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While the thread is on the subject of creepers, I should tell one of the Calliope stories I've been meaning to since I started posting here. It's lengthy, but I think it's worth it. Previous Calliope Stories: An Introduction Calliope's Hercules Fanfiction Calliope Is Terrible To Shop With Allow me to introduce a dude so awful I'm not even going to invent a pseudonym for him: Rotty: The Internet Dude Your Mom Warned You About I first met Rotty when he showed up on my usual hangout, an MST3K-fan IRC server, as the coauthor of a story we were planning on riffing. Said story was an alternate-universe Star Trek: TNG story about hypersexualized adolescents, but this didn't necessarily raise any red flags for me. After all, my then-boyfriend had shown up at the group thanks to his anime tentacle-rape fanfic getting riffed, and he was nice enough, right? I was an idiot. Rotty and I became friends, but the longer I knew him, the more it became clear that the man was a steaming pile of id contained imperfectly in human skin. First of all, he fell in love with any woman he didn't figure would kill him for it, and soon enough, he confessed his love for me and started being extremely passive-aggressive about my dating someone. He had a lot of fetishes and bizarre peccadillos, and he had basically no shame, so we (and especially I) got to hear all about them: his love for BDSM, especially slavery stuff; his irrational but extremely strong disdain for pants; his never-explained hatred of his parents, with whom he still lived despite being college-aged; his transformation fetish; and most memorably... his cannibalism fetish. Yes, Rotty had a boner for cannibalism, particularly the live-cooking and eating of young women. I got to hear about this at some length, to the point that he would even complain about stupid lines in his cannibal-fetish spank fodder at me, while I as a Geek Social Fallacies-infested idiot just "uh-huh"ed and tried not to be nauseous. The best part is that he continued holding a torch for me all this time, so I can only imagine it being some kind of bizarre reverse courtship ritual -- showing off the most shameful and disgusting parts of himself to try and win my heart. Needless to say, I got pretty sick of Rotty after a while, and I was desperate to fob him off... and Calliope was between boyfriends. I had a terrible plan. When Rotty Met Calliope I forget how precisely I introduced them -- probably just giving them each other's e-mail addresses -- but I introduced Rotty and Calliope to one another, and they hit it off. Calliope was between boyfriends, and it was our junior year in high school, so she was starting to run low on potentials; I want to say she'd already threatened bisexuality a time or two, so she was eager for romantic attention. Rotty, of course, was not picky. It was a match made in Hell. Somehow, they managed to date over the Internet for nearly a year, and her relationship with Rotty unlocked something in Calliope. She'd always had some dark sexual undertones before, but previously she'd tried to be sly about them; dating Rotty brought them out in force, and they stuck around. The BDSM bit didn't surprise me much... but what did surprise me is the depth to which she indulged his cannibalism fetish. This produced perhaps the most terrifying single moment of our long, weird friendship. The terror went down in Calliope's kitchen. I was over at her house, we were talking, and somehow Rotty came up. Calliope, with great pride, revealed to me his pet name for her: "succulent cutlet." There aren't enough  s in the world.The worst part of it is that even those two dating didn't actually get Rotty to leave me the hell alone. I had the displeasure of meeting him in person that summer at a meetup for the IRC group, and from the moment we met in person, he launched into his strange attempted courtship again. He gave me a bag of bulk candy he bought at the airport (I did not eat it); whenever I would sit down, he would race to sit next to me before my boyfriend could; he freaked out at length at my roommate (to whom he'd also confessed his love!) about her letting my boyfriend and me have a little private time in the room; and finally, when I was stuck in the airport with him waiting for our shared connecting flight, his lecturing me about how he didn't understand what I saw in my boyfriend. All that, and he looked like a nerdy Archie gone to seed. What a catch! Well, at least he wore pants.
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Jan 25, 2012 12:12
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schunoko posted:"So...you know...Del Taco has this Taco Tuesday where it's 3 tacos for 99 cents. I was wondering if I could treat you to dinner." wait what this has always worked with me. 
