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Lady of the Beech posted:I will never in my life understand people who think like this. And then the next thing you know you're taking anime body pillows to restaurants. Also, the common factors in all these stories weird me out a little more with each new example. I knew DBZ used to be popular, but I had no idea it inspired so much shared craziness in girls. My 90's anime fixation was Slayers, so it's somewhat of a relief it hasn't come up yet... But then I learned from fan sites way back when that Zelgadis, Rezo and Xellos (Xellos especially) are pretty strong crazy magnets. You can't go looking for official art of anything without finding some demented fan girl's shrine. 
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Feb 6, 2012 14:58
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DeepFriedKitten posted:Be glad, because the first step to becoming like them is hearing something like that and saying, "Actually, if you think about it that kinda makes sense..." I'm scared to look at fanart of things I like because surely there'll be some creepy gently caress out there who jerks off to it.
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Feb 6, 2012 15:02
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Lady of the Beech posted:Being fans of things with demented fandoms is rather... uneasy, to say the least. Back when I first played Twilight Princess, I remember thinking, "Okay, an effeminate elf boy who is forced into a wolf form and put in chains, then mocked and ridden by a goblin dominatrix girl thing... this is some furry ultimate fantasy crap right here."
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Feb 6, 2012 15:27
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Lady of the Beech posted:Just thought I'd share this picture from the Awkward & Ugly thread: Well, sure, no human is perfect, and it's good to realise that, so you don't put people you like on a pedestal and creep them out or get disappointed when you find out they're normal. But to conclude "welp I'd rather have a drawing as my perfect wife" from that is creepy as owt. Still, at least he can't reproduce with an anime, so the next generation is safe.
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Feb 6, 2012 16:09
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I saw the YouTube video and he practically just removes his pants and has a nice good jerking off in his small apartment watching the news and variety shows on television, whie his girlfriend sews in the other end of the room or do some cooking. He practices masturbating for an hour every morning. An hour. Every morning. As they interview his girlfriend he does not stop wanking in the background.
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Feb 6, 2012 18:37
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Lady of the Beech posted:Just thought I'd share this picture from the Awkward & Ugly thread: Think of it like this. They are, at some level, aware that through whatever combination of personality, appearance, and lifestyle, pretty much any woman is going to be a fantasy for them. If they choose the literally unobtainable ones, they simply cannot fail. Those grapes are probably sour anyway, right?
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Feb 6, 2012 18:50
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The Saddest Rhino posted:
...chafing...numbness...
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Feb 6, 2012 19:15
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You know when you are about to ask a question that you know you will regret asking, but you just cant stop yourself?Instant Grat posted:Isn't that the guy who won a trophy for being "the best at jerkin' it" or something like that? How? Like was there a panel of judges? What the hell were the criteria for "Best at jerkin' it"? Thats leaving aside the question of "Why the hell would you compete to be officially the worlds greatest wanker?". I just have this horrible image of a russian judge docking him 2 tenths of a point for bad tissue handling or some poo poo...
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Feb 6, 2012 21:03
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Apparently you're the best wanker if you can wank for 10 hours straight.
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Feb 6, 2012 21:14
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Ah yes, Waifus. I never understood the reasoning behind having them. I have a friend who set up a fake facebook account for an anime character so he can be "married" to Charlotte Dunois, his Waifu. He frequently goes on this fake account to send love posts to himself. He also draws himself constantly with her. I asked him about it, and he just said similar things like other people have said. "3D Women can be harsh and want me to change. My waifu loves me for who I am and gives me everything I want." I really shudder when people describe women as 3D for some reason. It makes me feel that they think their 2D women are just as real. Maybe I'm being too harsh.
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Feb 6, 2012 23:17
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Doused posted:Maybe I'm being too harsh. Nope.
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Feb 6, 2012 23:22
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Lady of the Beech posted:Apparently you're the best wanker if you can wank for 10 hours straight. Is it bad that I thought of the Manchild King thread in E/N? He could be serious endurance-wank competition.
