze (the fridge is wildly different temps from front to back)...I just took them out, should I expect any noticeable difference ie: mushier, weird texture?

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer

The Peacock posted:

Question: Put bananas in the fridge, they froze (the fridge is wildly different temps from front to back)...I just took them out, should I expect any noticeable difference ie: mushier, weird texture?

They will be crazy mushy. You shouldn't even refrigerate them. I freeze and thaw them when I make banana ice cream though. Hell, you can even puree a frozen banana to make an ice cream like treat.

SubG
Aug 19, 2004

It's a hard world for little things.

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

They will be crazy mushy. You shouldn't even refrigerate them. I freeze and thaw them when I make banana ice cream though. Hell, you can even puree a frozen banana to make an ice cream like treat.
Bananas like the climate of the very, very tropical equator,
So you should never put bananas in the refrigerator.

Listen to Chiquita Banana, kids.

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Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Kenning posted:

If you're saying that Greek yogurt won't be as good with grocery store milk, I'll give you that.

This is all I was saying; authenticity was not (is never?) my concern. He definitely should try doing it, it's fun and seriously delicious (plus the state-change is weirdly magical). Sorry for misunderstanding.

Mr. Wiggles posted:

No it's not you dolt, and it is highly dangerous if near an ignition source (say, on a pan near a stove). That's because it will release phosgene gas if ignited. Brake cleaner shouldn't be anywhere near your kitchen.

You're thinking of the tetrachloroethylene additive for making the alcohol dry faster, which has been illegal in US brake cleaners for at least a decade (for exactly the reason you're right about). They're just pressurized alcohol nowadays, in the US at least.

I am not a dolt, thank you. :colbert:

Splizwarf fucked around with this message at 03:31 on Jan 18, 2012

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