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Jan 25, 2012 12:35
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Corridor posted:I remember when I was a little girl, I used to daydream about being a fairy princess in a tower, and being greeted by a handsome prince in shining armour on a white horse, who would invite me to dinner at a fast-food weekly dollar special. I'm glad to know that pick up style won't work! Seriously though what the gently caress is wrong with these people?
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Jan 25, 2012 12:47
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Antivehicular posted:his irrational but extremely strong disdain for pants; To be fair pants are uncomfortable and I dislike wearing them.
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Jan 25, 2012 14:56
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Antivehicular posted:Rotty... hypersexualized adolescents... his love for BDSM... nerdy Archie gone to seed... Is this Rottweiler from tvtropes?
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Jan 25, 2012 15:48
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The Saddest Rhino posted:Is this Rottweiler from tvtropes? I hope that's him. That guy has it all... A trenchcoat, katana, and a rape van.  I bet the only reason he doesn't wear a fedora is it'd mess up his glorious ginger
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Jan 25, 2012 16:24
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Clipperton posted:Apologies if this has already been covered, but are any of these people aware that "otaku" is NOT A COMPLIMENT? This actually reminds me of a nutter I know on AIM. I don't even remember where I got this guys details, all I know is one day I was going through my list, clearing it out, when I struck up a conversation with the worlds greatest swordsman, martial artist extraordinaire, genius chef and all-round Goku, Pax. Our first conversation involved me telling him why referring to himself as an 'otaku' is a really dumb and kinda like calling yourself 'Serial Killer Shutin Desu' involving me translating Otaku for him, explaining the stigma attached to the term and him stonewalling me with 'Well that's my identity, none of that matters' Oy, ok, nevermind. What do you do anyway? Well, our boy Pax doesn't do anything, at least at this point. He would later 'join the army' and spend days kicking rear end and teaching CQC for the Sargents' at the base. Right now he mostly sat around and drank vodka and told me about how he could make earthquakes with his mind. He regaled me on many occasions with detailed tales of how he knew levitation was possible, how he never exercised, but was in amazing shape because of how amazing he was with a sword (No.1 in the world, just so everyone is following). He of course learned his super powerful martial art (which he used on the black kids in his school. Apparently.) from watching Bruce Lee movies. That whole black kids thing was a super messed up with with Pax. He never could work out why I thought calling the kids at his school 'hosed up gangsters with their low pants' was kinda hosed up, but that's Pax all over. Kinda hosed Up. Anyway, point is, no, Otakus think Otaku is a perfectly fine term to use to describe themselves. (I'll post more about Pax's military adventure next time. I don't really have many stories about him though) Cruxxed Up posted:IT IS ZANDAR WITH A Z. NOT AN X. BECAUSE THE LETTER X IS LAME. Hey everyone. This is how you post your creepy weirdo story. Don't ask us; 'Hey if you want more, I have some more stories!!! How Nutbag Met Nutter I walk in on Nutbags FurFuckFantasia NutBag Goes to Hollywood' Just post them. Please! We wants them
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Jan 25, 2012 16:54
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WebDog posted:..Patrick.. Well, that's a change of sorts. Still, it's frustrating that he isn't fully off the parental teat and moved out into his own greasy cave. That's the mark of a truly successful manchild. Corridor posted:I remember when I was a little girl, I used to daydream about being a fairy princess in a tower, and being greeted by a handsome prince in shining armour on a white horse, who would invite me to dinner at a fast-food weekly dollar special. Does M'lady desireth another refill on her small soda? Yonder merchant careth not.
