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eumenidy posted:Here's something I posted in the romantic poetry thread in GBS. You'll probably all be ecstatic to know it was inspired by this thread! I will draw an avatar of your choice for you because of this poem. (Unfortunately since I am a jobless bum I cannot afford to buy it for you but I can make you one.)
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Feb 7, 2012 15:49
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Yeah...Hannah is still my friend, but she's kinda something else. A few months ago she sent me this message on FB: "you're not going to believe what a pickle i've recently gotten myself into! i'm going out with a man who is 45 years old with two sons! what do i do? he's already talking about marriage and having children with me and we haven't even gone on our first date!"  I tell her if she wants to go to his house, she can go by herself. Because I won't go with her, she hasn't been over there since that time a few years ago either, so at least there's that.
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Feb 7, 2012 16:49
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zombiepanda posted:Yeah...Hannah is still my friend, but she's kinda something else. A few months ago she sent me this message on FB: "you're not going to believe what a pickle i've recently gotten myself into! i'm going out with a man who is 45 years old with two sons! what do i do? he's already talking about marriage and having children with me and we haven't even gone on our first date!" I'll ask the obvious question: How old is she?
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Feb 7, 2012 16:58
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Just letting you guys know I updated the Henriette scribd document ("Ask Me About Studying Law With A Girl Who Thinks She's Married To Sai Baba") with both front and back cover and some general formatting corrections if you want to download for your tablet. No new entries though. http://www.scribd.com/doc/76780402/Something-Awful-Henriette-Saga?secret_password=h3jrq5kg3tx97rrsipe Are there any completed stories that can be compiled? Work is at a slight lull right now so I can do a few more of these.
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Feb 7, 2012 17:26
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The Saddest Rhino posted:Just letting you guys know I updated the Henriette scribd document ("Ask Me About Studying Law With A Girl Who Thinks She's Married To Sai Baba") with both front and back cover and some general formatting corrections if you want to download for your tablet. No new entries though. As a recent Kindle-haver, I absolutely love the idea of compiling these big stories like this. Downloading this now.
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Feb 7, 2012 18:57
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Maybe I'm just too far removed from high school stuff and don't remember what it was like but why the hell would anyone allow some of these people within 50 feet of them? Like that Tim knobhead - I don't care if your buddy thought it was funny, the whole sexual harassment thing is just beyond creepy. Don't high school girls have dads that threaten to knock creepy guys' blocks off? Or is that not a thing anymore? I'm not going to say I'm a perfect angel with this whole thing, I have a lot of boring yet embarrassing stories from the days of AOL roleplaying chat rooms and even before that on dial-up BBS, but when it comes to my physical self that poo poo just does not fly. Is it just the need for friends of any sort that makes people continue to give folks like this attention? I just don't get it even after reading the entire thread.
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Feb 7, 2012 21:55
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Colon V posted:You'd almost think there's a reason you're supposed to wear goggles. I don't remember why I wasn't. We had some of the armor stuff, but not goggles. I think the guy may have forgotten them? It was so long ago, the memory gets hazy around the edges. But you're right, in the end, we shouldn't have been so careless.
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Feb 8, 2012 05:10
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LegionAreI posted:Is it just the need for friends of any sort that makes people continue to give folks like this attention? I just don't get it even after reading the entire thread. Pretty much this. When you're a dorky kid with weird, niche interests you'll overlook a lot just for the sake of having a friend who's into the same stuff. Most people distance themselves from the weird types as they get older and find better friends or interests. But then sometimes you get the kind of jerk who makes you afraid to cut ties, which is usually to blame for these toxic relationships going on too long. It's also tough to get away when you're in a club, or something like a club, and their behavior isn't quite bad enough to justify kicking them out.
