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24-7 Urkel Cosplay
Feb 12, 2003

Arglebargle III posted:

This is kind of sad because he's clearly operating from a very warped understanding of the issue. He keeps mentioning "free birth control" when in fact birth control is covered under many prescription drug benefits that employers buy for their employees all the time. The prescription drug insurance is part of her compensation package. It's not free at all, she worked for it. This was entirely uncontroversial until the Catholic Church threw a shitfit about one of the drugs covered under the package they are legally required to buy, and suddenly there was a debate, lines were drawn, and lots of people discovered they hate women and sex after all.

Just tell him your view of the situation clearly without any wishy-washy language, like


I have a hard time condemning the average people who've just been lied to so consistently for so long that they don't even know where the ideas coming out of their mouths originated.

One thing to emphasize the point that it's her compensation is that tons of republicans want to tax health insurance as income. It's your money, use it when you need it.

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RagnarokAngel
Oct 5, 2006

Black Magic Extraordinaire

Quabzor posted:

I don't know if this is the one you were looking for but these may be acceptable, I know the one you're thinking of though and will probably keep looking for a while


or

The latter was the one I wanted thank you. But that first one is great too I'll definitely keep them both on hand.

KillerBean
May 5, 2004

by Y Kant Ozma Post

f#a# posted:

His response:

Linking the evils birth control to the powerful private sector unions that only 6.9 percent of workers belong to... You really do learn something new every day! :allears:

Unions source is BLS - http://www.bls.gov/news.release/union2.nr0.htm - if you want to take on that point but once you start hopping from issue to issue it really becomes a lost cause.

The Rokstar
Aug 19, 2002

by FactsAreUseless

team overhead smash posted:

Oh god, googling for a Snopes link or something similar lead me to one of the worst sites I've ever seen.

http://www.fathersmanifesto.net
http://www.fathersmanifesto.net/pollblacks.htm

I hope this isn't old news because it has a ridiculous number of page views, but it is a whole mess of all different kinds of awful


I like how only the people that disagreed with "race mixing is a sin" left the answer to... whatever the gently caress that question is supposed to mean blank. It's like all of those people got to that question and said "You know what, gently caress this survey, I'm not even going to dignify this thing with answers at this point."

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.
Thanks to this thread I've gotten better at keeping up with political issues and I just finished a Facebook conversation with somebody who was defending Rush Limbaugh for calling Fluke a slut and saying liberal are hypocrites because Bill Maher was mean to Sarah Palin. If it copy and paste it here can I get feedback on how well I did and how correct I was? I have a lot of Republican friends who operate in an echo chamber and I'd love to challenge their beliefs. I assume it's over because he hasn't responded since the last time I shot him down (when he couldn't respond he redirected).

Loving Life Partner
Apr 17, 2003

team overhead smash posted:






:wtc: is this a 5-dimensional graph?

DarkHorse
Dec 13, 2006

Nap Ghost

jojoinnit posted:

Thanks to this thread I've gotten better at keeping up with political issues and I just finished a Facebook conversation with somebody who was defending Rush Limbaugh for calling Fluke a slut and saying liberal are hypocrites because Bill Maher was mean to Sarah Palin. If it copy and paste it here can I get feedback on how well I did and how correct I was? I have a lot of Republican friends who operate in an echo chamber and I'd love to challenge their beliefs. I assume it's over because he hasn't responded since the last time I shot him down (when he couldn't respond he redirected).
People in the thread were gracious enough to do it for me; while I can't speak for everyone, I'm willing to look over others' arguments.

Just got a friend urging people to vote for and defending the gay-bashing, God-gifted rape-baby, and possibly literal 6000 year old earth Santorum. Thankfully a bunch of other people jumped on him, both conservative and liberal, so he ducked out while he writes up a longer response. This should be entertaining :allears:

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

DarkHorse posted:

People in the thread were gracious enough to do it for me; while I can't speak for everyone, I'm willing to look over others' arguments.

Just got a friend urging people to vote for and defending the gay-bashing, God-gifted rape-baby, and possibly literal 6000 year old earth Santorum. Thankfully a bunch of other people jumped on him, both conservative and liberal, so he ducked out while he writes up a longer response. This should be entertaining :allears:

Will do when I get home from work. I thought we were done as he ignored me since my last post an hour ago, but he just came back to say "she didn't pay for it if she paid for a plan that does not offer birth control that's like going into a shop and buying item and demanding two".