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Feb 6, 2012 23:23
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The Saddest Rhino posted:I saw the YouTube video and he practically just removes his pants and has a nice good jerking off in his small apartment watching the news and variety shows on television, whie his girlfriend sews in the other end of the room or do some cooking.
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Feb 6, 2012 23:33
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Lady of the Beech posted:Apparently you're the best wanker if you can wank for 10 hours straight. But surely that would mean that you were really bad at it? You know, I'm starting to question the validity of the whole contest.
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Feb 6, 2012 23:45
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Here's something I posted in the romantic poetry thread in GBS. You'll probably all be ecstatic to know it was inspired by this thread! The Soulbonder's Lament Your eyes met mine, And then I knew; The crystal screen I saw you through, A heartless whore Entrapping you, A world of lies- But you were true. A palace on The astral plane And sweet octuplets With your name Two dogs, recruited From Wolf's Rain My life would never Be the same. Then I saw Heero. It was fate, I thought--alas, I woke too late For half my astral Real-estate And our sweet kids (You took all eight) Oh Cloud, my love, Forgive me, please! I'm on my Flabby unwashed knees. Come back and be My astral squeeze And animate My BJDs.
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Feb 7, 2012 00:01
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Runcible Cat posted:I know the Japanese are traditionally weird about singlewomenohgodthehorror but surely even the most obsessively perfect whatserface nadeshiko would think "gently caress this poo poo, I'm christmas cake and proud if this is the alternative" and walk out? Or does it give her unbeatable high scores in some awful-boyfriend Olympiad? Or maybe its her fetish or just what she's into? Seems likeliest to me.
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Feb 7, 2012 00:21
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Install Gentoo posted:Or maybe its her fetish or just what she's into? Seems likeliest to me.
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Feb 7, 2012 00:28
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Doused posted:I have a friend who set up a fake facebook account for an anime character so he can be "married" to Charlotte Dunois, his Waifu. Why are you friends with him
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Feb 7, 2012 00:41
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Just posting here guys to say that this thread is loving terrifying. 
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Feb 7, 2012 00:55
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Valex posted:Why are you friends with him Friend of a friend really. Added me out of the blue after I met him at anime club. He's not a bad guy, it's just that part. Actually, that seems to be a trend with me. Totally normal people with just one piece of crazy.): Edited for grammar. Doused fucked around with this message at 01:00 on Feb 7, 2012 |
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Feb 7, 2012 00:55
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Considering the comparative levels of crazy we've seen in this thread, "Well, he just has a fake account for his waifu" is pretty tolerable if he's otherwise tolerable.
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Feb 7, 2012 02:47
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P.S. STILL COMPLETELY DEVOID OF MERIT
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Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part but I always thought the whole waifu thing was something of an in joke among anime fans that a select few were completely serious about. I could just be lucky that most of the anime fans I've met have been pretty decent, if a little eccentric. The closest I've ever come to meeting someone like the people described in this thread was a guy who was obsessed with American literature of all things and would write self-insert fanfiction about John Steinbeck novels.