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Feb 8, 2012 16:46
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The Bible posted:Think of it like this. They are, at some level, aware that through whatever combination of personality, appearance, and lifestyle, pretty much any woman is going to be a fantasy for them. If they choose the literally unobtainable ones, they simply cannot fail. Guys like that charming Japanese fellow like to sign up for English classes, will only have a female teacher, and sit there giggling hysterically at everything you say. If you get to know them for a while, they never ask you out, but will start talking about how they like such and such girl because "she's so cute." Eventually, you will learn that the girl in question is from an anime. Then, a little later, they will show you their secret folder covered in pictures of this girl. Then they will say, I like her because she looks JUST LIKE MY ENGLISH TEACHER and give you a biiiiiiiiiiiiig smile.  That was a really, really tough few months. Eventually, I managed to convince enough people that I didn't want to teach him anymore, but because he was such a reliable source of money (paying per lesson, at about three or four per week, was roughly $350 at that school) they didn't want to kick him out. Eventually, he ran out of money, but not before pulling this poo poo on every blonde, female teacher in the place. On that note: A middle-aged woman came in for a placement test. She confessed to the staff member who set up the test that she used to go to another school, but got banned because she was stalking her (male) teacher. She did well enough on the quiz, but worked this poor bastard into EVERY answer to EVERY question. The teacher administering the test was forced to look at hundreds of pictures: "Oh, here's Michael-sensei! And here's his house...and a picture of his window...and here's his girlfriend! Isn't she pretty?" I mean, that's obsession, when you're so absorbed with someone that you're also obsessed with the person they're ACTUALLY loving.She was only allowed female teachers, which led to her quitting after she realized that she couldn't trick staff into giving her a boy. Runcible Cat posted:I know the Japanese are traditionally weird about singlewomenohgodthehorror but surely even the most obsessively perfect whatserface nadeshiko would think "gently caress this poo poo, I'm christmas cake and proud if this is the alternative" and walk out? Or does it give her unbeatable high scores in some awful-boyfriend Olympiad? You'd think. But no. Another student once advised me, after being told that I'd broken up with my boyfriend, to tell him I was pregnant so he'd come back, because I was "almost too old to get married." I had turned 24 the week before. Fleta Mcgurn fucked around with this message at 21:07 on Feb 8, 2012 |
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Feb 8, 2012 21:04
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uglynoodles posted:I will draw an avatar of your choice for you because of this poem. Awesome! Thank you!  If you draw something for me, I will totally make it my avatar. Now I just need to think of something appropriate to this thread. Hmm...
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Feb 8, 2012 22:40
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eumenidy posted:Awesome! Thank you! Anime Sai Baba. C'mon.
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Feb 8, 2012 23:28
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bringmyfishback posted:A middle-aged woman came in for a placement test. She confessed to the staff member who set up the test that she used to go to another school, but got banned because she was stalking her (male) teacher. She did well enough on the quiz, but worked this poor bastard into EVERY answer to EVERY question. The teacher administering the test was forced to look at hundreds of pictures: "Oh, here's Michael-sensei! And here's his house...and a picture of his window...and here's his girlfriend! Isn't she pretty?" This seems appropriate here. Read the stories about the Gothic Spinster for some 
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Feb 9, 2012 00:39
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LyonsLions posted:This seems appropriate here. Read the stories about the Gothic Spinster for some Holy poo poo: "Your Korean boss may or may not be on your side. Depends on what kind of person they are really. If their main concern is the bottom line, then they are likely to turn your experience of being sexually harassed into “a cultural misunderstanding’. They are likely to see your stalker as “a good student who just likes you a lot”." Yep, that's pretty much what happened anytime someone complained about a student for similar reasons. "The guy would wait for her after class on many nights and ask her to go drinking with him. The guy wasn’t even enrolled in any of her classes. He was in another teacher’s class. He’d simply seen her in the halls and read her profile online. When she declined, he’d follow her. She didn’t feel comfortable walking back to her apartment directly after work anymore. Her boss also did nothing about the problem. “What happens outside the academy isn’t really my business” was the excuse." Aaaaand this happened to me. Luckily, I was only teaching at that school for two weeks before they moved me across the city. Sigh. I want to feel bad for these people, but they make it really difficult. (New thread title?) In a way, I'm glad I read this because I was afraid it was only Japan where English teachers were treated this way.
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Feb 9, 2012 01:05
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LyonsLions posted:This seems appropriate here. Read the stories about the Gothic Spinster for some Wow, this is absolutely horrifying.