Mo_Steel
Mar 7, 2008

Let's Clock Into The Sunset Together

Fun Shoe

Loving Life Partner posted:

:wtc: is this a 5-dimensional graph?

I think it's a comparative mashup of two questions if I'm reading it right. First, move along the X-axis with respect to the statement "Repatriation of Blacks Greatly Reduces Gun Control Laws" (important to note that no indication is available as to what percentages agreed or disagreed with this statement on this graph); then, from there you move up with the question of what percentage answered to "Race Mixing is a sin".

For example, the first bar is interpreted as follows:

Of respondents who Agree that Repatriation of Blacks Greatly Reduces Gun Control Laws, ~20% also Agree that Race Mixing is a sin.

Part of what makes it difficult is the lovely ordering of answers; grouping the strongest options at the top of the bar chart makes no sense. Also that it's a two input bar chart which is unreadable as hell. A much more reasonable thing to do would be to have 7 pie charts instead, as follows:

Chart 1: Overall Respondents Response to the Statement "Repatriation of Blacks Greatly Reduces Gun Control Laws"
Chart 2: Overall Respondents Response to the Statement "Race Mixing is a sin"
Chart 3: Respondents who Strongly Agree that "Repatriation of Blacks Greatly Reduces Gun Control Laws" Responses to the Statement "Race Mixing is a sin"
Chart 4: Respondents who Agree that "Repatriation of Blacks Greatly Reduces Gun Control Laws" Responses to the Statement "Race Mixing is a sin"

And so on.

This would be a far more user friendly set of charts about these lovely questions, albeit still terrible because the reason for choosing one question over another for the X axis isn't clear either. :eng101:

Mo_Steel fucked around with this message at 23:02 on Mar 6, 2012

chesh
Apr 19, 2004

That was terrible.

jojoinnit posted:

Will do when I get home from work. I thought we were done as he ignored me since my last post an hour ago, but he just came back to say "she didn't pay for it if she paid for a plan that does not offer birth control that's like going into a shop and buying item and demanding two".

I'd love to live in a world where I had the choice of health care plans so that I could choose the one that best suited my needs. Unfortunately, I live in America, and my employer makes that decision for me.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.
So this conversation went really long and is actually still going on, but I screencapped and censored the first bit so if any kind goons want to do a lot of reading I'd appreciate knowing if my style is wrong or if my facts are wrong. :)

http://imgur.com/XeLDa

I just linked the image, because it'd be a whole page if I posted it.

Jabor
Jul 16, 2010

#1 Loser at SpaceChem

Loving Life Partner posted:

:wtc: is this a 5-dimensional graph?

The funniest part is that they ordered the groups "Strongly Disagree/Agree", "Don't Know", "Disagree/Agree".

Literally in reverse alphabetical order, instead of anything sensible.

DarkHorse
Dec 13, 2006

Nap Ghost

jojoinnit posted:

So this conversation went really long and is actually still going on, but I screencapped and censored the first bit so if any kind goons want to do a lot of reading I'd appreciate knowing if my style is wrong or if my facts are wrong. :)

http://imgur.com/XeLDa

I just linked the image, because it'd be a whole page if I posted it.
A quick scan shows that you've done a pretty good job, in my opinion. You address his points, redirect the discussion when it starts wandering, are assertive without being combative, and provide sources for many of your points. While there are things that I, personally, would have done differently, you know the people involved better and probably targeted things properly.

It may be a good time for a summary of arguments thus far and a repetition of the salient facts.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

DarkHorse posted:

A quick scan shows that you've done a pretty good job, in my opinion. You address his points, redirect the discussion when it starts wandering, are assertive without being combative, and provide sources for many of your points. While there are things that I, personally, would have done differently, you know the people involved better and probably targeted things properly.

It may be a good time for a summary of arguments thus far and a repetition of the salient facts.
Thanks! I don't actually know the guy at all, he's a friend of a friend and unfortunately when I refused to accept blogs as a source for birth control costing $9 a month things broke down and he started to rant about the biased liberal media. :sigh:

Oh funny thing that I realised halfway through. I'm a Brit living in America. He's an American living where I grew up in England.