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Jan 25, 2012 18:13
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Reading the few most recent stories triggered some terrible memories from the year I spent in community college. While what I have to say about some of these people probably doesn't come anywhere close to holding a candle to most of the other stories here, I hope they'll nonetheless be as nauseating to you as they were to me. I tell a tale of a fellow with a unique and unfortunate nickname, but for the sake of hiding identities, we'll just call him "Squidgy." Imagine a moist, squishy, goon-bearded lump of a man. His hair was always messy, and his clothes were always stained. He would hang out in the lounge between classes, nap through class on the lounge's couch, and generally just be as loudmouthed and disgusting as humanly possible. The first and probably most interesting subject to cover would be public nap time for Squidgy. Happy Naps There was a couch in the lounge we called the Squidgy Couch because it was the site of almost daily naps for our greasy friend. One day after I'd been going to the college for a week or two, Squidgy decided to have himself a lie down, and as he settled himself on the Squidgy Couch, one of my new friends leaned over to me and whispered, "Dude. Watch this." Squidgy drifted off to sleep and began to snore. Big deal, taking a nap in public isn't exactly normal, but it's not totally unacceptable, and plenty of people snore - OH MY GOD, HE WAS TOUCHING HIMSELF. But it didn't stop there. After a few seconds, he was full-on JERKING OFF through his pants in his sleep. I was, at that point, a shy and innocent young girl, so I averted my eyes. I don't know if Squidgy finished the job there. What I do know is that he made a prompt trip to the bathroom upon awakening. I found out later that my brother's friends grew up down the street from the guy, and that they had told him a couple of stories about Squidgy. Namely, that Squidgy attended and was expelled from a college for preachers/ministers because he got caught jerking it in class. I have another story or two in me that I'll post at a later date. Frost Alias fucked around with this message at 18:47 on Jan 25, 2012 |
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Jan 25, 2012 18:44
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Corridor posted:I remember when I was a little girl, I used to daydream about being a fairy princess in a tower, and being greeted by a handsome prince in shining armour on a white horse, who would invite me to dinner at a fast-food weekly dollar special.
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Jan 25, 2012 20:37
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So, want to go down to McDonalds with me? They're having a special where cheeseburgers cost the temperature it was the day before, and it's been in the teens around here! I could get like, 5 burgers for a dollar. These stories are great. I almost wish and yet, don't wish I knew someone like that! Sloober fucked around with this message at 21:18 on Jan 25, 2012 |
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Jan 25, 2012 21:14
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Nebelwerfer posted:wait what this has always worked with me. No, there's a difference. What you say to the girl is "Hey, I'm going for cheap tacos, wanna come? My treat," and then the girl goes to have tacos with you. What this guy does is he stands in the center of the girl's only escape route, twisting his hat in his hands and stammering "B-b-but...they're only 99 cents...BUT YOU HAVE TO GO WITH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT'S TUESDAY!" Do you see the difference now? It's not the 99 cent tacos, or even the serious offer to pay for a whopping buck's worth of tacos that's the real issue. It's his approach and attitude. You and I can casually eat tacos with whoever we want to, but to him, going to Del Taco with a girl is a Momentous Event. He would never, ever, ask another guy to go for tacos and offer to pay, because tacos are an important part of a Proper Courtship Ritual. You and I can promiscuously eat tacos as a couple, in a group, or with another member of the same sex if we want to, but that's because we don't understand the importance of proper taco traditions. We cheapen the meaning of tacos for others by not going on Tuesdays and not stealing the sauce packets so we can make our food taste a little like Del Taco until next Tuesday. You probably eat at Taco Bell where the tacos are 99 cents each and the sour cream is that imitation IMO crap. It's you---you are the one who are wrong about tacos. You should be ashamed, I know I am.
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Jan 25, 2012 21:22
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The Saddest Rhino posted:Is this Rottweiler from tvtropes? I see he's been using the years since he finally got banned from the IRC server very, very well.
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Jan 25, 2012 21:48
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DeepFriedKitten posted:The weirdest girl I never met on Gaia deserves mentioning here. She goes by Bilious, and though we initially bonded over a mutual love of Discworld, combing through her deviantart gallery revealed some incredibly disturbing things mixed in with all the harmless stuff. Oh god I remember Bilious. There were entire threads dedicated to hating her off the Gaia website. If you want a lot of fun stupid trainwreck and drama from Gaia, Breedables/Changeables Pets is full of them. Two of the other biggest whores there were Sabin Duvart (or something like that) and her equally fat dyke girlfriend Kamiki. They are both crazy furre whores.
