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I'm finally in the club officially! How he did it: We spend every Friday and Saturday night at a potato warehouse where one of our friends works, and about 10-15 of us play a few drinking games, pong, xbox, and occasionally bonfires. On Saturday night, I stroll in with Dave, unaware that tonight would be the night he was proposing (we were already planning our wedding, but the ring was custom-made and was going to take a while to get done). So I started getting a sudden migraine an hour later and wanted to go home. Dave said, one more game, and set up 3 cups on each end of a beer pong table. We don't play with beer anymore, we all just drink leisurely and use water in the cups. So anyways, he says, "What do you give me if I win?" I said something I won't say here. He then tossed an open blue box on the center of the table. There was a RING. I couldn't be anything but impressed with the level of creativity here. Even though it was over a game of pong, it was so sweet, so original, so us, and everyone we loved was there to watch it. He let me win, but I made a trick shot and got two cups on my first try, and eventually I got the last cup. He didn't get down on one knee, but knowing him, I wasn't expecting it. But everyone took tons of pictures, I ended up staying until 2 in the morning, and a few videos were taken. It turns out that Dave and one of the guys called everyone to get out there that night JUST to watch us get engaged. It was an expected surprise, but a surprise nonetheless, and I wouldn't have it any other way. 
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Mar 5, 2012 04:08
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I was able to sell her on pushing it down to her calf really low so I will not have to reach to far up to get it. Thanks guys for the help, I guess if that is the worst difficulty agreeing on something for the wedding we aren't doing to bad. Also I don't know about the regional thing, all the weddings I've been to have been in the North East, I've also seen it as common.
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Mar 5, 2012 05:12
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Dbhjed posted:I was able to sell her on pushing it down to her calf really low so I will not have to reach to far up to get it. That's cool that you got a compromise. I don't know about regional either, I'm in Australia and it's just kind of passe, I guess. I remember it from family members weddings way back in the day, but haven't seen it for years. If you ask a bride if they're going to do it, they screw their face up like you suggested taking a dump on the wedding cake.
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Mar 5, 2012 08:57
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How do you guys feel about parents helping to pay for the wedding? I'm all down for splitting the costs of things between me, my guy, my parents and his , and I know traditionally father of the bride pays for everything, but I don't really think that's fair to my parents. I feel like either both sets of parents should be helping out or neither, what do you folks think?? Also, yesterday at the wedding show I won a sweet package worth more than 1000 dollars!!! 150 dollar photography certificate, a sweet picnic-in-a-bag, comes with plates, silverware, wine glasses and all sorts of stuff to take, a bottle of wine and two wine glasses and a certificate worth 800 dollars to a wedding planner for wedding day co-ordination--so essentially a personal assistant on the big day to make sure everything goes smoothly! Unfortunately, the realization on how not very cheap a wedding is is starting to dawn on Mr.Toriori. 54 40 or fuck fucked around with this message at 16:18 on Mar 5, 2012 |
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Mar 5, 2012 16:16
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Toriori posted:How do you guys feel about parents helping to pay for the wedding? No one can give you a "right" answer because it depends on your family dynamics, what your budget is, how financially independent you and your fiance are, etc. When we were planning, we wanted to pay for it ourselves for two reasons: 1. We both had not lived at home for years, and 2. My parents make significantly less money than his parents and I didn't want things to get awkward. His parents brought up the money thing first, and we told them "Feel free to write us a check if you want, but we reserve the right to spend it any way we want, including putting it in savings and sitting on it for a rainy day." We did refuse to take money from my parents because I know my dad's pay rate and there was no way I was going to take money from him. (We compromised by saying that my parents would buy us a crib when we started a family.)
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Mar 5, 2012 17:37
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Couple questions for JohnnyRnR or anyone else that may be able to advise. I am currently looking at engagement rings and diamonds. I've basically got the setting picked out (Tension setting with princess cut pave diamonds). A couple of questions: 1. Do many local jewelers do tension settings or do all mainly buy them from makers like Gelin Abaci? While I've found one that Gelin Abaci makes that I like, there are a couple changes that I would prefer. 2. As it pertains to the center stone. I want a round cut diamond. I'm wondering if there is something specific to look for in the diamond for use in the tension setting. Is there a particular attribute that makes it work better or worse in this type of setting or should I just go for the best diamond I can find for the money on pricescope? 3. I have read several places that with diamonds, non-"magic" sizes tend to be cheaper. Say a .88 rather than a 1 carat but I haven't found that to be the case. Is this a fallacy or is there a "best bang for your buck size" I would prefer a more sparkly colorless .88 carat diamond over a 1 carat.