Basically we ended up here:



For anyone who didn't read the earlier bit. He started off with good spelling and grammar and he ended up like this. Hence my "broken" comment.

jojoinnit fucked around with this message at 04:47 on Mar 7, 2012

Skrill.exe
Oct 3, 2007

"Bitcoin is a new financial concept entirely without precedent."
5 periods and 2 commas in that entire spiel. It's written stream of consciousness faster than he's thinking it.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.
By the way I never once mentioned Chris Matthews or Keith Olbermann. I don't know where that came from. In my followup I tried to point out they have opinion shows, not news broadcasts and they're news in exactly the same way Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck are.

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges



jojoinnit posted:

Thanks! I don't actually know the guy at all, he's a friend of a friend and unfortunately when I refused to accept blogs as a source for birth control costing $9 a month things broke down and he started to rant about the biased liberal media. :sigh:

Oh funny thing that I realised halfway through. I'm a Brit living in America. He's an American living where I grew up in England.

Basically we ended up here:



For anyone who didn't read the earlier bit. He started off with good spelling and grammar and he ended up like this. Hence my "broken" comment.

Before I stopped arguing politics via Facebook, this is typically how each debate ended for me. I'd post something from Al-Jazeera or BBC, someone would call it "liberal bias". They'd post blogs, and then it would spiral downward into a debate over THE MEDIA and the entire point of the argument would be lost.

However, you should have backed up your final point about the cost Fluke spoke of. At the very least, you could argue that there are too many sources stating opposite points of view, and that since they're both biased the argument is moot. Because, really, the argument is moot. The price she stated, whether it's accurate or not, is completely irrelevant in regards to the rest of the issue. It doesn't matter if it's $3000 or $300, the fact is a religious institution is denying access to an otherwise legally-attained and paid for medication. Her being disingenuous is ignoring the meat and potatoes of her argument.

Or, you could just not argue with strangers over FB. All civil discourse is immediately put on hold whenever someone links a biased blog, left or right wing.

Verisimilidude fucked around with this message at 05:12 on Mar 7, 2012

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

Dirty Job posted:


However, you should have backed up your final point about the cost Fluke spoke of. At the very least, you could argue that there are too many sources stating opposite points of view, and that since they're both biased the argument is moot. Because, really, the argument is moot. The price she stated, whether it's accurate or not, is completely irrelevant in regards to the rest of the issue. It doesn't matter if it's $3000 or $300, the fact is a religious institution is denying access to an otherwise legally-attained and paid for medication.
I did this, from the beginning and every time he brought it up. I was patient and polite. I learned people already know what they want to think and apparently work backwards from there. :sigh:

Which makes me wonder if I'm broken that I don't seem to work like that.

Also, since when was the BBC considered "the liberal media"? I thought pretty much everyone respected the BBC.

DarkHorse
Dec 13, 2006

Nap Ghost
Yeah, it's almost like it's a drug-fueled rant, a mania-induced episode, or he is typing so furiously he's wearing his fingers to nubs. I've dealt with the persecution complex by coming down just as hard on Olbermann Matthews et al for their opinion pieces, though it's been only occasionally effective. When you're so dead set on being persecuted it's almost impossible to be convinced otherwise; by that point you'll fabricate evidence rather than face facts.

I don't know that there's any way to get through this sort of obstinate ignorance, but if you want to continue the argument:

A woman has a personal insurance policy that she pays for, out of her salary/tuition. That policy covers, among other things, contraceptives prescribed by a doctor. The institution objects on moral grounds and blocks her prescription and the medicine that she has paid for as part of that insurance. That is not religious freedom, that is interference. The fact that government is stepping in is not a Freedom of Religion issue, because freedom of religion doesn't permit you to harm others.

If we followed the logic that what they did was permissible, places run by Jehovah's Witnesses would be permitted to deny blood transfusions even if such procedures were covered by the private insurance that she'd purchased.

You may say that she has the option to purchase other insurance, but that option is prohibitively expensive for poorer coverage, and employees rarely have much choice in company-provided plans. It's a red herring besides, because the policy already covered it anyway.

EDIT: Missed that more discussion came up while I was typing.

jojoinnit posted:

I did this, from the beginning and every time he brought it up. I was patient and polite. I learned people already know what they want to think and apparently work backwards from there. :sigh:

Which makes me wonder if I'm broken that I don't seem to work like that.