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Jan 25, 2012 21:53
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Antivehicular posted:Holy poo poo, that's him.  And suddenly the thread takes another disturbing turn.
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Jan 25, 2012 21:53
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Antivehicular posted:Holy poo poo, that's him. The man is a social black hole.
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Jan 25, 2012 22:59
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WebDog posted:He redefined pathetic by attempting to commit suicide by leaping off a meter high fence - only to be foiled by being unable to physically get up there. This bit jumped out at me because of a strange story from High School. I majored in art all through middle school and college. After reading this thread, man oh man am I lucky to have had encounters with only the most innocuous of strange people. I don't have any stories that come close to the caliber of this thread. But there was this one girl who had very recently joined our grade and she was... odd. Noticeably odd. I only had to interact with her a few times per day so I could more or less ignore her muttering lines from Shakespeare to herself and picking stucco off the desks and stuff. Well, one day when OddGirl was out sick, a few of us swapped stories about her during lunch (as teenage girls are want to do because teenage girls as a vast sweeping generalization are terrible, terrible people). One of my friends was amazed that I had no recollection of an incident that she swore up and down had happened right behind me during a study break. So I don't know about the veracity of this incident, but the thing about OddGirl is that it doesn't seem at all unlikely either. Apparently, I was too engrossed in -you know- actually studying while OddGirl was at a nearby table. She decided to take that free time during the school day to announce that she was about to start cutting herself. And as the other people at the table sat there too stunned to think of what to do, she reached into her backpack and pulled out her cutting instrument of choice: a Spork. She apparently tried to kind of saw away at her wrist with it without actually harming herself at all. She kept at it until a larger girl gently restrained her and the other people at the table told her to please stop. The situation was just more bizarre and a little sad than truly concerning, and I was somehow completely oblivious.  Antivehicular posted:Yes, Rotty had a boner for cannibalism, particularly the live-cooking and eating of young women. There isn't a  big enough.
Rahonavis fucked around with this message at 03:50 on Feb 10, 2012 |
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Jan 25, 2012 23:04
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Antivehicular posted:Holy poo poo, that's him. He believes anything written after 1950 deserves to be burned because it's all morally repugnant. I'm now thinking his idea of morally sound is Cannibal Holocaust.
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Jan 25, 2012 23:07
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Maybe there's two trench coat wearing sword wielding gingers named Rottweiler on the internet? I mean. It can't be the same guy.
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Jan 25, 2012 23:12
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Rahonavis posted:There isn't a This comes close.  Also, this guy thinks that any sex that dos not result in procreation is moral. Including sex involving infertile people. He thinks the history of gay people should not be taught in schools. He thinks it is unnatural and tragic for a man to not have a housewife ie servant and sex slave.
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Jan 25, 2012 23:13
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:Jesus Christ. The various tvtropes threads have had a field day with the guy already. He's a virulent homophobe who says "any sex not for procreation is evil". He's is an 'ephebophile', misogynist and brony. (I wonder whether he knows that one of the women he was desperately crushing on on our IRC server back in the day was actually a guy? I wish I was in a position to tell him.)
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Jan 25, 2012 23:14
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Antivehicular posted:Man, I'm going to have to catch up. It sounds like he's gone a completely different crazy direction since I knew him, but none of this is surprising -- I'm not surprised at all that he's a brony, honestly. Or a misogynist, or a homophobe... Also, his current girlfriend/sex slave has a youtube channel in which she tells women their proper place. SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 23:24 on Jan 25, 2012 |
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Jan 25, 2012 23:21
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My favorite Rottweiler fact will always be that he considers himself an American Monarchist. I need to know who exactly would be installed as the royal family of the United States.
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Jan 25, 2012 23:32
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Himself, of course.