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Feb 9, 2012 06:54
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gently caress me sideways. If someone made a horror film based on that, people would say, "Pfft, too unrealistic, that'd never happen".
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Feb 9, 2012 20:34
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Just mentioned this guy on another thread, and suddenly realized that he was a perfect historical example for this thread: Goodwin Wharton He was a 17th century Member of Parliament who spent his adult life in a relationship - apparently not sexual, but who knows really - with a medium who convinced him that the Queen of the Fairies was in love with him, had Spirit Babies with him and told him where treasure was buried and could be dug up (but was invariably snaffled by Evil Fairies before he got to it).
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Feb 9, 2012 22:49
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LyonsLions posted:This seems appropriate here. Read the stories about the Gothic Spinster for some Reading it straight from the beginning, it all certainly seems awful, yet doesn't really top much that's been posted in the thread already. Then you get the part titled "A History of Violence" and suddenly there isn't a big enough  on this board to fully express how psycho that woman is. Holy poo poo.
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Feb 9, 2012 23:02
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Grape Juice Vampire posted:Anime Sai Baba. C'mon. THIS. Uglynoodles, are you up for that? I so wish I had more stories to add to this thread. Alas, back in those days, I was the weird kid. I had awful social anxiety, so for some weird reason the only thing I would talk about was Star Trek (because it was the only vague pop-culture thing I knew anything about...? I don't know) and this went on for like four years. Didn't help that I had some pretty awful stuff done to me at school in general and my mum wasn't exactly mentally healthy at the time. I read about people like Denise and think, "There but for the grace of a pretty robust hold on reality go I". But it never makes the stories less horrifying or hilarious. There was one girl I remember who told everyone she got pregnant from a boy in our class. When asked for details, she gave us a very detailed, but ultimately anatomically impossible, story involving their innie and outie belly buttons. (We were 13. I'm not sure anyone was convinced.) She actually attempted to carry this charade on for several months despite being as thin as a rake. Later I found out she was developmentally disabled so 
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Feb 9, 2012 23:07
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zombiepanda posted:-*offers me some soup, which I reject* See, this is what happens when I try to be nice. I get stabbed in the back!  Those heartless bitches! Oh Tim, you and I are kindred spirits. I too know what it is like to offer them soup, soup you made specifically because 2.8 months ago she off-handedly mentioned liking this specific brand of soup so you updated your spreadsheet, then went and had imported at great personal expense and when you offer it to her to show that you listen she throws it right back in your face.  This world is just full of horrible girls who say they want someone who pays attention to them and is a good listener but all they want is some loving jock with a forty-seven inch cock and a camaro. gently caress youuuuuuuu!!!!!! projecthalaxy posted:...chafing...numbness...  Stick to the amateur wanking circuit son, you're not cut out for the big leagues.
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Feb 10, 2012 00:39
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^ Yeah, he sure did...said strange things sometimes.Farbauti posted:I'll ask the obvious question: How old is she? In a few days, 23.
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Feb 11, 2012 04:55
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GidgetNomates posted:As a recent Kindle-haver, I absolutely love the idea of compiling these big stories like this. Downloading this now. Same here. I'd love to get the whole Denise/Perrier saga as one of these when the whole thing has been wrapped up. It's so bizarre, I can't stop rereading Noodles's posts.
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Feb 11, 2012 10:02
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Speaking of ages, how old is Denise now?
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Feb 11, 2012 15:19
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DeepFriedKitten posted:Speaking of ages, how old is Denise now? Whatever the number, "way too old for this poo poo" is the first thing that comes to mind.