Also, since when was the BBC considered "the liberal media"? I thought pretty much everyone respected the BBC.

I blame it on the trend of anti-intellectualism and that argumentation and debate aren't part of learning. Students are usually taught a "correct" answer without the reasoning and testing that went to find that answer, which leaves them unprepared to deal with contentious or ambiguous problems. They are taught the correct answer by their authorities, and anything that contradicts that was manufactured as an attack (instead of simply being evidence that disagrees).

DarkHorse fucked around with this message at 05:19 on Mar 7, 2012

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.
I did all that. Every single point. We're up to 138 comments between us now. I even tried to use his own sources to illustrate where he's reading into it wrong:



I'm losing faith in humanity when people are trained that the second anything that they disagree with is shown to them they call it liberal bias instead of considering the points.

I also tried to point out there is no "left wing" news as such because CNN, NBC, et-al aren't all owned by the same company pushing the same viewpoint. I asked him for proof that there's a left wing biased media. He responded that the head of NBC Jefferey Immelt works for Obama. I pointed out he doesn't "work for Obama", he sits on the council of economic recovery, and as a captain of industry thats exactly what he should be doing. I also pointed out he heads GE, not NBC (although they are sister companies) and as a punchline, I discovered Mr Immelt is a registered Republican.

jojoinnit fucked around with this message at 05:28 on Mar 7, 2012

goku chewbacca
Dec 14, 2002
What's an American conservative so far down the rabbit hole he thinks the AP and the BBC are leftist media, doing in the UK? Researching the class system and Victorian deference, hoping to resurrect it here? Cheerio, guv'nah.

jojoinnit posted:

NBC, et al., liberal media. Jeffery Immelt on Obama's Council for Economic Recovery. I discovered Mr Immelt is a registered Republican.
You ever watch 30 Rock? Alec Baldwin's character is fantastic satire.

goku chewbacca fucked around with this message at 05:37 on Mar 7, 2012

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

goku chewbacca posted:

What's an American conservative so far down the rabbit hole he thinks the AP and the BBC are leftist media, doing in the UK? Researching the class system and Victorian deference, hoping to resurrect it here? Cheerio, guv'nah.

You ever watch 30 Rock? Alec Baldwin's character is fantastic satire.

:aaa: I had no idea he was based off anyone.

As to the guy, he married a girl from my town and according to his profile studies at our uni. He's not a total stranger, I think we've run into each other a few times, but I don't know him very well.

DarkHorse
Dec 13, 2006

Nap Ghost

jojoinnit posted:

I did all that. Every single point. We're up to 138 comments between us now. I even tried to use his own sources to illustrate where he's reading into it wrong:
Oh yes, I knew that, but it mostly comes down to how hard and how often you want to keep banging your head against that wall. While repeating arguments over and over isn't a good argumentative strategy, you can try one last summary before giving him up as a lost cause. I think the old chestnut, "Don't argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience" is apropos.

Trivia
Feb 8, 2006

I'm an obtuse man,
so I'll try to be oblique.
Just keep remembering that it's extremely difficult to reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into. This is applicable for many, maaaannnyyy things in life.

To make you feel better though, I want to remind you that your conversation is less about debating with the person in front of you, and more about offering an argument for the audience to listen to and consider. You probably won't convince him, but you might convince the silent others.

Coincidentally, this is the reason why so many people loved LF (myself included).

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.
Yeah, I guess at the very least I'm examining what I believe and learning the salient points of my own position. I doubt I'll convince him at this point but who knows who else is reading?

Although I still don't understand how people can hold positions that they didn't reason themselves into? I should have known what I was getting into though, seeing as the whole discussion started by blaming liberals for getting mad at Limbaugh when Bill Maher (who is apparently a liberal deity?) said some mean things about Republican women. All I wanted to do initially was point out that Limbaugh was making stuff up about a private citizen while Maher said lovely things as part of a stand up comedy routine.