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Jan 25, 2012 23:37
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General Ironicus posted:My favorite Rottweiler fact will always be that he considers himself an American Monarchist. I need to know who exactly would be installed as the royal family of the United States. The US could probably acquire some European royalty in a trade with the EU. A king would cost you an aircraft carrier and every prince will cost you a movie franchise, a Disney character or something like that. I have never known or encountered any crazy anime-people or manga-fanatics at all, so this thread is both funny and disturbing as hell. Some 6-8 months ago I saw my first furry in public(tail and ears) and it was sad... But I recognize the craziness. Astrally projecting Gackt/Pickolo impregnating you and keeping that ruse going, while drawing terrible manga, seems to be the same level of crazy as the previous "dreamily starring at a Robert Smith poster and cutting your arms". Guesticles posted:"What to expect when you're astrally projecting" fixed
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Jan 26, 2012 01:22
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"" posted:Rotty When I first read the story I was like "Please don't be the Rotty I know please don't be the Rotty I know" and then when Antivehicular confirmed that the TVTropes Rotty and this one are the same my heart sank. It is the one I know. He's in two IRC channels that I'm in and really the only saving grace is that he never says anything unless someone directly speaks to him, which is rare. He still has hosed up misogynist, homophobic views, and there was one argument where he was advocating the death of all Islam people for being tainted. Somehow this tied into how forced and arranged marriages are awesome. Never talked about his sexual fetishes, though. Small favors.
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Jan 26, 2012 01:45
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General Ironicus posted:My favorite Rottweiler fact will always be that he considers himself an American Monarchist. I need to know who exactly would be installed as the royal family of the United States. I once had a (college) student argue forcefully in a completely unrelated essay that the oldest living legitimate male-line descendant of George Washington be crowned king of America with powers equivalent to those enjoyed by King George III in his day. He also specified that, should Washington be found to have followed Thomas Jefferson's example and fathered children with a slave, these descendants should be barred from the throne. It was remarkably well-thought-out for a completely stupid and unrealistic crackpot plan. Perhaps the student was Rottweiler. I have no idea, as I was just the grader for a 200-person freshman-level course so I have no clue what the guy looked like.
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Jan 26, 2012 01:50
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I don't know if I mentioned it in this thread before, but I've got my own creepy guy at work who follows me around like a puppy dog. He's pretty harmless, but talk about a guy who has absolutely no clue how to behave around women. We have had several bars tell us not to have him come and install or fix stuff, because he creeps the female staff out. He'll do things like install a jukebox, and then "test it" by playing an overly sexual song while dancing and making eyes at the ladies. Some female bartenders are nice to him in a standard trying-to-make-tips way, and he thinks they're genuinely into him. I try to be nice to him, because I'm sure he can't help how he acts, and everyone else makes fun of him and treats him like dirt. So whenever he comes in, he'll hang around way too long and just...follow me. Once, while fixing a Dr. Who pinball machine, I said I really liked Dr. Who. So every time he comes in, he plays several games on that machine, and makes sure I notice. Like it will impress me or something. He knows I'm married. And as extra creepy icing on the cake, his last name is "Love". The real question is, how do you tell someone like that they're acting pervy? I don't know how to talk to him about it without devastating his feelings. He doesn't really do one thing in particular that you can call him out on. It's not like he's masturbating openly or anything like that. I'm the only person there who treats him nicely, and I don't think he has many friends outside of work. Only the big boss is technically his supervisor, and he's never around to see the way he acts. Even if I could talk to the big guy about it, I don't want to get the perv fired. He's a nice guy, just...hosed up, you know? What the hell do you do?
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Jan 26, 2012 01:56
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Domus posted:Only the big boss is technically his supervisor, and he's never around to see the way he acts. Even if I could talk to the big guy about it, I don't want to get the perv fired. He's a nice guy, just...hosed up, you know? What the hell do you do? Call them out, it's the only thing I've seriously seen work. When he gets to the pinball machine and tries to get your attention turn to him and say "Do you honestly only play that when I'm around?" It'll force them to either become honest and hopefully grow, or they start being ashamed of being called out and avoid you. If not, definitely tell the boss guy that you're having problems with him. He might be a "nice guy" but when he's behaving in a way where your CLIENTS DO NOT WANT HIM AROUND then it's an issue.