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Mar 5, 2012 17:40
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vanessa posted:No one can give you a "right" answer because it depends on your family dynamics, what your budget is, how financially independent you and your fiance are, etc. Luckily both of our parents comfortable, not exceedingly wealthy but they're definitely getting by. His mom has said she wants to pay for the photographer, my mom has offered a few things as well. Last night when we were discussing food he said "welp, there goes a months pay!" I said both of our parents had been offering to help and there wouldn't be any shame in taking it up but he feel since he's lived at home he doesn't want them to. I see where he's coming from but I don't want to foot the bill to my folks either if that's the case.
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Mar 5, 2012 19:11
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Hello all! It's about that time for me to start planning out a wedding for me and the fiance. Since I have the week off she has given me the task to start making some type of decision on where to get married. I'll admit in saying that I'm a bit of a buffoon when it comes to something like this and need some help or some direction into what I can look up for some plans. Basically we've decided that we want to get married privately with just me and her. But I really need some help in deciding on something really romantic. Does anyone have any suggestions or maybe some sites that can help me make a decision? I'm located in Virginia if it matters.
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Mar 6, 2012 16:43
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I know this isn't exactly the thread for this, but I don't know which thread would be! Want to get one of my wedding photos printed on those big, nice canvas wall things. I know about Snapfish, but was wondering if there's an alternative someone can recommend. Thanks! Etrips posted:Basically we've decided that we want to get married privately with just me and her. Keep in mind you do need one witness present (and the person telling you what to say does not count) so you may want to think of a friend or relative you'd like to have along.
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Mar 6, 2012 17:07
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Hamburglar posted:Want to get one of my wedding photos printed on those big, nice canvas wall things. I know about Snapfish, but was wondering if there's an alternative someone can recommend. Thanks! I'd ask this in the small questions thread at the top of A/T.
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Mar 6, 2012 19:44
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Hamburglar posted:I know this isn't exactly the thread for this, but I don't know which thread would be! I saw Costco had a really good price on those a few days ago.
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Mar 6, 2012 20:35
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Hamburglar posted:I know this isn't exactly the thread for this, but I don't know which thread would be! Get on Living Social or Groupon & wait for about a week until a canvas deal pops up. There's one on there almost every week. I've never had a bad experience with one of their canvas deals. You do not want to pay full price for a canvas.
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Mar 7, 2012 00:42
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Thanks for the suggestions, and sorry Butt Wizard for posting in the wrong thread. As a side note... holy crap, it's literally half the price at Costco as it is at every other website I checked, even those with GroupOn/LS discounts  The year membership paid for itself in one purchase. 
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Mar 7, 2012 12:46
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I didn't mean it was the wrong thread, only that you might get more suggestions in the other one. I was wrong though!
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Mar 7, 2012 14:12
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A little note for anyone who has a custom domain name, make sure that if you use a sub-domain you also set up the www version of it. I had some guests typing in "wedding.familynamehere.com" and their old rear end copy of IE sent them to "www.wedding.familynamehere.com". It worked fine when I had them put in the http prefix and I hadn't seen that error in years. I then set up "www.wedding" as a sub-domain, since it's apparently my responsibility to do tech support for our guests now.
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Mar 7, 2012 14:25
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^^^ooo, what are those sites for? Just like general "here's what going on with our wedding so far" updates? I'm curious now. Also, I talked with my guy about the having parents paying. While we both know we'd never get away with them not helping (his mom insists on paying for the photographer, mine wants to pay for my dress), we really don't want to burden them so we're going to split the cost. He's trying now to get away with paying for the whole thing himself! Nice try, Mr.Toriori. Are cash bars a no-no? I'm really apprehensive about an open bar, I have no idea how to go about this aspect of the wedding. SO doesn't want any booze but I don't think that's fair to our guests. The wedding is our day, that's for sure, but that doesn't mean we have to take drinking out of it entirely.