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Feb 7, 2012 03:08
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God. This thread. I know, I know, that's what everyone's said, but seriously, what the hell. What. The. Hell. I don't really have much to give to this thread aside from having one semi-stalker guy who wanted to be Cloud. He "liked" me after seeing me in the Kroger where he worked, and asked my aunt (who also worked there) for my phone number. Auntie asked me if she could give it, telling me that he liked the sort of things I did, anime, video games, etc. Of course, being a nerd in a smallish town where most people couldn't point to Japan on a map, much less know about at-the-time obscure cartoons from there, I didn't have that many cohorts, and was more than happy to make a new friend! That, of course, was mistake one. Mistake two was continuing to be nice to the guy. He would call relentlessly (as in, to the point that I didn't ever want to pick up the phone, because I knew it would be him), wanting to talk all the time, or come over to show me some game he'd gotten a translated version of, or, one memorable time, to watch Final Fantasy: Advent Children. I still don't know what was going on in that movie to this day. He tried to explain it, but it just didn't make any sense to me, and he got really flustered when I pointed out the plot holes. Even my mother, who advised me to tolerate the "friendship" since he wasn't a bad person, ruthlessly made fun of the film. If it were just that, and the little hints he'd drop about wanting me to go out with him on occasion, maybe it would have been fine. I'd dealt with that before, being female in a small, aggressively male-dominated community. But no, then came the gifts. First was him inviting me over to dinner. That's innocent enough, I guess. But what did he have to cook me? The finest cut of steak he could find. Again, that should sound innocent enough, but when you're a teen working minimum wage, that's a big loving deal. "Strife Steak" he called it, and I felt so guilty for eating his steak, not liking him back. After that he would burn me CDs, give me games, buy me cute little things from a little import shop in the big town an hour away. If I was actively dating him, sure, it wouldn't be creepy. But I wasn't. I told him that I wasn't interested in dating until after high school (which was the truth.)But it kept on, the calls, the gifts, all of that. He said he wanted me to be his "Aerith". It all finally culminated when he found out that I liked Gundam and bought me a model from one of the Zeta Gundam movies (I can't remember which one. 0089?). For the non intensely nerdy, those things can get incredibly expensive. They come in different "grades" ranging from Normal Grade, which you can get from 15-25 dollars, to Perfect Grade, which I've seen at a couple hundred dollars. The one he got me was Master Grade, which range from 30-50, depending on what model you want. That was it. I couldn't handle the pressure, the guilt of the unrequited affection. I just felt like such a bitch because I didn't feel the same way. Nowadays, I'm sure I'd have told him off way before this, but after that, I didn't talk to him, never returned calls, never talked online. I told him not to talk to me unless he could just be friends. He tried being my friend sometime later, but he just couldn't get it in his head that I didn't feel the same way he did. Bonus thing: He was jealous that I liked Char from the original Gundam show so much. He was jealous of a drat anime character. I was talking about how cool the character was one day, and the boy just busted out with "What, do you want Char to rape you or something?" Being like 15-16 at the time I just squealed, "Ew, no, what are you talking about?!" rather than realizing how hosed up what he had said was. Bonus bonus: The second time I let the guy in my life, he managed to hit me plumb in the eye when we were playing with some airsoft guns. Not on purpose, of course, he was really upset he had hurt me, and kept apologizing, but a part of me just didn't forgive him at the time. Bonus bonus bonus: The guy is doing much better these days, has a girlfriend, and realizes how creepy he was. I'm pretty sure he said something to the affect of sorry to me through my mom, but I can't remember that well. (oh, and yeah, this is what pretty much grew me out of my anime phase.) DicktheCat fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Feb 7, 2012 |
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Feb 7, 2012 03:14
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SiKboy posted:But surely that would mean that you were really bad at it? You know, I'm starting to question the validity of the whole contest. Lidocaine lube?
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Feb 7, 2012 03:36
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Oh crap, I just remembered a short encounter with what probably was one of these guys. It was over quick and it isn't really that creepy in the least, but it was terribly awkward. I'd just moved to a new city, had no friends nearby, and was feeling adventurous and started talking to one of the apartment neighbors. He seemed a little weird and nerdy, but I was feeling confident and wanted to stretch my comfort zone. I asked if he'd be interested in playing video games, he said that sounded cool, and came into my apartment. And then selected a single player game. And played it for about an hour. Without talking to me once, except for the occasional ambiguous grunt when I'd ask him a question or spark conversation. I thought about asking if he wouldn't rather play a multiplayer game, but I'd long since learned that not-so-subtle hints didn't work right with his type. I ended up just telling him that he had to go, right now, polite but firm and no ambiguity or hints of, "maybe later". Later his much more functional sister made him come over and apologize, so that was kinda nice. I saw him occasionally working at the grocery store, but didn't interact with him beyond that.