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Feb 11, 2012 20:42
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CuddleChunks posted:
Don't know what that's from but drat! That gave me a flashback to a guy I used to know. I think he qualifies for this thread. I met Charles when I moved to a new state for middle school. Being kind of nerdy and recently uprooted, I fell in with the first people I found common interests with, those interests being "watching Dragon Ball Z after getting off the bus" and "videogames." With this group came a few friends I still maintain, and also Charles. Charles is the Fight Master This group of friends was the reason I got into AOL instant messenger, which they used to play a DBZ game. Charles designed the game so that we each picked a character and then "fought" by typing out a description of our moves faster than the other guy. By the time I got into this there weren't many characters left. I ended up getting stuck with Frieza ( a boss monster type guy who looked like a sperm ) but that didn't matter because I had a secret weapon. You see, I was the only one who had taken typing classes in elementary school, which made me the fastest, which pretty much broke the game. Charles didn't like that, and the whole thing broke down after an "epic battle" between us. Here is an artists depiction of the event  Charles is still the Fight Master A few people in this little group were into WWF wrestling. I remember Charles organizing an impromptu "tournament" in another kids basement where we were supposed to fight each other "for real!" Charles had some anger issues, so it wasn't really surprising to see him take things too far. He smacked around a kid half his size (Charles was also the one picking the match-ups) and then he decided to make me and my best friend fight. We squared off making what I'm sure we thought were badass poses at each other and said  "HEY! ... wanna go get some more pizza?" Then we went upstairs and played Goldeneye while Charles probably called us fags. On wish-fullfillment Charles organized a D&D campaign invited me in on it for a session. I don't remember much of it, but I know it all took place in the local mall and that he had us kill "preps" and "posers" and oh god why didn't I realize how messed up this was at the time  Charles tells it like it is One summer we were "camping" in my backyard and the subject of girls came up. I'm pretty sure none of us had started dating yet, so we were mostly just joking around. Charles, who had been quiet up to this point (probably uncomfortable with the subject) launches into this tirade about how girls just want "a guy with money and a two foot dick and they don't care about ANYTHING else!" I should note that he was completely serious and really, really angry about this. That pretty much stopped the conversation, I mean, the guy was practically frothing at the mouth. After a moment of silence he apologizes, explains that none of what he said matters because he "already knows the perfect girl for him." That girl was an anime character from a show called Outlaw Star named Melfina. I remember two things from that show: 1) There were spaceships that fought each other with those wimpy arms that real space shuttles have. 2) This loving song! Charles showed it to me to demonstrate how super cool this girl was and to this day it makes me feel intensely awkward. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85JaogJZPag Looking back on it, this guy was a lot weirder than I realized as a kid. A cursory look at facebook implies that he never really grew out of it either. For comparison, Charles has a twin brother who now works at a TV station, while Charles went with his parents when they moved across the country. His latest project seems to be posting newsletters over facebook about anime and videogames and his views of women and society in general, and they haven't changed much since when I knew him 
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Feb 12, 2012 01:11
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homebrand posted:We squared off making what I'm sure we thought were badass poses at each other and said I hope it's okay that I laughed at this -- it's a brilliant middle-school-boy interaction, in addition to a good way to get out of Charles's Basement Fight Club. Charles sounds like a real piece of work, and it's pretty sad that he hasn't grown out of it. I imagine after a certain point it's a vicious cycle -- if a dude goes into every interaction with a woman assuming he needs a 47-inch dick and a Camaro to get anywhere, he's not going to have a lot of success (because he's a creep and/or deeply insecure), and that surely feeds back into his insecurity and convictions. It's just sad. (On a tangent, what was up with those "fight via fast typing" roleplays? I've heard about them before, and I really doubt that it was the same group. How did this moronic idea get started?)
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Feb 12, 2012 02:26
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Antivehicular posted:(On a tangent, what was up with those "fight via fast typing" roleplays? I've heard about them before, and I really doubt that it was the same group. How did this moronic idea get started?) IRC. I remember being in a few DALNet RP channels back in the day, and there was a lot of this, whether for fighting or simple in-character chatting, it often came down to who typed something fastest.
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Feb 12, 2012 04:37
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teh winnar! posted:IRC. I remember being in a few DALNet RP channels back in the day, and there was a lot of this, whether for fighting or simple in-character chatting, it often came down to who typed something fastest. This may be a recent trend/inevitable whine-inspired evolution of that, but when I tried to play in some chat based RPGs years ago, every single one was very strict about posting orders. The order was determined by whoever initially posted first, and after that everyone was locked to that place in line. New people who entered were last. It was incredibly loving boring and took forever, mosly because having no fear of getting lost in the shuffle meant people gleefuly wrote four paragraphs about walking down the street. I gave up after a week of bouncing from game to game, futilely trying to find one that wasn't like that. I'm sure there are still people out there staring at a chat window for four hours, all just to play out what equates to twenty minutes of activity.