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Mar 7, 2012 21:40
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Okay, so I am pretty irritated right now. I recently got engaged as of less then a month ago. My brother on the other hand has been talking about leaving his girlfriend for about a year, and my entire family supports that because we don't like her, and she isn't good for him. I have voiced my concerns to him about her. Today I get a call, he too is now recently engaged. And I am pretty sure that she is going to try to get married before the date that my fiancee and I picked for our wedding. I just find his timing on this really lovely, especially since 3 weeks ago me and him were having beer for lunch as he bitched about how she was wanting to hand in her two weeks notice because she didnt like her job (He's unemployed), and that if she handed in her two weeks notice, he was going to leave her as she obviously isn't holding the financial welfare of them and their 6 year old child in very high regards. Well, she didn't hand in her two weeks notice, she gave her job less then 24 hours notice. And instead of leaving her, like he was 100% sure he was going to do, he spends the rest of what money they had left on an engagement ring. Do I have the right to be incredibly pissed at him for this, or am I just being a douchenozzle? Not quite sure where to ask, but I figured you guys would have some input as to how to handle this situation?
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Mar 8, 2012 01:04
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He's making stupid decisions. I don't think you're being a douche at all for being irritated. By the way, is your brother actually my sister? I love her obviously but drat if she doesn't make the dumbest decisions.
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Mar 8, 2012 01:11
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JackRabbitStorm posted:Okay, so I am pretty irritated right now. I recently got engaged as of less then a month ago. You're not being a douche at all.
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Mar 8, 2012 04:36
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Toriori posted:Are cash bars a no-no? I'm really apprehensive about an open bar, I have no idea how to go about this aspect of the wedding. SO doesn't want any booze but I don't think that's fair to our guests. The wedding is our day, that's for sure, but that doesn't mean we have to take drinking out of it entirely. For what it's worth, I remember one wedding etiquette source stating that having a cash bar from start to finish is a no-no (akin to inviting guests to your home and charging them for beverages.) Meh. If you're inclined to agree, there are other ways to save on the booze bill, including 1.) buying your own in bulk and hiring a bartender, 2.) offering beer and wine only, 3.) offering beer, wine, and just a few middle-shelf "staple" liquors, or 4.) beer, wine, and a signature cocktail that's 80% juice. Lastly, you could dispense with the champagne toast and just have people raise their glasses of whatever.
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Mar 8, 2012 05:32
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Toriori posted:Are cash bars a no-no? I'm really apprehensive about an open bar, I have no idea how to go about this aspect of the wedding. SO doesn't want any booze but I don't think that's fair to our guests. The wedding is our day, that's for sure, but that doesn't mean we have to take drinking out of it entirely. A friend did a wedding where they provided some cheap beer/wine for free and had a cash bar for anything harder if you wanted it. I think 100% cash bar is kind of tacky, either offer something free or just don't have alcohol.
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Mar 8, 2012 12:32
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Chin Strap posted:A friend did a wedding where they provided some cheap beer/wine for free and had a cash bar for anything harder if you wanted it. I think 100% cash bar is kind of tacky, either offer something free or just don't have alcohol. We did this. We also skipped the champagne toast. We knew from the beginning that we had no interest in having a full open bar or a champagne toast. That being said, our reception site included those in the standard pricing. So, we negotiated to knock it down to beer & wine only in exchange for an extra hour of beer & wine bar and passed wine during dinner. Never be afraid to negotiate! Also they comped the wedding party champagne and mixed drinks, which was thoughtful.
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Mar 8, 2012 15:10
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Scrapez posted:I am currently looking at engagement rings and diamonds. I've basically got the setting picked out (Tension setting with princess cut pave diamonds). 1. Most will order their tension settings from a specialist. Many companies make them, and any manufacturer will be able to modify the design to your liking. One of my favorite manufacturers is Gebrueder Shaffrath from Germany. Exquisite work. http://www.gebrueder-schaffrath.de/en/collection/korona/ 2. Look for a well made stone without a thin girdle. A properly proportioned diamond with a medium girdle will be the easiest to set in a tension setting. 3. You're exactly right that in-between sizes sell at a discount except for a .88 carat diamond. The number 8 has a special significance in China and .88 carats diamonds sell there for a premium. If I had an 8.88 carat round diamond I would only shop it to the Hong Kong market since I would make much more money.
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Mar 8, 2012 15:44
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Thanks for the tips everyone, I like the idea of having beer and wine only. I'm actually considering making the wine as the table favor which people can drink at the recption, we have a local place that is reasonably priced so that would be neat. Beer, wine and maybe a signature cocktail would be neat.