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Feb 7, 2012 05:20
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Next is a story about Tim. Or, as he referred to himself: "THE TRUE NOBODY" Hannah is a year younger than me, and for her last year of high school she went to a different one that was closer to where her parents moved to. Sometime during the first month of school, she joined anime club and the leader (Tim) asked her out. If she wasn't new, she might know his record and rejected, but she said yes to him. When she told me about him, it was after they hung out for the first time outside school. They went to the mall, and Hannah said Tim kept trying to make out with her at every red stop light, and outside every store at the mall. He mostly talked about anime, and a fan-fic he's writing that is Yu Gi Oh x Final Fantasy. They also went to a Chinese Buffet, where Tim chowed down 3 full plates; at least it kept his tongue in his own mouth for a while. Then, they went to his house, where things kept going downhill. He kept trying to convince Hannah to have sex with him. At first she was just like "oh, I'm too fat, you don't want to see me naked!" He said it doesn't matter, since he's fat too (I think he told us once that he's over 300lbs, and he's 5'8"), and lifted up his shirt and jiggled his fat to show her. With a sad look on his face, he said "besides, if you lose weight, your tits won't be as big." She still said "no", so then he went to his computer and showed her this really huge girl, saying "I think this is hot!" Then he showed her pictures of the girl's privates at different angles...he said it was his "fiancee"  She went to the bathroom at one point, and when she came back he was watching a porn video of a lady giving a man head in the back of a van. "This is what I want you to do for me, and maybe I can do a little something for you!" Then he put away the porn and turned on the TV to Pokemon. He crept up behind her so close she could feel his erection and asked "how wet are you? I want to see it, cmon, let me see it!" And, "you're probably going to laugh when you see mine, it's only THIS BIG *shows her by grabbing his pointer finger around the middle* because it's surrounded by fat, and the fat makes it look smaller!!" Then, there was the first time I met him. You might think "why? he's a total freak", but Hannah thought it would be funny to go the the mall and leave him there (we didn't, but we messed with him a bit there.) First, Hannah picked up a friend of ours, then Tim, then me at work. I wanted to change clothes, but unfortunately the key decided to break off in the house door lock. My window was unlocked, so Tim lifted me on his shoulders so I could climb in. He pushed my butt to "help" me, and later kept saying "what if I had turned my head around when you were sitting on my shoulders? ehehe" I opened the door to let them in, Tim said he'd wait in the living room and the rest of us went to my room. I was looking for something to wear, when suddenly we all heard a familiar sound coming from the kitchen:  We froze up and started whispering like "is he seriously masturbating out there? Wtf!!" When we went out there, he was sitting on the couch trying to look natural, so we left.Tim and I were in the backseat, and he was talking about how he designed a dress for Kingdom Hearts and how Utada Hikaru was his finacee, and she's trying to get his designs in the next KH game as well. Oh, but he doesn't have any of her CDs. He said she can't send him any because of customs. When I asked what he was talking about, because I get CDs from Japan all the time, the car went silent and he changed the subject. At the mall, we talked about Hannah and a guy at work she likes, to make Tim jealous, and at one point we ditched him to go to a clothing store, and hid behind the racks of clothes when we'd see him walk by. Eventually he found us, and we went to Orange Julius. Well, Tim didn't; he stood by one of the mall exits, arms crossed, hood pulled over his eyes until we left. He later dubbed the night "girls' night out, bring the IDIOT!!" The next day in anime club, he got mad when Hannah wouldn't let him kiss her and asked her why. She said: 1. you're nasty, 2. you jacked off at my friend's house and hit on her the whole time, 3. you have a fiancee. He got madder and said "girls ALWAYS do this to me! We're over!" He slammed his binder down and left, while the other people kept saying "where's leader going? what happened to leader?" In class later, she asked where he went. He said, "soaking my binder...CRYING!" But, we still hung out with Tim. One time Hannah