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Feb 12, 2012 16:40
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Antivehicular posted:(On a tangent, what was up with those "fight via fast typing" roleplays? I've heard about them before, and I really doubt that it was the same group. How did this moronic idea get started?) I used to do this back in AOL Arts and Entertainment DBZ chatrooms back around '99-'01. Unlike Homebrand's version, however, everyone was an ORIGINAL CHARACTER and we'd all have like MS Paint drawings of them. I don't have any crazy stories about anything weird happening, but looking back on it all now it was all pretty kind of weird in itself. Some of the people involved were well into their twenties and the majority of us were probably no older than 14 or so and some of the things that went on publicly were... questionable.
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Feb 12, 2012 17:27
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Dazh posted:I used to do this back in AOL Arts and Entertainment DBZ chatrooms back around '99-'01. Unlike Homebrand's version, however, everyone was an ORIGINAL CHARACTER and we'd all have like MS Paint drawings of them. Considering that back then there really wasn't anything like the online gaming we have now, it did lead to some age mixings that looking back now is a headshaker that we rolled with it for much as we did. And it wasn't just the chatroom games, the Play By Email stuff was just as bizzaro mixed with ages though it was more late teens/somewhere in the 20s on average with maybe a handful under that range and 1-2 people who'd be in their 30s-40s.
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Feb 12, 2012 21:38
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Well, I brought up the concern about my brother possibly having Asperger's with my mom. She said she agreed that he lacks the social graces that most people have, but didn't say anything other than that. She just clammed up when I tried to broach the subject further. Apparently, she took him to the doctor about a year or so ago to talk about his obsessive hand cleansing (with sanitizer). The doctor portrayed it in a positive light, like "good for you to be able to concentrate so much on one thing at a time" or something.
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Feb 13, 2012 04:33
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Nessa posted:Well, I brought up the concern about my brother possibly having Asperger's with my mom. She said she agreed that he lacks the social graces that most people have, but didn't say anything other than that. She just clammed up when I tried to broach the subject further. Apparently, she took him to the doctor about a year or so ago to talk about his obsessive hand cleansing (with sanitizer). The doctor portrayed it in a positive light, like "good for you to be able to concentrate so much on one thing at a time" or something. My sister has similar problems to your brother and was eventually diagnosed with severe OCD, so that might be something to look out for. We thought it might be Asperger's or something like that for a while because of the social issues, but as she gets older it becomes more apparent that she can socialize and act normal when she wants to; she just doesn't want to most of the time. She was tested for autism-spectrum disorders a few times as a kid, but always came up with nothing of that sort. It's hard because my mom is also OCD and stopped taking medication for it a long time ago and is mostly fine, so she won't put the screws on my sister getting treatment, which leads to a 28-year-old woman-child who won't leave the house except to buy My Little Pony poo poo.
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Feb 13, 2012 05:28
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DeepFriedKitten posted:Hate to say it, zombiepanda, but neither you nor Hanna seem to understand that there's always a chance guys like Tim will snap, especially after years of you two loving with him, and work all that sexual frustration out in the worst way possible. Is the last page advocating seriously what I think it is?
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Feb 13, 2012 05:47
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LyonsLions posted:My sister has similar problems to your brother and was eventually diagnosed with severe OCD, so that might be something to look out for. We thought it might be Asperger's or something like that for a while because of the social issues, but as she gets older it becomes more apparent that she can socialize and act normal when she wants to; she just doesn't want to most of the time. She was tested for autism-spectrum disorders a few times as a kid, but always came up with nothing of that sort. It's hard because my mom is also OCD and stopped taking medication for it a long time ago and is mostly fine, so she won't put the screws on my sister getting treatment, which leads to a 28-year-old woman-child who won't leave the house except to buy My Little Pony poo poo. I'm hoping my brother can get some help in a couple years when he goes to college (via campus therapists). He definitely wants to go into forensics science or something. His science grades are apparently pretty good and he's practically memorized the periodic table after I got him a cool full colour book about the elements a few years ago. Maybe I should talk to him personally about it? I'd send him some links about various disorders, but he has virtually no presence on the internet. No email, no chat client, no Facebook. He just uses the internet to watch anime. I've also brought up the possibility of my mom suffering from OCD, as she struggles with hoarding (as does my dad). She's admitted to being depressed, but never does anything about it. Every time I bring up how damaging hoarding can be, she clams up until I change the subject.:/ I am the only one in my immediate family without some form of mental disorder.