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Jan 26, 2012 02:13
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Antivehicular posted:Rotty: The Internet Dude Your Mom Warned You About As one of the main posters in the TV Tropes thread and someone who hates him so, so much, thank you for this.
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Jan 26, 2012 02:18
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The Triumphant posted:As one of the main posters in the TV Tropes thread and someone who hates him so, so much, thank you for this. God, yes. If nothing else comes from this thread, we have achieved something beautiful today.
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Jan 26, 2012 02:26
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All this thread needs now is for someone to come in with a story about a fat engineering student soul-bonded with a shopping cart and it will achieve full TVTropes synchronization.
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Jan 26, 2012 02:29
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Holy loving poo poo this is the best I guess the Telos of sex is loving Hannibal Lector erotic roleplay
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Jan 26, 2012 02:36
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Fascinator posted:
Did he resemble Rorschach/Walter Kovacs, and was somehow even more unappealing? Was he wearing a cheap trench coat that was two sizes too big for him? A too-large fedora? Dress pants hiked up to his teats? All in a mismatched and ill-conceived combination of colors? Calaveron fucked around with this message at 02:46 on Jan 26, 2012 |
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Jan 26, 2012 02:41
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Fascinator posted:I once had a (college) student argue forcefully in a completely unrelated essay that the oldest living legitimate male-line descendant of George Washington be crowned king of America with powers equivalent to those enjoyed by King George III in his day. He also specified that, should Washington be found to have followed Thomas Jefferson's example and fathered children with a slave, these descendants should be barred from the throne. It was remarkably well-thought-out for a completely stupid and unrealistic crackpot plan. Anyway, I have a small confession -- Rotty being discussed in the SA TVTropes thread did come up earlier on my regular IRC server (where reminiscing about what a dick that dude was happens every few months), and that was part of my inspiration to share my story, so it wasn't really a surprise that it was the same guy. The katana was a total surprise, though, which was most of my "holy poo poo" reaction. He hasn't changed that much (I want to say there was a story about his wearing a suit jacket to play DDR during the meetup), but seriously, dude? A katana? I'm pretty sure I could have taken Rotty in a fight had I been forced to, and I'm 5'3".
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Jan 26, 2012 02:49
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The katana isn't actually for fighting. He wears it, along with the trenchcoat, because he thinks it will make him look cool. Just take a moment to reflect on just how loving bad someone's taste has to be to believe that.
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Jan 26, 2012 02:52
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I posted the question without any expectation that they could be the same person and went to bed. And now I wake up to this. What a world
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Jan 26, 2012 02:58
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MoonwalkInvincible posted:All this thread needs now is for someone to come in with a story about a fat engineering student soul-bonded with a shopping cart and it will achieve full TVTropes synchronization. Very few engineering students that I know are fat, but one of the fat ones I know has piano black dress Crocs. Not as bad as a katana, but it's something.
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Jan 26, 2012 03:01
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Ensign Expendable posted:Very few engineering students that I know are fat, but one of the fat ones I know has piano black dress Crocs. Not as bad as a katana, but it's something. Dress...crocs? Crocs are barely shoes, how can you have dress ones? Are they made of patent leather? MoonwalkInvincible posted:The katana isn't actually for fighting. He wears it, along with the trenchcoat, because he thinks it will make him look cool. To be fair, trenchcoats can be cool---the problem is that you have to put a cool person in the trench to make the trench cool; putting a trench on a lame person just magnifies the lame.
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Jan 26, 2012 03:08
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The Saddest Rhino posted:I posted the question without any expectation that they could be the same person and went to bed. And now I wake up to this. What a world Look at it this way: would you rather there were two people like that?
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Jan 26, 2012 03:22
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