One thing I've noticed is that liberals don't feel the need to defend other liberals when they're being assholes, but conservatives with rally around each other no matter how despicable they're being. It's some sort of weird pack mentality. If we were like that even a little, we'd still have Anthony Weiner in congress.

jojoinnit fucked around with this message at 06:06 on Mar 7, 2012

Trivia
Feb 8, 2006

I'm an obtuse man,
so I'll try to be oblique.
Also, I find that arguments work much better if you're willing to concede small or inconsequential points, even if they seem dis-genuine. For instance, to quell the mounting tension over the price of birth control, you could very well acknowledge the conflicting reports of price, say that Fluke's testimony may even have been hyperbole, but despite that it doesn't really matter because that's not the crux of the argument.

goku chewbacca
Dec 14, 2002
Real Time with Bill Maher is on a premium cable channel once per week at 10 or 11pm. Google "tv viewership" number show me it get a million viewers, or less than a Seinfeld rerun on a basic cable channel that same night.

Rush's influence speaks for itself. He's as vulgar as Howard Stern, except people openly admit to listening to Limbaugh. 15-20 million listeners EVERY GODDAMN MORNING.

Shasta Orange Soda
Apr 25, 2007

jojoinnit posted:


It can be both things, you know. Maher and Rush can both be sexist assholes. There's some distinction between one picking on a public figure and the other picking on a private figure who made a very public appearance, but not nearly so much as to make the comparison invalid.

quote:

One thing I've noticed is that liberals don't feel the need to defend other liberals when they're being assholes,

But that's exactly what you just did. :psyduck:

goku chewbacca posted:

Real Time with Bill Maher is on a premium cable channel once per week at 10 or 11pm. Google "tv viewership" number show me it get a million viewers, or less than a Seinfeld rerun on a basic cable channel that same night.

And look, so did you!

I don't think "Maher was only sexist in front of a million people" is a very compelling argument, either.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

Shasta Orange Soda posted:

It can be both things, you know. Maher and Rush can both be sexist assholes. There's some distinction between one picking on a public figure and the other picking on a private figure who made a very public appearance, but not nearly so much as to make the comparison invalid.


But that's exactly what you just did. :psyduck:


And look, so did you!

I don't think "Maher was only sexist in front of a million people" is a very compelling argument, either.
I didn't defend Maher, I said it was a terrible thing. At most I tried to point out that the situations aren't that equivalent in terms of context, target or reach.

Shasta Orange Soda
Apr 25, 2007
Maybe, but the differences are unimportant enough that you pointing them out comes off as an attempt to mimimize the problem and deflect criticism from Maher - i.e. defend him.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

Shasta Orange Soda posted:

Maybe, but the differences are unimportant enough that you pointing them out comes off as an attempt to mimimize the problem and deflect criticism from Maher - i.e. defend him.
Are you really this bad at reading comprehension? I said what they said was terrible, both of them. I used the word terrible. Even the people I was talking didn't take it as me defending Maher, and if they could have read that into it they certainly would have called me out on it.

As an aside, what happened to your old avatar? I really liked it.

Shasta Orange Soda
Apr 25, 2007

jojoinnit posted:

Are you really this bad at reading comprehension? I said what they said was terrible, both of them. I used the word terrible. Even the people I was talking didn't take it as me defending Maher, and if they could have read that into it they certainly would have called me out on it.

I'm just saying there's a difference between "it's terrible" and "it's terrible, but...", because unless you have something really compelling that comes after the "but", it comes off as an attempt at damage control. I'm not saying you're sexist or anything like that, just that showing obvious bias is the quickest way to get someone to ignore your argument. Maybe this guy was just too dim to see that, but it popped out to me. Then again, maybe I'm just oversensitive because so many people actually did defend Maher back when that was in the news.

quote:

As an aside, what happened to your old avatar? I really liked it.

Casualty of displaying morality in a GBS thread, I don't even remember which one. I never got around to changing it back.

Z-Magic
Feb 19, 2011

They talk about the people and the proletariat, I talk about the suckers and the mugs - it's the same thing. They have their five-year plans, so have I.

jojoinnit posted:

Also, since when was the BBC considered "the liberal media"? I thought pretty much everyone respected the BBC.

Since the coalition came to power BBC News has taken a strong turn to the right (possibly because the coalition will cut it's funding if it so much as looks at them funny).

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin

jojoinnit posted:

Although I still don't understand how people can hold positions that they didn't reason themselves into?