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Feb 13, 2012 06:10
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homebrand posted:Don't know what that's from but drat! That gave me a flashback to a guy I used to know. I think he qualifies for this thread. The audio clip I posted is from a former GBS mod Mayor Wilkins. I don't know if "Ladder Theory" originated on SA or not but he did a good job of reading it and I've kept it around ever since. homebrand posted:2) This loving song! Charles showed it to me to demonstrate how super cool this girl was and to this day it makes me feel intensely awkward. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85JaogJZPag
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Feb 13, 2012 07:10
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Nessa posted:Well, I brought up the concern about my brother possibly having Asperger's with my mom. She said she agreed that he lacks the social graces that most people have, but didn't say anything other than that. She just clammed up when I tried to broach the subject further. Apparently, she took him to the doctor about a year or so ago to talk about his obsessive hand cleansing (with sanitizer). The doctor portrayed it in a positive light, like "good for you to be able to concentrate so much on one thing at a time" or something. I've seen that exact kind of thing before. Doctors do things like that less of out incompetence and more out of trying to defuse shitheel parents like that.
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Feb 13, 2012 10:08
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Sorry to take this all e/n-y, but while we're talking about it: Nessa, while your brother getting therapy in college is a good start, he really needs some help to be ready for college in the first place. Assuming he's planning on living in the dorms and not at home, he's in an unusual and stressful situation from Day 1 -- a new housing environment, new responsibilities and expectations, and probably a roommate who isn't used to his "quirks." He'll be responsible for keeping his room clean, doing laundry, getting to classes on time, doing homework without being prompted, and going to dining halls for meals; even for totally neurotypical people, transitioning from living at home to independent college life can be daunting, and it seems safe to say that your brother isn't totally neurotypical. If your mother isn't willing to spring for full-on therapy, is it possible she'd be willing to find him some "life coaching" or something that might prepare him?
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Feb 13, 2012 10:46
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Antivehicular posted:Sorry to take this all e/n-y, but while we're talking about it: I'd kinda doubt it. But I will look it up and suggest it. There's also no way that he would be living in any dorms. Since my dad isn't likely to sell his house in the next few years, he'll probably live there, like I did and bus to school. He'd be living alone in a house full of junk with janky plumbing. I'm more worried about him trying to survive on cafeteria pizza and getting in trouble for his lack of hygeine, than not doing homework. It's not likely that my dad would live with him and do chores for him. He decided to overtake my living space when I was there and just fill it with more junk and sit at the dining table all night on his laptop. I paid for all my own food and transportation when I was in college because I had money saved up from working. My brother will likely be given a few grand from my family to pay for tuition and living expenses. Sorry for going all E/N.
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Feb 13, 2012 16:43
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Apple Cider posted:
No, it's not.
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Feb 13, 2012 20:35
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homebrand posted:
I watched Outlaw Star and liking Melfina says a lot about Charles and his views on women. 1. She was a robot. The main character found her naked in a suitcase in the first episode. 2. She is completely, and utterly submissive to everyone, especially the main character. Yeaaaah.... 3. I don't actually remember why she was important in the show. She was somehow a key to an ancient ship or planet, but basically it boiled down to the fact her personality, and what she wanted didn't matter at all. The show was kind of like a downgraded Cowboy Bebop, but the spaceships were interesting.
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Feb 15, 2012 05:05
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ZarathustraFollower posted:I watched Outlaw Star and liking Melfina says a lot about Charles and his views on women. She was like the hyperdrive computer or something. Don't forget she had to get butt rear end
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Feb 15, 2012 07:50
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P.S. STILL COMPLETELY DEVOID OF MERIT