and I went to his house together. He showed us his katana collection and his giant keyblade, doing poses with them. With the keyblade, he said "I hope this is maybe the key to your pants!" He also talked a lot about sex as usual: said he gets a boner every time he sees a girl, thinks older women make better lovers but he prefers younger girls, hasn't had sex in 3 years, said his balls never dropped and again about how small his dick is, wishes he had money for a sex doll. He showed us very  things on his computer, including more fat naked girls, a video mashup of nothing but anime tits, and a manga about a dad raping his young daughter in the bathtub. He also said I should record myself on webcam for him, and if I don't know how to masturbate, he'll show me.Some conversions and quotes:  I'd do it with you no matter what you looked like! Really? What if I had a penis? *pokes my butt* That's what THIS is for! So you'd have buttsex? It could be fun! My boobs are small No they aren't, they're bigger than mine! You aren't supposed to have big ones, you're a guy. Have you ever kissed your own tit? No, wouldn't they have to be saggy anyway? No, you just lift it up and lick it! Do you do that? ....No. I like the bigger girls better. Besides, do you REALLY think a shinny girl would go out with me?-*pulls me up by my pants* Did I give you cameltoe when I did that? -*offers me some soup, which I reject* See, this is what happens when I try to be nice. I get stabbed in the back! -My fiancee and I don't care if we have sex with other people...she's bi! The end came when Hannah and I decided to tell him we're lesbians and in love with each other (which we just made up to see how he'd react). He started throwing Cd cases against the wall and trying to break wire hangers. His dad came upstairs to see what was going on, and he yelled "GET OUT OF MY ROOM DAD!!" He calmed down by a few days later, but only because he wanted to ask if we'd have a threesome with him. He also did this thing where he'd punch (barely) his jaw, then move his lower jaw side to side, saying he was trying to break it. Pulling his hood over his face and crying because we rejected his moves was also common. He also said everyone hates him for no reason, and that's why he's failing all his classes (he's the same age as me, but got held back a grade and proudly calls himself a "Super Senior") I could add a bit more, but I think I've talked enough about this horrible person. If you want a face to attach with the words: http://i.imgur.com/Dptvv.jpg Yes, the kid is his son, who is named after a Final Fantasy character. He said his ex is a bitch who won't let him see his son too much, so hopefully he won't end up being like Tim.
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Feb 7, 2012 05:53
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^^^ Why do you still have any contact with this guy? I don't want to interrupt the thread when its on a roll, but I came across this and instantly thought of this thread. http://www.cracked.com/blog/11-impressive-valentines-people-in-made-up-relationships/
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Feb 7, 2012 06:50
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zombiepanda posted:I was looking for something to wear, when suddenly we all heard a familiar sound coming from the kitchen: Stories like these make me want to hammer the Five Geek Fallacies into the heads of every 12-year-old and up potential nerd until they learn not to hang around with creeps like this. I had to keep referring to your first paragraph - 'last year of high school.' This disgusting creep was 17-18. I can't begin to wrap my head around the concept of someone that malfunctioned who doesn't have a legitimate mental problem. I have to tell myself that because the alternative is too terrible to bear. I want to pretend the last sentence never happened.
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Feb 7, 2012 06:51
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zombiepanda posted:-*pulls me up by my pants* Did I give you cameltoe when I did that? Jesus, I would have literally punched him in the face at this point. Why did it even GET to this point? You both obviously hated him but you kept hanging out with him anyway, and then acted like jerks to him the entire time, even telling him you're lesbians 'to see how he'd react'. 
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Feb 7, 2012 07:59
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Corridor posted:Jesus, I would have literally punched him in the face at this point. High school girls: not exactly paragons of morality.