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Mar 8, 2012 16:43
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JohnnyRnR posted:1. Most will order their tension settings from a specialist. Many companies make them, and any manufacturer will be able to modify the design to your liking. One of my favorite manufacturers is Gebrueder Shaffrath from Germany. Exquisite work. Thank you very much for the response. That is really interesting about the number 8 and China. I guess I'll look for .90-.99.
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Mar 8, 2012 16:55
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JohnnyRnR posted:3. You're exactly right that in-between sizes sell at a discount except for a .88 carat diamond. The number 8 has a special significance in China and .88 carats diamonds sell there for a premium. If I had an 8.88 carat round diamond I would only shop it to the Hong Kong market since I would make much more money. Ha! Yes, my people are ridiculous about superstition about numbers. This is amusing and unsurprising. Also, by this logic, I wonder if diamonds with a "4" in its carat might be slightly cheaper because Chinese markets would hate those.
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Mar 8, 2012 18:26
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Another idea for the cash bar problem would be to have a small selection of alcoholic drink... like Bride's drink of choice, Groom's , Bridesmaid's(one agreed-upon drink), Groomsmen(one agreed-upon drink), and parents of the bride/groom. That way you get a small selection of drinks, they are unique and represent that person/couple/group of people, and it's a small but decent variety. For example: Bride: Strawberry Daiquiri Groom: Yuengling Bridesmaids: Cosmo Groomsmen: Mojito Parents of Bride: Long Island Iced Tea Parents of Groom: Whiskey Sour My fiance's sister is doing this. It's called Signature Drinks or something like that. They have a cash bar, and these are free. We were graced with the luxury of a good house blend open bar that came included in our price per head (which was also including the wedding cake, linens, center pieces, and the buffet-style meal, so grateful for that), which is 2 beers on draft, 4 wines, and tier-1 liquors (basically the nicest thing on there was Jim Beam), but, we have a cash and carry downstairs (since it's on top of a country-club/tavern), so if they want the pricey poo poo they can get it themselves and come back up to party. However, if that wasn't an option, I quite like the Signature Drink idea, to keep it contained, but flexible. e: Blah, didn't read the part where you mentioned signature drinks a couple posts up!
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Mar 8, 2012 18:36
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miseerin posted:Another idea for the cash bar problem would be to have a small selection of alcoholic drink... like Bride's drink of choice, Groom's , Bridesmaid's(one agreed-upon drink), Groomsmen(one agreed-upon drink), and parents of the bride/groom. That way you get a small selection of drinks, they are unique and represent that person/couple/group of people, and it's a small but decent variety. For example: Oooh, that's really neat. I brought it up to my guy this afternoon and he's pretty against the idea of drinking at the wedding at all, but I think our guests should be able to drink if they want. Like mentioned I want to make the wine so maybe even that, beer and a nice summery lunch type cocktail as the signature as well as a cash bar.
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Mar 8, 2012 20:50
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Does he have a moral objection to alcohol? Financial objection? Just thinks it's unnecessary?
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Mar 8, 2012 20:58
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Friend/relative you know will get drunk and embarrass everyone objection?
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Mar 8, 2012 21:01
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Butt Wizard posted:Friend/relative you know will get drunk and embarrass everyone objection? Also a perfectly valid objection.
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Mar 8, 2012 21:09
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My bride-to-be really, really wants to get contacts for our wedding day. She thinks it's dumb to spend so much time on her hair and her makeup and dress and then "hide it all behind these big ugly pieces of glass" (her words). I really don't get it. She always wears glasses, has never even tried contacts to my knowledge. (I've worn glasses since elementary school, myself, never tried contacts, never wanted to, for perspective's sake.) I really don't want her wearing contacts. It just seems so....stupid, I'm sorry, I can't think of a nicer way to put it. To me it compares to me asking to dye my hair green just for the wedding. I've never wanted it green before, I have no idea if I'll want it green for any length of time afterwards, or if it'll ever be green again if I go back, but it's  our wedding so the hair color I've had my whole life just won't do!I can't seem to think of any sort of compromise, either. Either she's bespectacled or she's not, after all. Help?