Because people aren't computers and our thoughts aren't math problems. There's a deep assumption that reason is a default mode of thought and this is completely untrue, the whole point of scientific method is to help deal with how irrational we can really be.

I'm not an expert on neuroscience or cognitive science so I'll try not to go too far into detail for fear of misrepresenting the facts.

It might be a good analogy to imagine a person's mind as being like a personal wiki. Each neuron is like an individual article and contains links to other articles. Maybe your page for "Welfare Recipient" has examples that include family members or friends. When you hear about "Welfare" you activate all the links on that page and probably start thinking about people who are in a real tough spot in their lives.

Another person's article might start out with this "She has eighty names, thirty addresses, twelve Social Security cards and is collecting veteran's benefits on four non-existing deceased husbands. And she is collecting Social Security on her cards. She's got Medicaid, getting food stamps, and she is collecting welfare under each of her names. Her tax-free cash income is over $150,000." It links to Black, Crime, Fraud, Pimp, etc.

Facts don't really matter much in all this. The key is to strengthen the links that actually correspond to reality and to avoid mentioning any links that don't. Neural structures work like muscles so the more often a link is used, the stronger the link becomes.

This is why framing is so important. You can't win when you talk about "Illegal Immigrants" because the term itself links immigration with crime. "Undocumented Worker" activates connections to bureaucracy and people getting screwed over because of paperwork issues.

Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003
Maher did have his show pulled on ABC because people didn't like his comments about 9/11. So it's a completely false statement.

Shasta Orange Soda
Apr 25, 2007

Mooseontheloose posted:

Maher did have his show pulled on ABC because people didn't like his comments about 9/11. So it's a completely false statement.

It was in reference to comments made a year ago, not a decade ago. Entirely different situation.

And Maher not only didn't apologize, he recently doubled down on those old comments:
http://patdollard.com/2012/03/maher-to-limbaugh-i-can-call-palin-oval office-i-dont-have-sponsors-im-on-hbo/

Just search the web for the incident and you'll find liberals all over the place grasping at straws to defend him instead of just calling him the rear end in a top hat he is. Partisan politics aren't a substitute for knowing the difference between right and wrong, and it's important to call out sexist assholes no matter what their political persuasion. Hurling all your invective at one side while making excuse after excuse for the other side makes you look like a giant hypocrite.

e: oh, but gently caress Pat Dollard. That just happened to be the easiest link to the Maher video I could find

Shasta Orange Soda fucked around with this message at 14:17 on Mar 7, 2012

Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003
More my point is that both liberal (if Maher is really a "liberal" is another question) and conservative hosts have lost advertiser in the past because of statements.

GraveyTrain
Aug 30, 2008
This thread has gotten so long, I can't keep track. I think I *might* have seen this one in here or something similar, but because it was so obnoxious I had to bring it here. I wish you could see all the .gifs that were in the original -- it just adds to the smug. I can just imagine how clever conservatives feel when reading this.

This was from my brother who keeps sending me this junk even though I've asked him not to and who I always respond explaining how his forward is usually wrong, misleading, or both. So, I'm sure the last bit just makes his dumb grin get even wider.

quote:

For those that don't know about

history... Here is a condensed version:


Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountainsduringthe summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1 . Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.

Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sittingaround waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.

That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer.

This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement...

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing.

This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men. Some note worthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi,
tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamersin Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.

Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Liberals also make ice cream

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys,lumberjacks,construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes,members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America .. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.

And there you have it. Let your

next action reveal your true self....

I'm going to have some red meat.

Waffles Inc.
Jan 20, 2005

GraveyTrain posted:

This thread has gotten so long, I can't keep track. I think I *might* have seen this one in here or something similar, but because it was so obnoxious I had to bring it here. I wish you could see all the .gifs that were in the original -- it just adds to the smug. I can just imagine how clever conservatives feel when reading this.

This was from my brother who keeps sending me this junk even though I've asked him not to and who I always respond explaining how his forward is usually wrong, misleading, or both. So, I'm sure the last bit just makes his dumb grin get even wider.

Hahaha that one is almost literally just a long-form "u mad bro"

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Amused to Death
Aug 10, 2009

google "The Night Witches", and prepare for :stare:
So what I'm reading from that is conservatives are actually less evolved creatures unlike the whimpy liberals who created western civilization. Also, they drink bad beer and eat bad food. I agree.

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