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Feb 7, 2012 08:22
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^ Mainly because Hanna finds his ways amusing or something. Sometimes when she comes back to town, she still tries to convince me that we should go to his house because "it'll be funny!" She convinced me to go to his house a few years ago, and yes he seemed the same delusional pervert with still no job, and that's the last time I saw/talked to him. And, we did try to give him actual useful advice sometimes, but he'd just make excuses. We tried to encourage him to lose weight; he lasted one day, said it's impossible to lose weight and went back to eating pop tarts and unheated cup ramen. We told him girls might be less grossed out if he'd keep his hands to himself and stop talking about sex, and he said he *can't* keep his hands to himself and all girls think about sex all the time, so they shouldn't mind. We told him he should apply to jobs if he hates having no money, and he said if he goes outside he'll get shot by his neighbors. v  v
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Feb 7, 2012 08:25
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DicktheCat posted:he managed to hit me plumb in the eye when we were playing with some airsoft guns 
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Feb 7, 2012 08:47
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zombiepanda posted:^ Mainly because Hanna finds his ways amusing or something. Sometimes when she comes back to town, she still tries to convince me that we should go to his house because "it'll be funny!" She convinced me to go to his house a few years ago, and yes he seemed the same delusional pervert with still no job, and that's the last time I saw/talked to him. And, we did try to give him actual useful advice sometimes, but he'd just make excuses. Hanna sounds like a terrible person who encourages his toxic creepiness because it makes her feel better.
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Feb 7, 2012 09:12
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zombiepanda posted:he said if he goes outside he'll get shot by his neighbors. I am unsurprised by this. I also agree with other posters in that Hannah actually comes off as a total bitch by actively putting herself (and you) in situations where he would be a creep just for her own entertainment. Lets face it, a lot of what the guy does/did is physical and by his own admission he "can't keep his hands to himself", so it's not exactly a huge step away from doing something truly horrific.
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Feb 7, 2012 11:20
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Seriously. "Hey let's hang out with that horrible creepy guy who totally fancies you and keeps physically molesting you. It'll be funny! Sure you might hate it, but I will find it hilarious!" I thought you guys just did all that rear end in a top hat creeper-baiting stuff when you were in high school because high schoolers are douchebags, and then I read that she is STILL DOING IT. Just because a guy is deeply unpleasant to be with doesn't give you a free pass to deliberately hang with him so you can treat him like poo poo. It will just reinforce his beliefs that woman are all cockteasing bitches. Frankly, this is actually what Hanna seems to be.
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Feb 7, 2012 12:51
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I have a feeling this Hannah person was the type to throw rocks at hornet's nests as a kid. Really, most rational people's reaction would have led to Tim getting listed on the sexual offender registry at some point.
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Feb 7, 2012 13:13
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Hate to say it, zombiepanda, but neither you nor Hanna seem to understand that there's always a chance guys like Tim will snap, especially after years of you two loving with him, and work all that sexual frustration out in the worst way possible. But hey, maybe it'll make for another funny story, so who am I to say you might want to cut it out?
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Feb 7, 2012 14:15
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DeepFriedKitten posted:Hate to say it, zombiepanda, but neither you nor Hanna seem to understand that there's always a chance guys like Tim will snap, especially after years of you two loving with him, and work all that sexual frustration out in the worst way possible. We probably won't get to hear the story if he actually does snap, so lets hope he only does it a little.
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Feb 7, 2012 14:24
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Zombiepanda said she's only seen him once since high school, messing with him is her friend's doing.quote:Sometimes when she comes back to town, she still tries to convince me that we should go to his house because "it'll be funny!" She convinced me to go to his house a few years ago, and yes he seemed the same delusional pervert with still no job, and that's the last time I saw/talked to him.
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Feb 7, 2012 15:17
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Corridor posted:Zombiepanda said she's only seen him once since high school, messing with him is her friend's doing. Ah, my fault for reading anything before coffee. Sorry about that. I'm still interested to see what Hanna's "fun" leads to.
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Feb 7, 2012 15:43
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