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Mar 8, 2012 22:28
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oldskool posted:My bride-to-be really, really wants to get contacts for our wedding day. She thinks it's dumb to spend so much time on her hair and her makeup and dress and then "hide it all behind these big ugly pieces of glass" (her words). My husband insisted on contacts for the wedding, even though he normally only wears them for snowboarding. It bothered me a bit because I prefer the way he looks with glasses and consider that his "normal" look, but ultimately I realized it was silly to argue with him over it. I just wanted him to be happy and comfortable on our wedding day and that was more important than any weird hangups I had about it. There are so many other things you've had your whole life that you might do differently for the wedding that I'm not sure I see the issue honestly. I've never worn my nails long and certainly never had fake nails, but I got them for my wedding day because I thought they look pretty and it was the one event in my life I could justify it for. Maybe your fiancee thinks she looks prettier without the glasses but can't justify the hassle of contacts for day to day use? There are a few compromises I can think of but you should consider whether this is really something where it's worth it to require a compromise from her.
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Mar 8, 2012 22:55
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I'm probably going to try contacts for my wedding. I want to see clearly (I can go without glasses, but it's a bit blurry), and I also don't want to wear these ridiculous specs. So I'll be wearing contacts and getting used to them a couple months in advanced. I feel for your bride... I think she just wants to feel gorgeous, and to me, I won't be completely comfortable with glasses on.... I feel dorky. I say don't put up a fight on that one.... she wants to feel amazing, and if it means contacts, so be it.
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Mar 9, 2012 04:21
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Butt Wizard posted:Friend/relative you know will get drunk and embarrass everyone objection? This is the reason I WANT as much alcohol at my wedding as possible. I will stay mostly sober and enjoy the show.
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Mar 9, 2012 04:43
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oldskool posted:I really don't want her wearing contacts. It just seems so....stupid, I'm sorry, I can't think of a nicer way to put it. To me it compares to me asking to dye my hair green just for the wedding. I've never wanted it green before, I have no idea if I'll want it green for any length of time afterwards, or if it'll ever be green again if I go back, but it's I think it's unfair to criticize her desire to wear contacts as abnormal or uncharacteristic. For most women, wearing an elaborate wedding gown is uncharacteristic and I'm sure a tuxedo/suit isn't your standard attire, either. Most people "dress up" for their weddings and wearing contacts is just an extension of that. I would do the same thing. I wear glasses everyday, but pairing glasses with an elegant gown...just doesn't seem right.
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Mar 9, 2012 04:52
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If I were getting married I would absolutely want to wear contacts. You can see everything so much clearer with the added bonus of not having to bother with your glasses once the tears start.
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Mar 9, 2012 05:12
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I wouldn't have even considered wearing my glasses at my wedding. It never would have crossed my mind. When you're spending a shitton of money on a dress and hair and makeup you don't want to put your glasses on over top of the handiwork-- or at least, I wouldn't. Maybe some women would, and that's cool for them, but the bottom line is, she doesn't want it. And frankly, I think it's a silly thing for you to be so disgruntled over. She's not telling you you have to wear contacts, she's making her own decision for her wedding look.
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Mar 9, 2012 05:34
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I wanted to get contacts for my wedding but I waited too late to get them and didn't have the money for it anyways. I compromised by wearing my glasses during the ceremony and reception, but taking them off during our formal/posed photos. It allowed me to see during all the important parts of the wedding, but all the photos that will be on our walls for the next fifty years are glasses free. Worked well enough! On the flip side, my husband wore his ugly glasses that I hate and he pretty much never wears. He wanted to see everything that day clearly though, and I couldn't really argue against that. When the big day came, I didn't give a poo poo about his glasses as I was too busy enjoying everything else going on and they look fine in all our photos too. Basically, you should just let her do what she wants, because in the end it's really not going to matter and you are going to be way too busy being happy to care about something as stupid as contact lenses.
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Mar 9, 2012 06:49
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I've considered getting contacts for my wedding. I used to wear contacts, albiet briefly, I just hate how I look in glasses and how hard it is to photograph people in contacts. Update on the brother getting engaged drama: For a while there, we thought our wedding budget had been drastically reduced because of this (My parents are paying for the majority of it as their wedding gift to us) but my mom text me earlier to say there will be no changes to the amount of money we are receiving for the wedding planning, which is good because we had already been working off the budget intially set out. We are looking at an outside reception, with party tents, my concern is a) how do you do a semi decent dance floor with lighting once it gets dark, and b) rain.
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Mar 9, 2012 15:25
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